Friday, December 13, 2019

Project Runway 12/12/19--"Cats of the Urban Jungle" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: sixteen new designers met at the airport for our new season. Everyone had to pair up and make a jumpsuit and a happy hour look for a space hotel. But they were allowed to pick their own partners! Brittany won, with a jumpsuit with clear insets and some mullet detailing on the ankles and wrists. It was a pretty cool jumpsuit. Jenn and Asma were the losing team, and in a twist the judges decided to eliminate both of them for two looks that weren't very good and didn't go together at all. I was surprised, but then again not, because Christian has a Save this season, so I would assume at some point he'll use it and they'll have an episode where no one goes home. So this balances. (click for more)
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Saturday, December 7, 2019

Project Runway 12/5/19--"Blast Off!" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: we had a whole new season without Tim or Heidi, and I did not mind at all. Sebastian won, which was nice. Not as much nonsense judging. (click for more)
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Thursday, December 5, 2019

Project Runway recap will be delayed

I know the new season starts tonight, but I will be out tonight and I don't think I can get a recap done for a 90 minute episode and still wake up for work tomorrow. It actually may be Saturday, but it IS coming! Clicky clicky

Saturday, October 26, 2019

90 Day Fiance--"Couples Tell All pt. 2" summary s6e13

Previously on “90 Day Fiance”: most of the reunion show was as expected, except for the part where Colt and Larissa decided to show up late. But no one minded because everyone else hates them. I am forcing myself to write this so that it can be over. Sorry it took me so long. (click for more)
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Sunday, October 20, 2019

90 Day Fiance--"Couples Tell All pt. 1" summary s6e12

Previously on “90 Day Fiance”: It's time for the reunion episodes which apparently are just as drama filled as the regular show. (click for more)
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Monday, September 30, 2019

90 Day Fiance--"Make It or Break It" summary s6e11

Previously on “90 Day Fiance”: Eric pretty much begged his daughters to come to his wedding, because they knew he was choosing Leida over them. He even said he was, because his kids won't leave the country if they're upset, but Leida will. Tasha flat out refused to come to the wedding, and her sisters appear to be taking her side. Meanwhile Eric promised Leida she was ahead of his kids, even though in confessional he said he wouldn't marry anyone like this. Supposedly if Tasha shows up to the wedding, Leida won't cause a scene. Olga visited her friend, who suggested maybe Steven didn't apply for her visa at all, maybe he came here planning to take the baby. Then Steven admitted he waited to apply for the visa until he came to Russia, instead of months before like he told her. He vaguely explained that he didn't know if they were going to work out, but then he said that he is not taking Richie with him and proposed to Olga so it seems like all is forgiven. I still think someone yelled at him. Kalani dragged as much drama as possible out of her sister not knowing she was pregnant, but then she told her at the bachelorette party the night before the wedding. Kolini burst into tears like this was a personal affront and now they're mad at each other, I guess. Fernanda wrote Jonathan a letter about her point of view and apologized, then Jonathan apologized and they forgave each other. But Fernanda still demanded that he return home if she said so, and he agreed. Colt's mom didn't think she could forgive Larissa, but supposedly Colt talked to her and suddenly Larissa is ready to go get her nails done with Mom and apologize and say she can keep on living with them. Sure. Ashley and Jay got married in Vegas, and Ashley suddenly was so sad about not having her friends around she was mopey the whole time. And then she called the producers because Jay created a Tinder profile the day they got back from Vegas and he's been FaceTiming random women. Oh also she IMMEDIATELY went crying to Natalie, who sadly didn't tell her to get fucking bent and slam the door in her face. (click for more)
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Saturday, September 28, 2019

90 Day Fiance--"Where Truth Lies" summary s6e10

Previously on “90 Day Fiance”: Natalie came to Ashley's house to yell about how terrible Jay is. Ashley was not having it, because she says Natalie just wants attention and can't take a hint. Ashley and Jay headed to Vegas, where they had a minor argument about how much sex they should be having, a discussion they should probably have had three months ago. Larissa said she was going to be “sweet” so Colt wouldn't kick her out, and she sort of was but not really. Colt accepted her apology though. They went out with some friends and when Larissa whined about attention Colt rolled his eyes and they had a fight about it. Real healthy relationship. Steven's stupid ass got his son's passport taken care of, but he was very matter-of-fact about how he plans to take his son with him to America if Olga's visa isn't ready by the time he has to leave. Because how dare Olga keep him from his son's life, because it's obviously not his fault her visa isn't ready. Oops, spoiler! Kalani and Asuelu discovered she was pregnant, because they weren't using protection, and Kalani freaked out about how her life was ruined and took zero responsibility for this happening. Then Asuelu said some romantic things and suddenly she's sure she wants to get married. Eric decided that Tasha needed to move out, and this is hard but it's what is best for Tasha. He said Leida will leave the US if she's not happy, but Tasha won't, so he has to please Leida. Tania (Eric's ex) spoke to Leida, and Leida basically said she wasn't changing her mind and she didn't care if none of the kids came to the wedding. Jonathan went to meet his friend for drinks, and while there, Fernanda blew up his phone. When he got home, she was very upset he ignored her, because she was having a bad night and he was ignoring her. It sounds like she felt really lonely, or possibly was having a bad night mental health-wise, and Jonathan is all she has. At the same time, Jonathan felt he couldn't go out for an hour without her demanding attention, and she spends hours on the phone, not talking to him. They fought about his “sacrifices” and left things in a bad spot.(click for more)
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Sunday, September 15, 2019

90 Day Fiance--"Backed Into a Corner" summary s6e9

Previously on “90 Day Fiance”: Eric refused to stop paying child support, and Leida just kept repeating that she's not happy. So Eric said “This is over” and basically seemed fine with calling off the wedding. But then suddenly she said she understood and wouldn't protest the child support. We don't see any thought process or explanation for her changing her mind. My suspicion that Leida never changed her mind and just had her bluff called is supported by how she went back to the apartment and kicked Tasha out, effective immediately. Tasha wasn't going to go, but Eric appeared to back Leida up in a phone call, so she felt disowned and left. Larissa went dress shopping with Mom and Colt's cousin's wife Lea, and decided on a sexy dress because that's what Colt would want, except that it's double her budget so it's another thing she wants but is too expensive. Then Colt thought a barbecue would help Larissa and John stop hating each other, because he is an idiot. Of course they had a fight, with John deciding that Larissa was a terrible person for not wanting to live with Mom after they get married, and Larissa deciding that Mom had poisoned everyone against her and was out to ruin her life. Larissa uninvited John and family from her wedding, and then when Colt told her she needed to calm down she threw the ring on the floor and left the room. Fernanda basically shamed Jonathan into being nice to his mother, and having a closer relationship with his family. Because HER mother told her that how he treats his own mother, is how he's going to treat Fernanda. Kalani and Asuelu FINALLY had a conversation, except it was Kalani being mad that Asuelu shuts down and doesn't talk to her, and also that he tries to cuddle with her when she's mad. Asuelu explained that he's very physical, and so when she won't hug him, he thinks she's stopped loving him. Suddenly all of Kalani's doubts were gone, even though she acted like a disappointed mom the whole time and they never addressed the part where she said she didn't want to marry him because he's too immature to be left alone with the baby. Steven's stupid ass told Olga that his son's citizenship was the most important thing to him, more important than Olga's visa and also sightseeing when they go to Moscow to the embassy. They also meet Olga's best friend who knows what's up, and Steven does not convince anyone he's not an ass. Ashley and Jay canceled their wedding, because of racist threats, and she told her two bridesmaids that they were going to elope in Vegas instead. Then Natalie arrived at the house, because Natalie didn't take the obvious gift of not having to deal with these people's drama anymore. (click for more)
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Thursday, September 5, 2019

90 Day Fiance--"No Way Out" summary s6e8

Previously on “90 Day Fiance”: Colt and Larissa looked at one bedroom apartments, then broke the news to Colt's mom that she wouldn't be coming with them. It seems like she understood but wasn't happy about it. Jay apologized to Ashley, because as he has said, she'll never admit she's wrong so he has to do it. They then discovered that racist assholes have discovered their wedding website and have left a hundred comments with every slur imaginable and also threats of violence. Fernanda tried on wedding dresses, and Jonathan's mom came and made several snide comments, and then pretended to be sympathetic. Steven decided that Olga was paying too much attention to their two week old son so he lectured her on how she doesn't appreciate all the shit he does for her and how he should be the most important person. Olga sadly did not leave him stranded in Russia, but instead demanded to know why she had to do all the work in the relationship, and then got upset. Steven claimed to not want to make her cry, but completely failed to apologize or do anything other than continue to demand attention, because he's an asshole. Leida hated the hotel meeting room Eric got for the wedding, so she demanded extravagant flowers (which she got) and then also expensive furniture (which she did not get). Eventually she bitched about the child support, and threatened to break it off because in her opinion the child support prevents Eric from providing for her properly. Kalani went wedding dress shopping and was a giant drama queen about how she doesn't know if she wants to get married, because she won't act like an adult and have a conversation with Asuelu, as an equal, about her concerns. Kolini arrived and that was another whole stupid drama event because of course it is. She tried to get him to admit he's just with Kalani for her money, which is not the case, but he also tried to say Americans don't support their spouses' families, or something. Turns out that's because Asuelu's brother said some sexist shit on a phone call so clearly she's not supporting him. It's fair but she said it in the most condescending, lecturing mom tone possible. Asuelu's response was to say he wants to go home and walk out of the restaurant, which in the sisters' eyes is clearly worse than going shopping for a wedding dress you repeatedly claim to not want. (click for more)
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Thursday, August 22, 2019

90 Day Fiance--"Ready to Run" summary s6e7

Previously on “90 Day Fiance”: Colt and Larissa fought over the wedding. Larissa wants a fancy dinner at a fancy restaurant, like, say, this Brazilian steakhouse. Colt does not want to spend as much money. He made a stupid joke, then when Larissa got mad he tried to fix it by taking her to look at a venue, but then while there he flirted with the hostess and pissed off Larissa again. Steven continued to be an ass, but in interview he claimed to get it. But when actually speaking to Olga he acted like they both were causing the problem. Ashley decided she didn't trust Jay, even though she basically admitted to everyone that she didn't care if he was cheating on her in Jamaica (she also changed the story to “Natalie lied about Jay in Jamaica”). Now that he's here, apparently, he's not allowed to talk to anyone that's not his family and has to tell her where he's going. They had a really annoying fight about it, where Jay was offended that Ashley was suspicious but also wouldn't say anything to clear himself. I have zero patience for someone who kicked her best friend out of her life for saying “Jay cheated on you” but then can turn around and say “I don't trust him and he better not be cheating”. Eric and Leida finally went back to their lives, after taking Leida's family back to the airport. Reina was so unhappy she refused to say goodbye. Leida is apparently personally offended by the messy apartment, and she decided Tasha did it on purpose. As they met for the first time, Leida basically ordered Tasha to move out that day, while Eric tried to tell her he wasn't putting his daughter on the street, and also suggesting things like Tasha staying in a motel. Tasha pointed out that she's on the lease, and Leida isn't, so whatever. Kalani refused to deal with her problems like an adult and had her brother Nick take Asuelu out with the baby so that Nick could spy and see if Asuelu was “safe” with Oliver. Nick decided that putting the baby on his shoulders, while holding onto him, was so unsafe that Kalani shouldn't marry him. Asuelu was not happy to learn about the spying, because Kalani just flat out told him like it was no big deal. He asked if he always does things wrong then why is he here? Jonathan and Fernanda went to Chicago, where Jonathan's sister was pleasant in person but not very supportive in confessional. Jonathan's mom was passive aggressive and kept bringing up Fernanda's age and pretending she didn't mean to be harsh. (click for more)
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Saturday, August 17, 2019

90 Day Fiance--"Flirting With Disaster" summary s6e6

Previously on “90 Day Fiance”: Fernanda sulked overnight and eventually forgave Jonathan, although I'm not sure it was because of anything he actually did. I think she just got tired of making him beg forgiveness. Then he admitted to her that his mother only found out about the engagement on social media, and so maybe his family won't instantly love her. Olga finally had her Caesarian section and had a healthy baby boy. Steven is very self-absorbed, and only concerned about himself, until the baby is finally here and he is holding his son. He sadly did not faint at the sight of blood. This is short lived because as soon as Olga is discharged, he was over in the hospital yelling at her to hurry up and change into street clothes so they can go home because according to him, only being allowed into the hospital for an hour a day is the worst thing to happen to him. Larissa tried to get Colt to buy a better car, one with air conditioning, but he said it's not in the budget. She literally says she would rather have a car than a big wedding. Later Colt decided he needed to buy her a giant ring to propose properly, and Larissa showed the most emotion and love for Colt she has shown this whole season. This is after Colt took her to the Stratosphere, which is the tallest structure on the Vegas Strip, knowing she was afraid of heights. So he just didn't warn her because otherwise she wouldn't agree to go. Jay thought everyone was staring at him, because Ashley lives in a neighborhood with no black people. He got his hair cut and the guys at the barbershop were hilarious, plus he seemed much more comfortable with other black guys. Asuelu and Kalani drove to Utah. Asuelu is not used to car seats, so when Oliver started crying he took the baby out of the car seat while they were on the highway. Kalani completely lost her shit and screamed at him, so in response to her “treating [him] like a child”, he refused to speak to her until the next morning. They then met Kalani's brother Nick who felt the best way to start his relationship with his future brother-in-law is to demand a nickname because his name is too long, then give him a condom. Leida hated Eric's apartment so much she refused to sleep there, and then the next morning she took her whole family over to look at it. Immediately after they agreed that it was a dump, she changed her tune about how Eric was looking for somewhere else, and she'll just have to deal with it. I have no idea why she would say “My family won't let me stay here if they think it's not good enough” and then take them to the apartment to show them it wasn't good enough. Then her family tried to shame her into not forcing Tasha to move out and offered Eric money for a better place and Leida said she wasn't moving back and I have no idea. (click for more)
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Sunday, August 4, 2019

90 Day Fiance--"Not What I Thought" summary s6e5

Previously on “90 Day Fiance”: Larissa wanted to buy a couch, but Colt's mom wouldn't let her buy one without Colt's input. She sulked for a while, and then we were told that Colt and his mom share a bank account and that Colt thought they'd continue that after marriage. Mom clarified later (on the live show) that they have a joint account for household expenses, but they also have separate accounts. She also said Larissa is really funny and has redeeming qualities. Larissa and Colt went to visit Colt's cousin, who decided they're not going to work out because Colt just wants sex, and Larissa is just using him for a green card. Olga went into labor, and Steven was a complete idiot about how he was going to be present for his son's birth, if he had to fight the whole hospital. They did eventually let him in, and then Olga went for a Cesarean section so who knows how Steven is going to react. Leida's family returned to Wisconsin, but not after she told Eric her son isn't comfortable with him, like that's going to help. When she finally saw his apartment, she was horrified because it's a huge mess. Eric blamed his daughter, but she said in the live show afterwards that he did not clean before leaving. Leida hated the apartment and she doesn't like that Eric speaks to his ex wife and she knows her family will hate it too. Ashley threw Jay a surprise party, and of course Jay and Natalie had to have a conversation where he demanded she say exactly what she overheard about his cheating, which she wouldn't do, but then he never actually denied anything. Jay decided this drama meant that Natalie had to be cut out of their lives forever, and Ashley agreed, saying Natalie was just jealous and attention-seeking. So she cut Natalie out of the wedding. Fernanda and Jonathan went to Myrtle Beach to get away. During dinner Fernanda said she was worried Jonathan's family wouldn't like her, even though he made it clear he didn't care if they did or not. Later they went clubbing, and some random girl tried to dance with him. Fernanda lost it and stormed out and they had a big fight. Asuelu and Kalani are going to move to Utah, because Kalani quit her job to hang out with Asuelu and so now they have to live at her parents' second home. Before they left, they had another super awkward dinner with her sister, who reluctantly admitted she'll probably have to give Asuelu a chance. (click for more)
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Sunday, July 28, 2019

90 Day Fiance--"I Know What You Did" summary s6e4

Previously on “90 Day Fiance”: Jay came home to Pennsylvania with Ashley, and no one really addressed the fact that he's the only black man in the whole neighborhood. No one mentioned Ashley's kids, and Jay was super dramatic about the cold. Steven arrived in Russia, and he and Olga bought a bunch of stuff they'll need for the baby. Olga doesn't really have family (she implied she grew up in an orphanage), so there isn't that drama. Steven doesn't understand how due dates work, and he's irritated that he maybe won't have as much time with Olga as he thought. Also he is determined to be in the room when his son is born, even though that's not the way Russia works. Reina isn't super thrilled about Eric and Eric's life, but Leida said she doesn't have a plan B. She also reiterated that she doesn't like that Eric pays alimony. Larissa arrived at Colt's house and proceeded to shit on everything. Mom was very unhappy, and Colt was his usual condescending self and blew off her concerns. In the morning Larissa cooked, even though she claimed she lied about her cooking skills, and she tried to impress Mom with the cooking. But I don't think she was fooled. Also I looked it up and Brazil is indeed a country where breakfast is light and simple (the phrase for “breakfast” is literally translated “morning coffee”) so that's why she was saying he eats lunch for breakfast or whatever. Fernanda went shopping with Dani, who promised her that Jonathan was just an idiot, but that Fernanda is not dumb or naive for being upset about finding a thong. Fernanda also talked to her family, who can't get visas to come for the wedding, which is really sad. Asuelu and Kalani had a super awkward dinner with her family, where he apologized for not being around earlier, and her dad sort of grudgingly agreed he's trying. But her sister Kolini is still pissed, only now she says it's because she's been Oliver's dad and Asuelu is taking her spot. (click for more)
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Tuesday, July 23, 2019

90 Day Fiance--"Rough Landings" summary s6e3

Previously on “90 Day Fiance”: Larissa arrived in Las Vegas and proceeded to harass Colt because he didn't bring her flowers. Then she complained about his car and how she doesn't want to live in Vegas because it's not like the movies. His mom is worried their relationship will change, but at the same time she gets that it needs to because that's how it works when your kids grow up. Fernanda and Jonathan made up after their first fight, and he introduced her to his friends, who were not the best but not as terrible as the previews pretended they were. They at least are acting like they want to be supportive of Jonathan. Steven had a summer fling with Olga, who is from Russia, and she got pregnant. Because his dad died when he was young, he is very determined that he be involved in his son's life, which includes taking his first plane flight ever to Russia so he can be present for his son's birth. He admitted he wouldn't be getting married if Olga wasn't pregnant. Olga currently does not have her visa, which is why he was preparing to go to Russia. Asuelu arrived in California, and did a “special dance” in the airport and Kalani was mortified. He was fascinated by the freeway, and skyscrapers, and the Airbnb they're staying in. Asuelu also really tried to bond with his son. Eric picked up Leida and her sister and son in New York, and took them to Pennsylvania so they could see some of the country before heading to Wisconsin. Leida's sister Reina is here to make sure Eric isn't a serial killer or whatever, and her parents are flying out to make sure of the same thing. Leida was clearly not happy about not having servants. Ashley flew to Jamaica to give Jay support for his final interview, and he was granted his visa. (click for more)
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Sunday, July 14, 2019

90 Day Fiance--"Young and Restless" summary s6e2

Previously on “90 Day Fiance”: I feel terrible for watching this show, but I also need to watch this entire season now to see what happens. We were introduced to our couples (but not all of the couples). Ashley has been cheated on in every relationship she's ever had, but she trusts that Jay will stop sleeping around once he comes to the US and marries her. Her best friend Natalie said she has proof he's been cheating on Ashley, but Ashley declared that she didn't care what he was doing while in Jamaica. Colt is a software engineer who lives with his mom, who is every software engineer you know, who believes a hot Brazilian girl loves and wants to marry him. Meanwhile, she is telling him if he really loved her, he'd buy her several plane tickets and also do things like work out every day and shave his beard. Colt does not see these red flags. Jonathan, party boy, met Fernanda in Mexico and they fell in love. Hilariously, even though he has bought her breast implants, I feel they have the healthiest relationship. They both started their relationship because they thought the other one was hot, they know the other one has history and accept that. This is the only couple that met in person by the end of last episode, and this is complicated by the fact that Jonathan has not cleaned out his house and Fernanda found his ex's underwear in a drawer. But she's mad because she asked him to clean, not because it exists! And he knows he fucked up! Healthy! (click for more)
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Tuesday, July 9, 2019

90 Day Fiance--"The Clock is Tickin'" summary s6e1

I have never watched this show. But Smila001 asked if I would look at it, and I did ask for bad reality shows. If you've never heard of this show, “90 Day Fiance” refers to the “fiance visa”. You can enter the US to get married, but the visa expires after 90 days. So by the end of that you either need to be married to a US citizen, or you go back home to wherever. So it's moving in and changing your long-distance relationship to a regular one, but with added pressure. Also a caveat: I have no idea about the legality and/or realism of this type of visa. As far as I know, there is some scrutiny from the government, to make sure it's not a fake marriage. Judging from the preview, no one here is trying to do that at all, so maybe all the scrutiny is before the visa is issued? My sister is married to a British man, but he came over here first on a work/student visa, so I don't think they ever dealt with this type of visa at all. Also they got to know each other without that deadline. (click for more)
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Monday, July 8, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 12, 6/26/19

Welcome to Leg 12! Last time, on The Other Teams Hate Us Because We’re Not an Amazing Race Team, 4 teams raced to London, England. Teams helicoptered to Dover, where Christie couldn’t do a task on her own, and then let Colin row them back into the race. Teams memorized London streets and completed a surprise task from Phil at the Pit Stop. The Afghanimals broke their Leg 11 Curse by winning the leg, but Nicole and Victor were eliminated. Which leaves us with Leo and Jamal, the cousins from TAR 23 and TAR 24, dubbed the Afghanimals, who have broken all Amazing Race records by competing in their 34th leg; Tyler and Korey, the friends and YouTubers who finished third in TAR 28 and are racing in their second final; and Colin and Christie, the now married couple who finished second as a dating couple in TAR 5 and have been long awaited in their return. (Toyouke: “OMG this is intense even though I don't mind who wins. “) Three teams remain. Who will win The Amazing Race 31? (click for more)
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TAR 31, Recap Leg 11, 6/26/19

Welcome to Leg 11! Last time, on It’s Always a Single Cracked Egg That Will Send You Home, 5 teams raced to Kampen, Netherlands. A surprise U-Turn pitted Nic and Vic against Team Fun, and Team Fun’s inability to check for cracked eggs meant they were sent to the back of the pack. Colin and Christie pulled off their second leg win of the race, and Becca and Floyd were eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
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TAR 31, Recap Leg 10, 6/19/19

Welcome to Leg 10! Last time, on Triple Bald Snarks Never Pay Off, 6 teams raced to the new Amazing Race City of Split, Croatia. Nic and Vic caught a standby flight that paid off and put them in the middle of the pack. Bromance was in the lead for the first time, only to be stymied by a Detour. GayTube managed to win their fourth leg, and the significant time spent on the Detour sent Chris and Bret packing. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
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Sunday, June 16, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 9, 6/12/19

Welcome to Leg 9! Last time, on You Shouldn’t Have U-Turned Us Because That Means We’ll Lose!, 7 teams continued racing through Switzerland. Teams faced a Double U-Turn, but had to vote for who they thought should take it. Colin and Christie and the Reilly sisters got U-Turned and Nic and Vic had a Speed Bump. Once the dust settled, Gaytube finished in first for the third leg in a row, and the Reilly sisters can’t recover from shooting an apple off of a scarecrow, so they are eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
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Thursday, June 13, 2019

Project Runway 6/13/19--"The Final Runway" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the final four returned to New York with their collections, and met Nina to have their last challenge. Nina went through each collection and asked each designer to make something specific that she felt was missing from their collection. There was a minimum of drama, even though Hester had sewn through her finger. Bishme wasn't finished with his collection when he arrived, and he had had a lot of personal stuff happen to him. His heart wasn't in it and he couldn't get it together so he was eliminated. I hope he finds the success he wants. (click for more)
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Saturday, June 8, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 8, 6/5/19

Welcome to Leg 8! Last time, on The U-Turn Is Coming! The U-Turn Is Coming!, 7 teams raced to Switzerland. Teams discussed the possible U-Turn and the Reilly Sisters created a toxic relationship with Nic and Vic. There was lots of jumping off of things, and in the end GayTube won the leg again and Nic and Vic finished last on the third and final non-elimination leg of the season. (Toyouke: “You know for all that drama and whatever, look at Elissa's face when Phil says it's a non-elim leg. She and Rachel are not happy.”) Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
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Thursday, June 6, 2019

Project Runway 6/6/19--"One Elle of a Day" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the last challenge before the finale. Everyone was asked to make an “experiential fashion show”. That means you get a (fake) room and you will need to decorate it, and make an outfit that goes with your room. It needs to be “bigger and bolder” than anything else you've made this season. Hester really struggled, but had a great room full of flowers. Her look just wasn't very good. Bishme did fine, as did Sebastian, after he had a breakdown and threatened to quit. But Sebastian's dress was great. Garo did the best job of both room and dress, though, and he won. Tessa decided to make a ceramics studio, and asked her model to make some clay pots and get clay on herself, but it was not enough. The judges said her look wasn't her, and it was still unfinished, and Tessa was sent home. I thought for sure they'd get rid of Hester's very niche and weird point of view, and keep Tessa's far more salable minimalism, but I guess the unfinished hems and arguing were too much. (click for more)
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Sunday, June 2, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 7, 5/29/19

Welcome to Leg 7! Last time, on I’m Stacking It!, 8 teams raced from Dubai to Kampala, Uganda. The Big Brother Alliance was put to the test as teams stacked wood, preserved fish and competed in the first (read: SECOND) Head to Head of the season. (Toyouke: “There was some speculation online that the reason they included this last Head-to-Head, even though no placements changed, was because the last two teams ran to the mat holding hands. And there was no way to explain how the last place team caught up otherwise. They could have just made them refilm it, but that does make some sense.”) In the end, GayTube won the leg and the BBMoms were eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
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TAR 31, Recap Leg 6, 5/22/19

Welcome to Leg 6! Last time, on The Amazing Race Is Awesome and Good!, 8 teams made their way to Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. The Reillys got lost and Rachel lost it. There were dinosaurs and tall buildings. Team Fun ended up in first and got Phil to freestyle with them. In the end it was Rachel and Elissa who finished last, but were not eliminated due to the second of three randomly placed non-elimination legs. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
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TAR 31, Recap Leg 5, 5/22/19

Welcome to Leg 5! Last time, on We Can’t Be Bothered To Show A Task That Created More Drama Than This Show Has Had in a While, 9 teams continued to wander about Vietnam. The Reilly sisters decided to create drama with the female Survivors culminating in a showdown at an unaired Head To Head. Colin and Christie came in first for the first time since their six first place finishes in TAR 5, showing that older does not necessarily mean weaker. And it’s the Survivors who are out and are extremely bitter about it. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
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Thursday, May 30, 2019

Project Runway 5/30/19--"The Art of Fashion" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: we had the usual makeover episode, with women who “keep the city moving”. Everyone at least tried to do what their clients wanted, except for Tessa, who told her client she wasn't going to get a pink girly dress and then laughed about it to the other designers. And then lied to Christian and the judges about how her client loves dark colors. The judges are at least tired of her arguing, but Jamall made a poorly constructed prom dress, and his client loved it but it wasn't “him”, so of course Jamall was sent home. Sebastian made a retro dress that was still modern and he won. (click for more)
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Friday, May 24, 2019

Project Runway 5/23/19--"New York City of Dreams" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: designers were asked to design a high fashion look for a cause they want to promote. Everyone had a cause to work on, although some of them didn't work for fashion looks. Tessa made a dress referring to her sexual assault, and it was weird because she alluded to it but didn't explain until an obvious producer-planted question on the runway. It just felt like someone decided to orchestrate that reveal for maximum emotion and it might be Tessa but it certainly could be the producers. Also everyone had to make T-shirts, but that was pretty low drama. Venny's shirt said “i have a name” and black and white. I think it was the best by far. Sadly his design had too many things going on, and was poorly made, so he was sent home. Sebastian made a gorgeous gown with different shades of skin tone, but he lost to Bishme, who was supporting Baltimore youth with a dress with sequined faces. (click for more)
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Thursday, May 16, 2019

Project Runway 5/16/19--"What Do You Care About?" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the designers were asked to create stagewear for Elton John. Imagine if Elton John asked you for a stagewear outfit at the height of his popularity. Guest judge was the costume designer for the upcoming biopic. Also the eliminated designers came back to help. That didn't even cause any drama, except for Sonia kind of acted like this was her design. But that was so minor. Bishme made an amazing denim jumpsuit with rhinestones, but lost to Garo and his silver jumpsuit and giant collar. The judges sent Lela home over Venny, for being mediocre. (click for more)
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Tuesday, May 14, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 4, 5/8/19

Welcome to Leg 4! Last time, on Who Needs to Practice . . . It’s Karaoke!, 9 teams zipped their way to Vietnam. The Big Brother teams formed an alliance, and Leo and Jamal finally succumbed to the pressure and started to struggle. In the end it was Bret and Chris who finished last, but were not eliminated due to the non-elimination leg. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more):
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Monday, May 13, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 3, 5/1/19

Welcome to Leg 3! Last time, on My Elephant Is Broken!, 10 teams raced to Laos. The double U-Turn sent Team Fun and Team YouTube to both tasks, and Becca was not happy with Rachel for doing so. The Afghanimals, after some hardships on the leg, finish first again, and Rupert and Laura manage to continue to be in last place and are eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more):
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Sunday, May 12, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 2, 4/24/19

Welcome to Leg 2! Last time, on Fifteen Minutes of Fame Wasn’t Quite Enough, 11 teams started Amazing Race 31, Reality Show Showdown! There was a romp in a giant sand sculpture and then a flight to Japan. The Afghanimals dominated and Team Rupert got lost in a park for two hours. In the end, Border Patrol Art and JJ couldn’t climb Mt. Fuji and were eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
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Friday, May 10, 2019

Project Runway 5/9/19--"The Stitch Is Back" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: Morena Baccarin showed up to tell the designers they needed to work in groups of three to make a capsule collection for a trip to Rio. So they have to both make swimwear and also match a client's style. Then Karlie and Nina weren't even on the runway, which kind of maybe explains what went down. You know Nina wouldn't tolerate this. So Hester made a swimsuit, which was sort of OK except the backside did not fit at all. It was way too large, so it was wrinkly, but it also gave her a wedgie. Not one word was spoken about this. Even Hester acknowledged it was jacked up, but the judges not only didn't mention it, they gave her the win. I know. When she got back to the Scrap Bin, Tessa flat out told her that her look sucked and then acted like she wasn't being petty. Renee tried to make pants in a new way but they were terrible and she was eliminated. (click for more)
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Thursday, May 2, 2019

Project Runway 5/2/19--"Blame It on Rio" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: everyone got a clear Lucite handbag from Brandon, with a random object inside. Each designer had to make an elegant design inspired by whatever was in the handbag they took. Tessa, sadly, declared several times that she did not want a plus-sized model. Tessa, you should have won the video game challenge but come on. To be perfectly fair, the two plus sized models (who aren't even plus sized, but have a deep front porch if you know what I mean) are the last two, so it's not like Tessa was alone in her opinion. Hester decided she was going to waste her immunity on a mermaid gown with pasties, because of course she did. Jamall was due for some personal growth so he draped his fabric instead of using muslin, so everyone (literally everyone) praised him for personal growth and he won. Even though his dress had weird pouches and draping. Sonia didn't have time to make everything she wanted, and the dress she did make was too boring, so she was eliminated. (click for more)
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Tuesday, April 30, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 1, 4/17/19

Welcome to Leg 1 of The Amazing Race 31! I was ready for the premiere at the end of May, so I was surprised when the first episode happened during Holy Week. Anyway, the Amazing Camera twists and turns through LA, and makes its way to the beaches. We end up in Hermosa Beach and as usual, to Phil, who is just hanging out. Phil wanders to Hermosa Beach Pier, the Starting Line for The Amazing Race 31. However, the teams are making their way to the beach, and these teams are here for a special Reality Television Showdown. It’s Big Brother vs. The Amazing Race vs. Survivor! (click for more)
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Friday, April 26, 2019

Project Runway 4/25/19--"Elegance is the New Black" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the designers were asked to design a video game character. But then everyone harped on how it shouldn't be a costume, even though that's literally what they're doing. And then they rewarded costumes. Some things never change, I guess. I mean Christian was asking everyone “but what does she do?” and demanding gimmicks. Tessa made a miller's daughter, complete with overalls that converted to an apron and a fake bag of flour. And let me tell you, I play Slime Rancher and the main character looks like Tessa's design. But they gave the win to Hester and her ribbons and jetpack. Venny made a weird Christian superhero, but Rakan made some folded leather top, and didn't listen to anyone (again) so Rakan was out. (click for more)
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Wednesday, April 24, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 0, 4/10/19

Welcome back to the Amazing Race! It’s season number thirty-one, and the gimmick this season is a Battle of the CBS Reality Network Stars! Now, to be fair, I was anticipating this start after school had completed so I was completely caught off guard when this season was moved up to HOLY WEEK of all times to start a television show. (Toyouke: “I do not like that there are no individual team videos.”) That does make things difficult. Oh, and I brought Toyouke along for the snark. Aren’t you lucky? Since the teams of two were predetermined, and many are from the same reality show, we’ll be able to do this the way it should be, as in without watching the first episode. The eleven teams for TAR31 are (click for more):
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Friday, April 19, 2019

Project Runway 4/18/19--"Power Play" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: luxury streetwear. Not everyone was able to handle streetwear, but for some it was their wheelhouse. Also Dapper Dan came to comment on everything. Bishme won with a cool jacket that could be personalized. Kovid made something too boring, and was finally eliminated. (click for more)
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Thursday, April 11, 2019

Project Runway 4/11/19--"High Fashion to High Street" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: we had this season's unconventional materials challenge out in the woods. Everyone was supposed to make “survival chic” outfits out of camping supplies and leaves. Also camping, and also the runway was outside too. Several people made high fashion looks, but not “survivor” looks. Renee made a cargo jacket and hung pouches and whatnot off it, and she really did the best at meeting “survival” so she won. Afa was eliminated, for making a weird net skirt and I think because his model was cold and the judges fixated on that fact. (click for more)
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Friday, April 5, 2019

Project Runway 4/5/19--"Survive in Style" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: everyone had to make a head-to-toe look with a print. Of course some people don't use prints and kind of freaked out, but that's to be expected. Hester won, I guess because she doubted herself so she needed encouragement? I didn't mind her look, anyway. Nadine was upset she got one of the plus-sized models, then complained about her walk, then told the judges she couldn't make what she wanted because of her model. She was sent home, although she did say in her exit interview that she's not cut out for the show. And not everyone is cut out for reality television, so it's not like that's a huge failing on her part or anything. I just wish she could have made that decision and left without complaining a bunch so it seems like she hates fat people. You know? (click for more)

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Project Runway delay

Sorry guys, but I'm exhausted, and I can't get a recap up tonight. It's gonna have to wait until after work. It'll get there eventually. Thanks for waiting. Clicky clicky

Friday, March 29, 2019

Project Runway 3/28/19--"All the Rage" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the designers were divided into groups of three to design futuristic fashion to go with body modifications. Silicone prosthetics like shoulder horns and gills and whatever. Tessa got really bossy, but in the end her team's collection was cohesive, and she did give plenty of credit to her team. Especially Sebastian, who made part of her garment and his own garment. He ended up winning. Hester insisted on buying tulle (against the advice of Christian), then asked Nadine for fabric because she didn't want to use the tulle, then decided to use the tulle anyway, after cutting up all the other fabric. But the team of Renee, Kovid, and Frankie ended up on the bottom, mainly because Kovid and Frankie had unfinished looks. Frankie couldn't recover from being in the bottom twice in the first two episodes and was sent home. (click for more)
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Thursday, March 28, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 3/27/19--"All the World's a Runway" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: the final four designers were asked to create three looks for a family portrait. No one complained about having to make clothes for children or for men which was nice. Anne straight up told everyone not to care about their clients, which was rude, and then she was the guest judge which I thought was suspicious. But probably someone canceled last minute and she filled in. Isaac and Georgina continued to praise Dmitry for the same techniques, as they have been doing all season, because making the same dress over and over is the sign of “a really good designer”. Then Anne said it was hard to judge because no one pleased their clients. In the end Biddell won, and then I guess they couldn't agree on who to get rid of because everyone was being irrational so no one was eliminated. (click for more)
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Friday, March 22, 2019

Project Runway 3/21/19--"The Future is Here" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: new season, new host, new judges, new workroom, new mentor. Everyone had to bring a piece from their last collection to show who they are, and then they had to be inspired by a personal photo shown to them by one of the judges. They also had to take a social media pic for public voting. AND the Scrap Bin has a TV so you can watch the judging. Renee and Vinny did well, but Tessa won with a long tunic and pants with strap and button details. Frankie tried to make a bathing suit, but she ran out of fabric and it looked a mess. However, Cavanagh completely failed at making her tweed jacket, blamed it on the model being too big, and then just sent down a black top and skirt that were super basic. And then even though Cavanagh had many bitchy confessionals and seemed poised to be the villain of the season, she was sent home for being boring! And they saved Frankie who is a sweetheart! Guys remember when this show was good? I think we might be back there again. (click for more)
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Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 3/20/19--"Modern Families" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: Nina arrived to tell everyone they had to make a gown for “a royal ball” and use silk. Everyone tried to be modern, except that a royal ball is very formal and modern is generally frowned upon. Look at the rules surrounding the British royal family, and those are for random events! Not even for formal occasions. Anyway, Irina won, even though she basically made a corset and then a ball gown out of tulle with some ribbons. There is no way you would basically be half naked at a royal ball. Michelle and Anthony Ryan did a ton of whining about how they don't do gowns, but in the end Michelle made an appliqued maxi dress in orange and red and hot pink, and Anthony Ryan made a caftan in yellow and blue. Imagine that caftan with maybe fewer feathers and on a pregnant socialite. Right? So of course Anthony Ryan was sent home, even though his dress was an actual functional dress and didn't look like he spent an hour making it. Regular “Project Runway” on Bravo is really highlighting the random-ass decisions on this show. (click for more)
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Friday, March 15, 2019

Top Chef 3/14/19--"Finale" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: Padma made everyone make a dish with durian. Also apparently Padma hates durian. Michelle won an extra hour to cook for the Elimination Challenge, which was to “look to your own heritage” but use Chinese ingredients. Family members were on hand to provide support. Sara made matzo ball soup with Chinese flavors, which is a good idea, even though I still don't like her. She won, and made the finale with Kelsey and Eric. Sadly Michelle didn't use enough Chinese flavors, and she was eliminated. (click for more)
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Project Runway 3/14/19--"First Impressions" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: well it was a very long time ago. And on another network. And it had Heidi and Tim. Project Runway has moved back to Bravo, with a new model and a new mentor and new judges except for Nina. (click for more)
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Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 3/13/19--"Nina Says Don't Cry Over Spilt Silk" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: all the designers pretended to be weatherpeople so we could pay some lip service to climate change and make “transformational resortwear”. Basically everyone got two weather “conditions” and their garments had to adapt to both. I put it in quotes because the assignments were uneven: sun and snow makes sense, but thunderstorms and wind are basically the same thing. Anyway, Michelle made a jumpsuit and a skirt that turned into a sloppy jacket, and she won. Christina made a swimsuit and a kimono coverup, but her transformation was to tie a sash around the coverup, plus it was something you could buy right now, so she was sent home. (click for more)
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Thursday, March 7, 2019

Top Chef 3/7/19--"The Tao of Macau" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: we began the finale in Macau, in the local market. Graham was here to help the contestants navigate and also to tell everyone how he has a restaurant here. We did not go to his restaurant. Obviously the Quickfire is to cook something with ingredients from the market. Michelle won with cuttlefish noodles. The Elimination Challenge asked the chefs to make a dish for a New Year's party. It must include pork, because it's the Year of the Pig. Also some eliminated contestants showed up with ingredients that represent different ideals like health and happiness. So everyone had to use whichever ingredients they got there also. Kelsey decided the night before not to use pork belly in her dish, but it didn't hurt her and her broth won. Adrienne made a canape, which sounded like it probably tasted good, but the judges weren't impressed (and they thought it was stingy) so she was eliminated. (click for more)
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Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 3/6/19--"Climate Quick Change" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: The designers were asked to create gender neutral high fashion streetwear. This meant that five out of the remaining seven designers made boxy, oversized coats. I guess Dmitry made a trench coat that wasn't a box but it's still a coat. Then the judges got excited about the coats so I guess that's what they have decided gender neutral means. Also there was some stupid drama with Irina using Christina's sewing machine to make personal items, and then not moving because the whole drama with sewing machines has always been stupid, and then Christina taking Michelle's machine and then no one blaming Christina for her part in this stupid argument. Michelle and friends were on social media last week bitching about how Irina is mean because they can't let this go. Anyway, Christina won, and while she did have an oversized coat, I guess it wasn't box shaped. Sean made an interesting outfit that was NOT a coat but had pinstripes so Isaac said it was old and cliché and boring so Sean went home. (click for more)
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Thursday, February 28, 2019

Top Chef 2/28/19--"Holy Macau!" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: remember those gardens everyone planted? They all had to make something from their gardens for the Quickfire, which Justin won. Then each contestant had to come up with a dish that was a thank you to their mentor, who would also be at dinner. Also there was an auction but it was very boring. Sara won, and her food looks good, I just don't like Sara herself. Justin made a duo and plated his fish duo five minutes early, which ruined it, and then Tom hates duos so Justin was eliminated. (click for more)
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Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 2/27/19--"All-Inclusive" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: we had a whole episode about JC Penney even though JC Penney has ended their contract with Project Runway and won't produce their clothes or anything. So it's not clear if they even gave out the cash prize for winning the challenge. Anyway, everyone had to pick out three pieces and then cut them up and make an nighttime look. What does “nighttime look” mean? No one knows of course. Biddell won, even though his model looked like she was wearing one of those glider suits like she's BASE jumping. Cynthia made a dress that wasn't particularly “nighttime” and then put an ugly long vest over it so she was sent home.
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Thursday, February 21, 2019

Top Chef 2/21/19--"Kentucky Farewell" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: we finally mentioned KFC and had everyone make fried chicken for the Quickfire. First, though, everyone had to identify herbs and spices while blindfolded. Sadly Sara bragged about how great she'd be at this and then she was actually good at it. Justin couldn't even get salt. Sara won, although she didn't win immunity or any advantage. The Elimination challenge was to make a dish for a progressive dinner honoring Muhammad Ali. Each person got a dossier about one of Ali's fights, and had to “be inspired” while also working together enough to make some kind of cohesive dinner. Sara raised a stink about getting the fight that was in Kentucky, because suddenly she doesn't want to do it just because it's in Kentucky. But tough, because she does (and then lies about how she's fine with it). Eric won by making African cuisine, and he's emotional about it. Eddie had trouble when they're supposed to be inspired by things, and once again he made a sort of lackluster dish with lackluster inspiration and he's eliminated. (click for more)
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Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 2/20/19--"Penneys from Heaven" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: the challenge was to involve “innovation” to make some avant garde garments. Anthony Ryan covered a coat in clear vinyl so you could write on it with dry erase markers. I mean, sure, that's innovative. So he won. Django barely tried and made a white linen pantsuit with a big hat. Sean failed too, but he at least tried to do something innovative, so Sean was saved while Django was eliminated. (click for more)
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Thursday, February 14, 2019

Top Chef 2/14/19--"The Greatest" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: the Quickfire involved bullion cubes. Sure. Eddie won, somehow, and as a prize he got immunity and didn't have to participate in the Elimination challenge. Which was to go to a basketball stadium and compete in teams. Sara and Adrienne both made chicken and waffles, and Sara bought boxed waffle mix. This was not looked on well by Tom and sundry, and caused the most drama we've seen all season. Eric and Justin took the opportunity to get the crowd to chant against Sara, and then couldn't read the room and kept making jokes in the Stew Room when it was clear Sara didn't think it was a joke. Sara was mad that they'd even bring it up, which is ridiculous because Tom already knew about it. Also you know she'd whip up the crowd if the situation was reversed. Anyway, Eric won by making chicken wing lollipops, but his whole team (him, Justin, and Adrienne) each won $5,000. While Sara rightfully got shit for using box waffle mix and having soggy waffles, Michelle had soggy ribs and pickles that needed more acidity ( the whole point of pickles) and so Michelle was eliminated. (click for more)
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Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 2/13/19--"Pure Imagination" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: the designers were asked to make red carpet looks using metallics. Sean won, by making a skirt out of fringe. You forgot he did fringe, didn't you. The jacket had an origami thing happening so it wasn't all fringe. Anya was behind and had to have people help her sew her look, but then it was still terrible. And she was eliminated. (click for more)
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Thursday, February 7, 2019

Top Chef 2/7/19--"Hoop Dreams" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: we went to Nashville because I guess Kentucky isn't actually as great as everyone was claiming. Anyway, there was a Quickfire that involved the Grand Ole Opry and cooking from a rider. Adrienne won, even though she was still sick. The Elimination challenge was to make a dish based on a music memory. Michelle got emotional and won. I'm not saying she won because she was the most emotional, but I think the judges were moved and also her dish was really good so that was that. David was sent home, for oversalting everything. Kelsey oversalted everything too, but she I guess had “recognizable” food, instead of clam salad which Tom decided he was confused by? We all know salad greens and chicken and croutons are not chicken pot pie, but fine. (click for more)
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Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 2/6/19--"Pedal to the Metal" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: the designers were supposed to be inspired by animals to make an outfit for a night out. Basically that meant make something that doesn't look terrible and have some kind of connection to an animal. They were not super strict about the challenge theme. There was some very dumb drama about how Michelle made a dress with sheer strips and floating panels, like Dmitry always makes. The producers were unable to find any clips or shots where Dmitry gave a shit about this. Irina and Anthony Ryan gossiped about it to different people, and Michelle got stupidly “offended” about how supposedly people were talking behind her back, but Dmitry acted like he couldn't be bothered to pretend it mattered. So of course Michelle won. Juli made a boring little black dress and then spiced it up with off-white ruffled panels on her model's hips for some reason, so she was sent home. (click for more)
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Thursday, January 31, 2019

Top Chef 1/31/19--"Music City USA" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: no Quickfire, but the Elimination challenge was to get into two teams and throw a party on a houseboat on the lake. Eddie got to pick teams, and took the extra person since there were an odd number of people left. He took the more introverted people who wanted a “classier” party. Adrienne spent most of the episode sick, and there was briefly some drama with a loss of power but in the end, it didn't affect much. Kelsey won, and her team got 79 votes out of 100 which is a pretty substantial landslide. Kelsey's oysters and her puppy chow party favors gave her the win. Meanwhile, Brian decided to get into the hot tub with his shoes on, to be “fun”, but then cooked his porchetta so poorly he was eliminated. (click for more)
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Project Runway All Stars 1/30/19--"On the Prowl" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: we pretended that corsets celebrate a woman's figure, because sure. Everyone got a corset they had to incorporate into a garment. I feel that “All Stars” should have to construct their own corsets from scratch, but as we all know they don't ask for my opinion even though they should. Christina made wings over her model's hips and a latticework skirt and she won. I didn't really like her look, but in terms of “we're going to sell your look online” it was simple enough for that, I guess. Jasper did some weird thing with his pants, and some poorly-arranged lace, and was sent home. (click for more)
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Thursday, January 24, 2019

Top Chef 1/24/19--"Whatever Floats Your Boat" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: the Quickfire involved making a spin on the Kentucky Hot Brown, meaning you had to make a hot sandwich-style dish with turkey and some kind of sauce. Justin won with a maple Mornay sauce and fried turkey, which sounded amazing. The Elimination challenge involved beef primal cuts and beef, basically. The secret requirement was apparently just huge cuts of meat, cooked simply. That's what the judges actually wanted, and no one really made that, so everyone was disappointed. Eddie won, with cabbage rolls, basically. I mean, I'm not saying I don't think he should have won, because I'm not upset about it. But they nailed a bunch of people for not making giant steaks and bones and whatever, and they had to feed the whole restaurant so maybe make it clearer that you just want beef? Instead of that being the secret requirement you bust everyone for? Anyway, Brandon made beef tartare with some weird sauce that was too thick, so he was sent home. (click for more)
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Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 1/23/19--"Of Corsets Fashion" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: the unconventional materials challenge involved Southwest Airlines, so of course there were seatbelts, and ticket jackets, and random plastic. Irina won by making a dress out of the circular bottoms of paper cups. Seth Aaron tried to make a dress out of seat belts but it had a terrible silhouette so he was eliminated. (click for more)
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Thursday, January 17, 2019

Top Chef 1/17/19--"Carne!" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: so we had a competition for Last Chance Kitchen, where Nini and Brother Luck competed to come back to the competition. Nini made a couple more mistakes so in the end, Brother Luck returned to the show. I wasn't that surprised. The Elimination challenge was to make a canape inspired by a Prohibition-era cocktail. Eric made an oyster dish, which is not a canape, but not very many people made actual canapes so I guess that wasn't that important. Anyway, Eric won. Brian deep fried some gnocchi and they turned out terrible, but then Brother Luck didn't make a dish inspired by his cocktail so he was eliminated again, wasting everyone's time. (click for more)
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Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 1/16/19--"Buckle Up!" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: there were too many people on this show. Everyone had to make graduation outfits, based on tassels with two colors. Just as if you were an extra high school student and decided that under your cap and gown you would dress in your school colors. Anthony Ryan won, with royal blue lace pants and orange hot pants and crop top. Whatever. Sunny was eliminated for not using both colors. So just to make sure everyone knows, the judges declared with that elimination that following the challenge is more important that making a good outfit. (click for more)

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Thursday, January 10, 2019

Top Chef 1/10/19--"Roaring Munchies" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: the end of Restaurant Wars. As expected, Third Coast was a trash fire and everyone blamed Nini. I'm not sure what Justin could have done to help the situation, and apparently those “waiters” were caterers which mostly explains why no one understood table numbers, but apparently it wasn't much. Brian's super anal service manual and chicken ballotine gave him the win. Pablo cooked his proteins poorly, and the judges blamed Nini too, so those two were sent home. I think even if the FOH stuff wasn't totally Nini's fault, she did plan to spin ice cream to order during service, but she wasn't ever going to be back in the kitchen during service and I'm not sure she actually discussed this plan with her team. (click for more)
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Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 1/9/19--"Top of the Class" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: Six winners from original Project Runway and six from international Project Runway came together to be “inspired” by their “country of origin”. Whatever. Dmitry made a black dress with blue/green embroidery and his signature floating cutouts, and won. I didn't notice last week that he did cutouts like he often does, because it's been that long since I've seen him. Anya made one of her usual boring maxi dresses, and Anthony Ryan made a really weird disjointed dress. But of course, because these producers suck, no one is eliminated. Oh and here are two more contestants: Sean (the guy with the fringe) and Juli (from Australia). This is why I always say I hate this show. (click for more)
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Thursday, January 3, 2019

Top Chef 1/3/19--"Restaurant Wars Part 2" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: we had Restaurant Wars early, with three teams instead of two. Michelle won immunity during the Quickfire. Her team seems mostly OK? Kelsey and Nini's team was very cocky, but fell apart during prep. They were really behind, and it's implied that Nini was a terrible FOH and didn't train her servers. Brian wrote a whole service manual so he seemed to be the most well-prepared for service, even though he was behind on prep. Then Tom appeared and said it would be a double elimination, right before we got the To Be Continued. (click for more)
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Project Runway All Stars 1/3/19--"All Stars Goes Global" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: So this is the “all winners” season. Everyone is a winner of regular Project Runway. To make things interesting (or because not enough people wanted to return) we have winners from international editions of the show. I'm not that upset about that, for all my snide comments, because it means people we've never seen before, but who are familiar with the show and the work demands. I also saw a couple of ads for Heidi and Tim's new show, or casting for their new show anyway. So that's really happening. Anyway! Thanks for your patience and for returning to my blog and let's get started! (click for more)
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