Project Runway 8/30/12--"Oh My Lord and Taylor" summary

Previously on Project Runway: the “real women” challenge produced mixed results. There’s always one designer who can’t handle designing for non-models, and this season that is Ven. However, he’s much more of an asshat than anyone has ever been, talking about how it was unfair he got the fat girl and going on and on about how none of the belts fit her. And then getting on Twitter and complaining they gave him a fat girl on purpose. They probably did. I would bet they gave one to Gunnar too but he instantly went into Carson Kressley mode and was fine. Fabio won, and his dress was cute, and Nathan made the dress his client wanted so he lost. That is how it always works too.

P.S. whoever is spamming me with comments about the Hopper, or whatever DVR thing it is, I guess good for you that you watch the shows (or your bot is good enough to make coherent sentences), but please go away.

              

Chris is sad Nathan’s gone, but also hopes that he’ll be in an apartment by himself soon. Sonjia declares that men design clothes they want to see women in, while women design clothes that women WANT to wear. But then how do you account for gay male designers?

             

Heidi comes out and gives Chris shit for having dark circles under his eyes. She totally calls him out, it’s hilarious. Field trip to Fifth Avenue! They go to Lord & Taylor, which is a department store if you do not have them. West coast doesn’t have those. They’re kind of inbetween Macy’s and Nordstrom, in terms of style and cost and so forth. Tim introduces them to the president and they show off nine mannequins. Each one has a look that has been designed from a previous Project Runway designer, one from each season. They seem nice, all dresses. Jay is in there, as is Mondo, Nick, Bert. The challenge is to make a dress to go with this capsule collection, because the winning design will become part of the collection, to be sold in stores. That is a damn good prize. Plus they’ll put the dress in the window of the flagship store. It’s a good prize for the previous designers too. The Lord & Taylor customer is fashionable and has good taste. Heh. The dress has to have a retail price between $200 and $300. Oh, weird, Uli’s dress is short and brown and tailored. Huh. Tim points out to them that these dresses are simple, so they can be mass produced easily. One day, but no budget. The manufacturer is providing them with the fabrics and notions.

             

Gunnar says everything has a “classy edge” and that is right up his alley. He’s not copying Jay, exactly, but he’s matching that one. Chris wants to stand out with a gown. Never has he resembled Michael Costello more. In confessional he’s all “I’m going to make the best gown ever! …I sound like a tool.” Heh. Dmitry thinks no one can make a dress that doesn’t hide behind ruffles. Elena wants clean and sleek but with texture. Sonjia seems to be kind of lost. Chris talks some more about how great he is.

            

 There are bolts of fabric all over the lounge in Parsons. Chris is shredding fabric, like he’s done before. Fabio makes a frowny noise. Melissa had wanted to use fabric no one else was using. It seems as though she gives some black to Ven. Elena says she’s having trouble making Lord & Taylor clothes, and her brain doesn’t work like this. She’s on simmer right now.

            

 Everyone talks about how great it would be to win this challenge. Gunnar is still talking about what he’s doing, and Chris is bragging that he’s making such a pretty gown and it’s awesome. Sonjia’s poor performance the last challenge is screwing with her brain and she’s worrying about everything. Alicia is excited about her low waist, even though she doesn’t think the judges will like it. Sonjia talks to herself: “OK, Sonjia, you gotta stay in the game, knock one of these guys out first OH HEY DMITRY.” Hee. Ven claims to be thinking about the customers. I think he’s making a rose top again. Elena makes a weird announcement at Gunnar that the last few challenges seem to have been written for him. Huh? I think we’re at a full boil, folks. She says the judges don’t understand her because she hasn’t been in the top and it’s annoying. She and Gunnar talk about editing and how she doesn’t want to edit herself down too much. Melissa says she wanted a hardware store challenge. Nice. Sonjia thinks the men are all making girly clothes. Ven says men are stronger designers, and women are more practical. Shut up, Ven. Chris is doing the shredding thing again but magically it’s going to be different this time?

           

Tim time! He loves Gunnar’s dress. He’s putting pieces of sequined fabric and freaking Tim out. I’m not sure. Alicia has a box pleat right in front of the skirt. Tim says “Joan of Arc”, which Alicia takes as a complement. Sonjia admits she’s in a funk. Tim: “If you’re trying to channel those judges, you’ll work yourself into a psychotic breakdown.” Ha! Fabio wants a visible zipper…ugh. Elena has some cut-outs? There’s an open back and then cut-outs. Tim warns her that it’s too expensive to produce. Elena breaks down and says she designs upscale garments that aren’t mass market. Tim says to think about a bridge line and translate her designs down. He really does not react to her tears. Elena interviews that it took her a very long time to make herself how she is now and you can’t compare her stuff to anything you’ve seen before and how can she always be in the bottom and unnoticed? What? Take a deep breath. Out in the hallway Elena cries to Gunnar that she can’t take her designs down any further because they already suck. Gunnar tries to cheer her up which seems slightly successful. Ven has a rose again. Everyone says mean things. Dmitry has vertical strips and gets a good review. Chris has light dusty rose and black, which I don’t think go together as well as he thinks. How are they going to produce the shredding effect? Tim brings up a good point. Melissa has a stand-up collar, but her fabric will show every seam. She may have to pick out a new fabric, but she doesn’t want to use black and the colors are all silk, so they won’t stand up.

             

Melissa doesn’t know what to do, because she thinks everyone is wearing black and she wants to stand out. Gunnar tells Fabio he wants to make him a dress. OK. Model fitting. Melissa’s model loves the fabric, so she’s going to go with it. Gunnar is thrilled, as is Fabio. Alicia still doesn’t care if no one likes her dress. Melissa is discovering her dress doesn’t sit right, so she’s going to have to make a new one. She’s freaking out, but more quietly than Elena’s usual freakouts.

             

At the apartments the girls don’t seem very happy about anything. Melissa looks terrible, poor thing.

            

 Fabio is wearing a crown of flowers. Really. Tim notes how quiet the room is, gives them two hours, and points out the accessory wall is important. Gunnar brags that he’s done. Elena has put a weird racerback vest or something on her dress. Chris is like “Who puts a harness on a babydoll dress? I don’t get it. I don’t want to get it…I don’t like her.” Sonjia and Melissa are both freaking out now. For real, Fabio has a flower crown, a white T-shirt, and high-waisted pleated gray harem pants. Hot makeup guy. Tim comes in with the 10 minute warning and people are still not done. Sonjia is in tears and completely loses it. Like, her model is having a hard time getting the dress on and she is head in hands on the workbench sobbing. As Tim is gathering them, Sonjia and Melissa are sewing and cutting hems, respectively. Tim actually takes Sonjia aside and says she looks good and it’s all right and it’ll be fine. Aww.

             

Guest judge is Bonnie Brooks, president of Lord & Taylor. Fabio: black dress with asymmetrical hem, almost a fishtail. Sleeveless. High neck. Are there details? I can’t tell. It’s nice though. Except for the exposed zipper, forgot about that. Melissa: tight sheath in bronze brocade, with a mullet hem and a tall collar. The top of the dress stands up and covers her chest. Maybe it’s a fishtail hem and not a full mullet, it seems asymmetrical too. Her model is walking very carefully. Gunnar: short black dress, covered in sequins, with a strapless neckline that is then covered with black lace to make a crew neck top with short sleeves. It’s cute. Elena: black pleather, or at least shiny fabric, with a full skirt. The top is a basic sleeveless boatneck, but then there is a vertical piece that goes over her chest and around the back? Like a vest but one piece in the front. I don’t know. Chris: long black skirt and short-sleeved pink top. The top is supposed to have a shredded effect but it just looks vaguely striped, and it’s pretty close to her skin color. There is a raggedy keyhole in the back. Alicia: black dress with a box pleat in front and a stand up collar. The inside of the pleat is shiny. The back doesn’t match up though. Sonjia: black tank dress with a gray peplum. The hem doesn’t look quite done, although it doesn’t look horrible. But it looks bad enough that you would take a closer look, which isn’t good. Ven: black sheath dress with a rose on the bodice. Dmitry: gray sheath dress with vertical seams. It looks great and I like the seams. They’re unusual and I bet everyone will think they’re slimming.

             

Ven, Dmitry, and Sonjia are safe. Aww, Dmitry is safe? Lame. Sonjia is thrilled, while Dmitry is pissed. I agree. Ven reveals that he doesn’t know Gunnar’s name yet. Shut up Ven. Fabio put a stretch tulle over his dress, so there are two layers. They do like it, and Kors praises the asymmetric hem but not the zipper. Everyone talks about how great it is, which…it’s a black dress with a diagonal hem. It’s nice, don’t get me wrong. But it’s not setting the world on fire. Chris talks about “his” texture and whatever. They like his dress too, which is lame. Kors knows it depends heavily on the wearer’s skin tone. Also, quit doing your stupid shredded thing, because we’re bored. They basically say that. Nina says it won’t work on everyone, but would be a nice addition to the collection. Then Melissa was in the top too! Kors likes the neckline, but her asymmetric hem is too asymmetrical? Whatever, Kors. The neckline is great and surprising and the fabric works. Gunnar talks about matte sequins and his voice is a little quavery. I think he knows he’s in the bottom. And he is. They’re bored and Nina’s seen the dress, although I’ll argue a black dress with an asymmetric hem has been seen too. Kors says he can push himself much further. It’s a little stiff and unforgiving.

Elena wanted simple and elegant. She’s in the top, which is nice and she starts crying. Heidi harasses her about it, and she says that she struggled with the challenge and with the competition and that she doesn’t make dresses like this and so forth. It’s a saleable dress, and it’s girly but with an edge and the back is great. All the judges praise her and her balance between something they can sell and her aesthetic and whatever. Alicia’s dress has a much lower waist than I thought. She’s in the bottom. She also says she can’t do a feminine dress, but then Heidi jumps on her and is like “Can’t you do anything we ask of you? Can’t you make something pretty?” Shut up, Heidi. It looks too mature and the drop waist is dowdy. Kors says “field hockey uniform” and then “Amish” because it’s not cut down to her breastbone.

 

Elena crows about being on the top while Gunnar and Alicia look pissed. Gunnar claims he can’t talk about it, he’s so angry. He says Heidi wanted to wear it (she might, I just don’t remember that part) but they’d seen it before. Chris’s looks expensive and is different. It would sell, not a ton, but it would sell. Nina says taste counts. Fabio’s dress can be worn by many different women and is versatile. Heidi is bored though. Last I looked, you aren’t the only one there, HEIDI. Melissa’s is dramatic but wearable. Sadly it’s probably the toughest to sell. Nina pretends to care that Elena was so surprised they liked her. Not that Nina is horrible, but I just don’t think she is moved by designers wanting to be liked. But it’s not a dress for an older woman. Everyone was bored by Gunnar’s dress. It’s nice enough, but no one will remember it. Heidi is offended that Alicia “can’t” make anything sexy. Nina liked the collar, but no one seems to like the rest of the dress.

Chris is the winner. WHAT?! That dress is a T-shirt and maxi skirt. Fabio is in. Elena is in. Melissa is in. Alicia is in. WHAT. That is not what I expected. At all. Then Heidi says Gunnar is in too, WHICH IS STUPID. Apparently no one sucked so bad they wanted to get rid of them. I guess they’re trying to get back on schedule after people quit. Gunnar lets them think he’s out for like, 30 seconds. Tim gets to come in and not send anyone to the workroom. Gunnar would have loved to have someone go home, but knowing he would have been that one, he's cool. 

Next week: teams of three. SIGH. It might be “clothes off your back”. Or possibly begging for money for fabric. Elena and Alicia get into it. Then Dmitry and Elena get into it. Kors sighs like he’s not loving every minute.