My monkey could do that

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Bromans 10/12/17--Season 1 Episode 5 summary

Previously on “Bromans”: Liam and Jordan's “punishment” was to be locked up for the day. Liam got let out earlier, because Jade and Ellie had to do the first challenge instead of their boyfriends, and Ellie killed it. Eventually Jordan did get out though, but not before Dominus showed up to read him some bad poetry. The girls also had to cook, which was pathetic but I guess there was some humor in it anyway. The final challenge was wrestling, in the black speedos, oiled up. But oiled up by your opponents girlfriend. I love this show. Dino, Brandon, Tom, and Jordan all won their battles. Even though Doctore tried to argue in favor of Glenn, he and Tian were up for elimination. The vote was split right down the middle, so the Emperor gets to have the last say, and Tian was banished. (click for more)
Clicky clicky

Friday, October 13, 2017

Project Runway 10/12/17--"A Little Avant Garde" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: we dragged out the nonsense about the twins for another 15 minutes so they could have their “one hour challenge”. Really that meant Shawn cried and flailed and then quit and made it about how she was making a noble sacrifice, instead of how she hadn't actually done anything and would have gone home for that. The challenge proper was about making clothes for friends and family of the crew. It was fine, except that Margarita complained constantly about Claire copying her, and then about Claire cheating. Of course this means Claire won, and then before they could announce who was eliminated Michael walked off the stage and said he wouldn't stand for unfairness. More on this after the cut. (click for more)
Clicky clicky

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Bromans 10/5/17--Season 1 Episode 4 summary

Previously on “Bromans”: so I guess whenever someone is eliminated they'll bring on a new pair so there are always eight lads. Our new pair is Callum and Rachel. The lads have to do some cross-training or something, with Doctore yelling at them. He declares Brandon and Glenn the “winners”, because they pushed themselves the hardest or whatever. They and their girlfriends won massages, and that's about it. Well, I guess the other guys saw them as a “threat” or whatever. The girls made plaster molds of their body parts and I learned apparently ITV or whatever network this is has no problem with showing a penis but they won't show a naked breast. The actual challenge was to use a slingshot, and most of the lads failed miserably. Liam and Jordan were put up for banishment, and only Dino and Cherelle voted for Liam, but then Dominus says no one is being sent home. (click for more)
Clicky clicky

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Project Runway 10/5/17--"Client on the Go" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: use a menswear look to get fabrics, then pick teams, then make a fall look that goes with your partner's look. Why are these things so complicated for no reason? Anyway, of course the twins paired up and provided most of the drama and arguing (with an assist from Kenya and Amy). Shawn continued to complain about having plus-sized models, even though I learned Liris is not the size 22 model advertised in the promos. I thought she was simply because they seem to be presenting her as the most difficult to dress. Margarita made a mostly simple dress with some cool seaming, which was producible so she won. It's a fine dress, although it only goes up to a size 16 or so. Of course the twins were in the bottom, and then Heidi was like “oh we can't decide” so now we have to start this episode with a one hour challenge. Whatever. At least they didn't say they couldn't decide and therefore weren't eliminating anyone. (click for more)
Clicky clicky

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Bromans 9/28/17--Season 1 Episode 3 summary

Previously on “Bromans”: a new pair was introduced to the competition. Liam looked very intimidating, but couldn't follow it up. His girlfriend Ellie didn't approve, but no one really judged her for being mad at Liam. Meanwhile, Kai failed to understand one of the two rules of the wrestling challenge, and Modina laid into him about it and was soundly denounced. There was no explanation for why everyone said Modina was wrong, but when Ellie did the same thing no one cared. We also had an “American Gladiator” style challenge which looked painful and seemed to involve not falling down as much as it involved winning fights. Tom won, although it's not clear if he actually won any kind of prize. Kai and Tian were up for elimination, and although Kai argued that he was useless and should be kept, Doctore told Natalie to speak for Tian and then everyone voted for Tian except for Glenn. I know I was treating this show as just dumb fluff, but you all know how I feel about elimination shenanigans. There are aliens at the edge of the galaxy who know how I feel about elimination shenanigans. So Kai and Modina were banished. (click for more)
Clicky clicky

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Project Runway 9/28/17--"The Ultimate Faceoff" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: we had the “your models are your clients” challenge. The models got to choose their designers, which was not super interesting except for 1. Samantha was chosen first, and 2. Claire was last. Claire and Shawn continued to make each other's clothes, to the point where Claire promised her model long pants if she had time, and then made Shawn's clothes and not long pants. But even though Tim told the judges this, no one said a word to Claire that we saw. Instead, all of a sudden the judges hate everything Samantha's ever done, and she's one note. Let's not mention the part where they've spent two episodes telling her that what she herself is wearing is better than what her model is wearing. Or how she basically made herself an outfit this week and they hated it. Apparently it was her time to go so she went home. Kentaro won, for making what was basically faux denim thigh highs. They were cool and all, but the bullshit with Samantha overshadowed it somewhat. (click for more)
Clicky clicky

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Bromans 9/21/17--Season 1 Episode 2 summary

Previously on “Bromans”: a bunch of Jersey Shore-types showed up to a crappy set to pretend to be gladiators. First they had to stand outside naked while their girlfriends dug for clothing. Then they had to haul rocks in a chariot. In between these activities was a lot of nonsense and general tomfoolery. The two main actors broke the 4th wall repeatedly, almost as if they knew they were in a terrible show. The two slowest lads, Richard and Glenn, were up for elimination. As the contestants voted for who would go home, they decided Glenn was easy to beat so they kept him. Richard and Sophii lost. This show might be terrible, but I find it endlessly entertaining, which probably means I should think about my life. (click for more)
Clicky clicky