Thursday, March 3, 2016

Project Runway All Stars 3/3/16--"Fashion 911" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: designers were paired up to create red carpet looks for Little Big Town for the Academy of Country Music Awards. The venue is important in red carpet challenges because the same thing that you could sort of get behind for MTV is way too tacky for the Golden Globes and so forth. Plus we are talking about two members of the same group so they have to mostly coordinate. The “make the two looks opposites of each other” is dumb but it's Project Runway so what are you going to do? Asha and Alexander made the only two items that went together AND were appropriate so they won. Mitchell made a horrible gathered and draped pink skirt and Daniel Franco put his model in her underwear and then wrapped her in lace, basically. They were both terrible and I don't know why they didn't eliminate both of them but in the end they only eliminated Daniel Franco. Probably because Mitchell hasn't caused enough drama yet. (click for more)

Everyone is at a fire station. Several people hope they are dressing firemen. Nice. Alyssa rolls up in an ambulance with the siren running, which I feel like may be slightly illegal? Anyway, the policeman and fireman are hot so Ken makes my comments for me. (The EMT is a woman but no one says anything about her). It's the unconventional materials challenge! You know how it works. These looks must be “high-end” and use whatever they can grab in five minutes from the pile of police/fire/EMT themed crap the producers found.

Everyone shoves each other and steals things. Mitchell takes bottles of pills. Ken is just grabbing everything he can get his hands on without thinking of what he could do with them. We all pretend everyone has to carry their duffles back to the workroom but you know they walked off screen and got in a van.

10 hours to work. Sam puts on some scrubs and says his parents' dream has come true! He's a doctor! Hee. Mitchell says “no, you're a little nurse” because he is a petty child. Kini reminds us he made most of Sam's look last week so it's possible he won't get it together this week. Stella doesn't sketch because this is basically going to be an art project. Tubes. Hoses. Valerie I think is sewing cotton balls? I never know what people are doing and then suddenly there are clothes. Plus half the time they scrap their first idea. Asha and Alexander are glad to be on the top. Sam won the unconventional materials challenge on his “season”. Both he and Ken have firehose but Ken interviews that he is not concerned because they have different styles. When he cuts the hose open he finds the inside looks like patent leather so he's thrilled. Alexander has many different colors of bandages, which he's sticking on muslin with hot glue instead of sewing. I guess they're sticky so you can't put them straight on skin?

Stella has a bunch of hoses or something, currently not enough to cover anyone. Asha and Ken eat and shittalk about how crazy she is. Stella also hammers on the floor and makes noise. Mitchell has used what looks like a silver shock blanket, pink fabric and silver stars to make a skirt. It looks so tacky. He says he's going big, even though Sam says his model is going to cook like a baked potato. Hee.

Zanna Time! Layana has all blue...something...which may look like a smurf. Ken is using the black from the hose and it actually looks pretty good. Valerie is making a skirt from cotton swabs, the kind on the long wooden dowels. She's making a chevron pattern in her skirt, fastening them to the muslin I guess. It makes a cool pattern. Mitchell interviews that she's so boring and not transforming the materials and maybe she should use them to clean out her ears and listen to the instructions. Bitch please. She's doing far better than you and all your tacky shit. Zanna tells Valerie not to be too crafty. Zanna hates Stella's “coat” of tubes. It's just like, hoops wrapped around the dress form. Asha is also using the same pink and beige that Valerie has, but she's aware and is trying to fix it. Mitchell gets slammed for his crap, because the “stars” are really those plastic sheriff badges you give to kids, and they seem to be tied to long pink fringe. Dom cut up X-rays into strips to make a textile which seems really cool. Kini made a big skirt with loops? Tabs of fabric? I'm not sure. Sam has no time for sleeves because he currently doesn't even have a full dress. Alexander is putting a glove on her boob? I don't know what he is talking about and Zanna is kind of creeped out.

Stella has to start over and give up her tube coat with three hours left. Model fitting. Dom is cautiously excited but she only has a top. Stella is just going to make the dress she was going to put on under her coat. Alexander cuts his skirt short. Valerie can't try on the skirt because it's too fragile. Asha doesn't know what to do with her skirt, and is grabbing yellow for some reason. Ken tells her to make a pencil skirt and it will be more “fashion”. Stella doesn't start her skirt until she has an hour left and then discovers how annoying the bandages are. I feel like everyone had a super idea for the bodice of their look and then ran into trouble with the skirt.

Runway day. Stella grabs a bunch of X-rays. Alexander's dress fits really well, as does Dom's. Hot makeup guy Scott. Sam...has not made a dress. What? Like, he made a big coat and didn't make anything to go under it until he threw something together in half an hour. Well, I guess you're not supposed to see it. Stella is literally wrapping bandages around her model.

Guest judge is Johnny Wujek, who is Katy Perry's creative designer. Emily: white sheath dress, sleeveless, with a high neck. It's got strips of X-rays on it, but not all over. Just here and there in pairs to make an abstract linear print. Then a thick black belt (probably more X-rays) and black squares at the shoulders. There's a cowl in the back. Mitchell: pink dress with no sleeves and a deep V down to her navel. The skirt has a ton of fringe and there are silver stars around and down one shoulder, across her front, then tied in all the fringe and dangling everywhere. It is ridiculous. The fringe is catheters, so rubber hoses, which bounce a lot. Sigh. Layana: a top and hot pants in a dark blue (bandages I think). The shorts look pretty good, and the top has cap sleeves and a peplum. There is some flesh-toned stuff in the top, so the blue makes an interesting pattern, like a crop top. Asha: sheath dress, with a high neck and a miniskirt. The top is trying to match her skin, with black and pink stripes randomly over it. Some of the pink stripes are doing that criss-cross thing she likes to do. The skirt is just pink gauze or bandages or whatever and has a tulip shape. Or at least a wrap shape so one leg is exposed.

Kini: cocktail dress made out of gloves. He attached each one individually so they create a lot of volume and movement and look like loops of fabric. The dress itself is a simple halter top with a V and no sleeves, and a knee-length full skirt. It starts with blue and goes to purple and then black. Sam: knee-length coat made out of a firehose, with the white part facing out. There's writing on the hose part which says whatever hoses say on them. The coat has big lapels and shoulders, and the sleeves are elbow length and huge. Like giant shoulder pads. There are panels of the black here and there like colorblocking. It's a little shapeless. Plus she never opens the coat. Dom: black and white dress, with the black strips of X-rays cut very thin and put all over to make a zebra print. The dress has a high neck and long sleeves, and hits at the knee. Over this is a bright red coat with full elbow-length sleeves, all cut like a kimono, with a matching belt. It's very striking and looks like a ton of work. Alexander: short tight dress with a V neck and thick straps, and a very short skirt. The pattern looks like flames, or feathers, with the different colors blending into each other.

Valerie: V-neck sleeveless top with pink chevrons, and a sheer plastic strip down the middle of her chest. Then the skirt is a full knee-length skirt in muslin with the cotton swabs attached over each hip. She is nowhere near covering the skirt in cotton swabs, because they only come about halfway down and are not nearly thick enough to hide the muslin. And they're so stiff they look like panniers. Stella: light yellow crop top with short sleeves, with X-ray cut-outs on it. She at least made the cut-outs look like a skyline. The skirt is just a bandage skirt, like she wrapped bandages around the model, which is probably what she did. There are cut-outs on the back too. Ken: black dress that is kind of shiny. The skirt is full and hits just below the knee, and the bodice is a halter top with no sleeves, the kind that is topped with a collar. The bodice seems really baggy, like it doesn't fit right, but the skirt looks great. You can see the individual hose strips.

Kini, Dom, Emily, Layana, and Mitchell are safe. Are you fucking kidding me. Dom was safe? Kini was safe? Mitchell and his tacky bullshit are safe? Fine. Ken talks about the firehoses. Isaac falls over himself about how the skirt length is “the freshest” and the white part of the hose peeking out as lining is “naughty” or something. They all love it. Asha's skirt is actually not a tulip or wrap skirt but a pencil skirt that she cut a triangle out of. Also there are a couple pills on it. Everyone is just bored. Alexander just didn't push it, says Georgina. I think he made a decent dress but it's not as good as it could be. Stella made the skyline, and everyone sort of likes it except Isaac. Stella explains about the tube coat, and Georgina tells her she should have shown them the coat if she liked it so much. Really? No, you would have told her she was crazy. Don't front, Georgina. Valerie reveals that the skirt is not muslin but paper towels, so not as half-finished as I thought. Also the belt is a stethoscope. It's flattering but also lovely and unconventional. Georgina tells Sam that he's shown restraint and it's chic and blah blah. Fine. At least Isaac tells him the waist is weird. But then that leads him to open up the coat so they can see there's a dress sunder it. For some reason Alyssa tells Sam she also likes his flirting, which leads him to preen and flirt with the guest judge, who just kind of rolls his eyes and says “yeah you're a flirt” while Isaac yells “Get a room!” Ha!

Valerie's dress was clever, but Isaac wasn't excited enough. Ken's bodice wasn't great, but if it was fixed even Georgina would wear it. Sam's coat reminded people of couture? Plus then the shitty dress he made in half an hour apparently is also wonderful. Stella's look was mall clothes, and they're still pretending they want to see the tube coat. Although I can get behind the idea that she should never have told them about the coat. Alexander made his material look like suede but it looked too short, like he screwed it up. Asha's dress was also boring, if perfectly acceptable.

Valerie is in. The winner is Sam. Sigh. I know he's cute but is he really that great? Alexander is safe. Stella has to trust her instincts. Asha didn't push it far enough. Stella is out and Asha is in. Stella is disappointed but also kind of shrugging about it. She wasn't herself.

Next week: all naked people but somehow winter wear? I'm not sure how that's going to work? And Alexander being like “Well maybe we should all flirt with the judges” and Sam walking out of the Scrap Bin. Someone says that's a low blow but it's true.

1 comment:

Duabe said...

I agree with you, Toyouke, that Kini should have been in the top three. Using the gloves was clever and they looked kind of like flower petals.

Sam again?!? The coat was a mess - didn't look couture to me (but what do I know?) and the surprise dress underneath was not much of a surprise.

Next week naked models? Is this now Project Porn Stars? Sorry, losing interest.