Project Runway All Stars 2/27/19--"All-Inclusive" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: we had a whole episode about JC Penney even though JC Penney has ended their contract with Project Runway and won't produce their clothes or anything. So it's not clear if they even gave out the cash prize for winning the challenge. Anyway, everyone had to pick out three pieces and then cut them up and make an nighttime look. What does “nighttime look” mean? No one knows of course. Biddell won, even though his model looked like she was wearing one of those glider suits like she's BASE jumping. Cynthia made a dress that wasn't particularly “nighttime” and then put an ugly long vest over it so she was sent home.

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Biddell says he and Christina are the last two non-US winners. Sigh. Alyssa has cropped wide legged pants on. It's because she has a sparkly waistcoat and tie and shirt also. This week is about “gender neutral high fashion streetwear.” I don't mind this as an idea, but I feel like what usually happens on this show is women in pantsuits and then someone will put a man in a skirt. Is it really androgynous clothing? Everyone brags about how they will kill it. Also they all have new models: women, men, and non-binary. Interesting. I wonder if someone will whine about having to dress a man. I know it's gender neutral clothing, but sometimes they act like a man's body is beyond their comprehension. ALSO the Academy Awards JUST happened and Billy Porter showed up in a Christian Siriano ballgown/tuxedo combo and there is no way any of you hacks will come anywhere near that.

Anyway, Alyssa also says they won't know who their models are until after they go shopping. They'll just have measurements. So it's possible they'll be able to figure it out based on the measurements, but they won't be sure. And it shouldn't matter anyway, right? Anthony Ryan complains, but it's because he says he likes to make a connection with his client before he makes designs. Michelle sketches a hoodie dress. I told you. She and Biddell brag about how open-minded they are. I'm sure they are, but this producer-forced banter is terrible at the best of times. Right now, with everyone talking about gender and unisex clothing? It just sounds like super fake humblebragging, even if it's all true. Biddell and Michelle buy lace and florals, respectively. So how is that gender neutral? They both argue that those are usually considered feminine, but are they sure they have male models? Because otherwise it's just going to look like women's clothes on a woman. Right? Sean barely finds shoulder pads in time to buy them. Anthony Ryan had to be really stingy on his purchases so hopefully he doesn't run out of fabric.

11 hours to work with today. Everyone reads their model cards with the measurements and tries to guess if they have a man or not. Anthony Ryan, of course, has a model who is 6'4”. I seriously wonder if some PA heard him saying he hoped he bought enough fabric and ran frantically back to the workroom to make sure he had the tallest model. He was going to do a top and shorts, but now he thinks he can't make shorts.

Christina measures Dmitry because he's the same height as her model. Anthony Ryan jokes that he can be his fit model, and Dmitry replies that he's too expensive. Heh. Biddell grabs some black suede booties with shiny gold heels and declares them “gender neutral heels”. I don't think shiny gold heels are neutral? Maybe if the boots were plain. Michelle decides to dye her fabric, because apparently she's been wanting to do artwork or whatever.

Anne shows up. Dmitry is making a trenchcoat, but he's not sure how what he has is going to become a trenchcoat. Sean is making a harness. And rainbow fringe. Sigh. Irina doesn't seem to know what she's making, in that she's pretty sure she's making a...shirt...thing. I guess she's not sure what will go under the jacket she's focused on. Anthony Ryan has a tiny bit of color. Sean decides to shittalk Biddell's T-shirt and he actually hides himself behind his shirt as if he's not miked. Although, his point of “a gender-neutral T-shirt, so original” is valid. Michelle's dyed jacket gets “super grandma wallpaper”. Anne tells Christina not to do a coat. Because Cynthia had a bad coat last week. I'm not sure that should be your criteria.

Model fittings. Anthony Ryan's model is very tall but also looks very much like Anthony Ryan which is hilarious. Sean's model is trans, so he decides to make his design a little more feminine. OK but that's not the point of the challenge? Christina's model loves the outfit so she's thrilled. Anthony Ryan is looking for compromises. Irina is pretty much done, as is Biddell. I would judge it more, but they're still here. Sean offers to help Anthony Ryan tomorrow, but he refuses, saying he'd rather go down in flames on his own. He doesn't want to go home on something he's not proud of.

Runway Day. Christina still has to sew the sleeves to her shirt. Irina has decided to sew herself a dress because that's how far ahead she is. This seems very cocky. Christina comes in, asks Irina what she's doing, and then says in confessional that Irina is on her machine. OK I have never gotten this stupid drama with the machines. There are only seven people left, so it's not like there aren't enough machines. Does it really take that long to thread some other machine? Or set it up? I don't get how pissy people get when someone is on “their” machine. Christina says she needs the machine, but she's kind of quiet (or Irina isn't listening to her) and Irina just kind of says “Hmm?” But like, they're the only two people in the room, is what I'm saying. Literally every other machine is free. Christina's point is that if you know other people aren't done with the actual challenge, maybe respect that they need the machine more than you. Completely true, and yet, there are open machines.

Anyway, eventually Michelle shows up to the room and Christina has to explain that she'll only be a couple of seconds because Irina is using her machine so now Christina is using Michelle's machine and let me point out that Michelle literally walked by three empty machines on her way back there. As Michelle is saying “No worries” Christina says “No it's more just 'cause Irina isn't working on her um, actual...garment.” Irina interviews that it's no one's business what she's doing. Also, they never showed why Irina didn't move. They edited it as if Irina didn't hear Christina say “that's my machine” or whatever she said, and then nothing. So it seems like Christina didn't want to directly confront Irina, and ask her to move, but she's content to talk about her when she's literally right there, and when it's not clear Irina ever understood what the problem was. If you ask me to move, and I don't hear you, and when I say “Hmm?” or something similar you don't clarify, then you don't get to be pissy about it later. Of course, THERE ARE SO MANY OPEN MACHINES JUST SIT AT ANOTHER ONE FFS. Michelle, who you will recall ten seconds ago said “No worries”, now thinks it's total bullshit her machine is in use. Irina points out there's another black machine right there, but Michelle is like, yeah but all my stuff's here. OK so wait. Why is Christina at a machine full of someone else's stuff when there's a free machine she could have used that has no one's stuff? What in the actual fuck is happening on this damn show? Now everyone's mad at Irina but if there's a free machine right there, with the thread color everyone is apparently using, then why isn't Christina using it instead of setting up at a station that someone else is clearly using? Irina interviews that there are so many free machines and she shouldn't have to sit around and not do anything just because others aren't finished.

If Michelle's stuff is all over her station, Christina should have gone somewhere else. And if Christina's stuff is all over her machine, then Irina should have gone somewhere else. But it's not clear Christina asked Irina to move, although maybe she did. If Christina had just gone to an open machine this whole thing would just be relegated to her bitching in confessional. But of course she fucked that up so now Michelle's involved and Christina and Michelle are very self-righteous about how Irina is an inconsiderate jerk while no one is blaming Christina for her part in this bullshit. Hot makeup guy Scott. Biddell complains that everyone else is making weird asexual coats and gender-neutral doesn't mean you're never having sex again. Yes but it's difficult to design something sexy when you don't know your model and are supposed to be making clothing that looks good on anyone.

See, they put Alyssa in pants, but then a top with sheer shoulders and arms and a sparkly collar. Meanwhile Anthony Ryan and Sean are both wearing dresses, or at least long loose tunics with pants. Guest judge is actor Asia Kate Dillon. Sean: dark pinstripe pants and an asymmetrical top. The top has a white part underneath, like a strapless tube top but looser, and then one long sleeve and shoulder of the pinstripe. The pinstripe is cut so it comes to a point at the opposite hip, and there is a harness-type set up of straps across the collarbone with a ring, opposite the sleeve. It looks cool. Michelle: big oversized coat, in gray and white, and a red button down shirt. The coat is what she dyed, and supposedly it looks like bloodstains because that's what everyone is saying, although I'm not seeing very much red. It just looks dingy, with big square pockets and drips of dingy dark color. The coat is long, to mid-calf, and beneath it you can see red organza sticking out so I guess there's a skirt under there.

Irina: leather leggings and a black top (I guess it's a T-shirt?). Over this is a big coat, in black with white stripes at the edges, and some red stripes near the waist. There's a big hood, and big sleeves that are gathered at the wrist. It's an interesting coat, and it is only knee-length. Dmitry: silver trenchcoat. It's very long, and not cinched at the waist with a belt the way trenches usually are. The top has two wide pieces of fabric that start along her sides, and then cross in front and attach at the hips. But they aren't close to her body, so it's a weird flap. And then he sewed the two rows of buttons on like you usually see. The back of the coat has a short piece at the shoulders (like a regular trench) but then there's a big keyhole. Christina: black pants, white shirt with a band collar, and a big black coat. The coat has white piping along the hem and down the back, and it looks like the bottoms of the pants are white, along with long cuffs on the sleeves. But it's boring. Everything is just comfortable looking and slouchy. I mean people would wear it but it's not high fashion.

Biddell: dark pants that almost look like cuffed jeans, and a dark gold lace T-shirt. Over this is a light tan leather vest with long fringe down the back. The T-shirt is not lined or anything. Also a big clutch purse and those booties with the gold heels. Anthony Ryan: long oversized coat, in white with some black and yellow and silver stripes. Not like a bee, more random thicknesses. Also a big scarf that you can sink your face into. It looks like his vinyl coat from the Willy Wonka challenge.

Biddell is safe. I mean, a T-shirt and jeans isn't high fashion and is already gender-neutral. But there are seven people left and four of them made oversize, bulky coats (five if you count Dmitry's coat because it wasn't close to her body). So I can see him being safe because at least he didn't make a coat. Michelle's coat does have floral cuffs. She also continues to talk about how Oregon now allows you to list X as your gender on your driver's license. This is fantastic, and needs to happen everywhere. But Michelle's attitude makes it seem like she wants brownie points because her state happened to pass a law that was relevant to this challenge. Or she wanted to do X's and retrofitted a reason. Anyway, the X is why there are safety pin X's on the coat. Sadly they love the proportions, and Asia loves that it's high fashion you can actually wear. OK Michelle's lazy tailoring keeps getting praise for how flattering it is and I do not agree. She's done some treatment with the seams where you can see the floral print, so it lines all the hems. That part is cool. Sean wanted to use suiting. Isaac calls it stunning and then says it's a cliché. I'm not sure how you are going to ding Sean for a cliché when he is the only one up there who didn't put his model in a big coat. It's expected, but at least Georgina likes it. And Alyssa.

Irina says this is a peacoat, a hoodie, and a sweater. Isaac says visually it's just terrible. He hates all of it, the proportions, the fabrics. Then Asia says it's the true measure of an All-Star to design a form-fitting outfit without knowing what your model would look like. True, but none of these people are fat. They're all model sized. So big deal. Alyssa calls the outfit an “homage to streetwear” and then admits that the model does seem to feel good in the outfit. Georgina hates it for being junior. So the two fashion designers hate it, and the two non-fashion designers sort of have faint praise. Anthony Ryan starts out his explanation by saying his outfit is based on jeans and a T-shirt. So you made a bulky coat and a scarf? Isaac points out his luck in the model he got, because that coat is very well suited to his model. Fair. Asia likes it, of course, because it's just like Michelle's. Alyssa points out how much it looks like his vinyl coat. Georgina wants something feminine thrown in there, maybe peeking out the bottom. Oh so we're foreshadowing a Michelle win, are we? Blah.

Dmitry shows that you can undo the criss-crossing wings that go across the front, and then it's a cinched waist dress. They like it much better this way. Isaac doesn't like the buttons. The silver fake leather is the wrong fabric. Asia points out that while they love it, it's costumey, but they can think of situations where it would be perfect. Christina's coat is a kimono-sleeved coat, which I like to know because I can't tell. Everyone really loves it. It's very graphic, and the shirt is open down the front just a little bit. Asia points out that the open shirt would have the same effect on a woman as a man, which is really what they feel “gender neutral” means.

Dmitry claims that in his three seasons on this show, this is his first time in the bottom. That's not because you're that great, though. That's producer shenanigans. He doesn't care because he likes his look. Alyssa makes a comment about the “conversations” they've had today, because apparently we all need to pat ourselves on the back several times for being so open-minded. No one had any conversations. Anthony Ryan had the most “humor” according to Isaac, but Alyssa and Georgina gave him a super low score because it's the same coat he made for a previous challenge. They all love Michelle's look, Asia praising her for deciding on florals when she didn't know who her model was. Yeah but if she'd failed you'd all be yelling at her for not adjusting. Georgina does kind of roll her eyes at the safety pin thing because that's what she would have done with an Army jacket when she was 15. Christina's pants are wonderful, and the jacket is like a dress. It's just “Japanese Pajamas” according to Isaac, but done really well.

Alyssa asks who should be the bottom two, and they seem to agree Dmitry and Sean. Isaac argues Irina should be safe because she's the only person who dared to do high heels. No, Biddell had heels too. Or do you not count them because they're not stilettos, which is some bullshit? The coat isn't great, but somehow tight leather leggings and a black T-shirt are androgynous. I think her outfit was pretty feminine, but clearly I have not agreed with the judges today (or ever) so fine. Isaac hates Sean's because it's too cliché and suddenly because the strap would chafe and it doesn't have a season it's garbage. Is it summer? Is it winter? It's high fashion, which I would argue isn't supposed to be easy to wear. But Asia has made wearability a big criteria in their scoring and no one is arguing about it. Dmitry has a good shape but useless buttons.

Christina is the winner. Anthony Ryan and Michelle are both in. I don't know, you guys. I am just really confused this week. Irina is in. Sean is out. Seriously you guys. You had six people up there, and five of them heard “gender neutral” and thought “bulky coat”. The one person who didn't is the one you sent home. So I guess that's what you think gender neutral clothing is, then. Dmitry is in. Sean didn't really get in a groove this season, but he stands behind his look.

Next week: “transformational resort wear”, fake weather reports, more fucking oversized coats.