Top Chef 1/17/19--"Carne!" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: so we had a competition for Last Chance Kitchen, where Nini and Brother Luck competed to come back to the competition. Nini made a couple more mistakes so in the end, Brother Luck returned to the show. I wasn't that surprised. The Elimination challenge was to make a canape inspired by a Prohibition-era cocktail. Eric made an oyster dish, which is not a canape, but not very many people made actual canapes so I guess that wasn't that important. Anyway, Eric won. Brian deep fried some gnocchi and they turned out terrible, but then Brother Luck didn't make a dish inspired by his cocktail so he was eliminated again, wasting everyone's time. (click for more)

On Last Chance Kitchen, I guess Brother Luck was supposed to stick around and battle whoever was sent home this week, but he quit. So the peanut gallery (minus Carrie and Jim) all competed in a blind test to take his place, and Pablo won.

There is an obnoxious amount of crowing about “protecting the house”, because Brother Luck wasn't able to “intrude” on this group. Brother Luck did give an interview that everyone was really nice to him, so either this is producer driven drama, or everyone is two-faced.

Eddie gets to call home. He talks to his adorable son, who comes with him to work often. Aww. I think this is the first call home this season.

Lena Waithe is waiting with Padma for the Quickfire. She talks about trying local foods when she's on tour. Padma talks about the Brown Hotel, and hilariously Eric and Justin laugh and share a nod before she's even done talking. This is where the Hot Brown was created. Justin has one on each of his restaurant menus. Basically a Hot Brown is an open-faced turkey sandwich covered in Mornay sauce, which is bechamel with cheese added. He now has to win, but of course Sara also has a million ideas. Then Padma brings out a whole tray of Hot Browns, which are all in ceramic dishes shaped like skillets and there's bacon on top. It's a great late night dish, but that's because it's heavy and is basically an excuse to eat cheese sauce. The Quickfire is, obviously, reimagine a Hot Brown. You can do whatever, but it has to have turkey, a sauce, and be plated in a skillet. I'm guessing the secret requirement will be that you need some kind of bread or something, or else it's not really a Hot Brown. Winner gets immunity.

30 minutes. Adrienne is using bourbon and going Southern, but maybe lighter. Justin is frying turkey and then making maple Mornay sauce. That sounds pretty good. Eddie talks about how he and his wife would drive around looking for BBQ places, and then eat at places they saw while they were driving to other places, and then “we were gross on the way home...it was awesome.” Goals, you guys. Even with this great memory he wants to make a salad so it's lighter. Brian is thinking Nashville hot chicken. Sara is making scotch eggs. She's flailing and making Brian help her. Kelsey goes for croque madame, which is a grilled ham and cheese with a fried egg on top. Sometimes bechamel. Michelle says this dish reminds her of breakfast. Lots of places have a big heavy breakfast that will fuel you for the day/soak up the last of the booze you drunk last night. I'd eat a Hot Brown for breakfast. Some of Sara's scotch eggs aren't cooked. As she runs for her backups, she can't get them on the plate in time. Wow, I feel like it's been a long time since someone failed to plate anything because they ran out of time.

Justin: “Kentucky Fried Breakfast Brown”--smoked gouda, maple Mornay, and fried turkey breast over grilled bread. Eddie: turkey and speck salad with herbs, citrus, cauliflower Parmesan cream and grilled sourdough bread. Brian: “Nashville hot turkey” with country hearth bread and traditional Nashville hot sauce. Eric: “3 A.M. Hot Brown”--housemade spiced pepper sauce, Parmesan espuma (that's foam), pancetta, and turkey. And Sara, who has nothing.

Brandon: breaded and fried eggplant, smoked paprika turkey, honey ham, roasted cauliflower, and pepper sauce. Adrienne: fried turkey on cheese garlic bread, bourbon corn puree, pickled corn, Swiss chard, and jalapenos. Kelsey: “croque madame Hot Brown”--poached egg, pancetta, turkey, champagne vinaigrette, shaved Gruyere. First of all, it does not look anything like a sandwich, but several white lumps. Second, her sauce she's supposed to have is the vinaigrette, and Padma is not impressed. David: turkey tenders with blue cheese sauce and chipotle bacon jam. Michelle: fried turkey ham with crispy potatoes with brown butter smokey aioli and Kentucky cheese.

Sara obviously was on the bottom. Brian's turkey was too dry and needed more sauce, and Kelsey's dish wasn't decadent and no one is going to order poached eggs and vinaigrette at 3am. On the top are Justin, who mixed savory and sweet, Eddie, whose sauce was apparently amazing, and Adrienne, who made a lighter dish but still decadent. Eddie smiles and Padma gives him shit for it. Justin is the winner! I feel like he kept the unhealthiness and smothered sandwich feel, but with slightly different flavors. Also bread, I told you guys. Justin is thrilled and asks for a hug before going back into line.

For the Elimination challenge, Padma brings out Nancy Silverton. Also there's a big cart full of local ingredients. Kentucky is the largest producer of beef east of the Mississippi. A knife pull happens, and everyone gets different cuts of beef. They must make a dish centering around their cut of meat. You know I kind of like these challenges, because someone will get a weird cut and make it great and someone will get an easy cut and fuck it up. In order to get these cuts, they'll get an entire side of beef, and also an eighth-generation Italian butcher to help them cut it all up. Brian knows who the guy is, which is hilarious somehow. They'll get primals out of it, but then they'll have to break them down the rest of the way. I think, and I'm not sure but hopefully I'm reading Wikipedia properly, this means they'll get their cuts but will have to do the final trimming and cleaning. But I don't think it's a situation like on Top Chef Texas where that idiot Tyler was butchering and failed so much that Tom kicked him out immediately, but not before he also screwed Grayson with his shit butchering skills.

10 minutes to look around at the local stuff here, and then Whole Foods. Adrienne is very glad to have local stuff, as she grew up on a farm. She wants to do “black and blue steak”. Sara wants to do sausage again. Brian has to reassure her that making sausage is “showing technique”. But her husband is a cattle farmer so let's hope she doesn't embarrass him. Eddie also has heard of the butcher, so it looks like if you are really into butchering you know the guy. Justin has flank steak and talks about having to cut it very thin if you don't cook it to well done. I just mention it in case this is foreshadowing. Brandon is making steak tartare, and when he hears David is also making tartare he flat out says “Maybe you should change yours.” David immediately says no. Brandon refuses to change either, because he's cooked beef and it lands him in the middle so he's not going to cook? Brian talks about how his dad got him into cooking, and now that he's gone it's important to keep cooking.

2 hours to cook. First, though, is Dario Cecchini, a huge cleaver, and half a cow. He gets out a hacksaw and the cleaver and gets to work. He's a strange old man but he clearly knows what he's doing. He also tells them which cuts are which. So everyone has their own chunk of meat, but there are still hacksaws out because the pieces are still too big to be used as-is. But they at least won't have to work together to get their cuts. Michelle is braising chuck with hominy. David is cold smoking his tartare. Justin seems personally offended that everyone is breaking down their meat into small cuts. He feels they should all have giant hunks of meat, I guess. Eric got the head, so he's braising the tongue and cheeks. Sara complains about how she didn't get enough meat on her piece. She's never used these sausage casings before. David is worried he's not doing enough if he doesn't smoke the meat. Eddie is making stuffed cabbage, but with Kentucky romaine instead of cabbage.

Tom Time! Brandon says he's making tartare, David is too, and Tom just says “Why?” Oops. He's cut up the tenderloin and the New York strip, and Tom just does his “OK it's your funeral” voice because it's a missed opportunity. Brandon feels he can't change course now, and he probably can't if he's already cut everything up. Brian is making some strawberry vinegar. He does not get the Tom Disapproval.

Dario and his wife are eating with the judges, Nancy Silverton, the owner of the restaurant they're in, and the farmer whose cow it was. Nice. Back in the kitchen Brandon is using a squeeze bottle to drizzle grapeseed oil into a blender to make a sauce, and the lid falls off. So that might be a problem. He decides to use xanthan gum to thicken up the sauce.

Brandon and David are serving together because of course they are. Brandon (loin cut): Asian style beef tartare with miso egg sauce, black raspberries, crispy potatoes and asparagus. David (round cut): cold smoked steak tartare, allium confit, Kentucky cave aged cheddar and dijonnaise. Tom asks Brandon about the thickness of the sauce and Brandon mentions the grapeseed oil but not the xanthan gum. After the chefs leave, Tom says he is confused by Brandon's dish. I guess he's put oil in the tartare, for some kind of mouthfeel, but the sauce is supposed to do that? So why is there sauce? Also too many onions. David's tartare is also terrible, because the texture is way off and it doesn't taste like beef.

Justin (flank cut): flank steak, creamy polenta, braised mustard greens, local carrot puree. Adrienne (sirloin cut): NY strip with collard greens and pickled green garlic salad. Adrienne's dish is well seasoned and cooked, and the pickled greens are a nice acidic crunch to contrast the steak. Justin did a great job of showcasing the beef, because as Tom reminds everyone, this is a beef challenge. The farmer says she would love for someone to come out with just a plate of ribs for them to gnaw on.

Sara's sausage casings are really thick, and as they cool they're too soft. She frantically sears them. Well, she asks Eddie to sear them as she freaks out. As Sara and Brandon come out, Padma makes a comment about how small the plates are. It looks like Sara served everyone a single slice of sausage, and Brian's plate isn't that much bigger. Sara (plate cut): plate sausage, young turnips, mulberry and garlic scape vinaigrette. Brian (rib cut): ribeye with charred spring vegetables, and raspberry infused bordelaise. Padma is pissed. Half of the sausage is casing, although Dario does tell the table that the plate is the hardest cut, and the idea of making sausage wasn't terrible. Brian managed to both oversear his meat and keep it raw. Tom is pissed too, because now we're getting into “your dish is so terrible it's disrespectful” territory.

Michelle (chuck cut): braised chuck, ginger berry sauce, white corn grits with cheese, and charred fennel. Eddie (brisket cut): “golumpki”--brisket-stuffed romaine with ragu, beet and berry sauce. Eddie had a tough piece of meat (brisket in two hours) but he made a great dish. Michelle's meat is dry and her grits are lumpy. It seems like she could have chosen meat from a slightly different location and had something that wasn't dry, because her cut is pretty big.

Eric knows his cheeks aren't quite done. Kelsey (shank cut): braised shank, carrot and saffron grits, braised greens, red pepper vinaigrette with pickled salad. Eric (head cut): braised cheeks, beef tongue mousse, lentils, and seasonal vegetables. No one can find the mousse on the plate and they're skeptical. Kelsey's grits don't really taste like carrots.

Judges' Table. Tom immediately says there were too many missed opportunities here. The portions were all tiny and no one just showed that they could cook meat. Justin, Adrienne, and Eddie are the top three. Justin's steak was tender and cooked really well. Eddie ground the brisket because he didn't have time to cook it. But Tom and the judges really liked how creative and smart it was. Adrienne gave them a dish that was full of flavor. The winner is Eddie! And he wins an autographed apron from Dario, which he can use when he stages at his butcher shop in Tuscany for a week. Eddie is freaking out but in a good way, now, and you can tell the rest of the chefs are jealous.

Before announcing the bottom three, Padma tells everyone else that none of them lived up to where they should have been. Sara, Brandon, and Brian are the bottom. Brian took his meat off the bone, because he didn't want to serve them a giant beef rib. Of course Tom is pissed about this, because he secretly wanted a bone. But they fed the whole restaurant. Right? They fed everyone and you can't give everyone a bone. So how exactly did you think that was going to go down, Tom? Tom feels that he was scared of cooking? So he tells everyone to be themselves. This is condescending and annoying because you know next week someone will get in trouble for being inelegant and boring. Sara had the hardest cut of meat, and she already knows that the casing wasn't great. She wasn't happy with her sausage and says she should have just made meatloaf. Tom throws his hands up like “oh of course, you're such an idiot for not thinking of that.” Shut up, Tom. They always do this, where someone is like “you know, I thought about doing this instead” and then the judges always say “you should have done that! You would have won!” but you know that's a lie. Padma twists the knife by saying Sara, the Kentuckian of all people, should have known better. They're really attacking her. I'm not saying she shouldn't go home, because I think if she does it's not a travesty, but she didn't kill anyone so maybe calm down some. Brandon starts to explain his dish and all the stuff. Graham says the grapeseed oil made the meat slimy, and Brandon is like, oh, that's probably the xanthan gum I put in as an emulsifier. The judges act like he kicked a puppy. “Oh this is about beef, why would you put xanthan gum?!” Wasn't the xanthan gum for the sauce? So it would be the right consistency? So are you saying he shouldn't have had sauce at all? Because if the idea of the sauce is fine, then you know they would have nailed him for having thin sauce or whatever. Padma does actually say clearly that no sauce would have been better, which is at least clear and helpful.

Brian broke down his meat too far, and spent time on the wrong things. I guess we're arguing that he tried to impress them by the amount of work he put into sauces and butchery and whatnot, but apparently you were supposed to just make steak with nothing on it for this challenge. Also that the dish wasn't really Brian's style. Brandon did do something that was his style, but it was terrible. And now the asparagus was too much or something. Sara doesn't do fine dining, but she keeps doing it because other people do. And let's not forget, she's watched them all get praise for their fine dining. The caliber of contestant on this show is much higher than it used to be, and no one makes simple dishes any more unless they're forced to. But her portion size was too small, and she should have known better on that.

Tom gets on a soapbox about how kids don't know where beef comes from? They need to honor the product, and they didn't. Brandon is sent home. He's disappointed he is going home for a stupid mistake. He talks about reinvigorating the passion he had.

Next week: going to the lake, cooking on a boat, the power goes out, Adrienne is suddenly very cold and she looks like death warmed over. I hope she's OK.

Last Chance Kitchen: Tom explains that Pablo beat everyone, but not that Brother Luck quit. Brandon is ready for redemption. Tom couldn't eat more than a bite, which explains why he was eliminated. Tom has always said that an edible dish will trump an inedible dish every time, regardless of theme or anything. Today Brandon and Pablo will have to make a dish with slimy foods—Tom's least favorite texture. Snails, okra (a well-documented hate of Tom's), jellyfish, natto (fermented soybeans that get slimy like snot, somehow well-loved as breakfast food), mountain yams. Tom is not thrilled. You must take one protein and one plant from the table.

30 minutes. Brandon grabs snails and yam noodles, and seaweed. Pablo has jellyfish and okra. Everyone knows Tom hates okra, but Pablo says he was going always going to take the opportunity to make okra for Tom if it came up. Yeah, plenty of people have made okra for Tom that he ate and enjoyed. The jellyfish is very salty, and Pablo wants to dry it in the oven and then make like a cured meat. Brandon is very confident. Nini tells Brandon he did a good job picking ingredients, and Pablo is like “OK thanks Nini” so they all promise they're rooting for Pablo. Brandon rushes to get his dashi broth started. Pablo is making okra tempura, which is honestly the easiest way to make non-slimy okra. It's turned out pretty well. Meanwhile, the peanut gallery is discussing how Kevin just said he feels left out because he's not in a jumpsuit like Natalie, Nini, and Caitlin are. Nini just says that's on him because she gave him the opportunity. Heh. Pablo is also making some beef to hide the flavors I guess.

Tom Time! Brandon is going to blanch his noodles to get out as much of the slime as he can. Tom looks skeptical. Pablo tells Tom his plan to dry out the jellyfish and grate it over the steak. Caitlin asks Tom to save them some food. Sassy!Tom and the peanut gallery are the best part of Last Chance Kitchen. Brandon is thickening his broth with cornstarch. Tom is still over there bothering him. I think everyone gets done.

Tom legit goes over to Pablo and fake sneezes so he can fling neon green slime on the table. Pablo: seared skirt steak with black garlic aioli, okra tempura and grated jellyfish. Brandon: warm mountain yam noodles with spicy dashi and sauteed snails. Brandon says he's used mountain yam a lot, while Pablo has admitted he never used jellyfish before today. The tempura was light, and the jellyfish wasn't slimy at all. Brandon also got rid of the slime on the noodles and his broth was good and spicy. The winner is Brandon. He changed Tom's mind about the noodles. Aww. Pablo says he learned about his own style and himself. Brandon managed to redeem himself. I don't hate Brandon, I don't find him as annoying as I know other people do. I'm mostly indifferent on him. Maybe he won't be that bad.