Friday, January 29, 2010

Project Runway 1/28/10--"The Hi's and Lows of Fashion" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Everyone had to go to a farm and make dresses out of potato sacks. Well…burlap anyway. I doubt they used real potato sacks. The models are the clients, but even Tim admits the judges won’t care if you don’t please them. Amy made a gorgeous draped short dress with petals, but Jay ended up winning. His was cute too. Ping showed her model’s ass on the runway but the judges didn’t even critique her too harshly. In the end Pamela went home, even though she got her dye job to look like denim. (click for more)

People primp, and then give Jesus crap about being in the bottom two all the time. He has to be himself. Jesse complains about Ping, even though his designs aren’t making any waves at all. But he doesn’t have sleeves so I’m a bit distracted. Ping runs around like crazy just before they leave.

Heidi asks if they’d like to meet “some of the most iconic fashion designers” of all time. Past “Project Runway” winners? Michael Kors? DSquared2? Maybe not that last one.

Tim is waiting for them at the Met. Outside in a courtyard (well…a big foyer with a glass ceiling) is Tim standing amongst a field of mannequins wearing different dresses. There are 10 iconic looks from 10 different designers. They will be in teams of two, making a high end signature look that would fit in with these pieces. Mostly they’re ball gowns and stuff that you only see near the end of the show. They will get $500 (most ever!) and two days. Jay gets to be a team leader because he won. Tim picks buttons for the rest: Jesus, Anthony, Janeane, Mila, Ping (no one cheers for her, bastards), and Emilio. Now we pair up: Maya, Amy, Seth Aaron (they flirt, ew), Ben, Jonathan, Jesse, and Anna, respectively. Wow, I never imagined Jesse would get paired with Ping! Even though he was the only person this morning to complain about someone else in interview! Sigh. Before they go sketch, Tim tells them to get inspired. Seth Aaron fanboys out. These dresses are fantastic.

Back in Parsons Ping is immediately talking bout combining her drapiness with Jesse’s tailoring. According to Jonathan, Tim made sure to tell everyone the team leader has the final decision. He’s sure Mila has no problem with that. Ben and Janeane are doing two pieces. Maya tries to take the lead since Jay has immunity. Wait…he doesn’t though.

Tim FINALLY takes them to Mood to get fabrics. Amy and Jesus buy dramatic fabrics. Jesse and Ping argue about how to cut the fabric. Mila wants “a nod to the 60s”, “stunning”, and “fashion forward”, all at the same time. Ping loses her sketchbook. Tim just shakes his head. Everyone somehow finishes. I’m not sure if Ping ever found her sketchbook.

Back at Parsons Emilio gives Anna directions, but she seems kind of hesitant and insecure in her abilities so she doesn’t mind. Mila and Jonathan talk about how they work differently but they manage not to say anything negative about each other. Jesse tells Ping he’s not doing a bunch of work if she’s just going to cover it. I see his point, but he’s been a bitch today. Just like, it’s obvious he thinks he should be leader and he’s not even pretending to respect her. Ping thinks he feels insecure with her approach. Jesse worries about time. I don’t think she ever had a problem with time. She tells him not to tell her anything more because she never doubted her designs before. Jonathan has noticed Ping and Jesse are constantly fighting. I mean, Jesse told her he doesn’t think she has a design vision. In comparison, Mila and Jonathan are getting along fine. Anthony and Seth Aaron are using bright yellow, red, and black. Anthony says that they are designing a gown for the vice president of McDonalds. “However! Everybody needs a dress.” Hee! Jesse says his dress (I guess Ping’s dress) has like 30 pieces to sew together.

Day 2, and it’s Tim time! Gather round! Seth Aaron knows what’s up. Of course it’s a twist! Another look! And I was so looking forward to only having 7 looks. Anyways, this is a “look for less”, made with $50 instead of $500. Plus they have to base it not off of their own look, but they must base it off someone else’s team. Haha! Ping picks Emilio, Janeane takes Mila, Jay picks Janeane, Mila picks Anthony, Anthony picks Jesus, Jesus picks Ping, Emilio is left with Jay. That was so confusing. 20 minutes to confer, and then one team member will go shopping. Everyone discusses the other team’s design style and how little time they have. Jesse is worried because he doesn’t know what Ping will buy. I’m pretty sure Ping will assume full responsibility for a failed look and not throw you under the bus.

Mood. Frantic shopping. That was fun.

Jesse turns his nose up at Ping’s fabric, calling it “a nice hooker kind of shiny synthetic substance”. Look, you had $50. I’m sad the hot boy is turning out to be kind of a jerk. Jonathan is sewing and Mila is cutting. Maya brings up again that Jay has immunity, except he doesn’t. Does he? Janeane is feeling good. Jonathan clarifies what he meant: Mila is making a coat, but he is doing the rest of the first outfit and all the second. Seth Aaron and Anthony have a calm discussion about how Anthony is in charge and it’s probably hard for Seth Aaron to do what someone else wants. Anthony interviews that smacking Seth Aaron around probably wouldn’t be productive. Seth Aaron claims to be a good follower now, and Anthony tells him he’ll make him write it in blood. Hee.

The models come for fittings. Jesse talks over Ping because he can’t remember she’s in charge. Emilio wishes they’d shut up. Anthony tells Ping he likes her dress. She thanks him, but then she doesn’t say anything, so Anthony clears his throat loudly and asks if maybe she doesn’t want to tell him anything. So she says he’s very funny and very nice. Hee. “I like you too, sister!” I love Anthony.

Tim time! Jesus and Maya have almost nothing. Hurry up! Ping and Jesse are pretty well along, but Tim doesn’t like Ping’s fabric either. Sigh. Jesse gloats. Tim makes faces at Anthony and Seth Aaron’s gown, but he says that their second look is so obviously based on Jesus that they can really construct it however they want. It’s a peach with a black lace overlay. Anthony calls Seth Aaron “Papa” and tells Tim he “abandoned” a top he already made, on the floor. Then he tells him not to act up in front of company. Love. Mila and Jonathan have like, a black and white track suit, and a sort of dress.

Jesse is working on the dress, and is letting Ping do other things “to keep her out of the way”. Honey, you may be hot, and you may remind me of quite possibly the hottest man on the best cancelled show ever, but you do not hate on Ping.

On the day of the runway show, Jonathan is worried about time management. Jesse is more concerned with his security than the team success. That’s pretty obvious to everyone. Jonathan knows that Mila would sell him out, but he would sell her out too. Tim only gives them one hour. There is a TON of frantic working.

Guest judge today is Matthew Williamson. Heidi pretends they might eliminate multiple people. Anthony and Seth Aaron: long gown with a black skirt and a yellow strapless top with a sweetheart neckline. The bodice isn’t bright yellow any more, it has some black overlay or something. It’s nice, but not earth shattering or anything. I guess we’re just doing signature looks the first time around. Jesus and Amy: long column gown with a halter neckline. It’s a skin-toned fabric, with a black overlay (kind of like lace with cutouts but nicer) and a standing-up ruffle on the neckline. Mila and Jonathan: black and white bodysuit with a long jacket. At first I thought it was a leather jacket, but I think it might be silk? It’s very voluminous. Like a pod. Janeane and Ben: it’s a little black dress with a sleeveless vest. That’s it? Emilio and Anna: knee length sheath dress with a bolero jacket. Emilio claims he scaled down because Anna is not experienced. Jay and Maya: long black dress with ruffles. A lot near the right shoulder, lined in a contrasting fabric, that stand up by her face. Ping and Jesse: it looks like a toga with a lace camisole. It’s all in shades of black and gray, and the fabric is wrapped around her and over one arm and shoulder. Just like a toga.

Cheap look time! Jesus and Amy: I think it’s bloomers, or possibly harem pants, with a black tank top. Anthony and Seth Aaron: black bustier and a peach skirt with a black lace overlay. Mila and Jonathan: short baby doll dress with a black skirt and a yellow bodice. They were supposed to be inspired by Anthony’s look, which is…a black skirt and a yellow bodice. It’s the same. Janeane and Ben: little black dress with a jacket in gray and black, that has a similar pattern to Mila’s jacket. Emilio and Anna: knee length one shouldered dress in a striped fabric. I think the one shouldered thing was because of the ruffles in Jay’s dress. Jay and Maya: another little black dress and vest. Ping and Jesse: short black skirt and a gray tank top. It’s boring, but so was Emilio’s, kind of.

Janeane, Ben, Jesus, Amy, Emilio, and Anna are all safe. Anthony, Seth Aaron, Jesse, and Ping have the lowest scores and must leave the runway to stew in the Stew Room. Well…it’s not called that but I don’t have anything else to call it. Heidi says that Jay has immunity, except I STILL don’t remember anything about that. Jay says it didn’t matter to him. They like Jay and Maya’s gown, with the ruffles and the other sleeve bare. Kors points out that the cheap look appears to be just as expensive as its inspiration. Don’t know if that’s praise or a slam on the other designers. Oh, it’s a slam. He says that their $46 is much better. It’s got a lot of horizontal pleats on the bodice and some detailing that is cool. Mila and Jonathan have the greatest jacket that Heidi especially loves. Matthew says it’s graphic and sportswear inspired. Even though their cheap look was almost a direct copy, they don’t mention that but they do mention that baby doll dresses are overrated. Kors loves that they made separates for their signature look.

Loser time! I miss the loser gong. Nina asks Ping and Jesse’s model to drop the fabric. Turns out her skirt is just a short skirt with big swaths of fabric tacked on in the back. The judges sigh. Kors hates their cheap look and thinks it’s ill-fitting and blah. Jesse says he sewed everything because he had to teach Ping how to sew. Then the model has to speak up and say she never got fitted for the cheap look. Don’t hate on Ping! (Side note: on the model show, that girl hugged Ping and was like, “Oh, I loved working with you! Good luck!“ but everyone knew she threw Ping under the bus. And then all the other models told her she should have kept her mouth shut. And then Jesse was like, “Girl! You had my back! I‘ll keep you forever!”) Anthony’s dress is costumey and from “Gone With the Wind.” Anthony is like, what would you have done, but Matthew says he can’t tell him how to design. They’re bored by the cheap look too. Nina says they’re both ugly. Ouch. Then she says Seth Aaron should have stepped in even though Anthony was in charge. Seth Aaron refuses to throw Anthony under the bus.

Jay and Maya had a great cheap look that was wearable. All the judges love Mila’s coat. Ping’s dress was a lot of look, and Heidi is offended she never fit the model with the cheap look. Jesse never did it either, but I guess we’re not going to mention that. Anthony and Seth Aaron were too literal, and costumey.

Jonathan is in. Mila is the winner. And she has immunity. I’m marking that down right now. Maya is in. Jay is in. Seth Aaron is in. Jesse is in. Anthony is in. That means Ping is out. Sad. She says she did an amazing job. Jesse hugs her, that two-faced bastard. She’s proud of herself.

Next week: somehow the clients are inspiring, and someone says it’s “the largest” challenge, so pregnant women again? Lots of flailing.

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Friday, January 22, 2010

Project Runway 1/21/10--"The Fashion Farm" summary

Previously on Project Runway: We started our new season back in New York, where we belong. There were a large number of designers, and I got very tired trying to describe all their dresses. Everyone had to design an outfit that showed who they were as a designer. Anthony showed that he would provide excellent sound bites. His dress wasn’t too bad but he did end up in the bottom. Ping is our resident “free spirit” but I feel that she is more Elisa than Ari. Compare Ping to Ari; doesn’t Ari seem like she was overemphasizing how wacky she was? Anyway, Ping is awesome. And I realized why I think Jesse is so hot (thanks TWoP!). He looks like Lee Pace from “Pushing Daisies”. And Lee Pace is smoking hot. In the end Christiane went home, for a poorly made half-fitted half-draped dress in a bad color combo. Emilio won, with a very cute dress with appliquéd strips. (click for more)

In the opening sequence, which I didn’t see last week, someone says “I won’t do anything to win” or something like that. Anthony replies, “I will!” Hee. Also Jonathan holds up some scissors all “Charlie’s Angels” style and says “My weapon of choice.” Shut up, Jonathan.

Jesus feels horrible for being in the bottom 3. He has to step it up. Everyone complains that it’s too early. Pamela lets us know they got the chance to say goodbye to Christiane.

Heidi reminds everyone that Emilio has immunity, so he can do whatever he wants. They want to see what the designers are made of, so it’s field trip time! To “a place that is…well…a little out there”. Janeane thinks perhaps this means they’re going to the moon.

No, no, it’s a farm. A real farm. HA! The models are behind Tim wearing galoshes and burlap potato sacks. They make the designers tramp halfway into a muddy field. Tim reminds them of the expression, “She’s so beautiful, she’d look good in a potato sack.” Bring it on! They have to make a party look out of a potato sack. This challenge kicks ass. The models are also the clients, and they made up an industry event for them to wear the outfits to. Then Tim says since the models are the clients, they’re going to pick out the designer they want to work with. So wait, why did we have model choosing at all? What was the point if they’re just going to rechoose people? Models pick, blah blah. Mila is the last one and she‘ll have a new model because her model chose someone else. There are some trims, buttons, and so forth they can pick from. Amy’s model is telling her exactly what she wants. Ping wants to play with the texture.

Back at Parsons everyone tries to figure out how to make burlap look expensive. They only have until midnight tonight. Emilio is very very thankful he’s got immunity. Burlap is “older than Moses“, he says. Pamela is dying hers. Ben’s design is both “voluminous” and “gathered”. Mila is still bitter she was last, and that in the process her model ditched her for Anthony. As we all would. Mila says something to him, which he kind of ignores (interviewing that he‘s better than her anyway), and then she says, “Her loss.” Oo. Anthony sounds like he’s gearing up for a comment when she realizes what that sounded like and promises him that was about her. He says she can kiss his ass and his entire family’s asses. Ping knows her style of working is different, but she was in the top three so she’s pretty confident. Anna grabbed some potatoes from the farm and is using them as stamps to print her fabric. Nice.

Tim time! Pamela’s dyed burlap turned out really well for the bustier, and she wanted to make a dress, but Tim points out to her that making a top and a skirt will look the same and time-wise is better. Mila has two patches with silver ribbon? But I’m not sure if they’re samples of what she’s doing to the whole piece, or if she’s going to sew them on, or what. She’s also got some tulle that her model grabbed, which horrifies Tim because she should never listen to the model. Or something. They always have these client challenges but they never really care if the client is happy. They would rather the client hate it but you don’t “compromise your integrity”. Jay still has to dye his fabric and then sew bric-a-brac on, but he thinks he still has time. Tim practically passes out. Ping is carving the shape of the top. Her skirt is pretty short, and Tim reminds her of the geometry of the runway. Short skirt + elevated runway = Kors saying “insane crotch” and “vulgar”. She’s horrified and says she’ll lower it. Amy has 8 panels in her skirt and they have to dry. Each one has just the edge dyed a darker brown. She starts describing her top, which is basically what her model wants, and Tim flat out says if the judges don’t like it, they won’t care if her model likes it. Jesus calls him “Mr. Tim” and is making a fitted skirt just with ribbons. Or is he covering the burlap with ribbons? Either way, you can’t see the burlap at all in his design, and Tim tells him he’s not really fulfilling the challenge.

The models come in for fitting and to comment on designs. Everyone seems to like the designs. Seth Aaron says that Ping does that Asian influenced thing well, but she has a lack of experience. First of all, where are you getting that from? Second, don’t conduct slightly racist interviews in a bandana and your “metal” outfit because you just look like a tool. Third, I bet you’re wearing guyliner. Just a hunch. Anthony’s model starts giving him suggestions regarding buttons. On a cocktail dress. Anthony takes a deep breath. Mila brings up, again, that her model ditched her, but she’s OK with it because her new model likes her dress. Quick shot of Jesse wearing Logan’s hat from last season. Jonathan says the dying area is a disaster area. Jay’s color is not dark enough. He’s only half done and the show is tomorrow.

In the morning, I guess it really is pretty early because it’s not quite light outside the windows. Everyone primps and worries they won’t finish. Janeane is “getting used” to not having time, after two challenges. Tim gives them two hours and looks concerned. Ben says his model is in love with his look, but her face looks blank. Maybe that’s how she always looks, I don’t know. A lot of people are sewing their models into the dresses. Ping’s design is short. Jonathan says it doesn’t cover her ass, but we never see a shot of that like when Zulema sent out that poor model with her ass showing, so he may be exaggerating. Anthony thinks Pamela’s model has a big ass. Running around. Finally it’s time to go. People are still grabbing shoes and whatnot but they finally all leave.

Guest judge today is Lauren Hutton. Oo! Anthony: strapless short dress. The skirt is constructed like a bubble skirt, but you can see how the fabric is draped diagonally. Plus it’s dyed raspberry. It looks really cute. Ping: fitted high-necked top and a skirt. The skirt is very wide, with big pockets? Wings? Saddlebags? I don’t know what to call them. The skirt is all one width, and the pockets or whatever are stiff. OH and then she turns around and her ass really is hanging out. There’s a slit in the back of the skirt and you can clearly see her ass. Oh, Ping. Nina just shakes her head. Ben: one shouldered baby doll dress. It’s that same raspberry as Anthony’s, so I think that’s what the red dye ends up like. It’s pretty cute and youthful. Mila: fitted sheath dress in a dark color with a deep V in front. All down the front she put horizontal silver ribbons, and down the back too. Then there are ribbons connecting the front to the back, along her hips. It doesn’t quite fit her chest right, but I wonder if that’s on purpose. Anna: short dress with the print from the potatoes. It’s cute but I feel like it doesn’t quite fit. Jesse: pants with a red racing stripe down the side and a fitted vest with the same trim in red. It’s not bad, actually, but I don’t know that it’s a “party look”. However, this is the first time he’s been on the screen today so I’m sure he’s fine. Seth Aaron: first of all, his model has a hood. Then there is a fitted bodice and an A-line skirt, but stiffened so it moves like a cone.

Amy: halter top with a cowl neckline, and a skirt made from panels of burlap so it moves and looks soft. I love it. It looks very soft and not like burlap. Janeane: strapless dress in dark gray and red, with some extra volume at the hips. It looks classy. Jay: dark blue fitted dress with a V-neck. The skirt is made out of shredded burlap so it’s like fringe. But it doesn’t quite fit under her arms. Emilio: fitted sheath dress with a halter neckline. There are vertical strips made of wide ribbon, which make her look even taller. Some are along seams but some are random. Jesus: the top is a plain plunging V in a dark brown. The skirt is still covered in green ribbon, with a diagonal brown stripe. I can’t tell if the stripe is burlap or not, but it ends at the back seam which looks weird. Jonathan: fitted sheath with a halter neckline. There is black lace up the front, and the burlap is undyed. The panel of lace is really wide. Maya: strapless fitted dress in dark brown, with a red strip of ribbon just under the top, and a yellow panel in the skirt. Imagine you made a wrap skirt and ten in that triangle at the bottom, where the fabric doesn’t overlap, you filled that in with a contrasting color. Then the model turns around and the whole back of the skirt is yellow. Pamela: strapless short dress in a denim color. There are two thin strips of ribbon down the front left side, and the back laces up. Her ass does look big.

Pamela, Mila, Ping, Jay, Jesus, and Amy are called out as the top and bottom. Jay starts off, and Kors had wondered how he made the skirt. They say it’s lovely, and then we quickly move on. Pamela says she wanted faded blue jeans. Nina says the dress is too tight, too short, and not sophisticated. Kors says a plain potato sack would be more flattering, although the dying is beautiful. Heidi asks the model if she’d wear the dress to the event, and the girl doesn’t answer. Mila visualized that color and she wanted something futuristic. Kors doesn’t like the front gaping, but Heidi does. Kors says the boys will like it, anyway, with that tone that makes it quite clear that he’s not one of the boys. Heh. Nina loves it. Poor Ping wanted her model’s skin to contrast with the burlap but her model is too fair. Ping’s already starting to cry. Her model says likes it. They make the model show her ass. Ping starts to say she didn’t understand, that “industry” party to her said “county fair potato party”. Hee. Heidi says she has an edgy eye but it doesn’t always translate. Lauren says it will with work, and Nina says she has tough competition. See? Everybody loves Ping. Heidi asks Jesus what percentage of his dress is burlap. He says the whole thing is burlap and the ribbons are laid on top. They don’t like the cheat. Nina wants something younger. Lauren is confused. Amy wanted to “retain the organic quality” of the burlap. Kors says she didn’t try to disguise it, but made it fun and flirty.

Heidi was blown away in general by the clothes. Jay transformed his fabric entirely and made it light. Mila’s dress was edgy and hot. Amy kept enough of the burlap so you would know exactly what the dress was. Jesus’s skirt looks weird because of the stripe stopping at the center seam. They don’t like the brown. Kors says it makes your ass look lopsided. Asscrepancy? Ping doesn’t seem to understand things, like what the challenge is, but everyone else did. Kors thinks she doesn’t listen. Lauren thinks if she could have lined it, it would have been fine. Pamela’s model’s ass looked huge. But her dress was well made and dyed.

Amy is in. Jay wins. I did like his dress. Mila is in. Ping is in. Phew! Jesus is in. Pamela is out, and in her exit interview she says she falls in love with people easily and everyone is her friend. She thinks everyone wishes she’d be with them at Fashion Week. Not everyone is nice like that.

Next week: teams of two! Drama!
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Thursday, January 14, 2010

Project Runway 1/14/10--"Back to New York" summary

I can’t improve on that title. Thank goodness.

Why did my DVR start taping in the middle of someone’s introduction? I mean, I’m sure I just missed the beginning of his intro, but, stupid. Seth Aaron Henderson, 38. Does he go by all his names? Sigh. He jumps on the bed and breaks it. He starts talking about vintage pieces. His pieces aren’t edgy though. Janeane Ceccanti, 28. She’s listed with three names also but she introduced herself as just Janeane. Her clothes are mostly pretty. She’s so glad to be in NY she’s crying already. Ping Wu, 33. She’s a physical therapist, but has very loose flowing clothes. Ben Chmura, 30. Ben reminds me of Todd Oldham. Delicious. Anthony Williams, 28. He is like a slightly larger flamey Wayne Brady. He should be fun. Jay Sario, 31. He wants to do what he loves. For some reason the boys talk about the broken bed, which maybe Seth isn’t going to claim? Even though he’s the one that broke it? Then everyone compares how much they weigh, except Anthony, who says he’s thirsty. Pamela Ptak, 47. She used to work in advertising. Anna Lynett, 23. She looks about 14. Jonathan Peters, 29, claims to be an animal. He’s been hand-painting items in an attempt to make them edgy, but they still look pretty. Jesse LeNoir, 24. Oh honey. Do you know what his job is? He works at Disneyworld, playing Jack Sparrow. His picture on the website has him in a suit so he looks like a preppy rich boy, but MAN is he hot in person. He claims to be an actor, but playing Jack Sparrow at Disneyworld I think is “acting”. Mila Hermanovski, 40. She’s been making costumes. Oo, a costumer! Maya Luz, 21. She has very structured, voluminous clothes, but is also edgy. Christiane King, 30. People please spell your kids’ names in a normal fashion. I beg you as a teacher. Jesus Estrada, 21. His clothes are couture poofy giant gowns. Emilio Sosa, 43. He speaks Spanish. I think. Amy Sarabi, 26. She loves innovation.

Now is the time for the party on the roof! Heidi’s pregnant again. We’re in New York, at Parson’s, in Mood, Heidi’s pregnant…all is back to normal. Emilio has been working in costuming, but he says that’s just for money. He wants his clothes on regular people. Ben is talking about comic books. Christiane is all about color. Her portfolio is actually colorful which is great. Anna is fresh out of school. Tim lets them know their first challenge will start tomorrow morning in Central Park.

When they arrive there, big swaths of fabric have been draped on coat racks and benches, rolls in barrels, pinned on dress forms. Tim says that for this challenge their look has to embody their point of view. He’s standing on a runway with a scrim that has the logo on it. What is that for? They will have 3 minutes to grab whatever they can. But then they’re going back to Parson’s so why is there a runway? Everyone runs. Emilio says they are like fat people at an open buffet in Vegas. There is shrieking but no injuries. Tim says editing is important, so out of what they are holding right now they must pick five. Nice. Ping doesn’t like her choices. Tim tells her she has to unwrap one of her fabrics from the cardboard tube so it fits in her Mood bag, so she’s flailing around with it like she’s waving a flag. Anthony says “Ping. Pong.” which just doesn’t do it for me, sorry to say.

Yay Parson’s! The room looks darker than before. I think they repainted or something. Everyone also has an electronic sketchpad. Winner of this challenge gets immunity.

Seth is going over the top. For some reason he’s left his boot on the floor. Janeane is making a little black dress with panels. Emilio has hot pink and circles? It’s very loud. Ping drapes fabric on herself and says how much she loves the mirror. Everyone looks at her but no one interviews anything. They worry about time.

Tim appears to bring in the models. I think many people don’t have enough to put on their models. Jesus has a tight bronze dress, but it seems to have a handkerchief attached to the hem by one corner. I hope he’s fixing that.

Jonathan polls the sewing room to find out what everyone is wearing. He’s going to wear something he’ll look dignified going home in. Emilio’s fabric is looking darker and not as crazy.

Tim time! Christiane has a blue and yellow print and a royal blue solid color. She wonders if it’s out there. He says that she should stand behind it and make sure it’s finished. Ping has wrapped herself in fabric, including a turban, and Tim asks her why she’s enshrouded. This is her look. She doesn’t have a dress form at home so this is how she makes everything. Fair enough. When asked if she can be objective, she says she would only give her customers clothes she herself would wear. Tim can only laugh. Seth has too many zippers. Well, maybe just one, but that one is bright red on a black and white checked fabric. Oh, and he is going by Seth Aaron. He says that zipper is him. Janeane has some pleating on the bodice of her dress, but she’s picked a fabric that is all puckery. Tim points that out, and she freaks out and cries in confessional about how she has to fix it. Anthony has one boob in yellow, and one in a dark green print. It’s not working for him. Tim refers to the print as the starring actress, and the yellow as a poor supporting player, and Anthony says he just introduced her to Tim that way, but Tim doesn’t want to meet her so she’s getting put out. Hee. Jesus has lengthened his dress, which is actually brown leather. But since he had a shorter skirt, there’s a seam where he added to the length. Emilio is still working on his top, with no skirt started. Tim tells him that they’ve never had anyone not finish. Oo. Tim announces to them all they may have to “recalibrate your ambitions” so they can finish.

Christiane thinks she can win, but it has to fit perfectly. Janeane cries again. She seems to be jealous of everyone else. She’s also making a whole new dress, at 11pm. Emilio leaves with only half his dress done. He whines, “Why me?” You’re the one designing.

In the morning there is a lot of running around and panicking. Mila says that Christiane could have pushed her design and her construction skills are lacking. Ping has a very different garment, which seems to be just draped fabric. Tim brings the models in a gives them an hour. Jesus thinks his dress is hot. He’s confident. Anthony’s still behind. Emilio has somehow gotten done. I’m not sure how. Janeane thinks she can finish. They must have been really behind for Tim to say something. At the 5 minute warning some models are still naked. Seth Aaron is still confident. And now he’s wearing a bandana headband in confessional. Anthony is “sweating like a Baptist preacher” and his zipper is stuck. The dress zipper, not his zipper.

Heidi comes out and reminds them of the prizes. New this year, in addition to the other prizes, the winner will get a $50,000 “technology suite” to help them design things and run their business. Nina and Kors are here, and they’ll be here all season. Also there is Nicole Richie. SIGH. Jonathan: short dress with a black skirt, a wide black belt, and a fitted top that has a dark green print. It looks kind of metallic. It’s not very exciting. Seth Aaron: black and white checkered dress, with a short bubble hem. There are weird suspender-like straps on the bodice, which are not attached to the bodice, so it looks like he couldn’t fit the dress properly. Then all the way down the back is a big red zipper. Jesus: one shouldered brown leather dress, to the floor, with a chiffon train in the back. It looks pretty good and there is a matching choker. The horizontal seam in the skirt isn’t that noticeable. Ben: orange dress, short, with a subtle stripe to the orange. The skirt has extra volume at the hips and very pointy shoulders. Think of the width of shoulder pads in the 80’s and then under that, very short tight sleeves. Oo, Asian model! Jay: oh, Jay. A strapless bodice with a light green print, and then a high waisted pencil skirt in a darker fabric. With giant flowers on the skirt. Like, he took the skirt fabric and made big poofy flowers and sewed them on her hips and right over her belly button. AND there are two on her ass. Pamela: hot pink short dress with wide elbow-length kimono sleeves. It’s actually not bad. When she turns around you can see that there is no back to the dress, just thin strings. So the wide sleeves are actually just squares of fabric, attached to the skirt with a string going from one corner to the skirt. It’s interesting. Emilio: one shouldered dress with a darker wine background. Over that are strips of a circle print in a lighter wine. The bodice has a lot of the background, but the skirt is almost all print except for some strips of solid.

Jesse: slim pencil skirt and an off the shoulder top, in a dark beige. The top can be unzipped to reveal a fitted blouse in the same style, but in orange. The jacket doesn’t fit that well, so I’m glad to see there’s a blouse underneath. Ping: it…it’s just some fabric she draped over. A red on top, and a darker color for a skirt. I think there’s a big strap, like a giant suspender, for the skirt. As the model came out, she had a red plaid piece over her head that she took off and draped over one arm. I don’t get it. Christiane: one shouldered dress, with a royal blue and a yellow and blue print. It looks like she alternated fabrics, so the top of the bodice has the print on the right side, then on the left, then on the right of the skirt. As if she made a fitted blue dress and then wove the print into it. Amy: gray strapless bodice and white and black print bubble skirt. Blah. Actually I lied. She has a titscrepancy: it looks like she sewed a shoulder pad over one boob. Janeane: a blousy black top in chiffon, with a darker panel down the front, and a beige skirt. Boring. Mila: very short gray skirt, black shell with a white windowpane, and a blue print jacket with short sleeves. The jacket looks kind of old-lady but that skirt is pretty short. Anthony: short dress with a halter neckline. It’s in a print, dark green with pastel shapes, I think. On her left hip are big gathers of fabric, but they’re stiff so they hold their shape in big loops. Amy: dress with a bubble skirt that is almost the color of the model’s skin. Next! Maya: short dress in champagne (also almost the color of the model’s skin). One side of the bodice is big stiff ruffles in a slightly darker color. It produces some interest. Finally we’re done.

Amy, Anna, Ben, Janeane, Jay, Jesse, Jonathan, Maya, Mila, and Pamela are safe. Anthony is up first. He wanted a different shape and something fun. I’m noticing he’s pretty short. Heidi is bored by the top, although Kors doesn’t think anyone would buy it. Nina thinks the fabric and the silhouette don’t mesh. The back is all jacked up too; it doesn’t fit properly and is really short. Seth Aaron has some story about the MTV movie awards and Little Tokyo. They love it. The straps in the back are nice. They think it’s commercial. I don’t the worst dressed lists would be kind to a wide red exposed zipper. Ping wanted the fabric to move, and Nicole says she would wear it, so that’s something I guess. Nina wonders how it would look on a hanger, but Kors says it’s a great first piece to tell them all about who she is. Jesus didn’t really make a fashionable leather evening gown. Heidi spied the seam and calls him out on it. Nina wants lightness. Christiane’s dress has wonderful draping but the combination of fabrics isn’t working. And they know the hem is not finished. Emilio’s dress is deceptively simple. Nina brings up the hanger appeal again.

Anthony didn’t match his fabric to the shape of his dress. Christiane was unsophisticated and the hem was terrible. Jesus’s dress is unexpected but also cliché. It would have been glamorous, says Kors, in a lounge in Vegas in 1972. Seth Aaron, they praise to the heavens. Are we watching the same show? That dress wasn’t that great. He did do a good job with the styling. Emilio had a sweet dress, with the full skirt, and also looks very expensive. Ping was very unusual, and expressed who she was.

Ping is in. Emilio gets a bunch of praise and is the winner. Nice. Seth Aaron is in. Anthony is in. He gasps like the drama queen he is and tries to confirm she said in. Heidi tells him to get lost before she changes her mind. Hee. Christiane had poor fabric choices and construction, and they don’t know who she is as a designer. Jesus also made a poor fabric choice. Heidi tells Jesus that someone has to go, but not him because he’s safe. When did Heidi get this idea to do that? I like the old way better. Christiane never saw it coming. She’s glad to have met everyone.

Next week: the farm. No really, they’re on a farm. Tim is flabbergasted. Someone designs a poor dress. Ping cries, which makes me sad. I like her.

Oh, and on the model show? Each week the judges chose the strongest models and Heidi tells the designers who they are. Every single designer kept their model. EVERY ONE.
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