Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Top Design 10/22/08--"Light It Up" summary

Previously on Top Design: the designers showed us their ideas for rooms…OF THE FUTURE! Really, though, they were OK mostly. Preston won, because he had some idea for a hotel that involved crown molding used like siding. Eh, I wasn’t that impressed. Andrea kept talking about how she was homesick or whatever, but in the end Natalie went home. Her idea for a hydraulic platform that you could raise and lower was a pretty good one, but her execution wasn’t that exciting and it was kind of not futuristic. Luckily for us Eddie has started to say stupid stuff, so we won’t be without sound bites. (click for more)

Eddie announces to everyone that today he will be wearing underwear. He pretends he doesn’t hate Preston for winning last time, and also that “we” (whatever combination that is, I think he means the other designers) don’t let Preston play. Then for some reason he chastises Preston for loading the dishwasher wrong, or something. Preston doesn’t appear to care. There’s a random knock at the door and Andrea opens it to find some flowers from her husband. How was he able to get those in there? Does he know where they are or did he have to leave them with a producer? Also there is a love poem. Barf. She is still homesick. Haha, her poem is signed “Ricky”. Ondine’s been let in on the giant secret of how Andrea is Rick Schroeder’s wife and she explains that he’s an actor, in case we don’t know. Then she says she’s thrilled to have met Andrea, so I guess one of them is going home.

In the workroom there are two giant piles of all of Jonathan’s products. India comes in, and then Jonathan, to announce a Pop Design challenge. Eddie namedrops his stupid job to show how he’s all confident. Everyone gets the same sofa and tables and shelves, and they have to accessorize with all of Jonathan’s stuff. Oh, and books from the other judges. Winner will get not only immunity but some other unspecified prize. Nathan loves getting immunity but he feels like everyone assumes he’s not working hard in the main challenge, an idea which is “baloney sandwiches.”

Andrea is already freaking out and talking about how she’s an underdog. Oh man, I wish Natalie was still here, she’d have some crazy stuff. Eddie snobs that if he wanted to work at a Jonathan Adler store he would have filled out an application. Not funny, and also the smirking ruins the joke, genius.

Andrea has a cool rug, and a pink cloth over the table, and she turned the bookcase on its side. That way she wouldn’t have to put anything on it. Oh, don’t tell the judges that. Her room’s OK but it seems like something anyone could do, not just a “designer”. Ondine went for black and white and blue. The accessories on the bookshelf are blue. Her style isn‘t really my style but I think it‘s pretty good. Eddie has a zebra rug and some oranges and yellows. He actually tells Jonathan that he hates “one-stop shopping” and wouldn’t normally do that. Then he kisses Jonathan’s ass about the rug he got. Jonathan calls him a stylist, and for some reason Eddie refuses to admit that he is actually a stylist. Weird. Jonathan gets on him for not admitting what he is, and Eddie makes fun of his height and calls him an elf. No, seriously. What is his problem? Nathan, of course, has a British flag rug and a ton of color to go with it. It’s very bold and very Nathan. Preston babbles about balance and there’s some yellow in the design. He admits that this could be a living space but also a showroom. Usually those two things don’t go together.

Andrea wasn’t pulled together, especially because of the shelves. Preston screwed up too, and it was too “showroom” and didn’t show his voice. Everyone else was really good. Eddie’s room looks like him and not a Jonathan Adler showroom. It’s rich. Eddie still manages to look pissed. Nathan has balanced subversive and chic. Hee. I think “subversive and chic” is a good combination of adjectives for Nathan and also an excellent combination in general. Ondine has a sweet feminine casual mood. Eddie wins. When they pull back to show him all happy I see he is wearing manpris. Not even real manpris, but jeans he rolled up to mid-calf. He says he doesn’t want to sound like an a**hole (which should be your clue about what he‘s going to say next) but he totally doesn’t need immunity. Eye roll. Now in the tradition of “Project Runway” it is field trip time!

They go to L.A. Mart, which isn’t open to the public. Andrea’s husband is filming a movie across the street so she’s all aflutter. Behind India there is a giant Swarovski branch. It’s really pretty but like, tree size. She tells them that behind her are five huge Swarovski chandeliers, and this week’s challenge is to design a room around one of these chandeliers. Heh. Eddie, since he won, can decide the order they get to choose. He starts giggling while everyone freaks out. He picks first, of course, and picks a long rectangular box. Then Andrea can pick, and at first he says Preston is next but changes his mind to this order: Andrea, Nathan, Ondine, and Preston last. His reasoning is that he’ll never be friends with Preston so what does he care? “A gay’s gotta do what a gay’s gotta do.” (Kmanpat: “Hey, I‘m all about gays doing what they want to do. And I‘ll help them do it.” Me: “That‘s all you, then.”) Andrea picks a very tall green column. Nathan chooses a spiky branch-like clear chandelier. Ondine goes with a fish net with what looks like white marbles in it. So Preston gets stuck with the one that is a cross between a Hershey’s kiss and a disco ball. He’s pretty pissed off. They have 2 hours to paint, and 7 hours to work. Their budget is $22,000 (!).

We’re back to the fake rooms, although I think they only get two walls this time. Eddie plans a hip dining room with pea soup green walls. Nathan notices shadows coming off his chandelier so he tapes off shapes on the walls to accent that. Eddie calls him “tranny” as he comments on the room which 1. no, and 2. YOU ARE NOT CHRISTIAN. Nathan’s making a bratty rich girl’s room. Ondine thinks her chandelier is exotic so she’s making an eclectic bedroom. Andrea is actually painting chocolate brown on the walls. I know! As we watch her paint you can see that the chandeliers are carefully wrapped in plastic. Preston has black on his walls, again. He’s left big white panels, though. His plan is to make a masculine cocktail lounge type room. Nathan is trying to paint inside his tape lines, with a roller in each hand. Preston is done early so he’s trying to help and Nathan is all, I’m done! No need for help! Bye! He doesn’t like that Preston is always around trying to make comments. When Eddie offers to help, though, he gladly tells him to pick up a tray. I find Eddie much more annoying than Preston, but whatever. Nathan’s walls will be purple and neon green. Preston watches them work. That’s cold. He says that he doesn’t let his personality out until he’s been around people a lot and he’s comfortable. I would think he’s been around them enough, 24/7 for how many days? But I get what he’s saying.

Shopping time! Only two hours to shop. Nathan buys a life-size wooden horse and then declares that he wishes he was this rich bratty girl. Hee. Andrea is now going for “Hollywood vintage” so she’s spending a lot on the couch she picked out. Eddie finds the Martha Stewart section and starts buying stuff. Um…Martha isn’t what I would consider “modern” or “hip”. His whole buying montage is overlaid with an interview where he talks about how incredibly awesome it is to work for Martha Stewart. Barf.

So the reason Eddie was buying Martha Stewart furniture is because when he saw that section, he changed his idea entirely and now it’s a traditional room he’s going to style the hell out of. He brags about how his ideas are gifts from God as we see that his walls are pale green and beige, with gold leaf highlights. Like, literal leaves. He cackles at his own joke while Nathan and Andrea look on in horror. Nathan shudders in interview and says “Martha, Martha, Martha!” and then giggles at his own joke.

Todd time! Nathan’s left one wall white, but Todd suggests he make sure it still looks finished. Ondine’s chandelier isn’t very big and might get lost over the bed. I guess the chandelier is supposed to be the focal point of the room. Preston has bright orange furniture. Andrea is worried that his chairs are too traditional, but she can accessorize them. Todd loves Eddie’s floor, and Eddie interviews that he doesn’t need anyone to stop by and tell him his designs are good because that’s his job. SHUT UP. It’s like Kenley.

Ondine is moving her chandelier so it’s more dramatic. Nathan’s got his chandelier over a very cool modern chess board. Eddie doesn’t have enough to do so he goes over to Preston to force him to admit that he likes his chandelier now, and it looks good. But then he smirks to the camera about it. Eddie, dear, you aren’t funny enough nor are you hot enough to be this bitchy. Andrea is having Nathan and Eddie help her style her room. Nathan thinks his room is the only one with a jolt of color. It kind of is. There’s some kind of stupid sequence where they filmed Eddie blowing out candles and then ran the footage backwards. I don’t know. Nathan voiceovers that everyone’s room is so different that it’s hard to know what the judges will think.

Kelly is not here today. Do you know who is here today? Simon Doonan! This should be fanfreakingtastic. Andrea’s room has one brown wall and one wall with green wallpaper with this vertical oval print. It looks really cool. Cream colored sofa and chairs, and flower arrangement. The brown wall has a giant mirror. The chandelier is about as tall as the room, and she put it almost in the corner, like a floor lamp. The green goes really well with the wallpaper. She wanted a different coffee table, at first. Not sure why she didn’t get one. The table is more 80’s rather than the 50s/60s/70s she wanted. India asks Margaret if she feels like she’s sitting in some starlet’s home, and Margaret hesitates for a long time before admitting it’s glam.

Ondine: huge wingback bed, in pink, with one dark purple or brown wall and one lavender wall. There are a lot of Asian things hanging around. There’s also a shiny dresser. The lamp is not very big and it’s totally lost with all the other things going on in this room. She says there’s a lot of her in this room, and she pulled from a ton of showrooms. It wasn’t her first choice for chandelier, but she likes it. But she also knows that it’s not really big enough to hold down a whole room.

Preston: black walls, with a big panel of a white design in the center of each wall. The design has crosses in it…it’s hard to describe. There’s some metal, black, and white furniture, and two orange chairs. The chairs are cool. The chandelier is over above a chaise lounge and it’s not really the focal point of the room. However, it’s centered above the lounge and in the middle of the wallpaper panel. He and Simon discuss not using the wallpaper over the whole wall and not wallpapering corners. He’s tried to focus your eye on the chandelier, but when the cameraman shoots from the “front” with the chandelier off to the side, the orange chairs make the other wall look like the front, and since that’s the only color he has, why didn’t he put the chandelier over there? Preston even has to tell the judges where to stand so the chandelier is in the center. You have to move around in his room. Bleh.

Eddie, I know when you are working you are wearing your undershirt with all the holes in it, but seriously, for judging, put a shirt back on. He has a very traditional dining table and chairs and sideboard, in a dark wood. The walls are green and gold with gold leaves dividing the panels. The chandelier is on display, because in a dining room, your eye is easily drawn to the lighting above the table. Sadly it looks good. Behind one table there’s a mirrored screen and what almost looks like the back of a couch, except there’s not room for one there. India reminds everyone Eddie has immunity, and he’s like, oh, I forgot, but Simon’s all, bitch please. As it turns out, the thing that looks like the back of a couch is actually a couch. The cushions tricked me into thinking it was chairs. Simon says that as “a freakishly undersized person” (hee!) he wants to go see if that really works. India’s not seen that before, so Eddie has to make fun of her for living under a rock or something. Let me tell you, I doubt very much that Martha Stewart has a sofa pulled up to her dining table. Eddie regrets nothing.

Nathan’s turn. Oh, man, there are a million things going on. The chandelier is kind of small, but it’s near the center of the room and it is low enough that it’s more in focus. One wall is crazy green and purple jagged shapes, while the white wall has round mirrors hung on it. There’s a French bed and the horse is in one corner. White wardrobe (goes with the white bed), pink chair, purple ottoman, turquoise bed linens with one hot pink pillow. Cow hide rug. Jonathan calls him bananas, and Simon asks him if he took acid or crystal meth before he did the room and Nathan says it‘s acid. Hee, I told you this would be good. Margaret thinks it’s fun. Nathan loves the chandelier and how it accents the game table.

Margaret starts off the judging. She commands Eddie to describe his chandelier, which he does, reluctantly, with disgust. She totally calls him on it and asks if his hatred of his chandelier affected his design. Of course he says that it didn’t, he built the room around it, blah blah blah, and Jonathan cuts him off by saying the chandelier twinkles but in his room it’s like a casket. Ouch. Eddie can’t shut up and tells him that everyone has their own opinion and he knows lots of people who would love that room. I get hopeful for a brief moment but then remember Eddie has immunity. Margaret is mad and says that it looks like a cheap piece of crap chandelier and he phoned it in this week. He’s super lucky. I’ll say. Nathan’s room was bizarre but had such a great mood that everyone liked it. He thinks the paint mural is the most important part because the design came from the light fixture. Jonathan tells Ondine that her furniture was pulled together and had good scale but was kind of frumpy. Not the bed but the mirrored dresser. Margaret was bored by the grass cloth (I think she means the rug?) and Ondine starts talking about how the dark wall is dark so the lights stand out. Simon complains that the light is so bright that everything ended up tea-stained and melancholy. I’m…sorry, I have no idea what is going on. My best guess is that Ondine’s colors were not bold enough so it all looked sad and blah under such a bright light. Preston’s room is kind of quirky, which is good. The chairs and wallpaper were fantastic, but the mirror and chandelier are at the same level so they kind of fight. The mirror is above the chairs so if you’re looking from that angle that looks like the center of the room. Everyone else seemed to like the room, though. Andrea had much stronger color than she’s had, and her furniture was good but the accessories were pretty crappy. Like the big plastic vase with fake flowers on the table. Margaret tells her that she had things in the right places, they were just the wrong things. All of a sudden Andrea is about to cry, as she tells everyone that she was sure she’d step out of her comfort zone this time and wow the judges, but she didn’t, and now she’s thinking she’s maxed out, creatively, and intimidated. Margaret tells her to get over herself and she lacks confidence. Usually those things don’t go together. But her designs lack confidence and she just needs to believe she can do it. She’s actually crying now, and there’s a shot of Eddie standing next to her grinning. I want to smack that grin off his face. Of course it’s possible he’s trying to make her happy but I doubt it. Andrea chose to have kids early and chose that path but this designer path is in her too and she is trying to live both dreams and she’d like to go home. What? Everyone just kind of stares at her. She says she’s being realistic. The judges make her wait and kick everyone out to wait for the official decision.

Andrea is up first. Margaret knows that Andrea made an effort this week, and her chandelier was actually the focal point of her room. Jonathan is disgusted that she said she wanted to quit. As disgusted as Probst has ever been at someone who quit “Survivor”. Jonathan feels it was disrespectful to people who have worked hard to be there, but India thinks it was just raw emotion, she’s always in the bottom, so she must feel that she’s scraping along. But Ondine is always in the bottom too, and she’s not quitting, is Margaret’s argument. Everyone’s careers are at stake (sort of) and she needs to understand that. Backstage Andrea is trying to explain how her emotions were all worked up and Nathan tells her she did a good job. That’s why I love Nathan. The judges think that if Eddie didn’t have immunity he would be going home. Jonathan declares it a mortuary sitting room, if Martha Stewart did mortuaries. It’s an “Eddie Ross” look, though, which…eh. Preston is clear about his visions, and doesn’t make many missteps. The chandelier is framed perfectly, but Margaret does make sure to clarify that it’s framed perfectly only if you look from over the sofa. Nathan’s room was fantastic and over the top and based on a mood. Nathan tells the other contestants he’s not trying to be shocking and Eddie says something that I can’t make out. Don’t make me come over there. Ondine’s room was depressing and the chandelier was boring and blah. Nathan says Preston is slick and young, but he thinks he can beat him. Ondine knows it’s between her and Andrea.

India says only one of them will win, and “not all of you” will make it to final four. Preston wins. Eh. It was good, I probably just want Nathan to win because he is my favorite. The boys are dismissed, to Eddie’s voiceover about how he is over the judges and takes what they say with a grain of salt and his room was beautiful. Sigh. You should listen to the judges seeing as how they control your future on this show. Andrea had a more successful room, based on the challenge, which was to showcase the chandelier. So based on that, Ondine would be going home. This is where I knew what would happen. However, Andrea said she wanted to go home, and it’s up to her to decide. So, they tell Andrea that Ondine would be going home on merit, so Andrea knows that if she decides to stay she’s responsible for eliminating Ondine. That’s harsh. Andrea knows she could kick ass if she could just have moment with her family before the next challenge, but that’s not possible. Poor Ondine! She has to stand there while this woman decides on both their fates, and doesn’t once mention her. India asks if she really wants to go home, and she doesn’t know, and she asks Ondine what she thinks. Ondine gives her the bitchiest look and doesn’t respond. Seriously! What the hell do you think she will say! “Oh, whatever you want to do, I’ll go home.” GOD. Andrea finally says she guesses she’ll have to go home. Ondine doesn’t even try to hide her smile. Andrea has no regrets, and she thinks she’s proven herself, and she’s a mother first. Now she can go home and see her family. Yes, I know it was a dirty trick of the judges to tell her that she will control Ondine’s fate as well as her own, but to ask Ondine what she should do? Come on.

Next week: Eddie is annoyed by Preston, Ondine can’t get her furniture in her room, Nathan and Eddie goof off and Eddie is insulted that Preston won’t join in. Stupid Jeff Lewis is back to piss me off but he gets into it with Margaret so I kind of am looking forward to that fight.


Anonymous said...

I love your recap. It was definitely on point. I like that Preston does not join in Eddie's "bitchfest" but focuses on the challenge. Andrea is a quitter and probably should have thought twice before quandering this opportunity that many others would die for (Natalie). Anyone I'm glad Ondine gets another chance and I hope someone slaps some sense into know a little tough love. I am so over Eddie. I hope he gets into with Jeff next week. Jeff will definitely put him in his place. Hee!

Linda Merrill said...

It looks to me like Jeff Lewis gets into it with Adler next week. Now that should be fun! He even disses what Jonathan wears! Great recap as always!

Anonymous said...

I love that Eddie who has apparently not left the comfort of being up martha's ass for the last several years, questioned the living experiences of India Hicks. I mean, she may not have ever experienced the sofa to table look...which by the way, looks cool but is awful to use I mean, do you really want to eat dinner crammed right next to the other diner in a 63" settee...and they are annoying to get in and out off without shaking the table or disturbing your dining partner..but she is the daughter of David Hicks, one of the most famous designers of all time, a former internationally traveled model, and the second cousin of Prince Charles. She was a freaking bridesmaid in Lady Di's wedding. I think she may have gotten around a little more than Eddie. And like Kenley, Eddie might want to consider that like them or not, Margaret, Kelly, Todd, Jonathon, and India might have connections in the design industry that would be useful one day. I don't think calling a judge an elf will make them look favorably on your work, or inclined to help you in any way after the competition is over. I'm sorry to rant, but Eddie is the kind of self-absorbed, obnoxious gay that gives the rest of us a bad name. By the way, I think he hates Preston because Preston is so beautiful, and Eddie, of the crack flashing, is not.