Monday, March 8, 2010

TAR16, Recap Leg 4, 3/7/10

Welcome to Leg 4! Last time, on Haybale Cows and Wooden Horses Do Not a Gaucho Make, teams raced across the Andes to Bariloche, Argentina. The lesbians antagonize the cowboys, who only let that play into their second first place finish. The lesbians, on the other hand, bicker and have a rough leg all around. But not as rough as the Claire Huxtables, who find themselves eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Jet/Cord, The Cowboy Brothers
2nd – Steve/Allie, Team World Series
3rd – Carol/Brandy, The Lesbians
4th – Joe/Heidi, The Asians
5th – Jordan/Jeff, Team Big Brother
6th – Dan/Jordan, Team I Love You Bro!
7th – Brent/Caite, Team Like The Iraq Such As
8th – Louie/Michael, Team Sherlock

Estancia Fortin Chacabuco, Bariloche, Argentina

10:57 PM Jet/Cord (1st)
Clue: Fly 8000 miles to Frankfurt, Germany! Once there, teams board a train to Hamburg. In Hamburg, find Jungfernsteig St. to get your next clue.

Jet and Cord find their way to a travel agent, and find out that everyone will probably be on the same flight out of Bariloche. And he is right. So we skip all of the airport drama (YAY!) and find out the flight patterns:

Flight 1, Buenos Aires to Paris to Frankfurt, arrives 2:35 pm
1) Jet/Cord
2) Louie/Michael
– although, I would like to know how this happened, even with the bunching. But they are hopeful that this leg will be better.

Flight 2, Buenos Aires to Frankfurt, arrives 3:00 pm
1) Carol/Brandy – Brandy – “The word of the day is RESPECT.” (Auburnium0513: “The word for the day? What is this, Sesame Street? This episode of TAR is brought to you by the number 2, the letter I and the word 'respect.'”)
2) Dan/Jordan – Dan laments on how he hates travel and is only doing this for Jordan since it is his dream to complete the race. (Auburnium0513: “'I hate to travel, so I'm going to run the Amazing Race!' How stupid is that?”)

Flight 3, Buenos Aires to São Paolo to Frankfurt, arrives 3:40 pm
1) Joe/Heidi
2) Steve/Allie
3) Brent/Caite
4) Jordan/Jeff

I have a question. Having been to Germany, I know that Frankfurt is in the southwest. And Hamburg is north central, much closer to Berlin. I also know that even though Frankfurt has the bigger airport, going to Berlin would have made a ton more sense. But why are we going to southwest Germany only to end up in the north? I’m confused. Anyway, all teams arrive in Frankfurt Airport and get themselves to the trains to Hamburg:

Train 1, departs 3:37 pm
1) Jet/Cord
2) Louie/Michael

Train 2
1) Carol/Brandy
– who just missed the first train by seconds with. . .
2) Dan/Jordan – (Toyouke: “Ah, running for transportation.” Auburnium0513: “That tight plane to train connection is causing me flashbacks to my experience in Charles de Gaulle where I missed my train by 30 seconds because I chose the wrong set of stairs. At least for me it was just dinner plans on the line, not $1 million.”)
3) Brent/Caite
4) Steve/Allie
5) Joe/Heidi
6) Jordan/Jeff

Thus, teams arrive at the Jungfernsteigstrasse Clue Box in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Louie/Michael
3- Joe/Heidi
4- Carol/Brandy
5- Steve/Allie
6- Dan/Jordan
7- Jordan/Jeff
8- Brent/Caite

Now, all sorts of things happen. First, teams arrive at an Intersection. An Intersection is a route marker where teams must join forces with another team of their choice, regardless of arrival order, and must complete any tasks with them until told to split up.

Teams join forces in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord & Louie/Michael
2- Joe/Heidi & Steve/Allie
– while Joe gets on some kick of them all being family people or something. I feel like this was a backhanded lesbian diss.
3- Carol/Brandy & Dan/Jordan – and Dan talks about the awesomeness that is Carol. (Toyouke: “Why isn't the episode title 'She's Like the Lesbian Aunt I Never Had'?”)
4- Jordan/Jeff & Brent/Caite –Brent: “I think Caite should do this; she’s good with directions." (Toyouke: “Did you really just say Miss The Iraq was good at directions?”)

And teams come to the fourth roadblock.

Who’s ready to reach new heights?
In this roadblock, one team member from each of the joined teams must race together on the train to Hamburg Harbor and perform a 150 foot tandem bungee in order to get their next clue. Noncompeting members must remain at the route marker.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Jet & Michael – Operator: “You’re going to lose your hat.” Jet: “No I’m not.” And he doesn’t. IS there anything he can’t do? (Toyouke: “Well, damn. 'A real cowboy's hat never comes off.' Never? Can we test that?” Kmanpat: “Ooh!” Toyouke: “And by we, I mean me.” Kmanpat: “Aw. . .”)
2- Joe & Allie – and Joe’s knee pops on the bungee. Not good for later.
3- Brandy & Dan – Brandy: “We went on a bungee to build confidence before the race. And I never, never, never, never, never wanted to do it again.” (Toyouke: “'It's upside down'?? Do you not understand the concept of bungee jumping?”) And Dan was SO awesome encouraging Brandy!
4- Jordan & Caite – who get on the UBahn going the wrong direction. (Toyouke: “I hope this blonde alliance provides some entertainment. I can't imagine the Hamburg subway system is that useless. Don't you know how to read a map? Oh wait...” Auburnium0513: “Caite, the map won't tell you the direction of the train, the sign on the platform does!”)

After much bungee, Roadblockers complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Jet & Michael
2- Joe & Allie
3- Brandy & Dan
4- Jordan & Caite

Teams are then instructed to return to their teammates at the clue box and rejoin them. Teams arrive at the clue box in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord & Louie/Michael
2- Joe/Heidi & Steve/Allie
3- Carol/Brandy & Dan/Jordan
4- Jordan/Jeff & Brent/Caite

Teams then open up their Roadblock clue, which tells them to resume racing separately. It then tells them to travel to the Kaiser Wilhelm statue at the Rathaus. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Louie/Michael
2- Jet/Cord
3- Steve/Allie
4- Joe/Heidi
5- Jordan/Jeff
6- Brent/Caite
7- Dan/Jordan
8- Carol/Brandy

And we get the Detour Clue.

Soccer OR Sauerkraut

*Soccer: Teams must travel to a 100 year old soccer stadium, dress in soccer uniforms and kick five penalty kicks through targets on a goal. Once completed, the referee will give them their next clue.
*Sauerkraut: Teams must travel to a local restaurant and eat a plate of sauerkraut while listening to a band play the “Sauerkraut Polka”. Teams must finish their food by the time the music ends, or be presented with another full plate. Once complete, the server hands them their next clue.

(Toyouke: “Soccer is a German tradition?” Auburnium0513: “I was wondering how long the Sauerkraut Polka was, so I googled, and it seems to be about 2 minutes long.”)

1-Louie/Michael choose Sauerkraut
2-Steve/Allie choose Soccer
3-Joe/Heidi choose Soccer
– but Joe’s knees give out and they Bald Snark to Sauerkraut.
4-Jet/Cord choose Soccer – and they complete yet another task that neither of them has ever done. Cord: “Hey, Jet, nice pair of balls you got there!” (Auburnium0513: “Kmanpat, please tell me what you thought when the cowboys talked about getting their balls!” Kmanpat: “Well, Cord, I could say . . .” Toyouke: “And you’re done. NOW.”)
5-Carol/Brandy choose Sauerkraut
6-Dan/Jordan choose Soccer
7-Jordan/Jeff choose Sauerkraut
– but can’t get through a full plate in the time limit, so they Bald Snark to Soccer, after leaving the city of Hamburg in their cab. (Auburnium0513: “Hamburg PLACE and Hamburg PALACE are two very different places I'd imagine.” Toyouke: “'Is this the hamburger place?' Jeez.”) Jordan: “Oh, we have to kick through the targets?” (Toyouke: “There are targets mounted in the goal. How did you imagine you didn't have to kick through them?”)
8-Brent/Caite choose Soccer – because Caite has played soccer since age 5. But she gets an awful case of shin splints just as she tries to show off. (Toyouke: “I used to play soccer, and I could kick pretty far, but I never really was able to aim well enough to hit a target.”) Caite: “I still got three goals.” (Toyouke: “He had to help me out but I still beat him.”)

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Louie/Michael
2- Steve/Allie
3- Jet/Cord
4- Joe/Heidi
5- Carol/Brandy
6- Dan/Jordan
7- Brent/Caite
8- Jordan/Jeff

Teams are then instructed to make their way to the Haifisch Bar to get their next clue. They arrive in the following order:

1- Louie/Michael
2- Steve/Allie
3- Joe/Heidi
4- Jet/Cord
5- Carol/Brandy
6- Dan/Jordan
7- Brent/Caite
8- Jordan/Jeff

Teams are then instructed to drink a boot of beer. Once the boot mug has been completed, the bar maid will give them their next clue.

Teams finish the beer in the following order:

1- Louie/Michael – except Michael doesn’t really drink. (Toyouke: "How does Michael not drink beer?”)
2- Steve/Allie – Steve: “Dad needs a beer!” (Toyouke: “That is the most personality I have seen from Steve and Allie all season.”)
3- Joe/Heidi
4- Jet/Cord
–Jet: “I never want another beer in my life.” (Toyouke: “Aww! Cowboys should be able to drink beer.” Auburnium0513: “How can the cowboys never have drank a beer?”)
5- Carol/Brandy
6- Dan/Jordan
7- Brent/Caite
– after Brent throws up most of it.
8- Jordan/Jeff – Jordan: “When I saw that we had to drink beer I knew we were good! Because Jeff likes to DRINK beer.” Thanks for the insight, dear.

Teams get their clue and find that they must now make their way to Beatleplatz, a plaza in the the red light district that is set up in honor of the Beatles. Jet: “Well, we’re no longer in the Bible Belt.” Once their teams find the Indra Club, the PIT STOP of the fourth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Louie/Michael – who each win a $5000 gift card from Discover. NICE.
2- Steve/Allie
3- Joe/Heidi
4- Jet/Cord
5- Carol/Brandy
6- Dan/Jordan
– Dan: “Are we in the red light district?” Jordan: “Hell yeah, and I’m drunk.” (Toyouke: “Of course boy-Jordan is drunk.”)
7- Brent/Caite
8- Jordan/Jeff

And Jordan and Jeff are the last team to arrive. YAY! But this is the first of three non-elimination legs and you are still in the race. BOO! But, there will be a Speed Bump on the next leg, so that may slow you down. Lovely.

(Toyouke: “Now I am irritated that we could have gotten rid of an annoying team. EVERY TIME.”)

1st – Louie/Michael
2nd – Steve/Allie
3rd – Joe/Heidi
4th – Jet/Cord
5th – Carol/Brandy
6th – Dan/Jordan
7th – Brent/Caite
8th – Jordan/Jeff

Next week: Teams get immersed in World War I. Excellent. And there is a U-Turn. Ooh, and a Speed Bump? Harsh. Until next time!

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