Top Design 10/29/08--"Finale pt. 1" summary

Previously on Top Design: everyone had to make rooms out of Jonathan Adler products, which was semi-interesting. Then they designed rooms around giant sparkling chandeliers. Some of them were cool, but Preston’s looked weird. He won, somehow, even though his chandelier was only the center of the room when viewed at exactly the right angle. Nathan did a loud room that somehow worked. Eddie had immunity, which was good because his room sucked. Ondine’s room was next worst, but Andrea got really homesick and quit. In a very evil move, the judges wouldn’t just kick her out; they made her confirm that she wanted to leave. AFTER they told the women that Ondine’s room was the worst of the two. Whatever. (click for more)

Ondine (who is wearing bright red and yellow, and navy blue) tells us she’s glad that she’s still here and Andrea gave her her spot. Nathan appears with a cake covered in candles, because it’s Eddie’s birthday. Eddie interviews that he’s with a talented group of people. Notice he didn’t say he likes them. They have all managed to buy him presents somehow. Then he’s a bitch about Preston, saying he’s not part of the group and he’s too L.A. or whatever. Preston says he needs time alone and he’s not getting any. You look pretty alone sitting there by yourself.

Instead of dropping the designers off at the workroom, they end up at some townhouses in a new development. India gives them some blah de blah about how they’ve made it this far, and then gives them the challenge: design one room of one of these houses. No one looks surprised or disturbed. However, they must be wary of what they pick, because three of them will continue on and design the entire rest of the house. The finale this season, instead of lofts, will be 3 bedroom town homes. Eddie for some reason cries at this news. Ondine says she’s designed entire houses before, although she’s had a year to plan. $20,000 for this one room, and if they make it that far, $85,000 for the whole thing. Wow. So this room is supposed to make the judges want to see your entire house.

90 minutes for planning and ordering. Ondine wants to prove she’s worthy. Eddie misses his calm bedroom. Which is super rich, he says. Preston picks the family room, because he is thinking he wants a dining table. We get shots of Preston’s home, which is CRAZY. It’s very ornate and looks like no one actually lives there. He says he worked with his father in construction when he was younger. Uh oh. Nathan then shares that he began designing at 10 years old, practicing vacuuming lines into the carpet. Hee. His house is much more fun than Preston’s. He wants to show a new side of himself. Ondine thinks there is art in small spaces, so she‘s redoing one of the small bedrooms. Her house is huge and has a crapload of stuff in it. I kind of like it. Eddie doesn’t care what the judges want, he’s going to do whatever he wants. Where are the pictures of Eddie’s house?

Shopping time! Everyone runs for what they want. Eddie complains that Preston’s tagged too much. Wah. They’re all doing different rooms, so that should mean there isn’t much fighting. Supposedly. Everyone escapes without much bloodshed and goes to another store. Ondine seems to be at a loss, and can’t find what she wants. She’s flailing at the last minute, and tries to explain her list, but I think she wrote it in shorthand so she’s not sure the salesperson understood her. In the Top Design show room, there is a lot of name flashing. I guess they collected stuff from different stores and shoved it all in there, but they still wanted to namedrop sponsors or something. That would explain why there are papasan chairs in there.

Back at home, Eddie is making shooters and drinks for everyone. He and Nathan and Ondine party while Preston hangs out by himself. He’s got a history of alcoholism which would explain why he’s not partying. Then…um…Nathan comes downstairs in a curly wig and a headband and some of Ondine’s clothes. And heels. It’s…just…wow. He pretends to be India, although he really should pretend to be Kelly since she’s the one with the headgear. He’s also pretty drunk. (Kmanpat: “Oo, drunk and in tight pants! Yay!”) Eddie puts his hands all over Nathan. Ondine talks about how silly they are and how she likes it. Is…is that a tongue stud? Nathan has his tongue pierced? Why didn’t I notice that before? Eddie complains that they were all having fun and then Preston wasn’t, like “he got on the wrong bus”. Then for some reason Nathan and Eddie are doing a confessional together. Is Eddie sitting on Nathan’s lap? And they’re making fun of Preston, which consists of pretending to blow up their muscles. Eddie is like, Nathan! I, we have to shave you! Because he shaves! And Nathan gives him a LOOK. Why did the producers let them do this drunk? This is unsettling, like in a minute they’re going to go hold him down and try to shave his head. Bur I must admit, when Nathan bites his necklace and looks coy it’s very cute.

In the morning somehow no one is too terribly hung over. There’s a montage of Nathan’s rooms that he‘s done on the show…uh oh. Overnight the wallpaper and paint people have been here, and also the furniture delivery people. Everyone gets movers for two hours. Ondine’s desk is too big and won’t fit in the door. She asks them to dismantle the desk, but the legs are glued onto the top so it looks like that won’t be happening. She says if it won’t fit in the room she might as well stop now. Preston makes the movers move the furniture around, just like he used to do when he moved as a child. He is kind of annoying about it but hey, I would make them move it too. By some miracle (I think removing two doors or something) Ondine’s desk has made it into her room. Eddie comes over, for some reason, because he has nothing better to do. Neither does Nathan. They both like her room. Well, Nathan does. Eddie says some babble but I hear the phrase “tranny ding dong”. Sweetie, you are not Christian. You are 5 inches and at least 50 pounds over.

Todd time! He likes Preston’s accessories, which are silver antlers. He tells him he needs them. I feel like that’s important. Todd asks Ondine about her sad window treatments, and suggests she get floor to ceiling drapes. She doesn’t have time for that. But she’s going to try. Eddie’s room is blue and has a nature tree wallpaper design. He says maybe it’s not what the judges want but he doesn’t care. Todd loves Nathan’s crazy but he’s going more calm today. Todd begs him to do something crazy. This doesn’t look good.

Preston glues plates to a wall. Well, he puts glue and then nails underneath. Nathan knows that this space isn’t really “him” like the judges have seen him, but he is hoping doing something different will help him move on. Ondine’s drapes don’t turn out the way she wants so she’s scrapping them.

Stupid Jeff Lewis is back to guest judge instead of Kelly. I dislike him so. Eddie is up first. All light blues, with a wallpaper with trees on it. Everything else is white, the linens, lamps, sideboard, the random lattice on the walls. The side tables have bamboo hangings on them to hide anything you might want to store underneath. It’s a very calming room but it’s kind of boring. Margaret lifts up the bamboo to look under the end tables, and Jeff tells her she could work on “The Price Is Right.” Oh, yes, Jeff Lewis, please insult Margaret. I will enjoy watching her kick your ass. Jonathan asks why the bed is all white without any throw pillows, and Eddie says he wanted it to be hotel-esqe. Jeff makes a crack about Jonathan Adler pillows, and Eddie kisses Jonathan’s ass while Jonathan (wearing a navy blazer and bright red pants, jeez) rolls his eyes. Eddie says his whole house would be “easy breezy” and relaxing.

Nathan’s bedroom has very pale blue walls, almost white. The bed is blue with white accents, with a black wood headboard. There’s a sideboard in rich wood. There’s a jar of nails by the bed, apparently instead of flowers. But other than that…this room is not Nathan and it’s not very exciting and it makes me sad. He claims a sexual influence and India tells him they’d be worried if there wasn’t. Jonathan is confused because he can’t find it, and Jeff points out the nails and says he knows Jonathan’s been trying not to look at them. Shut up, Jeff. There are no window treatments on the windows. Oh, Nathan. He pretends he didn’t see what he wanted.

Preston’s room has a bold blue-green wall with a diamond pattern. It’s apparently grass cloth. One big white couch, a dark blue silk chair, orange long bench, black chair. He claims to not like to use two of one thing in a room, which we know is not true. The plates are to tie into the kitchen. Preston likes that it was easy and soothing on the eye, and India jumps in to tell him that he himself is “easy and soothing on the eye.” Hee. Jeff asks about where the TV would go, and Preston I think is planning the TV downstairs. Jeff is weirdly insulting about it, like that he’s rubbing in that he has a life. I don’t know. This is Preston’s whole color palette for the house.

Ondine’s room is all in black and white, with only two walls papered in white with a black floral design. There’s a big white couch, and that desk. She says the wallpaper makes the room look bigger. She also explains that she ditched the window treatment because it was crappy. Jeff likes that everything is black and white except for one burst of color in a painting. She’s already planned the whole house, she says, so she’s hoping to be able to do that.

Judging time! Nathan put some things in the bathroom, which is good, but Margaret liked the bathroom better than the bedroom. The painting he had over the sideboard was great, but the feeling of the painting didn’t follow through into the rest of the room. Jeff wanted more edgy stuff. Oh, I knew it. Jonathan knows he’s done better stuff, and Nathan wanted to do a “pretty” room, but pretty rooms aren’t memorable. Preston is clean and polished again. He has good taste, but Jeff wished the bench was not there because it was crowded. Preston thought he had accounted for everything, but “inches make a huge difference”. *snicker*. Sorry, I am 12. Margaret wishes to have seen more Preston in the room, and Jonathan agrees. Ondine’s room was happy, but as she was trying to be simple the white walls look naked and so does the sofa with no throw pillows. Jeff decides to be the famewhore that he is and says they don’t all agree with Jonathan, he loved the black and white. Margaret likes the editing. Eddie’s room is not young or personal. Eddie, for some reason, is wearing a checked jacket and vest, and a bow tie. Sigh. Jeff doesn’t like Eddie’s style, and he pretends at first that it’s just a difference of opinion, but we all know Jeff is an asshat so you have to give it a minute to kick in. Sure enough, he thinks Eddie’s demographic has walkers and bedpans. Margaret just shakes her head. Eddie’s room is strong and classically styled, but he has a big personality and they want to see that in his rooms. Jonathan tells him he doesn’t think enough sometimes, and he plays it safe.

Preston was smart this week with different textures and is always thinking. They know his house will be great. Ondine took the smallest room and pulled it together. Jonathan is rooting for the underdog. They start to talk about Eddie, and Jeff is like, look at his clothes! You can tell! His room feels kind of impersonal, but he is capable of more. Jeff insists that Eddie has bad taste, but Margaret is like, just because it’s not your taste doesn’t mean it’s bad taste. But Jeff tells them that since he’s judging Eddie, it does matter. Margaret wants sexy, but Jeff is like, look at the man, he can’t do sexy. It sounds like Margaret is defending Eddie. Who is busy in the backroom flipping off the judges and being stupid again. Everyone agrees Nathan screwed up this week, but they also would be excited by his house. They don’t want an entire house that looks like his bedroom. Nathan tells the other designers he would have loved to cut up his headboard and glue the pieces to the wall.

Ondine’s room this week was lovely, and they tell her she’s moving on. Preston too. Eddie is consistent and is a great stylist, and Nathan is not consistent (but it sounds like his highs are higher). Nathan…congratulations! I can breathe again. Jeez. Nathan is in the finale, and Eddie is going home. Eddie feels some relief, and he regrets nothing. He says the show didn’t change him at all, he’s awesome and he’s bigger than this show. This isn’t the last we’ll see of him. Too bad.

Next time: some surprise, probably ex-contestants come to help, people freak out, Eddie is paired with Preston for maximum annoyance. Someone wins!
Clicky clicky

TAR13, Recap Leg 5, 10/26/08

Welcome to Leg 5! Last time, on I Want a T-Shirt That Says “I’m With Fidel”, teams bounded backwards from La Paz to Auckland, New Zealand. Mom and Dad Evans and Team Superbad both raced for the Fast Forward, which was eventually won by Ken and Tina, in their third consecutive first place finish. The Bras and HSMs continue their feud, but neither really hurts the other as the Blondes finish WAY last and are told by Phil’s Dad that they are eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next?
(click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Ken/Tina, Team Mom and Dad Evans
2nd – Terence/Sarah, Team Asshat
3rd – Kelly/Christy, Team Missing Bra
4th – Toni/Dallas, Team Himbo
5th – Nick/Starr, Team HSM! *jazz hands*
6th – Andrew/Dan, Team Superbad
7th – Aja/Ty, Team Aw Hell

Summerhill, Te Puke, New Zealand

6:03 AM Ken/Tina (1st)
Clue: Fly 5600 miles to Siem Reap, Cambodia! Once there, travel to a roadside gas pumping station and find your next clue. You have $98 for this leg of the race.
Ken: “I feel like a kid again! This old man and old woman aren’t so old!” Tina: “Speak for yourself.” (Toyouke: “Hee.”)

8:19 AM Terence/Sarah (2nd) – and Terence gets pulled over for going 117 km/hr in a 100 km/h zone. I sense a penalty coming on.

9:32 AM Kelly/Christy (3rd)
10:15 AM Toni/Dallas (4th) – Toni: “We need to race smarter, not harder.” Dallas: “I don’t even know where Cambodia is.” Toni: “You will soon enough, dear.” (Kmanpat: *sigh* “Cute but stupid.”)

11:34 AM Nick/Starr (5th) – By the way, in case you were wondering, Starr’s arm is not broken.

12:44 AM Andrew/Dan (6th)
3:04 PM Aja/Ty (7th) – Ty: “I wouldn’t trade Aja for a Porche.” Um, OK.

Teams arrive at Auckland International Airport (after the three hour drive) in the following order:

1- Ken/Tina
2- Terence/Sarah
3- Kelly/Christy
4- Toni/Dallas
5- Nick/Starr
6- Andrew/Dan
7- Aja/Ty

Teams choose flights to Siem Reap. All flights seem to go through Singapore and then on to Cambodia, but teams end up on three different flights:

Flight 1:
1) Ken/Tina
2) Terence/Sarah

Flight 2:
1) Kelly/Christy
2) Toni/Dallas
3) Nick/Starr
4) Andrew/Dan – who almost end up on the third flight. Which would have actually made things a lot less predictable this episode, actually. . .

Flight 3:
1) Aja/Ty

Teams flight to Singapore, where the first two flights meet each other and all get on the flight to Siem Reap together.

So, teams arrive in Siem Reap and get their taxis in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Kelly/Christy – but they get an idiot taxi driver who can’t read Cambodian.
4- Terence/Sarah
5- Ken/Tina
6- Andrew/Dan
7- Aja/Ty

Teams finally find their way to the gas pumping station in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Ken/Tina
5- Andrew/Dan
6- Kelly/Christy
7- Aja/Ty

Teams are then instructed to choose a truck and use a hand pump device to fill up the gas tank with 25 liters of diesel fuel. (Toyouke: “At least they can’t screw it up this time.”) Once the tank is full, they can get their clue from the attendant. This occurs in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Ken/Tina
4- Terence/Sarah
5- Kelly/Christy
6- Andrew/Dan – who have the hardest time pumping gas. Says Ken: “It’s like pulling down your zipper and letting it flow.” Words of wisdom, that.
7- Aja/Ty

Teams are now instructed to jump in the back of their truck and tell their driver to take them to Siem Reap Harbor on Tonlé Sap, Asia’s largest lake. Teams are then instructed to take a marked boat to Kho Andeth, a floating restaurant. (Kmanpat: “And we know what that means – EATING CHALLENGE!”) Teams are driven to the lake and arrive at the boats in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah – who lose their lead when their motor gets filled with water. Oops.
2- Ken/Tina
3- Toni/Dallas
4- Nick/Starr
5- Kelly/Christy
6- Andrew/Dan
7- Aja/Ty

Teams now take their boats to Kho Andeth and arrive in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Ken/Tina
4- Terence/Sarah
5- Andrew/Dan
6- Kelly/Christy – who get distracted by a Detour choice before they get to the restaurant.
7- Aja/Ty


And now, we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Village Life OR Village Work
*Village Life: Teams must have their boat take them to three different locations in the village to pick up various items: a set of chattering teeth from the dentist, a handmade doll from the tailor, and a basketball from the floating basketball court (where each team member must make one basket before leaving). Teams then take the items back to the dock in order to get their next clue.
*Village Work: Teams must have their boat take them to a specific fishing grounds and wade in the water to find two traps full of fish, take them back to the dock, and transfer them to baskets to get their next clue.
1-Nick/Starr choose Village Work – in which Nick goes topless.
2-Toni/Dallas choose Village Work – in which Dallas goes topless. Dallas: “I’m scared of this water.” Toni: “Yo, wuss, it’s just mud.”
3-Ken/Tina choose Village Life
4-Terence/Sarah choose Village Life – except they originally chose Village Work and stumbled across the other Detour first.
5-Andrew/Dan choose Village Work
6-Kelly/Christy choose Village Life
7-Aja/Ty choose Village Work

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Ken/Tina
3- Toni/Dallas
4- Terence/Sarah
5- Kelly/Christy
6- Andrew/Dan
7- Aja/Ty

Teams are now instructed to choose a marked tuk-tuk and have the driver take them to Angkor Wat, one of the New Seven Wonders of the World. (Kmanpat: “It’s also the only building pictured on any national flag.” Toyouke: “Dork.”)

Teams arrive at Angkor Wat in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Ken/Tina
3- Toni/Dallas
4- Terence/Sarah
5- Kelly/Christy
6- Andrew/Dan – Dan: “It’s the original Playboy Mansion!”
7- Aja/Ty

And teams come to the fourth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who has a better sense of direction?

In this roadblock, one team member must enter the large and daunting temple and find a very small room called the Chamber of Echoes, and thump their chest in just the right spot to hear it echo throughout the chamber in order to get their next clue.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Nick
2- Tina
3- Dallas
4- Terence
5- Christy
6- Andrew
7- Ty

After much searching, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Kelly/Christy
5- Ken/Tina
6- Andrew/Dan
7- Aja/Ty

Teams must now take their tuk-tuk to the Bayon Temple and search the grounds for the PIT STOP of the fifth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Nick/Starr – who win a trip for 2 to St. John.
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Ken/Tina
5- Kelly/Christy
6- Andrew/Dan
7- Aja/Ty

And Aja and Ty are eliminated. As if you didn’t see that coming. Ty: “I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else – I’m moving to LA!” Well, that’s nice.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Nick/Starr
2nd – Toni/Dallas
3rd – Terence/Sarah
4th – Ken/Tina
5th – Kelly/Christy
6th – Andrew/Dan

With the emphasis on the now: you see, remember Terence’s ticket? Yeah, he’s getting a 30 minute penalty for that, and that’s being applied to the next leg. It did not affect the standings of this leg, though. Interesting.

Next week: Teams are en route to Dehli for some India fun! Dallas starts taking about drunk dialing with Starr, and the producers thing this means he’s flirting. I think he’s just trying to get closer to Nick. Oh, and Tina finally causes Ken to crack; I knew that would happen once they stopped coming in first. Until next time. . .
Clicky clicky

Top Design 10/22/08--"Light It Up" summary

Previously on Top Design: the designers showed us their ideas for rooms…OF THE FUTURE! Really, though, they were OK mostly. Preston won, because he had some idea for a hotel that involved crown molding used like siding. Eh, I wasn’t that impressed. Andrea kept talking about how she was homesick or whatever, but in the end Natalie went home. Her idea for a hydraulic platform that you could raise and lower was a pretty good one, but her execution wasn’t that exciting and it was kind of not futuristic. Luckily for us Eddie has started to say stupid stuff, so we won’t be without sound bites. (click for more)

Eddie announces to everyone that today he will be wearing underwear. He pretends he doesn’t hate Preston for winning last time, and also that “we” (whatever combination that is, I think he means the other designers) don’t let Preston play. Then for some reason he chastises Preston for loading the dishwasher wrong, or something. Preston doesn’t appear to care. There’s a random knock at the door and Andrea opens it to find some flowers from her husband. How was he able to get those in there? Does he know where they are or did he have to leave them with a producer? Also there is a love poem. Barf. She is still homesick. Haha, her poem is signed “Ricky”. Ondine’s been let in on the giant secret of how Andrea is Rick Schroeder’s wife and she explains that he’s an actor, in case we don’t know. Then she says she’s thrilled to have met Andrea, so I guess one of them is going home.

In the workroom there are two giant piles of all of Jonathan’s products. India comes in, and then Jonathan, to announce a Pop Design challenge. Eddie namedrops his stupid job to show how he’s all confident. Everyone gets the same sofa and tables and shelves, and they have to accessorize with all of Jonathan’s stuff. Oh, and books from the other judges. Winner will get not only immunity but some other unspecified prize. Nathan loves getting immunity but he feels like everyone assumes he’s not working hard in the main challenge, an idea which is “baloney sandwiches.”

Andrea is already freaking out and talking about how she’s an underdog. Oh man, I wish Natalie was still here, she’d have some crazy stuff. Eddie snobs that if he wanted to work at a Jonathan Adler store he would have filled out an application. Not funny, and also the smirking ruins the joke, genius.

Andrea has a cool rug, and a pink cloth over the table, and she turned the bookcase on its side. That way she wouldn’t have to put anything on it. Oh, don’t tell the judges that. Her room’s OK but it seems like something anyone could do, not just a “designer”. Ondine went for black and white and blue. The accessories on the bookshelf are blue. Her style isn‘t really my style but I think it‘s pretty good. Eddie has a zebra rug and some oranges and yellows. He actually tells Jonathan that he hates “one-stop shopping” and wouldn’t normally do that. Then he kisses Jonathan’s ass about the rug he got. Jonathan calls him a stylist, and for some reason Eddie refuses to admit that he is actually a stylist. Weird. Jonathan gets on him for not admitting what he is, and Eddie makes fun of his height and calls him an elf. No, seriously. What is his problem? Nathan, of course, has a British flag rug and a ton of color to go with it. It’s very bold and very Nathan. Preston babbles about balance and there’s some yellow in the design. He admits that this could be a living space but also a showroom. Usually those two things don’t go together.

Andrea wasn’t pulled together, especially because of the shelves. Preston screwed up too, and it was too “showroom” and didn’t show his voice. Everyone else was really good. Eddie’s room looks like him and not a Jonathan Adler showroom. It’s rich. Eddie still manages to look pissed. Nathan has balanced subversive and chic. Hee. I think “subversive and chic” is a good combination of adjectives for Nathan and also an excellent combination in general. Ondine has a sweet feminine casual mood. Eddie wins. When they pull back to show him all happy I see he is wearing manpris. Not even real manpris, but jeans he rolled up to mid-calf. He says he doesn’t want to sound like an a**hole (which should be your clue about what he‘s going to say next) but he totally doesn’t need immunity. Eye roll. Now in the tradition of “Project Runway” it is field trip time!

They go to L.A. Mart, which isn’t open to the public. Andrea’s husband is filming a movie across the street so she’s all aflutter. Behind India there is a giant Swarovski branch. It’s really pretty but like, tree size. She tells them that behind her are five huge Swarovski chandeliers, and this week’s challenge is to design a room around one of these chandeliers. Heh. Eddie, since he won, can decide the order they get to choose. He starts giggling while everyone freaks out. He picks first, of course, and picks a long rectangular box. Then Andrea can pick, and at first he says Preston is next but changes his mind to this order: Andrea, Nathan, Ondine, and Preston last. His reasoning is that he’ll never be friends with Preston so what does he care? “A gay’s gotta do what a gay’s gotta do.” (Kmanpat: “Hey, I‘m all about gays doing what they want to do. And I‘ll help them do it.” Me: “That‘s all you, then.”) Andrea picks a very tall green column. Nathan chooses a spiky branch-like clear chandelier. Ondine goes with a fish net with what looks like white marbles in it. So Preston gets stuck with the one that is a cross between a Hershey’s kiss and a disco ball. He’s pretty pissed off. They have 2 hours to paint, and 7 hours to work. Their budget is $22,000 (!).

We’re back to the fake rooms, although I think they only get two walls this time. Eddie plans a hip dining room with pea soup green walls. Nathan notices shadows coming off his chandelier so he tapes off shapes on the walls to accent that. Eddie calls him “tranny” as he comments on the room which 1. no, and 2. YOU ARE NOT CHRISTIAN. Nathan’s making a bratty rich girl’s room. Ondine thinks her chandelier is exotic so she’s making an eclectic bedroom. Andrea is actually painting chocolate brown on the walls. I know! As we watch her paint you can see that the chandeliers are carefully wrapped in plastic. Preston has black on his walls, again. He’s left big white panels, though. His plan is to make a masculine cocktail lounge type room. Nathan is trying to paint inside his tape lines, with a roller in each hand. Preston is done early so he’s trying to help and Nathan is all, I’m done! No need for help! Bye! He doesn’t like that Preston is always around trying to make comments. When Eddie offers to help, though, he gladly tells him to pick up a tray. I find Eddie much more annoying than Preston, but whatever. Nathan’s walls will be purple and neon green. Preston watches them work. That’s cold. He says that he doesn’t let his personality out until he’s been around people a lot and he’s comfortable. I would think he’s been around them enough, 24/7 for how many days? But I get what he’s saying.

Shopping time! Only two hours to shop. Nathan buys a life-size wooden horse and then declares that he wishes he was this rich bratty girl. Hee. Andrea is now going for “Hollywood vintage” so she’s spending a lot on the couch she picked out. Eddie finds the Martha Stewart section and starts buying stuff. Um…Martha isn’t what I would consider “modern” or “hip”. His whole buying montage is overlaid with an interview where he talks about how incredibly awesome it is to work for Martha Stewart. Barf.

So the reason Eddie was buying Martha Stewart furniture is because when he saw that section, he changed his idea entirely and now it’s a traditional room he’s going to style the hell out of. He brags about how his ideas are gifts from God as we see that his walls are pale green and beige, with gold leaf highlights. Like, literal leaves. He cackles at his own joke while Nathan and Andrea look on in horror. Nathan shudders in interview and says “Martha, Martha, Martha!” and then giggles at his own joke.

Todd time! Nathan’s left one wall white, but Todd suggests he make sure it still looks finished. Ondine’s chandelier isn’t very big and might get lost over the bed. I guess the chandelier is supposed to be the focal point of the room. Preston has bright orange furniture. Andrea is worried that his chairs are too traditional, but she can accessorize them. Todd loves Eddie’s floor, and Eddie interviews that he doesn’t need anyone to stop by and tell him his designs are good because that’s his job. SHUT UP. It’s like Kenley.

Ondine is moving her chandelier so it’s more dramatic. Nathan’s got his chandelier over a very cool modern chess board. Eddie doesn’t have enough to do so he goes over to Preston to force him to admit that he likes his chandelier now, and it looks good. But then he smirks to the camera about it. Eddie, dear, you aren’t funny enough nor are you hot enough to be this bitchy. Andrea is having Nathan and Eddie help her style her room. Nathan thinks his room is the only one with a jolt of color. It kind of is. There’s some kind of stupid sequence where they filmed Eddie blowing out candles and then ran the footage backwards. I don’t know. Nathan voiceovers that everyone’s room is so different that it’s hard to know what the judges will think.

Kelly is not here today. Do you know who is here today? Simon Doonan! This should be fanfreakingtastic. Andrea’s room has one brown wall and one wall with green wallpaper with this vertical oval print. It looks really cool. Cream colored sofa and chairs, and flower arrangement. The brown wall has a giant mirror. The chandelier is about as tall as the room, and she put it almost in the corner, like a floor lamp. The green goes really well with the wallpaper. She wanted a different coffee table, at first. Not sure why she didn’t get one. The table is more 80’s rather than the 50s/60s/70s she wanted. India asks Margaret if she feels like she’s sitting in some starlet’s home, and Margaret hesitates for a long time before admitting it’s glam.

Ondine: huge wingback bed, in pink, with one dark purple or brown wall and one lavender wall. There are a lot of Asian things hanging around. There’s also a shiny dresser. The lamp is not very big and it’s totally lost with all the other things going on in this room. She says there’s a lot of her in this room, and she pulled from a ton of showrooms. It wasn’t her first choice for chandelier, but she likes it. But she also knows that it’s not really big enough to hold down a whole room.

Preston: black walls, with a big panel of a white design in the center of each wall. The design has crosses in it…it’s hard to describe. There’s some metal, black, and white furniture, and two orange chairs. The chairs are cool. The chandelier is over above a chaise lounge and it’s not really the focal point of the room. However, it’s centered above the lounge and in the middle of the wallpaper panel. He and Simon discuss not using the wallpaper over the whole wall and not wallpapering corners. He’s tried to focus your eye on the chandelier, but when the cameraman shoots from the “front” with the chandelier off to the side, the orange chairs make the other wall look like the front, and since that’s the only color he has, why didn’t he put the chandelier over there? Preston even has to tell the judges where to stand so the chandelier is in the center. You have to move around in his room. Bleh.

Eddie, I know when you are working you are wearing your undershirt with all the holes in it, but seriously, for judging, put a shirt back on. He has a very traditional dining table and chairs and sideboard, in a dark wood. The walls are green and gold with gold leaves dividing the panels. The chandelier is on display, because in a dining room, your eye is easily drawn to the lighting above the table. Sadly it looks good. Behind one table there’s a mirrored screen and what almost looks like the back of a couch, except there’s not room for one there. India reminds everyone Eddie has immunity, and he’s like, oh, I forgot, but Simon’s all, bitch please. As it turns out, the thing that looks like the back of a couch is actually a couch. The cushions tricked me into thinking it was chairs. Simon says that as “a freakishly undersized person” (hee!) he wants to go see if that really works. India’s not seen that before, so Eddie has to make fun of her for living under a rock or something. Let me tell you, I doubt very much that Martha Stewart has a sofa pulled up to her dining table. Eddie regrets nothing.

Nathan’s turn. Oh, man, there are a million things going on. The chandelier is kind of small, but it’s near the center of the room and it is low enough that it’s more in focus. One wall is crazy green and purple jagged shapes, while the white wall has round mirrors hung on it. There’s a French bed and the horse is in one corner. White wardrobe (goes with the white bed), pink chair, purple ottoman, turquoise bed linens with one hot pink pillow. Cow hide rug. Jonathan calls him bananas, and Simon asks him if he took acid or crystal meth before he did the room and Nathan says it‘s acid. Hee, I told you this would be good. Margaret thinks it’s fun. Nathan loves the chandelier and how it accents the game table.

Margaret starts off the judging. She commands Eddie to describe his chandelier, which he does, reluctantly, with disgust. She totally calls him on it and asks if his hatred of his chandelier affected his design. Of course he says that it didn’t, he built the room around it, blah blah blah, and Jonathan cuts him off by saying the chandelier twinkles but in his room it’s like a casket. Ouch. Eddie can’t shut up and tells him that everyone has their own opinion and he knows lots of people who would love that room. I get hopeful for a brief moment but then remember Eddie has immunity. Margaret is mad and says that it looks like a cheap piece of crap chandelier and he phoned it in this week. He’s super lucky. I’ll say. Nathan’s room was bizarre but had such a great mood that everyone liked it. He thinks the paint mural is the most important part because the design came from the light fixture. Jonathan tells Ondine that her furniture was pulled together and had good scale but was kind of frumpy. Not the bed but the mirrored dresser. Margaret was bored by the grass cloth (I think she means the rug?) and Ondine starts talking about how the dark wall is dark so the lights stand out. Simon complains that the light is so bright that everything ended up tea-stained and melancholy. I’m…sorry, I have no idea what is going on. My best guess is that Ondine’s colors were not bold enough so it all looked sad and blah under such a bright light. Preston’s room is kind of quirky, which is good. The chairs and wallpaper were fantastic, but the mirror and chandelier are at the same level so they kind of fight. The mirror is above the chairs so if you’re looking from that angle that looks like the center of the room. Everyone else seemed to like the room, though. Andrea had much stronger color than she’s had, and her furniture was good but the accessories were pretty crappy. Like the big plastic vase with fake flowers on the table. Margaret tells her that she had things in the right places, they were just the wrong things. All of a sudden Andrea is about to cry, as she tells everyone that she was sure she’d step out of her comfort zone this time and wow the judges, but she didn’t, and now she’s thinking she’s maxed out, creatively, and intimidated. Margaret tells her to get over herself and she lacks confidence. Usually those things don’t go together. But her designs lack confidence and she just needs to believe she can do it. She’s actually crying now, and there’s a shot of Eddie standing next to her grinning. I want to smack that grin off his face. Of course it’s possible he’s trying to make her happy but I doubt it. Andrea chose to have kids early and chose that path but this designer path is in her too and she is trying to live both dreams and she’d like to go home. What? Everyone just kind of stares at her. She says she’s being realistic. The judges make her wait and kick everyone out to wait for the official decision.

Andrea is up first. Margaret knows that Andrea made an effort this week, and her chandelier was actually the focal point of her room. Jonathan is disgusted that she said she wanted to quit. As disgusted as Probst has ever been at someone who quit “Survivor”. Jonathan feels it was disrespectful to people who have worked hard to be there, but India thinks it was just raw emotion, she’s always in the bottom, so she must feel that she’s scraping along. But Ondine is always in the bottom too, and she’s not quitting, is Margaret’s argument. Everyone’s careers are at stake (sort of) and she needs to understand that. Backstage Andrea is trying to explain how her emotions were all worked up and Nathan tells her she did a good job. That’s why I love Nathan. The judges think that if Eddie didn’t have immunity he would be going home. Jonathan declares it a mortuary sitting room, if Martha Stewart did mortuaries. It’s an “Eddie Ross” look, though, which…eh. Preston is clear about his visions, and doesn’t make many missteps. The chandelier is framed perfectly, but Margaret does make sure to clarify that it’s framed perfectly only if you look from over the sofa. Nathan’s room was fantastic and over the top and based on a mood. Nathan tells the other contestants he’s not trying to be shocking and Eddie says something that I can’t make out. Don’t make me come over there. Ondine’s room was depressing and the chandelier was boring and blah. Nathan says Preston is slick and young, but he thinks he can beat him. Ondine knows it’s between her and Andrea.

India says only one of them will win, and “not all of you” will make it to final four. Preston wins. Eh. It was good, I probably just want Nathan to win because he is my favorite. The boys are dismissed, to Eddie’s voiceover about how he is over the judges and takes what they say with a grain of salt and his room was beautiful. Sigh. You should listen to the judges seeing as how they control your future on this show. Andrea had a more successful room, based on the challenge, which was to showcase the chandelier. So based on that, Ondine would be going home. This is where I knew what would happen. However, Andrea said she wanted to go home, and it’s up to her to decide. So, they tell Andrea that Ondine would be going home on merit, so Andrea knows that if she decides to stay she’s responsible for eliminating Ondine. That’s harsh. Andrea knows she could kick ass if she could just have moment with her family before the next challenge, but that’s not possible. Poor Ondine! She has to stand there while this woman decides on both their fates, and doesn’t once mention her. India asks if she really wants to go home, and she doesn’t know, and she asks Ondine what she thinks. Ondine gives her the bitchiest look and doesn’t respond. Seriously! What the hell do you think she will say! “Oh, whatever you want to do, I’ll go home.” GOD. Andrea finally says she guesses she’ll have to go home. Ondine doesn’t even try to hide her smile. Andrea has no regrets, and she thinks she’s proven herself, and she’s a mother first. Now she can go home and see her family. Yes, I know it was a dirty trick of the judges to tell her that she will control Ondine’s fate as well as her own, but to ask Ondine what she should do? Come on.

Next week: Eddie is annoyed by Preston, Ondine can’t get her furniture in her room, Nathan and Eddie goof off and Eddie is insulted that Preston won’t join in. Stupid Jeff Lewis is back to piss me off but he gets into it with Margaret so I kind of am looking forward to that fight.
Clicky clicky

TAR13, Recap Leg 4, 10/19/08

Welcome to Leg 4! Last time, on Starr Pushed My Bra Off the Ledge (And We HATE Her!), teams raced from Fortaleza to the highest capital city in the world, La Paz Bolivia. There was some drama about the Evans twins pushing the pageant queens bras off the ledge and into a flaming pit of doom, lit by the tracks left by that mamma’s boy, Dallas, and then constant bickering over the U-Turn, which Sharpay insisted that Aja use, but “Oh hell!” decided not to and instead told the girls what had happened, so now everyone hates everyone more. Got that? (Toyouke: “Hee.”) Oh, and the nerds lost their breath, and fell into last place because they were stupid and took a taxi when they shouldn’t have, but Team Asshat turned around and saved themselves a penalty. Unfortunately, the Bra Losers finish before the penalty is served and the Nerds are eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Ken/Tina, Team Mom and Dad Evans, arrived at 12:33 PM
2nd – Toni/Dallas, Team Himbo, arrived at 12:59 PM
3rd – Terence/Sarah, Team Asshat, arrived at 1:04 PM
4th – Marisa/Brooke, Team Southern Belle, arrived at 1:05 PM
5th – Aja/Ty, Team Aw Hell, arrived at 1:06 PM
6th – Nick/Starr, Team HSM! *jazz hands*, arrived at 1:07 PM
7th – Andrew/Dan, Team Superbad, arrived at 1:08 PM
8th – Kelly/Christy, Team Missing Bra, arrived at 1:20 PM

Mirador el Monticulo, La Paz, Bolivia

Pit stop. Eating, sleeping, and mingling from the CIVIL teams on this race. Instead, we get to hear about the escalating drama between the Evans Twins and the Bra Losers. Which, by the way is not ending too quickly. I may be passing the asshat title shortly.

12:33 AM Ken/Tina (1st)
Clue: Fly 6900 miles to Auckland, New Zealand! Once there, find the marked cars and drive selves to Gulf Harbor and untie a Gordian knot to find your next clue.
Ken and Tina remark that they are bonding quite well on the race. (Kmanpat: “I do admit, they are getting along much better now that Ken kissed Terence.”)

12:59 AM Toni/Dallas (2nd) – Dallas: “I’m just happy mommy is treating me like an adult! But I don’t know where New Zealand is!” Toni: “Well, at least he didn’t major in Geography. . .”

1:04 AM Terence/Sarah (3rd)
1:05 AM Marisa/Brooke (4th) – Girls: “We’re moving on up!” (Kmanpat: “To the East side!” Toyouke: “Oh, no, don’t you start with the showtunes.”)

1:06 AM Aja/Ty (5th) – Ty: “That last leg bit us in the butt.” Aja: “If you say that phrase one more time, I’m throwing you out of the airplane.” (Toyouke and Kmanpat: “Throw Kelly and Christy instead!”)

1:07 AM Nick/Starr (6th)
1:08 AM Andrew/Dan (7th)
1:20 AM Kelly/Christy (8th)

Teams arrive at La Paz International Airport in the following order:

1- Ken/Tina
2- Terence/Sarah
3- Aja/Ty
4- Toni/Dallas
5- Nick/Starr
6- Marisa/Brooke
7- Andrew/Dan
8- Kelly/Christy

Teams choose flights to Auckland using the internet. Tina does complain about other teams copying her idea. Unless they are reading your brain, Tina, I think everyone came up with this one on their own. Plus, we get to see Aja and Ty fight for the first time, and he calls her Fidel Castro. It sounds a lot worse than it is. Aja: “Give me a hug. NOW.” And they make up in less than a minute. Because Aja is that moody.

So, everyone gets on the same LAN flight to Santiago and then Auckland. I sense bunching.

So, teams arrive in Auckland in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah
2- Andrew/Dan
3- Ken/Tina
4- Kelly/Christy
5- Nick/Starr
6- Aja/Ty
7- Toni/Dallas
8- Marisa/Brooke

Teams then drive themselves to Gulf Harbour. We see much craziness, as this is the first time the teams have to drive themselves anywhere.

So teams arrive at Pier C and find a Gordian knot to work with in the following order:

1- Ken/Tina
2- Andrew/Dan
3- Terence/Sarah - who made one wrong turn that dropped them for first to third. Not a big deal, right? Oh, and apparently, Terence drives better when people touch his head. It’s like a Magic Troll doll, except this one isn’t as cute.
4- Kelly/Christy
5- Toni/Dallas – who drives on the wrong side of the road. Not a problem.
6- Nick/Starr – who ask for directions from a gas station attendant.
7- Aja/Ty – who blew a tire on the way. They get help from a local.
8- Marisa/Brooke – get lost. BADLY. Gas Station Attendant: “You can’t get lost!” Based on the editing, I’m surprised they made it to New Zealand.

Teams untie their knot and find their clue hidden inside. The teams read their clue in the following order:

1- Andrew/Dan
2- Ken/Tina
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Kelly/Christy
5- Toni/Dallas
6- Nick/Starr
7- Aja/Ty
8- Marisa/Brooke

Teams actually find TWO clues in the knot, and are surprised to find a FAST FORWARD!!!

FAST FORWARD:

Recall (if you can, since we see these so rarely anymore) that a fast forward is a task that can be performed to allow one team to skip all remaining tasks and head directly to the pit stop. However, each team may only use their fast forward power once on the race, so they must decide when it is more advantageous to use it. In this, the first of TWO fast forwards on this race, teams must travel to the tallest structure in the Southern Hemisphere, the Auckland Sky Tower, and use the maintenance ladders to climb from the sky deck to the tip of the spire to skip all remaining tasks and travel directly to the Pit Stop.

Teams decide to go for the Fast Forward in the following order:

1- Ken/Tina
2- Andrew/Dan

So, the Frats and Mr. and Mrs. Evans go for it, but Ken/Tina are faster, grab the 1 at the box, and climb the tower, which actually takes a significant amount of time, since teams are already gnome hunting by the time they finish. Anyway, Ken and Tina gets their Fast Forward and take a helicopter to the Pit Stop at Summerhill near Te Puke.

Everyone else gets the clue to drive themselves to the summit of Mount Eden, a dormant volcano to get their next clue. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Andrew/Dan – who didn’t lose much time from the Fast Forward run.
4- Kelly/Christy - who decide to run UP Mount Eden. Good Lord.
5- Nick/Starr
6- Aja/Ty
7- Marisa/Brooke

And teams come to the third roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who’s got an eye for detail?

Is it just me or are the Roadblock questions getting lamer and more vague?

In this roadblock, one team member must immerse themselves in the local Maori culture by choosing a print of a tattoo and matching it with the tattoo on the face of the dancing warriors. If wrong, the warrior will run away with the print, and the roadblocker must try again. If right, the warrior will give the team the next clue.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Terence – “This is the craziest thing I’ve ever done.” (Kmanpat: “You don’t get out much, eh?”)
2- Toni – Dallas: “Please do not eat my mom!”
3- Andrew
4- Christy
5- Starr
6- Aja
7- Brooke

After much hilarity, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Kelly/Christy
4- Andrew/Dan
5- Nick/Starr
6- Aja/Ty
7- Marisa/Brooke

Teams are then informed to drive themselves back to Auckland and find the City Life Hotel, and make their way to the rooftop.

Teams arrive on the rooftop in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Andrew/Dan
4- Kelly/Christy
5- Nick/Starr
6- Aja/Ty
7- Marisa/Brooke

Teams rip open the clue, and find that it’s now PRODUCT PLACEMENT TIME! That’s right folks, it’s that time every season where we have to find the Travelocity gnome. And apparently, it now has an official title: GNOME SPOTTING!

In this gnome spotting activity, teams take a pair of binoculars and find a roaming gnome doing one of the many New Zealand wish list activities near the hotel. Once a team spots a gnome, they must go and retrieve it to get their next clue.

Teams find and collect their gnomes in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah – who find one hang gliding on a roof.
2- Toni/Dallas – whose gnome is sipping wine on a balcony in a lounger. Toni: “Don’t drink wine with our baby!”
3- Andrew/Dan – who finds the mountain biking gnome.
4- Nick/Starr – who find the kayaking gnome in a kiddie pool.
5- Kelly/Christy – whose gnome is hanging out in a tree, possibly after a parachute.
6- Aja/Ty – whose gnome is flying about in a hot air balloon.
7- Marisa/Brooke – whose gnome is. . .I have NO CLUE.

ANYWAY, teams now are instructed on the bottom of their gnomes to drive to Te Puke and find Kiwi 360°, which is, A GIANT KIWI! Which is kinda cool.

Teams arrive at the giant kiwi in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Andrew/Dan
4- Nick/Starr
5- Kelly/Christy
6- Aja/Ty
7- Marisa/Brooke

And now, we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Matter of Time OR Matter of Skill
*Matter of Time: Teams must drive themselves to the kiwi orchard, where they must stomp kiwi fruit to create 12 quarts of kiwi juice. Once they have all 12 quarts, each team member must drink a glass in order to get their next clue.
*Matter of Skill: Teams must dive themselves to Blokart, where they will choose two blokart kits, put them together correctly, and then each drive a blokart around a track three times in order to get their next clue.
1-Terence/Sarah choose Matter of Time
2-Toni/Dallas choose Matter of Time – and then, in our first Bald Snark of the Season, decide to change detours to Matter of Skill. Toni: “This looks more fun when Lucy and Ethel do it.” (Kmanpat: “Except Ethel didn’t do it, it was this Italian woman. . .” Toyouke: “How do you know this?”)
3-Andrew/Dan choose Matter of Time – and then Bald Snark to Matter of Skill.
4-Nick/Starr choose Matter of Time – and then Bald Snark to Matter of Skill. And Starr tips over and badly hurts her arm.
5-Kelly/Christy choose Matter of Time
6-Aja/Ty choose Matter of Time – and then Bald Snark to Matter of Skill.
7-Marisa/Brooke choose Matter of Time

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah
2- Kelly/Christy
3- Toni/Dallas
4- Nick/Starr
5- Andrew/Dan
6- Aja/Ty
7- Marisa/Brooke

Teams must now drive themselves to Summerhill, a 1000 acre sheep farm and the PIT STOP of the fourth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

Teams arrive and are greeted by. . . “Hi, I’m Phil’s dad. Welcome to New Zealand!” AWESOME.

1- Ken/Tina – who win a seven night trip to Rio de Janeiro during Carnival.
2- Terence/Sarah
3- Kelly/Christy
4- Toni/Dallas
5- Nick/Starr
6- Andrew/Dan
7- Aja/Ty
8- Marisa/Brooke

And Marisa and Brooke are eliminated. As much as they were annoying and lost half the time, I enjoyed them, and they weren’t very annoying.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Ken/Tina
2nd – Terence/Sarah
3rd – Kelly/Christy
4th – Toni/Dallas
5th – Nick/Starr
6th – Andrew/Dan
7th – Aja/Ty

Next week: Teams are off to Cambodia, and Terence gets pulled over by a cop along the way, proving that he really is the Colin of this season. I’m waiting for a broken ox. And Kelly and Christy break out the 80’s movie references on Dallas. Until next time. . . Clicky clicky

Top Design 10/15/08--"Room of the Future" summary

Previously on Top Design: there was a super gimmicky “green” challenge where the designers had to repurpose all the existing furniture and carpeting and whatnot in an office. Then for no reason everyone had to trade offices and make a design work with someone else’s purchases. It would have been hard enough with your “green” nonsense. Eddie won, mostly because Nathan bought great stuff and gave him some good ideas. Wisit ended up going home, because not only did he buy light sage and blue for a “masculine” office, but he took all of Natalie’s bold color and drained it so his room was sad. Also sad was his aria he sang on his way out, that they played a capella over his leaving. Coolest exit ever. (click for more)

Nathan will miss Wisit, but he’s shocked he didn’t win because all his comments were positive. Andrea asked her kids to write letters that she could open in the middle of the show. She’s feeling inadequate. The only opinion that matters to Preston is his mom’s. I see.

India and Margaret tell the designers to imagine it’s the year 2108, and they should design “the room of the future”. That sounds so lame. I mean, it might have cool results, but it sounds stupid. They won’t have real rooms; instead they’ll have those 3-walled spaces like last season. 45 minutes to plan with the carpenters, $7000 to shop, and two and a half days to work.

Eddie wants a fireplace. Um…OK. He describes his room as the lobby for “The Golden Clone” which is a cloning agency. Here, I’ll let him describe it for you: “I mean, no offense, everybody, but just because two people are good looking, sometimes they have really busted kids.” That makes no sense. Also there will be high benches because everyone will be tall. Andrea is scrambling because she hasn’t had time to think of something to do. She’s making a pod? A pod house? That moves? She is doing a pink room if this is her last room. Ondine also wants a fireplace, but she’s thinking of global warming, so it’s a “cooling” fireplace, and there will be fans in the walls. Natalie thought of flying saucers, so she’s using a lot of circles, and a stage of some kind. Oh, wait, it’s an elevated platform. You pick the level you want, bedroom, kitchen, whatever, and the circle goes up and down. Preston is making a space hotel, tailored and clean with stacked crown molding. Nathan is painting black on the walls, and making things flashy. He can do flashy, so that’s cool.

Jo-Ann’s Fabrics time! Nathan grabs Styrofoam to make topiaries. Eddie continues to try to claim the title of “sound bite whore” from Nathan by stating that Jo-Ann’s Fabrics “is like, gold Keds, and a stirrup pant, with a sweatshirt that says ‘Grandma loves her grandchildren.’” But he RUINS it by then buying shiny gold fabric. Sigh. Also, I love Jo-Ann’s Fabrics, so bite me.

Furniture shopping is at Modernica, of course. Andrea is buying a marble table, Eddie is buying red chairs and glass, and Preston has his usual tailored pieces. Eddie rolls his eyes. I just noticed, his shorts hit him at mid thigh. (Kmanpat: “AH HA! And you said that wasn’t cool! I told you! I don’t care if you guys make fun of my shorts, I have hot legs.”)

Painting time. Eddie is flinging red paint spatter all over his walls. Andrea tells him it’s creative. Ondine’s walls are gray with some kind of wallpaper that we don‘t see. Natalie has bright orange. Nathan (and his striped briefs) are painting black. He notices that Preston is also painting black and he gets all agitated. It’s so cute! He makes faces and flounces around all in a huff. Hee. Eddie calls Preston a “one-upper” because he always has to be better than everyone. Nathan stupidly tells Preston how his floor will be so Preston can steal his idea. He calls Preston a copycat, but DON’T TELL HIM YOUR IDEA! Jeez.

Day two brings the designers to Ikea! I wish there was an Ikea here. They only have one hour, which is no where near enough time to shop in Ikea. Ondine loses one of her lists so she can’t find all of her things. She totally freaks out. Nathan and his tight pants make fun of her. She ends up grabbing whatever she can to have accessories.

6 hours left! The carpenters are installing everything. Preston is planning to micromanage his carpenter now so he can just clean later. Nathan has frames for antique plates. Natalie realizes that her bright orange walls and shiny iridescent plastic make her room look like a strip club. Someone tells her this flat out, and she picks up a metal support pole to demonstrate. Eddie offers her all his money, if he had any. He could have left it at that, but no. He plans his perfect person out of the designers left: Natalie’s boobs, Andrea’s body (that would be so ridiculously disproportionate it’s obvious he’s gay), Preston’s lips, Ondine’s eyes, Nathan’s height, and everyone’s sense of humor. Nothing from Eddie himself? (Kmanpat: “Can he use Nathan’s ass instead?”)

Todd time! Ondine talks about her fans that she‘s mounting in the walls, and Todd likes that her design is classic but has future things. Preston’s ideas are tight with his execution. Natalie isn’t changing her chairs at all, so Todd tells her to change them up. Todd always says nice things about everyone. He can’t even say “I’m concerned about Eddie’s blood spatter” but instead he talks about how he thinks it’s weird but Eddie can pull it off. Andrea has to put together a lamp and she looks so lost amidst a sea of plastic circles. I want to help her. I like putting together Ikea furniture. India appears and everyone pretty much starts to cry.

Pop Design time! I hate these stupid twists. Always right when they should be working. Jonathan will quiz everyone and if you get a question wrong, you are out. Winner gets immunity. They‘ll be shown two pictures of similar objects. One is real, one is a remake. Everyone gets the first question right, but Eddie and Andrea miss the second one. I would just be guessing at this point. Eddie pretends that he’s fine with that because he wants to stay in the competition on merit. Preston and Natalie are out next. For the final round with Nathan and Ondine, they get the chance to look at 4 different lamps before being asked questions. Ondine tell us that the first lamp is from Ikea, the second is one of Jonathan’s own design, the third is some vintage piece but she doesn’t know the designer, and the fourth is from some big box store like Target or something. She should be careful, real designers make things for Target. The question is, which one is most expensive? Ondine goes for the Jonathan Adler while Nathan thinks it’s the vintage piece. The winner (once we get back from commercial) is Nathan. Wow, he wins everything. Good thing I like him, because otherwise I would be cursing the heavens.

Everyone returns to work with one hour left. Andrea’s lamp falls apart after she’s hung it, and she takes it down. She’s stressing out and doesn’t know what she’ll do for a replacement. Ondine somehow tips over a can of paint onto the floor. She’s freaking out about how there’s stuff all over the place and she doesn’t think she can get done.

Back in the apartment Andrea calls home. Well, they show her with the phone, but they never show the conversation. In the morning Natalie is feeling pretty good. Andrea, on the other hand, is convinced she is going home. She’s tired of being harped on, and Eddie suggests she just ignore them, or something.

90 minutes to work. Eddie is still painting lampshades. So the reason he didn’t include himself in his “perfect person”? Is because he wants to make 20 clones of himself so they can all run around and get things done because they’ll know what he’s thinking. Because he can’t get enough of himself. I can though. He does admit that sometimes he can. Preston’s hotel is supposed to be in space, so he’s bought square picture frames with pictures of stars, and then some silver spray paint. Natalie’s hung a handle for her hydraulic floor, which is just decorative. It no longer looks like a strip club. Eddie helps Andrea put down silver tape. She and Ondine are really starting to freak out, and then Ondine trips over a can of black paint that for some reason is on the floor by Eddie’s room. Black paint all over the side of the (white) buffet and (white) sofa. Oh no. As we see this disaster, Nathan interviews that when Ondine has a bad day “it’s like the Roadrunner on acid.” It was a total accident, but remarkably Eddie doesn’t start yelling about it, although I totally would.

Kelly makes up for her absence last week by wearing a miniskirt dress that seems to be made out of purple balls of yarn. With a green and white knit cap, purple socks, and green pumps. Like a Muppet gone wrong. Oh, sorry, the cap is not knit, it’s fabric in pleats. Even worse. Natalie: she’s got that hydraulic system, so the floor is supposed to move up and down to the different levels. Of course she can’t make something like that (no one really expects her to, I’m pretty sure). The walls are orange and the back wall is silver. There’s a rug on the black floor, and an elevated platform with come chairs. There’s big black shelving unit screening the sitting area from where everyone is standing. She’s only got one level on display, so the whole concept doesn’t really shine through. Dining table in the corner, and round artwork. The orange isn’t something she’d use all the time now. Ondine: gray walls with a big white square fireplace. Inside the fireplace is a big tube, lit up from the inside. There are 4 box fans mounted in the walls, and some photos also. A white sofa and white chairs, a coffee table, and some black grids for screens. The wall behind the sofa is pink paisley, with two huge florescent lights, because in her future there isn’t any natural daylight. A side table holds some sad looking potted plants. Eddie: the blood spatter is muted by a red fireplace, and the lower half of the walls are solid red. There is a big white sofa (and you can still see bits of the black paint) with black pillows and lamps. There’s some gold artwork, which I think are exhaust fans that are painted, and some tubing. Also there are two red chairs. Big gold squares are on the side walls which help with the spatter. He explains the paint accident. The tubing thing on the fireplace is supposed to be DNA, but Kelly asks if it’s a sperm, and it doesn’t look like DNA but it sure as hell doesn’t look like sperm either. Nathan: black walls with orange accents. The back wall is covered in white circles, like bubbles. They look almost like paper plates with black borders. On one side wall are antique plates on display. He’s turned a cat scratcher into a coffee table. The seating is wicker and leather. Andrea: pink walls (they might be Pepto-Bismol) with a round mirror but also a pass-through cut into one wall. A white table with natural wicker chairs, and some white shelves. A wicker chaise lounge and a zebra hide rug. The pass-through is supposed to be a replicator. She’s cut doorways into the walls, which is cool. Preston: there’s a short half-wall dividing the dining space from the sitting area. The dining space is white with a round white table and red chairs, and metal shelves with plants. The wall is covered with shiny fabric so it reflects the light. There’s a leather lounge, a coffee table, and one chair. The dining area has stacked molding, like siding.

Jonathan says they won’t tell anyone who won because they want to grill everybody. Preston had originally planned to paint his molding another color, but he thought with the red chairs it would be too much. Kelly thinks he should have concentrated on one room, but it was still pretty good. Kelly loved Nathan’s room but it was too cluttered. He knew that, but he wasn’t sure how to get rid of anything without the room looking unfinished. Margaret tells everyone she didn’t think it was futuristic, but India is all, well I agree with Kelly, so everyone laughs. Ondine has big ideas, but she can’t always make it work. She made the fireplace her focal point, because she wanted a traditional room but with a twist. Kelly wishes she had like 16 fans for a focal point. Margaret was reminded of a city bus but the fans. Eddie stepped out of his comfort zone, which Jonathan loved, except for the blood spatter. Kelly liked the accessories but comes out of nowhere to label it “granny gone wild”. Eddie giggles and asks if that’s a video, to hide his anger I’m sure. Natalie’s theme was great, but the execution didn’t follow through. The bookshelf wasn’t planned out that well, because she had a problem that she only figured out after she built the stage. Oops. Andrea’s module pod idea was great but the room itself was too much like a normal modern room. The table and chandelier were too big and ended up being the focus when they shouldn’t have been. She laughs about her Ikea light disaster but no one seems amused.

Margaret starts us off by saying she’s disappointed in Natalie, even though she had a theme. The execution was sad. Jonathan thinks she is talented but too green. Andrea had a better idea, maybe, but India felt it was a cop-out. Keep all the “futuristic” stuff outside so your room can look like any other room. Margaret didn’t get the replicator thing, and Kelly pipes up to say she liked it, and Margaret pats her on the arm all, I know you did sweetheart, grownups are talking now. Andrea is trying. Preston’s rooms are always finished every time. Eddie never listens to criticisms, according to Jonathan, but Margaret thinks he’s moved away from “granny”. Ondine’s rooms always have a mood, but this one has no polish. She has a problem with execution just like Natalie. Kelly and India think Nathan’s room is futuristic, but Margaret has a sour look on her face, and she doesn’t really agree. Nathan is actually able to execute all his ideas.

Preston is the winner this week. Nathan and Eddie look irritated. All three boys get to leave. Natalie stopped short of being innovative, Andrea was her old boring self, Ondine didn’t bring it together. Natalie is out. She makes it backstage before she loses it. She knows it’s the beginning of her career, so she’s excited about that.

Next week: everyone freaks out, Eddie goes crazy. I have no idea what is going on.
Clicky clicky

Project Runway 10/15/08--"Finale pt. II" summary

Previously on Project Runway: the producers wanted to get rid of Jerell, but he kicked ass, so they let him win but then refused to eliminate anyone. So all four of the designers had to go make collections, and then show up to New York to compete one last time. Including Jerell. When they left, Heidi told them each to make a wedding gown, which isn’t too weird. The home visits were fun, and not that exciting, except that Kenley either has no friends, or didn’t want her friends to meet Tim. Which can’t be true, because if I was a designer on this show, and Tim was coming over, there’d be a line around the block. (Kmanpat: “True dat.”) Anyways, when they all get there, Tim tells them that of course the wedding dresses aren’t enough, they have to make bridesmaid dresses too. Jerell’s wedding dress and bridesmaid dress combo are deemed the worst and he’s sent home. You thought I was kidding before, with the producer thing. May I remind you of last season and Chris and Rami. He still got to show, so that was a great thing. (click for more)

With 3 days left until the show, everyone is getting ready to get to work. Korto is sad Jerell went home but I’m sure she’s glad to still be there. Leanne reminds us it’s a PR first to have 3 women left. Weird, it is. Oh well.

In the workroom Tim welcomes everyone and gives them two important pieces of information. He reminds them they will be able to present 10 looks, and then a dubbed-in voice over says “You’ll need to edit two before the show.” so…were their wedding dresses not supposed to count in the 10 they were told to do? Were they originally told 12? Or 11? Whatever, doesn’t matter except it explains where the extra looks came from. The second thing is that they all need to go to model casting right now.

Model casting goes as well as can be expected. Not exciting. Korto wants girls with hair. Some skinny girl says she’s tall, and she looks kind of familiar but I can’t place her. Leanne asks for an alien-looking girl. Kenley for some reason is telling Leanne who to pick. Shush. Then Morgan walks in. MORGANZA!! Oh, I miss her and her drama. She made season 1 so much more interesting. Now I can’t be bothered to remember the models’ names. She can still walk, even. No one seems to care, and Kenley is all, she better not act up or anything, all fake threats.

Tim time! Kenley is up first, and Tim confirms that they were told to make 12 looks. She shows him her look that seems to be a repeat of her New York inspiration outfit, that one with the high neck and long sleeves and the diagonal cut in the skirt with two fabrics. Tim critiques the black rope she has as a divider between the two fabrics. Upon closer inspection she’s made the smaller swatch into rosettes. Sigh. He says it’s contrived. She insists on disagreeing. “My decisions are final, and I’m done with it,” said in a bratty tone of course. Kenley, hon, you’re erasing all the good will you might have earned last week. Her signature dress is her wedding dress, the one that she copied from Alexander McQueen. Tim is all, sure about that? And she’s like, um, duh, they loved it. Tim responds with “Is THAT your interpretation from yesterday?” Awesome. He reminds her about how it’s a knock-off, and Kenley gets her defensive pants on and says that they’ve done that four (!) times already, and she’s sick of it because it’s insulting. Four times?! And she still thinks there’s no truth to it whatsoever. Won’t even admit that they’re right, the looks are similar, but she didn’t copy. Now we are approaching Keith territory. Tim just does an eyebrow pop and is like, it’s on your head. As he walks away the look on his face is priceless. Korto has 11 looks, but her bridesmaid dress doesn’t count. She knows that her wedding dress wasn’t well received but she loves it. Tim won’t give her advice on what look to throw out. Leanne can’t make up her mind at all. Her least favorite look is her only pair of pants, so she doesn’t want to ditch it. The pants need work too. Kenley calls Tim back over. Apparently, the final judging, where each designer gets one model with one look to stand by them? Those looks are their “signature” looks and are supposed to represent them. So Kenley’s plan is to have her “signature” model wear something else, but still run the wedding dress last for impact. Well at least she gets it a little bit.

Working, Kenley says to Korto that she doesn’t care, she’ll use her wedding dress. Korto is cutting hers because she knows that it wasn’t that great. She’s cutting her bridesmaid dress too, so now she has to make 2 new looks. She’s glad to listen to the judges but she’s annoyed at having to do so much work.

In the morning everyone goes to meet Collier to do makeup consults. Nothing super interesting happens.

Back at the workroom it’s fitting time. People are fitting, although Korto is still sewing and she’s only halfway done with the one dress. She’s hoping she doesn’t have to do a lot of alterations. Leanne’s fitting some clothes on a black model, which is overlaid with Kenley in interview saying that Leanne doesn’t know how to use color and her collection is boring. Leanne responds by calling Kenley’s collection “Holly Hobbie” and “amateurish” like someone’s children have been painting on it. Nice. Korto still has one look to make, and it’s midnight.

One day before the show, and it’s time for hair consults. Korto has giant fake buns. It makes me giggle.

Korto is still sewing. More fittings. Korto tries one of her new dresses on her model. Kenley has noticed that Korto is stressed because her new clothes have to be perfect. I kind of expected her to insult Korto’s clothes but she doesn’t. Korto thinks she can finish. One of the models brings her dog. Oh. Oh no. the dog poops on the floor while the model laughs. Girl, if your dog ruins someone’s clothes you cannot imagine the firestorm headed your way from the internet. Even Kenley. Tia (the model) picks up the poo while still wearing Leanne’s gown, which I’m sure took a few years off Leanne’s life. Tim appears for a gather ‘round. Kenley will go first, then Korto, then Leanne. Tim is so proud! He manages not to cry this time. Group hug!

Everyone gets up at 3am (!). I think everyone is nervous. Everyone thinks they will win. Inside the tents, they get their first look at the space and start freaking out. Kenley is crying because her parents are coming and they haven’t been in her life for 3 years.

Now is the frantic working time of the show. Everyone’s got students to do last minute sewing. Korto immediately puts her students to work sewing, while Kenley tells us no one can touch her clothes because these students don’t know how to treat her painted fabric and she acts like they’ll tear things on purpose. Shots of celebrities! Oo, there’s Nick. One of Leanne’s tops is limp and it doesn’t fit right anymore, so she’s forced to swap out clothes. The model is in tears. Tim points out that this is her “signature” model so it has to be perfect. Korto is glad to have added her new pieces. No one is screwed by any late models.

Show time! Heidi greets everyone, looking actually demure in black. Weird. Usually she’s got something more crazy going on. Kors is wearing sunglasses inside. Heidi tells us that Jennifer Lopez was supposed to be the guest judge, but she had a foot injury. And let me tell you, she ran in a triathlon like, a week or two later, and Heidi was PISSED, and she should be. So guess who our guest judge is? Tim! Woo! Backstage the three finalists are shocked, but Kenley seems the most worried. She says, “Are you kidding? OK, maybe I should have improved my attitude.” Yeah, maybe. Tim is happy to fill in and promises to be unbiased and works “metaphorical” into the conversation. Kenley says that she was inspired by painting and “fantasy things” and this is her dream wardrobe. She thanks her family for support. Kenley's collection. That rope that Tim critiqued is still in her collection. She wanted everything to be dramatic and unique. The black dress with the feathers has a hem of rope. Her wedding dress seems more limp and saggy than last week. Heavier. The judges seem to be clapping politely, but one can never tell. Korto sasses out and talks about her nature inspiration, and she dedicates the show to her daughter and husband. Then she asks us if she looks hot. She does, I like her dress. Korto's collection. I think Nina says “I like that” to Kors. I can’t read lips though. The white pants have beige piping down the sides. The girl in the long white gown is picking up her feet like a horse because I think the dress is too long. The long green dress is long too but since it’s slit up to her lady parts the model has no trouble walking. Leanne seems to get the most cheering. She calls her collection “beautiful” and she says she’s in love with it. Leanne's collection. That top that didn’t fit right? It’s drooping a lot in the back. The pleats and flaps in all her clothes move really well and make it interesting. You can tell the long blue gown doesn’t fit in the bodice, but in still shots it’s great.
After the show we have the usual round of people praising everyone, where they find someone to say something nice about each finalist. However they do cut the part where people say who they think the winner is.

Commercials. Apparently everyone decided Korto is the fan favorite, but since we’re not having a reunion show this season, she doesn’t get her giant novelty check on TV. Weak.

The judges get some chit chat in before the three girls come out. Everyone has their own identity, and it’s easy to find in each collection. Heidi congratulates everyone for making it this far, but reminds them that only one of them can win. This year in addition to all the product placement prizes they get a year of representation from a design house, I think. Heidi introduces Tim as a “hot hottie” which makes me uncomfortable. Not that Tim isn’t hot and doesn’t deserve a fabulous husband. But Heidi saying it squicks me out. Kors tells Kenley her show had personality and spirit, and praises her for doing all the painting herself. The one skirt/blouse combo he called “playing with separates”. Tim and Nina praise it also, except that Nina tells her that the hand painted silk dress, with the flowers, was too much like Balenciaga. Kors and Heidi agree and Heidi says other people told her that. Kors explains to her that she has to be aware of what’s going on, because even if she doesn’t know, all the editors watching her know. So Kenley brats that yeah, maybe she should do some research. I’m not convinced she never looks at collections, but whatever. Korto gets praise for putting her background into her clothes without making them costumes, and her collection was perfectly cohesive and the colors were fabulous. The short taupe dress with the big sleeves, was one that Tim loved. But both Nina and Heidi tell her that some of her looks are overlooked. Leanne explains that her top was over steamed and stretched, but Kors likes the tone she set. The workmanship was perfect, and her range (shorts, pants, skirts, jackets) was very broad. Heidi loved to see the petals, which was new, but she and Kors worry they might become a gimmick. Kors gets in one last sound bite and says “You might become known as ‘Petals Marshall’ which sounds like a stripper”, as if he knew what stripper names sounded like. (Kmanpat: “Not female ones, anyway.”) Nina worries it’s too one note. Korto thinks she deserves to win because her show was amazing, she knows she can do it, and she wants the chance to show it. She had to gather herself first before she could get that out. Leanne is innovative, half her collection is sustainable textiles, she has the talent and ambition. Kenley moved to New York because she’s so passionate, she’s good at it, she can take this far.

Time for the judges to have their last conversation. Kenley had the fit down perfectly, and the collection was cohesive. Kors can’t get over the fact that her looks look so much like other designers. Leanne’s clothes look easy, and the fact that she made clothes from sustainable fabrics mean she’s looking ahead to future trends. Their one worry is that she might make petals forever. Korto had great silhouettes, especially when they have details that look easy. But only when not overworked. Also she can dress “many sizes”, although how they saw that in her final collection I’m not sure.

Kenley is out. And Heidi tells her “You’re out” instead of just telling her she didn’t win. She interviews that it crushes her, and no one likes to be called a copycat when they’re a “true artist”. She calls that BS. Look, I don’t know if she is copying or what. But I feel like she can’t even admit that her clothes are similar. The judges tell it’s too much like some other designer but instead of saying, “I didn’t copy” she’s saying “It’s not like that other designer at all”.

Anyways, back to the final two. Congratulations to Leanne! Korto’s head drops. Aww. But woo Leanne! Korto is devastated and sad and disappointed. She says it’s not the last of her, but her heart is bleeding. Aww! I love your clothes! Leanne is cutely excited. She does a dorky dance behind the scrim.

That’s it for now! Who knows when we’ll be back again, if ever. It’s been fun, and I appreciate everyone’s comments. Thank you so much for reading, and when/if “Project Runway” comes back on the air I’ll be back!
Clicky clicky

TAR13, Recap Leg 3, 10/12/08

Welcome to Leg 3! Last time, on And They Didn’t Even Say Hi To Us!, teams raced domestically from Salvador to Fortaleza and end up passing their exit, which took care of the Tina-induced bunching. Mark and Bill have mad computer skills, and Ken and Tina surge into first place. Anthony and Stephanie are eliminated (Toyouke: “Who?”). Yeah, exactly. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Ken/Tina, Team Mom and Dad Evans, arrived at 12:51 PM
2nd – Mark/Bill, Team Ubernerd, arrived at 12:52 PM
3rd – Terence/Sarah, Team Asshat, arrived at 1:13 PM
4th – Aja/Ty, Team Aw Hell, arrived at 1:14 PM
5th – Toni/Dallas, Team Himbo, arrived at 1:15 PM
6th – Nick/Starr, Team HSM! *jazz hands*, arrived at 1:17 PM
7th – Kelly/Christy, Team Divorcée, arrived at 1:18 PM
8th – Andrew/Dan, Team Superbad, arrived at 1:22 PM
9th – Marisa/Brooke, Team Southern Belle, arrived at 1:23 PM

Cidade Da Criança, Forteleza, Brazil

So, just to set you up for the drama of this episode, the teams are eating, chatting, mingling, and the divorcées are minding their own business and taking off their clothes. Anyway, Kelly’s sports bra apparently falls off the balcony and she blames Starr who vehemently denies the whole thing, but Kelly and Christy can’t stand her anyway. Oh dear, do I have to deal with this for an entire season? Please. NO.

12:51 AM Ken/Tina (1st)
Clue: Fly 1200 miles to La Paz, Bolivia (Kmanpat: “Hey, we went there in Geometry Amazing Race 5!”), which is 12000 feet above sea level. Then take a taxi to the Simon Bolivar statue and find your next clue in the morning edition of the newspaper in the classifieds section.

12:52 AM Mark/Bill (2nd)
1:13 AM Terence/Sarah (3rd) – Sarah: “I just realized that we’re here to race and that I shouldn’t really care about the other things going on with the teams.” Oh honey, you think?

1:14 AM Aja/Ty (4th)
1:15 AM Toni/Dallas (5th)
1:17 AM Nick/Starr (6th)
1:18 AM Kelly/Christy (7th) – Apparently they think they are the comic relief for the race. Yes, actually, I get great joy at laughing at you every time the Amazing Editors have to find you a clue box or show your taxi pulling away. Keep doing that.

1:22 AM Andrew/Dan (8th)
1:23 AM Marisa/Brooke (9th) – One of them (I can barely tell them apart) says: “Everyone underestimates us, we’ve came in last every leg and we’re still here!” And that means that you’re finishing second to last, ladies. Good job.

Teams arrive at Fortaleza International Airport in the following order:

1-Ken/Tina
2-Mark/Bill
3-Terence/Sarah
4-Aja/Ty
5- Toni/Dallas
6- Nick/Starr
7- Kelly/Christy
8- Andrew/Dan
9- Marisa/Brooke

Teams choose flights to La Paz. Apparently there are two flights, one taking the Amazing Orange Line and the other taking the Amazing Yellow Line. However, we don’t learn how the teams are split or how they land because apparently it doesn’t matter. I sense bunching.

So, teams arrive in La Paz in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Mark/Bill
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Toni/Dallas
5- Aja/Ty
6- Kelly/Christy
7- Ken/Tina
8- Marisa/Brooke
9- Andrew/Dan

Teams then take their taxis to the Simon Bolivar statue, where the kind people of Bolivia have blankets waiting for them! How nice. Brooke is still cold. There is much sleeping and, at sunrise, the putting on of make-up by Christy (who has to fix her beauty mark). Then the ever-so cute and adorable Nick tries to smooth things over about the bra. That doesn’t go so well, and the Divorcées still hate them for no apparent reason.

Oh, and we meet Bolivian Fern. I think her name is Maria. She’s hanging out with Terence and Sarah (Toyouke: “That is the LAST team that I want to have a Fern. I hope she’s related to Lauren and Duke’s Evil Fern.”)

So the newspaper truck arrives, and teams search the paper to find their clue in the classifieds in the following order:

1- Andrew/Dan
2- Ken/Tina
3- Nick/Starr
4- Toni/Dallas
5- Mark/Bill
6- Terence/Sarah
7- Kelly/Christy
8- Aja/Ty
9- Marisa/Brooke

Teams read their clue and find that they must now travel to the Narvaez Hat Stand in the Plaza Murillo. (Kmanpat: “This was the Midpoint Detour of our Bolivia Leg!” Toyouke: “Oh dear Lord, how do you remember this? And why do you care?” Kmanpat: “I wrote it down.”) The teams arrive in the following order:

1- Andrew/Dan
2- Terence/Sarah
3- Mark/Bill
4- Marisa/Brooke
5- Ken/Tina
6- Kelly/Christy
7- Aja/Ty
8- Nick/Starr – who decided to take a taxi to the store. As did. . .
9- Toni/Dallas

Once folks purchase a Cholita Hat to keep with them, we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Musical March OR Bumpy Ride
*Musical March: Teams must travel ON FOOT to Plaza Estudiante, Plaza Bolivia, and Plaza Isabela la Catolica, several blocks apart and collect musicians to form a marching band to take to the Plaza Abaroa to get their next clue.
*Bumpy Ride: Teams must travel ON FOOT to the Mercado de las Brojas and find traditionally built bicycles to ride and use the provided map to navigate to the Plaza Abaroa for their next clue. Oh, and they must wear lots and lots of plumage.
1-Mark/Bill choose Bumpy Ride – and also decide to take a taxi to the detour. (Kmanpat and Toyouke: “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”)
2-Andrew/Dan choose Musical March
3-Marisa/Brooke choose Musical March
4-Terence/Sarah choose Bumpy Ride – and also take the taxi, but catch their mistake early on and drive back to the plaza in order to not incur a penalty. Of course, Terence tries to blame their losing on her. Whatever, asshat.
5-Ken/Tina choose Bumpy Ride
6-Kelly/Christy choose Bumpy Ride
7-Aja/Ty choose Bumpy Ride – Aja, on doing the task: “Aw, hell.”
8-Nick/Starr choose Bumpy Ride
9-Toni/Dallas choose Bumpy Ride – and Toni isn’t doing too well.

CAUTION: U-TURN AHEAD

This is the first of two U-Turns of the race. Teams may choose to u-turn any team they wish (well, the team has to be behind them), but they may only use the U-Turn once during the race. If a team is u-turned, they must go back to the Detour choices and complete the Detour that they did not complete.

After completing the detour, teams arrive at the U-Turn and then get their next clue in the following order:

1-Mark/Bill choose to U-Turn no one – “Bumpy, as advertised.”
2-Marisa/Brooke choose to U-Turn no one
3-Terence/Sarah choose to U-Turn no one
4-Ken/Tina choose to U-Turn no one
5-Andrew/Dan choose to U-Turn no one
6-Nick/Starr choose to U-Turn no one – which is probably not a good move, espevially since Kelly and Christy already don’t like you, and you tried to get Aja and Ty to turn against them as well!
7-Aja/Ty choose to U-Turn no one
8-Kelly/Christy choose to U-Turn no one – but did think they were last.
9-Toni/Dallas cannot U-Turn

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Mark/Bill
2- Marisa/Brooke
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Ken/Tina
5- Andrew/Dan
6- Nick/Starr
7- Aja/Ty
8- Kelly/Christy
9- Toni/Dallas

Teams are now instructed to take a taxi 8 miles to Los Titanes Del Ring, where they will find their next clue. A lot of teams hit nasty traffic in La Paz, and a lot of taxi drivers have no clue where they are going. They arrive in the following order:

1- Ken/Tina
2- Marisa/Brooke
3- Mark/Bill
4- Toni/Dallas
5- Terence/Sarah
6- Nick/Starr
7- Aja/Ty
8- Andrew/Dan
9- Kelly/Christy

And teams come to the second roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who’s ready to pick a fight?
In this roadblock, one team member must don a spandex costume and fight a Bolivian Cholita, who is a female wrestler. Roadblockers receive a lesson in one of two outdoor rings to learn a 6 move routine, which they perform inside once they perfect it. If they perform the routine flawlessly, they will get their next clue.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Ken
2- Marisa – who took two tries.
3- Mark – who took three tries. And oxygen.
4- Dallas – who looks great in spandex, by the way.
5- Sarah
6- Nick – who looks great in spandex, by the way.
7- Dan – who shockingly looks great in spandex, by the way.
8- Ty
9- Kelly

After much hilarity, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Ken/Tina
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Andrew/Dan
4- Nick/Starr
5- Aja/Ty
6- Marisa/Brooke
7- Mark/Bill
8- Terence/Sarah
9- Kelly/Christy

Teams must now take a taxi to Mirador el Monticulo, the PIT STOP of the third leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Ken/Tina – who win a trip for 2 to Cabo San Lucas.
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Marisa/Brooke
5- Aja/Ty
6- Nick/Starr
7- Andrew/Dan
8- Kelly/Christy – who are the last team to arrive. However, Mark and Bill took a taxi when they should have traveled on foot, and are now. . .
9- Mark/Bill


And Mark and Bill are eliminated. Oh, nerds, how I will miss thee. Badly.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Ken/Tina
2nd – Toni/Dallas
3rd – Terence/Sarah
4th – Marisa/Brooke
5th – Aja/Ty
6th – Nick/Starr
7th – Andrew/Dan
8th – Kelly/Christy

Next week: Aja and Ty finally get moody, and teams go wind surfing and arm breaking in New Zealand! Until next time. . . Clicky clicky

Leanne-- Fashion Week collection

The early rumor is that Leanne is the one to beat. You'll see why. (click for pics, same as before)

When I keep talking about flaps, this is what I mean. That skirt looks so cool, and you wonder how you would sit in it, but it's still cool. Plus having the flaps only on the skirt doesn't make it overwhelming. Good thing I like this blue, that's about as much color as there is.













That shape of skirt is only really flattering on someone who doesn't already have that shape. It's stiff and I like more movement in my skirts.















It's so close to jodhpur pants. Like she has two books on her hips.

















Those pants are fantastic. I don't know if I like the little flap on the blouse, like a tab that she was supposed to tuck in but she didn't feel like it. I like the rest of the blouse though.















I'm really glad the top here is so simple, so it won't interfere with the skirt, although the belt might be a bit much. That skirt is so interesting.















I feel like I should know this model. This collar is fun. And thank goodness those are shorts, or else this would be pretty vulgar. But what is going on around her hips? It looks like it's too big.















The bottom of this outfit, the skirt, looks like Leanne's bridesmaid dress. I can't tell if the white piece comes off, if that was an add-on from another outfit, or what. I don't think this is her bridesmaid dress though.















This dress is so beautiful. It moves beautifully and it's gorgeous. Can you believe this isn't her best?
















The contrasting colors make this work. And the flaps are on the top, but since the blue is only on the trim it's hard to see and so it's not overworked at all.















This dress is why I think Leanne has won. This is the type of dress that everyone thinks is perfect, everyone talks about. Every winner has one drop-dead perfect dress that people always think about when they remember that collection. This will be Leanne's.
Clicky clicky