"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 7

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: Ingrid was allowed to return to the show, since Austin is an idiot and was speaking to the wrong grandfather. Derek revealed that Piper and Austin were a couple once. They dated for four years and broke up six months ago. Tim and Amanda won alone time by hitting on RealDolls (don't ask) and when Eleanor was upset about this, because she's not had any alone time yet, Austin tried to comfort her by bringing out the coupon book she gave him. Except for the part where he used one of the coupons with Cammy. Dumbass. On Tim and Amanda's alone time, Austin and Piper fought and then were talked into staying on the show. Everett the frog died, probably killed by the falcon. Tim was annoyed that everyone was so upset about it. At the Pearl Necklace Elimination ceremony, Eleanor realized Austin is a douche and told him to shove his locket up his ass and she quit. (click for more)

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 6

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: the producers decided Ingrid should pull a Jonny Fairplay and announced her grandfather had died, then used this to take Eleanor's alone time away from her. Which was sad. Bryce got an airplane to run a banner over the mansion asking for forgiveness, which Tim felt was super creepy but Piper felt bad for eliminating Bryce. There was a set of really dumb games vs. the models, where basically everything was sexual and the models “won” trips to Mexico. Austin's parents arrived, played by the same actors that played Piper's parents, only this time Mom was strict and somber and Dad was a party person. They also had the same challenge as the men, which was to do ridiculous sexual tasks or have “secrets” revealed. Everyone did it, except Cammy, so we could watch the horrible low-budget piece of shit that is “Porked and Beans”. Because you can't mention a fetish porn video without actually having a video. Then Ingrid was sent home because Austin called her house and her grandfather answered. Amanda told Austin her mom's dad lives with them, and it was her dad's dad who died. Oops. (click for more)

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 5

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: Since Ingrid was too suspicious for this show and figured out it was all fake, the producers let her in on the secret and offered her the chance to join the cast. If she can make it to the end she can win $100,000. So she accepted and they brought in Amanda so they could go back to having one girl and one guy schmo. After that, there were sausages, a cameo from Matt Kennedy Gould, and Piper's parents. The men had a weird contest to do inappropriate things or “secrets” would be revealed. In the end Piper's parents gave Gerald immunity and Bryce was kicked out. Not before he was creepy one last time though. (click for more)

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 4

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 3

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: the solution to Ingrid being suspicious was to have the “bitch” of the house take her aside and tell her to quit ruining it for everyone else. Not a terrible strategy, as it seems to work. Austin flirted with Cammy a lot, giving Eleanor a chance to live up to her nickname of “The Weeper”. She got very upset with Austin but he still picked Cammy for grape stomping because Austin is actually not so great. Tim continued to hate Bryce. Ernie took off his shirt, and since he's a big guy Piper was disgusted and sent him home first. (click for more)

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 2

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: we met our schmos, Ingrid and Tim, who are supposedly trying to look for love on a dating show. The first eliminations were all minority people, because dating shows are full of white people. Later there were gifts, drinking, stripping, and a hot tub date. Ingrid and Tim are cool people but not the overwhelmingly awesome person Matt was last season. I don't care because they're still great. The “Pearl Necklace” eviction ceremony sent Rita the drunk home. However, during the ceremony the women were all asked to plead their case to Austin. Everyone had rehearsed speeches, of course, except Ingrid. And she noticed. (click for more)

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 1

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: the first season of the show was an interesting experiment. Matt was a great schmo, because he was an all-around great guy and everyone really liked him. He stood up for people and was nice to everyone. He also really deserved his prizes. (click for more)

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