Top Chef 1/24/19--"Whatever Floats Your Boat" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: the Quickfire involved making a spin on the Kentucky Hot Brown, meaning you had to make a hot sandwich-style dish with turkey and some kind of sauce. Justin won with a maple Mornay sauce and fried turkey, which sounded amazing. The Elimination challenge involved beef primal cuts and beef, basically. The secret requirement was apparently just huge cuts of meat, cooked simply. That's what the judges actually wanted, and no one really made that, so everyone was disappointed. Eddie won, with cabbage rolls, basically. I mean, I'm not saying I don't think he should have won, because I'm not upset about it. But they nailed a bunch of people for not making giant steaks and bones and whatever, and they had to feed the whole restaurant so maybe make it clearer that you just want beef? Instead of that being the secret requirement you bust everyone for? Anyway, Brandon made beef tartare with some weird sauce that was too thick, so he was sent home. (click for more)

On Last Chance Kitchen, Tom asked Pablo and Brandon to cook with slimy foods, so as to convince him that slimy foods weren't automatically terrible. Pablo made a dish with jellyfish, but Brandon made yam noodles that Tom actually liked, so Brandon moved forward.

Kelsey complains it's the worst day any of them have ever had. Whatever, Kelsey. Eddie is finally not freaking out about things. Brian says if he doesn't mind, he'll just sleep with Eddie and come along to Italy on his stage. Padma appears in the Stew Room right away to tell them they're going to Lake Cumberland to “relax”. Sara grew up on the lake. For the Elimination Challenge, they'll be split into two teams to throw a party for 100 other lake guests. Eddie gets to pick his team first, because he won last week, and since there's an odd number of people, he also gets to decide if he gets the odd person or not. He takes Adrienne, Michelle, David, and Brian. Winner of the challenge gets to go to BMW school? One of those performance driving schools.

In the morning everyone packs and also people take time to work on menus. Kelsey and Eric argue briefly about oysters. They also want to make jello shots. Michelle says they're more “reserved and mature” than the other team so maybe throwing a party is difficult. Brian wants to prove he can cook meat after last week. Eddie and Justin discuss how Eddie is probably freaking out and Brian is probably overthinking his dish. Kelsey brags that her catering philosophy is to keep everything simple because something will go wrong. Her team is also buying toys. Brian says his team is throwing a “soiree” and the other team is throwing a “kegger”. You know, Padma didn't say which one you should be doing. However over here in Missouri “party at the lake” definitely has more of a “kegger” feel.

They get to the lake finally. Adrienne is lying down in the car because she hasn't felt right all day. Sara tells us she's thrown great parties in her day, mainly involving taking her shirt off and running around. This party involves “Below Deck” which is a show I have never seen. The boats are nice, but the kitchens aren't great of course. They look like typical house kitchens, which are great compared to an average kitchen on a boat, but not great for 4 or 5 people to throw a party for 100. They will have to decorate the boats also. Eric and Justin yell “I'm on a boat!!” which I love. Lonely Island, guys. I may have gone on a ferry tour in New York this past summer which resulted in my texting my sister “I'M ON A BOAT” and forgetting that it was 6am where she was.

Prep starts. It looks like people aren't having a ton of trouble with finding space. David has dumplings to make. Their team suddenly loses power, which means their stove doesn't work. That is terrible. It also reminds me of the episode where one of the fridges failed, so two people lost their food, and Tom said the judges decided immediately they wouldn't eliminate anyone because it wasn't fair. So keep that in mind. So Eddie's team is left with two induction burners and a convection oven, which is not ideal. Justin nearly burns himself on the grill. Eddie's team gets a generator, at 9pm. The caption says “14 hours until service” so I guess they're working all night? Brian is making brine over sterno cans, which is working somehow. Kelsey appears on the other boat, for no reason, so she can make some comment about how this is her wedding catering setup, but also to offer to let everyone use the other kitchen.

Tom Time! And he brings Emeril, so people can freak out a bit. Kelsey's team is making seafood dishes and jello shots. Eddie's team is weirdly calm. Almost too low energy. David and Tom bond over some club in Jersey. Eric talks about how his parents were from Ghana and once his dad returned $10,000 to someone that was in his cab, and he loves that integrity. David says surely they'll get power sometime, because they have like 12 hours, and they just need to keep Eddie from jumping off the boat. Heh. Brian absolutely needs to roast his pork loin in the oven and it needs to go in by 2am. There are two guys working on the boat, so hopefully they can get it fixed. Kelsey is making paper bags with granola or something? Snacks. Sara makes jello shots with Maker's Mark and sweet tea and they all sample it. Adrienne is now freezing and looks terrible. She says she needs to lie down for an hour. Kelsey's team, meanwhile, is planning to all go to bed at midnight. The plan is to sleep for an hour. Eddie's team gets power at like 12:30am so they kick into overdrive.

Adrienne is still sick at 6am, and she says she doesn't think she can serve. They don't want anyone to get sick, after all, but this sucks. Eddie is going to pick up her dish, and everyone reshuffles. Kelsey puts all her oyster shells in the dishwasher so they'll get super clean. Brian hasn't slept, and apparently he's decided to serve people from the hot tub, which he is standing in with shoes and socks on. Why.

Guests arrive and are loud. It's a lake party, although these people seem like a higher class of person than Lake of the Ozark people. Eric is upset he can't keep his fryer at the right temperature, because it keeps shutting off. Kelsey's team's guests seem rowdier.

Kelsey: oyster with cocktail sauce, lemon juice, hot sauce, horseradish, and pickled watermelon rind. Justin: watermelon salad with tequila marinated shrimp and basil croutons. Also Kelsey: “Key Lime Crunch”--cereal with white chocolate, coconut, banana, and key lime. It's like puppy chow, I guess.

David: seafood dumpling with scallops, black bass, caramelized onions, and spiced coconut broth. Sara: shrimp roll with trinity, tarragon, parsley, and Meyer lemon zest on a brioche roll. Like a lobster roll. Sorry but they're jumping between teams. Eric apologizes but they don't have his dish right now because the power has gone out. He has to fry in the kitchen.

Brian tells the judges he's serving in the hot tub because he thought it would be funny. Brian: South Pacific-style porchetta with papaya, peanut, and cilantro salad. Tom complains that the belly has separated from the loin, and Brian says he tied it too tightly so when he wanted it to get crispy it unrolled? Because he had to untie it? I'm not sure but it sounds like he failed. Eric: beer battered fried walleye with West Indies escabeche sauce. Escabeche is a vinegar and paprika based sauce. Green team: “Jiggle Juice”--gelatin shot with peach mint black tea and bourbon. Padma makes a face like she wants to spit it out.

Adrienne: grilled salmon tacos, corn salad, chipotle aioli, and red cabbage slaw with chimichurri. Eddie: poached shrimp with herb aioli, prosciutto, and fresh horseradish. Michelle: potato chip crusted Kentucky bass with onion dip sauce. Eddie does explain to the judges how Adrienne is not feeling well. The judges switch boats so they can try the other team's food. Consensus is that the energy is higher on Kelsey's team's boat. Some random guest says that they've got the better party, but Eddie's team has better food. Kelsey's whole team goes swimming.

Judges' Table. Overall everyone did a good job. Adrienne actually leaves Judges' Table to go sit down. She really looks like she might pass out. Kelsey's team has won with 79 votes. Jeez. That's really lopsided. Justin's watermelon salad was a great party dish. Kelsey kept her oysters cold which is important. Plus they loved that she made the puppy chow cereal thing. Sara's shrimp roll was delicious, and Eric recovered from his technical difficulties. No one mentions the jello shots. The winner is Kelsey. She says it's her first win, and she throws parties for a living so she feels she won for being herself.

Eddie is back to being miserable. His team talks about losing power, but David tells them it wasn't an issue. Michelle's dish was cold, and Tom was about to let it slide, but Eric's fried fish was hot. Emeril's portion was hot though. Eddie's shrimp was on a stick, because party? Food on a stick? It was bland and rubbery. Oops. Adrienne's dish turned out well, so they do give Eddie credit for executing her dish. David's dumpling soup didn't go over well, and he probably should have just made pot stickers. Brian talks about how his porchetta stayed together when he was cooking it. Tom didn't like that it was brined, because it turned out ham-like. It was maybe too tropical to be “porchetta”.

Brian thinks he had the most fun, I guess because he stood in the hot tub for two hours. Sara says they were told to throw the best party and they took that seriously. Kelsey's team had more energy. Eddie's shrimp was just sitting out, and Tom wanted him to grill it to order or something. Michelle's dish should have been hotter. Brian sort of messed up calling his dish porchetta but it also fell apart so it would have been a problem anyway. David made a soup and dumplings and they're mad it was hot? Too hot for soup? Something. Downstairs Brian whines that he stayed up all night and no one stood up for him. Michelle quite correctly asks what that has to do with anything, and he just says his food was beautiful. She says it was ham-like, and it's fun to do takes on things but today it didn't work.

Tom talks about details, and then Brian is sent home. The pork wasn't cooked properly. He's not that happy, and he takes things seriously. He's proud of how he competed. Once he leaves, Padma tells everyone else to get some sleep because tomorrow they're going to Nashville. Which is not in Kentucky.

Next week: some musicians, Michelle gets some screen time and everyone cries.

Last Chance Kitchen: Brian is super embarrassed. He wants to get back to the kitchen. Brandon says he and Brian have a continuous battle happening. Tom fills Brandon in on the porchetta. He just failed at cooking. Brian says as long as they don't have to cook on a boat. He and Brandon have a dual confessional where they gently rib each other. A table comes out with things like pork ears, feet, tail. You need to cook these things for a long time, so Tom gives them an hour. It's still not enough time, but it's better than usual.

You will note Kevin is not wearing a jumpsuit, per last week's commentary. Brandon grabs a whole bunch of things, while Brian has pigs' ears and tail. Brandon wants to make a pulled pork sandwich. Brandon then tries to ask Brian what happened on the last challenge, and Brandon is like “Do you not remember? Oh, right, you weren't there.” Brian makes puttanesca, and then makes some comment about who will rub Vaseline on his bottom later? What? I mean, it's funny, but what? The peanut gallery mentions no one's hair is moving. Heh. Brian also tells us puttanesca is a spicy tomato sauce that translates to “spicy woman”. Brian. It translates to “prostitute” because prostitutes were only allowed to go to market once a week so the “proper women” didn't have to see them. So they bought things that would keep for a week. I can't find support for that part but it does mean prostitute.

Tom Time! Brian is not totally confident but he's glad to have an hour. Both he and Brandon are making crispy pigs ears and using the pressure cookers. Brian seems to be afraid of his pressure cooker. 15 minutes to go, and I think his ears are cooked through. Brandon adds weird chemicals to his sauce so everyone gives him shit about xanthan gum. He's trying to get meat off the bones in the tail, and it's piping hot and he can't handle it and the bones are small. Brian says that for cooking, longer would have been better, and Brandon mutters a “that's what she said”. When it's over Kevin calls it the peanut gallery which makes me happy.

Brian: pig tail puttanesca with mussels and crispy pig ears. He tries to find out from Tom if it's any good, and Tom is unhelpful except for the comment “We haven't dinged you for seasoning, have we?” Brian: pig trotter and pig tail crostini with celery salad and crispy pig ears with pimenton aioli. Pimenton I think is like paprika. Tom says these were some of the better dishes he's had this season. He hates to eliminate one of them with such a good dish, but he's going to give the win to the dish that used the product on the table better, and that's Brandon. Huh. Brian didn't play up the ears as much as he could have. Brian's not thrilled, of course. I'm kind of surprised because I didn't think Brandon was this great.