Project Runway All Stars 3/10/16--"Birthday Suits" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: we had the usual “unconventional materials” challenge. You guys know how it works. Anyway, the judging was the usual shitshow, because Kini and Dom made really cool outfits and were safe, and Mitchell put hot pink medical tubing and sheriff's badges all over his model and he was safe too. Sam won with some dumb shapeless coat, which, fine. But then everyone wants to flirt with him which is terrible even if he's cute. No chill. Stella was eliminated for making boring mall clothes. I think boring clothes are better than fugly clothes, but I clearly am not in charge of anything. (click for more)

Alyssa brings out a bunch of naked people for some reason. Men and women, which I feel like is unfair. So many people hate menswear for whatever reason. Anyway, these are nudists so the designers will be making “fashionable winter wear”. Mitchell has never seen snow so he is grumpy about this. The button bag shows up and they give it to Sam? Then everyone draws model names “randomly”. Emily likes her client so I'm sure it's because she's the most model-like. Dom gets the old guy and she's super thrilled which is cute. Nudists? Naturists? I think it's supposed to be naturists.

Actually when you think about it, you are designing clothes for people who hate clothes so is this like designing for someone who was autistic and had problems with textures? Someone who is allergic to so many things they have trouble finding clothes to wear? Everyone talks about how great they are because they are ignoring all the nudity on display as they talk to their clients. No one is having any fights yet. Mood is Mood.

Sam complains that he doesn't want to do the challenge because it can't live up to last week. Whatever. Valerie usually takes 40 hours to make a coat. Mitchell I guess is still trying to claim living in Florida means he can't even understand the concept of a coat or winter. Layana asks Kini what he's making for Sam this week. Yeah he won last week without Kini? So your shade is not accurate anymore.

Zanna Time. Sam has a mustard/black plaid and a dark red sweater. Zanna says it's extreme but I guess not bad necessarily. Emily is planning a knee-length skirt to show some skin. Dom has an interesting striped coat that looks pretty good. Kini is making something out of denim, of course, but he has four pieces and too many things happening. Layana's coat is not warm enough. Valerie has four different fabrics, two of which are prints. So Ken's client said “androgynous” and Ken made a skirt? But he says it'll be fine? Mitchell has basic clothes which is not his usual thing.

3 hours left. Sam now hates his fabric, but it's not like he has any options. Model fitting. The models all have underwear on, which I find interesting. I guess to prevent chafing. Sam's model hates the coat, while Layana's model loves her outfit. Mitchell made a cute jacket and he's crowing about it because supposedly he's never made a jacket before. Sam ditches the coat and goes around begging for extra fabric from everyone. No one seems to be helping him. He at least knows he's in serious trouble.

Runway day. Sam is convinced he is going home. Alexander just laughs about it. Kini finally tries on the coat and it's not as loose as he and his client wanted it. Hot makeup guy Scott. It looks like Sam got rid of the coat so it's just a sweater and skirt. It looks better than that terrible print.

Guest judges are fashion blogger (sigh) Aimee Song and designer Naeem Khan. So for some reason they show the models walking out naked, and then cut to them in the clothes. Why do we need to see them naked? We've seen what they look like. It's not like the challenge involved making them look like they were naked in some way. Kini: black coat draped over her shoulders, with a black sleeveless top and full skirt. The top has a stand-up interesting collar, and the skirt is denim with big ivory buttons down the front. I guess the coat draped over her shoulders is how he got around that it was too tight? Asha: baggy pants that maybe have a dropped crotch, a top in a weird check print (it's black and white but looks like a solid dark red from far away) and a black vest. There is a matching scarf. It doesn't look any different from an outfit I could buy at the mall but it's not bad. The sleeves are rolled up though so it doesn't look super warm. Emily: blue dress with elbow-length sleeves and a short skirt. Over this is a long vest in a blue checked pattern which is really cool looking. There's a wide black belt and a turtleneck, and a cape-style back. There's a bunch of skin showing but it looks good. Alexander: dark pants and a sweater. It's all black but the sweater has a black and white mottled stripe print at the shoulders and cuffs. The neckline is a mock turtleneck with a tab, like it wraps around. Valerie: capri leggings in a black and white zebra kind of print, and a big gray coat with a chartreuse lining. The coat is very full at the bottom, with a sash, and the neckline is just a shawl neckline and a big hood. The sash plus fullness plus that neckline make it look like a big bathrobe. I don't mind the chartreuse as much as others do, though.

Mitchell: black pants and a jacket, and a gray and white striped sweater with a big cowl neck/scarf. It's not very exciting but from Mitchell it's super tasteful. Although I think the sweater might be slightly sparkly. The coat has big frog closures. Sam: long skirt in a striped print and a cropped sweater with a big cowl and long sleeves. Everything is in a dark rust red. It's not bad and is better than the coat. Ken: hoodie and pleated skirt in white. Interesting but mostly because it's on a man. Layana: pants and a sweater, and a motorcycle jacket in red. The pants look tapered and actually as she walks, this might be a jumpsuit. The jacket has a strip of leather down the arms. It's weird because there is a definite line at her waist but it appears to be the same print, just in a different shade. The leather on the jacket has a cool chevron detail on the sleeves. Dom: slim black pants and a jacket in black with a bunch of pieces of black and gray stripes over the shoulders and chest. I can't tell how the lapels are or what is the jacket and what is the shirt because it's all pieces of this print. Never mind, he tears the jacket open to reveal a sweater in gray camo. Hee. It was a funny move.

Ken, Asha, Layana, and Alexander are safe. Emily says her short skirt is “California winter”. It's cute and she looks comfortable. The cape is playful and the color is great. Sam says something about “deconstructed urban aesthetic”. It's boring and she probably already has these clothes. Which is saying something. The front of the skirt is much longer than the back, and Sam admits this is because he cut them to the same length, neglecting to allow for her to have a butt. Sigh. Mitchell finally made something the judges like because it's not super tacky. Georgina says it has just a touch of Mitchell's personality which is plenty. The coat when closed has a really deep V opening but they like it. Valerie's client wanted a cozy blanket. She says she's comfortable but Isaac doesn't believe it. The coat has way too much volume and looks like a housecoat. Kini's top actually has a bow or sash or something. Georgina is really bothered by the fact that the coat is sitting on her shoulders, and guesses correctly it's there because it doesn't fit properly so can't be worn properly. Georgina wishes it fit properly, but Isaac doesn't like the coat at all. Disagreement. Dom's coat is supposed to be a modern pea coat. The sweater looks very expensive and her client clearly loves it. Then Alyssa is like “Let's clarify!” and says Valerie and Sam are the only low scores this week. So Kini was in the top? OK.

Back in the Scrap Bin Valerie is pretty upset. Alyssa claims they are celebrating body image or whatever, because not everyone was built like a model. Fine. Dom made a clever fabric choice, but it was maybe too literal. Great but not amazing. The judges also can't agree on Kini, although they at least agree the coat is the problem. Emily made something wearable but still took a risk. Mitchell made the most complete outfit? I feel like they might be grading Mitchell on a curve. Sam's outfit was a big nothing and the colors were not the greatest. Valerie overdesigned the coat and there were too many things going on. Alyssa brings up that the challenge said to make their clients confident, and both Sam and Valerie actually did that.

Dom and Kini are in. The winner is Emily. Mitchell is in. She's pretty excited. Sam didn't live up to everyone's expectations. Valerie had too much fabric and stuff. ANOTHER NON-ELIMINATION. Are you fucking kidding me. If you wanted the season to last longer just cast some more fucking designers. Anyway, they go back to the Scrap Bin and tell everyone, and no one is happy. I mean, I'm not happy either. So Sam is talking about how his clothes weren't up to par, and Valerie says the judges felt they were both good designers, and then Alexander pipes up with “Well so was Stella and SHE didn't get a second chance” and Emily says “Fade didn't get another chance either”. Which are both good points because this is some bullshit. Sam insists he's not ungrateful for the opportunity and someone says he sounded like he was. What? He was telling you how his garment wasn't “All-Stars” quality. So it sounds like someone admitting he fucked up. Unless you think he was trying to say “So this garment wasn't up to snuff but it's just this one”, in which case maybe let him finish saying that instead of interrupting. Oh, it's Mitchell. Of course. Sam's just like, OK. And then Alexander is all “Maybe we should just all flirt with the judges then” which is a low blow but also true. Right? You were thinking that too, right? Sam is like, I need to go to the bathroom and he leaves. What about “this industry will chew you up and spit you out and you need to be able to take it”!? Don't tell others to take it and then be upset when they dish it back to you. Someone says that was a low blow but Alexander literally says “No it wasn't.” It was, which doesn't make it untrue. Ken is like “Someone should have gone home” which is not a nice thing when Valerie is still there. See what happens when the judges refuse to do their fucking jobs? Sam interviews that maybe he should have gone home, but it's not for Mitchell to tell him what he (Sam) is feeling. Also that it's not anyone's place to say he's there because he flirts with the judges, except he totally does and someone can state their opinion on that. Then Sam tries to be threatening and talk about how he's going to beat everyone or whatever. I don't think so, but you can think that.

Next week: Medieval Times, costumes, people are still talking shit about Sam.