Top Chef 12/8/16--"Southern Hospitality" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: 16 contestants arrived in Charleston, 8 rookies and 8 veterans. Each group had their own challenge (cook chicken for rookies, make shrimp and grits for veterans) and the winners got immunity. Losers cooked in an actual Sudden Death Quickfire. Rookie Jim won immunity, even though there were two women who made more than one dish and he only used the innards for his one dish. Brooke won for making a shrimp scotch egg which looked delicious. Gerald and John Tesar (sigh, he's back) had to have a cook-off to see who would go home. They had 20 minutes to do an oyster roast. Tesar heated cream and oyster liquor and truffles and then poured it over oysters to poach them and then you eat it as a soup. Think about that for a minute. Hot cream with vaguely warm oysters. But somehow he won. Gerald was sent to Last Chance Kitchen. (click for more)

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Project Runway 12/8/16--"An Unconventional Trip" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: another unconventional materials challenge, only this time with metal and also enough money at Mood for real clothes. And it was supposed to be “avant garde” but you know how that usually goes on this show. Erin won, because the universe is fickle. She made metal flower pasties. But now that we've slammed her for a while it's time for her to start getting praised again so then she can win a la Gretchen. Laurence made the same dress with the same shoulder and was in the bottom, but you know they wouldn't get rid of her because Anya. Mah-Jing put some copper mesh and tubing on a denim dress but it was so heavy and also kind of boring, so he was sent home. It's about the right time for him to get sent home. (click for more)

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Top Chef 12/1/16--"Something Old, Something New" summary

One day, this show will come to St. Louis and I will find a way to at least go to an event, if not be on TV. Also one day this show won't be on Thursdays at 8 Central like 3 or 4 other things I would like to watch and also one day “Project Runway” will either get canceled or stop sucking so hard and I can give this show the attention it deserves. (click for more)

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Project Runway 12/1/16--"Bold Innovation" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: there was a helicopter ride and people were supposed to make editorial looks inspired by New York or whatever. Mah-Jing was in the top again but then Cornelius won because of course he did. He just got saved so of course he would win so Erin and Dexter could be mad. Then all of a sudden Heidi started talking about how multiple people will be out and then Dexter and Nathalia were both eliminated. (click for more)

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Project Runway 11/17/16--"A Power Trip" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: loved ones time! Each contestant got a family member to design for. Supposedly it was “design for a new chapter in their life” but that didn't apply to anyone so whatever. Erin made a giant coat and an overdesigned dress AGAIN, but of course she was not eliminated. Mah-Jing made his mom a very badass, androgynous outfit but was passed over for the win so Rik could win. To be fair, Rik had a very cute dress, but I liked Mah-Jing's outfit better. Jenni made a truly terrible pair of pants, so she was eliminated. I didn't think her outfit was great or anything, but I like her better than Erin, so. (click for more)

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Project Runway 11/10/16--"Life Is Full of Surprises" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: we pretended “pop up” meant “have some models stand in a store window for a couple hours”. Everyone got assigned a team and a “color palette” from the hair people. Laurence, Roberi, and Rik were Team Zero Drama and won, Roberi being the winner for a weird-ass skirt but whatever. Erin, Dexter, and Cornelius, Team Super Drama, were the losers. Erin and Dexter ganged up on Cornelius, not like Cornelius is a genius or whatever, but they ganged up on him. Later he and Dexter had a stupid argument, where everyone pretended to regret all the shit they said about each other. In the end, even though the judges knew Cornelius wasn't as bad as his team said, Cornelius was eliminated anyway. But that was just so Tim could Save him. I think the Save is dumb, but it was kind of worth it for how uncomfortable Erin and Dexter looked afterwards. Also I think the judges either knew Tim was doing it, or the producers told him to, and that's why they got rid of Cornelius instead of Dexter. (click for more)

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Project Runway 11/3/16--"Project Pop Up" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: some truly stupid product placement required the designers to design streetwear for the “urban jungle” based on some dumb ride. So there was a lot of khaki. Laurence made another jacket with fancy sleeves and some horrible dropped crotch khaki pants that just looked like her model was wearing a diaper. But everyone was like “oh it's so chic” and gave her the win because I hate this show. Brik tried to blend some prints but they hated it and also he is low drama so he was out. (click for more)

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