Monday, August 13, 2012

Hell's Kitchen 8/13/12--"6 Chefs Compete" summary

Previously on “Hell’s Kitchen”: I know it was a while ago, but there was a ton of bickering and Brian was sent home, which was sad. Everyone failed the first challenge but the girls did mostly well in dinner service. Also apparently we have to showcase Ramsey’s new show, so only one episode of Hell’s Kitchen a week until it’s over. On the one hand, I only have to deal with this show once a week. On the other hand, it just drags out this circus forever.
Everyone goes back to the dorms to party and find some free knives. I don’t know that I would give this group good sharp knives. Robyn and Dana dance around. Justin gets serious.
 Ramsey presents Ludo Lefebvre and Quinn Hatfield. Hee, Ludo and his cute French accent. There are three dishes: first up is Ludo’s caprese salad with red bell peppers and feta cheese mousse instead of tomatoes and mozzarella. Barbie thinks there is hazelnut. No. Chefs guess various things but no one gets anything right. Quinn has “seafood pasta” with salsify and not actually pasta. No one gets that either. Ramsey says now they will taste his dish, and then make it. Hopefully there are stupid twists in this one too. Working in pairs for no reason! Also no one let Ludo talk! Although Ramsey pairs them up: Clemenza and Dana, Justin and Barbie, and Christina and Robyn.
 30 minutes. Under the dome is the dish, but they don’t say what it is. Everyone is going with veal, wrapped in Serrano ham. Well, Dana and Clemenza think it might be prosciutto. Dana yells about how the two of them eat prosciutto all the time. She is always yelling in confessional. It’s getting old. The puree is white bean puree, or at least they all think so. Everyone puts bacon in it, but Clemenza thinks it is horseradish? There is wine in the sauce, and everyone puts port except for Clemenza and Dana, who put Madeira. Well at least they’re going for it.
 Dana and Clemenza have decent presentation, and Ramsey doesn’t spit it out, and Dana yells some more. Shush. Justin and Barbie get their presentation pretty close. Barbie talks about how she figured out the whole dish, basically, and sounds smug and annoying. Robyn and Christina have a delicious dish also. The dish was veal wrapped in prosciutto. So Dana and Clemenza are doing well. Barbie sits in confessional looking confused and says “Isn’t Serrano ham the prosciutto of Spain?” Hee. That is fairly entertaining to me for some reason. The puree is white bean with bacon, and the sauce is made with Madeira. Nice. Dana and Clemenza get to go to a lake and have a picnic and jet ski. It’s not clear if they get to keep the jet ski. OH MY GOD DANA SHUT THE HELL UP. You are miked and do not need to yell ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Losers set all the tables and iron the linens and polish the flatware.
The jet skis look fun but sadly no one wipes out. Oh, you were waiting for it too. Dana and Clemenza get to the picnic and we discover Dana’s top is about half a size too small. Clemenza is appreciative. Justin says ironing is “degrading” and refuses to learn. I’ll give him that he is still working. He gets stuck ironing shirts, which is stupid because shirts are a pain in the ass to iron. You should give him napkins. They’re small and you don’t have to crease anything, just iron them flat.
Everyone preps for dinner service together. Ramsey makes them go over to the bar, which we never see. Ramsey then drops the bomb that tonight they’ll be competing against another team, this team being composed exclusively of second place finishers. Awesome. Russell from Season 8 says in flashback he is blackballing his team because they suck ass. Hee. Christina says she remembers him and she is excited to destroy him. Dana yells about the guy from season 7. Whatever, Dana. Basically it’s the second place finishers from seasons 2, 3, and 5-8. Season 3 is Bonnie, which I find hysterical because she was fairly useless and someone basically accused Ramsey of keeping her around to try to get in her pants. No one thought she could cook. Justin trash talks, which just makes him look dumb.
Team First Loser (hey, second place is the first loser and I can call them whatever I want) interviews about how pumped they are and whatever. Ramsey didn’t say anything about what happens if they “win” or anything. Russell looks like the kid that plays Dumbledore in “A Very Potter Musical”. Go watch it on YouTube. I think we can all agree this show would be much improved by a musical number entitled “Fucking Scallops”. This season’s contestants are very confident.
 Team First Loser is far superior, at least in terms of not screwing up the first ticket. Robyn says this will be an easy service, but then she doesn’t put enough dressing on the salad. Ramsey says it’s too late in the game to have to redo salads. Team First Loser is getting far ahead, and then Clemenza is making spaghetti with no order for it. Somehow it’s Robyn’s fault? Or Robyn is also making spaghetti for no reason. TFL gloats that they are not currently getting yelled at. Somehow the current contestants get to entrees, with Barbie yelling times. Robyn asks where they need help, and Barbie tells her not to touch anything.
 One of TFL serves up bass with too much black pepper. I guess they are capable of screwing up. The announcer credits Barbie for keeping things together, but it might be because she’s really bossy. She just bugs me. Ramsey asks for times on things, and Barbie tries to call out times for stations she’s not on. Every time someone says a longer time she gives them a stupid look. Hey, they’ll get into worse trouble if they aren’t ready when they say they’ll be ready, so at least they’re being honest. Barbie claims fish don’t need that long to cook and therefore everyone is stupid. Dana is taking too long with the fish, and Ramsey points out that she is taking too long, and that Robyn and Clemenza are not doing anything. Dana interviews that both of them suck and she doesn’t want them to help her. Clemenza is set to cooking scallops, which he fails. Clemenza gets yelled at, and then Dana gets yelled at because she is responsible for people cooking on her station? Dana turns to Robyn. Russell is calling the women in the kitchen “sweetheart” which he claims is because he is a gentleman. Sigh. Robyn has seasoned the scallops too early, and she doesn’t think it’s her fault because Dana likes to finish her own dishes. But Christina is still four minutes away from being done. Robyn gets loud to Ramsey and he shuts that down. Robyn then says there are too many people and Ramsey is all “You’re right! Dana! Come here!” and they leave the kitchen. Ramsey tells her that she’s responsible for her own station, so she heeds to speak up. Dana basically tells Robyn she knows what she’s doing, talks over her, and gets her station back together. Both teams end up finishing service for once.
 TFL wins. Too bad. They get nothing. Current contestants have to nominate two people for elimination. Dana says her station was fine until she got behind and then her “help” screwed her. Robyn continues to insist the scallops were not her fault because she put them in a pan and left without actually cooking them. Christina is not having it. Barbie has decided that blaming someone helping you is an “error in judgment” and Dana should go up. However at the same time, Barbie says that Robyn doesn’t finish what she starts and so she can get blamed for that. Everyone starts yelling at Robyn, who accuses everyone of not wanting her around. Barbie and Christina seem shocked, which is stupid. My favorite reaction is from Justin, who is eating a popsicle and just shrugs when Robyn points at him, all “…yeah, that’s true.”
Robyn is nominated for being everywhere and not accomplishing anything. Also nominated is Clemenza, for screwing up the scallops. Robyn and Clemenza have been nominated a million times. Robyn insists she is all about the team and no one will let her help. Dana should be up there. Clemenza has been nominated six times. Wow. He is safe again. AGAIN? Well, that means Robyn is out, so that’s fine. Robyn thought she was going to win, she says she has won more challenges than everyone, it was “catty”. As if she didn’t contribute to all the stupid bullshit. She thinks she’s better than everyone left. Clemenza is still talking, but Ramsey just says he doesn’t see him in Vegas. Supposedly this will encourage Clemenza to step it up.
 Next time: everyone is glad Robyn’s gone, Ramsey brings someone back? Barbie has some stupid plan, at least I’m sure it’s stupid, Clemenza is involved somehow.


Anonymous said...

Yes! Dana's yelling gets so old!

Anonymous said...

i can't stand Dana yelling. i think i seized out.