Project Runway All Stars 3/17/16--"Going for Baroque" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: the designers were asked to design winter outfits for naturalists. To be fair, the task “design clothing for people who normally do not wear clothing” is an interesting challenge. So you know this show didn't explore any of those ideas. Mitchell got a high score because his clothing was not super tacky and “boring” is a success for him. Valerie made a big bathrobe and Sam a boring maxi skirt and sweater. Both clients liked the outfits, which I guess is something. Then the judges decided not to eliminate anyone which is some bullshit, and then no one was happy about it (obviously) and Alexander said “Maybe we should all flirt with the judges” which is cold but also true. (click for more)

Everyone is at Medieval Times. Why? Who knows. Alyssa comes out on a horse because of reasons. She welcomes them to “the 15^th century”, which apparently is very fashionable right now. Sure. Baroque is known for complex patterns and intricacy. You must make a “couture-inspired gown that celebrates the ornate detailing and fantasy of Baroque fashion.” This description seems vague. I mean it's long and has a bunch of descriptive terms in it but you know they'll do whatever and the judges will ignore the challenge itself. HOWEVER they will actually get two days because couture. Twist alert in effect. While they sketch they have to stay at Medieval Times and watch the show. Mitchell has too many ideas but this challenge that might be OK. Just keep piling shit on there. Kini's using those upside-down pleats that look like an umbrella. You know, the ones he used on the rainway. Alexander says costumes are not fashion. They go to...Mood Home? What? Inside it looks the same but the exterior shot looked like it was on the ground floor and had a garage door in front to open the whole front of the store. Sam is looking for something that resembles the Sistine Chapel. Of course he finds nothing like that so he complains and just buys some lace.

6 hours until the end of the day. The first day, supposedly. Sam just starts draping because he has no design. Ken mentions he's never won a challenge so he'll probably win today. Valerie says on her season she stunk up the couture challenge and Nina questioned her taste level. Suddenly Ken is like “Sam should make a jumpsuit”. Sam laughs, and they discuss how he's made 8 jumpsuits, and Sam says it's impressive because there have only been 5 challenges, and right now Ken and Sam are laughing. Then someone else (probably Mitchell) is like “Well don't forget Kini made one of them.” SIGH. Asha says Kini is not happy with Sam, although I'm pretty sure Kini was not the one who said that. Right? Because he would have said “I made one of them.” Dom is giving suggestions to Sam and Kini interviews that Sam's going to take all the credit. Mitchell complains that Sam just bought expensive fabric and it's doing all the work. I'm pretty sure the judges can tell when that happens and also, you could have done the exact same thing. So just because you chose a design that was a ton of work doesn't mean you need to bitch to everyone constantly about someone else. PLUS your beef is with the fucking judges who won't eliminate anyone. But I wouldn't question them too loudly for fear they might wise up to your tacky ass.

Day two. Layana is creating a textile with layering and it looks nice. Alexander is cutting strips of sequins but he doesn't seem to have any problems with it being uneven or anything. Ken's gown looks like tree bark. I think it looks pretty, but that's what Mitchell calls it. Ken immediately accuses him of throwing shade (...ha) but Mitchell insists he is not being shady. Mitchell doesn't have the subtlety required for shade. Ken's making a cape too. Sam asks Dom for more advice and Ken interrupts them to ask if Dom is designing Sam's look. Oh my God, will you guys mind your own business. Go complain to the producers/judges if it upsets you so much. I don't think Sam should be getting so much help and pretending he did the work either, but I'm so tired of this story line and drama.

Zanna time. Ken's outfit is very heavy and costumey. Valerie has some corseting but it's not impressive enough. Dom needs more Baroque. Layana's textile looks like fractals. She wants to cut her garment really short, but she doesn't have a lot of fabric and the challenge said “gown.” Sam's lace is really beautiful and I guess Dom gave him both sleeve ideas and some technique on how to not have to line the gown in muslin. And he's telling this to Zanna like it's his idea. Come on, Sam. Zanna looks at Kini's umbrella skirt and says it's a lampshade. Asha is too costumey but she's not sure what she can do. Mitchell is in the middle of being yelled at for not being creative enough or whatever, when he says he's making greaves. Like shin guards. Not a gown but whatever.

The workroom is very somber now. Zanna didn't really like anyone's stuff that much. Model fitting. Alexander's gown fits but he says it needs something. Mitchell only has the bodice done. Everyone is freaking out and even Kini is not finished.

Runway Day. Lots of frantic working. Hot makeup guy Scott who has been informed of the dumb pun title of the challenge. Alexander loves his gown but it is not as ornate as others. He was afraid of costuming. Sam thinks he's done more hand-sewing than anyone else. Calm down fool. Mitchell's zipper is broken and when time is called he has no greaves and has to sew his model in.

Guest judges are model Coco Rocha and Georgina's Marchesa partner Keren Craig. This week's winner will be allowed to design a piece for an upcoming Marchesa collection. Sure. Valerie: bodice in dark blue with long sleeves and a deep V. It looks like there is some boning or other structure to the bodice. Right where the point of the V is, the skirt starts. Pleated in blue that's one shade lighter. It's fine but not really exciting. The back is open. Sam: halter bodice with a high collar and a long slim skirt with a train, all in floral lace. The lace has flowers cut out, like he cut around the patterns to make a 3D kind of effect. The lace is white with black outlines. I think there are some flaps on the sides of the skirt. From her neck, down the sides of the bodice are two strips of trim with seed pearls on it. On one side the lace design sticks out underneath and it looks sloppy. It's a very pretty fabric but yeah, the fabric is doing a lot of work. Dom: gold sequined bodice with a high neck and really full sleeves. Like each sleeve is as wide as her whole torso. The skirt is sheer. It's hard to tell if they're sleeves or just the sides of a cape. The gold is all in lines and has an art deco kind of pattern, over rose gold fabric. It's very striking. When the model turns around you can see it's not a cape but I guess two pieces of fabric attached at the shoulders and hanging down over her arms.

Mitchell: tight black dress with no sleeves and a boatneck, and a mullet skirt. It's pretty short in front and then there's train. The front has a geometric design in flesh colored sequins. She has booties on and they're terrible and she looks uncomfortable. Right where the front of the skirt ends are weird flaps, like he made a short dress and then attached the train but left some flaps on. At least the back is sewn up. Asha: dark red velvet skirt, long with a high slit and some fabric on her hip. Like a bustle except on the side instead of the back. The bodice is a basic red satin strapless sweetheart neckline with some gold embroidery. But not a lot. The back is corseted. Alexander: slim black gown with an off-the-shoulder neckline that has thin straps. The bodice is studded with pearls and it looks cheap somehow. Even though I'm sure he sewed all those on by hand. He's also got her wearing a bunch of long strands of pearls around her neck and draped down her back.

Kini: red satin with a crew neck and no sleeves, with gold embroidery down the sides. From just below her butt down to the floor are his weird pleats, which do look like a lampshade. They stick straight out instead of tapering to a point. But couture does play with silhouettes so that's something. I think the gold might be cut-out leaves from another fabric. Ken: long slim gown in a dark bronze sequined fabric. The sequins are in little lines and they do kind of look like tree bark. There are two dark stripes from the high neck down her front. And big kimono sleeves. Or is that the cape? Or is it like Dom's and just two big rectangles sewn to her shoulders? The “sleeves” are lined with the darker fabric. It fits really well. Emily: the bodice is illusion netting with carefully placed lace appliqued flowers. The flowers are along the crew neck and then over her boobs and down the sides. The lace/illusion netting ends weirdly low on her hips, and then the skirt is kind of full and really shiny. I'm not sure what fabric that is but it looks sort of cheap, for all that it moves well. Layana: it looks like a big coat with a really full skirt. The whole thing is yellow with black details and patterns, and the skirt is brown. She said it was the reverse of the print. But it's a mullet hem and while it's down to her knees in front it might not count as a gown. The bodice has slightly puffy sleeves and a diamond seaming pattern that makes it look like there are lapels from far away.

Dom, Asha, Kini, and Emily are safe. Ken wanted to use rich materials to get the effect of Baroque. This gown is confident and lovely and everyone loves it. Isaac doesn't really but it seems like he acknowledges it's a good piece. The guest judges aren't super fans? I think everyone at least knows it's good if it's not their favorite. Sam talks about his flair or whatever but is covered up. They like the lace but it is maybe not Baroque necessarily. Georgina ruins it by saying he's the only one who made Baroque fresh so it doesn't matter if the lace doesn't fit. Alyssa does say that the dress is one she's seen before and he just found a great fabric. True. Layana loves her fabric but then the judges slam her for not being couture? What? Isaac says it's a store-bought dress trying to be couture. OK it's not that bad. The yellow is fine but the brown is not. Mitchell basically says he made something bold. Fine. It's not Baroque but the bottom is horrible and the booties (OPEN-TOED ANKLE BOOTS) are unacceptable. Those flaps on the side that were weird are actually not finished. Georgina calls him out on the back, because when the zipper broke he put a panel of solid black in there. Valerie didn't want to do too much? Not overabundant? The corset-style seaming on the outside is cool, and Isaac thinks it's unique. They really like it. What? What is happening today? Alexander has both sequined fabric and lace sewn onto his dress. The seed pearls are not the right period and he probably should have done sequins and lace over the whole thing.

Valerie had a modern dress, but the guest judges are not impressed. That's when you know the producers have stepped in, when the guest judges make sense and the regular judges are sounding mental. Clearly Valerie is supposed to be redeemed after last week. Sam's dress was fresh (they say “fresh” a bunch of times) and Isaac thinks it is the most “conceptually realized” piece which is so nonsensical. What does that even mean, Isaac? Ken's gown was dramatic and caught everyone's attention. Layana did too much, and Georgina seems to imply there was too much designer there. Isaac does point out you can't slam couture for being weird but it is supposed to be “influential”. Mitchell was banal and unflattering. The skirt was inexcusable. Alexander made a costume, and then on top of that it was the wrong era.

Valerie is in. The winner is Ken. I TOLD YOU. Also thank God because if Sam had won I would have to listen to a bunch of bullshit drama. Sam is in. Alexander is in. They actually eliminate someone tonight, and that is Mitchell. Bye Felicia. Layana is in. He cries but he's lost all his brownie points with me so I don't care.

Next week: ...or somehow “this season”, the same preview from before. Whatever.