90 Day Fiance--"Flirting With Disaster" summary s6e6

Previously on “90 Day Fiance”: Fernanda sulked overnight and eventually forgave Jonathan, although I'm not sure it was because of anything he actually did. I think she just got tired of making him beg forgiveness. Then he admitted to her that his mother only found out about the engagement on social media, and so maybe his family won't instantly love her. Olga finally had her Caesarian section and had a healthy baby boy. Steven is very self-absorbed, and only concerned about himself, until the baby is finally here and he is holding his son. He sadly did not faint at the sight of blood. This is short lived because as soon as Olga is discharged, he was over in the hospital yelling at her to hurry up and change into street clothes so they can go home because according to him, only being allowed into the hospital for an hour a day is the worst thing to happen to him. Larissa tried to get Colt to buy a better car, one with air conditioning, but he said it's not in the budget. She literally says she would rather have a car than a big wedding. Later Colt decided he needed to buy her a giant ring to propose properly, and Larissa showed the most emotion and love for Colt she has shown this whole season. This is after Colt took her to the Stratosphere, which is the tallest structure on the Vegas Strip, knowing she was afraid of heights. So he just didn't warn her because otherwise she wouldn't agree to go. Jay thought everyone was staring at him, because Ashley lives in a neighborhood with no black people. He got his hair cut and the guys at the barbershop were hilarious, plus he seemed much more comfortable with other black guys. Asuelu and Kalani drove to Utah. Asuelu is not used to car seats, so when Oliver started crying he took the baby out of the car seat while they were on the highway. Kalani completely lost her shit and screamed at him, so in response to her “treating [him] like a child”, he refused to speak to her until the next morning. They then met Kalani's brother Nick who felt the best way to start his relationship with his future brother-in-law is to demand a nickname because his name is too long, then give him a condom. Leida hated Eric's apartment so much she refused to sleep there, and then the next morning she took her whole family over to look at it. Immediately after they agreed that it was a dump, she changed her tune about how Eric was looking for somewhere else, and she'll just have to deal with it. I have no idea why she would say “My family won't let me stay here if they think it's not good enough” and then take them to the apartment to show them it wasn't good enough. Then her family tried to shame her into not forcing Tasha to move out and offered Eric money for a better place and Leida said she wasn't moving back and I have no idea. (click for more)

Colt, Larissa, and Mom all get in the car to go somewhere. I have to say, Larissa did tell Colt to open his mom's car door just like he did for Larissa. Colt claims to be realistic, and to understand that nothing is 100% until the wedding happens. Well, technically after that also, but sure. Larissa tells us in confessional that Brazilian food is amazing but Mom's food is terrible because there's no sauce or salt. “It's like hospital food.” Brazilian food IS pretty good, not gonna lie. So they're all going to a Brazilian steakhouse. I haven't been to one of those, but it's just non-stop meat until you're full. I'm not a huge steak or steakhouse person so I've only been to the local place that is just a regular restaurant. Mom says she's never had lamb. Really? Did I just grow up with parents who were adventurous eaters and this is common?

When they get to the restaurant, it's very nice and the waiter is super nice, probably because he knows he's on TV. He explains that how a Brazilian steakhouse works is, other waiters will come around with meat, and they just use the tongs on the table to serve themselves whatever meat they want. Then the waiter totally hits on Larissa, because he speaks Portuguese and is from Sao Paolo. He comes back to hover with the first meat guy. It's literally a sword with four or five pieces of meat stuck on it, and the guy just carves slices off. Larissa claims this cut of beef is very expensive in Brazil, then “casually” brings up that it would be nice to have Brazilian food at their wedding. Where are you going to get it from, though? She wants to bring guests to a nice restaurant. Colt said no to the huge SUV she wanted, and the couch, but she hopes he'll pay for the big wedding she wants. I doubt it, but you can try. She has no idea how much this dinner costs, and Mom tries to fill her in. Colt says he doesn't know how many people they have coming to this wedding anyway, and from the people Larissa counts off it sounds like maybe just Colt's family members. She says none of her family can come. Outside the restaurant, Colt says it's expensive here. But maybe they can have something Brazilian at the wedding? Larissa responds, “Yes, but here is really good.” They have no plans for this wedding, because Colt claims it's complicated. Larissa claims that they talked about it before she arrived in the US, about guests and bringing guests here and having the reception at a restaurant and whatever, and now that she's here it's like a whole new concept. Mom doesn't think Colt is ready to get married, and she admits she doesn't get along with Larissa so she doesn't want to say if she's the right one for Colt or not. Anything can happen. “It's Vegas.” Mom says they need to figure it out because time is running out. Colt shrugs that everything is fine, because he's a condescending asshole. He is though. Larissa says, in front of Colt, that they made plans, they had plans, so does he not want to marry her? He says he's 97% sure, because he thinks it's cute. Larissa responds that she was 100% sure, and now she's 30% sure. You deserved that. Now suddenly Colt is saying in confessional that loving someone is not enough, you have to be sure. Uh huh.

Time for Steven's stupid ass. He claims to be very happy to bring his son home, but also scared because they're already fighting. He leaves out the part where he 100% picked this fight for no reason other than that Olga didn't immediately do exactly what he ordered her to do. He then says his family fought a lot, and he wants his son to grow up in a happy home. Then quit being an asshole. Outside, the baby is crying, and Steven tells Olga to make sure his nose isn't covered. When Olga doesn't respond, because she's trying to make the baby stop crying, he sulks and says “Or just don't listen as usual”. Ideally, she'll bail in the middle of the night and leave him stranded in Russia where he can't speak the language. Olga yells at him that she can't hear him, which is probably true based on the fact that they're subtitling him. She hopes they'll be better at home as a family. When they get to the car, Steven fucks around with the car seat for a while while Olga tries to tell him what to do. I think they get it figured out.

On the drive home Steven declares they need to talk because he's still pissed she told him what to do. Because it's his son so apparently her giving birth means he suddenly know best and no one can tell you that you are being an idiot. Also he's whiny that she told him to wash his hands. I get that Steven wants to be present in his son's life, but the entitlement and the sudden “my son” and not a single “our son” is worrisome. Suddenly (maybe he realized she had a point) it's not that she told him to stop touching his son, it's the WAY she told him to wash his hands. She's not NICE enough. Now you're just moving the goalposts because you realized saying “I should be able to touch the baby with dirty hands” sounded asinine. His family speaks to him that way, and he's done putting up with them. I am beginning to wonder if his family speaks to him that way for a reason. “He needs to grow up with manners and stuff.” Sure, but he's like three days old, and also good job on ignoring your own behavior. In the middle of this, Olga looks at the camera in the car and she has the greatest “you hearing this shit?” face. When she agrees she wants the baby to learn manners, Steven demands she start doing it. You do it, asshole. Olga claims Steven has never spoken to her this way, and if he's going to be an ass about saying “Please” then what will happen when they have a real problem? Good point. She asks him to listen to her version and how she saw it, and he claims “Of course I'll listen.” She says he just “ran the room” (not sure what that means) and hurt her, and he's acting crazy. Also she points out that he bitched at her to hurry up while feeding the baby, and then later bitched that the baby was hungry. He is all, well he WAS hungry, and she responds that's why she was feeding him. Dumbass. “He can wait until we get home.” OK then don't yell at your fiancee that the baby is hungry! This guy is such an asshole. He then decides he can't shut up and talks over Olga, insisting the baby is waiting right now. As Olga is trying to tell him he's sleeping. Olga says the baby needs to come first, before Steven, and a hungry baby can't wait. I think she's wishing she hadn't told him she was pregnant. Steven claims he'll relax when she's nice to him. Olga says he's acting crazy, and then starts crying. Steven looks back at her but of course is too much of an asshole to do anything like apologize. He claims to feel bad, but I doubt it. He asks Olga how she feels, WHILE SHE IS SNIFFLING, and she says she's just tired. In confessional he admits he needs to be patient and respectful, but I'm sure it's just because somewhere he understands everyone knows he's an asshole. From what we've seen, I doubt he really thinks he's done anything wrong and that he's actually sorry. He never apologizes to Olga that we see. When they finally get into the apartment, Olga says “Steven, I'm sorry, but you need to wash you hands, please.” He insists she wash her hands first, as she is pointing out she said “please” like he complained about. He says “That's good” because as I suspected, he's not sorry, he's just a controlling asshole.

31 days to wed for Ashley and Jay. They only have one month left. Jay says in Jamaica he'd be visiting his friends and doing tattoos, but here he doesn't really have anything to do. He's a young black man without any family nearby. He says he's given up a lot, as he plays video games and Ashley cleans the house. She sits down and asks how long he's been playing the game for, and he gives her a vague answer. She then asks if he noticed her, which feels like she wants him to drop whatever he's doing when she walks in the room, so he can pay attention to her. But, editing, plus this situation seems like a perfect cliche of “my boyfriend plays video games and ignores me” so I don't know. Ashley says Jay has seemed annoyed for like two straight days, and wouldn't tell her how the barbershop went. This is in confessional, and Jay still looks annoyed. Back at home Ashley gets pissed and demands he stop the game, with the attitude and tone of “I already asked you three times”. Hmm. Jay says she wasn't saying anything (therefore he kept on playing) and she just says he pays zero attention to her. OK but he asked you what's up and you just stared at him, so he went back to the game. Jay admits it's hard to communicate with Ashley, because he's not a man of many words. But he's tried. Jay's phone goes off and Ashley demands to know who it is. When Jay says it's friends from Jamaica, she then demands to know if it's a boy or a girl. Jay is totally honest and says it's a girl he tattooed. “Well is it a friend or a customer?” Calm down. Ashley can't believe the whole island of Jamaica doesn't already know he's no longer in Jamaica. I mean she's like “Don't they know you're here?” as if they're just idiots. Why would every single person Jay's ever tattooed know he moved? As Jay tries to explain that this girl is just asking when he's coming back, because she wants more tattoos, it's a business transaction, Ashley interrupts him to claim it's just a line so she can talk to him. Then they keep texting him because they want something from him. Yeah, a tattoo. Jay asks why Ashley is always getting ignorant for no reason. She says since he is not in the same country as them, he cannot have a conversation. What? You aren't allowed to speak to people if you aren't in the same country? Jay fires back and asks if he's not allowed to respond to messages in order to tell people he's moved and he's not coming back. Ashley interviews that she's pretty sure Jay didn't totally behave himself while in Jamaica, but if he cheated on her now, that would be a total slap in the face and unacceptable. First of all, why is it any different, and second, did you tell him that? Because if I was sleeping around, and my fiancee went so far as to shut out her “best friend” for saying so, there's no way I would decide to stop unless there was an explicit conversation about how the rules are now different. Jay says this is about respect for his customers, but Ashley is not listening because she kind of sucks. She's on and on about what if her inbox was full of guys, which is dumb because customers, and Jay says he doesn't care about her inbox because he doesn't go through her phone. Ashley claims he searched her phone the other night, but as we all suspected, they've both looked at the other person's phone to snoop. Jay says, quite correctly, that not everyone that texts him is trying to sleep with him. Ashley responds with the completely ridiculous demand that he's about to get married and should only be answering messages from family members. Jay looks at her with confusion and then goes back to the game.

As he plays the game he says Ashley is acting like he's a prisoner. Ashley has zero self-awareness because her next question is “Where did you go at midnight?” I can't believe she's waited until the next day to grill him about this, honestly. Several questions later, Jay has said he went to get a thing to put on his phone. Ashley starts talking about her past engagements, and now we're back to “both of them cheated on me” instead of “I've run from engagements” which was her story for a couple of episodes. But of course now we're talking about her trust issues so it's important to justify her paranoia. You can't get engaged to someone who you know slept around a lot before you, tell everyone you didn't give a shit if he was cheating on you, then demand he not speak to anyone he knows. Ashley needs Jay to be open. I think he was, he told you it was a girl, didn't he? Ashley has brought this on herself and I don't feel bad.

Eric and Leida have brought her family back to New York so they can go back to Indonesia. But I guess Leida has convinced them she's staying? I still don't get why she took them to see the apartment, knowing it was not up to standards, and then acted shocked they didn't think she should stay in the country. Eric says to her parents and brother that it was great to have them here, and he knows it wasn't what they expected, but everything will be alright. He shakes their hands and promises it will be fine. They're outside on the street, and I can't tell if it's a hotel or Airbnb or what. Eric says to say goodbye to Reina for them, because apparently Reina is so pissed she refused to come down to say goodbye. Leida can't believe she is being so petty, and it's hard to know her sister doesn't approve. Leida's dad is sad to say goodbye to Alless. He interviews that Eric will have to work hard to provide prosperity for his big family. A producer asks if they'll come back for the wedding, and he says he doesn't know. Leida interviews that part of her wants to get on the plane with her family, but she loves Eric and she hopes this is the right thing to do. Reina never appears or has a parting interview.

Kalani and Asuelu unload some stuff from a big moving van? Did they have enough stuff to need a moving van? I thought it all fit in the SUV. Anyway, Kalani's mom is there, so I think it's a couple of weeks after the last episode. Kalani says there is still awkwardness from her yelling at him about the car seat. OK if it's a couple of weeks later you should have talked about this by now. She says her mom is watching the baby, and she just wants to take a break and do something fun with Asuelu and Nick. This seems to be a theme with Kalani: that she's always complaining that she needs a break, she needs to just have family time, or whatever. So the three of them go to some park to teach Asuelu how to ride a bike. Asuelu wants training wheels, and Kalani tells him training wheels are for children. His parents wouldn't get him a bike when he was little. Kalani and Nick hold the bike and they've gotten him elbow pads but then they're letting him ride the bike barefoot. At least there's grass to fall on. OK maybe he has flip flops on. Once he gets the hang of it he rides across the grass, and then says “My boohole is hurt.” Hee. Kalani asks if he can go by himself, so he can ride in circles around the park and she can shittalk him to her brother. Well mostly to say he's like a child, which we already knew was how she felt.

Nick asks when the wedding is, because he has to have enough notice to request time off from work. Kalani is pushing it off, because that seems to be how she deals with problems, is ignore them for a while. She wishes there wasn't a short timeframe and deadline before they have to get married. She has nothing planned. Nick asks why it's taking her so long, and she says she loves Asuelu but she's not sure if she wants to marry him at this point. Because he's done “some weird things” with the baby that she's unsure of. I would love to know if Kalani did anything stupid in the five months she was by herself. Because I'm not particularly seeing anything that's not explained by “idiot first time parent with no experience with babies”. You know? She thought he'd be a partner but she thinks he's not mature enough to even leave him alone with the baby. I feel like Asuelu is trying, but her immediate reaction to his fuckups is to lecture him and act like he's a small child, which he resents, and then it also feels like she'll never accept that he knows what he's doing, and she'll never trust him with the baby. Kalani claims Asuelu helped her out more when she was in Samoa, and he communicated better. Now he's acting childish, or whatever. Nick asks if she's had this conversation with Asuelu, and of course she hasn't. That would help. But then Nick offers to help and talk to him, in case a man's perspective will help. Kalani then shows a tiny bit of self-awareness and says that she does need to know if he's good with the baby, and when she's around she tends to take over. So she needs to have Nick go out with Asuelu and Oliver, and spy on him and report back. Because she trusts Nick with the baby for some reason. No mention is made of how this wouldn't be necessary if she would just back off for a minute and let Asuelu take care of the baby. But this way Nick can let him “take care of Oliver” but be around for “safety” because she doesn't trust Asuelu. This is seriously a conversation that needs to include Asuelu, because then maybe you would learn things like, “We don't use car seats in Samoa so I don't know not to take the baby out of one.” But that implies that when she was in Samoa, she never once rode in a car. Because otherwise she would have discovered that, right? Kalani interviews about Asuelu being responsible, which she is not, but go off I guess. Nick interviews that Kalani can't make big decisions in a short amount of time, but he also reasonably says that if she doesn't want to get married, she shouldn't feel like she has to get married just to be married.

Jonathan and Fernanda land in Chicago to meet Jonathan's mom and sister. Jonathan also tells us it's not just his mom who found out about the engagement on Facebook, it's his sister also. They head to his sister Jackie's house to meet her and her boyfriend. Jackie is 22, meaning she's older than Fernanda. Jonathan is optimistic, and I think he's still in the mindset of “my family does not control my life so who cares what they think”. Even though Fernanda really wants some familial support here. In the car Jonathan asks if she still wants to marry “this old man”. Fernanda says obviously, she loves him. “One day I'll clean your ass.” Heh. Fernanda has talked to Jackie online (not sure if that's text or Skype) but in person is not the same.

Everyone is enthusiastic to see everyone. Fernanda interviews that Jackie was smiling, but also that Jackie was being nice because she has to be. They sit in the front room, Jonathan on an armchair and Fernanda basically in his lap. Do they not have enough chairs? Jonathan says she's nervous, and when Fernanda met his friends she wasn't this nervous. Jackie of course thinks that this trial period in the US will test them, and maybe she won't want to get married at the end of it. They all talk about how boring Fernanda's life is: she can't drive, she can't work, she doesn't have friends of her own (and I'm sure all of Jonathan's friends have jobs), so she's bored most of the time. Jackie doesn't think she could do it, and she couldn't imagine getting married at 19. Or now. Jackie's boyfriend Patrick says he always supported them. So why was Jackie not always cool with it? She insists it's because Patrick is a guy. In confessional Jackie doesn't think Fernanda is mature, but being isolated from your family will make you mature. I get the sense from confessional that Jackie hates this, and possibly doesn't like Fernanda, but she thinks she can fool the camera into thinking she's just mature and concerned about real life. But she also is contradicting herself, you know? “Well, she's immature, but this situation will make her grow up.” OK so then what exactly is the problem, you know? Jonathan says he never planned on getting married, and then Jackie brings that up as an issue, because he was literally telling people he didn't want to get married, and then he was engaged. She's obviously pissed she had to find out on Facebook, which is valid. Plus the fact that he'd met her only a couple of times. Jonathan's excuse is that he knew what he wanted, and he didn't want to fight with his family about it so he didn't tell them ahead of time. Jackie says this is a huge problem, because he and his mom talked almost every day, and now they don't talk. Fernanda feels bad because she also feels like maybe it's her fault. Jackie makes it clear in interview that getting married in six weeks is crazy, and she just hopes that Fernanda can answer all of their mom's tough questions. But you can tell she doesn't think she can. Jonathan and Fernanda do want to get along with his family. Just another family member who doesn't approve but doesn't want to come out and say so on television, and also thinks they're hiding that well.

44 days left for Colt and Larissa. They hang out and have drinks on the back patio. Colt is realizing he fucked up when he said he only wants to marry her 97%, so he found a nice wedding venue and set up an appointment for tomorrow. He shows Larissa some pictures, and she likes it. She's still annoyed, but now that he's doing some effort for the wedding, she feels he loves her and now she's excited about the wedding. Sigh.

They head to what looks like a restaurant attached to a hotel. They introduce themselves to the hostess and explain that they need maybe a reception space. This girl is what I would call your generic “perky customer service” type of person. She shows them the private room and explains they can do cocktail parties or full dinner or buffet or whatever. Larissa seems annoyed, for whatever reason. Out of nowhere Colt says he likes the hostess's glasses. You'll note they were not discussing glasses, they were not mentioned, this comment is out of left field. Hostess thanks him and says she likes his too, because that's how you respond when your job is to be friendly. Then she asks how long they've been together, and Colt looks to Larissa because he doesn't know? Oops. He then says “last February”, so did he not remember or was he not sure when they're counting the start of their relationship? Larissa is annoyed, I'm sure now because of Colt “flirting”, and she says the space is nice, so Colt tells the hostess it's very nice. Larissa interviews that Colt is “womanizing” and likes female attention. And she doesn't like it. I'd say she was being unreasonably jealous, but if that glasses comment happened the way it was presented to us, without any prompting, then I could see her being irritated about it.

Colt and Larissa sit down at a table to do some tastings, or look at pictures of cakes, or whatever. Colt tries to pull Larissa's chair out, but she says she can do it herself, and then says she's tired of him acting like an attention whore. But the giant grin never leaves her face. It does eventually fade out, as she tells him to stop giving compliments to strange women. Now Colt is grinning, because I guess it's funny and he can't even remember what he said. Larissa is mad now, and I think he tries to change the subject to the cakes, but she says he doesn't care about anything, he just turns into an attention whore when he sees a woman. “I'm definitely not a whore”. You know that's not what that phrase means. He suggests she does the talking, and I don't know if that's a reasonable reaction, if Larissa doesn't want him to talk to strangers. Or if it's an insult because her English isn't so great. Larissa tells him to act like a man with class. And I guess mention Larissa a lot. As she's talking, Colt is rolling his eyes in front of her and saying “I guess that seems...reasonable...I guess”. You aren't supposed to roll your eyes where the other person can see you, dumbass. Larissa then demands that he pay attention to her first, especially if she puts work into looking good. Wasn't he doing that when she first arrived? Did he stop? Why did he stop? Did he get complacent or was it because she never complemented him so he gave up? Colt claims he did tell her she looked great. The whole time she's irritated and he can't stop smiling because he thinks her being upset is so illogical and stupid. We saw that from his idea to take her to the Strat when she's afraid of heights. Larissa says she doesn't care anymore, and Colt rolls his eyes again. Yeah that'll go over well. Colt interviews that Larissa can be dramatic, and she needs to be “calm”. See I told you. He tells her “Look, you got a ring. We're engaged. Calm down a little bit.” On the one hand, this argument is over Colt telling the hostess her glasses were nice. On the other hand, never tell someone who is mad at you to calm down. Colt apologizes in the most condescending, asshole tone possible, and if that was me, I'd wait for the food samples to arrive so I could dump them all on him, and then walk out and block his number. Larissa is clearly not interested in this apology, and then the hostess comes out with a mini cake for them to try. Larissa sulks until Colt specifically ask her if she wants to try it, I guess because the hostess is talking mostly at Colt (because Colt did all the talking before and restaurant workers only talking to the husband is a thing). Larissa asks him to cut her a piece, I guess to assert dominance. The hostess hovers which is obnoxious no matter what else is happening. Larissa says loudly she doesn't want that, she wants something with chocolate for their wedding, “if we marry, of course. I don't want to marry attention whore, you know.” Larissa interviews that she's pissed because Colt brought her here, bought her a ring, then said he's not sure he wants to marry her. I mean he said he was 97% sure. To me it was clearly a joke that fell flat because Colt thought he was being hilarious and should have read the room. And now she thinks he's flirting, so both of those things together make Larissa think he's not serious. Colt just wants to move on, except that all he's done is fake apologize.

Jay wants to show Ashley he cares about her and he wants to put his best foot forward, so he is cooking dinner for her. I'm not sure what time it is, because she's a bartender, and they were home earlier. It looks like she went to work and came back, so is it the middle of the night? You know what, it doesn't matter. Jay then says that when they fight, he always has to apologize because Ashley always thinks she's right. Yeah that's not great. He has to take responsibility, because someone has to and he doesn't want to keep fighting. They eat in silence, except for Ashley asking if he did the laundry and Jay asking about work. Ashley says “I know I left kind of mad earlier, but we need to have better communication.” That...isn't the problem? The problem is you don't trust Jay so you told him he's not allowed to talk to anyone? She starts by saying she's knows she's on the phone a lot, but then immediately swaps to how he's always got his headphones in and is ignoring her. Does she really think this fight is because she demanded he stop playing video games because he doesn't pay enough attention to her? She needs him to talk a little bit more. Ashley interviews that “they” are not making the relationship work, but from over here, there is no “they”. She's been acting like this is all Jay's fault for ignoring her, and is leaving out her paranoia. Jay says “It's whatever you wanna do” which then pisses off Ashley because “it takes two people” or whatever. “It takes two people” is what you say when one person is doing all the work but the other one is not. Jay says if Ashley is there and is not “all busy on [her] phone” then he'll be there too. Ashley tells him they both need to work on it, not just her. OK but are you working on it though? Jay says sometimes she shuts him out, or brings up something from the past, and he finishes this thought with “You're just crazy.” Jay, I was on your side, but come on. That was dumb. The death glare from Ashley doesn't phase him and he says if she stops being spiteful, then everything will be fine. Ashley asks if she can say one thing without him spinning it around back on her. I mean, you did try to pretend that both of you needed to work on things, and then when he said what you should work on you got pissed. But I'm not inclined to defend Jay currently because personally I hate the attitude of “If you would just [x] then we'd never have problems.” Jay thinks you can say “stop being spiteful” but not mean it in a bad way? Jay complains in confessional that Ashley needs to give him space to talk and understand what he's trying to say. No, you got that. You got your comment out and I'm not sure what else that statement could possibly mean. Jay tells us his communication is OK and she just needs to listen. So, at best, they both think the other one is the problem and they themselves are working and doing exactly what they should be doing. This is so productive.

Jay decides that instead of letting Ashley make whatever comment she wanted to, he'll just keep talking. I mean if she said anything they edited it out. Anyway, Jay asks her why she was cranky or in a weird mood or what exactly was going on, earlier when she told him he can't talk to anyone from Jamaica that he's not related to. Ashley's response is “Where'd you go last night?” I'm already tired of this argument. Jay asks where he could be going, which is the fucking point of the question. He could only be going to McDonald's and Weis (grocery store). Ashley just stares at him and then spits that he could say he was leaving, and he clearly doesn't get her point. I don't get your point either. Are you mad that he left because you think he is cheating on you? Or are you mad he didn't tell you he was leaving the house? Or are you still mad he's texting some woman from Jamaica to tell her he can't do tattoos? Jay doesn't think he has to tell Ashley every time he leaves, which is technically true, because he's an adult. Ashley lets us know Jay leaves the house a lot and now he's texting “all these women” from Jamaica so now she doesn't trust him. I wonder if he's leaving the house not to go hook up with people but just to have privacy to talk or text or something. Ashley doesn't want to be constantly wondering who he's talking to, or going through his phone, because she's over it. I mean the solution there is to stop going through his phone. Jay asks her if she's going to make an argument out of it, because he's trying to pick a fight I guess. Also don't think I didn't notice you never answered the question, Jay. Ashley gets loud and asks if he's going to stop doing it. They then argue over how many times Jay's left the house randomly, because he thinks it's only two, but Ashley doesn't have dates to show that it's been more than two like she says. Jay says being stuck in the house all day is like being in jail. He doesn't think he should have to wait for her to get out of the shower or whatever to ask permission to go get something. No, you shouldn't, but throwing a receipt in her face to prove you really just went to the store would be amazing right about now. Jay says he's an adult, and then he says “Even if I slip up, even if I made a mistake, like, just like guide me and put me back on track, like don't try to take it out on me.” OK so 1. “when I screw up, put me back on track” is a thing you do for children, which you just complained that you weren't, and 2. what mistake did you make because you're insisting you did nothing wrong, and 3. why is that phrased like you have already cheated on Ashley and just need to be guided to stop cheating. Also 4. “don't take it out on me when I make a mistake” applies to small children spilling things, not grown men knowingly fucking around. All of this talk of how Ashley treats him like a child and we STILL have not seen Ashley's kids. She said if he didn't get his visa she couldn't uproot her kids and move to Jamaica because they were too little. So where are they? If she doesn't have custody, then she COULD move to Jamaica, is what I'm saying. Ashley's argument is that it is respectful and courteous to tell her when he's leaving. Jay just sits there so Ashley gets sarcastic and says “OK, good talk”. See, she's giving you space, but you aren't saying anything. Ashley interviews that she still wants to marry Jay, but she won't be blind to the things he does. She doesn't believe Natalie that Jay cheated in Jamaica (liar, you said you didn't care, not the same thing), but if he tries to cheat here, it won't last. I do not understand how you can believe he wouldn't cheat on you while he was in another country, but now that he's living with you, you need to always know where he is and go through his phone because he's cheating on you now.

Steven and Olga have apparently been fighting all morning. Steven says his parents fought a lot, so he grew up thinking it was normal. But he doesn't want his son to grow up this way. He turns to Olga in the dual confessional and says that he's worried because bringing her to the US isn't likely to change anything, because they're already fighting. Good for him for not thinking a change of scenery will solve anything. Now if he would just accept his share of responsibility for the fighting. Olga interviews that Steven needs to be more patient because she just had an operation and they have a baby. Meanwhile Olga asks him to not freak out and to slow down, I think. Steven says he hasn't slept, in a sort of vague apology. Olga tells him she understands that, that's why SHE isn't freaking out. But it's hard when she's in pain and the baby is crying and Steven is freaking out. He says he knows and that he'll work on it. Well that's something anyway. Olga (in a solo interview) says that Steven doesn't want to fight, but she doesn't think he can control himself when he starts. He has a temper. The baby will feel that they are nervous, so they need to be relaxed. Steven starts babbling about learning to be a couple, plus have a relationship with the baby, and they're going to have to figure it out, and blah blah. Tonight they're on their own. Then he's like, well that's what I'm saying, we can't take it out on each other. Literally she just said that. Olga laughs that he is speaking so quickly, like he's not breathing. He keeps talking, because he thinks her English is just fine, and he keeps repeating himself about how they're going to have to figure out a lot of stuff. We get it. I hope this is just nerves and not Steven not listening, or thinking Olga is dumb and needs him to repeat things. She begs him to be quiet and listen to silence. I think he actually tries to claim the baby can't hear if he's not loud, but he does eventually shut up. Olga hopes they'll learn and fight less.

Leida tries to clean the house, but she has to figure out the vacuum. The family went home, so now it's just them. She's still mad about the messy apartment, and now she's cleaning. Leida is convinced Tasha trashed the place on purpose. Her house in Indonesia is very clean, because they have maids. Eric has found some houses, and Leida tries to grill him on how big it is. He won't say, but “it's big”. But until then, they will have to share the apartment with Tasha. Alless is sleeping on an air mattress in their room. Leida tells him to make Tasha move out sooner. “As soon as possible”. But buying a house does take time. Then Leida says that it's going to be hard to meet Tasha after “what she did to me, to make the apartment messy.” Why haven't they met yet? I mean they're all living there, right? Or is Tasha avoiding coming home? I have no idea why they haven't all met yet, unless they were all in Wisconsin for a day and then took Leida's parents back to New York. Eric is worried about this meeting, because everyone is pissed at everyone else already. Leida doesn't want to meet her at all. That's how pissed she is over the mess. Eric is like, we can't put her on the street, and Leida says “You have to.” ...no? Eric isn't about to kick her out, and he tells Leida that Tasha lives here still so deal with it. Leida says she's not happy, as if this will cause Eric to change his mind. No dice. “She's your family now.” True. Leida picks a fight because Eric isn't folding quilts “proper”. She seems a peach.

Tasha arrives home and says it's nice in here, so Leida immediately says “All right”, and then refuses to look at Tasha or return her greeting right away. Yeah, real mature. When Tasha asks how she likes it here, Leida is like “Well finally I fixed it”. Tasha laughs that she meant in America, and Leida just responds that they've been fixing the apartment. She apologizes, and says she's been busy and she was told it wasn't OK. Leida won't make eye contact, she just complains about the apartment while she faces Eric. Tasha did claim she just wanted Leida to be comfortable. She sits on the couch, and Leida keeps on complaining that she was upset and then flat out asks Tasha if she did it on purpose. Of course Tasha denies this. Leida just responds “I felt like that.” OK, but that doesn't mean that's what happened. Tasha makes the mistake of telling everyone that it was way cleaner than she's used to, because of course that doesn't go over well. “So, are you feel bad about it or not?” She did apologize, but I guess Leida wasn't listening. Tasha does feel bad, she's not wracked with guilt, but she does feel bad that Leida had a bad reaction. I know Tasha is standing up for herself, but you can't really apologize with qualifiers like that. Eric joins in, and he doesn't make a ton of sense. Tasha for some reason says it's difficult to describe how she felt about it? Eric says either she feels bad or she doesn't. True, Tasha really needs to say she feels bad and then end the sentence. I'm not sure if Tasha has a response, she just kind of sits there, and then Leida tells her she needs to move out because they can't work it out. Leida feels that Eric invited her, and it's “their” home, which doesn't include Tasha. Tasha responds that she's been sending out applications to other apartments, because she never intended to live here forever. Then she adds on that since Leida isn't on the lease yet, she can't actually kick Tasha out. Leida wants Tasha to move out immediately, like today. Tasha tells us that they didn't agree that she'd be out by the time Leida and Alless showed up, so it doesn't matter what Leida wants because it's not happening. “I'm not going to change my lifestyle just to fit her needs.” I mean eventually I'd move out if I was her, simply to not live with my dad and his new wife and a small child. But I can see why she's refusing to move out immediately. Turns out Tasha is also on the lease, which is why she said at the start that it wasn't her problem. They can't legally get rid of her. She suggests that Eric and Leida move out, if they don't want to live with her. Eric says it's easier for Tasha, then promises to find a solution. Said solution is to put her in a budget motel that charges by the month. Yeah, great solution. They'll store her stuff, and she can come and get her mail, but they need the space. Eric is annoyed that Tasha knew when Leida was coming and dragged her feet on getting her own place, but right now I'm looking at the satisfied smirk on Leida's face and it's very obnoxious. She thinks she won and it's obnoxious.

Tasha asks for time, because she's working on it. Eric reveals that they used to split the bills, but over the past few months he's taken on more and more of the bills, to the point where he's paying all of the cable, electric, and grocery bills. This is so Tasha would have more cash to save up for a deposit on another apartment. Leida now is mad about that, because of course he didn't tell her that. Because he didn't think it would come up. Meaning he didn't think he'd have to shame Tasha about not saving money and moving like he asked her. Tasha says again that she can't move out today, it's not that simple, and she's done talking about it for now. Tasha is worried about this relationship because of how Leida is acting, but the problem of “Is Leida just using Eric to get to the US?”, this problem is not Tasha's problem. Once Tasha is out of the room, Leida asks if she's still paying half the rent, and Eric says last month she did, but this month she hasn't because he didn't ask for it, so she would have money for a deposit. Leida yells that he needs to tell her every detail, because she tells him everything. What else doesn't she know? He says nothing, and she is like “you're in big trouble if I find out something else.” Now 90 days is not enough time to know someone, and Eric must be hiding something, and she doesn't know what she'll do. I thought you told your family you were forced to make it work? She insists that since he's going to be her husband, he has to tell her everything, period. Uh huh.

Time for Nick's super spy mission to spy on Asuelu. Kalani is “letting” them take the baby clothes shopping, and she hopes Asuelu will step up and do the right thing without her there to tell him what to do. Of course before they leave she has a list of things like “Don't let him put things in his mouth, he will choke”. Asuelu thinks Kalani finally trusts him with the baby, which is kind of sad. But he does want to prove he can take care of Oliver. Nick asks what Asuelu's favorite thing is about being Oliver's dad. “Because he's white and his mom's from America.” He's not white though? He's ¾ Samoan. Nick is of course concerned about this. It's totally OK for Nick to make this judgment, but his condom gift is just a good joke and I am sure we shouldn't judge him for that. Sure. Asuelu eventually says playing with the baby and taking him outside, etc. Nick has now decided that Kalani is justified in having him do this dumb spy mission.

In the store Asuelu finds a cute overall outfit, with a plaid shirt, which Nick doesn't like because apparently they're here for pajamas. Lame. They find one that says “little bro”, but Nick says he can't get it because he's not a little brother. Nick is speaking to Asuelu with the same tone Kalani uses, which is to say, like Asuelu is also a small child. They find some stripes, and Asuelu gives it to Oliver to ask if he likes it. Immediately Oliver starts chewing on it, and then Nick is taking it out of his mouth, and explaining that you don't know who touched it. As far as I can tell, it was in his mouth for under 30 seconds, but whatever. “And then is that it?” Well you didn't want him to buy the overalls, and you said “pajamas”, and those are pajamas, so why are you now giving him the option to get something else? The cashier offers to take the outfits (ha, he's going to buy the overalls) so Asuelu uses this opportunity to put Oliver on his shoulders. He never lets go of Oliver. Nick stares, and then says in confessional that it's very concerning because Oliver can't support his head and Asuelu is oblivious, etc. First of all, it certainly looks like he's supporting his head. Secondly, according to what I can find, Oliver should be able to hold up his head at 4 months. And he's six months, so if he can't hold up his head at this point then I'd like to know why and what you are doing about it. Nick thinks Asuelu is going to drop the baby. Like, he's treating it as a given. They argue about whether or not putting the baby on Asuelu's shoulders is safe or not. I think Asuelu has a hold on him, and it's not the safest, but it's safe. Asuelu does take him down because Oliver is chewing on his ear. Nick tells us that he has decided that Asuelu's putting the baby on his shoulders, and letting him chew on some clothes, means he shouldn't be left alone with Oliver ever. Also they shouldn't get married because Asuelu isn't going to be a good dad. Asuelu thinks shopping was good, and also Nick should mind his own business because Oliver is his son, and if he falls, Asuelu accepts the blame. Nick asks if they carry babies on their shoulders like that in Samoa, and Asuelu says yeah, this is a big boy now. So at least someone is asking about Asuelu's cultural viewpoints on babies. “After today I hope Kalani trust me forever with my son Oliver.” Aw hun.

They get home, and Kalani basically greets the baby and not really Asuelu. She also knows Nick picked out the pajamas, but for some reason Asuelu lies about it. Kalani asks how the baby did, and Asuelu says he was good but Nick was being weird because he was correcting Asuelu and was all in his business. Of course Kalani just wants to know if he was holding the baby with one hand or two, and Asuelu responds that he is old enough, and knows what he's doing. Kalani then flat out tells Asuelu that the point of this shopping trip was for Nick to watch him with the baby, and she told Nick to do this, “so he was probably just letting you know what I would want.” Asuelu gets upset and starts repeating “I'm wrong, I'm wrong” over and over. He interviews that he's concerned with his relationship with Kalani. He wants to marry her, she's the only woman he wants to marry, but if he can't do anything right then why choose him? Agreed. All we have seen is Kalani talking down to him and then saying she wont' leave him alone with the baby, so then what is the point of Asuelu's being here? Of course Kalani is like, well he just wants what's best for the baby, because I don't think she can see any possible problem with asking her brother to spy on her fiancee. She interviews that he's still unsafe with the baby so she's not marrying him. Fine, then actually have an adult conversation instead of avoiding all your problems, tell him you aren't marrying him, and let him go back to Samoa and stop wasting his time.

Fernanda and Jonathan walk around downtown Chicago. He thinks Jackie had concerns, but they got along really well and Jackie feels better. Fernanda loves Chicago, and she declares she wants to move there. You can meet people from everywhere. They go back home (well, to Jackie's house) so they can have dinner with Jonathan's mom. Fernanda is super nervous.

Mom comes in, and they at least can be polite and civil. Unlike Leida. Mom admits it's been kind of tough, he missed Christmas with the family so he could propose, and she thought maybe he's going through a mid-life crisis or something. But then she says she hopes it's real, and she sounds very sincere about that hope. Fernanda does admit she doesn't like the cold, but she loves the big city and all the people. There is some more awkward silence, and then Mom asks why Jonathan's wearing a wedding ring. He says he's been wearing it for a while, and her response is “Well I don't see you regularly, but anyway”. Oo, so it's like that then. They tell her that they don't have a wedding date, because they were waiting for this conversation first. Fernanda is so young, does she even want to get married? “Obviously, yes”. Mom doesn't think she'd get married this young, but Jonathan replies that she had him at 20. Damn. No, Mom says he can't do math. She had him at 22.5. Oh, big fucking difference. Plus, “it was a different time” and the age gap. Mom fails at the math on the age gap, which Jonathan throws back at her, so she says not to get defensive. She deserved that though. Fernanda has already figured out they don't respect each other, and she insists this will affect her and Jonathan doesn't care. I still think Jonathan is trying to reassure her that his family won't stop him from getting married, without understanding how much Fernanda needs to have some kind of family supporting her. I can see both sides. Some people are very close to their family and some people don't speak to their family, and it's different for everyone. You can't declare one way is right. Fernanda says the way she sees it is, there's nothing that says you have to meet a certain number of men before you meet your husband. She knows Jonathan is the one. Mom brings up again that Fernanda is young, and Jonathan says she keeps saying that, and when is she going to accept they're getting married? She claims she knows that. Outside, I guess after the visit, Mom says that she's concerned about Fernanda's age (no shit, you won't shut up about it), and she thinks Fernanda should go back to Mexico and they should have a long distance relationship, and not be attached to this deadline. I don't like that her solution to this is “get rid of Fernanda”. Jonathan tells his mom that it's a lot, but she needs to see that they're happy together, and they're in love and getting married. Jonathan regrets that Fernanda feels caught in the middle here, and he says that he has to protect her and defend her, because if he can't convince her now that he's on her side, he never will. Mom says “I hope you don't think I'm being harsh” because I guess she is someone who thinks “well I didn't mean it that way” is an apology? Full disclosure, right after the word “harsh” the audio cuts off immediately, which makes me think that sentence continued and they cut out something important. Mom “continues” by saying this has been hard for her from the beginning because “it's scary”. Jonathan asks for advice because she must have some, being married a couple times. That was cold. Mom responds in kind and says “The advice is don't do it.”

Fernanda interviews that she knows she's young, everyone knows that, and she can't change that. She can't become 25 years old to please Jonathan's mom. Jonathan tells his mom that he wants to make the best of this visit, and Fernanda had wanted to go dress shopping. “Like a wedding dress?” Are you serious of course a wedding dress. “And Jon's paying for it?” Well you aren't offering. He trusts her with the credit card. Mom weakly claims she's trying to be funny. Ah, the “I was just joking, calm down” defense. Fernanda haltingly invites her, and maybe Jackie too. Mom says it's a lot to process but she'll think about it. Do you really want her to come? I mean...well, thinking about it is probably the best you're going to do. Mom says she's leaving, and on her way out she starts to apologize, if she was...if she asked too many questions. I can't tell if she really is thinking about how she acted and is sorry, or if she just saw their reactions and knows that's what she's supposed to do. Fernanda will understand when she has her own kids one day. Ugh, the worst argument. Fernanda is upset that her family fully welcomed Jonathan, but his family did no such thing. They treat her like she's a bad person. She cries but won't talk to Jonathan about it, so he holds her while she sobs. Aww, I'm gonna cry too. Jonathan claims she's just concerned, which is maybe true but Jackie did a much better job hiding her concerns.

Next time (maybe): Colt and Larissa look at new houses because Larissa doesn't want to live with his mom, but Colt thinks it's not fair to make him choose between his wife and his mother (shut up Colt), Fernanda tries on wedding dresses and Jonathan's mom is rude about it, Steven continues to bitch about Russia, someone is leaving a million comments somewhere about Jay and dropping N-bombs, Asuelu accuses Kalani of not liking his family but somehow that's not true, Eric and Leida fight about child support.