My monkey could do that

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Project Runway 10/20/16--"There IS Crying in Fashion" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: there was a team challenge but the teams were 6 people and they only had to make 4 outfits! I know! There was a dumb thing where you had to pitch your idea to the judges to win your budget, but it was for the new show Lifetime is premiering tonight which I am not watching. It's basically “Shark Tank” for designers. Anyway, the team that seemed like they would be the misfit team, Dexter's team, ended up winning. Supposedly the other team lost for not sticking to their pitch enough. Dexter won, as far as I can tell for helping everyone, and Alex was sent home for a bad dress but also for being the one who did the terrible pitch. (click for more)
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Thursday, October 13, 2016

Project Runway 10/13/16--"There's No I in Team" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: everyone had to make swimwear for Heidi's clothing line. This was also combined with the “make your own print” challenge. Sigh. Rik won, with a graphic black and white geometric print that was actually pretty good. Was it original? No, but it would sell. Sarah made something boring and I had forgotten she existed until suddenly she had a bunch of screen time. So you could tell from the beginning of the episode she was going home. (click for more)
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Thursday, October 6, 2016

Project Runway 10/6/16--"Sink or Swim" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the designers had to make outfits that would undergo a “transformation” under a blacklight. Everyone used neon and some fancy paint and whatever. Cornelius continued to try to be the funny mean person but he's not that funny and everyone knows what he's doing anyway. Erin won, and she did make a print for her skirt by pasting designs and beads on there by hand, but the whole thing looked cheap and wasn't as impressive as she insisted. Kimber was eliminated. She had an ugly print and the paint did absolutely nothing so it was boring. (click for more)
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Thursday, September 29, 2016

Project Runway 9/29/16--"Blacklight or Daylight?" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: everyone acted like it was the “real women” challenge, except that everyone used their models instead of random women. They talked a big game about how everything was supposed to be flattering for all body types and all of that, but then the judges awarded the win to a jumpsuit with a giant keyhole in the back. A keyhole lined in orange. It was a vagina, is what I'm saying. I like Laurence but the average woman cannot wear an olive green silk jumpsuit that is only “a little” baggy. In other news Cornelius was very concerned with shittalking other people but no one seemed to be encouraging him. Linda was out for making a sad sheer kimono thing over a boring sweater dress. (click for more)
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Thursday, September 22, 2016

Project Runway 9/22/16--"Just Fabulous!" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the first episode of the show was an unconventional materials challenge. After 15 seasons of this show, people are still complaining that they don't use unconventional materials. You know it's coming. There was a minimum of drama, somehow. Erin won for making an all-yellow dress that was chic, I guess. Ian was out for doing a boring sheath dress with some fringe and then arguing about it. (click for more)
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Thursday, September 15, 2016

Project Runway 9/15/16--"An Unconventional Launch Party" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: Our first plus-size collection won, and that designer has a line out at J.C. Penny. That's pretty much all you need to know. Full disclosure: I have shopped at J.C. Penny before, but I certainly don't assume I'm getting the height of fashion when I'm there. (click for more)
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Wednesday, September 14, 2016

"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 9

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: Tim was eliminated, but saved at the last minute by Derek and a “rules violation”. The rules violation turned out to be Bryce killing Montecore the falcon. Supposedly he snuck out of the house and did it in retaliation for his frog. Security cameras and everything. Bryce reacted in a crazy manner of course. So once Tim was back, then we had a silly game and TJ's fake bout of diarrhea. Then we discovered TJ stole Gerald's aquasocks, which was news to viewers because they had NEVER MENTIONED it. I mean if you want us to care that Gerald hasn't showered in four days, maybe mention that fact. So to make amends TJ offered to let Gerald pick a competition, and Gerald picked a danceoff. Loser quits the show. Gerald won, but when the elimination ceremony came around, TJ refused to quit and Derek refused to make him quit, so Gerald was eliminated. Also Cammy. Just before the episode ended, Derek announced that Piper and Austin have been deciding if they want to get back together with each other. (click for more)
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