Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Project Runway 7/30/08--"Bright Lights, Big City" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Everyone had to make dresses from “green” fabrics, which their models did the shopping for. Of course, all the fabrics sucked and people complained about it, but in the end, most of them came up with OK stuff. Suede won, somehow, with some weird strips on the bodice that I dare Bluefly to mass produce without costing an arm and a leg. Wesley lost, for taking brown satin and making it wrinkly and overworked. All I ask for is some competent eye candy. (click for more)

Daniel is sad Wesley’s gone, because he thought they were connecting. Don’t feel too bad, though, because he and Wesley are dating now. Kelli is glad to get going, but Stella says she can get ready in 10 minutes so she‘s trying to sleep in. Blayne wears his backpack on his stomach and pretends to be pregnant. I hope one of the girls smacks him for being an offensive tool. The recapper at Twop says she wishes Jeffrey was around to smack Suede, which I totally agree with and add that he can smack Blayne too. Santino will also do if Jeffrey is busy.

Heidi makes Suede choose models, instead of everyone. Stick to one thing! I don’t care how you do the model choosing, if everyone chooses or just the winner, but just pick one method and do that all the time. Suede keeps his model but insists on the third person thing. Heidi says Tim is taking them out for a night on the town, because they’ve worked so hard. Anyone who watches reality TV, the alarm bells should be going off. Come on. However, these people all look excited.
Jerell says maybe they’ll go to dinner. Stella wants to go to Tim’s house. Tim finally appears, in a trench coat, and he says it’s raining. Everyone then gets cheap ass plastic ponchos and rain boots. Hee.

Tim leads them to a “CitySights NY” double decker bus. Suede is confused, of course. Like he’d be the one to figure it out. And it’s like 10:30 at night. Tim says they have to create a look inspired by New York at night. OH I called that last week. There will be 4 stops, and at each one they’ll let a group off with cameras and they’ll have an hour to take pictures. Did the producers really think that by making this “at night” that we would think it was a new challenge?
Suede, Daniel, Leanne and Jennifer get off at the first stop at Columbus Circle. Stella, Kenley, Blayne, and Keith are at Times Square. Blayne asks about tanning salons. Korto, Kelli, and Joe get off at the New York Public Library. Terri, Emily, and Jerell get off at Greenwich Village. Daniel has pictures of a shadow? Stella can’t work her camera, and Blayne tells her to “open up the thing, baby”. Kelli has some black and silver fire hydrant which she says is a Mad Max thing. Terri’s got graffiti, which she takes a blurry picture of. Seriously, they are even taking the SAME PICTURES of things to be inspired by. Jerell and Emily find the porn shop. Heh. Keith then says he’s a Mormon. A gay Mormon in Salt Lake City. Harsh. Someone complains about him being competitive, because he’s walking in front of people taking pictures. But it’s Stella, which I’m sure she would complain about anything. It’s annoying, but…it’s a photo. It takes 10 seconds. Keith ruins it by saying he doesn’t care about the “negative energy” because he’s not here to make friends.

Back at Atlas everyone finally gets to bed at like, 1:15am. But first Jerell has to put on his facial mask. Not surprising. Blayne thinks he’s teasing Jerell, except that he just asked about a tanning salon, so.

Back at Parson’s in the morning, Tim says he’s still wet from last night. Stop it right now. They have to pick one photo, and then they’ll get $100 to shop. 30 minutes to pick a photo and sketch. Kenley has a picture of a map. It’s kin of abstract and stuff. Blayne has some colors, or something? I’m not sure what it is. Keith has a wet magazine. No, really. He likes volume. And he’s talking about how he wants to be in the top 3, so he’s in trouble.

Tim brings them to Mood for the first time. Kenley always brings the 40s and 50s. Stella hollers for help. Not really, she just pouts “Someone needs to help me!” in a conversational tone, until no one responds. Then she hollers “Who’s helping me?!” Shush. Terri finds exactly what she wants.

Tim gives them until 1am, and the winner gets immunity again. Last week they got to sell on Bluefly so that was the prize. Suede says some nonsense and every time he says “Suede” I want to kick his ass. After saying she likes her retro look Kenley describes her dress as fresh and new. Joe thinks the print is really old. Leanne gets really nervous, to the point Terri has to comfort her. She’s got a circular planter as inspiration. She’s still putting loops everywhere. Blayne is looking around all bug-eyed staring at people threatening to eat them. He’s a freak. Keith has…rags. It’s all like, hand-sized pieces of fabrics sewn everywhere. Stella thinks it dumb, which is not surprising because it‘s not made of leather. Keith talks some more about how awesome he is, sealing his fate. Terri loves her dress graffiti thing. Emily is trying to figure out how much is too much. Right now it’s a black one shoulder dress with a colored ruffle in orange and peach falling over the shoulder and down the front. Kenley says it’s not well done and cliché. These people sure trash talk a lot. Stella picked out the blinders on a horse, naturally, because they’re leather. This involves grommets. She says she’ll die being rock and roll. I don’t think anyone would argue with you on that. No one got her a bedazzler, so she’s putting in grommets the old school way: you put the two halves of the grommet/stud on either side of the leather, then you place it on the table and hammer it until they stick together. As you can imagine, everyone hates her quickly. She says to no one in particular that if they don’t like it they can “get the f**k out of there”. OK, 1. no, they can’t, and 2. at least acknowledge that you’re annoying.

Tim time! Tim’s concerned about Jennifer. Her hem is messed up and she doesn’t have sleeves yet. Daniel thinks it sucks. I am thinking that for anyone’s dress, someone in the workroom is willing to say something about it, in the hopes that it’s funny and they can be “hilarious bitchy sound bite person”. (Kmanpat: “Sorry kids, that title is held by Jay, and Robert as a close second.“) Keith explains his rag dress. Tim has nothing to say. Interesting. Kenley’s dress is exposed (?), and she’s got some gorgeous pink/purple chiffon. With a turquoise Hawaiian shirt print. Costumey. Terri’s print matches her graffiti, and it doesn’t look bad. She’s got a dress and pants, and the dress is backless. Tim makes sure it’s a good “oh my gosh!” when the model turns around and you see the backless part. Leanne’s skirt is looking tiered and actually really good. He warns her not to overwork it. Emily’s dress now has ruffles along the front, not draped over the shoulder. They are more…ruffley, if that makes sense. Her picture is a long exposure with lines of light. Tim is disappointed because it’s a black dress with a giant corsage. She’s happy with it. Sigh. Tim says goodbye to everyone and Blayne’s all, OK, holla atcha boy. Tim has to ask for an explanation, and then he tries to say “Hello? Holler? Challah?“ OK, as much as I hate Blayne, Tim Gunn saying “Holler at your boy? Is that the phrase?” is hilarious.

Frantic working. No one seems to be confident or done. We cut quickly to the next morning when people are worried and Stella is wearing her hot pants and striped leggings again. More frantic working. There is a lot of work, and it seems to be more than usual. Like, people are still draping and tops are not attached to bottoms, as opposed to just fixing hems. Tim appears and says that Keith’s model had to drop out of the competition, so he gets the eliminated model. Fun. 1 hour for fitting, hair, and makeup. Leanne doesn’t seem to have a top. Jennifer (who? exactly) is still sewing. Tim says they have 10 minutes and he’s serious. He has to ask if anyone is listening to him because no one responds. Does he always do that? The 10 minute warning, I mean, because if that’s a new thing, that’s a good sign of how little these people plan. A lot of freaking out. LOT. These designers don’t time manage well at ALL.

This week’s poll: Should “Holla at cha boy” be Tim Gunn’s new catch phrase? First of all, it’s “atcha” not “at cha” and second, no. (Kmanpat: “And third, hell no.”)

Sandra Bernhard is the guest judge. Interesting. Keith: his dress did turn out OK, but it’s odd. It makes you want to know how to make it, but it also looks raggedy. Blayne: black dress with giant rainbow ruffles. Every color of the rainbow, down the front of the dress, which is long sleeved and high necked. Sigh. Joe: fitted gold bodice with black lines, and a black skirt. It’s inspired by a light fixture. In the back of the skirt there is some tulle. It‘s not really exciting but it‘s also very wearable. Emily: black dress with colored ruffle. Only a couple warm colors and across the bust and down the front, ending before the hem. The dress is still one shouldered, but the ruffles are straight across. Leanne: plain cowl neck black top but the skirt is spot on. It’s in tiers that meet in the middle but only one side has gray so it stands out. Jennifer: blah. It doesn’t look like a clock, except for the white sleeves with black lines. The rest of the dress is blue with a high waist and elbow length sleeves and is super boring. Jerell: green with ruffles and it’s awesome. It’s strapless, with a dark olive green, and lighter green ruffles across the bustline (flat ones though) and then layers of the light green down the asymmetric skirt all the way into a train. I don’t see the inspiration (a fountain) but I want it. Kelli: I don’t know. The top looks like it‘s macramé, in black. Then there‘s a high belt and a tight black skirt. The model has a Mohawk. There’s no silver in it at all, and it was a silver and black fire hydrant, so I don’t get it at all. Daniel: a black strapless dress, basic, with a swath of gold fabric over one shoulder going across her body. Most of the skirt is gold, so maybe there’s not a full black dress there. Does it look like light and shadow? Eh. Kenley: fitted turquoise and purple print with a mock turtleneck and puffy shoulders and fitted elbow length sleeves. Then on the skirt on one side of the dress is the chiffon. She has a tumor. Seriously, that side of her skirt is fuller than the other and it is a bump. The rest of the skirt tries for volume but fails. Suede: high collared shirt dress, in putty. Somehow it relates to a gold and blue streak of light. Stella: shiny metallic halter top and pleather pants with the grommets. Bartender in a biker dive bar. Korto: black jumpsuit which doesn’t look like the thing she took a picture of, which I can‘t identify. Terri: blue dress and pants. The print on the dress is blue and green, and it’s got a high neck and long sleeves, but is backless. It‘s certainly interesting.

Keith, Kenley, Emily, Terri, Jennifer, and Leanne are called forward for more questioning. Wait, that means Blayne and his giant rainbow ruffle escaped, while Emily’s ruffle didn’t. According to Tim, he says that Blayne‘s ruffles were part of the dress, whereas Emily‘s ruffle was just sewn on top. Also they‘re placed differently. Kenley talks about her painted wall and whatnot. Sandra says that you have to be tall and thin to wear it, but Kors thinks you could be lopsided. It’s very 80’s but also updated. Strangely, Kors says that it is pretty 80’s, but if you are too young to remember the 80’s it’s pretty cool. They actually really like it. Huh. Keith wanted to have hidden beauty, but it’s shapeless and Kors thinks it looks like “toilet paper blowing in the wind” because of all the white fabric. Everyone nods, and Nina especially hates the uneven hem, which I think wouldn’t have worked if it was even. Terri says her girl is confident and “fierce, sexy, and in control“ (that part from Sandra). Sandra says she seems like if she was alone in an alley she’d threaten attackers with a knife. Everyone wants to know her. Emily explains her streaks of light. Sandra wishes it was flatter, without the ruffles. Nina compares it to Carmen Miranda, and Kors says the ruffles are hitting her wrong. Leanne says she noticed things she might not because it was raining, like the tree planter. Heidi says it looks like she bought it at a store and she’d wear it. Jennifer talks about the clocks, and Holly Golightly meets Salvador Dali, but Kors sees no surrealism and her hem is jacked up. Everyone is bored. Including Nina, and you know you don’t want to bore Nina.

Good: Terri (great vibe and attitude, you want to know her model), Kenley (surprising and different from what she’s done before, everything came together), Leanne (very wearable, and not over designed at all). Bad: Emily (Kors says the ruffles were insane, Nina has no comment and everyone clutches their pearls), Keith (too much white, too much like toilet paper), Jennifer (no surrealism, no one cares about what else she can do, poor execution).

Terri is in. Kenley wins. She’s never won anything major in her life. Leanne is in. Keith is in, so much for foreshadowing. Emily made a cliché, and Jennifer’s style that she keeps telling us about doesn’t match what she showed them. Jennifer is in. Emily says her dress was beautiful and finished and showed her personality and shouldn’t have lost. I guess design counts for more than execution.

Nest week: another field trip, Keith steals fabric or something, Blayne doesn’t know who Sgt. Pepper is and Tim is disgusted (holy crap, I'm disgusted), Joe says there’s too much drama because there are too many queens. Probably.

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Project Runway 7/23/08--"Grass Is Always Greener" summary

Previously on Project Runway: we met all 16 designers (so many!) and they were forced to shop at the grocery store for materials. Unlike the first season, this season pretty much everyone bought tablecloths, enough that Tim yelled at them for being boring. Kelli won, for at least using vacuum cleaner bags and coffee filters. Jerry went home, for using a shower curtain to make a lumpy raincoat. Did you know that Jerry is already famous? Anyone watch “Make Me a Supermodel”? When the contestants went to Fashion Week they walked in shows to get runway practice. The girls walked in Jerry’s show. He’s established enough that he showed at Fashion Week. And was already on a Bravo reality show, which not one person mentioned. Except Blogging Project Runway. And then to top it all off he was the first one out. Also there is a very, very high percentage of “indie rocker chicks”. They kind of all look alike. (click for more)

Suede says his roommate Jerry was “voted out”, and it somehow doesn’t surprise me that he is confusing this show with other reality shows. He’s kind of taking a “better him than me” approach. Stella reads off some nasty health drink formula or something. She’s shocked to still be there. Of course. Her dress was pretty crappy. On the way out the door we see that Blayne has taken over the boys’ chalkboard to write things like “sup holla!” and “Team Licous!” It makes me want to vomit.

Everyone gets to pick new models if they want. There is no drama. Well, Jerell tries to make drama but it’s a pretty lame attempt. It’s like he feels that he should do it, because Nick did it a couple of seasons ago, but his heart’s not really in it. Then…Heidi has all the models come back out. Huh? Emily is suspicious. Heidi tells them their next challenge is to make a cocktail dress, and the models are the clients. Does this mean we’ll see more of the models? Will they be crappy clients? I can only hope so.

Tim meets everyone in the workroom. Of course, making a cocktail dress for a skinny young model would be too easy, so they must use “green” fabrics. That means all natural fabrics, such as bamboo, hemp, jersey. I am sure Blayne and Suede know about hemp. Leanne says she already only uses green fabrics so she’s not concerned. Then Tim drops the bomb: the “Project Runway first” they have been advertising? The models have to do the shopping. HA! Ha, I say! Naturally everyone flips out. They only have $75 too. Tim drags them off immediately, so they don’t even get to tell the models how much to buy, let alone what type of fabric to get. That would be my problem; I can figure out what kind of fabric to get, and the color, but I have no idea how many yards I need for a dress.

Gratuitous shot of Elle magazine at some newsstand somewhere, with one of the Olsen twins on the cover. That would make me avoid buying Elle.

Tim gives the models 30 minutes to shop at Mood. They’ve actually got a good selection of organic fabrics. Karalyn says that a lot of people are going to end up with the same fabrics so the challenge here will be to still get a unique look. I put her name because that’s a really smart observation. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for Morgan to be here right now, buying some crazy thing and screwing over her designer. Someone is buying peacock feathers.

Jarell’s fear is having to use “remnants of nonsense”. Hee. They get 30 minutes to talk and then the rest of the day to sew. And it’s already 12:30. Kenley doesn’t like the jersey she’s gotten, because it’s not very fancy. Keith’s the one stuck with peacock feathers, and also champagne and peach. His interviews, he’s wearing a wife beater and a bandana, and glasses, but in the workroom he has different glasses, giant nerd glasses. Still cute. Jerell’s model has no nonsense remnants. Wesley hates the colors he’s stuck with. I am hating the sweater-tied-around-the-neck/polo shirt look in his confessional. He looks like a tool. The waistcoat in the workroom is cool, though. (Kmanpat: *drool*) Suede babbles something about not having fashion, or something, but he’s putting Suede into it? I don’t know nor do I care. He also declares that they’re consulting with their models not just to chat, but to find out what they like. Well, yes, genius, that’s generally what consults are for. I’d give him more crap about it but you know someone is going to totally ignore their model and get in trouble, proving that not everyone has had that particular insight. Cut to Stella ignoring her model, who wants drapey stuff, while Stella always does form fitted clothing. As we’ve seen, if she caves to her model she’ll get yelled at. I wonder if she will.

10 hours to sew. Emily hippies that the fashion industry pollutes water with their dyes so green fabrics are great. “Hippies” as a verb, I like it. Blayne is making paneling, and I think the tanning has fried his brain, because he compares Heidi to Darth Vader. (He calls her “Darth Licous” too but I’m trying to ignore that). On the outside, she’s shiny, but on the inside, she’s crazy. Does she also have the power to control the Force? Actually that would kick ass. Instead of kissing people goodbye, she could throw them off the stage without getting out of her chair. Wesley is worried about time, because the satin he has will show every mistake. Kenley asks around if people have black, and when someone says they do, she decides to just use the champagne silk she has. Did she not ask if people had champagne? Maybe she doesn’t care if it’s not silk. Korto says her model is Puerto Rican and has curves, so she is taking advantage of that. Stella refuses to make a drapey dress. She says the judges want to see what she can do, not what her model feels like wearing that day. Suede refers to himself in the third person again. We also find out he’s bisexual. People make fun of him which makes it better. “Leanne likes Suede. But Suede needs to stop talking in third person.” Yay Leanne. She’s making shapes so her dress will stand out, since two other people have the same fabric. Kenley thinks it’s too much. Wesley is pleating, and Korto is also doing pleating so she kind of is worried. She’s worried they’ll look the same, but they totally don’t. Stella sneers that you shouldn’t look at other people’s work because it just distracts you. Good advice that would be more effective if it wasn’t delivered in such a bitchy way by a person who was almost eliminated.

Tim time! Kenley has a belt; Tim is unconcerned. Korto tells him she’s worried about if the darts will work, since her dress looks inside out. He says it won’t matter because they won’t see it, and she has to tell him that he’s looking at the outside of the dress. So instead of lines of stitches along the seams there are strips of fabric, just like on the inside of your clothes. Tim has to take a few moments to absorb this, and then he goes “OH!” in this fake way so you know he thinks it’s a bad idea. He says if it’s not perfection it will be a hot mess. Suede has strips of red and cream all over the entire bodice. And a circle skirt. It’s not woven, or anything, it looks like he just threw it together. Tim says he’s excited but his face says “I smell a fart.” Wesley has pleats on the hips, and cut outs. It has to be perfect too, the satin will show everything. Leanne has a different look with the same fabric, with strips that loop around. She has a lot going on and needs to edit. Except that she doesn’t want to. Tim lets everyone know that there is no immunity; however the winner will get to sell their dress on Bluefly. Nice. Also he says that “one of Hollywood’s hot young stars” will be their guest judge, but they’ll find out tomorrow who that is.

This week’s poll: Which is crazier? Blayne’s tanorexia, Stella’s leather fetish, or Suede’s using the third person? (Kmanpat: “D. Wesley’s not being at my house right now, in his waistcoat and shorts.”)

Daniel is really hoping he can just get done. Lots of flailing. Stella complains about her fabric, and says she just wants to work with leather. All the time. Keith and Blayne roll their eyes. Dude, BLAYNE is mocking you. He’s in the sewing room saying stuff like “My kids came out of me leather” except that he’s so damn loud Stella can totally hear him. They hug and make up but I bet she gets him later.

Wesley shirtless! Sorry. It’s the next morning and Daniel isn’t done. Keith has a tank top on. Oh, like you really cared about everyone saying how important today is.

Someone breaks their zipper. Daniel’s bodice and skirt are not attached to each other. Korto is glad she‘s not the only one freaking out. Tim comes in and is very concerned and says they’re making him a wreck. Jerell…for some reason Jerell is wearing a woman’s tank top. I’m serious, it’s really low cut and men’s tank tops are not that low cut. If he was a girl he wouldn’t be able to wear a bra. Model time! Stella says her model loves her dress. Everyone gets their hair and makeup done and Daniel is still sewing. Wesley’s fit is bad, and it shows. Suede says something but I tune him out. Daniel gets done. Korto will be glad to just be safe.

Heidi appears and reminds everyone about the challenge and whatnot, and introduces the guest judge: Natalie Portman. She looks really cute. Apparently she is an activist and has a vegan shoe collection. Vegan shoes have no leather, and I believe no silk either. Show time! Keith: halter top and a bubble skirt, with a lot of draping. Gee, it looks like…his dress from last week. I even looked it up, it’s the same silhouette. I mean, it looks good, and this is real champagne fabric and not a plastic tablecloth, but still. The skirt hangs strangely, but not so poorly I think he’ll get in trouble. Terri: navy fitted dress with a dark belt. Along the neckline is a pleated ruffle that makes the dress more interesting, which it needs. Wesley: it’s a hot mess. It’s really short, and is gathered strangely, and you can definitely tell it doesn’t fit right. Jerell: so short I fear his model will have a wardrobe malfunction. There’s a halter top with a collar, which doesn’t quite fit her bust properly, in a periwinkle, and then the skirt is the same fabric with panels down the sides in a darker blue print. The hem is lined with peacock feathers and she’s got giant earrings. I thought Keith had the feathers? Jennifer: orange and gray, with a fuller skirt that comes to the knee. It’s totally something I would wear. Daniel: black baby doll dress, that’s longer in the back. It’s pretty boring but looks decent. Joe: a very simple sheath dress with a cutout in the front, right under where her bra strap would be. So…not low enough to be her bellybutton but not high enough to be a keyhole. Without it his dress would be pretty boring, though. Suede: the top looks like he took a red bodice and taped strips over it and then the skirt is short with netting underneath. Not only does it look half assed but it doesn’t look like the bodice fits at all. Kenley: sheath dress with a poofy collar. The collar stands up so it’s not floppy. Kelli: there’s a blue bodice with cream sleeves. Not sleeves, exactly, it’s like she has a cropped vest on, with pleats. And a cream skirt. Upon further inspection the bodice is asymmetrical, so one boob is blue and the other is cream. Eh. Oh, but the back has one tie at the neck and the other in the middle of her back, with gold bric-a-brac dangling down past her ass. Leanne: the loops in her bodice turned out well, since they lie flat and look like pleats. However she also put loops on her model’s ass so that’s not good. Also I think her model has a loop on her head. Stella: it’s a plain dress with a very short skirt, except that it’s got an asymmetrical neckline, with one long sleeve and the other arm bare. It’s pretty 80’s, is what it reminds me of. And there are ties up the sides. Blayne: one shoulder, in pink, with big loops that go from that shoulder over the opposite arm, and a panel on one side of black. It actually doesn’t suck. Emily: black and white, with braded trim and belt. Blah. Korto: very fitted, with her inside out look so the seams show, but she left these wings along her hips that I’m sure she’s going to get in trouble for.

Heidi calls Keith, Terri, Jerell, Jennifer, Daniel, Joe, Kelli, Blayne, and Emily, and tells them they’re safe. God there are a lot of people on this damn season. Kenley gets to start, so she talks about the silk, and how it’s clean and simple. Her model loves it. Nina loves the simplicity and the high collar. Kenley jokes that it’s couture since she sewed the collar by hand. Natalie thinks it’s adult, and Kors loves the belt. Wesley is next, and as he’s talking about how he was limited in the fabric he had, they pan up his dress so you can see how horrid it looks. You can see every wrinkle, and he’s got diagonal pieces along her hips. Natalie likes the bow tie but it sucks otherwise. The bottom hem is wavy and it’s overworked. Kors calls it “crazy short”, and Nina says that “shiny, tight, and short” equals cheap. Stella wanted to make it hers, and since she ignored her model they love it. Even though her dress is certainly shiny, tight, and short. Korto: she loved the fabric, and she wanted to accentuate the curves. They like the top, but Natalie doesn’t like the inside out look. The pieces on the side looks like wings, and Kors says he loves a curvy girl (unlikely) but “even curvy girls, they don’t want fins on their butts.” Heh. Suede explains his strips and whatever. Natalie loves it and wants it. Oh God, they like it. Kors does point out that he’s got the same champagne fabric as everyone and it doesn’t look like it. That is true. But I think it looks ridiculous. Leanne’s dress has pockets I didn’t notice before. The model says the dress is not what she pictured. Uh oh. There is too much going on and it’s all over the place.

Likes: Stella (fits well, shows Stella’s designer viewpoint), Suede (right dress on the right girl, not overworked), Kenley (the only one to use the fabric right, elegant, has personality). Hates: Wesley (overworked, too tight), Korto (fins, she used the fabric wrong), Leanne (all over the place, she also used the fabric wrong, bad judgment). Backstage Leanne is pretty distraught already.

Stella is in. The winner is Suede. Barf. How are they going to mass produce that dress? It’s going to look cheap and crappy. Kenley is in. Korto is in. She’s in tears because she worked so hard. Wesley’s design was unflattering and the fit was poor. Leanne had too many ideas and presented a school project. Leanne is in. No! Not Wesley! Man. He’s glad to just have made it on the show. He’s going to keep designing.

Next week: field trip, which involves ponchos. They seem to be wandering the streets. With digital cameras. No one listens to Tim. The ponchos seem to be because it’s raining and they have to take to the streets for inspiration. Are we just going to repeat challenges from previous seasons? (Kmanpat: “I have to go now and imagine I’m comforting Wesley after his elimination.”)

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Thursday, July 17, 2008

Project Runway 7/16/08--"Let's Start From the Beginning" summary

Hello everyone! Welcome back to “Project Runway”! Did you forget it was on early? Because Bravo is mad they’re moving to Lifetime? Oh, come on, if they weren’t moving, there would be no reason to rush this season and they could wait until “Shear Genius” is over so it could have the usual time slot. (By the way, you should watch “Shear Genius” because it’s highly entertaining.) Also the long, long delay in getting the bios up, and the fact that none of the commercials have any of the designers in them, all that is being blamed on the “rushed” production schedule. There are so many theories out there. Frankly, I can’t bring myself to care about any of them. It’s not like I was going to refuse to watch this season or something. But I must admit to not being very excited about it. (click for more)

No musical intro? Jerell Scott, 28, started modeling and in order to afford cool clothes he started making them. Very cocky. Cute though. Blayne Walsh, 23. Oh, get a haircut. He’s a barista. Actually, he works at a coffee shop but does not say he’s a barista so he’s not even that. And he’s obsessed with tanning. Maybe he’ll be a stoner. Joe Faris, 41. He does not get to talk. Stella Zotis, 42. She seems to be like Jeffery, making clothes for rockers. She wants to step out of leather and denim, as she enters the apartments in her striped tights. Jennifer Diederich, who seems to live in Italy. She describes her style as “Holly Golightly in a Salvador Dali exhibit.” If you don’t know who Holly Golightly is, she is Audrey Hepburn’s character in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” and she’s a prostitute. Her clothes do look cute though. Kelly Martin, 27, thinks she’s Vivienne Westwood crossed with Betsey Johnson. Another rocker chick. In Columbus Ohio. Terri Stevens, 39. Does not get to talk. Jerry Tam, 32, has his own company. All his clothes in his store are black. Some guy in ANOTHER FAUXHAWK… “Suede”? Really? That’s the name you want to be known by? At 37 years old? Suede has a fauxhawk, but to his credit, the sides seem really short. But then he loses his points by coloring the hawk part blue. If you’re going to do that, just go all out. Oh GOD and he talks about himself in the third person. I hate him already. Keith Bryce, 26. He doesn’t say much but I don’t mind at all since he’s pretty cute. (Kmanpat: “He should just stand there and look pretty.”) Korto Momolu, 33, who is originally from Liberia. Is she another Zulema? It’s hard to say. Leanne Marshall, 27. I like her clothes, lots of pleats and details, and she thinks she’s “the silent fashion assassin”. Emily Brandle, 27. Daniel Feld, 25. Another Daniel. Wesley Nault, 23. Ooohhhhhh. He is tasty. (Kmanpat: *drool*) Joe gets to talk now, and has daughters, and appears to be the token straight male. Everyone gets notes that they magically didn’t notice until now, and they’re off to the roof.

Heidi and Tim are waiting up on the roof, to welcome everyone and tell us things we already know. Tim calls them the most “diverse” group ever, but not the most “talented”. Heidi asks if Tim thinks they’re ready for the first challenge, and they’re all like, bring it on! But she says, just kidding losers! Now is party time! Everyone is secretly relieved. Tim pops open the champagne and the cork goes off the roof. Hee. Emily schmoozes with Tim. Terri says she’s really fast and that will get her far. Keith kisses Heidi’s ass a lot. No, really. He says that when he designs he asks himself if Heidi would wear it, and if not then it’s into the trash. I’m not talking about people’s clothes they’re showing, unless they’re really cool or really sketchy. Kenley Collins, 27. She’s rocking the retro look with really red lipstick and dark bangs. She says her aesthetic is loud. Daniel owns birds. There’s a dress where the skirt has a lot of square pieces or folds, and each one looks like a playing card. It’s subtle enough that it’s cool and not costumey.

At 4am the doorbells begin to ring. Tim gets to bother them. Hee. Now everyone is in a frenzy. One of the boys is in really short shorts. Not like, hot pants, but shorts that are like, mid-thigh. Tim takes them to Gristedes Mega Store, which supposedly is where the very first challenge ever took place, the one with the cornhusk dress. And now is the special guest: Austin Scarlett. In a hat and ascot. Girl looks fab. Everyone gets $75 and 30 minutes. Then they have until midnight to complete the look. Tim releases them and they run across the street with no concern for cars. Items chosen: shower curtains (Jerry), mop heads (Terri), bell peppers and kale (Korto), trash bags (Stella). Running. It’s Wesley that has the shorts on. (Me: “Kmanpat, don’t you have those shorts?” Kmanpat: “Yes, and I look damn hot in them, so shush.”)

Work time! Suede declares this challenge “whack a doodle”. Tim tells them on each table is a card with info about the model they’ve been assigned. Winner gets immunity. 11 hours left, make it work. Joe’s theme is Italian, which includes dried pasta and oven mitts. And tomato can labels. That doesn’t sound costumey at all. Kelli has vacuum cleaner bags, which she wants to either dye or bleach. She thinks it’ll be pretty ugly in a great way. Yeah. Daniel has plastic cups and muslin. He’s cutting the rims of the cups, then he’s melting them with an iron to mold, and then laying them over muslin. Jerell tells us that all he hears out of Blaine is words ending in “licious” and he can take that crap back home. Leanne says a lot of people have tablecloths, and it makes her nervous. I would think that you’d want to stand out. Jerry says people are using crap. I guess he’s better than that; I’m sure he’s using tablecloths. Stella’s trash bags suck, because I guess she bought the store brand. So she’s worried about that since she needs them.
Jerell thinks it would be hilarious if they had to repeat this challenge. Heh. Someone kisses fabric and pins the pieces onto their dress. I’m not sure who it was. Tim time! Blaine starts us off by introducing Tim to “Girlicious”. Lord. There’s black…and some weird woven oblong piece…not very much is done. Tim admits he’s not bored. He was going for obnoxious. I see. Tim does look disturbed. Daniel has a wow factor going on with the plastic cups, but so far he‘s barely got enough for a bikini top. Kelli’s vacuum cleaner bags look like marbleized paper and are fabulous. Stella complains about her garbage bags. Tim says the judges don’t want to see that anyway. Suede has a simple shift dress made of a tablecloth, and “doggie bags”. Tim asks if the belt is correct for the dress, Suede worries that without the belt it’s just a tablecloth, and Tim is like, yeah, you should worry about that. Seriously. A belt doesn’t help you that much. Korto has a yellow tablecloth, which is cut into bell sleeves and a long skirt. She wants to use the kale as jewels, which is good because she needs something. Jerry has a tablecloth and a shower curtain. It’s just shapeless and white right now. Keith has another tablecloth, which at least is in a dress with a halter top and a poofy skirt. Tim has had enough and announces to the room how disappointed he is that he’s seeing a lot of tablecloths, and they went to the grocery store so they could use untraditional and unexpected. Then he calls them all slackers. Well, technically he says that the judges will say that. Bu you know he was thinking it. After Tim leaves everyone freaks out. No one wants to lose, Jerry especially.

Leanne is going to try to cover her tablecloth with other things. Jerry was only going to do a raincoat, but now he’s decided to do a dress underneath. Best get going. Terry has braided her mop heads so it looks like a sweater. Blayne is the first one done, with his wickity-wack garment. Stella starts declaring that she’s going to make a fool of herself and be eliminated, and Jerell is like, start duct taping trash bags! She continues to tell everyone she’s getting sent home, and everyone tells her to be quiet. She thinks if she’s first out she’ll be the biggest jackass of the nation. Oh, honey. You’d have to try harder than that.

In the morning we are treated to Wesley shirtless. Ah. The girls worry about Nina but not Kors. Hee. Stella has nothing on her dress form. She’s got some kind of a plan, though. Tim sends in the models and gives them an hour. Wow, short. I was planning to try to name models, but then I remember that last season every other challenge didn’t have the models in it. I see a lot of models being sewn into things. Korto frantically attaches produce.

Runway time! Kors, Nina, and Austin get introduced. Nina is now an “editor at large”. Austin wears a suit and somehow still manages to look like a girl. Emily: very short tan dress, with a large blue collar that I think is made of balloons and the remains of one of those giant rubber balls that they always have in cages. It looks cool, actually. She’s left the trim along the edges of the tablecloth as the hem of the dress. Jerell: one shoulder fitted bodice, made of a lawn chair with trim of cocktail paper umbrellas, and a fringy skirt from a tablecloth. And a Koosh ball on the shoulder. Leanne: pink bubble hem dress, covered in candy. With coffee filters as like a lace detail. It reminds me of a dress that someone would make out of chocolate, as a gimmick. Korto: long yellow dress, which is cool, and the tomatoes and kale down one side of the neckline as an accent. It looks like a real dress. Jennifer: paper towels and lipstick. It’s strapless with a tiered skirt, and the lipstick kisses are like trim. It’s a little too cute, but in terms of construction it’s good. Daniel: it’s a plastic dress. It’s a nice silhouette but it’s plastic. Terri: her mop tops ended up looking like a knit sweater, but it’s obvious she just wrapped the tablecloth around her hips for a skirt. Suede: Oh, honey, it still looks like a table cloth. It’s coming below her knee which doesn’t help, and the dog bags are attached all over. Blah. Stella: still a trash bag, which she is calling a dress, even though it’s a long skirt and a long piece of fabric draped over the model’s boobs and tucked in the skirt. The skirt is so low you can pretty much see what kind of wax job the poor girl has. Joe: holy crap. I take back my comments. The oven mitts make a top, and they’ve been cut down so they don’t look like oven mitts, and the skirt has muslin but he’s used tri color pasta so at first it looks like a print. It’s really cute. Kenley: I’m not sure if that’s a strapless top or if the girl has her own bra on, but the skirt is interesting. Like a flap, over the front, but not an apron. Jerry: the raincoat fits horribly, and the cape part just gets thrown over her head and is attached at the back. It really is poorly fitted. Wesley: it’s a yellow strapless dress made out of a tablecloth. It’s saved by the plastic cups and flyswatters he cut up and made a strap out of. I will admit it looks like a real dress. Blayne: sigh. It’s a swimsuit, apparently, made of shelf liners. The top has a lot of volume, and on her stomach is a piece woven from jump ropes. It just looks stupid, is all. Kelli: I like the a-line skirt, and the interesting patterns, but on top it’s two coffee filters opened up and placed over her breasts. You could not make a bigger “LOOK AT ME” sign for her chest. Keith: still a halter top with a poofy skirt. Now with netting.
Heidi calls forward Daniel, Jerry, Korto, Stella, Kelli, and Blayne. Everyone else is safe. Daniel gets to start. Austin loves that his material isn’t a fabric substitute. He took a chance, and it’s really creative and they all love it. Jerry’s mini dress under the raincoat kind of sucks too. There’s lavender, and some kind of netting. Kors is freaked out and says the dress is a Handi-wipe gone wrong. Jerry thinks it could be worn out for a night on the town. Nina and Austin are bored. Korto explains her produce = jewels ideas. Of course Austin likes the produce. Nina thinks it looks impeccable. Stella says she just sewed and draped. Everyone is bored with this one too. Heidi nails it by saying it just looks like she did something because he had to. Kelli’s bust coffee filters were burnt to make a pattern, and she actually has a hook-and-eye closure on the back, made from a spiral bound notebook. Nice. Kors thinks girls will want to wear it. Now is time for Blayne. He says the last thing he wanted to do was bore the judges and they snicker as they promise him they aren’t bored. Heidi labels it “Playboy bunny gone grunge”. Kors says it’s not pretty and Blayne’s face falls.

Loves: Kelli (actually pretty and a lot of work), Daniel (sexy plastic dress out of something unexpected; he has confidence), Korto (loses points for the tablecloths but the overall picture is wonderful). Austin also likes that Korto is the only one who used fresh produce, ignoring the fact that if someone tried to make a dress out of produce they’d be condemned for copying. Hates: Stella (ugly and boring), Jerry (weird looking and appealing to small children, or if you were killing people), Blayne (looked like a diaper and was hideous).

Korto is in. Kelli is the winner and gets immunity. Daniel is in, of course. Blayne is in. Great, another week of crazy. Jerry’s look was not wearable and memorable in a bad way. Stella took the easy way out and it still sucked. Jerry is out. He says it was a rollercoaster. I’m a designer, my clothes are good, etc.

This season: lots of flailing, Tim Gunn calls something gay, lots of fighting. Tim says “Holla atcha boy!” which is hilarious. Kors calls something slutty.

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