Sunday, June 16, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 9, 6/12/19

Welcome to Leg 9! Last time, on You Shouldn’t Have U-Turned Us Because That Means We’ll Lose!, 7 teams continued racing through Switzerland. Teams faced a Double U-Turn, but had to vote for who they thought should take it. Colin and Christie and the Reilly sisters got U-Turned and Nic and Vic had a Speed Bump. Once the dust settled, Gaytube finished in first for the third leg in a row, and the Reilly sisters can’t recover from shooting an apple off of a scarecrow, so they are eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
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Thursday, June 13, 2019

Project Runway 6/13/19--"The Final Runway" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the final four returned to New York with their collections, and met Nina to have their last challenge. Nina went through each collection and asked each designer to make something specific that she felt was missing from their collection. There was a minimum of drama, even though Hester had sewn through her finger. Bishme wasn't finished with his collection when he arrived, and he had had a lot of personal stuff happen to him. His heart wasn't in it and he couldn't get it together so he was eliminated. I hope he finds the success he wants. (click for more)
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Saturday, June 8, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 8, 6/5/19

Welcome to Leg 8! Last time, on The U-Turn Is Coming! The U-Turn Is Coming!, 7 teams raced to Switzerland. Teams discussed the possible U-Turn and the Reilly Sisters created a toxic relationship with Nic and Vic. There was lots of jumping off of things, and in the end GayTube won the leg again and Nic and Vic finished last on the third and final non-elimination leg of the season. (Toyouke: “You know for all that drama and whatever, look at Elissa's face when Phil says it's a non-elim leg. She and Rachel are not happy.”) Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
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Thursday, June 6, 2019

Project Runway 6/6/19--"One Elle of a Day" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the last challenge before the finale. Everyone was asked to make an “experiential fashion show”. That means you get a (fake) room and you will need to decorate it, and make an outfit that goes with your room. It needs to be “bigger and bolder” than anything else you've made this season. Hester really struggled, but had a great room full of flowers. Her look just wasn't very good. Bishme did fine, as did Sebastian, after he had a breakdown and threatened to quit. But Sebastian's dress was great. Garo did the best job of both room and dress, though, and he won. Tessa decided to make a ceramics studio, and asked her model to make some clay pots and get clay on herself, but it was not enough. The judges said her look wasn't her, and it was still unfinished, and Tessa was sent home. I thought for sure they'd get rid of Hester's very niche and weird point of view, and keep Tessa's far more salable minimalism, but I guess the unfinished hems and arguing were too much. (click for more)
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Sunday, June 2, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 7, 5/29/19

Welcome to Leg 7! Last time, on I’m Stacking It!, 8 teams raced from Dubai to Kampala, Uganda. The Big Brother Alliance was put to the test as teams stacked wood, preserved fish and competed in the first (read: SECOND) Head to Head of the season. (Toyouke: “There was some speculation online that the reason they included this last Head-to-Head, even though no placements changed, was because the last two teams ran to the mat holding hands. And there was no way to explain how the last place team caught up otherwise. They could have just made them refilm it, but that does make some sense.”) In the end, GayTube won the leg and the BBMoms were eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
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TAR 31, Recap Leg 6, 5/22/19

Welcome to Leg 6! Last time, on The Amazing Race Is Awesome and Good!, 8 teams made their way to Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. The Reillys got lost and Rachel lost it. There were dinosaurs and tall buildings. Team Fun ended up in first and got Phil to freestyle with them. In the end it was Rachel and Elissa who finished last, but were not eliminated due to the second of three randomly placed non-elimination legs. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
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TAR 31, Recap Leg 5, 5/22/19

Welcome to Leg 5! Last time, on We Can’t Be Bothered To Show A Task That Created More Drama Than This Show Has Had in a While, 9 teams continued to wander about Vietnam. The Reilly sisters decided to create drama with the female Survivors culminating in a showdown at an unaired Head To Head. Colin and Christie came in first for the first time since their six first place finishes in TAR 5, showing that older does not necessarily mean weaker. And it’s the Survivors who are out and are extremely bitter about it. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
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Thursday, May 30, 2019

Project Runway 5/30/19--"The Art of Fashion" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: we had the usual makeover episode, with women who “keep the city moving”. Everyone at least tried to do what their clients wanted, except for Tessa, who told her client she wasn't going to get a pink girly dress and then laughed about it to the other designers. And then lied to Christian and the judges about how her client loves dark colors. The judges are at least tired of her arguing, but Jamall made a poorly constructed prom dress, and his client loved it but it wasn't “him”, so of course Jamall was sent home. Sebastian made a retro dress that was still modern and he won. (click for more)
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Friday, May 24, 2019

Project Runway 5/23/19--"New York City of Dreams" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: designers were asked to design a high fashion look for a cause they want to promote. Everyone had a cause to work on, although some of them didn't work for fashion looks. Tessa made a dress referring to her sexual assault, and it was weird because she alluded to it but didn't explain until an obvious producer-planted question on the runway. It just felt like someone decided to orchestrate that reveal for maximum emotion and it might be Tessa but it certainly could be the producers. Also everyone had to make T-shirts, but that was pretty low drama. Venny's shirt said “i have a name” and black and white. I think it was the best by far. Sadly his design had too many things going on, and was poorly made, so he was sent home. Sebastian made a gorgeous gown with different shades of skin tone, but he lost to Bishme, who was supporting Baltimore youth with a dress with sequined faces. (click for more)
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Thursday, May 16, 2019

Project Runway 5/16/19--"What Do You Care About?" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the designers were asked to create stagewear for Elton John. Imagine if Elton John asked you for a stagewear outfit at the height of his popularity. Guest judge was the costume designer for the upcoming biopic. Also the eliminated designers came back to help. That didn't even cause any drama, except for Sonia kind of acted like this was her design. But that was so minor. Bishme made an amazing denim jumpsuit with rhinestones, but lost to Garo and his silver jumpsuit and giant collar. The judges sent Lela home over Venny, for being mediocre. (click for more)
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Tuesday, May 14, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 4, 5/8/19

Welcome to Leg 4! Last time, on Who Needs to Practice . . . It’s Karaoke!, 9 teams zipped their way to Vietnam. The Big Brother teams formed an alliance, and Leo and Jamal finally succumbed to the pressure and started to struggle. In the end it was Bret and Chris who finished last, but were not eliminated due to the non-elimination leg. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more):
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Monday, May 13, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 3, 5/1/19

Welcome to Leg 3! Last time, on My Elephant Is Broken!, 10 teams raced to Laos. The double U-Turn sent Team Fun and Team YouTube to both tasks, and Becca was not happy with Rachel for doing so. The Afghanimals, after some hardships on the leg, finish first again, and Rupert and Laura manage to continue to be in last place and are eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more):
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Sunday, May 12, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 2, 4/24/19

Welcome to Leg 2! Last time, on Fifteen Minutes of Fame Wasn’t Quite Enough, 11 teams started Amazing Race 31, Reality Show Showdown! There was a romp in a giant sand sculpture and then a flight to Japan. The Afghanimals dominated and Team Rupert got lost in a park for two hours. In the end, Border Patrol Art and JJ couldn’t climb Mt. Fuji and were eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
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Friday, May 10, 2019

Project Runway 5/9/19--"The Stitch Is Back" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: Morena Baccarin showed up to tell the designers they needed to work in groups of three to make a capsule collection for a trip to Rio. So they have to both make swimwear and also match a client's style. Then Karlie and Nina weren't even on the runway, which kind of maybe explains what went down. You know Nina wouldn't tolerate this. So Hester made a swimsuit, which was sort of OK except the backside did not fit at all. It was way too large, so it was wrinkly, but it also gave her a wedgie. Not one word was spoken about this. Even Hester acknowledged it was jacked up, but the judges not only didn't mention it, they gave her the win. I know. When she got back to the Scrap Bin, Tessa flat out told her that her look sucked and then acted like she wasn't being petty. Renee tried to make pants in a new way but they were terrible and she was eliminated. (click for more)
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Thursday, May 2, 2019

Project Runway 5/2/19--"Blame It on Rio" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: everyone got a clear Lucite handbag from Brandon, with a random object inside. Each designer had to make an elegant design inspired by whatever was in the handbag they took. Tessa, sadly, declared several times that she did not want a plus-sized model. Tessa, you should have won the video game challenge but come on. To be perfectly fair, the two plus sized models (who aren't even plus sized, but have a deep front porch if you know what I mean) are the last two, so it's not like Tessa was alone in her opinion. Hester decided she was going to waste her immunity on a mermaid gown with pasties, because of course she did. Jamall was due for some personal growth so he draped his fabric instead of using muslin, so everyone (literally everyone) praised him for personal growth and he won. Even though his dress had weird pouches and draping. Sonia didn't have time to make everything she wanted, and the dress she did make was too boring, so she was eliminated. (click for more)
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Tuesday, April 30, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 1, 4/17/19

Welcome to Leg 1 of The Amazing Race 31! I was ready for the premiere at the end of May, so I was surprised when the first episode happened during Holy Week. Anyway, the Amazing Camera twists and turns through LA, and makes its way to the beaches. We end up in Hermosa Beach and as usual, to Phil, who is just hanging out. Phil wanders to Hermosa Beach Pier, the Starting Line for The Amazing Race 31. However, the teams are making their way to the beach, and these teams are here for a special Reality Television Showdown. It’s Big Brother vs. The Amazing Race vs. Survivor! (click for more)
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Friday, April 26, 2019

Project Runway 4/25/19--"Elegance is the New Black" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the designers were asked to design a video game character. But then everyone harped on how it shouldn't be a costume, even though that's literally what they're doing. And then they rewarded costumes. Some things never change, I guess. I mean Christian was asking everyone “but what does she do?” and demanding gimmicks. Tessa made a miller's daughter, complete with overalls that converted to an apron and a fake bag of flour. And let me tell you, I play Slime Rancher and the main character looks like Tessa's design. But they gave the win to Hester and her ribbons and jetpack. Venny made a weird Christian superhero, but Rakan made some folded leather top, and didn't listen to anyone (again) so Rakan was out. (click for more)
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Wednesday, April 24, 2019

TAR 31, Recap Leg 0, 4/10/19

Welcome back to the Amazing Race! It’s season number thirty-one, and the gimmick this season is a Battle of the CBS Reality Network Stars! Now, to be fair, I was anticipating this start after school had completed so I was completely caught off guard when this season was moved up to HOLY WEEK of all times to start a television show. (Toyouke: “I do not like that there are no individual team videos.”) That does make things difficult. Oh, and I brought Toyouke along for the snark. Aren’t you lucky? Since the teams of two were predetermined, and many are from the same reality show, we’ll be able to do this the way it should be, as in without watching the first episode. The eleven teams for TAR31 are (click for more):
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Friday, April 19, 2019

Project Runway 4/18/19--"Power Play" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: luxury streetwear. Not everyone was able to handle streetwear, but for some it was their wheelhouse. Also Dapper Dan came to comment on everything. Bishme won with a cool jacket that could be personalized. Kovid made something too boring, and was finally eliminated. (click for more)
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Thursday, April 11, 2019

Project Runway 4/11/19--"High Fashion to High Street" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: we had this season's unconventional materials challenge out in the woods. Everyone was supposed to make “survival chic” outfits out of camping supplies and leaves. Also camping, and also the runway was outside too. Several people made high fashion looks, but not “survivor” looks. Renee made a cargo jacket and hung pouches and whatnot off it, and she really did the best at meeting “survival” so she won. Afa was eliminated, for making a weird net skirt and I think because his model was cold and the judges fixated on that fact. (click for more)
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Friday, April 5, 2019

Project Runway 4/5/19--"Survive in Style" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: everyone had to make a head-to-toe look with a print. Of course some people don't use prints and kind of freaked out, but that's to be expected. Hester won, I guess because she doubted herself so she needed encouragement? I didn't mind her look, anyway. Nadine was upset she got one of the plus-sized models, then complained about her walk, then told the judges she couldn't make what she wanted because of her model. She was sent home, although she did say in her exit interview that she's not cut out for the show. And not everyone is cut out for reality television, so it's not like that's a huge failing on her part or anything. I just wish she could have made that decision and left without complaining a bunch so it seems like she hates fat people. You know? (click for more)

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Project Runway delay

Sorry guys, but I'm exhausted, and I can't get a recap up tonight. It's gonna have to wait until after work. It'll get there eventually. Thanks for waiting. Clicky clicky

Friday, March 29, 2019

Project Runway 3/28/19--"All the Rage" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the designers were divided into groups of three to design futuristic fashion to go with body modifications. Silicone prosthetics like shoulder horns and gills and whatever. Tessa got really bossy, but in the end her team's collection was cohesive, and she did give plenty of credit to her team. Especially Sebastian, who made part of her garment and his own garment. He ended up winning. Hester insisted on buying tulle (against the advice of Christian), then asked Nadine for fabric because she didn't want to use the tulle, then decided to use the tulle anyway, after cutting up all the other fabric. But the team of Renee, Kovid, and Frankie ended up on the bottom, mainly because Kovid and Frankie had unfinished looks. Frankie couldn't recover from being in the bottom twice in the first two episodes and was sent home. (click for more)
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Thursday, March 28, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 3/27/19--"All the World's a Runway" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: the final four designers were asked to create three looks for a family portrait. No one complained about having to make clothes for children or for men which was nice. Anne straight up told everyone not to care about their clients, which was rude, and then she was the guest judge which I thought was suspicious. But probably someone canceled last minute and she filled in. Isaac and Georgina continued to praise Dmitry for the same techniques, as they have been doing all season, because making the same dress over and over is the sign of “a really good designer”. Then Anne said it was hard to judge because no one pleased their clients. In the end Biddell won, and then I guess they couldn't agree on who to get rid of because everyone was being irrational so no one was eliminated. (click for more)
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Friday, March 22, 2019

Project Runway 3/21/19--"The Future is Here" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: new season, new host, new judges, new workroom, new mentor. Everyone had to bring a piece from their last collection to show who they are, and then they had to be inspired by a personal photo shown to them by one of the judges. They also had to take a social media pic for public voting. AND the Scrap Bin has a TV so you can watch the judging. Renee and Vinny did well, but Tessa won with a long tunic and pants with strap and button details. Frankie tried to make a bathing suit, but she ran out of fabric and it looked a mess. However, Cavanagh completely failed at making her tweed jacket, blamed it on the model being too big, and then just sent down a black top and skirt that were super basic. And then even though Cavanagh had many bitchy confessionals and seemed poised to be the villain of the season, she was sent home for being boring! And they saved Frankie who is a sweetheart! Guys remember when this show was good? I think we might be back there again. (click for more)
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Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 3/20/19--"Modern Families" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: Nina arrived to tell everyone they had to make a gown for “a royal ball” and use silk. Everyone tried to be modern, except that a royal ball is very formal and modern is generally frowned upon. Look at the rules surrounding the British royal family, and those are for random events! Not even for formal occasions. Anyway, Irina won, even though she basically made a corset and then a ball gown out of tulle with some ribbons. There is no way you would basically be half naked at a royal ball. Michelle and Anthony Ryan did a ton of whining about how they don't do gowns, but in the end Michelle made an appliqued maxi dress in orange and red and hot pink, and Anthony Ryan made a caftan in yellow and blue. Imagine that caftan with maybe fewer feathers and on a pregnant socialite. Right? So of course Anthony Ryan was sent home, even though his dress was an actual functional dress and didn't look like he spent an hour making it. Regular “Project Runway” on Bravo is really highlighting the random-ass decisions on this show. (click for more)
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Friday, March 15, 2019

Top Chef 3/14/19--"Finale" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: Padma made everyone make a dish with durian. Also apparently Padma hates durian. Michelle won an extra hour to cook for the Elimination Challenge, which was to “look to your own heritage” but use Chinese ingredients. Family members were on hand to provide support. Sara made matzo ball soup with Chinese flavors, which is a good idea, even though I still don't like her. She won, and made the finale with Kelsey and Eric. Sadly Michelle didn't use enough Chinese flavors, and she was eliminated. (click for more)
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Project Runway 3/14/19--"First Impressions" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: well it was a very long time ago. And on another network. And it had Heidi and Tim. Project Runway has moved back to Bravo, with a new model and a new mentor and new judges except for Nina. (click for more)
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Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 3/13/19--"Nina Says Don't Cry Over Spilt Silk" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: all the designers pretended to be weatherpeople so we could pay some lip service to climate change and make “transformational resortwear”. Basically everyone got two weather “conditions” and their garments had to adapt to both. I put it in quotes because the assignments were uneven: sun and snow makes sense, but thunderstorms and wind are basically the same thing. Anyway, Michelle made a jumpsuit and a skirt that turned into a sloppy jacket, and she won. Christina made a swimsuit and a kimono coverup, but her transformation was to tie a sash around the coverup, plus it was something you could buy right now, so she was sent home. (click for more)
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Thursday, March 7, 2019

Top Chef 3/7/19--"The Tao of Macau" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: we began the finale in Macau, in the local market. Graham was here to help the contestants navigate and also to tell everyone how he has a restaurant here. We did not go to his restaurant. Obviously the Quickfire is to cook something with ingredients from the market. Michelle won with cuttlefish noodles. The Elimination Challenge asked the chefs to make a dish for a New Year's party. It must include pork, because it's the Year of the Pig. Also some eliminated contestants showed up with ingredients that represent different ideals like health and happiness. So everyone had to use whichever ingredients they got there also. Kelsey decided the night before not to use pork belly in her dish, but it didn't hurt her and her broth won. Adrienne made a canape, which sounded like it probably tasted good, but the judges weren't impressed (and they thought it was stingy) so she was eliminated. (click for more)
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Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 3/6/19--"Climate Quick Change" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: The designers were asked to create gender neutral high fashion streetwear. This meant that five out of the remaining seven designers made boxy, oversized coats. I guess Dmitry made a trench coat that wasn't a box but it's still a coat. Then the judges got excited about the coats so I guess that's what they have decided gender neutral means. Also there was some stupid drama with Irina using Christina's sewing machine to make personal items, and then not moving because the whole drama with sewing machines has always been stupid, and then Christina taking Michelle's machine and then no one blaming Christina for her part in this stupid argument. Michelle and friends were on social media last week bitching about how Irina is mean because they can't let this go. Anyway, Christina won, and while she did have an oversized coat, I guess it wasn't box shaped. Sean made an interesting outfit that was NOT a coat but had pinstripes so Isaac said it was old and cliché and boring so Sean went home. (click for more)
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Thursday, February 28, 2019

Top Chef 2/28/19--"Holy Macau!" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: remember those gardens everyone planted? They all had to make something from their gardens for the Quickfire, which Justin won. Then each contestant had to come up with a dish that was a thank you to their mentor, who would also be at dinner. Also there was an auction but it was very boring. Sara won, and her food looks good, I just don't like Sara herself. Justin made a duo and plated his fish duo five minutes early, which ruined it, and then Tom hates duos so Justin was eliminated. (click for more)
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Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 2/27/19--"All-Inclusive" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: we had a whole episode about JC Penney even though JC Penney has ended their contract with Project Runway and won't produce their clothes or anything. So it's not clear if they even gave out the cash prize for winning the challenge. Anyway, everyone had to pick out three pieces and then cut them up and make an nighttime look. What does “nighttime look” mean? No one knows of course. Biddell won, even though his model looked like she was wearing one of those glider suits like she's BASE jumping. Cynthia made a dress that wasn't particularly “nighttime” and then put an ugly long vest over it so she was sent home.
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Thursday, February 21, 2019

Top Chef 2/21/19--"Kentucky Farewell" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: we finally mentioned KFC and had everyone make fried chicken for the Quickfire. First, though, everyone had to identify herbs and spices while blindfolded. Sadly Sara bragged about how great she'd be at this and then she was actually good at it. Justin couldn't even get salt. Sara won, although she didn't win immunity or any advantage. The Elimination challenge was to make a dish for a progressive dinner honoring Muhammad Ali. Each person got a dossier about one of Ali's fights, and had to “be inspired” while also working together enough to make some kind of cohesive dinner. Sara raised a stink about getting the fight that was in Kentucky, because suddenly she doesn't want to do it just because it's in Kentucky. But tough, because she does (and then lies about how she's fine with it). Eric won by making African cuisine, and he's emotional about it. Eddie had trouble when they're supposed to be inspired by things, and once again he made a sort of lackluster dish with lackluster inspiration and he's eliminated. (click for more)
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Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 2/20/19--"Penneys from Heaven" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: the challenge was to involve “innovation” to make some avant garde garments. Anthony Ryan covered a coat in clear vinyl so you could write on it with dry erase markers. I mean, sure, that's innovative. So he won. Django barely tried and made a white linen pantsuit with a big hat. Sean failed too, but he at least tried to do something innovative, so Sean was saved while Django was eliminated. (click for more)
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Thursday, February 14, 2019

Top Chef 2/14/19--"The Greatest" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: the Quickfire involved bullion cubes. Sure. Eddie won, somehow, and as a prize he got immunity and didn't have to participate in the Elimination challenge. Which was to go to a basketball stadium and compete in teams. Sara and Adrienne both made chicken and waffles, and Sara bought boxed waffle mix. This was not looked on well by Tom and sundry, and caused the most drama we've seen all season. Eric and Justin took the opportunity to get the crowd to chant against Sara, and then couldn't read the room and kept making jokes in the Stew Room when it was clear Sara didn't think it was a joke. Sara was mad that they'd even bring it up, which is ridiculous because Tom already knew about it. Also you know she'd whip up the crowd if the situation was reversed. Anyway, Eric won by making chicken wing lollipops, but his whole team (him, Justin, and Adrienne) each won $5,000. While Sara rightfully got shit for using box waffle mix and having soggy waffles, Michelle had soggy ribs and pickles that needed more acidity ( the whole point of pickles) and so Michelle was eliminated. (click for more)
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Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 2/13/19--"Pure Imagination" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: the designers were asked to make red carpet looks using metallics. Sean won, by making a skirt out of fringe. You forgot he did fringe, didn't you. The jacket had an origami thing happening so it wasn't all fringe. Anya was behind and had to have people help her sew her look, but then it was still terrible. And she was eliminated. (click for more)
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Thursday, February 7, 2019

Top Chef 2/7/19--"Hoop Dreams" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: we went to Nashville because I guess Kentucky isn't actually as great as everyone was claiming. Anyway, there was a Quickfire that involved the Grand Ole Opry and cooking from a rider. Adrienne won, even though she was still sick. The Elimination challenge was to make a dish based on a music memory. Michelle got emotional and won. I'm not saying she won because she was the most emotional, but I think the judges were moved and also her dish was really good so that was that. David was sent home, for oversalting everything. Kelsey oversalted everything too, but she I guess had “recognizable” food, instead of clam salad which Tom decided he was confused by? We all know salad greens and chicken and croutons are not chicken pot pie, but fine. (click for more)
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Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 2/6/19--"Pedal to the Metal" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: the designers were supposed to be inspired by animals to make an outfit for a night out. Basically that meant make something that doesn't look terrible and have some kind of connection to an animal. They were not super strict about the challenge theme. There was some very dumb drama about how Michelle made a dress with sheer strips and floating panels, like Dmitry always makes. The producers were unable to find any clips or shots where Dmitry gave a shit about this. Irina and Anthony Ryan gossiped about it to different people, and Michelle got stupidly “offended” about how supposedly people were talking behind her back, but Dmitry acted like he couldn't be bothered to pretend it mattered. So of course Michelle won. Juli made a boring little black dress and then spiced it up with off-white ruffled panels on her model's hips for some reason, so she was sent home. (click for more)
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Thursday, January 31, 2019

Top Chef 1/31/19--"Music City USA" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: no Quickfire, but the Elimination challenge was to get into two teams and throw a party on a houseboat on the lake. Eddie got to pick teams, and took the extra person since there were an odd number of people left. He took the more introverted people who wanted a “classier” party. Adrienne spent most of the episode sick, and there was briefly some drama with a loss of power but in the end, it didn't affect much. Kelsey won, and her team got 79 votes out of 100 which is a pretty substantial landslide. Kelsey's oysters and her puppy chow party favors gave her the win. Meanwhile, Brian decided to get into the hot tub with his shoes on, to be “fun”, but then cooked his porchetta so poorly he was eliminated. (click for more)
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Project Runway All Stars 1/30/19--"On the Prowl" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: we pretended that corsets celebrate a woman's figure, because sure. Everyone got a corset they had to incorporate into a garment. I feel that “All Stars” should have to construct their own corsets from scratch, but as we all know they don't ask for my opinion even though they should. Christina made wings over her model's hips and a latticework skirt and she won. I didn't really like her look, but in terms of “we're going to sell your look online” it was simple enough for that, I guess. Jasper did some weird thing with his pants, and some poorly-arranged lace, and was sent home. (click for more)
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Thursday, January 24, 2019

Top Chef 1/24/19--"Whatever Floats Your Boat" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: the Quickfire involved making a spin on the Kentucky Hot Brown, meaning you had to make a hot sandwich-style dish with turkey and some kind of sauce. Justin won with a maple Mornay sauce and fried turkey, which sounded amazing. The Elimination challenge involved beef primal cuts and beef, basically. The secret requirement was apparently just huge cuts of meat, cooked simply. That's what the judges actually wanted, and no one really made that, so everyone was disappointed. Eddie won, with cabbage rolls, basically. I mean, I'm not saying I don't think he should have won, because I'm not upset about it. But they nailed a bunch of people for not making giant steaks and bones and whatever, and they had to feed the whole restaurant so maybe make it clearer that you just want beef? Instead of that being the secret requirement you bust everyone for? Anyway, Brandon made beef tartare with some weird sauce that was too thick, so he was sent home. (click for more)
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Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 1/23/19--"Of Corsets Fashion" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: the unconventional materials challenge involved Southwest Airlines, so of course there were seatbelts, and ticket jackets, and random plastic. Irina won by making a dress out of the circular bottoms of paper cups. Seth Aaron tried to make a dress out of seat belts but it had a terrible silhouette so he was eliminated. (click for more)
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Thursday, January 17, 2019

Top Chef 1/17/19--"Carne!" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: so we had a competition for Last Chance Kitchen, where Nini and Brother Luck competed to come back to the competition. Nini made a couple more mistakes so in the end, Brother Luck returned to the show. I wasn't that surprised. The Elimination challenge was to make a canape inspired by a Prohibition-era cocktail. Eric made an oyster dish, which is not a canape, but not very many people made actual canapes so I guess that wasn't that important. Anyway, Eric won. Brian deep fried some gnocchi and they turned out terrible, but then Brother Luck didn't make a dish inspired by his cocktail so he was eliminated again, wasting everyone's time. (click for more)
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Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 1/16/19--"Buckle Up!" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: there were too many people on this show. Everyone had to make graduation outfits, based on tassels with two colors. Just as if you were an extra high school student and decided that under your cap and gown you would dress in your school colors. Anthony Ryan won, with royal blue lace pants and orange hot pants and crop top. Whatever. Sunny was eliminated for not using both colors. So just to make sure everyone knows, the judges declared with that elimination that following the challenge is more important that making a good outfit. (click for more)

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Thursday, January 10, 2019

Top Chef 1/10/19--"Roaring Munchies" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: the end of Restaurant Wars. As expected, Third Coast was a trash fire and everyone blamed Nini. I'm not sure what Justin could have done to help the situation, and apparently those “waiters” were caterers which mostly explains why no one understood table numbers, but apparently it wasn't much. Brian's super anal service manual and chicken ballotine gave him the win. Pablo cooked his proteins poorly, and the judges blamed Nini too, so those two were sent home. I think even if the FOH stuff wasn't totally Nini's fault, she did plan to spin ice cream to order during service, but she wasn't ever going to be back in the kitchen during service and I'm not sure she actually discussed this plan with her team. (click for more)
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Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Project Runway All Stars 1/9/19--"Top of the Class" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: Six winners from original Project Runway and six from international Project Runway came together to be “inspired” by their “country of origin”. Whatever. Dmitry made a black dress with blue/green embroidery and his signature floating cutouts, and won. I didn't notice last week that he did cutouts like he often does, because it's been that long since I've seen him. Anya made one of her usual boring maxi dresses, and Anthony Ryan made a really weird disjointed dress. But of course, because these producers suck, no one is eliminated. Oh and here are two more contestants: Sean (the guy with the fringe) and Juli (from Australia). This is why I always say I hate this show. (click for more)
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Thursday, January 3, 2019

Top Chef 1/3/19--"Restaurant Wars Part 2" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: we had Restaurant Wars early, with three teams instead of two. Michelle won immunity during the Quickfire. Her team seems mostly OK? Kelsey and Nini's team was very cocky, but fell apart during prep. They were really behind, and it's implied that Nini was a terrible FOH and didn't train her servers. Brian wrote a whole service manual so he seemed to be the most well-prepared for service, even though he was behind on prep. Then Tom appeared and said it would be a double elimination, right before we got the To Be Continued. (click for more)
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Project Runway All Stars 1/3/19--"All Stars Goes Global" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: So this is the “all winners” season. Everyone is a winner of regular Project Runway. To make things interesting (or because not enough people wanted to return) we have winners from international editions of the show. I'm not that upset about that, for all my snide comments, because it means people we've never seen before, but who are familiar with the show and the work demands. I also saw a couple of ads for Heidi and Tim's new show, or casting for their new show anyway. So that's really happening. Anyway! Thanks for your patience and for returning to my blog and let's get started! (click for more)
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