TAR16, Recap Leg 3, 2/28/10

Welcome to Leg 3! Last time, on The Leg of Much Traveling to Go Nowhere, teams raced around Chile to Puerto Varas. Jet and Cord, the cowboys, found themselves a way to get a faster bus ahead of everyone else, catapulting them into first place and eliminating the grandma. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Jet/Cord, The Cowboy Brothers
2nd – Joe/Heidi, The Asians
3rd – Carol/Brandy, The Lesbians
4th – Brent/Caite, Team Like The Iraq Such As
5th – Monique/Shawne, Team Claire Huxtable
6th – Jordan/Jeff, Team Big Brother
7th – Steve/Allie, Team World Series
8th – Dan/Jordan, Team I Love You Bro!
9th – Louie/Michael, Team Sherlock

Gruta de la Virgen, Puerto Varas, Chile

11:20 PM Jet/Cord (1st)
Clue: Take one of two busses from Del Salvador Bus Depot to San Carlos de Bariloche, Argentina. At the end of the six hour bus ride, drive selves to El Boliche Viejo, the bar where Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid hid out, and play “Gnome in the Wall” against the Travelocity Gnome by winning a hand of five card stud poker to get the gnome and the next clue.

(Toyouke: “Stupid gnome.”)

11:55 PM Joe/Heidi (2nd)
11:55 PM Carol/Brandy (3rd)
1:22 AM Monique/Shawne (4th)
2:01 AM Jordan/Jeff (5th)
2:23 AM Steve/Allie (6th)
2:25 AM Dan/Jordan (7th)
3:12 AM Louie/Michael (8th)
4:25 AM Brent/Caite (9th) – who were actually scheduled to depart at 1:20, but both were horribly dehydrated and took themselves to the emergency room in order to be healthy enough to continue racing. (Toyouke: “It's unusual for sickness, isn't it? I mean, injuries are common but sickness is not.” Kmanpat: “In my experience, no team has ever been shown going to the hospital.”)

So, all teams arrive at Del Salvador and get the following busses to Bariloche:

8:30 AM Departure
1) Jet/Cord
2) Joe/Heidi
3) Carol/Brandy – who pass the time trying to talk to the cowboys about how they were sneaky about their bus, when the boys just want to say howdy. (Toyouke: “You can't play dirty like that and then be irritated when people just want to know how you played dirty. Although you know you and I would be happy to chit chat all day long.”)


8:50 AM Departure
1) Monique/Shawne
2) Jordan/Jeff
3) Steve/Allie
4) Dan/Jordan
5) Louie/Michael
6) Brent/Caite

So, teams arrive in Bariloche in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord – in a clever move, since they are being followed, the cowboys pull over to “navigate”. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone avoid being followed before. . .
2- Joe/Heidi
3- Carol/Brandy
4- Jordan/Jeff
5- Steve/Allie
6- Louie/Michael
7- Monique/Shawne
8- Brent/Caite
9- Dan/Jordan – Dan does not drive stick. GREAT. (Toyouke: “Sigh...the stick shift thwarts the same team. I bet Jordan knows how to drive stick, if you know what I mean.” Kmanpat: “If he and I were racing together, I’d let him drive stick.”)

Teams drive themselves to El Boliche Viejo. So teams arrive at the saloon in the following order:

1- Joe/Heidi
2- Carol/Brandy
3- Jet/Cord
4- Jordan/Jeff
5- Steve/Allie
6- Monique/Shawne
7- Louie/Michael
8- Dan/Jordan
9- Brent/Caite – who can’t navigate their way out of a paper bag.

Teams then play poker against the gnome. Cord: “He has some poker face.” The teams win and get their gnome clue in the following order:

1- Joe/Heidi
2- Carol/Brandy
3- Jet/Cord
4- Jordan/Jeff
5- Steve/Allie
6- Monique/Shawne
7- Louie/Michael
8- Dan/Jordan
9- Brent/Caite

Teams are then instructed to travel by foot to Peña Gaucha. Teams race there and arrive at the clue box in the following order:

1- Joe/Heidi
2- Carol/Brandy
3- Jet/Cord
4- Jordan/Jeff
5- Steve/Allie
6- Monique/Shawne
7- Louie/Michael
8- Dan/Jordan
9- Brent/Caite

And teams come to the third roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who’s ready to get roped into something?
In this roadblock, one team member must choose a lasso and rope a cow shaped target 18 feet away. Once the target is roped, teams pull the fake cow towards them to get their next clue.

(Toyouke: “HAHA this is better than when they were in China and the challenge was to speak Mandarin and Victor and his sister were there.”)

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Heidi
2- Carol
3- Jet – who misses on the first try. Way to rope ‘em, cowboy.
4- Jeff
5- Steve
6- Louie
7- Shawne
8- Dan
9- Brent

After much lassoing, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Carol/Brandy
3- Joe/Heidi
4- Jordan/Jeff
5- Steve/Allie
6- Dan/Jordan
7- Louie/Michael
8- Brent/Caite
9- Monique/Shawne – Shawne has major trouble. So they pray. And she lassoes it. (Toyouke: “Was God feeling generous or something?”)

Teams are then instructed to drive themselves to Puente Nirihuau and search the cliffs for their next clue. Teams arrive at the clue box in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Carol/Brandy
3- Jordan/Jeff
4- Joe/Heidi
5- Steve/Allie
6- Dan/Jordan
7- Louie/Michael
8- Brent/Caite
9- Monique/Shawne

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Horse Sense OR Horse Power
*Horse Sense: Teams must visit a nearby gunslinger and get a set of coordinates. Then, teams find the compass and pace out the coordinates in the directions indicated by the compass to find a bag of money (With their coordinates on it). Teams then take the bag to the train station where the head bandit will give them a gold coin with their next clue.
*Horse Power: Teams must walk to the polo field and don appropriate apparel. Teams then choose a wooden horse and alternate hits to smack a polo ball through a goal. Teams must accomplish their goal in nine hits or less, otherwise they must start over. Teams that complete the challenge get a trophy with their next clue.

(Toyouke: “What, they couldn't find them real horses to ride? Does their insurance not cover it or something? Fake horses makes this super lame.”)

1-Jet/Cord choose Horse Power
2-Carol/Brandy choose Horse Sense –and, in the first Bald Snark of the season, switch tasks when the going gets tough and more to Horse Power.
3-Jordan/Jeff choose Horse Sense – but can’t seem to find their bag or the head bandit at the train station that they never visit. (Toyouke: “No Loser Gong for thinking the gunslinger is the head bandit? The Graphic of Stupid was so awesome. ‘This is why you are wrong and also dumb.’”) So, the detectives accidently find their bag for them. (Auburnium0513: “It seems like reading is not the strong suit of teams on this race.”)
4-Joe/Heidi choose Horse Sense – and Bald Snark to Horse Power. And then Joe falls off his high horse. Twice.
5-Steve/Allie choose Horse Power
6-Dan/Jordan choose Horse Sense – and Bald Snark to Horse Power, only to not complete the task twice before the other teams all show up.
7-Louie/Michael choose Horse Sense – and Bald Snark to Horse Power.
8-Brent/Caite choose Horse Power
9-Monique/Shawne choose Horse Power – and Bald Snark to Horse Sense when their backs start to give out from moving the horse.

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Steve/Allie
3- Carol/Brandy
4- Joe/Heidi
5- Jordan/Jeff
6- Dan/Jordan
7- Brent/Caite
8- Louie/Michael
9- Monique/Shawne

Teams get their clue and find that they must now drive themselves to Estancia Fortin Chacabuco, a sheep ranch in Bariloche, the PIT STOP of the third leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Jet/Cord – who win a trip for two to Patagonia (Toyouke: “I don't think they know where Patagonia is.”), which they’ve just spent a week traipsing through. Phil: “How are you racing with your belt buckles?” Cord: “They’re keeping our pants up.” Jet: “We’d be slower with our pants around our ankles.”
2- Steve/Allie
3- Carol/Brandy
4- Joe/Heidi
5- Jordan/Jeff – (Auburnium0513: “Ah, he can read! And he admitted that they shouldn't spawn!”)
6- Dan/Jordan
7- Brent/Caite
8- Louie/Michael
9- Monique/Shawne


And Monique and Shawne are eliminated. But they never gave up! Ugh, so hackneyed.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Jet/Cord
2nd – Steve/Allie
3rd – Carol/Brandy
4th – Joe/Heidi
5th – Jordan/Jeff
6th – Dan/Jordan
7th – Louie/Michael

Next week: We are off to Germany, where the cowboys drink. A lot. And we see a task that hasn’t occurred in five seasons: the Intersection! Until next time!