Monday, October 29, 2007

Have some humble pie; I know you know what that is.

I was watching the beginning of "Next Iron Chef" last night, although I haven't seen all of it. I chose to watch "America's Most Smartest Model" instead. But I did watch enough to discover the challenge for this week: Design an airline meal, to be served in-flight.

HMMM, sounds familiar! I thought about not caring, but then I remembered that I had read an article where Alton Brown, who hosts "Next Iron Chef", had slammed "Top Chef" and generally acted superior. You can read the whole thing here: Food fight for the next Iron Chef.

I must admit that I did not read the whole article when it first appeared because the blog I read it on (TOP CHEF: THEY COOK. WE DISH) titled the article so well that it was obvious Alton had nothing but contempt for Top Chef. But I read the whole thing this morning. OK, so if I had read it, I could have complained about the airline challenge then, because it lists it among the challenges. But I was surprised to learn that Alton Brown not only has contempt for "Top Chef" (in that he thinks his mom could do that), but he feels that his show is far different from any other cooking show. Observe:

Make no mistake, said Brown, "The Next Iron Chef" isn't a run-of-the-mill reality, cooking show. This has been a food fight with flair between hardened experts -- so don't expect another version of Bravo's "Top Chef." [emphasis mine]

Really? When you've copied one of the challenges almost exactly? When every challenge has an arbitrary time limit? When you have two challenges per show, one non-elimination challenge that gives people an advantage for the elimination challenge? There's even the same number of judges! I don't mind "Next Iron Chef" being so gimmicky because the whole show is a gimmick anyways. If anything, "Top Chef" should be less gimmicky because the goal there is for them to open a restaurant where they won't have stupid rules. Iron Chefs will always have a time limit and secret ingredients so it's not as strange to hamper them with time limits and surprises. I like Alton Brown and all, and I like "Good Eats", but I think his comments will come back to haunt him.

P.S. I feel I must point out that Lufthansa > Continental. So that's something. Clicky clicky

Ha ha

I wonder if you can actually make tanning lotion out of kitchen products? Plus, I was pretty sure that the nerds were supposed to be the focus of the whole photo shoot so I'm not sure why people got yelled at for not showing off their bodies enough.

What makes my day though is the news that Andre got arrested. Clicky clicky

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Pushing Daisies

"Pushing Daisies" has a lot of rules. The first few minutes of every show reminds us of the rules. It gets old but I love the rest of the show so much that I don't care. Lee Pace makes me swoon and Chi McBride is hilarious. Kristen Chenoweth is also awesome; musical numbers are fab.

Here's about 10 minutes from the end of a recent episode. Do you need to know what the episode is about? No. Just that there was a funeral director stealing valuables from dead bodies and hiding them. This clip contains all the elements that make this show so great. Oh, you probably want the rules:

1. Ned can bring people back from the dead. He makes pies now, for some reason buying dead fruit and bringing to back to life. But if he touches something that is dead it comes back to life.

2. If he doesn't touch the person/fruit/animal/whatever again within the next minute, then it will live forever. However, something else must die in its place. In the case of fruit, the nearby flowers die, but when he brought his mother back to life, the man next door died. He happened to be the father of his childhood sweetheart Chuck. Chuck's a girl. I know.

3. Even if he has brought something back to life, if he touches it again, ever, it dies for good. So when his mother kissed him goodnight a few hours later, she died again. Chuck's dad stayed dead. Double loss. Of course, in the beginning of the show, Chuck died, and then he brought her back to life, and then couldn't kill her again, so they can't touch. Of course. Clicky clicky

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Hot boys + Ben Stein + stupid = gold

I guess since this is my first post it should be an introduction or something. But I think you'll figure it out. It's about TV and I mock it or talk about how things are so worth watching.

My sister told me to watch "America's Most Smartest Model", which is on VH1 so you know it's not the highest quality show. I mean, it's no "Beauty and the Geek", even. But I turned it on, and within 5 minutes I was proclaiming its glory.

See, I've been waiting all summer for some good trashy reality show. But I'm picky about my guilty pleasures. They have to be pretty stupid, and they need to have hot guys in them. Actually, that's not that picky. "Kept", about boys competing to be Jerry Hall's pool boy? Totally qualifies. "Strip Search"? Dude, that show was about a competition to part of a group of male strippers performing in Vegas. So you see the level that I am operating at. And in honor of being smart I think I'll make a proof about why you should watch this show.

Given: "America's Most Smartest Model" is a reality show where models compete in mental and physical challenges to win a $100,000 prize.
Prove: "America's Most Smartest Model" is awesome.

1. Models are fun to watch. Reason: Hot boys. And girls too. Although Mandy Lynn, who has fake boobs and a bad lip job, isn't that hot. Her mouth bothers me. I almost can't watch her talk.

2. Models aren't very smart. Reason: That's the whole idea behind the show, trying to break the stereotype. Only they haven't been very successful.

3. Schadenfruede. Reason: If you haven't seen Avenue Q, schadenfruede is when you laugh at other people's misfortune. The first challenge was a spelling bee. They made sure there was a graphic onscreen so you could see just how poorly they were spelling words like Lacroix and von Furstenburg, which they should probably actually know. I nearly spit out my drink.

4. Ben Stein. Reason: Ben Stein is awesome. His deadpan delivery and contempt for stupidity are exactly what is needed here. He makes fun of the contestants when they are particularly stupid, and at the end of the show when he eliminates them he says things like, "Much like an extra toe you are vestigial!" Cue crickets.

5. Evil producers. Reason: The bathrooms, kitchen, and refridgerator all have combination locks on them, with signs like "The year the USA celebrated its bicentennial". Making models come up with stuff first thing in the morning so they can go pee? I'm waiting for Amazing Editing. Bonus: they change them every day.

6. "America's Most Smartest Model" is awesome. Q.E.D.

For those of you who watched "Kept", which is probably no one, Slavco was cast on this show. But they did one of those, "Welcome, here's the rules, let's eliminate some people" twists and within 10 minutes they had kicked his ass out. I cheered. Clicky clicky