TAR13, Recap Leg 4, 10/19/08

Welcome to Leg 4! Last time, on Starr Pushed My Bra Off the Ledge (And We HATE Her!), teams raced from Fortaleza to the highest capital city in the world, La Paz Bolivia. There was some drama about the Evans twins pushing the pageant queens bras off the ledge and into a flaming pit of doom, lit by the tracks left by that mamma’s boy, Dallas, and then constant bickering over the U-Turn, which Sharpay insisted that Aja use, but “Oh hell!” decided not to and instead told the girls what had happened, so now everyone hates everyone more. Got that? (Toyouke: “Hee.”) Oh, and the nerds lost their breath, and fell into last place because they were stupid and took a taxi when they shouldn’t have, but Team Asshat turned around and saved themselves a penalty. Unfortunately, the Bra Losers finish before the penalty is served and the Nerds are eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Ken/Tina, Team Mom and Dad Evans, arrived at 12:33 PM
2nd – Toni/Dallas, Team Himbo, arrived at 12:59 PM
3rd – Terence/Sarah, Team Asshat, arrived at 1:04 PM
4th – Marisa/Brooke, Team Southern Belle, arrived at 1:05 PM
5th – Aja/Ty, Team Aw Hell, arrived at 1:06 PM
6th – Nick/Starr, Team HSM! *jazz hands*, arrived at 1:07 PM
7th – Andrew/Dan, Team Superbad, arrived at 1:08 PM
8th – Kelly/Christy, Team Missing Bra, arrived at 1:20 PM

Mirador el Monticulo, La Paz, Bolivia

Pit stop. Eating, sleeping, and mingling from the CIVIL teams on this race. Instead, we get to hear about the escalating drama between the Evans Twins and the Bra Losers. Which, by the way is not ending too quickly. I may be passing the asshat title shortly.

12:33 AM Ken/Tina (1st)
Clue: Fly 6900 miles to Auckland, New Zealand! Once there, find the marked cars and drive selves to Gulf Harbor and untie a Gordian knot to find your next clue.
Ken and Tina remark that they are bonding quite well on the race. (Kmanpat: “I do admit, they are getting along much better now that Ken kissed Terence.”)

12:59 AM Toni/Dallas (2nd) – Dallas: “I’m just happy mommy is treating me like an adult! But I don’t know where New Zealand is!” Toni: “Well, at least he didn’t major in Geography. . .”

1:04 AM Terence/Sarah (3rd)
1:05 AM Marisa/Brooke (4th) – Girls: “We’re moving on up!” (Kmanpat: “To the East side!” Toyouke: “Oh, no, don’t you start with the showtunes.”)

1:06 AM Aja/Ty (5th) – Ty: “That last leg bit us in the butt.” Aja: “If you say that phrase one more time, I’m throwing you out of the airplane.” (Toyouke and Kmanpat: “Throw Kelly and Christy instead!”)

1:07 AM Nick/Starr (6th)
1:08 AM Andrew/Dan (7th)
1:20 AM Kelly/Christy (8th)

Teams arrive at La Paz International Airport in the following order:

1- Ken/Tina
2- Terence/Sarah
3- Aja/Ty
4- Toni/Dallas
5- Nick/Starr
6- Marisa/Brooke
7- Andrew/Dan
8- Kelly/Christy

Teams choose flights to Auckland using the internet. Tina does complain about other teams copying her idea. Unless they are reading your brain, Tina, I think everyone came up with this one on their own. Plus, we get to see Aja and Ty fight for the first time, and he calls her Fidel Castro. It sounds a lot worse than it is. Aja: “Give me a hug. NOW.” And they make up in less than a minute. Because Aja is that moody.

So, everyone gets on the same LAN flight to Santiago and then Auckland. I sense bunching.

So, teams arrive in Auckland in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah
2- Andrew/Dan
3- Ken/Tina
4- Kelly/Christy
5- Nick/Starr
6- Aja/Ty
7- Toni/Dallas
8- Marisa/Brooke

Teams then drive themselves to Gulf Harbour. We see much craziness, as this is the first time the teams have to drive themselves anywhere.

So teams arrive at Pier C and find a Gordian knot to work with in the following order:

1- Ken/Tina
2- Andrew/Dan
3- Terence/Sarah - who made one wrong turn that dropped them for first to third. Not a big deal, right? Oh, and apparently, Terence drives better when people touch his head. It’s like a Magic Troll doll, except this one isn’t as cute.
4- Kelly/Christy
5- Toni/Dallas – who drives on the wrong side of the road. Not a problem.
6- Nick/Starr – who ask for directions from a gas station attendant.
7- Aja/Ty – who blew a tire on the way. They get help from a local.
8- Marisa/Brooke – get lost. BADLY. Gas Station Attendant: “You can’t get lost!” Based on the editing, I’m surprised they made it to New Zealand.

Teams untie their knot and find their clue hidden inside. The teams read their clue in the following order:

1- Andrew/Dan
2- Ken/Tina
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Kelly/Christy
5- Toni/Dallas
6- Nick/Starr
7- Aja/Ty
8- Marisa/Brooke

Teams actually find TWO clues in the knot, and are surprised to find a FAST FORWARD!!!

FAST FORWARD:

Recall (if you can, since we see these so rarely anymore) that a fast forward is a task that can be performed to allow one team to skip all remaining tasks and head directly to the pit stop. However, each team may only use their fast forward power once on the race, so they must decide when it is more advantageous to use it. In this, the first of TWO fast forwards on this race, teams must travel to the tallest structure in the Southern Hemisphere, the Auckland Sky Tower, and use the maintenance ladders to climb from the sky deck to the tip of the spire to skip all remaining tasks and travel directly to the Pit Stop.

Teams decide to go for the Fast Forward in the following order:

1- Ken/Tina
2- Andrew/Dan

So, the Frats and Mr. and Mrs. Evans go for it, but Ken/Tina are faster, grab the 1 at the box, and climb the tower, which actually takes a significant amount of time, since teams are already gnome hunting by the time they finish. Anyway, Ken and Tina gets their Fast Forward and take a helicopter to the Pit Stop at Summerhill near Te Puke.

Everyone else gets the clue to drive themselves to the summit of Mount Eden, a dormant volcano to get their next clue. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Andrew/Dan – who didn’t lose much time from the Fast Forward run.
4- Kelly/Christy - who decide to run UP Mount Eden. Good Lord.
5- Nick/Starr
6- Aja/Ty
7- Marisa/Brooke

And teams come to the third roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who’s got an eye for detail?

Is it just me or are the Roadblock questions getting lamer and more vague?

In this roadblock, one team member must immerse themselves in the local Maori culture by choosing a print of a tattoo and matching it with the tattoo on the face of the dancing warriors. If wrong, the warrior will run away with the print, and the roadblocker must try again. If right, the warrior will give the team the next clue.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Terence – “This is the craziest thing I’ve ever done.” (Kmanpat: “You don’t get out much, eh?”)
2- Toni – Dallas: “Please do not eat my mom!”
3- Andrew
4- Christy
5- Starr
6- Aja
7- Brooke

After much hilarity, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Kelly/Christy
4- Andrew/Dan
5- Nick/Starr
6- Aja/Ty
7- Marisa/Brooke

Teams are then informed to drive themselves back to Auckland and find the City Life Hotel, and make their way to the rooftop.

Teams arrive on the rooftop in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Andrew/Dan
4- Kelly/Christy
5- Nick/Starr
6- Aja/Ty
7- Marisa/Brooke

Teams rip open the clue, and find that it’s now PRODUCT PLACEMENT TIME! That’s right folks, it’s that time every season where we have to find the Travelocity gnome. And apparently, it now has an official title: GNOME SPOTTING!

In this gnome spotting activity, teams take a pair of binoculars and find a roaming gnome doing one of the many New Zealand wish list activities near the hotel. Once a team spots a gnome, they must go and retrieve it to get their next clue.

Teams find and collect their gnomes in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah – who find one hang gliding on a roof.
2- Toni/Dallas – whose gnome is sipping wine on a balcony in a lounger. Toni: “Don’t drink wine with our baby!”
3- Andrew/Dan – who finds the mountain biking gnome.
4- Nick/Starr – who find the kayaking gnome in a kiddie pool.
5- Kelly/Christy – whose gnome is hanging out in a tree, possibly after a parachute.
6- Aja/Ty – whose gnome is flying about in a hot air balloon.
7- Marisa/Brooke – whose gnome is. . .I have NO CLUE.

ANYWAY, teams now are instructed on the bottom of their gnomes to drive to Te Puke and find Kiwi 360°, which is, A GIANT KIWI! Which is kinda cool.

Teams arrive at the giant kiwi in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Andrew/Dan
4- Nick/Starr
5- Kelly/Christy
6- Aja/Ty
7- Marisa/Brooke

And now, we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Matter of Time OR Matter of Skill
*Matter of Time: Teams must drive themselves to the kiwi orchard, where they must stomp kiwi fruit to create 12 quarts of kiwi juice. Once they have all 12 quarts, each team member must drink a glass in order to get their next clue.
*Matter of Skill: Teams must dive themselves to Blokart, where they will choose two blokart kits, put them together correctly, and then each drive a blokart around a track three times in order to get their next clue.
1-Terence/Sarah choose Matter of Time
2-Toni/Dallas choose Matter of Time – and then, in our first Bald Snark of the Season, decide to change detours to Matter of Skill. Toni: “This looks more fun when Lucy and Ethel do it.” (Kmanpat: “Except Ethel didn’t do it, it was this Italian woman. . .” Toyouke: “How do you know this?”)
3-Andrew/Dan choose Matter of Time – and then Bald Snark to Matter of Skill.
4-Nick/Starr choose Matter of Time – and then Bald Snark to Matter of Skill. And Starr tips over and badly hurts her arm.
5-Kelly/Christy choose Matter of Time
6-Aja/Ty choose Matter of Time – and then Bald Snark to Matter of Skill.
7-Marisa/Brooke choose Matter of Time

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah
2- Kelly/Christy
3- Toni/Dallas
4- Nick/Starr
5- Andrew/Dan
6- Aja/Ty
7- Marisa/Brooke

Teams must now drive themselves to Summerhill, a 1000 acre sheep farm and the PIT STOP of the fourth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

Teams arrive and are greeted by. . . “Hi, I’m Phil’s dad. Welcome to New Zealand!” AWESOME.

1- Ken/Tina – who win a seven night trip to Rio de Janeiro during Carnival.
2- Terence/Sarah
3- Kelly/Christy
4- Toni/Dallas
5- Nick/Starr
6- Andrew/Dan
7- Aja/Ty
8- Marisa/Brooke

And Marisa and Brooke are eliminated. As much as they were annoying and lost half the time, I enjoyed them, and they weren’t very annoying.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Ken/Tina
2nd – Terence/Sarah
3rd – Kelly/Christy
4th – Toni/Dallas
5th – Nick/Starr
6th – Andrew/Dan
7th – Aja/Ty

Next week: Teams are off to Cambodia, and Terence gets pulled over by a cop along the way, proving that he really is the Colin of this season. I’m waiting for a broken ox. And Kelly and Christy break out the 80’s movie references on Dallas. Until next time. . .