Project Runway All Stars 3/6/19--"Climate Quick Change" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: The designers were asked to create gender neutral high fashion streetwear. This meant that five out of the remaining seven designers made boxy, oversized coats. I guess Dmitry made a trench coat that wasn't a box but it's still a coat. Then the judges got excited about the coats so I guess that's what they have decided gender neutral means. Also there was some stupid drama with Irina using Christina's sewing machine to make personal items, and then not moving because the whole drama with sewing machines has always been stupid, and then Christina taking Michelle's machine and then no one blaming Christina for her part in this stupid argument. Michelle and friends were on social media last week bitching about how Irina is mean because they can't let this go. Anyway, Christina won, and while she did have an oversized coat, I guess it wasn't box shaped. Sean made an interesting outfit that was NOT a coat but had pinstripes so Isaac said it was old and cliché and boring so Sean went home. (click for more)

So everyone has to go to the backstage lounge where there's a TV set up. The designers are forced to watch Alyssa do a fake news broadcast from the runway. Why can't they just all be next to the runway like normal and she talks at them? We have to do this stupid gimmick with the desk and the chyrons? Whatever. Anyway, the challenge is to make “transformational resortwear”. That means we mention climate change so we can have one soundbite about how climate change is bad, and then in the end it's not relevant. Make clothes that can adjust to changing weather conditions, aka St Louis all the damn time. In 24 hours you can get a 30 degree change in the weather. Each designer will be sent “on location” to present a “live fashion forecast”. And they'll be assigned two weather conditions. Christina gets to go first because she won last week.

There's just a green screen and a script, so I'm not sure why going first matters. It's not like she had a choice about what to do. Anyway, this segment is just so everyone can get blasted with fans and fake snow and shit. Dmitry is the best because he can barely be bothered, and when the fake snow comes down he starts cursing that he can't fucking see. Now everyone has a location and two weather conditions, none of which would happen in nature. I mean Anthony Ryan has snow and then 95 degree temperatures.

Michelle says her two weather conditions are wind and rain, which doesn't make sense. Those practically go together. Dmitry feels he has to make two garments, because he's got sun to snow. See that's what I'm saying. Wind and rain are too similar. Irina's got thunderstorms to wind, but thunderstorms ARE windy, so what is the difference? Christina has sun to wind, which isn't bad. Biddell has sun to thunderstorms, which is a typical Midwestern summer. Anthony Ryan claims to never have been to a mountain. He wants a “snap-away coat”, whatever that means.

Dmitry ends up with a dress and a coat, which is a lot of work. Biddell is making a very skimpy swimsuit, and he's realizing everyone else is doing much more elegant clothing. But Miami is kind of tacky? Anthony Ryan makes a half-cape, over one shoulder, and decides to put buckles on the other side so you can remove it easily. Christina makes a caftan. Michelle tells us she's making a skirt that looks like a skirt but incorporates sleeves. Somehow her jumpsuit has to turn into a coat? Something like that.

Anne shows up. Michelle demonstrates her skirt that turns into a coat somehow. She also gives Anne shit for not liking her fabric choices, except Anne basically admits she makes it work. Translation: I hate your fabric choices, but the judges are blind and love them so what do I know? However Anne WILL dump on Anthony Ryan for doing blue again because he does it all the time. He's got royal blue with a yellow-orange cape. It stands out. Irina has a long top like a duster coat, that's reversible and waterproof, so you wrap it around yourself. I think Christina has a similar idea, although she's basically just wrapping a sash around. Not turning a cape over her head. Dmitry has a dress and a coat, but when his model has to take off the coat for the change, she has to do something with the coat. And he's not figured out how that's going to work. Biddell has his swimsuit and denim pants. It's a light denim coverall. That's not going to work that well.

Michelle believes that when Anne likes her look, she does well. Maybe she does. I'm not going to go back and look. Biddell doesn't know what to do, because he wants to listen to Anne, but he's not sure what to do. Then he asks Christina what “crikey” means. Come on, Biddell. Model fittings. Christina has made a swimsuit and kimono, basically. The transformation is to wrap a belt around to make a dress. I'm not sure that's enough. Also it takes forever. Biddell has decided he's going to do something weird, because at least he'll have tried. He'd rather have to explain some weird denim coverall or whatever than explain something boring. Christina refuses to be confident. Her look is pretty, but the print on the kimono is doing a lot of the work, plus the transformation is boring.

Runway Day. Michelle reveals that they were told there would be “weather” on the runway. Biddell knows his look doesn't really look like anyone else's in terms of elegance. With one hour left he's making a new swimsuit. Dmitry has decided that his look will be a dress and a coat, and the model will just carry the coat around. Hot makeup guy Scott. Biddell's new swimsuit is pretty good. Michelle feels the need to make sound effects at her model.

Guest judges are actress Cynthia Erivo, and designer Reem Acra. Irina: red pants, kind of loose, with a crop top in a striped print. The top ties between her boobs and has long sleeves, although when the model comes out, the back of the top is flipped up over her head and tied. There isn't rain so much as there is a spotlight with a vaguely stripey effect. However there is a fan for wind. The model unties the hood and flips the cape back down, so now it's a mullet hem. Tied over her boobs in front, down to the floor in back. It moves nicely and I like the colors. Michelle: dark green jumpsuit with wide legs and cut down to her waist in front. Seriously, most of her chest is exposed. Over this is a skirt in a mottled purple and white print, which looks like when you tie a sweatshirt around your waist. This is for wind, and then to rain. She turns out the pockets to make sleeves, then unsnaps the waist and swings the skirt around her shoulders to become a jacket. Now it ties at the neck? But tying it there makes it hang poorly, so now it sits across her shoulders and down her arms, but there's a huge gap in front, as if it's not cut properly and won't close. Meanwhile the gap in the top is at least as wide as her hand.

Christina: black two piece swimsuit, with open sides. There are horizontal strings holding the back and front together. You guys know what I mean. The top comes up pretty high and is closer to a sports bra than a “typical” string bikini. Over this is a floor-length kimono cover-up in cream with a dark orange fan design. It's a gorgeous print, but it is doing most of the work to make this pretty, with the rest being the fact that it's a light fabric and it moves nicely. When the wind starts the model pulls straps from somewhere and basically belts the kimono. Anthony Ryan: blue and dark yellow (or maybe yellow-orange)...”coat”? I guess? It looks more like a long tunic, or a tabard. One shoulder and sleeve and her whole right side is yellow, and then the blue is the middle, then the garment ends with a cuff sleeve in blue and an open side so you can see underneath. Beneath this tunic is a beige dress, very plain. The transition is that she unsnaps/unbuckles the yellow and blue garment, takes it off...and puts it over her arm. The beige dress has a high collar and cap sleeves, and an asymmetric hem, but on the opposite side from where the tunic was asymmetric. Taking off a coat isn't a transformation.

Biddell: swimsuit that is half mint green, half pink. Again, a sports bra style top. We never see the bottoms. He's got a jumpsuit in a light blue, with cropped bottoms. Its' not the most flattering cut. In the “rain”, she basically unties the sleeves from around her waist, unzips something, and then it's a jumpsuit with shiny green wave cutouts around her waist. Like, horizontal strips of the green with wavy edges. I don't know if I like the jumpsuit, because it looked like she tied a sweatshirt around her waist. Which isn't very exciting. Dmitry: long dress in a pink and black floral print. It has long sleeves, and a lace front to the bodice and a high neck. The skirt does flow well. The model is carrying her coat, so when the weather changes she just puts it on. Again, not a transition. She doesn't even put her arms through the sleeves! It's just a white coat, boxy, like she's a little kid wearing her dad's suit jacket. Plus the dress feels like all of Dmitry's peasant dresses he's been making.

Irina talks about Morocco. They love the top and how the material is waterproof. Georgina likes the mix of fabrics, but the guest judges don't like the red of the pants. Alyssa praises the ease of the transition. That's true, the transition here was very smooth. Anthony Ryan says he's never been “snow...mountain-y?” Somehow this sleek, dark colored tunic reminds people of 1980's puffy snow suits. Georgina likes the top part, but not the bottom of the linen underdress. But she hates the colors. One arm is bare, but it's supposed to be snow. Reem says she can see construction and ideas, and he could go further. Biddell likes that a jumpsuit could be worn wrapped around the hips until you get cold. Reem always wraps things around her hips so she likes it. Georgina says she didn't get a sense of Biddell “as a designer” which is always the dumbest critique. Isaac is bored because it's a sports bra and a jumpsuit. Biddell starts to explain how they're all exhausted but the judges are having none of it.

Dmitry wanted opposite pieces that worked together. The judges do not agree that they work together. The short sleeves on the coat are way too short, and it would have been better had he just made a cape. Isaac for some reason says his dress is an All-Star dress. Isaac. Come on. Christina wanted to be covered from the sun at all times, which is nice. It's generic and everyone feels they could go out and buy this now. They probably could. Georgina busts out the “but I don't know who you are as a designer” line again. Michelle gets too much into her scenario, I think. The judges like the transition, although I still think the jacket looks sloppy when she puts it on. They also think the print combo is amazing and brilliant. Reem does clock the nude high heeled sandals, though.

Irina had a very interesting top, with the double sided cape thing. But they don't like the pants at all. Not flattering. Michelle had an idea that shouldn't have worked, but it did. Isaac says there's a little too much skin? Something? I can't understand him. Alyssa hated Dmitry's. Hated it. The proportions were terrible, and the two pieces didn't go together. But then Isaac likes the idea of the coat, or something, and Georgina says those were the two pieces she'd buy if she saw them in a store, so I guess the judges are in love with Dmitry and he'll stick around forever. I mean really. They've gone out of their way to find something nice to say about the same dress he's made several times and a boxy coat.

Isaac and Georgina insist that Anthony Ryan's look was garbage and not cohesive. I'm sorry but his two pieces are clearly meant to be worn together, as opposed to a pink and black Anya dress and a huge white wool coat. Alyssa loved Anthony Ryan's look, and she's fighting for it. Biddell made something flawless, but it's boring. The colors are nice, but now everyone is morally offended he tried to complain about being tired, or because he's resigned, or something. The judges are just doing whatever they feel like and playing favorites. This is terrible. I mean, complain the pants aren't flattering. Great. Don't say you like the idea of a coat, when the actual coat you were shown was bad. Christina isn't clear on who she's designing for. I guess? Her transition was clumsy. See, that's relevant criticism. Georgina calls it a bad Gucci knockoff.

Michelle and Irina are the top two. Michelle is the winner. I absolutely hate the super wide strip of skin down the middle of her chest, because I don't think it looks right, and that jacket is very sloppy. Irina is in. Dmitry and Anthony Ryan divided the judges. Alyssa demands they satisfy everyone next week, which is impossible because the judges don't know what they want and next week they'll be offended by something new, so who knows what will work. Christina didn't think through her concept and it looked cheap. Biddell was too junior. Christina is out. Biddell is in. What is this first-to-worst shit? First Sean and now Christina. She tells them she's surprised but thanks for the experience. I'm glad she said she was shocked. They need to hear that. She wishes she pushed herself more. Her look wasn't groundbreaking, true, but all of this judging today was sketchy.

Next week: Nina is here, a gown for a royal ball, people not being fancy enough.