Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Much like the Soviet Union, Andre cannot last

I was rooting for Andre. I really was. VJ bugs me. He's a cocky bastard and he reminds me of people I know who think they are all that and a side of fries, but in reality, they're not even worth bad potato salad. Andre thought about it, realized he can't even speak proper English so giving a Power Point presentation would be tricky, and used his phone to call Pickel, who everyone loves and who can talk anyone's ear off. No one saw it coming and even VJ was like, very sneaky, you coward. And then he had to go speak up and babble about nothing and I think that might have ruined it.

If I could do a good Russian accent when people asked me how I was doing I would say "I'm feeling Soviet!" Clicky clicky

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Project Runway 12/12/07--"What's the Skinny?" summary

Previously on Project Runway: the designers have to take old busted trends and make them relevant, which is stupid because if they were relevant they wouldn’t be old and busted. Jillian leads her team by creating clothes she would wear, and she wins. Chris, as adorable as he is, is destroyed by the shoulder pads and loses. (click for more)

In the morning everyone is sad to see Chris go. Jack is talking about sewing one handed with one hand over his mouth. He says he thought he had a pimple inside his nose but it’s getting worse and he’s all swollen. Like, his whole upper lip and that part of his face. He thinks it might be a skin staph infection, because he‘s had them before. Dude, those are serious. Ricky tells him to get over it and come on. I’m pretty sure he’s joking.

Heidi tells the designers to meet their models. There is a huge silhouette (which confuses everyone) and it’s a woman in a gigantic wedding dress. Steven thinks it might be sisters of designers or something, but then he doesn’t know any of them. Each of the women has lost a large amount of weight and these are their favorite outfits from their heaviest. They still have them? I mean, speaking as someone who is the “before” size they’re talking about, if I lost that much weight I’d burn those clothes. Everyone introduces themselves and says how much weight they’ve lost. Some of them have lost the equivalent of an entire person. The challenge is to make a new look with the old clothes. Christian bitches about it. Heidi draws names to pair people up. The main thing to know is that everyone has mostly normal clothes, except the woman in the wedding dress, who is paired with Steven.

Chris left them a farewell note and it’s so cute. You can tell everyone really liked him. They have until midnight to make an outfit that is suitable for everyday life but also expresses their view as a designer. Tim gives them 30 minutes to meet with their clients. Victorya is like, they’re not ideal model size and the rules are different. None of them are that fat, but they are not models for sure. Kevin says game on. Christian is pissed because the girl is super boring and always wears black and doesn’t like print or color or dresses or sleeveless or anything that Christian would like. Someone call the wahmbulance. Steven has no idea what to do with himself. That’s totally not fair. Christian got a black t-shirt and jeans. Steven has a wedding dress. How is he going to make something for every day? They only get $10 and 15 minutes to shop at Mood. Steven is going to use the wedding dress as trim for a black dress, and Jillian has found fabric in the exact color of the shirt she has, because the shirt has too much seaming or something. That’s about all shopping is good for.

Work time. I don’t know if I could cut up someone’s wedding dress. Jack’s face almost looks worse than it did this morning, if that‘s possible. He doesn’t want to leave because the treatment is hardcore. According to Tim’s Take (which is back! Hooray!) it’s a week in the hospital on an IV. He says that the infection is something anyone could get, and his immune system isn’t suppressed, it’s just tricky to treat it. Staph infections are nothing to play with even if you are healthy. He calls his doctor on the phone and his doctor wants him to come in right away. He worked hard to get here and he’s pretty upset about it. Tim comes in and he and Jack go outside to talk. Sweet P says his health is more important than the competition. Tim calls them around, and Jack’s sobbing, and he tells everyone that he doesn’t want to leave at all, but he isn’t comfortable staying, and he quits. I’m going to cry. I mean, I know he’s OK now, but this sucks. Everyone cries when they say goodbye.

Kit says it was hard to handle the emotions. Everyone seems pretty down. Suddenly Ricky is wearing shoes off the accessory wall, because he’s the same size as the model and he wants to look at his clothes with heels. It’s freaky. (Kmanpat: “He’s entirely too comfortable in those.“) Tim makes them gather around for another surprise, which is Chris! Now that I think about it, wasn’t he in the previews? Maybe not, they’re not that stupid. Either way I can’t remember. They brought him back to take Jack’s place. Everyone cheers and is happy! Yay! He gets to stay overnight to work because it’s so late in the day. Now their clients come in for fitting. Chris loves the challenge since he is no stranger to dieting. Christian…seems to be making nothing awesome. He’s taking the shirt in and he’s then going to take in the pants. Blah. It looks briefly like Steven’s client will be mad for not having color but she doesn’t care. Steven thinks he’ll be done on time. There is no client drama a la Angela’s mom, which is good because that was stupid drama, but also bad because it’s more boring.

Chris asks to see Steven’s wedding dress and he loves it and asks for it. Because he’s going to wear it. Sadly this does not happen. Christian says fierce again but it’s not to the camera. Maybe that’s just how he talks.

Tim comes in and asks Christian how fierce his outfit is. Hee, Tim mocks you. Someone else in the background laughs too. Elisa’s outfit is busy; there are multiple layers and a slip that sticks out of the bottom of the skirt. Tim thinks it doesn’t work for the client. I like Elisa. I just want to say that. Steven tells Tim that the wedding dress is only going to be used as “cuff and collar” and let me tell you, that’s not what I think of when I think of “cuffs and collar”. Tim is worried he’s throwing away most of the dress, but Steven pretends like he might stand up to Nina if questioned. I’d like to see that. Chris wants to make a sailor suit. Yeah. Tim warns him not to make a costume. They agree that he should make as many decisions as he can now while he still has his brain, and Tim says, “I’ve make more bad decisions at 3 o’clock in the morning than I can list.” Everyone laughs and Steven demands names. Hee! Tim claims to be an old fart since he didn’t even think of that. He promises to come back at 4am after his bad 3am decision. (Me: “Do you think that‘s what happened to Andre?”)

Christian talks smack about being finished, and in response, Sweet P asks the room if it’s against the law to kill a 12 year old. Chris says you‘d have to wait until he turns 12. Hee. Christian then asks the room, “Don’t these bitches know I’m way better than them?“ and at first I thought he was still joking, like when you tell people to shut up when they’re making fun of you. But watching it again, he seems more serious. Can’t take the heat, can you? Everyone goes home and ditches Chris in the workroom. He doesn’t want to be eliminated twice in a row.

In the morning when the designers get to the workroom they wake Chris up to go back to work. He’s so confused that he can’t even remember if he made anything. It’s done, but he has no idea if it sucks or not. Steven doesn’t know what’s going on, but he does know he‘s not done at all. Models! Kevin says everyone is looking at his model because she’s fabulous. Jillian knows that everyone can tell that she didn’t use the clothes she was given. Christian reminds us that he is awesome, of course. Chris is glad that his clothes don’t totally suck. Christian talks smack. He says that stupid thing about “the judges might die over it, or die because of it.” Honey, it wasn’t that funny the first time. Elisa says that if her client is happy, then she’s won as far as she’s concerned. Ricky is crying. I know that is not news, but this time I think because his client is super happy and he’s touched. Steven runs around like a crazy person and he says panic is fun. He’s reduced to gluing the hem of his dress, as his client looks on in horror.

Heidi is wearing a very short dress with a blousy top and it’s not that great. Also she needs a haircut because her bangs are too long. She welcomes Chris back, and I just had a thought. When they kicked Keith out, they didn’t bring anyone back to replace him. Interesting. Guest judge: Patrick Robinson, head designer of the Gap. Nice fro. Sweet P: halter dress in green. It used to be a giant olive caftan. Jillian: another halter dress with a racerback, this one in red. Ricky: empire waist top and capris. It’s very cute. Chris: it’s a light blue top and a pencil skirt with a red sash and pleat in the back. I think the sash might be what pushes it over the line but I like the fit. Christian: she’s got pants and a black ruffled shirt. It’s very Christian. Eh. Victorya: green velvet knee length dress, where the center bodice part looks like a different fabric. Reversed maybe? Or from the sleeves? It used to be one of those floor length long sleeved velvet dresses people sometimes think us fat girls like to wear. There’s a belt but I think it could be more flattering. Elisa: red jacket, long tunic with knee length skirt. Or possibly short dress with the slip peeking out. Kit: pink dress with a faux wrap top. It‘s OK. Kevin: yellow strapless bustier tunic (out of a blazer) with leggings. Very hot. Steven: she looks like a pilgrim. It’s all black with a white collar and white cuffs on elbow length sleeves and then the skirt is below the knee. Rami: sleeveless top and pencil skirt which looks great.

Steven, Christian, Chris, Kevin, Jillian, and Elisa are called out. Everyone else can go. Kevin’s model loves his outfit. Everyone loves it. Kors is like, be careful with leggings, everyone has them so it’s not unique. Blah, whatever. Elisa says that Tracy needs active stuff. There’s a sash I didn’t see before. Heidi wanted something more classic. They think that Elisa didn’t make something that fit her client. She’s also cut her client into sections and she’s short. Jillian gets called out on the fact that she used new fabric, but that‘s about the only thing bad. Kors says it’s a dress that makes her look great but not hoochie. Nina wants something with the original shirt but she is sexy and tasteful. While we’re on the subject of not using the materials given, Steven gets yelled at next. Kors is speechless. He thinks the fabric was amazing (white polyester satin? Um, no) but it’s the beading he wanted. Stupid. Christian gets high praise, it’s super commercial, the client loves it, etc. Chris’s client feels good about his “costume“, and they like the top, but not the red. Kors is like, 1957 Shirley McClaine hooker with a heart of gold, or something. Shut up, orangey. You will never match “barefoot Appalachian Lil’ Abner Barbie” so stop trying to come up with stuff.

Judge bashing. Not bashing the judges, but the part where the judges bash the contestants. First though they discuss that they love that Kevin‘s model loved her outfit and the bustier was great. Christian’s clothes are young and cool. Jillian has a beautiful dress. Elisa didn’t match her client and visually chopped her body so it looks stumpy. Steven’s outfit was a failure because he didn’t use any of his fabric. Apparently they were all waiting for some crazy fabulous thing all in white with beading. I bet if that’s what he had given them they’d complain about how it was too much like the original outfit. Heidi brings up that she looked like a French maid, but really, it’s a pilgrim outfit. Chris gets in trouble for the costume thing again. I just don’t see it. I guess that’s me.

Jillian is safe. Christian wins. Woo. He gets immunity, which is pretty sweet. (Me: “You know this means we’ll have to listen to him talk about how awesome he is.” Kmanpat: “Don’t you mean…fierce!” Me: “…No. No I do not.”) Kevin and Chris are safe. Steven is out. Aww! I like his sense of humor. His dress did suck, though. He says just because the judges don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s awful. He doesn’t have any parting words about how he’s going to keep going or anything. He seems kind of lost.

Next week: Tim is waking them up to freak them out. They jump up and down. Jillian fails. Sweet P freaks. The workroom looks totally trashed.

Clicky clicky

Monday, December 10, 2007

I hate promo monkeys

So I'm enjoying the photo shoot, loving Andre and noticing that Andrea is really, really bossy. And VJ isn't that great but he thinks he's hot, which is pretty typical. And then they're showing how similar all of VJ's shots are to Andre's. And they really are. VJ insisted that he didn't copy, but come on, dude. You hide encyclopedias, you eavesdrop on people practicing their lines, you outright cheat and call your friend for info about the car. Do you really think we're going to believe you when you're like, "I only copy off people I like, so I didn't copy you"? And then Mary Alice is all, VJ, this shot looks totally like Andre's, and Andre is laughing and VJ looks uncomfortable, and then commercials.

And then when we get back from commercials, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENS. Mary Alice goes back to talking about how VJ sucked at the beginning but then got better, and then never mention it again. Something must have happened because Andre doesn't interview that Mary Alice let it slide or whatever. I wanted to see VJ get called out! The previews implied he'd get called on all his BS! Stupid promo monkeys. Clicky clicky

Friday, December 7, 2007

Top Chef Holiday Special summary

Dear Bravo: What’s up with your scheduling issues recently? No episode titles for “Project Runway“, episodes of “Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style” not airing when you say so, this special airing an entire day early so everyone can spoil people? Not that I’ve found spoilers. Everyone has been great about that, actually. It’s just that you’d think that a network could handle themselves better. (click for more)

We have CJ, Tre, and Sandee from season 3. Season 2 gives us Josie, Betty, and Marcel. Sigh. Tiffani and Stephen are coming from season 1. There is $20,000 at stake. I missed Padma. I saw Katie Lee Joel on “Iron Chef”, and not only did they not mention “Top Chef” once, but she still had the same monotone delivery. Sad.

Everyone arrives in Chicago, at a brownstone I guess they‘re staying at. Steven still has wide ties. He is opening a restaurant and the money could help. Also he can buy some more ties and suits. Tiffani is also opening a restaurant, and she says that’s one of the reasons she’s here, is “Top Chef“. Huh? Without that show she wouldn’t be famous! She claims people wanted her to win. Josie tells us she left kicking and screaming and has a ton of talent. Betty shrieks the instant she gets in the door. Good Lord, I did not miss that. Marcel is getting out of the car after her and at first I thought he was mocking her, but no. He looks better somehow. Also he gives Betty a hug. She tells us that her arguments with Marcel were caused by the circumstances and that she’s embarrassed. Now she can step back and see Marcel for who he really is. As he’s greeting Josie the camera shows her standing pretty far away from them. She’s just looking at the camera and smiling without opening her mouth. I think she still doesn’t like him. Well, in that battle of the seasons special or whatever, he was kind of a jerk. I love the Christmas stockings and menorah combo in the house. Marcel thinks he can get along with Betty. But then he scrunches up his face. You know they only cast those two for the drama. Sandee shows up next, with new stripy hair. Yay! Tre comes in, all low-key and competent. We did really all think he would win. He’s going to win it for all of us who contacted him and said he was awesome. And then there’s CJ. (Kmanpat and I: “CJ!!!!!”) In his interview he starts to describe his likes and dislikes like a dating video. He’s started a catering company and I want to hire him but I don’t know where he works. (Kmanpat: “Does he like math teachers?” Me: “…Shhhh, you can‘t talk anymore.”)

Betty (on a producer’s insistence I am sure) takes all the stockings down and passes them out. CJ empties his and declares “It’s f*cking broccoli!” OK, first of all, it was broccolini, which is totally different. But giving CJ a stalk of broccoli with a gold ribbon? That was hilarious. Also a Christmas card from Tom. Tiffani has a “I’m not your bitch, bitch!” T-shirt, Pepto Bismol for Josie (that was the color of that soup thing when she lost), those hand gripper things you use to increase your hand strength for Tre (I…don’t know), a tie for Stephen, KC Masterpiece for someone (I am going to guess, Sandee), hair product for Marcel. Hee. Everyone also gets aprons.

A lot of cooking and goofing off. Marcel says he liked to see Tre and CJ cooking and he thought they were good when he watched their season. Betty throws food at him later. Tre talks to us about his impressions of Marcel, which are that he has pure talent and knowledge, and he is also an asshat. But those things all together usually make a great chef. Josie wants to win, and she talks about how she and her girlfriend and some friends got jumped outside a bar and got beaten because she was gay. That was a really scary thing. She’s just glad everyone walked away and they’re all fine.

In the morning everyone goes to the Top Chef kitchens (they’re filming Season 4 in Chicago) and I know it’s not really December so this is entertaining. Padma is there with “Santa Claus.” I hope that’s Tom. The Quickfire is to make a treat for Santa in 30 minutes. “But that’s so easy!” you claim. Oh, you know there’s a twist. Under the tree is a present for each person, which has an ingredient they have to use. Heh. Much eye rolling from everyone. They draw knives to get numbers, and then Padma is all, “Who knows how to play ‘Dirty Santa?’” Stephen looks horrified. Santa, of course, raises his hand. Betty explains for us that once the first person picks their present, the second person can steal it from them, and so forth. If you’ve ever had a white elephant gift exchange, you know how this works. That’s not what we call it though. Tre is up first, and he gets cheese balls. Not Cheetos, but the kind made out of spreadable cheese rolled in nuts. I was hoping they’d make them steal gifts before opening, but sadly that doesn’t happen. CJ gets smoked salmon. He wants to leave Tre handicapped with the cheese balls. Betty steals the salmon, so CJ ends up with canned truffles. Tiffani steals these too. I guess you can’t steal things back. However, I must applaud Tiffani because the next gift he ends up with is a nutcracker. HA! Oh, and walnuts, but you don’t care about that part and neither did I. Hee. Marcel takes the truffles (which Tiffani throws at him) and she gets sweet potatoes. Sandee has prosciutto. Yum. Stephen wants the sweet potatoes, and he starts talking about some experimental dish that he wants to try. Tiffani opens up caviar instead. Josie is last, and she can basically steal whatever she wants, so she takes the truffles. Marcel ends up with fatty tuna. Wow, good deal. Canned truffles vs. toro? Now Santa gets to take off the hat and beard and I am horrified to discover it’s Eric Ripert. Oh, Eric, you are worth so much more than that. That makes me sad. I mean, he has fake eyebrows and makeup and everything. Marcel freaks out. Josie is glad to cook for him; she was jealous of the third season.

Stephen is making yam soup with lavender. Hmm. Marcel is treating the toro with integrity and making simple. Tre is thinking cheesy pasta or rice or something. Betty is doing something with leeks and a saffron-orange vinaigrette? I’m not sure. She has salmon so I guess it’s a salad. CJ is thinking walnuts and shrimp. He feels that you’d better deliver if you have something awesome like truffles. Josie gets some scallops and then goes on a hunt for a can opener. The Amazing Cameraman (on loan from “Amazing Race”) shows us a whole bin full as she interviews that she couldn’t find one. Finally she takes her chef’s knife to the can. She’s using the heel of the knife to get rid of the lid. Lots of frantic running around. Josie’s can looks chewed up. Then she forgot to put the sauce on the plate. Oops.

Sandee is up first. She’s made a salad for her prosciutto with dried cherries and a little chili, a port wine sauce, and an apricot and mustard chutney. Well, that’s what the graphic says. Apparently she’s made three separate piles, with different sauces and one is seared. No reaction. No reactions for any of the dishes, actually. CJ serves roasted walnuts with apples and shrimp. Tre has sage encrusted chicken breast and rice pilaf with cheese. The cheese isn’t the main player! That wouldn’t fly on “Iron Chef“. Betty is using the royal “we” as she talks. The leeks, apples, raisins, and arugula are underneath the salmon, with the vinaigrette over all. Josie is kind of freaking out, because she is missing two major components. The dish has a fried egg with a scallop, pine nuts, and shaved truffles on top. I know she’s missing her sauce, but I’m not sure what the other thing is. She should know by now to just pretend that’s how it should be; half the time they won’t figure it out. Apparently there aren’t that many truffles? She wants Eric to overlook a lack of truffles. I don’t know. Marcel serves toro tartar with a fried egg and prosciutto on toast with a chive puree. It looks awesome and I want to try it. Stephen has made his yam soup (yams are not sweet potatoes) with lavender, mocha and a sage chip, with olivo crostini. Tiffani has a seared scallop and a blini, both with caviar on top.

Eric hated Stephen’s, because the lavender was too strong. Hee. He seems to accept that it probably sucked. Tre’s rice was undercooked. Josie didn’t have any truffles. Marcel was one of his favorites (the toro and egg were silky), and also Betty (sweet but good) and CJ (sauce could have been too sweet but wasn’t). God Betty’s mouth is huge. CJ wins. Yay! He’s honored.

For the elimination challenge: they will each make a 3 course holiday dinner for 9 diners, served head to head. After each course 2 chefs are eliminated. After all three courses, there will be a final two, and the judges will pick the winner. Since CJ won the Quickfire, he gets a free pass for one of the first two rounds, but he can’t use it to get in to the final. Kind of like the hidden immunity idol on Survivor. They get $350 for Whole Foods, and then they’ll go to the Washburn Institute (I don’t know if that’s spelled right and I can’t find it, so sorry) and cook for 3 hours. Marcel loves this challenge. Sandee interviews that if you screw up, it’s not the fault of the money, the timing, or anything else but you. I like her.

Shopping time! There’s a Whole Foods near me. I love their deli/prepared foods section. It’s fab. CJ is going to stick to what he knows and not go all “feast of 100 fishes”. Stephen’s menu is shown to us: celery root gnocchi, veal osso bucco, and poached pear pistachio tuile. He knows the osso bucco has to start cooking right away. Josie loves the selection. Sandee goes to produce first so she doesn’t wait for the other chefs at the meat counter. Betty’s menu: duck beignets, rack of lamb, and baklava. Beignets are fried pastries like donuts, and usually they’re sweet but I think Sam made some with sweetbreads or other offal one time and they looked really good. Fried duck, though. I’m not sure about that. Then she’s talking about making baklava with white chocolate and mascarpone and raspberries. That’s not baklava. CJ’s menu: beef carpaccio, goose breast with oyster stuffing, and cardamom panna cotta. Oh, CJ. Panna cotta is the kiss of death on this show. He’s kind of nervous about the goose but happy about having quince. Tre was looking for celery root, but he discovers Stephen has bought all of it. So he goes over to peek in Stephen’s cart, and I am hoping he steals it, but he says it was too green and he would never have bought it himself. Hee.

It’s cooking time! Everyone runs around. Tiffani’s menu: bacon wrapped apple, duck breast spaetzle, butterscotch pudding. It’s really homey but the holidays are homey. CJ knows his immunity won’t help because he wants to win on his own merit. Josie says that 3 hours would normally be enough time if they weren’t competing. Her menu: duck duo (stupid duos), turkey and gravy, oysters Rockefeller. Interesting, no dessert. She warns against over thinking. Betty looks for her yeast and starts to break down. She can’t find it, and it’s for the beignets, which is the first course. Oops. Tre is like, sucks for you, don’t tell everyone your weaknesses. Betty freaks out for a while and then decides to make duck baklava instead. Like, roll the duck and cherry mixture in the phyllo dough. I’m not sure what she’ll do for her third course, but whatever. She thinks it might be better, but again: not baklava. Tre’s menu: seared scallops, veal loin with mac & cheese, and lamb chops. He knows pastries can kill him so he’s not doing it again. Sandee’s menu: mushroom soup, fried turkey breast, and chocolate pecan pie. I want chocolate pecan pie. However, she’s only made pie crust once before. That’s not a good sign. Marcel’s menu: roasted monkfish, dumplings (that’s all it says…dumplings), and lamb chops. It’s always tricky to serve the same thing as another contestant, especially when you’re serving head to head. He’s multitasking and planning out his timing.

After some commercials, Marcel is working quickly but he’s not freaking out yet. He says if you’re not rushing, either your menu is too simple or you aren’t trying. Tom comes by to investigate. Woo Tom! He greets everyone, since he hasn’t seen them yet. And then they get right down to it. He’s doing a good job of not giving advice. We don’t learn a lot from these segments. Tom is kind of chatty, and it’s nice to see but everyone is just talking about their menus which we‘ve already seen. Although we do learn that Stephen has not picked out any wines. Horrors! Marcel wants to redeem himself from the turkey roulade, but as I recall that was the best dish that episode. Even Tony Bourdain liked it and he’s a jerk so you know it must be true if he gives out praise. Tom is wishing everyone happy holidays which is so contrived. Blah. Tom leaves them with an hour to work. He’s thrilled to see everyone, and talks about them behind their backs. Betty has no idea what she’s going to do for her third course if she gets that far, so I guess they have time in between courses to do stuff. He wishes Stephen would spend more time in the kitchen and he thinks Josie will bring the ethnic food.

Sandee worries she’s spent too much time on her pie. Everyone frantically plates. They all get to go out to the table, and everyone has big serving platters instead of individual plates. I like that, it’s more like a family dinner. The panel is made up of people who’ve judged previous episodes: Elizabeth Falkner, Eric Ripert, Alan Wong, Alfred Portale, Norman Van Aken, and then Padma, Gail, Ted, and Tom. The contestants look like deer in headlights. Marcel’s monkfish has prosciutto peppernata and parsley puree. I think peppernata is a relish. Tiffani’s bacon wrapped apples (yum) have brussel sprouts too. Josie has her duo of duck, but apparently the duo is that she has both breast and leg meat. There’s sour cherry and fig chutney with both. Stephen’s gnocchi have parmesan cheese. CJ has endive with beets and horseradish cream to go with the carpaccio. Tre serves scallops with Swiss chard and butternut squash puree with pomegranate brown butter. Sandee has mushroom soup (it does not have a very good color) with Chinese soup spoons that have mushroom puree, bacon, hazelnut, and egg, I guess to add in. Betty serves her duck rolled in phyllo dough (it’s not baklava and I’m not calling it that). It looks like an egg roll gone wrong. There’s mushrooms and a port onion reduction. Padma gives them 30 minutes to work and sends them away. Stephen says you could walk out with plates in hand and they could send you back out.

Everyone serves themselves. Sandee’s soup is watery and not creamy. The monkfish is rustic and excellent. Ted calls Betty on the “baklava” label. Gnocchi does not make a good appetizer, plus the gnocchi themselves suck. Ted drops one from the serving spoon in the dish, and there’s this loud crash like he dropped a rock. They can’t be that heavy. Back in the kitchen Marcel’s dumplings are described in more detail: they are chicken liver and truffle turkey dumplings. CJ had good colors on his dish but his beef feels like an afterthought. Ted likes Tre’s scallops the best. Gail doesn’t understand Tiffani’s dish and feels more like a garnish but everyone else likes it. Tom liked Josie’s duck flavors. Back in the kitchen Josie is discovering that leaving the turkey for her second course in the oven during serving may cost her. It looks all dried out. She hopes that someone will also overcook their food. Right on cue Betty tells us she left her lamb in the oven too long. Padma feels that Stephen, Sandee, Betty, and CJ are the worst. But CJ has immunity, so he’s OK.

Everyone comes out with their second course in hand. They aren’t allowed to put their plates down yet, because Tom has to tell Sandee and Stephen their dishes suck and they can leave. Sandee’s upset to not serve her dish in her hands. Stephen talks about starting a restaurant so he’s not in the kitchen, and being a restauranteur, or something. He’s drinking a beer, I think, so it‘s serious. Marcel serves his dumplings with a savory bread pudding and Tuscan style torta. Tiffani has the spaetzle and duck, with wine and orange jus. Betty’s rack of lamb is pistachio encrusted, wrapped in prosciutto, and served over lentils and tomatoes. Sorry, “sugar plum” tomatoes. Sigh. You know I wanted to go to TGIFriday’s and have her soup and sandwich dish that they put on the menu, but then I started to not like her so I never went. But I forgot how she liked to name stuff. Josie has bacon wrapped turkey breast and pumpkin gravy. Tre serves his bacon wrapped rack of veal with French beans and mac & cheese. CJ has fall spiced goose breast and the oyster stuffing has quince. There are two sauces, mushroom gravy and pomegranate jalapeno. Oo.

Tre wants to make food people want to make themselves. Judges exclaim over this course. They know Josie’s turkey is overcooked. Marcel also gets slammed because the liver dumpling thing sucks. CJ’s goose is great, Tre’s dish is good, Tiffani is excellent. Betty’s lamb was overcooked and underseasoned. Ted says that Josie was better than Betty and Marcel. CJ dances in the kitchen. What? He does! Then he says he’s “confidently worried.” Hee. Betty makes a giant almond cookie for her dessert. Marcel is cooking his lamb unevenly on purpose.

Tom sends Betty and Josie back to the kitchen. Oh well. Marcel has lamb chops with butternut squash puree, parsnip chips, maple syrup and pomegranate gastrique. Tre’s lamb chops are crusted in horseradish and mustard, with parsnip puree. That’s a tough call, based on description. Tiffani has salted butterscotch pudding with caramel and orange and clove whipped cream. She kind of freaks out about the caliber of judges. CJ’s panna cotta has roasted squash with poached figs and gingersnap crumble, with a red wine and balsamic reduction. They look like giant marshmallows. Tre’s lamb is much better than Marcel’s. They don’t like his uneven cooking thing. The pudding is distracting, it’s so good. CJ’s looks sloppy but the squash is really good and they like it. Everyone comes back out one more time so Tom can get rid of Marcel and CJ. Aww! CJ needed that money and he knows his dish could have been better so he’s sad. (Kmanpat: “He can live with me! We’ll…work something out.“) Marcel doesn’t seem to care that much.

So it’s Tre vs. Tiffani. I like Tiffani a lot more now than during her season, and Tre was always really good, so this is pretty awesome. Padma tells them it’s so hard to decide between the two of them that they’ve got a surprise: one more course. They both look pissed. Tiffani thinks she should have seen it coming. They can use anything they want, including any leftovers. So that means if they like someone else’s dish, one that never got served, they can totally steal it. Interesting. They have 30 minutes. They both kind of stand there until Padma yells at them to get going already.

Tiffani immediately grabs Sandee, Josie, and Stephen. CJ doesn’t even know what she’s saying and he mocks her fast talking. She practically rips stuff out of Tre’s hands and claims it for herself. Stephen very leisurely grabs his dish that he plated but never served and wanders over there. Eventually everyone figures out what is going on. Tre tries to get Stephen to help him but he’s all, I have to help Tiffani. Tre wanted his osso bucco. Tre wants to do a dessert with all of Betty’s stuff that she made. Raspberry and walnut crepes, yum. Tiffani wanted to do a leftover turkey sandwich, kind of as an F YOU to the judges, but then she decides on some puff pastry with the osso bucco on top. Betty enjoys working with Tre and she likes his dish. Josie wants Tiffani to win for all the girls.

Tom jokes that they were expecting open faced turkey sandwiches and to her credit Tiffani doesn’t smack him but only says she came this close to doing exactly that. Tiffani says she already made a dessert, so the only option is to take them into the next day: braised veal on puff pastry with truffle butter. Tre says he was “forced” to do to a dessert: raspberry and walnut crepes with balsamic reduction and white chocolate mascarpone. Tiffani’s dish was juicy, even though the puff pastry wasn’t cooked quite enough. Tre’s crepes were festive looking and good. Of course there seems to be some dissent about whose dish is better. Padma then says that she, Ted, Gail, and Tom will make the final decision. So they can get lost. That’s…rude.

Now we have a judges’ table and I am so done with this episode already. They’ve relocated to the set because everyone is in the Stew Room instead of the kitchen. Both Tre and Tiffani get praised but the judges say nothing important and that was two minutes of my life I won’t get back. Everyone gets to come back in to watch the ending. And the judges give the money to Tiffani. Cool. I mean, I really like Tre, but I’m OK with this. She is glad to win for all the female chefs. Tre wins cookbooks signed by the guest judges. Eh. He’s OK with losing to Tiffani, and he got to show his fans he had a good day and he’s talented. Everyone gets hugs! Happy holidays! Come back next year for Season 4!

Clicky clicky

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Project Runway 12/5/07--"Trendsetter" summary

Previously on Project Runway: the contestants have to design an outfit for Tiki Barber to wear on the Today show, even though almost none of them have designed for men before, or know who Tiki Barber even is in the first place. Since it’s a menswear challenge, guess what that means? Male models! Somehow everyone managed to work through the distractions and make some clothes, sort of. Except Kevin, he wasn’t distracted. There were a lot of disasters, but Jack managed to win with some pants and a striped shirt. Kit made a fleece blazer that was pretty cool. Ricky thought he could pin all his hems without the judges noticing (duh), but in the end Carmen went home since she didn’t even have enough time to make a shirt. In other news, Jack is dating Dale from Top Chef. Really! Look, I found a story about it. SO CUTE! I want to hang out with them. (click for more)

In the morning, Kit is reassuring Sweet P that her outfit didn’t suck, and Carmen’s would have. Rami and Chris brainstorm the fragrance for Project Runway perfume: tears, sweat, and Chinese food. Hee. I like Chris. Rami too.

It is so odd to see Heidi skinny. I’ve gotten too used to seeing her pregnant. She only brings out the winning and losing designers’ models: Carmen’s model, Marion’s model, and Jack’s model. Jack wants to swap, and he takes Ricky’s model. There is no motherf*cking walkoff, for which I am sad. Ricky gets Jack’s old model, so the other two girls are out. Ricky does not cry, although he does make a comment about Jack‘s “true colors“. (Kmanpat: “Which are hot, and competitive. And hot.“) Heidi says there are “old friends” and some girl in the workroom with Tim. Sweet P calls senior citizens. That would rock.

Nina is there waiting for them. There are 12 photos of hideous fashion trends. Like, neon. All these trends are out. The best part is that Jillian is wearing overalls, which is one of the looks. Ha! I mean, hers are well fitted, which usually isn’t the case, but ha anyway. Tim draws buttons so they can pick their looks. Jack picks pleather and calls it “Britney Spears on crack”. Victorya: underwear as outerwear; Christian: zoot suit; Rami: poodle skirt; Kit: fringe; Elisa: cut outs; Jillian: overalls (hee); Ricky: neon; Kevin: 70’s flare; Chris: shoulder pads; Steven: dancewear. Sweet P thinks her button is stuck to the bottom of the bag. She ends up with baggy sweater. Now comes the extra twist. They have to work in teams of 3, and they have to incorporate all 3 trends in their 3 piece collection. Christian is going to die. Good. And it has to be cohesive and relevant for today, of course. Tim says they can pick their own teams, in the next minute. I guess pick people whose fads will work with yours? There’s a lot of discussion about strategy, and how the teams ended up the way they did, but it’s not very interesting. They have $225 and 2 days, an hour to sketch. Nice. Plus each team needs a leader. That means “scapegoat”.

Sweet P, Steven, and Chris decide that Chris is in charge. Or…Steven and Sweet P kind of go, “Not it!“ and Chris is left in charge. Steven suggests they each draw an outfit with their trend, and they’ll try to make them cohesive some other way, but each trend will only be found in one outfit. Jillian is in charge of Rami and Kevin. This team is going to have all 3 trends in each outfit. Ricky tells Victorya she’s the mediator, he’s the leader. Elisa is just along for the ride. Make sure you note that she refused the leadership position. Very soon after this decision Victorya is explaining how they’re going to design things. Ricky interviews that Victorya seems bossy so it’s good he’s the leader, so they don’t get micromanaged. Christian is the leader of himself, Kit, and Jack. He thinks that each outfit kind of needs to have each trend in it for the collection to be cohesive.

Shopping lets us know that Christian has labeled his team “team star” because they are hot and celebrities. Also he says “fierce” again. He needs to quit saying that. (Kmanpat: “Seriously. Not fierce.“) Ricky decides on duchess satin. Steven runs around.

Back in the workroom, Kit and Christian giggle about fringe looking like armpit hair. Sweet P has a sack dress, a sweater dress for Steven, and Chris is making a short jacket and a long dress. He mentions that people have pigeonholed him, what with the giant wigs and all, but he is still a good designer. Uh oh, bad foreshadowing. He shows Steven the shoulders of his jacket. Steven‘s response is “sweet merciful crap.” Hee. Ricky says he’s trying to speak to Elisa in a way she can understand. That’s so condescending. He basically says it’s like she’s high and that’s how he talked to her so she would understand what he wanted. He‘s really an ass about it. Christian tries on his jacket and it has giant kimono sleeves and it’s hilarious. Jillian says she and Rami worked together well in the previous team challenge but she’s not sure of Kevin. She starts telling him what to do and that he’s doing it wrong or whatever, but he seems pretty calm about it. Jillian basically says if they fail, it’s Kevin’s fault because he’s not fast enough.

Day 2. Sadly I do not see Jack carrying Christian into the workroom. (Kmanpat: “That‘s not sad. All is as it should be.”). Kit reminds us of the challenge, but really I am noticing her gun pendant. Suddenly I hear a Tim Gunn impression. Is it Santino visiting? No, it’s Steven. “Designers, you’re screwed, there’s nothing you can do to fix what you’re working on, carry on!” Hee!! It wasn’t as good as Santino, in that I can tell it’s not Tim, but he has the tone of voice down. Victorya claims not to be a “bossy cow” but rather she has ideas. I guess she just has to express them. She starts telling Ricky how to fix his garment, cleaning it up or whatever. It certainly sounds like she’s the leader, since she’s saying “personally, I would like it clean” and not “I think it would look better if you cleaned it up.” Ricky thinks she needs to do her own stuff.

Tim comes for a visit, and says that they’re sending in the models right now, and they’ll have 30 minutes to fit. Nice. Chris’s team thinks it looks like a collection, but Sweet P hates Steven’s. The color, possibly, which is a very boring beige, except they are all boring beige. Jillian tells Kevin all the pleating on his shorts is gone because they used Jillian to measure and the model is bigger. Kevin says he did what he was told and they can’t redo it. Victorya hates her design, it looks like a jester. Sorry, “a harlequin at Festivá l”. So she’s going to totally redo it. Ricky is pissed she didn‘t ask him. He doesn’t like the criss cross straps on the bodice because there are “too many lines“. She pretty much ignores him and says she likes the straps. Meanwhile Jillian is standing around passively complaining about Kevin, but not actually talking to Kevin. She thinks he might not get done. Rami knows when you are in charge you have to push people so things don’t get ruined.

Tim comes by again to investigate. He likes Christian’s group. But then Chris’s group doesn’t have cohesion, and Chris’s jacket doesn’t go. Also the dress looks more modern without the jacket. He’s come by 2 hours before the end of the day so I‘m not sure what they can do about it. He tells Jillian’s team that all the clothes look like Jillian’s clothes. Ricky’s team isn’t finished or refined. Victorya starts talking about tweaking silhouettes, plural. She’s basically taking over and claiming all the designs as her own. Tim is confused but he does establish that Ricky is supposed to be the leader. When she pauses, Ricky tries to defend himself, and she uses the phrase “Can I finish?” which is never a good sign. After Tim leaves, Ricky tells her he didn’t like how she didn’t tell him what she was doing when she decided to change her design. Victorya says that there were things that were clearly wrong, but Ricky interrupts her to point out that they were wrong to her. He feels she should just shut up and go with it, but she won’t send clothes down the runway that she doesn’t like, and also why did he want to be leader anyway? Way to change the subject. He tells her if she thinks she’s been leader this whole time then she can just go ahead and be leader then. She’s all, no, I like that someone else stepped up, but I wanted you to do your job. You can’t make other people take the job and then bitch that they suck. Especially since he only stepped up because you refused to do it. Ricky interviews that probably she wanted to be team leader and then didn’t have the balls. The argument ends when Victorya basically tells Ricky they need to get back to work but “we will continue this discussion.“

Rami tells Kevin to get stuff done. At midnight, when the day’s pretty much over, Jillian bitches to Rami that Kevin’s too slow, the shorts should be done. Rami, as he’s telling us she worried about her own garment too much and that‘s why there‘s a problem now, tells Jillian she didn’t seem that concerned because she didn’t do anything about it. She doesn’t want to breathe down someone’s throat. Rami is just like, we don’t agree and that’s OK and then the fight’s over. See how nice that was? Victorya lets Ricky know she‘s disappointed because he wouldn‘t make decisions about anything. What decisions? By her own admission she made changes without asking him. And he had decisions and she ignored them. Ricky fires back that she was so concerned with his look that she had to do her own twice. Ricky thinks this is a disaster, the collection isn’t cohesive, and they’re screwed. Victorya says she stands by her garment, and when Ricky insists that he also stands by his garment, she just snaps “OK” and walks away.

The morning of the runway show, Jillian is still freaking out about Kevin. The boys joke about going to Denny’s. Their apartment seems like so much fun. Ricky is done, and Elisa is mostly done, but Victorya is still working. Ricky pretends that he is insulted she didn’t ask him for help. I thought he was pissed because he is supposed to be in charge and she did things without him, but he‘s making it sound like she should have known her design was terrible and asked him to give her some advice. Kevin needs a magic rabbit. Models come in. Kevin pounds buttons with a shoe. Chris’s jacket isn’t that great, according to Steven. Ricky says Victorya’s bodice is just wrong and he starts to fix it. He complains that it makes the model look flat chested, but Victorya wants it to look flat because she’s seen it before and she‘s used to seeing it on the runway. Ricky takes offense since he’s a lingerie designer and somehow her personal opinion of how she wants her dress to look is an insult to him. I mean, I don’t think the model should look flat chested, but I don’t think she’s doing it just to piss him off. She says that once she let it sit it looked good. Kevin finally finishes the shorts. Jillian tells him she’s impressed but in the same monotone she spoke in when she was complaining about him. She feels bad about doubting him, I think. The lack of emotion throws me. Christian slams Ricky’s and Chris’s collections and they all suck but at least he admits the judges might like them.

Our guest judge today is Donna Karan. Sweet. Jillian: overalls with flared bottoms, and pleats at the hips. Not something that many people can wear, but that’s not the challenge, so whatever. The top is a sheer sleeveless top with a floppy bow, so I guess that’s the poodle skirt? Kevin’s shorts look OK, they are cut wide, and there’s a halter top with a poofy neck that reminds me of Daniel V.’s orchid outfit. Rami’s dress has a big full tiered skirt with a close-fitting top, in denim. It’s cute, very Jillian. Chris’s team is up next. I don’t mind Chris’s shrug that much, but that might be because I tend to not like shrugs and bolero jackets in general. It’s boxy. The dress is cute though. Sweet P: knee length sweater dress with a bubble hem and a turtleneck dicky. She calls it “rad“. Steven has a wrap top and leggings. It’s sort of a very short kimono robe. I don’t know. How is that dance? Christian: pinstriped pencil skirt, blazer, high-necked top. I can see the zoot suit, obviously, but I don’t really see any fringe or pleather. Kit’s dress is cut very loose, with a square neckline (and I think some very short upholstery fringe) and it’s in a gray pinstripe, and there are leggings. Still no pleather unless they were claiming the accessories were pleather. Jack’s outfit is another pencil skirt with a tight vest and top with cap sleeves, and a very long tie or skinny scarf. WHERE IS THE PLEATHER? Ricky’s got bright gold and red with a sheer top like an ice skater would have. Very 80’s but I wouldn‘t really call it “neon“. Elisa’s dress is great, it’s one shoulder, black with geometric shapes along the neckline. I think the shapes are supposed to be cut outs, showing the color beneath. It’s too bad her model can’t walk, though. Not because of Elisa’s outfit this time, either. Victorya has a tight bodice top that might look like a corset if you were to squint, and a short flowy skirt. I’m not sure what in their collection was supposed to be “underwear as outerwear”.

Today there is a clear winner, so they’re just going to announce it now, and that is Jillian. She and her team get to leave. Christian looks sad, but his team didn’t suck, so he can leave too. Heidi addresses Ricky and Chris directly and says their teams suck and one of them will be out. Oo team leader dies. DK doesn’t like Chris’s design, it’s not cohesive. She busts out “liquidity” to tell Steven his dress doesn’t have it and it doesn’t look like dance. It doesn’t, really. They like Sweet P’s dress, although it should have been exaggerated. They don’t find any modern take on shoulder pads in Chris’s dress. It’s not relevant for today, except that shoulder pads aren’t relevant for today, so WTF? DK says the “totality” of the garment is lacking. This judging makes no sense. They want Sweet P to exaggerate her trend, but Chris’s shoulder pads are “awkward” and not relevant. Nina likes the concept of Ricky’s team, but not the construction. Elisa gets high praise, and Victorya gets praise for the fit, which she quickly gives to Ricky. Nina reminds him that he’s had construction problems in the past, and his dress looks the worst. He claims that micromanaging his team made him behind. So…not so much with the avoiding micromanagement, then. Elisa tries to defend him by saying he helped her out a lot. Kors says he killed his team with his choice of fabric because it’s so impossible. They ask Victorya about Ricky’s leadership, and she claims to have had a “heavy hand” in the first two looks and says she claimed responsibility. Heidi is like, I asked about Ricky, not you. Kors knows she‘s trying to say she took over, and Victorya says she can‘t help but to say what she thinks, but she also expects a “counterweight“. I think she‘s saying that Ricky should have told her to shut up and do what he told her. It sounds like she wants to voice all her opinions, but also that Ricky should have stood up to her? Ricky knows she has no respect for him. Kors says this weird relationship shows in their clothes. Now is the time to ask who should go and start throwing people under the bus. Victorya and Ricky throw each other under the bus, and Elisa says she always says herself when asked who should go. Steven says Chris, and Chris says Chris, but then Sweet P says that Steven’s outfit stands out the most so he should go.

Judge bashing. Ricky’s design wasn’t great, plus it was so unfinished. Victorya gets in trouble for trying to claim to be the leader. At least I think so. Chris’s team didn’t have a collection, and it wasn’t relevant either. Steven’s actually was the least like the other two but Chris’s jacket was horrid. Kors says the jacket was “mother of the bride” but I think that like insane crotches that’s something he tries to say once a season. They’ve made it seem like Ricky might go, but he didn’t get any interview time to talk about how fashion is his life so I know he’s safe.

Sweet P, Elisa, Steven (phew!), and Victorya are in. So it really is down to Ricky and Chris. I don’t like this at all. Both of them had the worst looks on their teams. Ricky is in. Dammit. I love Chris, he’s so fun! He stands by his look, but he’s just going to go back to his life and he hopes he brought fun. Bye, Chris! If you ever want to come over and hang out we can make fun of people and giggle.

Next week: Jack is sobbing and upset and oh no I remember what this is. Now I am sad too. I have absolutely no idea about the challenge, though.

Clicky clicky

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

I gasped so hard I gave myself a coughing fit

I mean, seriously! There was a montage! No one dies when they're doing a voiceover for a montage! Clicky clicky

Sunday, December 2, 2007

I don't know what Carter Oosterhouse has to do with cars, but I don't really care

You guys. Carter Oosterhouse. Delicious eye candy. Good with his hands. He has nothing to do with making go carts. I don't think anyone cares.

I mean, first Santino, and now Carter? These guest stars are awesome. I also love how Andre, Brett, and Rachel have an "alliance" to get rid of VJ and Andrea, but they are incompetent so it never works. Except that then they had that weird twist of the voting. How is this relevant? I mean, it's not based on skills or anything. If anything, the person getting nominated is likely to be the best person in the house.

Also, do car show models have to talk? I thought they just stood there and looked pretty. And THEN Brett came back in all mad and started bitching about the spinning show floor! Don't warn VJ about the floor! Although, he was the only one smart enough to step off the turntable. I can see why they want to get rid of him. Even if he hadn't called his friend to cheat and get information, he still reacted well to the surprise.

It's so weird, at the beginning I couldn't STAND Andre, but now I find myself rooting for him. His Communist ways are growing on me. Clicky clicky

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Project Runway 11/28/07--"Fashion Giant" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Sarah Jessica Parker showed up and made teams come up with cheap clothes for her new line, and Victorya won. Marion went home, because his dress looked like a bad Army blanket. And I was sad to miss a team challenge, because they’re easier to recap. Surprisingly, it was mostly a drama-free team challenge, which is unusual. Completely unrelated, I’d like to state for the record that RuPaul would make the best guest judge ever.(click for more) Our daily shot of Jack in underwear. This prefaces his announcement that he’s HIV positive. Someone (I think Chris) says they should have gotten rid of Christian because no one would have cried. Chris laughs hysterically while Christian insists they‘d be bored if he left. Christian is still convinced he’s the bestest designer there.

Heidi shows up and she tells them they don’t need models for their challenge. Eh? She sends them to 10 Rockefeller Plaza to meet Tim. When they get there (and after I am distracted by Jack’s gorgeous upper body in a tank top) they meet up with Tiki Barber. A surprising number of them recognize him. Well, he’s on the Today Show now, so I guess it could be from that. Ricky comes through for me by saying he doesn’t know who this guy is but he’s hot. All Steven knows about football is that it’s the one time when spandex is acceptable. Tiki wants the designers to make an outfit for him to wear on the Today Show. Woo!! Most people freak out. Not only do they have no experience with menswear, he’s not built like the average man. He likes dark colors with texture but is not afraid of bright colors, he likes details, and it doesn’t have to be a suit. I love it.

Why is Jack carrying people? I think that’s Christian. Jack just carried him into the workroom for some reason. Back at Parsons Tim gives them a day and a half, $150, and 30 minutes to sketch. Jack asks if he can use items of clothing he’s wearing as a base. Tim says that’s cool. That sucks for girls. Sweet P has never done men’s clothing and she doesn’t even know where to start. Seriously, like, they’re almost all just sitting there. Kevin is busy working and seems to have borrowed Ricky’s hat for his interview. Some of the men are getting measured but none of them are built like Tiki so I don’t know what that’s about. Shopping at Mood is only entertaining because Chris asks Tim if Tiki likes hot pants. Kit insists that she is a stylist for television so she knows what looks good.

Ricky has to show them he can make a suit. Sweet P is also doing a suit, even though she has no idea about any of it. Christian says he’s a fast sewer. Carmen asks Jack about the width of the waistband, and she’s asking a million questions and he’s really helpful. I continue to be distracted by Jack’s bare arms. Suddenly he is wearing a muslin skirt and someone has drawn cherries on his ass. (my friend Kmanpat: “…Lucky.“) Victorya and Carmen steal his shorts to trace them also. Rami doesn’t think it’s fair. Rami could have used his pants too. Sweet P for some reason thinks they might not be able to share patterns, or something. I would say that’s probably a valid question, since this usually doesn’t happen. Jack is unconcerned. Kit says the claws are out. Sweet P knocks her mannequin over (I think they have male forms).

Tim appears to call time at midnight, just as people are figuring out they have a ton of work to do. Steven says he’s wearing a pimp hat, but I think it’s Jillian’s hat. “It’s midnight, and I’m standing here in a pimp’s hat. Just like home.” Hee.

In the morning someone tells their roommates this will be the last time they’ll have fun today. Once in Parsons they buckle down and start working. Ricky rips something, and flips off the fabric while cursing. (Me: “Sadly, I have done that.”) Christian starts bragging about his speed, which makes me think he’s in for a fall. Chris reminds us he’s older than everyone else, and also pants are two big sleeves sewn together. Rami drapes his pants, which look fab, but then he ruins it by being all, “And they’re not traced off of a pattern, like some other pants. I’m not accusing anyone! I’m just saying! I know that some did!“ shut up Rami. Tim brings their models. He prefaces this by saying he has a “very nice announcement”. OH YEAH. I know that male models are not built like Tiki Barber. Work with me. I am distracted. Chris helps me out by letting us know that “everyone was looking all over the place at all these…(big pause and deep breath) disrobing men.” Bravo knows their audience because there are never so many gratuitous shots of the female models. Kevin appears to be the only straight guy so he’s not impressed. Steven finally gets when his straight friends are jealous of his hanging around with hot girls. Elisa won’t look at her model undressing so she misses out on the fun. She says that her boyfriend is the only one she’s “fitted on intimately”, whatever that means, and she “he’s the only male I choose to touch.“ (Kmanpat: “I’ll touch her model! Pick me pick me!“) Ricky has to drape the muslin on his model, he‘s so far behind, and Sweet P has to start over. Jillian has to redo everything too.

Tim’s second visit and the room seems deadly silent. He asks them to gather round, and he has a special guest. In walks an Asian woman, who is Ginny Barber, Tiki’s wife. She’s going to critique their work. Oo, extra pressure. She looks fab. Christian likes Asians because “Asians are fierce.“ I would argue that a lot of Asians are introverted, judging from, you know, normal Asians like my family and not, say, Kimora Lee. But I like to be fierce so I’ll let it slide for now. Jack has a vest/shirt/pants combo which sounds good. Ricky has a 3 piece suit. Apparently Tiki likes layering. Ricky feels in danger from all the work he still has to do. Kevin is making a pocket square! Clinton Kelly would be so proud. And a double vent in the jacket, to account for his bubble butt. Ginny says that Carmen’s jacket is too casual and is too Member’s Only. That’s those 80’s jackets with the band collar, for those of you not old enough to picture that. But she doesn’t have enough fabric, or time, to fix it.

Kevin is making a vest, not enough time for a jacket. Frantic working. Ricky is totally lost. Carmen sings and Ricky tells her to shut up, and she says she’s two minutes away from snapping, then he tells her to snap if she wants to, so she calls him a bitch and says she can‘t snap because he told her to shut up, and it kind of seems like something like happen but nothing does. Everyone is pissed and stressed and panicking. You can tell when they go home, they look exhausted.

Christian gets Jack to give him a piggyback ride into the workroom. (Kmanpat: “SO not worthy.“) Ricky is going balls-out “because if you go for it and fall on your ass, fall as hard as you can.” Jack is scrapping the vest due to time. They seem to have 3.5 hours in the morning. Weird. That is so much time. Carmen doesn’t even know if she has time for the shirt. Tim comes in to confirm they actually only have 2 hours. As the models come in much working commences. Kit’s model pretends like she stuck him with the needle. Hee. Ricky puts his model to work putting buttons on the shirt. Sweet P’s shirt is too small but the neck is huge. It doesn’t even have a collar, but Chris says there’s way worse stuff going down. Actually, looking at it again, when she’s talking about it, it doesn’t even have buttons. Mm, delicious boys. Ricky is using pins to hem things. Sweet P has a mental breakdown and tries to style something to hide the neckline. Carmen is seriously out of time. She drapes the shirt fabric around his chest under the jacket because that’s as much time as she had to make the shirt.

Tiki is back to guest judge. Jillian: 3 piece black suit with a black and white print shirt that looks hot and well made. Carmen: looks like crap, there’s no shirt and the jacket is lame. It’s only fastened at the waist so it looks really dated, and the model has a stupid hat on. Christian: the jacket has weirdly shaped lapels but the shirt is good. It’s got an asymmetrical neckline that is interesting. Kit: blazer and shirt, it looks OK if boring. Rami: now that jacket is Member’s Only. He thinks it looks youthful. Sweet P: the neck is huge, the rest of the shirt isn’t that great, the sleeves are way too short, and the pants make his hips look huge. Steven: looks hot, pants and a thin sweater. I realize I haven’t been listing colors, because they’ve all been in the khaki/navy/light blue palette. Not very exciting. Victorya: awesome pants, white jacket with a black collar but he looks like a chef. Kevin: pants vest shirt, tie, very sweet, like Nick’s outfit from season 2. It‘s got that same dark suit/colored shirt combo, only in purple and not pink. Chris: all dark, the jacket has no collar and a zipper. Jack: pants and a shirt, but it looks really well made, in a pink pinstripe pants and a pink striped top. Ricky: the suit ended up looking pretty good, but you can see the pins. You can see them sparkling. Elisa: crewneck shirt and vest and pants. It looks fine.

Jillian, Christian, Rami, Steven, Victorya, Chris, and Elisa are safe. Tiki tells Kit he likes her look; it’s conservative but has interest. It’s a fleece blazer, which looks cool. Kors says the fleece makes it not suck. Sweet P’s is messy but it has style. Heidi snipes that she let her model walk down there all messed up. Kors says at least her tie doesn’t suck, for all that it should be on someone who‘s 7‘3“. Kors loves Jack’s, and so does Tiki. Jack and his model look disturbingly similar. They could be brothers or cousins. Nina complains that he only has two pieces, but Heidi points out that two boring safe pieces are better than a bunch of crap. Nina calls out Ricky on the pins. Tiki would look like a fool, he says. Nina doesn’t even like the colors, calling them dull and boring. Tiki likes Kevin’s pocket square. Kors asks him to take off the pin holding the vest together, and then says they would never have known he couldn‘t put the button in. Heidi is bitchy for no reason, saying she wouldn‘t want Seal walking around like that. Kevin argues that Seal would look awesome, and I would tend to agree. Heidi just says it‘s more David Beckham than Tiki Barber. Woman, he just said he likes it. Were you not listening? Tiki says he’d wear it with a different shirt, which kind of defeats the purpose, but I think he should win this argument, so point for him. Carmen’s jacket is too short; he says everyone will only look at his ass. (Kmanpat and I: “Yes, and?“) Heidi laughs and Kors teases her for thinking the same thing we are. They make Carmen remove the blue fabric so her model is half naked. Kors says the crotch is insane. He has to once a season. I think it’s in his contract. He thinks this is a time management problem.

Time to talk about people while they‘re not around. Good: Kevin, who had a defined look. Jack, who didn’t take on more than he could finish, but had interest. Kit, whose outfit was versatile and the fleece jacket was unique. Bad: Sweet P. Nina just shakes her head. Kors at first thought she did it on purpose, with the short sleeves, and what not. Carmen, her outfit sucked all around. Kors wants to see clothes, not “it could have been“. Ricky, also not finished at all. Heidi says maybe they all thought they were better than they really are. Hmm.

Kevin is in. Jack wins. He’s getting his design on the Today Show. Yay! Kit is also in. Sweet P is saved, I guess because she at least finished her shirt, for all that it was ill-fitting. Both Carmen and Ricky didn’t finish their garments. Carmen is out. Man. I thought she’d get further than that. She’s good with leaving because she doesn’t do menswear, so I guess it’s not as much of a blow. She’s glad with what she’s learned.

Next time: Tim is not alone. Ricky and Victorya have a fight, and Jillian and Rami also. I guess it’s another
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"Don't mess with the Pie Hos!"

Awesome. Also awesome: Molly Shannon pretending to have a stutter, and then taking a stupid scene that involves a very fake bird attack and hamming it up as only she can, thereby making it hilarious.

Less awesome: implying that you can get fingerprints off of a marble table using flour and fruit roll-ups. Clicky clicky

Why do you always want America to choose?

So I'm watching "Beauty and the Geek", rooting for Sam and Nicole because girl geeks rule, and all of a sudden they're like, this season America gets to choose. And my first reaction was, "Don't let America choose! America is stupid!"

Before anyone sends me nasty email, let me clarify. I like America and all, but the people who live here don't always use their intelligence. A person is smart, but people are stupid. And I've seen a lot of hate for Sam and Nicole for no other reason than that it's supposed to be girl beauties and boy geeks and therefore they shouldn't be there. I haven't seen very many solid reasons. But believe me, I'm using my 10 votes for Sam and Nicole. Although, if Dave and Jasmine win, that would be OK too.

And for anyone who still doubts my declaration, let me just say: RUPERT.

ETA: I told you: stupid America. Clicky clicky

Monday, November 26, 2007

"How are you feeling, Andre?" "I'm feeling Soviet."

That was hilarious. I still don't like Andre that much but "I'm feeling Soviet"? Classic. Also I'm changing my mind about VJ. Not that I don't like his skirting the rules and getting praised for it. But he's kind of turning into That Guy and I always root against That Guy. So when he was battling Andre on the treadmill, I wanted him to trip or something. And I wanted the "alliance" to get rid of him but they seem inept. I'm sad for Pickel. I like Pickel. :( Clicky clicky

Sunday, November 25, 2007

All "Sex in the City" ever did was make me want shoes.

So I've only gotten to watch "Project Runway" today, Sunday, because I was at home and my parents would rather watch "CSI: New York". I already knew what happened, since I read some recaps, but I think I agree with the decisions. Victorya's dress looks like her other dress she made LAST week, and if Marion had managed to pull off his sketch, it would have been so much better. I don't hate Sarah Jessica Parker, I don't think she's the great fashionista that she's made out to be, but she seems OK. I did notice that when she was telling them about selling the design with her line, she said it "might be" sold as part of her fall line. So it wasn't for certain, although someone posted photos of the winning dress at some store so I guess it panned out. My personal favorite was Ricky's, though.

Also, I imagine that Chris's reaction for not getting picked for designing is what Kayne's reaction would have been if Miss America didn't pick him. Just as entertaining. But I think Ricky holds the most potential for Andre-style emotional flailing. And I enjoy how Christian's mouth writes checks his skillz can't cash. At least he owned up to it. Clicky clicky

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Project Runway recap delay

This afternoon I'm flying home, and I'm not sure when I'll be able to watch "Project Runway" or recap it at all. I'll try to get some comments up or maybe a short recap but it might be next week before I get anything done. Clicky clicky

Noah Bennet's power is being badass.

I didn't think they would really shoot him, and then they did, and I totally bought it. I really thought they had killed him, and I yelled at the TV "That is unacceptable! No freaking way!" Mohinder actually shot someone? No more badass HRG? I guess I should have known. But I am glad they brought him back around. You know he's busting out of that place.

This episode was back to last season's quality, in that I yelled at the TV and also bit my fingernails with the tension. Clicky clicky

Monday, November 19, 2007

Why you should never drink while on TV

I am a big fan of surprise challenges. Well…OK, maybe not all surprises. When you get a challenge and then the host non-chalantly says, “Oh, by the way, you also have to do this,” sometimes that’s a little much. Make an outfit describing the person who owns this dog, under budget, under the time limit, and oh, by the way, make some clothes for the dog too. You don’t need to make clothes for the dog. On the other hand, when the contestants “get the night off” and they buy that (making me think that they’ve never watched a reality show before) and then the hosts show up to shout Surprise! Party’s over! Make new clothes out of what you’re wearing/new dishes out of leftovers/remember what happened at the party! I very much enjoy that.

So when I heard that on “America’s Most Smartest Model” they were going to have a surprise challenge I thought that would be hilarious, but it ended up being sad. It’s Daniel’s birthday and Mary Alice told them they could go out for drinks, and Rachel ended up getting pretty drunk, and a lot of them were drinking. And then there were random agents/casting directors wandering around seeing if they could act coherently and network. The models didn’t know it was a challenge until the end of the evening. I don’t like the explanation that “You always have to be on and be aware of who you’re meeting because you might let your chance for your big break slip through your fingers.” If Andrea thought that guy was hitting on her, maybe he was. If he’s trying to hard to be tricky, then that’s what he gets. If you’re not up front about why you’re talking to someone, that’s pretty unprofessional. Although, Daniel’s tantrum was pretty extreme. I felt bad that he had to work with the ostrich the next day in the photo shoot, because ostriches are uncooperative. All the animals were trouble somehow except for the horse. And Pickel’s chicken. Hilarious. I love Pickel. And I have to give reluctant points to VJ for figuring out that there wouldn’t be so many agents at the bar if something wasn’t going on. He’s obviously watched a lot of reality television, so I have to admit he may be “playing the villain”, which is what people say they’re doing so they can turn up the douchebaggery.

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Thursday, November 15, 2007

I love when my shows crossover

So I'm watching "Pushing Daisies" last night, and during the credits all of a sudden I see the name Joel McHale. I love Joel McHale. He hosts "The Soup" on E! which is what "Talk Soup" became. Ah, "Talk Soup". Greg Kinnear making fun of talk show guests and hosts and letting his crew make comments and laugh on camera. That's what taught me that sometimes mocking TV was better than just watching TV. There was one episode where he was talking about some random thing and all of a sudden he looks up and dives out of his chair. Then an entire box of plastic spoons rains down on the chair. It was hilarious. No one could match Greg Kinnear although Hal Sparks came kind of close. Now Joel mocks talk shows, reality TV, QVC, whatever they feel like.

In case you're interested, Joel played a polygamist dog breeder who died when he drank some poisoned coffee and then stabbed himself on an ornate dog brush. You heard me.

PS: I know there is a link that makes it look like there is more to this article. Some articles are long so I wanted to have a cut and not clutter up the front page, but now every article has that link even if the whole article is on the front page. It took me most of a morning to figure out how to do that because I am not a coder, and I have no idea how to fix it; it involves messing with the page template or something. Just treat it as a permalink. Sorry. Clicky clicky

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Project Runway 11/14/07--"Sew Me What You Got" summary

Well, it’s about damn time. “Project Runway” is back after a very long time away. I have to admit that I’ve lost some interest because of the break. Hopefully it’ll be fine and there will be good drama and crazy fashion.
More after the jump.

Arrival time. Rami is first; he has a studio in LA and he’s made clothes for people like Jessica Alba. He meets Chris in the apartments (not Atlas this year). Chris dresses drag queens. Like, seriously. Anyone who needs a crazy over-the-top costume that no one in their right mind would ever wear, he’s the guy. He’s made an outfit out of lettuce. Christian is very fey and name drops people as he introduces himself. He says that he’s “kind of fierce”. Yeah. It helps if you don’t sound like a 15 year old girl when you say that. He tells everyone that he sleeps on the floor at home because he‘d rather pay for clothes, and his roommates look disturbed. Carmen used to model, and she looks like it, but her hair now is crazy. It’s tall and 80’s. Jillian is wearing what looks like a figure skating outfit. She works for Ralph Lauren but now she wants to make her own stuff. She says she’s not going home. Yeah. She and Carmen plot to take over the bathroom before anyone gets there. Just then Kit shows up and kind of giggles at everything. Kevin looks like Joey Fatone; he’s designed jeans but he’s branching out and mentions straight designers are more prevalent now, I guess to justify himself. Jack is very hot. Steve works in Chicago for the Museum of Science and Industry. He draws also and his video is very self-conscious although I did giggle when he showed the naked man he had been sketching and he lamented that he lost the guy‘s phone number. He says he just missed being cast last year. Simone comes in and then Elisa, who makes marionettes. And costumes to perform with the puppets. Marion is also cute. Ricky has a leather hat. Sweet P introduces herself. I‘m sorry, but her name makes me not want to talk to her. She started her business two years ago, and now she’s broke so she has to make some money. On one arm she has a tattoo of “Sweet P” and on the other she has “Mean P“. OK, that’s entertaining. They’re in the Gotham apartments this time, and they have notes to meet Heidi and Tim at Bryant Park.

Simone introduces herself and talks about her unique vision and whatever. Then she explains why Bryant Park is important for fashion, which, we know. The designers descend on a table with champagne and start drinking without waiting for anyone. Marion designs clothes out of his flower shop. Jack makes active wear? That’s what the graphic says. He wants to work for himself. Victorya has that ageless look many Asian women have. She is an overachiever. Oh my gosh, Asian overachiever! None of my relatives would ever do well in school and be nerds! Just kidding, my uncle was 4th in his class and his sisters call him “the stupid one”. Kit says that “Kit Pistol” is her alias. I am not sure I like her clothes but they do fit the name Kit Pistol. She says “Life is too short to have on a bad outfit.“ Hee. Ricky designs lingerie. His hat is like, black mesh. It is exactly what you would see on someone dressing up in black leather to go to a gay bar. He started in New York as a dancer but now fashion is his life and he’s in tears about it. Heidi and Tim bust in on the party and demand attention. For once, Heidi is not pregnant. She also announces that there will be 3 finalists this year, so none of that “you are all so awesome we decided you can all have collections“ nonsense. Tim welcomes everyone. Then he says they raise the bar every season, so they are the strongest group ever (just like last year was the strongest ever). Once Heidi establishes that they’ve been having fun, she tells them fun time is over. Tim says this time they won’t be making clothes out of random stuff (aw!), but they will be using tents. Across the grass there are those cheap ass collapsible tents. All the designers, and me, think they have to make clothes out of tent fabric, which might be plastic for all they know. But inside, where they can’t see, are dozens of samples. They even took the time to drape white fabric so when you look in the open door, all you see is white. So it’s not just the tent fabric. $50,000 worth of fabric from Mood for them to choose from. Sweet P has taken off her shoes. Now they make them run across the grass to fight for fabric, and I wanted so badly to see Tim lean backwards like Phil does on “Amazing Race” but he doesn’t. Ricky runs “like a Mexican running to the border”. Kit says she spied some plaid, but Kevin also is running for it. Kevin wins the race. Poor Chris is the very last. Sweet P is just pulling random crap that looks good. Chris says that the stuff he wanted was left behind anyways. Elisa is staining the silk chiffon with grass stains as Tim looks on in horror. No, really. She’s got the fabric on the grass and she’s grinding it into the turf with her knees. There is one lone fabric sample left behind: some fake fur.

Everyone unloads their stuff at Parsons. Tim comes in to remind them to use the outfit to show who they are as a designer. They have until 1am, and it’s about 11:55am right now. Tim says to make it work and everyone applauds. Victorya talks about the pressure to put yourself into one outfit. Ricky admits that he didn’t need all his fabric for his baby doll dress with lingerie overtones. Simone does vintage. Rami drapes to make a feminine but edgy dress. Elisa says she’s making a mythical gown. This involves folding the fabric like a fan, and then taking scissors to it in a random fashion. Also she is using words like “avant-garde”. When she’s done cutting it looks like the edge of the fabric got caught in a thorn bush, but it’s what she wants since she wants magic flowing out of the back of the dress. She sews using herself as the dress form and Chris kind of is freaked. Christian makes fun of her “rain goddess” strangeness. You have emo bangs and a vest. Shush. Jillian says it has to be elegant and sophisticated. Kit thinks the judges might be a little confused by her clothes. Steve is classic and pared down. Carmon wants to borrow pinking shears with a different shape and she is the first one to flirt with Jack. She says he looks like a superhero, and someone (a girl) asks if she’s see his abs (it could be ass, either way). He reminds them he’s in the room but you know he likes it. Plus, how many superheroes are naked? There are mostly-naked pics of him on the internet.

Tim comes to visit. Rami’s dress is gorgeous, but Christian thinks it’s been done. Christian’s top is cute, with plaid, and Tim tells him it’s not symmetric and he’s been meticulous with it everywhere else. Heh. He pretends he did that on purpose. Simone talks about color contrast, but she has a lot of finishing to do. She’s gotten a little lost but she thinks it’ll get done. A new development: no Macy’s wall. Now it’s Bluefly.com. Elisa begins to talk about body conscious and…oh God. There’s a train, but it’s like what Santino would do: tack a bunch of random crap onto the garment for impact. Bleh. She thinks she’s done, and she’s heard Tim’s argument, but she doesn’t want to compromise. Chris is all, uh, WTF? The edges aren’t done, the train is made of 6 different fabrics and none of them go together. And I can’t find the grass stains. Elisa declares she’s done and takes a nap. Lots of frantic working. Someone says “don’t go into fear box”. Finally the day is over and everyone can go home.

Next morning. Gratuitous shot of Jack in boxer briefs! Chris and Christian giggle about how other people aren’t done. Christian’s hair doesn’t look that bad half done and not all spiked and whatever. Elisa does yoga and talks about her finishing. I bet this means she gets done. Upon further inspection, Carmen has cornrows on the sides of her head, and then the rest up like a Mohawk. But in her interview she has two short pigtails on top of her head. Tim gives them their two hours to fit models and all that stuff. The bluefly.com wall does have fabulous shoes on it. Chris is very pleased with his model, who looks kind of like Camille. Elisa is “hand measuring” her model. A lot of models are praising the clothes to the designers. Chatty this season. Simone has to stitch her model into the dress. Carmen gasps at something, but we’re not shown what. Elisa has her model do a test walk, and discovers that her model can’t walk in the dress because of the stupid train. She says she had an impulse to chop it all off but she didn’t. Christian is catty about how other people suck. I have the feeling I might need a macro for that.

Aa! Heidi’s been tanning with Kors! She’s all orange! The winner this season can sell their line on Bluefly.com. Nice. Kors and Nina are here, and the guest judge is Monique Lhuillier. Notice that Heidi says the highest score will win but not that the lowest score will be out. Elisa’s dress is great from the top about to her knee. It’s turquoise and has flutter sleeves and it’s fitted. Once you get to the knee there’s that ridiculous train in the back. The poor model has to hold the train up so she can walk and she still trips on it anyways. Chris has gorgeous eggplant satin and the train attached to a bracelet. The bodice is a dark olive green and a print, and it twists into a halter top. Kevin has a short skirt with black pinstripes, a red stripe along the hem, and then this weird silver tin foil bodice. Sweet P has made a poofy dress. It‘s not a bubble skirt, but it flares out from an empire waist and then the hem is about the same width as a pencil skirt, so it emphasizes the hips. It‘s also in an odd khaki eyelet fabric with red underneath. Simone’s bodice is not fitted well and it’s very simple. It looks like there’s also a jacket that’s just a rectangle with armholes and a tie. Jillian’s dress is an orange halter and bobble skirt. Color is great; it looks exactly like something she would wear. Christian’s jacket has puffy 80s sleeves and the skirt is sort of a bubble hem but it‘s longer in front and flatter. Victorya has a simple black dress, very loose, with a big silver flower. It’s got regular straps but then some horizontal straps, like her bra straps slipped down. Rami’s gray gown is draped goddess style and it’s beautiful. Ricky presents a very simple dress with shiny stripes. I can see someone like Paris wearing it. Jack has a black and white print, a halter top, with a turquoise sash. It‘s really cute. Marion has a sheer top that looks like lingerie, and an asymmetrical hem in a much heavier fabric that looks almost like vinyl tablecloth material. Steven has a black suit but it’s cut very well. In the back of the jacket it looks like there are ruffles lined with another fabric. Carmen has black wide-legged pants and a shiny gold jacket, with a melon ruffled blouse. The blouse looks like it‘s got a tie or a huge flower thing up at the neckline. Kit has a black print with a red bodice. One shoulder of the bodice has a ruffle sleeve on it, but the other side is cut underneath the model’s breast. So the overall effect is that the model’s boob is hanging out. Perhaps that is what Kit Pistol stands for.

Heidi has Chris, Kevin, Sweet P, Jillian, Jack, Marion, Steve, Carmen, and Kit step forward. They’re all safe. Aww, Jack didn’t win? Or Jillian? The rest of them get grilled. Christian says he was going off a sculptural European piece. Monique likes the volume, Kors says it’s polished, Nina says the fabric is boring but the siholutte is great. Simone wants to express a “modern romantic” feeling. Without the jacket you can see the poor construction, and now that the model‘s not moving with the jacket on it looks terrible. She ran out of time. Kors thinks that with the jacket she looks like she dressed in the dark. Rami gets lots of praise. Kors has to add in that the flower on her shoulder is “a little mother of the bride”. Ricky explains that he does lingerie, and Nina thinks it’s boring. So does everyone else (including Heidi--did she used to talk that much?). Victorya gets some praise for how sweet it is. Victorya herself is wearing a sack. No, I am serious, it’s a sack. Kors makes fun of the straps, like she can’t lift her arms, but then he says some women will bleed for fashion. Huh? I can see bleeding for shoes, since shoes that don’t fit can actually make you bleed. How will a dress make you bleed? He says nothing about the flower. So, big shiny silver flower = OK, small flower in the same fabric as the dress = mother of the bride. Elisa babbles about her dress being alive, water, air, a haiku of a cut and Kors laughs at her. There are sound effects. Not from the editors, but from Elisa herself. Nina points out that the train drags the fabric down. The top of the dress is wonderful but the train is stupid and she should have stopped. She admits she had the impulse to cut it off. Yeah, should have done that.

Victorya’s dress had some flirtiness and charm. Christian had intricate detail, it was well made, even the back was great. Rami knows what he’s doing, and they want to see more. Simone’s dress, on the other hand, was very boring and poorly made. Elisa just did some crazy stuff. Heidi says her model looked like she was pooing fabric. Hee! Backstage Elisa is tearing up her train. Ricky’s dress is OK but very simple and it doesn’t wow them very much. Heidi and Kors agree it’s not good enough.

Victorya is in. Now for the winner: Rami. He gets immunity for the next round. Christian is in. Ricky is in. Simone and Elisa are left. Simone’s dress was too boring and it was sewn poorly. Elisa was creative but her dress needed serious editing. Simone is out. Oh good, at least one more episode of Elisa. She sounds kind of like Daniel Franco when she talks. Simone thinks she said what she wanted to say, and she didn’t think she’d be the first to go. She thought she’d be in the final 3, but she seems confident that she can make it to Fashion Week on her own.

This season: everyone laughs and stuff, there’s a special guest that people cheer for, bitchery, Jack has something to share (I know what it is and it sucks). Some judges slamming people but no really awesome sound bites. That makes me sad.
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Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Meet the fresh meat...uh, designers

Project Runway finally, FINALLY, is starting their new season. I love Project Runway, and I've been on board ever since the first episode and the corn husks. Notice how ever since then they've tried desperately to have another moment of brilliance like Austen's corn husk dress? Yeah. Anyways, now there's a new bunch of people who have probably seen 3 seasons of the show so they ought to know what to expect. This means that everyone will be shocked all the time like they've been living in a hole. Bravo decided to screw us further and not have a "Road to the Runway" episode, I guess because this week's episode of "My Husband Can Do My Job, Only Not Very Well, And I Was Right And Will Never Let Him Forget It" is too important. That pisses me off because supposedly Robert Best was at auditions and I love me some Robert. He's bitchy but funny enough to make up for it (unlike some people, ARI). So below I've listed the designers and my first impressions based on their bios. Bravo also had a fashion show to try to boost ratings and I found that here.

Carmen, 37. She has her own clothing line and business but an architecture education. She's also been a model. She's very well spoken in her interview video. I don't know, I don't have a lot to say about her since she seems competent and low-drama. No Q&A, which is sad, but she has very tall hair in her interview, like, Grace Jones tall. Her clothes include a fabulous green coat and a non-crazy hat.

Chris, 44. AKA Jay 2.0. He's a big guy in leopard print who makes costumes and wigs for Beach Blanket Babylon. This gives me the best vision of his style that I could possibly ever get. I love Jay. This should be good, although in his interview he's very calm and normal. One of the 5 must-have clothing items everyone should have? "Hot man on your arm". Love.

Christian, 21. Just looking at his photo, it says "Look at me! I'm punk!" At least he's designed for Vivienne Westwood and Alexander McQueen, so that backs up his look. He's one of those people that can't follow directions and lists 4 people when asked for 3. He seems flamey but pretty annoying, to be honest. His first model has like 18 layers on and you can see Tim Gunn adjusting his glasses and looking aghast. Christian likes hats.

Elisa, 42. Her bio is super long for some reason. Also it contains sentences like this: "She built the foundation of her work around 'The Hunger World,' a pseudo-fictitious world of marionettes brought to life and mythos through writing, drawing, painting, performance, installation, and fashion." I have no idea what that means. She's another one who can't count to 3, but she seems level-headed in her video, if kind of hippie. Her daughter is Calliope and all her models in the fashion show come out in weird clothes made of unbleached cloth and barefoot. I rest my case.

Jack, 38. Jack is hott. AND he went to UC Berkeley AND Parsons AND he says that his fashion must is "A sugar daddy." Hee. Oh, AND he's a swimmer. Yummy. It worries me slightly that he says you should show off your tits and ass, in that Kors is going to clutch his pearls and say "tootie" in a horrified tone or something. His clothes are very dramatic and I like them.

Jillian, 26. Jillian looks like a bitch. Just her photo and her facial expression. This isn't automatically a bad thing. But she's using phrases like "personal taste level." Seeing her collection, apparently her personal taste level is low enough for shiny silver mini-skirts that are so short that you can see the tops of the model's stockings, and also shiny silver leggings. I don't have a lot to say about her Q&A but she does know how to count to 3 so that's some points, and also I want the coat from her collection. The first one, not the foofy silver one.

Kevin, 30. Apparently Joey Fatone moonlights as a fashion designer. That may have to be his nickname. He says the one thing about him that would shock people is that he's straight. His clothes seem pretty cute although ankle boots + short shorts = not so much.

Kit, 26. Her clothing line is called "Kit Pistol" which I kind of like. One of her outfits is fringed leg warmers, shiny tights with stripes, black body suit with a gang of random buttons on the top of the bodice. I don't like that as much. I will say that even though I don't like her clothes they do fit the name of "Kit Pistol".

Marion, 39. Marion is a boy. He feels everyone should own thin stretch suspenders. Yeah. Also he says he's a pyromaniac and wishes Tim Gunn was his mentor. Not quite as crazy as Crazy Vincent, but there's promise. All his clothes are partially OK but partially wickety wack. He also claims that he used to tell his grandmother how to sew.

Rami, 31. He seems to do a lot of red carpet and he did some stuff for the "America's Next Top Model" ad campaign. Seems promising. His first dress looks like he wrapped the model in tin foil and it wasn't long enough, and then the second dress was fabulous. Although it seemed to have pockets. Long black evening dress with a mermaid skirt and pockets? Dusty rose long gown with weird draping and a baggy top? I don't know.

Ricky, 35. He's number 12 of 14(!) children who used to be a dancer before starting to design clothes. His bio says he worked on Vera Wang's lingerie line, which, a. I don't know that we've had a lingerie designer before, and b. Vera Wang has a lingerie line? His collection is full of lingerie which is cute.

Simone, 32. Her collection is made out of organic and surplus fabrics, so she might be a hippie. Although when looking at her clothes, it's easy to see why the fabric was surplus, because it's shiny and ugly. In her interview she's wearing the same bizarre half gloves her models were wearing in the fashion show.

Steven, 30. The designers this season seem older and established, as compared to previous seasons. Steven seems to be a designer but also work as a "Textile Preparator" for the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. I'm not sure what that is. But he's from Chicago and says that everyone should own a "cardinal red" trench coat and that is entertaining. His second model is the worst model ever. She is terrible. And his last dress has hoops or something; the model's hips look as wide as mine. AND there's a bustle.

Sweet P, 46. No really, that's what she calls herself. No 46 year old should have such a precious nickname. Especially one they got while in a girl motorcycle club called "Hells Belles". I am predisposed not to like her. Her clothes are foofy. They're loose and flowy and girly, and I guess they're supposed to be playful, but they're just...foofy.

Victorya, 34. Parents, as a teacher, I am begging you to spell your children's names properly. Victorya is from Korea so I will cut some slack but seriously. I'm not getting very much of an impression from her, although her clothes were pretty cute and Camilla (Laura's model from last year) was there looking fabulous as always. All her tops had a flutter sleeve, but a long one, like, halfway down to the model's elbow.
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Monday, October 29, 2007

Have some humble pie; I know you know what that is.

I was watching the beginning of "Next Iron Chef" last night, although I haven't seen all of it. I chose to watch "America's Most Smartest Model" instead. But I did watch enough to discover the challenge for this week: Design an airline meal, to be served in-flight.

HMMM, sounds familiar! I thought about not caring, but then I remembered that I had read an article where Alton Brown, who hosts "Next Iron Chef", had slammed "Top Chef" and generally acted superior. You can read the whole thing here: Food fight for the next Iron Chef.

I must admit that I did not read the whole article when it first appeared because the blog I read it on (TOP CHEF: THEY COOK. WE DISH) titled the article so well that it was obvious Alton had nothing but contempt for Top Chef. But I read the whole thing this morning. OK, so if I had read it, I could have complained about the airline challenge then, because it lists it among the challenges. But I was surprised to learn that Alton Brown not only has contempt for "Top Chef" (in that he thinks his mom could do that), but he feels that his show is far different from any other cooking show. Observe:

Make no mistake, said Brown, "The Next Iron Chef" isn't a run-of-the-mill reality, cooking show. This has been a food fight with flair between hardened experts -- so don't expect another version of Bravo's "Top Chef." [emphasis mine]

Really? When you've copied one of the challenges almost exactly? When every challenge has an arbitrary time limit? When you have two challenges per show, one non-elimination challenge that gives people an advantage for the elimination challenge? There's even the same number of judges! I don't mind "Next Iron Chef" being so gimmicky because the whole show is a gimmick anyways. If anything, "Top Chef" should be less gimmicky because the goal there is for them to open a restaurant where they won't have stupid rules. Iron Chefs will always have a time limit and secret ingredients so it's not as strange to hamper them with time limits and surprises. I like Alton Brown and all, and I like "Good Eats", but I think his comments will come back to haunt him.

P.S. I feel I must point out that Lufthansa > Continental. So that's something. Clicky clicky

Ha ha

I wonder if you can actually make tanning lotion out of kitchen products? Plus, I was pretty sure that the nerds were supposed to be the focus of the whole photo shoot so I'm not sure why people got yelled at for not showing off their bodies enough.

What makes my day though is the news that Andre got arrested. Clicky clicky

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Pushing Daisies

"Pushing Daisies" has a lot of rules. The first few minutes of every show reminds us of the rules. It gets old but I love the rest of the show so much that I don't care. Lee Pace makes me swoon and Chi McBride is hilarious. Kristen Chenoweth is also awesome; musical numbers are fab.

Here's about 10 minutes from the end of a recent episode. Do you need to know what the episode is about? No. Just that there was a funeral director stealing valuables from dead bodies and hiding them. This clip contains all the elements that make this show so great. Oh, you probably want the rules:

1. Ned can bring people back from the dead. He makes pies now, for some reason buying dead fruit and bringing to back to life. But if he touches something that is dead it comes back to life.

2. If he doesn't touch the person/fruit/animal/whatever again within the next minute, then it will live forever. However, something else must die in its place. In the case of fruit, the nearby flowers die, but when he brought his mother back to life, the man next door died. He happened to be the father of his childhood sweetheart Chuck. Chuck's a girl. I know.

3. Even if he has brought something back to life, if he touches it again, ever, it dies for good. So when his mother kissed him goodnight a few hours later, she died again. Chuck's dad stayed dead. Double loss. Of course, in the beginning of the show, Chuck died, and then he brought her back to life, and then couldn't kill her again, so they can't touch. Of course. Clicky clicky