Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Project Runway 11/28/07--"Fashion Giant" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Sarah Jessica Parker showed up and made teams come up with cheap clothes for her new line, and Victorya won. Marion went home, because his dress looked like a bad Army blanket. And I was sad to miss a team challenge, because they’re easier to recap. Surprisingly, it was mostly a drama-free team challenge, which is unusual. Completely unrelated, I’d like to state for the record that RuPaul would make the best guest judge ever.(click for more) Our daily shot of Jack in underwear. This prefaces his announcement that he’s HIV positive. Someone (I think Chris) says they should have gotten rid of Christian because no one would have cried. Chris laughs hysterically while Christian insists they‘d be bored if he left. Christian is still convinced he’s the bestest designer there.

Heidi shows up and she tells them they don’t need models for their challenge. Eh? She sends them to 10 Rockefeller Plaza to meet Tim. When they get there (and after I am distracted by Jack’s gorgeous upper body in a tank top) they meet up with Tiki Barber. A surprising number of them recognize him. Well, he’s on the Today Show now, so I guess it could be from that. Ricky comes through for me by saying he doesn’t know who this guy is but he’s hot. All Steven knows about football is that it’s the one time when spandex is acceptable. Tiki wants the designers to make an outfit for him to wear on the Today Show. Woo!! Most people freak out. Not only do they have no experience with menswear, he’s not built like the average man. He likes dark colors with texture but is not afraid of bright colors, he likes details, and it doesn’t have to be a suit. I love it.

Why is Jack carrying people? I think that’s Christian. Jack just carried him into the workroom for some reason. Back at Parsons Tim gives them a day and a half, $150, and 30 minutes to sketch. Jack asks if he can use items of clothing he’s wearing as a base. Tim says that’s cool. That sucks for girls. Sweet P has never done men’s clothing and she doesn’t even know where to start. Seriously, like, they’re almost all just sitting there. Kevin is busy working and seems to have borrowed Ricky’s hat for his interview. Some of the men are getting measured but none of them are built like Tiki so I don’t know what that’s about. Shopping at Mood is only entertaining because Chris asks Tim if Tiki likes hot pants. Kit insists that she is a stylist for television so she knows what looks good.

Ricky has to show them he can make a suit. Sweet P is also doing a suit, even though she has no idea about any of it. Christian says he’s a fast sewer. Carmen asks Jack about the width of the waistband, and she’s asking a million questions and he’s really helpful. I continue to be distracted by Jack’s bare arms. Suddenly he is wearing a muslin skirt and someone has drawn cherries on his ass. (my friend Kmanpat: “…Lucky.“) Victorya and Carmen steal his shorts to trace them also. Rami doesn’t think it’s fair. Rami could have used his pants too. Sweet P for some reason thinks they might not be able to share patterns, or something. I would say that’s probably a valid question, since this usually doesn’t happen. Jack is unconcerned. Kit says the claws are out. Sweet P knocks her mannequin over (I think they have male forms).

Tim appears to call time at midnight, just as people are figuring out they have a ton of work to do. Steven says he’s wearing a pimp hat, but I think it’s Jillian’s hat. “It’s midnight, and I’m standing here in a pimp’s hat. Just like home.” Hee.

In the morning someone tells their roommates this will be the last time they’ll have fun today. Once in Parsons they buckle down and start working. Ricky rips something, and flips off the fabric while cursing. (Me: “Sadly, I have done that.”) Christian starts bragging about his speed, which makes me think he’s in for a fall. Chris reminds us he’s older than everyone else, and also pants are two big sleeves sewn together. Rami drapes his pants, which look fab, but then he ruins it by being all, “And they’re not traced off of a pattern, like some other pants. I’m not accusing anyone! I’m just saying! I know that some did!“ shut up Rami. Tim brings their models. He prefaces this by saying he has a “very nice announcement”. OH YEAH. I know that male models are not built like Tiki Barber. Work with me. I am distracted. Chris helps me out by letting us know that “everyone was looking all over the place at all these…(big pause and deep breath) disrobing men.” Bravo knows their audience because there are never so many gratuitous shots of the female models. Kevin appears to be the only straight guy so he’s not impressed. Steven finally gets when his straight friends are jealous of his hanging around with hot girls. Elisa won’t look at her model undressing so she misses out on the fun. She says that her boyfriend is the only one she’s “fitted on intimately”, whatever that means, and she “he’s the only male I choose to touch.“ (Kmanpat: “I’ll touch her model! Pick me pick me!“) Ricky has to drape the muslin on his model, he‘s so far behind, and Sweet P has to start over. Jillian has to redo everything too.

Tim’s second visit and the room seems deadly silent. He asks them to gather round, and he has a special guest. In walks an Asian woman, who is Ginny Barber, Tiki’s wife. She’s going to critique their work. Oo, extra pressure. She looks fab. Christian likes Asians because “Asians are fierce.“ I would argue that a lot of Asians are introverted, judging from, you know, normal Asians like my family and not, say, Kimora Lee. But I like to be fierce so I’ll let it slide for now. Jack has a vest/shirt/pants combo which sounds good. Ricky has a 3 piece suit. Apparently Tiki likes layering. Ricky feels in danger from all the work he still has to do. Kevin is making a pocket square! Clinton Kelly would be so proud. And a double vent in the jacket, to account for his bubble butt. Ginny says that Carmen’s jacket is too casual and is too Member’s Only. That’s those 80’s jackets with the band collar, for those of you not old enough to picture that. But she doesn’t have enough fabric, or time, to fix it.

Kevin is making a vest, not enough time for a jacket. Frantic working. Ricky is totally lost. Carmen sings and Ricky tells her to shut up, and she says she’s two minutes away from snapping, then he tells her to snap if she wants to, so she calls him a bitch and says she can‘t snap because he told her to shut up, and it kind of seems like something like happen but nothing does. Everyone is pissed and stressed and panicking. You can tell when they go home, they look exhausted.

Christian gets Jack to give him a piggyback ride into the workroom. (Kmanpat: “SO not worthy.“) Ricky is going balls-out “because if you go for it and fall on your ass, fall as hard as you can.” Jack is scrapping the vest due to time. They seem to have 3.5 hours in the morning. Weird. That is so much time. Carmen doesn’t even know if she has time for the shirt. Tim comes in to confirm they actually only have 2 hours. As the models come in much working commences. Kit’s model pretends like she stuck him with the needle. Hee. Ricky puts his model to work putting buttons on the shirt. Sweet P’s shirt is too small but the neck is huge. It doesn’t even have a collar, but Chris says there’s way worse stuff going down. Actually, looking at it again, when she’s talking about it, it doesn’t even have buttons. Mm, delicious boys. Ricky is using pins to hem things. Sweet P has a mental breakdown and tries to style something to hide the neckline. Carmen is seriously out of time. She drapes the shirt fabric around his chest under the jacket because that’s as much time as she had to make the shirt.

Tiki is back to guest judge. Jillian: 3 piece black suit with a black and white print shirt that looks hot and well made. Carmen: looks like crap, there’s no shirt and the jacket is lame. It’s only fastened at the waist so it looks really dated, and the model has a stupid hat on. Christian: the jacket has weirdly shaped lapels but the shirt is good. It’s got an asymmetrical neckline that is interesting. Kit: blazer and shirt, it looks OK if boring. Rami: now that jacket is Member’s Only. He thinks it looks youthful. Sweet P: the neck is huge, the rest of the shirt isn’t that great, the sleeves are way too short, and the pants make his hips look huge. Steven: looks hot, pants and a thin sweater. I realize I haven’t been listing colors, because they’ve all been in the khaki/navy/light blue palette. Not very exciting. Victorya: awesome pants, white jacket with a black collar but he looks like a chef. Kevin: pants vest shirt, tie, very sweet, like Nick’s outfit from season 2. It‘s got that same dark suit/colored shirt combo, only in purple and not pink. Chris: all dark, the jacket has no collar and a zipper. Jack: pants and a shirt, but it looks really well made, in a pink pinstripe pants and a pink striped top. Ricky: the suit ended up looking pretty good, but you can see the pins. You can see them sparkling. Elisa: crewneck shirt and vest and pants. It looks fine.

Jillian, Christian, Rami, Steven, Victorya, Chris, and Elisa are safe. Tiki tells Kit he likes her look; it’s conservative but has interest. It’s a fleece blazer, which looks cool. Kors says the fleece makes it not suck. Sweet P’s is messy but it has style. Heidi snipes that she let her model walk down there all messed up. Kors says at least her tie doesn’t suck, for all that it should be on someone who‘s 7‘3“. Kors loves Jack’s, and so does Tiki. Jack and his model look disturbingly similar. They could be brothers or cousins. Nina complains that he only has two pieces, but Heidi points out that two boring safe pieces are better than a bunch of crap. Nina calls out Ricky on the pins. Tiki would look like a fool, he says. Nina doesn’t even like the colors, calling them dull and boring. Tiki likes Kevin’s pocket square. Kors asks him to take off the pin holding the vest together, and then says they would never have known he couldn‘t put the button in. Heidi is bitchy for no reason, saying she wouldn‘t want Seal walking around like that. Kevin argues that Seal would look awesome, and I would tend to agree. Heidi just says it‘s more David Beckham than Tiki Barber. Woman, he just said he likes it. Were you not listening? Tiki says he’d wear it with a different shirt, which kind of defeats the purpose, but I think he should win this argument, so point for him. Carmen’s jacket is too short; he says everyone will only look at his ass. (Kmanpat and I: “Yes, and?“) Heidi laughs and Kors teases her for thinking the same thing we are. They make Carmen remove the blue fabric so her model is half naked. Kors says the crotch is insane. He has to once a season. I think it’s in his contract. He thinks this is a time management problem.

Time to talk about people while they‘re not around. Good: Kevin, who had a defined look. Jack, who didn’t take on more than he could finish, but had interest. Kit, whose outfit was versatile and the fleece jacket was unique. Bad: Sweet P. Nina just shakes her head. Kors at first thought she did it on purpose, with the short sleeves, and what not. Carmen, her outfit sucked all around. Kors wants to see clothes, not “it could have been“. Ricky, also not finished at all. Heidi says maybe they all thought they were better than they really are. Hmm.

Kevin is in. Jack wins. He’s getting his design on the Today Show. Yay! Kit is also in. Sweet P is saved, I guess because she at least finished her shirt, for all that it was ill-fitting. Both Carmen and Ricky didn’t finish their garments. Carmen is out. Man. I thought she’d get further than that. She’s good with leaving because she doesn’t do menswear, so I guess it’s not as much of a blow. She’s glad with what she’s learned.

Next time: Tim is not alone. Ricky and Victorya have a fight, and Jillian and Rami also. I guess it’s another
Clicky clicky

"Don't mess with the Pie Hos!"

Awesome. Also awesome: Molly Shannon pretending to have a stutter, and then taking a stupid scene that involves a very fake bird attack and hamming it up as only she can, thereby making it hilarious.

Less awesome: implying that you can get fingerprints off of a marble table using flour and fruit roll-ups. Clicky clicky

Why do you always want America to choose?

So I'm watching "Beauty and the Geek", rooting for Sam and Nicole because girl geeks rule, and all of a sudden they're like, this season America gets to choose. And my first reaction was, "Don't let America choose! America is stupid!"

Before anyone sends me nasty email, let me clarify. I like America and all, but the people who live here don't always use their intelligence. A person is smart, but people are stupid. And I've seen a lot of hate for Sam and Nicole for no other reason than that it's supposed to be girl beauties and boy geeks and therefore they shouldn't be there. I haven't seen very many solid reasons. But believe me, I'm using my 10 votes for Sam and Nicole. Although, if Dave and Jasmine win, that would be OK too.

And for anyone who still doubts my declaration, let me just say: RUPERT.

ETA: I told you: stupid America. Clicky clicky

Monday, November 26, 2007

"How are you feeling, Andre?" "I'm feeling Soviet."

That was hilarious. I still don't like Andre that much but "I'm feeling Soviet"? Classic. Also I'm changing my mind about VJ. Not that I don't like his skirting the rules and getting praised for it. But he's kind of turning into That Guy and I always root against That Guy. So when he was battling Andre on the treadmill, I wanted him to trip or something. And I wanted the "alliance" to get rid of him but they seem inept. I'm sad for Pickel. I like Pickel. :( Clicky clicky

Sunday, November 25, 2007

All "Sex in the City" ever did was make me want shoes.

So I've only gotten to watch "Project Runway" today, Sunday, because I was at home and my parents would rather watch "CSI: New York". I already knew what happened, since I read some recaps, but I think I agree with the decisions. Victorya's dress looks like her other dress she made LAST week, and if Marion had managed to pull off his sketch, it would have been so much better. I don't hate Sarah Jessica Parker, I don't think she's the great fashionista that she's made out to be, but she seems OK. I did notice that when she was telling them about selling the design with her line, she said it "might be" sold as part of her fall line. So it wasn't for certain, although someone posted photos of the winning dress at some store so I guess it panned out. My personal favorite was Ricky's, though.

Also, I imagine that Chris's reaction for not getting picked for designing is what Kayne's reaction would have been if Miss America didn't pick him. Just as entertaining. But I think Ricky holds the most potential for Andre-style emotional flailing. And I enjoy how Christian's mouth writes checks his skillz can't cash. At least he owned up to it. Clicky clicky

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Project Runway recap delay

This afternoon I'm flying home, and I'm not sure when I'll be able to watch "Project Runway" or recap it at all. I'll try to get some comments up or maybe a short recap but it might be next week before I get anything done. Clicky clicky

Noah Bennet's power is being badass.

I didn't think they would really shoot him, and then they did, and I totally bought it. I really thought they had killed him, and I yelled at the TV "That is unacceptable! No freaking way!" Mohinder actually shot someone? No more badass HRG? I guess I should have known. But I am glad they brought him back around. You know he's busting out of that place.

This episode was back to last season's quality, in that I yelled at the TV and also bit my fingernails with the tension. Clicky clicky

Monday, November 19, 2007

Why you should never drink while on TV

I am a big fan of surprise challenges. Well…OK, maybe not all surprises. When you get a challenge and then the host non-chalantly says, “Oh, by the way, you also have to do this,” sometimes that’s a little much. Make an outfit describing the person who owns this dog, under budget, under the time limit, and oh, by the way, make some clothes for the dog too. You don’t need to make clothes for the dog. On the other hand, when the contestants “get the night off” and they buy that (making me think that they’ve never watched a reality show before) and then the hosts show up to shout Surprise! Party’s over! Make new clothes out of what you’re wearing/new dishes out of leftovers/remember what happened at the party! I very much enjoy that.

So when I heard that on “America’s Most Smartest Model” they were going to have a surprise challenge I thought that would be hilarious, but it ended up being sad. It’s Daniel’s birthday and Mary Alice told them they could go out for drinks, and Rachel ended up getting pretty drunk, and a lot of them were drinking. And then there were random agents/casting directors wandering around seeing if they could act coherently and network. The models didn’t know it was a challenge until the end of the evening. I don’t like the explanation that “You always have to be on and be aware of who you’re meeting because you might let your chance for your big break slip through your fingers.” If Andrea thought that guy was hitting on her, maybe he was. If he’s trying to hard to be tricky, then that’s what he gets. If you’re not up front about why you’re talking to someone, that’s pretty unprofessional. Although, Daniel’s tantrum was pretty extreme. I felt bad that he had to work with the ostrich the next day in the photo shoot, because ostriches are uncooperative. All the animals were trouble somehow except for the horse. And Pickel’s chicken. Hilarious. I love Pickel. And I have to give reluctant points to VJ for figuring out that there wouldn’t be so many agents at the bar if something wasn’t going on. He’s obviously watched a lot of reality television, so I have to admit he may be “playing the villain”, which is what people say they’re doing so they can turn up the douchebaggery.

Clicky clicky

Thursday, November 15, 2007

I love when my shows crossover

So I'm watching "Pushing Daisies" last night, and during the credits all of a sudden I see the name Joel McHale. I love Joel McHale. He hosts "The Soup" on E! which is what "Talk Soup" became. Ah, "Talk Soup". Greg Kinnear making fun of talk show guests and hosts and letting his crew make comments and laugh on camera. That's what taught me that sometimes mocking TV was better than just watching TV. There was one episode where he was talking about some random thing and all of a sudden he looks up and dives out of his chair. Then an entire box of plastic spoons rains down on the chair. It was hilarious. No one could match Greg Kinnear although Hal Sparks came kind of close. Now Joel mocks talk shows, reality TV, QVC, whatever they feel like.

In case you're interested, Joel played a polygamist dog breeder who died when he drank some poisoned coffee and then stabbed himself on an ornate dog brush. You heard me.

PS: I know there is a link that makes it look like there is more to this article. Some articles are long so I wanted to have a cut and not clutter up the front page, but now every article has that link even if the whole article is on the front page. It took me most of a morning to figure out how to do that because I am not a coder, and I have no idea how to fix it; it involves messing with the page template or something. Just treat it as a permalink. Sorry. Clicky clicky

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Project Runway 11/14/07--"Sew Me What You Got" summary

Well, it’s about damn time. “Project Runway” is back after a very long time away. I have to admit that I’ve lost some interest because of the break. Hopefully it’ll be fine and there will be good drama and crazy fashion.
More after the jump.

Arrival time. Rami is first; he has a studio in LA and he’s made clothes for people like Jessica Alba. He meets Chris in the apartments (not Atlas this year). Chris dresses drag queens. Like, seriously. Anyone who needs a crazy over-the-top costume that no one in their right mind would ever wear, he’s the guy. He’s made an outfit out of lettuce. Christian is very fey and name drops people as he introduces himself. He says that he’s “kind of fierce”. Yeah. It helps if you don’t sound like a 15 year old girl when you say that. He tells everyone that he sleeps on the floor at home because he‘d rather pay for clothes, and his roommates look disturbed. Carmen used to model, and she looks like it, but her hair now is crazy. It’s tall and 80’s. Jillian is wearing what looks like a figure skating outfit. She works for Ralph Lauren but now she wants to make her own stuff. She says she’s not going home. Yeah. She and Carmen plot to take over the bathroom before anyone gets there. Just then Kit shows up and kind of giggles at everything. Kevin looks like Joey Fatone; he’s designed jeans but he’s branching out and mentions straight designers are more prevalent now, I guess to justify himself. Jack is very hot. Steve works in Chicago for the Museum of Science and Industry. He draws also and his video is very self-conscious although I did giggle when he showed the naked man he had been sketching and he lamented that he lost the guy‘s phone number. He says he just missed being cast last year. Simone comes in and then Elisa, who makes marionettes. And costumes to perform with the puppets. Marion is also cute. Ricky has a leather hat. Sweet P introduces herself. I‘m sorry, but her name makes me not want to talk to her. She started her business two years ago, and now she’s broke so she has to make some money. On one arm she has a tattoo of “Sweet P” and on the other she has “Mean P“. OK, that’s entertaining. They’re in the Gotham apartments this time, and they have notes to meet Heidi and Tim at Bryant Park.

Simone introduces herself and talks about her unique vision and whatever. Then she explains why Bryant Park is important for fashion, which, we know. The designers descend on a table with champagne and start drinking without waiting for anyone. Marion designs clothes out of his flower shop. Jack makes active wear? That’s what the graphic says. He wants to work for himself. Victorya has that ageless look many Asian women have. She is an overachiever. Oh my gosh, Asian overachiever! None of my relatives would ever do well in school and be nerds! Just kidding, my uncle was 4th in his class and his sisters call him “the stupid one”. Kit says that “Kit Pistol” is her alias. I am not sure I like her clothes but they do fit the name Kit Pistol. She says “Life is too short to have on a bad outfit.“ Hee. Ricky designs lingerie. His hat is like, black mesh. It is exactly what you would see on someone dressing up in black leather to go to a gay bar. He started in New York as a dancer but now fashion is his life and he’s in tears about it. Heidi and Tim bust in on the party and demand attention. For once, Heidi is not pregnant. She also announces that there will be 3 finalists this year, so none of that “you are all so awesome we decided you can all have collections“ nonsense. Tim welcomes everyone. Then he says they raise the bar every season, so they are the strongest group ever (just like last year was the strongest ever). Once Heidi establishes that they’ve been having fun, she tells them fun time is over. Tim says this time they won’t be making clothes out of random stuff (aw!), but they will be using tents. Across the grass there are those cheap ass collapsible tents. All the designers, and me, think they have to make clothes out of tent fabric, which might be plastic for all they know. But inside, where they can’t see, are dozens of samples. They even took the time to drape white fabric so when you look in the open door, all you see is white. So it’s not just the tent fabric. $50,000 worth of fabric from Mood for them to choose from. Sweet P has taken off her shoes. Now they make them run across the grass to fight for fabric, and I wanted so badly to see Tim lean backwards like Phil does on “Amazing Race” but he doesn’t. Ricky runs “like a Mexican running to the border”. Kit says she spied some plaid, but Kevin also is running for it. Kevin wins the race. Poor Chris is the very last. Sweet P is just pulling random crap that looks good. Chris says that the stuff he wanted was left behind anyways. Elisa is staining the silk chiffon with grass stains as Tim looks on in horror. No, really. She’s got the fabric on the grass and she’s grinding it into the turf with her knees. There is one lone fabric sample left behind: some fake fur.

Everyone unloads their stuff at Parsons. Tim comes in to remind them to use the outfit to show who they are as a designer. They have until 1am, and it’s about 11:55am right now. Tim says to make it work and everyone applauds. Victorya talks about the pressure to put yourself into one outfit. Ricky admits that he didn’t need all his fabric for his baby doll dress with lingerie overtones. Simone does vintage. Rami drapes to make a feminine but edgy dress. Elisa says she’s making a mythical gown. This involves folding the fabric like a fan, and then taking scissors to it in a random fashion. Also she is using words like “avant-garde”. When she’s done cutting it looks like the edge of the fabric got caught in a thorn bush, but it’s what she wants since she wants magic flowing out of the back of the dress. She sews using herself as the dress form and Chris kind of is freaked. Christian makes fun of her “rain goddess” strangeness. You have emo bangs and a vest. Shush. Jillian says it has to be elegant and sophisticated. Kit thinks the judges might be a little confused by her clothes. Steve is classic and pared down. Carmon wants to borrow pinking shears with a different shape and she is the first one to flirt with Jack. She says he looks like a superhero, and someone (a girl) asks if she’s see his abs (it could be ass, either way). He reminds them he’s in the room but you know he likes it. Plus, how many superheroes are naked? There are mostly-naked pics of him on the internet.

Tim comes to visit. Rami’s dress is gorgeous, but Christian thinks it’s been done. Christian’s top is cute, with plaid, and Tim tells him it’s not symmetric and he’s been meticulous with it everywhere else. Heh. He pretends he did that on purpose. Simone talks about color contrast, but she has a lot of finishing to do. She’s gotten a little lost but she thinks it’ll get done. A new development: no Macy’s wall. Now it’s Elisa begins to talk about body conscious and…oh God. There’s a train, but it’s like what Santino would do: tack a bunch of random crap onto the garment for impact. Bleh. She thinks she’s done, and she’s heard Tim’s argument, but she doesn’t want to compromise. Chris is all, uh, WTF? The edges aren’t done, the train is made of 6 different fabrics and none of them go together. And I can’t find the grass stains. Elisa declares she’s done and takes a nap. Lots of frantic working. Someone says “don’t go into fear box”. Finally the day is over and everyone can go home.

Next morning. Gratuitous shot of Jack in boxer briefs! Chris and Christian giggle about how other people aren’t done. Christian’s hair doesn’t look that bad half done and not all spiked and whatever. Elisa does yoga and talks about her finishing. I bet this means she gets done. Upon further inspection, Carmen has cornrows on the sides of her head, and then the rest up like a Mohawk. But in her interview she has two short pigtails on top of her head. Tim gives them their two hours to fit models and all that stuff. The wall does have fabulous shoes on it. Chris is very pleased with his model, who looks kind of like Camille. Elisa is “hand measuring” her model. A lot of models are praising the clothes to the designers. Chatty this season. Simone has to stitch her model into the dress. Carmen gasps at something, but we’re not shown what. Elisa has her model do a test walk, and discovers that her model can’t walk in the dress because of the stupid train. She says she had an impulse to chop it all off but she didn’t. Christian is catty about how other people suck. I have the feeling I might need a macro for that.

Aa! Heidi’s been tanning with Kors! She’s all orange! The winner this season can sell their line on Nice. Kors and Nina are here, and the guest judge is Monique Lhuillier. Notice that Heidi says the highest score will win but not that the lowest score will be out. Elisa’s dress is great from the top about to her knee. It’s turquoise and has flutter sleeves and it’s fitted. Once you get to the knee there’s that ridiculous train in the back. The poor model has to hold the train up so she can walk and she still trips on it anyways. Chris has gorgeous eggplant satin and the train attached to a bracelet. The bodice is a dark olive green and a print, and it twists into a halter top. Kevin has a short skirt with black pinstripes, a red stripe along the hem, and then this weird silver tin foil bodice. Sweet P has made a poofy dress. It‘s not a bubble skirt, but it flares out from an empire waist and then the hem is about the same width as a pencil skirt, so it emphasizes the hips. It‘s also in an odd khaki eyelet fabric with red underneath. Simone’s bodice is not fitted well and it’s very simple. It looks like there’s also a jacket that’s just a rectangle with armholes and a tie. Jillian’s dress is an orange halter and bobble skirt. Color is great; it looks exactly like something she would wear. Christian’s jacket has puffy 80s sleeves and the skirt is sort of a bubble hem but it‘s longer in front and flatter. Victorya has a simple black dress, very loose, with a big silver flower. It’s got regular straps but then some horizontal straps, like her bra straps slipped down. Rami’s gray gown is draped goddess style and it’s beautiful. Ricky presents a very simple dress with shiny stripes. I can see someone like Paris wearing it. Jack has a black and white print, a halter top, with a turquoise sash. It‘s really cute. Marion has a sheer top that looks like lingerie, and an asymmetrical hem in a much heavier fabric that looks almost like vinyl tablecloth material. Steven has a black suit but it’s cut very well. In the back of the jacket it looks like there are ruffles lined with another fabric. Carmen has black wide-legged pants and a shiny gold jacket, with a melon ruffled blouse. The blouse looks like it‘s got a tie or a huge flower thing up at the neckline. Kit has a black print with a red bodice. One shoulder of the bodice has a ruffle sleeve on it, but the other side is cut underneath the model’s breast. So the overall effect is that the model’s boob is hanging out. Perhaps that is what Kit Pistol stands for.

Heidi has Chris, Kevin, Sweet P, Jillian, Jack, Marion, Steve, Carmen, and Kit step forward. They’re all safe. Aww, Jack didn’t win? Or Jillian? The rest of them get grilled. Christian says he was going off a sculptural European piece. Monique likes the volume, Kors says it’s polished, Nina says the fabric is boring but the siholutte is great. Simone wants to express a “modern romantic” feeling. Without the jacket you can see the poor construction, and now that the model‘s not moving with the jacket on it looks terrible. She ran out of time. Kors thinks that with the jacket she looks like she dressed in the dark. Rami gets lots of praise. Kors has to add in that the flower on her shoulder is “a little mother of the bride”. Ricky explains that he does lingerie, and Nina thinks it’s boring. So does everyone else (including Heidi--did she used to talk that much?). Victorya gets some praise for how sweet it is. Victorya herself is wearing a sack. No, I am serious, it’s a sack. Kors makes fun of the straps, like she can’t lift her arms, but then he says some women will bleed for fashion. Huh? I can see bleeding for shoes, since shoes that don’t fit can actually make you bleed. How will a dress make you bleed? He says nothing about the flower. So, big shiny silver flower = OK, small flower in the same fabric as the dress = mother of the bride. Elisa babbles about her dress being alive, water, air, a haiku of a cut and Kors laughs at her. There are sound effects. Not from the editors, but from Elisa herself. Nina points out that the train drags the fabric down. The top of the dress is wonderful but the train is stupid and she should have stopped. She admits she had the impulse to cut it off. Yeah, should have done that.

Victorya’s dress had some flirtiness and charm. Christian had intricate detail, it was well made, even the back was great. Rami knows what he’s doing, and they want to see more. Simone’s dress, on the other hand, was very boring and poorly made. Elisa just did some crazy stuff. Heidi says her model looked like she was pooing fabric. Hee! Backstage Elisa is tearing up her train. Ricky’s dress is OK but very simple and it doesn’t wow them very much. Heidi and Kors agree it’s not good enough.

Victorya is in. Now for the winner: Rami. He gets immunity for the next round. Christian is in. Ricky is in. Simone and Elisa are left. Simone’s dress was too boring and it was sewn poorly. Elisa was creative but her dress needed serious editing. Simone is out. Oh good, at least one more episode of Elisa. She sounds kind of like Daniel Franco when she talks. Simone thinks she said what she wanted to say, and she didn’t think she’d be the first to go. She thought she’d be in the final 3, but she seems confident that she can make it to Fashion Week on her own.

This season: everyone laughs and stuff, there’s a special guest that people cheer for, bitchery, Jack has something to share (I know what it is and it sucks). Some judges slamming people but no really awesome sound bites. That makes me sad.
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Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Meet the fresh meat...uh, designers

Project Runway finally, FINALLY, is starting their new season. I love Project Runway, and I've been on board ever since the first episode and the corn husks. Notice how ever since then they've tried desperately to have another moment of brilliance like Austen's corn husk dress? Yeah. Anyways, now there's a new bunch of people who have probably seen 3 seasons of the show so they ought to know what to expect. This means that everyone will be shocked all the time like they've been living in a hole. Bravo decided to screw us further and not have a "Road to the Runway" episode, I guess because this week's episode of "My Husband Can Do My Job, Only Not Very Well, And I Was Right And Will Never Let Him Forget It" is too important. That pisses me off because supposedly Robert Best was at auditions and I love me some Robert. He's bitchy but funny enough to make up for it (unlike some people, ARI). So below I've listed the designers and my first impressions based on their bios. Bravo also had a fashion show to try to boost ratings and I found that here.

Carmen, 37. She has her own clothing line and business but an architecture education. She's also been a model. She's very well spoken in her interview video. I don't know, I don't have a lot to say about her since she seems competent and low-drama. No Q&A, which is sad, but she has very tall hair in her interview, like, Grace Jones tall. Her clothes include a fabulous green coat and a non-crazy hat.

Chris, 44. AKA Jay 2.0. He's a big guy in leopard print who makes costumes and wigs for Beach Blanket Babylon. This gives me the best vision of his style that I could possibly ever get. I love Jay. This should be good, although in his interview he's very calm and normal. One of the 5 must-have clothing items everyone should have? "Hot man on your arm". Love.

Christian, 21. Just looking at his photo, it says "Look at me! I'm punk!" At least he's designed for Vivienne Westwood and Alexander McQueen, so that backs up his look. He's one of those people that can't follow directions and lists 4 people when asked for 3. He seems flamey but pretty annoying, to be honest. His first model has like 18 layers on and you can see Tim Gunn adjusting his glasses and looking aghast. Christian likes hats.

Elisa, 42. Her bio is super long for some reason. Also it contains sentences like this: "She built the foundation of her work around 'The Hunger World,' a pseudo-fictitious world of marionettes brought to life and mythos through writing, drawing, painting, performance, installation, and fashion." I have no idea what that means. She's another one who can't count to 3, but she seems level-headed in her video, if kind of hippie. Her daughter is Calliope and all her models in the fashion show come out in weird clothes made of unbleached cloth and barefoot. I rest my case.

Jack, 38. Jack is hott. AND he went to UC Berkeley AND Parsons AND he says that his fashion must is "A sugar daddy." Hee. Oh, AND he's a swimmer. Yummy. It worries me slightly that he says you should show off your tits and ass, in that Kors is going to clutch his pearls and say "tootie" in a horrified tone or something. His clothes are very dramatic and I like them.

Jillian, 26. Jillian looks like a bitch. Just her photo and her facial expression. This isn't automatically a bad thing. But she's using phrases like "personal taste level." Seeing her collection, apparently her personal taste level is low enough for shiny silver mini-skirts that are so short that you can see the tops of the model's stockings, and also shiny silver leggings. I don't have a lot to say about her Q&A but she does know how to count to 3 so that's some points, and also I want the coat from her collection. The first one, not the foofy silver one.

Kevin, 30. Apparently Joey Fatone moonlights as a fashion designer. That may have to be his nickname. He says the one thing about him that would shock people is that he's straight. His clothes seem pretty cute although ankle boots + short shorts = not so much.

Kit, 26. Her clothing line is called "Kit Pistol" which I kind of like. One of her outfits is fringed leg warmers, shiny tights with stripes, black body suit with a gang of random buttons on the top of the bodice. I don't like that as much. I will say that even though I don't like her clothes they do fit the name of "Kit Pistol".

Marion, 39. Marion is a boy. He feels everyone should own thin stretch suspenders. Yeah. Also he says he's a pyromaniac and wishes Tim Gunn was his mentor. Not quite as crazy as Crazy Vincent, but there's promise. All his clothes are partially OK but partially wickety wack. He also claims that he used to tell his grandmother how to sew.

Rami, 31. He seems to do a lot of red carpet and he did some stuff for the "America's Next Top Model" ad campaign. Seems promising. His first dress looks like he wrapped the model in tin foil and it wasn't long enough, and then the second dress was fabulous. Although it seemed to have pockets. Long black evening dress with a mermaid skirt and pockets? Dusty rose long gown with weird draping and a baggy top? I don't know.

Ricky, 35. He's number 12 of 14(!) children who used to be a dancer before starting to design clothes. His bio says he worked on Vera Wang's lingerie line, which, a. I don't know that we've had a lingerie designer before, and b. Vera Wang has a lingerie line? His collection is full of lingerie which is cute.

Simone, 32. Her collection is made out of organic and surplus fabrics, so she might be a hippie. Although when looking at her clothes, it's easy to see why the fabric was surplus, because it's shiny and ugly. In her interview she's wearing the same bizarre half gloves her models were wearing in the fashion show.

Steven, 30. The designers this season seem older and established, as compared to previous seasons. Steven seems to be a designer but also work as a "Textile Preparator" for the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. I'm not sure what that is. But he's from Chicago and says that everyone should own a "cardinal red" trench coat and that is entertaining. His second model is the worst model ever. She is terrible. And his last dress has hoops or something; the model's hips look as wide as mine. AND there's a bustle.

Sweet P, 46. No really, that's what she calls herself. No 46 year old should have such a precious nickname. Especially one they got while in a girl motorcycle club called "Hells Belles". I am predisposed not to like her. Her clothes are foofy. They're loose and flowy and girly, and I guess they're supposed to be playful, but they're just...foofy.

Victorya, 34. Parents, as a teacher, I am begging you to spell your children's names properly. Victorya is from Korea so I will cut some slack but seriously. I'm not getting very much of an impression from her, although her clothes were pretty cute and Camilla (Laura's model from last year) was there looking fabulous as always. All her tops had a flutter sleeve, but a long one, like, halfway down to the model's elbow.
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