Top Chef 2/7/19--"Hoop Dreams" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: we went to Nashville because I guess Kentucky isn't actually as great as everyone was claiming. Anyway, there was a Quickfire that involved the Grand Ole Opry and cooking from a rider. Adrienne won, even though she was still sick. The Elimination challenge was to make a dish based on a music memory. Michelle got emotional and won. I'm not saying she won because she was the most emotional, but I think the judges were moved and also her dish was really good so that was that. David was sent home, for oversalting everything. Kelsey oversalted everything too, but she I guess had “recognizable” food, instead of clam salad which Tom decided he was confused by? We all know salad greens and chicken and croutons are not chicken pot pie, but fine. (click for more)

On Last Chance Kitchen, Brandon and David had to pick three unlabeled ingredients and make something. David managed to successfully use ground up sugar cookies so he beat Brandon to continue on.

Michelle says she got some closure by making this dish in honor of her dad and winning. Eddie is back to freaking out after being in the bottom for two challenges.

We're back in Kentucky. Ed Lee is here. I liked him when he was on. He points out you don't need to win Top Chef to be successful, but you should win. Padma starts talking about Fort Knox. The Quickfire is to “work together” to open a clear plastic box full of bouillon cubes. Get it, bouillon, gold bullion...sigh. This reminds me of the stupid Texas finale where they had to chip ingredients out of ice. Anyway, there are four clues to four tools or ingredients, and each one has a number. The four numbers are the combination. Then they have to make a dish, and their only seasoning is the bouillon cubes.

35 minutes. These clues are terrible. I mean, they're pretty easy and the combination is found in four minutes. “The oldest prepared food and slang for money”. It's bread. Now it's time to figure out how to season with bouillon. Eddie claims his nickname is “Eddie Money”. Eric says East African cuisine (the cuisine he specializes in) uses bullion a lot. He also says the vegetable bouillon is the lightest flavor, as opposed to beef and chicken. Michelle is frying smelt. Kelsey makes ramen at home and puts extra bouillon in it for extra salt. Bleh. Sara is making broth. You know, I buy these soup mixes, the kind where you have all the dried vegetables and you add like a pound of chicken. And this brand always calls for water and bouillon cubes instead of stock. And I always buy chicken stock instead. Eddie blanches his scallops for like 30 seconds and lets them cool at room temperature. He promises they will be perfect. Justin put too much bouillon so he dumps butter in. Adrienne burns most of her croutons.

Michelle: frito misto with beef bouillon achiote puree and tarragon aioli. Achiote is also known as annatto. Sara: roasted monkfish with chicken bouillon and vegetable bouillon stock. Eddie: gold caponata with mint and poached bay scallops, with chicken and vegetable bouillon. Caponata is a relish-type condiment made of eggplant. Adrienne: panzanella salad, herb vinaigrette and wood roasted croutons with vegetable bouillon. Eric: grilled Chinese eggplant with hanger steak and vegetable bouillon. Kelsey: “bruschetta meets BLT” toast, tomatoes, pancetta, and vegetable bouillon. Kelsey. You do not need to name everything. You made bruschetta with pancetta in it. Justin: chorizo, clams, verjus with chicken bouillon, crispy potatoes and vegetable bouillon crostini. Verjus is like vinegar.

Michelle's dish didn't taste like bouillon, and Justin was way too salty. Sara's broth was very nice, and Eddie managed to cook his scallops properly. Eric also managed to use the bouillon to flavor his eggplant so that Ed actually liked eggplant. Eddie is the winner! He gets an advantage in the Elimination challenge.

This Elimination challenge involves 3 on 3 somehow. But wait! There are seven people left! Eddie's advantage is that he doesn't have to do anything, just hang out with the judges and pass through to the next round. He doesn't believe Padma at first, but then says he's pretty stoked. Padma lets them make their own teams. Adrienne, Justin, and Eric, vs. Sara, Michelle, and Kelsey. Hmm. Eddie stands in the most awkward fashion possible as teams are chosen. They're going to go to a basketball stadium (I don't know shit about basketball, let alone college basketball) and serve fans. Oh also eliminated contestants will be here to “help”. There are three rounds, and the team will decide which dish goes against which dish on the other team. So like the All-Stars challenge where it was head to head on the tennis court and Jamie never made anything and Spike tried to pretend he wasn't planning to put her up against a really strong competitor to “waste” the good competitor. Only 15 minutes to plan before shopping, and three hours tomorrow for prep.

Kelsey insists on a theme. Michelle wants to make ribs, as something fun. Sara suggests chicken and waffles. Not sure what the theme is. Meanwhile Adrienne is also saying chicken and waffles. Justin wants to do sliders. Or maybe wings? No, Eric is doing the wings and also a vegetable confetti slaw. Sara brags that she makes the best fried chicken, and then says she marinates it in hot sauce and buttermilk, then dredges it in flour and deep fry. That...sounds like most fried chicken? Not that weird? Kelsey is making dumplings. Eddie has also come to Whole Foods, and he is currently eating sushi and drinking kombucha up in the front. Ha! Sara buys pancake mix, so she doesn't have to make waffles from scratch. Adrienne figures out from this that she's probably also making chicken and waffles (Sara refuses to confirm this), but Adrienne is making her waffles from scratch so she doesn't care. I'm sure I'm supposed to be offended Sara is buying pancake mix, but Adrienne is just going to show her up so, natural consequences. Justin can't find the slider buns he wants, so he decides to just serve the patty naked. Or open faced? He's also making Juicy Lucy's, which are burgers stuffed with cheese, and which I'm guessing take twice as long to assemble as a regular patty.

Oh, we remembered that we planted gardens! That's it, that's about the length of the segment. Kelsey calls home, and mentions that she's missing a ton of milestones, like her child's first steps, so she can be here. But winning will give him a better life so here she is.

It looks like the eliminated contestants were pre-assigned. Justin's team gets Brian and Caitlin, while Kelsey's team has David and Kevin. Michelle doesn't have time for low and slow ribs, so she's going to quickly braise them in the oven. Eric wants to make lollipops out of his drumettes, so each one has to have frenched bones. Someone asks Brian if he played basketball, since he's tall, and he says he made the church league team. You know, the one everyone makes. Heh.

Tom Time! And Ed. Eric mentions his dad was a big basketball fan, and he passed when Eric was a teenager so he hopes his dad is excited for him to be there. Sara mentions her fried chicken but I hear nothing about waffles except that they exist. Adrienne tells Tom and Ed that she's making chicken and waffles, and Tom's like “So you made your own waffle batter? No box mix here?” Adrienne gives him some major side eye, and then stares directly into the camera with the same expression. I like her. She says she would never come on Top Chef and use box mix! Then she's like well I don't want to throw anyone under the bus, but I may have seen some over on the other team. Oh, don't pretend you didn't want to throw anyone under the bus. Honestly. But please mark here that Tom brought up the very concept of box mix, before Adrienne said that was the other team. Because it comes up later.

Some minor trash talking from Adrienne, which is mostly “I'll see you on the court” which isn't that spicy. Michelle says her ribs don't have the “burntness” she wants, so she's going to keep cooking them on the court. Kelsey doesn't know the order anyone is serving in, but they know Sara wants to go up against Adrienne. Well, Adrienne wants to go first, but Sara's fryer isn't working so they'll have to fry it on the court.

So they filled the stadium and there is a lot of noise and cheerleaders and the mascot and all that. You will be shocked to learn Kelsey was a cheerleader in high school. 30 minutes to get the first dish ready. Padma announces to the crowd that Sara is from Paducah so that causes some noise. Sara says the fryers here are working, but I think she doesn't have enough waffles ready. Kelsey says her dish is basically done so she's going to have to go first. So is Adrienne still going to go first then? You know what, that might not be a bad idea. Adrienne is pretty confident she has the superior dish, so leaving that first impression might work for her.

Kelsey: “Kentucky Proud Dumpling”--with pistou and ponzu. Pistou is like pesto but without pine nuts. Also, they're potstickers. Stop forcing stupid cute names on everything. Adrienne: fried chicken and waffles with bourbon maple syrup and pickled watermelon rind. Both dishes are really great, and they both get lots of praise. But they have to pick, and apparently Kelsey was better. They're potstickers. Whatever. Padma tells the other judges that the chicken and waffles was the best she's had, but Kelsey just used so much “delicacy” and “skill” in making dumplings. First of all, I hope she actually made them all, and second, I didn't realize I disliked Kelsey so much.

Eric: tamarind glazed drummette with herb confetti. Sara: “BBN chicken and waffles”--with coleslaw. BBN means Big Blue Nation, so she's kissing up to the crowd who has no say in who wins. Tom asks her directly if she used box pancake mix, and she looks very shocked and admits she did. Justin starts yelling that they made theirs from scratch and tries to get the crowd to chant “Homemade”. Sara is suddenly very upset that “our group has never played like this before”. You mean this season has no conflict and it's sort of boring? Yeah, that's true. But also, you purposefully named your dish after the team whose stadium you're in so I'm not sure how you feel it's terrible to try to hype the crowd. I guess the name of the dish is not at the expense of the other team. But I also think it's pretty likely at some point someone would have figured out it was a box mix. Remember Tom asked Adrienne about if she was using a box mix, so somewhere along the way he must have known box mix was purchased. I also think it's pretty likely if the situation was reversed she would not do a damn thing to stop her team from taunting someone else. Now the waffle is soft, says Tom. I don't think Tom is above imagining faults with it, knowing it's not from scratch. Or maybe it actually is worse, I don't know. Of course Eric wins.

Eddie is briefly on the Jumbotron and does not notice. Classic Eddie. Sara declares to her team that if they lose she's going home. I really hope that was just a “woe is me” whine and not “you'd better win or it'll be your fault I go home.” Michelle says her ribs don't LOOK like real BBQ ribs, but they are tender and the sauce turned out really well.

Justin: “Juicy Lucy”--with pimento cheese, mustard BBQ sauce, bourbon onions and duck fat braised pork belly. Also it looks like it's just a patty with toppings. Michelle: sweet and sour ribs, “thunder and lightning” cucumbers, with peach and Calabrian chili sauce. They both get praise, but Tom says Michelle's cucumbers could use a little bit more acid. No one cares that there wasn't a bun on the burger. It's unanimous for Justin, as if you couldn't see that coming from a mile away. So Kelsey, Sara, and Michelle lost.

The Stew Room is one of the locker rooms. Sara very quickly says she's not happy because she got heckled because someone threw her under the bus. No, you got heckled because Eric and Justin encouraged the crowd to heckle you. Someone responds with “You mean under the BOX!?!” which, it is not the time. Adrienne apologizes and says she didn't mean to. Oh, you meant to. Sara replies that she didn't know they were playing like that, and it's not like she just dumped box mix out and didn't do anything to it. So what did you do to it? Because we didn't hear anything about it. I know, I know, editing. It's possible she did a ton and said so, many times, and they cut all that part out so she would look bad. Sara passive-aggressively says how she added a ton of stuff to the mix, but that's OK, however you want to play it, that's fine. Adrienne fires back that she's not the one who bought waffle mix. Adrienne thought they were just joking around but apparently it wasn't viewed as such. Justin says something stupid about recipes, I'm pretty sure offering to send Sara his waffle recipe, and Sara says to quit being an asshole. I think, they bleeped it. Yeah, she's being pissy about it, so maybe it's not the best idea to double down on the jokes. But how much of this is Sara being pissed someone found out she took a shortcut, and blaming everyone but herself? You guys have seen how cocky she's been this whole season.

Judges' Table. Tom tells everyone he liked how they made food that was appropriate to the venue, but elevated. That's true, and they don't always manage that. Adrienne lost her head-to-head, but her chicken and waffles were delicious. Graham especially liked how her waffle was more savory and stood up to the chicken. Eric frenching the bones and making lollipops made his wings way better and set them apart. They stayed crispy and clung to the sauce. Justin's condiments all blended really well. The winner is Eric. Nice. But they all win $5,000. Eric's thrilled to make top six.

Loser Gong. Padma tries to get Sara excited about serving in her favorite team's stadium. She cries and says it's a lifetime dream. The chicken was good, but the waffle wasn't crispy and it was bland. Also, I feel like even if Adrienne hadn't said a word, someone would have told Tom and Padma, and they would have asked leading questions until Sara admitted she took a shortcut. Right? You guys know how this show works. Ed says Sara's chicken was better than Adrienne's, but the whole dish has to work. Michelle makes ribs for her basketball parties. She didn't have enough time to cook them the way she usually does. They were wet, although her BBQ sauce was delicious. Graham says she only had the pickles and the ribs, so both components have to be great, just like with chicken and waffles. Kelsey says this sentence: “I wanted to be very “vegetarian” (air quotes) but there is bacon and sausage fat in them.” OK then they aren't even close to “vegetarian” so don't act like that was your plan and you “accidentally” put in sausage fat. The sauce was good, and I guess they're impressed she made them all herself by hand or whatever. Big deal. Padma dismisses them and thanks Eddie, and someone says “Yeah thanks for nothing.”

Back in the Stew Room, Kelsey says one of them won't be here later, so go ahead and tell them how much they love them now. OK that was cute. Sara is still upset they were egging the crowd on to chant “homemade” or whatever. “These are supposed to be my people!” Well maybe if it's such a moving experience to be here you should have made amazing food and not taken shortcuts. Justin and Eric talk over each other, so I'm not absolutely sure what they said, but I think they're saying Sara would have done the same in their place. I think I agree. I mean, she was already trying to get the crowd on her side with naming her chicken and waffles BBN or whatever. Like she wouldn't have said “Box mix isn't how we do things HERE IN KENTUCKY” or something similar. Right? I'm not off base on my impression of her personality? Sara is upset they said she made shitty food, and Justin doesn't know where she'd get that from. OK don't be an idiot. Come on. Kelsey demands they apologize because her feelings are hurt, which is stupid. Make them apologize because they were jerks, but she made a choice. I do think they need to shut up though, at this point. It's over and done with and continuing to rag on her isn't doing anything. Sara continues to be upset Adrienne told the judges she was using a box mix. Did you think no one would notice? We all know some production assistant would bring it up. First season didn't get away with box wedding cake. Adrienne calls her “Mama” which I guess is a nickname but Sara is like “Don't 'mama' me right now, call me Sara.” Adrienne is like, fine, SARA, but nothing I did was out of line because everything you put on that cart is public knowledge, so how is it MY fault that YOU bought waffle mix? THANK YOU. This is what I'm saying. Sara says it's not, except I didn't call you out whenever you—and then she gets interrupted so I am not sure where that was going. Whenever Adrienne did what? Someone says Adrienne didn't call her out, and then Justin is like, it's just a playful joke, and Sara starts to cry again and says “It was a playful joke that ended up getting me heckled by 4200 people.” That's fair, but also that part of it had nothing to do with Adrienne. And also, like I said, I have no doubt that Sara would encourage “her” crowd to heckle anyone who had fucked up that badly. She's just upset it happened to her.

Also, apparently Sara has been using shortcuts all season, frozen foods and whatnot. Of course, when you're making a big stew or something and one component is frozen peas, no one notices. As opposed to, you put two things on the plate and one was not good. But with that context, I'm not surprised Adrienne threw her under the bus and then Justin and Eric egged the crowd on. It's still a little dirty, but far more understandable. Thanks Reddit for the insider info!

The judges get on with it. Sara's chicken was perfect, but Tom just had a problem with the waffle. Michelle made something everyone wanted, but you have to nail it. The ribs were soggy. Tom says the choice is soggy waffles or soggy ribs. Meanwhile Michelle is demanding they lift each other up. At least she's addressing that to Eric and Justin, although she's saying they don't “bully” each other, and this is not even close to bullying. Beverly was bullied. Marcel was bullied, and I don't even like Marcel but that's what happened. This is trash talking that hurt someone's feelings. Michelle demands a group hug from everyone, including Sara, which is pretty dumb but fine. Let's get on with this.

Tom tries to make an analogy about fundamentals in basketball, and then they send Michelle home because of course. This is the only drama all season and you can't get rid of Sara because that gets rid of the drama. Also because it sounds like Michelle made ribs and pickles and they both had problems, as opposed to Sara's good chicken. Sara immediately starts crying and apologizing, because of course all this drama and conflict was completely pointless because Sara is still here. Michelle knows she should have done better.

Next week: KFC, Mohammad Ali, what appears to be a team challenge, which means Sara's insistence that she knows best about Kentucky cuisine rears its ugly head. I predict either Justin or Eric complaining that they can't contradict her because she was so upset last time.

Last Chance Kitchen: Michelle is ready for war. David loves Michelle as a person but he's ready to beat her. She was surprised to be eliminated. Tom says he just wasn't a fan of what she made, so now it's time to make another game day dish. The peanut gallery brings out a tray with a timer on it that says 00:30. David asks if that's 30 minutes or 30 minutes, and Tom says nothing. David says “Chef, you've outdone yourself.” Heh. Tom talks about the shot clock. Today, you'll only have possession of your knives for 30 seconds at a time. One knife in the kitchen, and they have to take turns. David says “Using someone else's knife is like kissing your sister.” Sure. Peanut gallery has to keep track of who should have the knife. David says he'll take the knife second, and start on D. I see. Tom then claims he's helping them by letting them use as much product placement ranch dressing they want. Ugh.

30 minutes total. David runs off and immediately slips and falls on his ass. Meanwhile Michelle breaks a glass spice jar. The peanut gallery collects pom poms and signs. Michelle is not actually cutting anything right now, but is measuring things for pasta. Nini says “I hope she doesn't make pasta, it's only 30 minutes” and then Michelle says she's making pasta. The secret weapon is to vacuum seal the dough to force it to rest faster. David is making meatballs and lavash (crispy flatbread) and “goat cheese ranch mousse”. Bleh. No one has touched a knife. Michelle is making bolognese sauce. This dish doesn't seem very “game day”. Also Brandon asks her what ranch she's using so I guess the ranch thing was an actual requirement. Michelle says game day says “chili” and “chili” is basically a lot like “bolognese”. I guess? But why not just say “chili” in that case? David comes to get the knife and the peanut gallery makes him wait until the shot clock says he can take it. Then Brian sets off an air horn and Kevin and Nini yell at him. Something unexpected: that knife isn't clean when you get it. Also of course David and Michelle aren't delivering the knife so they have to run back and forth. At least not at first. 30 seconds isn't enough time to do anything with a knife and David especially is frustrated. He's started to tear things by hand.

Tom Time! Michelle is making orecchiette pasta salad, I think. David describes “Middle Eastern meatball sub”. He thinks he's done with the knife, and he has to get his lavash in the oven pretty quickly. Michelle is trying to get her water to boil, which I find surprising. In almost all cooking competition shows with strict time limits like this, the contestants get boiling water to start with. You've seen Chopped. You've seen Iron Chef. Those big steaming stock pots aren't just for dramatic effect. We have like two minutes left and Michelle is praying her pasta gets done. Also her bolognese has spicy ranch in it. I think she puts the sauce in the dishes and at the last possible second gets the pasta on top and mixes it.

Michelle: handmade orecchiette with ranch chili ragu and sweet peppers. David: meatball, goat cheese ranch mousse and lavash cracker. Tom knows they're both dying to get back in. Both dishes were great game day dishes. I guess we're calling Michelle's bolognese “chili”. It was a little oily, but the pasta was great and the chili itself had a great flavor. David's lavash turned out really well, but the meatballs weren't mixed. Tom got a big chunk of bread. Michelle wins, and I'm not surprised. David is grateful for the people he's met, even though he's really sad to go. Michelle is ready to go. She would love to go head-to-head against Sara, which I find interesting. I don't know that Sara is the strongest competitor left.