Monday, September 29, 2014

TAR25, Recap Leg 1, 9/26/14

Welcome to Leg 1! We’re back to TAR after the summer hiatus, and find ourselves in New York City!  (Toyouke: “Hey at least they're not in LA again. However please do not remind me of the first season because I miss it.”)  Twenty-five seasons ago, TAR kicked off for the first time from the Bethesda Fountain in Central Park, and is back in town to start the twenty-fifth anniversary race.  On June 1.  At 3 am.  In Times Square.  FIFTEEN BLOCKS FROM THE HOTEL WHERE I WAS SLEEPING.  Not that I’m bitter or anything. Instead, lets get this party started, shall we?  Arriving in NYC Cabs, the eleven teams are: (click for more)

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Thursday, September 25, 2014

Project Runway 9/25/14--"Muse on the Street" summary

Previously on Project Runway: everyone had to make clothes for pre-teens based on American Girl dolls. You’ll note that they never once said the outfits would be produced for sale. Not like Barbie. Kini won, because his tweed and red plaid were really cute. Not super exciting but cute. I would wear it. Sandhya kept going with her weird clothes and made a pink onesie with a damn peplum so she was eliminated. It’s true that she and Fade had the only interesting finale collections, but her clothes were crazy and I’m not upset about it. This show now rewards boring clothes you can sell and we will never have another runway show where you gasp and remember the outfits for years. Stupid. (click for more)

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The Quest episode 10: "One True Hero"

Previously on “The Quest”: Twelve people were brought from our world to Everealm to defeat Verlox the Darkness. One by one they were banished, in search of the One True Hero. The last four paladins left were captured by the Rana, along with Ansgar, Crio, and the Queen. Everyone had to convince the Rana chief why they were worthy, and Lina jumped the gun in her eagerness to convince them. They had to make her stop so they could take out an hourglass to time her. Later the paladins had to escape from cages and free everyone, and Andrew finished first. Lina, Patrick, and Shondo had to cross a rickety bridge on a bog, carrying eggs, to appease a banshee. Shondo was first there. When it came down to the vote, it ended up being a tie, so Andrew was the deciding vote since he won the badge that day. He kept his vote for Lina, and Patrick was banished. Was it a strategic move? Or was it because Lina got further than Patrick in the Fates’ challenge? Or because of her argument about being the One True Hero? Because that really impressed me. (click for more)
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Wednesday, September 24, 2014

TAR25, Recap Leg 0, 9/19/14

Welcome back to the Amazing Race!  It’s the show’s twenty-fifth anniversary, and it promises to be a doozy, with new twists, turns, and hashtags (Toyouke: “I HATE that the twitter hashtags are basically the nicknames everyone wants us to use. HHAAAAAATTTTEEEE. You can't make up your own nickname!”)  Don’t worry, I’ll still come up with my own, subject to change once we get started.  The eleven teams for TAR25 are: (click for more)

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Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Quest episode 9: "Escape from Rana Village"

Previously on “The Quest”: Verlox took over Sanctum, and everyone had to flee into the woods. They found a dragon, and then a burned-out village. Everyone had to trap the dragon in its lair, because dragons sleep during the day, down in hatches with grates and locks. Andrew and Shondo were the first to finish (Andrew first), and then they helped everyone else because they have to trap the dragon. The Fates’ challenge was to lift dragon eggs out of a pit, without touching them. Patrick was first, but Lina was right behind him. Patrick tried to tell Andrew and Shondo that Bonnie was further along than Lina, but it didn’t look like they believed him. Bonnie was banished, and got a whole montage of scenes and everyone talking about how much they’ll miss her. Even the Queen said so! I will also miss Bonnie but I’m also kind of surprised by how far she got, for someone who hated running. And that no one decided to vote for her to have someone “easy” to beat in the finale. (click for more)

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Monday, September 22, 2014

The Quest episode 8: "The Dragon's Lair"

Previously on “The Quest”: everyone had to flee the castle as Verlox showed up to take over the place. The vizier gave the queen an amulet for “protection” and then promptly vanished for the rest of the episode. The paladins had to split into two teams to create a message out of signal flags, and the girls failed partially because two of them don’t know how many sides a pentagon has. The boys finished first, with Patrick taking the badge. The Fates’ challenge involved sitting in a tree and remembering details about an enemy patrol. Bonnie remembered the most, and then everyone voted for Lina, which is rude because Leticia was the one person who voted for Christian so no one would have to be abandoned. That bugs. Back at the camp everyone is interrupted by noises, and then they run up to a ridge to be super obvious, backlit targets and stare at something we haven’t seen yet. (click for more)

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Sunday, September 21, 2014

The Quest episode 7: "Verlox Attacks"

Previously on “The Quest”: the traitor ended up being someone Ansgar knew, who had fought by his side and then got kicked out of the castle for stealing. He’s planted “fire orbs” around the castle, which have to be located by watching footage from a “falcon”. Lina is the first one to find an orb, followed by Bonnie, Shondo, and Patrick. The remaining three must line up swords with circles on them to allow a beam of light to hit a map, telling them where Verlox is coming from. Andrew overcomes his ADD and wins the Fates’ challenge. Adria loses the narrow vote and is banished. While drinking with Ansgar, the paladins are interrupted by Verlox himself. (click for more)
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Friday, September 19, 2014

The Quest episode 6: "A Traitor in Sanctum"

Previously on “The Quest”: everyone fails at making that giant crossbow weapon while Ansgar fights an ogre single handed and looks hot. Christian decided to scheme and throw the challenge (which was to barricade and then break down doors). Asshat. So of course his team lost, because he picked a lame team, but then he lost the Fates’ challenge (run through the woods wearing a cage). No one wanted to support him after he was a jerk. Woo! Weirdly I am fully behind everyone on this show playing with “honor” and “integrity” and all the things I hate on Survivor. Patrick gave himself a black eye and then sprinted out to “save” Bonnie when she fell even though she ended up being fine. That’s what I want to see. Lina won the challenge, by the way, because Shondo said she’s the smallest and she kept up so she deserves to win. After some chores (and another of Bonnie’s songs) everyone freaks out because there’s a “spy orb” flying around. Spying on them, I guess. (click for more)

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Thursday, September 18, 2014

Project Runway 9/18/14--"The History of the American Girl" summary

Previously on Project Runway: for some reason the producers thought they should have their product placement TVs sponsor a runway with rain. Rain. And electronics. Terrible. Anyway this is also the “avant-garde” challenge which means dumb gimmicks. And it will rain, did you hear? Sean and Kini won, because Sean’s dress had dye in it so it would color the dress, and Kini had an upside-down umbrella thing that everyone else compared to Alexander McQueen but apparently that was OK. But Emily’s dress is also McQueen and that is NOT OK. Who knows. Fade didn’t know what to do with himself, so he was eliminated, because when someone has good drama you can consider all their past work. But when someone who does not have drama does something terrible suddenly the judging is only about this week. This stupid show. (click for more)

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The Quest episode 5: "Under Siege"

Previously on “The Quest”: a drill proves to Ansgar that the paladins are not battle-ready, so he makes them pick teams and then battle to the death in the Battle Dome. Well not really to the death. Leticia wins, because she let the boys knock each other out. Jasmine, Adria, and Lina were sent to the Fates to smash skulls, which Adria won. For some reason everyone thought Lina was more worthy of staying, so Jasmine was banished. Then there was an ogre. (click for more)

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Tuesday, September 16, 2014

The Quest episode 4: "Battle Dome"

Previously on “The Quest”: the Queen was poisoned, so the paladins were sent into the woods to open some doors and get ingredients for the antidote. Andrew was the fastest, and was allowed to mix the ingredients and give the antidote to the queen. The vizier continued to be evil. Bonnie, Jim, and Christian were the worst again. Christian is terrible. The Fates’ challenge required grinding rocks and balancing a scale, and Bonnie was the fastest. Despite telling Christian last time that no one was going to save him again, everyone did which is dumb. So Jim was eliminated. The cliffhanger is that the castle is under attack and the paladins have to suit up. (click for more)

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Sunday, September 14, 2014

The Quest episode 3: "Save the Queen"

Previously on “The Quest”: the remaining paladins were introduced to Queen Ralia XXIII. They were also told Verlox is within a few days of the castle. When everyone was learning to ride, Leticia lost her piece of the Sunspear. In case you were wondering, she just got yelled at a little bit instead of being disqualified. The main challenge was to shoot arrows and spears and joust on horseback. Shondo destroyed the challenge and earned “the Dub” as he says. I love Shondo. Andrew called the Queen “my lady” and everyone acted like it was a big thing. Jim, Ashley, and Christian were the bottom three, which is sad because Ashley is a horse trainer and Christian has been going on about how he does this kind of thing for a living. I mean, he goes to Ren Faires and does demonstrations. Jim won the Fates’ challenge (this very long thing involving horseshoes) and then Christian was saved by the vote, sending Ashley home. The other paladins told Christian this was his last chance. Later at dinner the Queen appeared and then was poisoned! Gasp! Can the paladins save her? Spoiler: yes. (click for more)

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Thursday, September 11, 2014

Project Runway 9/11/14--"The Rainway" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Char came back, which was nice because I like Char. Everyone had to make outfits to showcase some super expensive jewelry. In general it was pretty blah, as it was the last time they had this challenge. Amanda made the ugliest black jumpsuit and white sheer shirt and was praised, but luckily she did not win. Korina made a coat out of upholstery fabric and she won. To be fair the coat was really dramatic. Alexander got harassed for not using fabric properly, except it seemed like Amanda and Kini got a pass for their fabric. Whatever. Samantha lost because her dress was too “boring”/the producers decided to get rid of her, because there were more boring outfits up there. (click for more)

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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

The Quest episode 2: "Tournament for the Queen"

Last time on “The Quest”: twelve people were chosen to live in an RPG video game. Destined heroes? Check. Evil guy who wants to rule the world? Check. Magic women who brought you here from the “real” world? Check. Evil vizier? Check. Everyone is really into it, playing their characters and interacting with the actors and basically buying into this idea that one of them is the One True Hero. This is continued into the part where they’re nice to each other and play “honorably” for lack of a better word. Teams of three try to launch arrows over a wall and hit scarecrows. When the winning team is asked to choose one winner they quickly pick Bonnie and don’t argue about it. The losing team must complete a challenge put forth by the Fates, which basically is to shoot arrows at dummies and hope your dummy has the fewest arrows. Then there is a public vote, which was prefaced by a rational discussion of everyone’s strengths and the idea that maybe getting rid of threats like you would in “Survivor” is not how this show works. Maybe you should keep the strong people around to help you later. Katie was the first person sent home, or technically she went to “meet her fate”. Which means she walked through an archway and “melted” into smoke. (click for more)

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Sunday, September 7, 2014

The Quest episode 1: "The Quest Begins"

“The Quest” is what happens when you admit that all of those challenges on your reality show are fake anyway, so you might as well make your entire reality show “fake” and have a story and actors. I’ve been watching this show on ABC for a few weeks. I started a little late, but then I thought “You know, I should at least say on the blog to watch it” but then I forgot. And then they started burning off two shows a week and it’s almost over. But you can watch all the episodes on Hulu or on ABC’s website. Mostly all of them; they take a week to be available (unless you have Hulu Plus). Clearly this is just me recapping something for fun instead of being timely, because if all I ever write about is “Project Runway” I will lose my damn mind. But I think this show is great and I hope the two-episodes-each-week is because of poor planning and not poor ratings. (click for more)

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Thursday, September 4, 2014

Project Runway 9/4/14--"Priceless Runway" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Everyone had to pair up and make “unconventional” wedding dresses and reception outfits. Really this was only important because Korina said something to Amanda and then Amanda cried and then of course they were on a team together. Sean won again, with a top that Kini said he made. Char was eliminated, for listening to Sandhya and using a not-so-great yellow and also for poor construction. I like Char, but that dress was not good. Really it ended up being a boring episode for all that it was teams. Eh. (click for more)

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