90 Day Fiance--"Couples Tell All pt. 1" summary s6e12

Previously on “90 Day Fiance”: It's time for the reunion episodes which apparently are just as drama filled as the regular show. (click for more)

In the interest of not losing my mind I'm not going to recap verbatim. Or at least not as much as I had tried with the regular show. I might not be successful in that but we'll see.

Ashley and Jay arrive. They still don't get along. Whoever is subtitling Jay needs to get their shit together because he says something is hanging on by a thin thread, and they put “tread”. We all know what he meant. Feels a little racist for the editors and producers to all act like he meant “tread”. Also I'm not sure how much time has passed since the end of the show. Ashley doesn't want to answer questions, and she hopes everyone rides Jay's ass for the shit he's done. I'm sure they are all required to show up for this, because it's in contracts, but I wonder if they could get out of it. Leida says they're still having a hard time dealing with Tasha, so she hopes no one asks about it. Sigh. Eric hopes they don't ask too many questions. Listen, I get not wanting to have all your dirty laundry aired on TV, but don't make these people act like they don't know exactly what questions they're going to be asked. As if no one is going to try to cause drama. They can't really be this stupid. Ashley also tells us that she has questions for Leida, specifically about how she's treated Eric's children. Ashley wisely kept her own kids off the show, so I always forget she has them. Steven shows up by himself, because his stupid ass fucked up Olga's visa. I think she is going to be on satellite.

Kalani says Asuelu has been stepping up and helping. The baby isn't here, and she doesn't really look pregnant, so I guess it's pretty close to the end of the show? Asuelu doesn't have questions for anyone else, because I think he's attempting to mind his own business. Fernanda says she and Jonathan struggle with marriage but they're good. She doesn't want to remember anything bad because she'll get mad again. Steven asks the room if anyone thinks Colt and Larissa will even be allowed in the building, considering she's been arrested. Fernanda has already had a fight with Larissa on social media, and she claims she commented on a picture and Larissa just went off on her. Probably was waiting for the excuse, she thinks. So Fernanda's opinion is that Larissa should go back to Brazil, and everyone acts shocked as if they don't all have strong opinions about everyone else.

There is a behind the scenes “secret” shot of a producer telling the host that they haven't heard anything about Colt and Larissa, so they're just going to start without them. I feel like this means they were expecting them? I'm not sure if they're running late, or what, but if they were and they were communicating with producers wouldn't they wait? Or is this all drama, purposely starting without them so they can walk into the viper's nest? But surely if they were told not to come, or Larissa couldn't come, they'd say so and not have to tell the host they don't know where they are. Also some random producer or PA tells everyone this is going to be fun and have fun. Uh huh.

First off, the very sweet thing is that when everyone notices the monitor with Olga on it, they all smile and wave and are happy to see her. Aww. Our host is Shaun Robinson. First of all this woman is 57 and looks 40 at most. I guess she's a journalist. She tells everyone that Colt and Larissa are not here, and they've been dealing with “legal and personal matters”. Maybe they'll come, but they're not sure if they'll make it. Already we've commented on Kalani's new baby and how Jay and Ashley maybe aren't together. Awkward.

Montage to the first episodes, which of course means we have to remind everyone of how they used to love each other. And they have a clip from Colt and Larissa so they can show shots of the other couples looking really pissed. Ashley looks especially mad, but she might have been anticipating the clip of her and Jay.

Kalani says they had a whirlwind romance and just fell in love hard. Asuelu is already crying. He talks about when she left and he thought he might not see her again. He knew that life would be better in America so he wanted to come here. Fernanda admits it took a year and a half to get her visa. She was worried about leaving her family, but they made it. Of course we have to ask Ashley what she's feeling, because she's the only one not happy. She wishes she could go back to when she trusted Jay. It was a good time then. “Do you not trust Jay now?” What kind of dumbass question is that? The man made a Tinder account the day they got back from their wedding. Of course she doesn't trust him. Shaun tries to stir up shit but Jay says he wouldn't trust himself either. He messed up and he's trying to make it up to her. What can Jay do to fix this? Once you've lost trust it's just gone and there's nothing Jay can do. I mean that's a topic for couple's therapy.

Montage of everyone's doubts. Like Asuelu asking Kalani if her family is going to hate him forever. Oh, and Steven's stupid ass when he picked a fight with Olga for no reason. They leave out how he was a total ass. The last clip is of Leida saying she doesn't know if she's going to go through with the wedding. She claims it was because she has no experience with stepkids. I mean most people don't? Side note: I think she put purple contacts in. Anyway, she's talking about how stepkids fight you when you tell them things, and Stephen is nodding and agreeing but no one else looks like they are on her side. She doesn't think 90 days isn't enough time, but no one does. I don't think so either. Jay says if he could have come and not gotten married, he still would have come to be with Ashley, and then they could have gotten married when they were ready. Ashley says she wouldn't have gotten married in 90 days if she didn't have to, and then tells Jay he's lucky he had 90 days because it took him 93 to fuck up. Ouch. Even Shaun looks uncomfortable. Jay says he doesn't regret getting married young, and Steven (who is the same age) agrees, saying if he didn't have a kid he would never have thought about settling down. Jay says he never saw himself getting married, and Ashley has to add that he did make that decision, so it's on him to not fuck it up or whatever. I totally get why she's pissed, I mean I would also be pissed, and to be fair in her position I'd be sniping at him as much as possible, just like she's doing. But damn, it is uncomfortable for everyone else.

OK so now we need a montage of Ashley and Jay. Specifically her recapping what happened and how she feels so stupid. Everyone just sits there after the clip ends, and then Fernanda asks Jay what he was thinking. It was just a mistake, he would never have had people over to the house. But you just got married. Ashley brings up again that they were doing well, and how do you act like this when things are going well? Then Shaun is like, Ashley, you thought you were doing well and you've run from two engagements so let's talk about that. Yes, let's, because the story changes from “Ashley has been cheated on in every relationship she's ever been in, including two engagements” to “Ashley runs from engagements” and those two things are very different. But the story changes depending on what serves the storyline of the moment. Ashley does not clarify but just says that Jay had her fooled. Jay asks if that means she's saying he doesn't love her right now, it was a misunderstanding. You don't “misunderstand” downloading Tinder and making a profile. Jay asks to talk, and he says he would love to go back and fix it. Don't act like he's not trying? Ashley interrupts him so I'm not sure, just so she can say he fucked up so take it on the chin and don't try to defend yourself because you sound like an idiot. Fernanda looks uncomfortable but also like she likes the drama, you know? Jay swears his mistake was messaging people, instead of the far more obvious mistake of making an account on Tinder when your marriage was three days old. Jonathan and Fernanda are ganging up on him too. Ashley is on her phone all the time, and Tinder said you could meet friends! Uh huh.

Ashley says she doesn't know why she's still with Jay. She isn't prepared to make the decision to send him back to Jamaica, because if she does he can never come back here and it's so permanent she's hesitant to do it. She has no plans to file for Jay's “adjustment of status” any time soon. I think this is the paperwork you need to file so your spouse can get their permanent green card. She refuses to be responsible for him for the next ten years, when he doesn't even respect her. They don't know where they'll go from there. Jay, can you be monogamous? The pause is too long, and then he says he doesn't know. Leida is making giant faces like she can't believe he said that, and then Kalani of all people asks if he knows what “monogamous” means. Jay, in almost the same breath, asks what the fuck “monogamous” means, so everyone kind of talks and there's some release of tension. Once it's been explained, he says of course he can. It was just a mistake. Shaun asks if he can promise to be faithful, but she includes “not trying to be friends with women” in there and I think you can be friends with the opposite gender (or the gender you're attracted to, or however) and not try to sleep with them. Jay tells everyone that's what he's doing, Ashley can go through his phone at any time, and that's the only thing he can do to prove it to her that he's not doing anything. Ashley is not having it so she basically talks over him that she's not his babysitter and I guess it's not good enough to have access to his phone because the trust is gone. I mean, she's acting like there is zero chance he'll ever be able to get her trust back, so if she's going to act like that then it's divorce time. I know it's harsh but is Jamaica so bad that you'd rather stay here with someone who hates you and has basically said there's nothing you can do to change their mind? Jay gets irritated and says you see, guys, this is how it is, she cuts me off all the time. Jonathan tells him not to defend himself, but I don't think he really is. He's been pretty open that he fucked up. Steven, fount of wisdom, basically says Jay should keep trying for his whole life. Man, fuck that. At some point you have to cut your losses and bail. You can't say “well I love you so I will keep pursuing you forever” because first of all, that's creepy, and secondly, that's so much energy and emotional investment that you can spend elsewhere. Fernanda does say she'd divorce him, which is what should happen. But this decision is up to Ashley, who says she doesn't know how someone can come back from this.

The instant that Shaun calls a break, Ashley gets up and leaves. She says she's not dealing with this, and that she doesn't need a whole room of people to make her husband admit he's wrong. What? Are you saying he didn't admit he was wrong before this? I get that they've been picking on them but this is a weird argument. Jay follows her out, and she asks him why he hesitated so long when he was asked if he could be monogamous. Because he doesn't know what “monogamous” means, were you fucking paying attention? She's just standing there with her arms crossed like she doesn't believe him, and then says he needs to stop trying to make excuses. Some of that is part of the show, though, right? I mean, the questions demand he explain himself, so he's doing that. I guess she just wants him to grovel constantly, which isn't reasonable and again, just indicates that she should cut him loose. Apparently his explanations mean he isn't really sorry. She accuses him of not understanding what marriage is, I guess. Jay says he thought she was going to help him be a better man, but Ashley claims he doesn't take guidance. Also she's stupid for still being with him and he should be worshiping the ground she walks on for not sending him home. Then fucking do it. You lose all your high ground when you decide you're going to hold this threat over his head forever. Now she's not wasting her breath any longer. Whatever. Jay thinks he has been owning up to his mistake, which I think he has. I mean, she basically said he can't do anything to fix it or change her mind. I really think she wants him to do nothing but grovel and kiss her ass, and she'd still probably be pissed, let's be honest.

Ashley does deign to return to set. Some nameless producers talk about how Colt called and said they were on their way to the airport to catch a flight, but it would be tight. This makes zero sense. As far as I can tell the TLC headquarters are in Maryland. I feel like when people arrived and got off the elevator, there was a Food Network sign, which to me says Chelsea Market in New York City (Food Network and TLC are owned by the same company, I'm pretty sure). So Colt and Larissa are just now catching a flight out of Vegas to the East Coast? At least an hour after they were supposed to be here? And you lose three hours from Vegas to New York? This doesn't add up, unless this conversation happened several hours ago. I mean we've seen how sketchy the editing is.

Time for Steven's stupid ass. Great job on the montage of his being an ass. He really looks terrible, which is great. Steven on the couch looks pissed, because he doesn't look great, but Olga doesn't look as upset. Shaun ask if he thinks he needs to apologize for anything he's said, and he says no. Olga looks resigned, but several other people on the couch look pretty incredulous. Olga says she was really in pain, and she focused on the baby because it was her first child. Kalani nods, as a mother. Jonathan and Jay tell him the baby is most important, as opposed to his lame ass argument of how they were supposed to be getting to know each other. You forget that when you said your son's citizenship was the only thing you cared about, you threw that argument out the window. Steven says he did everything for her, so he just wanted a “thank you”. Uh huh. Asuelu laughs and asks why do you need your fiancee to say thank you? Well...in general, you should thank people that are helping you. In this case, though, the right reaction is not what Steven did. Steven swears it's about respect. Ha! Steven clearly doesn't respect Olga and we can all see it. Asuelu says, are you serious? She had a C section, it's major surgery, she has to be up all night. Fernanda asks if Steven thanked Olga for carrying the baby for nine months without him. Oo. Good question. Steven claims he “showed a lot of appreciation” for that and also claims that he wasn't doing things just for a thank you. Sure.

Shaun tries to regain control and asks if maybe this is because they don't really know each other? A lot of it is, probably. Steven tries to claim that Olga is a totally different person now, so she points out that maybe that's because he knocked her up and she has a baby. He also claims the baby was born “unexpectedly” which is not true. He doesn't understand due dates is what that is. Shaun points out that maybe he should give Olga credit for, you know, being pregnant and alone for nine months. He says “oh sure” as if we're going to buy that he understands this concept. No, she had hormones and so he totally let it slide. Oh and also he gets it now that he treated her poorly. I thought you were justified in demanding she thank you? Olga brings the baby over, who is still cute. Now we have to bring up the visa thing. He didn't want to sign the paperwork until he knew her, and so he waited. I mean, I get that, we've been talking about the 90 day deadline all night. It doesn't explain lying about it, though. Jonathan points out his dicking around caused his baby to have to stay in Russia longer, and Shaun says that if he had applied when he said he did, Olga would be here right now. But he couldn't have finished school and gotten his own apartment! Olga's reaction to that was to tell him not to lie to her again. I think Shaun is trying to get Ashley and Jay to fight again, because she asks Steven how Olga can trust him now, when he says stuff. Well that's just because she was crazy with hormones and he knew she'd overreact so he lied about it. Ass. He just wanted to to make sure he had his own place. But the truth makes sense for once. It actually does, so why not tell the truth? Steven says he didn't want Olga to think he wasn't coming for her. Oh, so you just said to her face that you wouldn't be there if not for your son and that his citizenship is the only thing you care about. Kalani pipes up that in her opinion, had Steven admitted the truth to Olga she would have miscarried. That is some bullshit. Leida is nodding too, which is stupid. You can't possibly know that Olga would have been that upset. Steven claims that the visa is supposed to be approved in the next two weeks, and then when Shaun tries to move on, he demands that he be allowed to brag that he's earned enough money to not need a sponsor. I guess he's trying to spin it that had he done what he was supposed to, he wouldn't have had enough money and essentially needed a co-signer. It's just a ploy to demand that everyone applaud and give him praise.

Right when they're going to commercial they break in to tell Shaun that Colt and Larissa are on the way. See, that conversation had to have happened hours ago. They take a break, and Jonathan says he doesn't want to see them because it's too much cringe. The cast hangs out in the hallway and bitches about how Colt and Larissa are so starved for attention they just want to show up halfway through taping to be asses. Everyone else was on time. Asuelu jokes that they should have flowers to give Larissa. Ha!

Time for Kalani and all the clips of her fucking up her relationship with Kolini. Oh, Kolini is here with the baby. OK everyone loves the baby. So cute. To be fair, Kolini has been overly dramatic too. Kolini won't say that she thinks this marriage is a good idea, or that she's changed her mind, she just says that it's her sister's husband and it's not her business. Or something. So Kolini still doesn't like him. Asuelu does admit he wishes Kalani had stood up for him more, but Kalani claims it's because she doesn't pick people, it's right or wrong, so she stands up for whoever is right. Uh huh. When did she take Asuelu's side ever? We also bring up how Kolini said she was Oliver's dad, and I guess online maybe she's been taking heat for that. I think that before Asuelu came to the US she probably had a co-parenting role. Steven asks if Asuelu was helping from Samoa, and he wasn't really so that's why Kolini stepped up. But it was mostly about money. Asuelu could have sent money or something, they know he was broke but some kind of gesture. Asuelu thought America was full of rich people so he didn't even ask if he should help out. Jonathan looks shocked, as does Steven, which, shut up Steven. The second baby was “irresponsible”, according to Kolini. Truth. Steven puts his two cents in that they certainly couldn't do it. Kolini talks about her issues with Asuelu, which we've been over, and then Kalani says she had antipartum depression so Kolini was helping her through that. I didn't realize that was a thing, because you generally only hear about postpartum, but it's a thing. But Asuelu would fuck up somehow, and upset her (she's 100% blaming him for this) and then she had no one to talk to but Kolini, but then Kolini would be mad at him. Kalani is emotional, but Shaun stupidly asks why and she's like, duh, I'm pregnant. You deserved that. At least everyone is laughing. Kolini takes the baby, who is kind of fussy, and then it's like 2am in Russia so Olga leaves too.

Now it's time for lunch, and then it's been announced that Colt and Larissa are on the way. Pizza for everyone. Jay is pissed at them already, as is Leida. Quite frankly I think everyone is pissed. Ashley is concerned with Larissa's need for attention, or whatever, and she says she hopes Larissa doesn't bring “ratchet Ashley” out. First of all, ratchet Ashley was already sniping at Jay earlier. Secondly, let's be honest. Everyone here is looking forward to attacking Larissa and by extension, Colt. Fernanda thinks she's using Colt and the show to be a model and get publicity. She can't resist getting in some digs about how Larissa is old and too fat to be a model. Jonathan thinks they need to settle all the social media drama.

Meanwhile Colt and Larissa are here finally. They didn't know if they were going to come, but they need to stand together. They can't talk about it, probably because of the legal system. Colt claims to have been traveling all day, which I guess is possible if they had to make a connection or something, but if they got a direct flight it's like, 6 hours at most. Which isn't “all day”. Also if TLC didn't offer to pay them airfare and a hotel room for a couple of nights so they could have flown out yesterday? Come on. Supposedly they lost Larissa's luggage with her makeup and clothes. Uh huh. She's got a suitcase and let's not pretend she would wheel Colt's luggage for him. Larissa, as always, promises to attack anyone who comes for her. Colt also acts like Jonathan and Fernanda have beef with them for no actual reason. I guess Colt is going to stick up for Larissa, which is just dumb. If she's going to start shit on social media, let her deal with it.

Colt and Larissa are just going to be brought in when they arrive. Before we “start” the show, Jay starts bitching that they should be here already and they're just wasting everyone's time. Shaun wants Fernanda to explain this beef, and I guess we're all expect to already know but I don't, so here it is. After Larissa got arrested, she posted a photo of herself leaning on a cop car and said it was a throwback to when she was at a wax museum. Fernanda jumped in to chastise her, because she thinks people were worried about Larissa getting arrested, and this whole “oh, throwback to his cop car, ha ha” was making light of that. Larissa responded by accusing Jonathan and Fernanda of faking the whole night club fight with a paid actress, to get more attention. I am sure that went over well. Fernanda's argument is that she was getting messages asking her if she knew if Larissa was OK, because fans were worried about her, so it was pretty poor behavior to make light of that. Ashley says Fernanda was just saying what everyone was thinking and it wasn't rude.

Now since we're talking about Fernanda and Jonathan, let's talk about their huge fight. Sigh. Jonathan looks like an ass here, but also I don't like the idea that Jonathan needs to drop everything when she texts him. Fernanda had never felt so lonely, and it was the worst thing. She can't be independent, she has no friends here and he was ignoring her. And if he's ignoring her, and the only reason she's here is for him, then why stay? Jonathan had mentioned “The Fernanda storm”, which is apparently when she gets upset and breaks things? Listen, I hate to be the bearer of bad news and this really upset me but these two are not together anymore. None of this is healthy fighting and Fernanda is now claiming he's emotionally abusive. Which...there were some inklings of that during that fight, when he wanted to list all the things he's bought for her and then when she said she wanted to go back to Mexico he was a dick about it. I know people who get along wonderfully with their ex spouses because the fights were so horrific, the 90% of the time when they weren't fighting wasn't worth it. Anyway, Fernanda says after the last call when he said he was coming home, he was still out for another hour. So she thought maybe he was cheating on her, she was so upset. I think she's trying to frame it as “at that moment, I was so upset and anxious I believed anything”. Jonathan doesn't think he'd done anything to make her suspicious, so he didn't see why she should be so upset about it. Shaun asks why he thought she'd react that way, so Jonathan says jealousy and insecurity. Of course this means Fernanda gets pissed that he thinks she's insecure and jealous and says if that's true, it's all his fault. Ashley backs her up, of course. But Eric points out that it's not like Jonathan is at the bar every day. No one thinks Fernanda is that jealous, with Ashley saying she thinks she and Fernanda are similar, they don't take any shit. If you aren't jealous, then you don't really care about that person. Fernanda says Jonathan is jealous too.

Finally Colt and Larissa show up, without any luggage, just a paper shopping bag. I still argue that I don't see Larissa carrying Colt's luggage. I mean...then they put her in hair and makeup so what is the fucking point of her not having her makeup? Anyway, they're all upset because she can't face anyone without her dresses and “armor” and whatever the fuck. She's claiming the post was about not feeling sad about being arrested, and Fernanda was just jealous and trying to turn people against her.

Back on set, it's Eric and Leida's turn to be on the hot seat. Leida has learned to cringe about her behavior. She claims she didn't know the details about the child support, and her previous husband gave her nothing, so she didn't like it. Fernanda doesn't agree, but Leida is still bitching about being broke and how Eric lied to her about being broke so this is his fault I guess. Ashley doesn't get child support but she doesn't think Leida has any support here for demanding Eric stop paying alimony. Steven claims that would be a dealbreaker. It might be for him, and we saw that Eric's ex said the same thing, that she would never allow someone she was dating to make demands like that. Shaun asks about when Eric said the relationship was over, and he said he didn't see any option. Leida has started crying, conveniently when she is having to answer for herself. She says she was selfish and she does care, but she only mentions the youngest kid, not Tasha for sure. Shaun does ask about how she basically said she was only here for a green card, and she tries to say she felt forced into getting married. There is a very big pause, though, before she does confirm she loves him. Now Eric believes her, though. Sure. I don't know if I buy this 100% but she is showing at least some self-awareness, you know?

When they go to break, someone asks for Colt and Larissa to come to set. Apparently some staff has gone to buy her clothes. I wonder if Larissa demanded this. Anyway, Larissa is basically refusing to go out if she doesn't look good, because she is beautiful and Fernanda is ugly, so Larissa won't go out if she doesn't feel amazing? But if Fernanda is ugly then why does it matter? Whatever, just call her bluff and go home and get sued for breach of contract. Someone comes out with some tops, or short dresses, for her to try on. Larissa has the audacity to bitch about the free clothes someone has run to buy her. She says if she doesn't have something fucking sexy to rival those bitches she won't go out. OK so don't go out. Why is everyone catering to her tantrum? See, the producers are promising they will have her try clothes on until she likes something. Colt feels sorry for HER and not for literally anyone else. If she wants to go home, then send her home.

Back to the people who were on time. Time to talk to Jonathan and Fernanda about Jonathan's mom. Whatever on this. His mom is very passive aggressive, and I can see why Jonathan doesn't talk to her or have the greatest relationship, but I get that Fernanda wants a family relationship here. No one is “right”, necessarily. Fernanda seems like she's still pissed because Jonathan put her at a disadvantage. But Jonathan got pushback about Fernanda so he decided not to tell them anything. Fernanda believes that Jonathan is going to treat her the way he treats his mom, which isn't automatically true, but it explains her insisting on this. I think if his mom is going to make bitchy comments about Fernanda then she can be cut off. Natural consequences. Asuelu is very upset and he just says he misses his parents. Aww. His parents don't work, and he supports them but it was hard to leave them. Jonathan promises to fix his relationship and do what it takes. I think he knows other people like Fernanda have given up a lot. Once break starts Jonathan goes to give Asuelu a hug too.

Finally Larissa has decided she looks sexy enough. Ashley jokes that she doesn't want to sit next to Larissa because her backhand can reach. Seriously everyone laughs. Now that someone has catered to Larissa and bought her a short tight dress, she is all smiles again. She thinks she looks sexier than Fernanda, which is arguable. Colt looks frumpy, but I don't think anyone cares.

So they get their own entrance, and not one other person greets them. Shaun gets right to it, and says they are going to address the elephant in the room, which is that they've been waiting for them to get there. Fernanda interrupts and says she doesn't really care and it was more comfortable without them. Damn. Shaun asks why, and Fernanda says they're mean. Larissa pipes up and says Fernanda is nothing and she can't be anything, so I guess that means Larissa isn't mean? As they talk over each other Larissa yells to shut up, and Fernanda makes fun of her accent which is kind of hilarious. Colt tries to jump in and ask what Fernanda's damage is. Because Larissa is dumb, she won't let them argue, but just talks about Fernanda's lack of charisma, and no one cares about her, and Fernanda attacks her all the time. I mean who looks unhinged right now? Finally Shaun asks for one at a time.

Larissa does try to explain that the picture of her and the cop car was an attempt to not let the situation get her down, because she had to deal with all the legal stuff and whatever. So she was trying to pretend it wasn't affecting her. Apparently Larissa thinks Fernanda was leaving a comment instead of a DM and that meant it was all fake. So I guess Fernanda just wanted to start shit, and if she was really concerned she would have sent a private message? I mean I guess. They have another screaming match because Fernanda didn't say “I'm worried”, she said “everyone was worried about you”. But Larissa doesn't want to let Fernanda talk, so she just is screaming “shut up” and “nobody cares about you”. Bitch you refused to be on set until strangers left the building to buy you clothes so you could be hotter than Fernanda. So don't come here with “no one cares about you.” Fernanda scratches her nose with her middle finger, which is hilarious. Larissa, also hilariously, screams to “show some fucking respect, you brat.” Jonathan says it's pathetic, and then Colt says “Pathetic is paying for a 16 year old bride.” Colt, you have absolutely zero standing to call other people pathetic. Plus, Jonathan could kick your ass into next week. Proven by Jonathan pointing out Colt lives with his mom. (I do have to admit that if Fernanda waited a year and a half for her visa, and she is 19...you can do the math.)

Larissa won't shut up long enough to let Fernanda respond, because she sucks of course. Fernanda says that Larissa is just jealous, and that of course prompts Larissa to start screaming that Fernanda is just bones, because of course Larissa can't keep her damn mouth shut. Seriously everyone else on the couch is now mad at Larissa because they would love to hear from Fernanda. Asuelu is really freaking out, like I think he might go punch her. Ashley actually gets up because she can't deal with this shit. As does Asuelu, and then Fernanda and Jonathan. Like everyone except those two are gone.

OK guys this is ten pages and I'm gonna have to make this two posts. Sorry y'all. Also next time apparently everyone goes to hotel rooms and continues to have arguments.