Project Runway All Stars 1/11/18--"Damsels in Distress" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: we have to watch people who have been on All Stars before, because that's the gimmick this season: people who have been on All Stars before vs. people who have not. I would argue that All Stars is not so different from regular Project Runway that you need to distinguish between the two groups but whatever. Each group was a team and they either did spring or fall collections. The rookies won, because of course they did. Merline won, because she was told her dress was boring and tried to do a thing with the sleeves and succeeded, I guess. It was a perfectly fine dress, but everyone pretended she had great ideas, instead of having Anne tell her it was boring and then scrambling to come up with something. Casanova made a swimsuit and coverup, basically, and was eliminated. (click for more)

Alyssa is waiting for everyone in the workroom, and everyone freaks out like the Pope is here. It's just the host. She's also waiting with a big pile of junk, and a fire extinguisher to fire at people. OK that part was amusing. “Major” designers are using distressing to make “post-apocalyptic” designs. You must use at least two techniques, and some kind of story. One day.

Anthony sketches a firefighter. There is some interesting storytelling going on, much of which involves fire. Mood is Mood.

Torches and bleach and chemicals are immediately brought out. The workroom smells. Merline plans to make a 3-D garment with wax and paint. Helen is very confident. Stanley was on the all-team season so he's very excited to not have teams. Kelly has bright blue sequins. She's making her own textile (like everyone else) and she's got a lot of work. Anthony hurts himself and is predictably extra about it. Most people don't distress anything in their regular lives and I think aren't big fans. Josh says that Anthony is a “precious lady”. Shut up, Josh. You're both extra but at least he's funny. Anthony doesn't want to do any distressing and people other than Josh are noticing. There is a montage of people trying to say “post apocalyptic”.

Anne shows up for critiques. I don't think most people have distressed their stuff enough. That seems to be the basic comment Anne has. Josh has a bulls-eye that he's going to fire paintballs at. I guess paintballs counts as distressing? Anthony has a story, but not the techniques yet. As she leaves, Anne tells everyone that this is a great challenge, and who knows? If she really likes the winning design, she just might put it in Marie Claire. Come on, Anne. If that's a prize, then it's a prize. Don't dick around with this “I just might” bullshit.

Char might be making a costume. Anthony realizes if his girl is a firefighter, then clearly her dress has to be burnt. He says a prayer not to burn up because it would be embarrassing to lose and then get burnt up the second time around. He ends up having fun burning things. Model fitting. Kelly notices her outfit doesn't look like anyone else's. Her outfits never do. Amanda doesn't think Kelly has distressed her outfit enough.

Runway Day. There are a bunch of people still distressing stuff. Isn't that late? Kelly sews fur over some headphones, which makes me think her look is going to look like

Jay's finale collection. Or maybe she made them from scratch? Candice talks to her about it but then gets all “I can't with you” obnoxious. No one asked you, Candice. Stanley doesn't have any distressing done yet because his dress isn't done yet. Hot makeup guy Scott. I know I haven't really written a lot yet but this episode has been kind of boring. Just a lot of shots of people burning and/or scraping fabric.

Guest judge is actress Danielle Brooks. Candice: so the chyron tells us what distressing techniques were used. Candice's garment for some reason includes fake blood in addition to the use of a blowtorch and a grater. Wide legged pants in a pink and white stripe, and a full bathrobe-looking top that has a bunch of tulle for volume. The top is a light pink with big patches of a darker color. I was going to say burnt patches but this may be the fake blood. The top is tied to expose part of the model's chest. The whole thing looks ragged and sloppy but I guess that goes with the challenge. Char: dark olive green pants with very long legs. The legs have trains, basically. She's burned and grated the fabric, but I'm not seeing the burnt part. The top is a simple jacket with a high neck and a yellow stripe, with torn up sleeves that are different lengths. The back says “DET FIRE DEPT” although the rest of the garment isn't really uniform-like. It fits really well though. Helen: long gown in a dark yellow. It's pretty basic, but there's a long piece like a cape draped over one side and down to the floor. It says she used a blowtorch, bleach, and a utility knife, and I do see what looks like a layer of torn-up fabric over the gown. Almost a knit layer with holes. It's fine if slightly boring.

Ken: long gown in ivory, with a long loose jacket in the same color. Like an open robe, with short sleeves. The bodice and top of the robe is visibly burnt, and then the bottom like six inches of the gown is stained with fake blood as if it's a print. The back of the jacket has blood also, but the model is holding the sides of the jacket away from her and waving them back and forth which is annoying. Kimberly: black dress, knee length with a bunch of extra gathered fabric on one hip that's torn up. Then at the top, the black is low cut (she'd be exposed if that's all there was) and then there is a bunch of rope. As if she made a bikini out of rope that she coiled and glued into a bra. I have no idea, but this is the first I've seen of this look so I'm assuming she's fine. Kelly: shorts and a halter top. The shorts are black and are basically granny panties with knee-length fringe. The top has a weird fabric that she seems to have made with sequins and fake fur in a sort of leopard print, and then black netting over the exposed part of her chest. It's very Kelly. I think the fringe is the same netting as the top but maybe with some gold paint.

Amanda: tight jumpsuit in a weird striped fabric. I'm not sure if it's a print she found or what, but it might be? It's light red with a thick navy stripe, but she's put it sideways so there's a band of navy at her waist and then one right above her knees. The jumpsuit has capri pants and a big keyhole in the top from her collarbone to her navel. Then there's a big robe with big kimono sleeves (basically floor-length rectangles sewn to the body of the robe) and these sleeves are torn horizontally to make a deliberate pattern that I feel like I've seen before in real life. I have no idea about this jumpsuit, though, because it looks knit and the keyhole is edged in gold and there are maybe holes in random spots. Ari: long dark jacket/robe, which the model removes on the runway to reveal a red ombre gown with a sweetheart neckline and thin straps and a train. Both the gown and the jacket have been burnt with big holes to make a gorgeous lacy tattered effect. It's beautiful. Josh: shift dress with a big bullseye on the bodice, that he's shot with blue paintballs. Not red paintballs, Josh? Whatever. Over this is a clear vinyl raincoat that he's dripped yellow wax onto. Just the shoulders though.

Merline: black dress that's been burnt and grated. The skirt is a pencil skirt that is also a mullet hem, so it looks like she cut the front and back to two different lengths and then sewed them together. There's some flaps and extra volume but I can't see it very well. Any time people do a bunch of detail on a black dress I never get a good look at it. Random holes everywhere and a big keyhole in the back. Fabio: tight black leggings, and a very long top/robe over that in a zebra-ish print. The top has a lot of volume, and the bodice seems like the same print but very shiny? A oversized collar in black. It might be plastic and he melted the bodice, maybe. Edmond: very short tight dress in a very dark blue. There's one high, tall shoulder, and then the whole thing is covered in ruffles and torn pieces, some in a lighter blue.

Stanley: gown in puce green, with a simple tank top bodice and three tiers of ruffles. The skirt has big holes burnt in it. Over the top of the gown is a shirt with cap sleeves made out of shiny netting with some black along the neckline. This model is holding her skirt out to her sides too. I don't like this. Melissa: tight gray pants, a white top, and a long dark bronze jacket with a mantle, almost like a capelet. There's also a belt which looks like a long piece of beige fabric wrapped around her waist several times and then attached to the shoulder of the jacket. I'm not sure how any of this is distressed. Anthony: long gown with a white skirt and a red and black bodice. The skirt is stained with charcoal and looks like it has a print in red and black, and it also looks like it's two rectangles sewn at her waist but not anywhere else to make a high slit. There's some black tulle for a ragged effect and the bottom hem is all torn up. The top has the same tulle along one side for volume.

Ari, Merline, Stanley, Char, Kelly, and Anthony are the top and bottom. Anthony wasn't even paying attention. He has a predictably Anthony story about his garment catching on fire and the world ending and stuff. They love it. The distressing he did managed to look so good it looked like it was part of the original print. Isaac says he's “worried” because Anthony did such a great job but thought he was on the bottom. Whatever, Isaac. Stanley has a much more boring story about a fire at the opera. Georgina likes the bottom, but not the shiny net on on top. The top is too perfect and costumey. Isaac doesn't mind the top but he hates the color. Merline says something about aliens. They love the story though? They love how it's 3-D and has volume and somehow fits the story she made up, which I didn't think was that great but I guess it was. Sure. Char says “hip fashionista firefighter”. Isaac loses his mind over pants with a train. The distressing on the jacket is much better than the stuff on the pants, and the lettering on the back of the jacket is “Party City”, according to Georgina. Kelly says her model started the apocalypse. Heh. The weird fabric on the bodice is something Kelly made by cutting holes in a fuzzy fabric she found and then putting in patches of sequins and zippers and whatever. The layering of the fishnet for the shorts didn't show up well, and Danielle is more drawn to the fake headphones she made than the actual garment. Maybe too many ideas. Ari's outfit is intact on the top and then degrades the further down you go. Isaac says everyone has great stories this week. The bottom of the dress looks like Ari made her own lace. They seem to like the color and everything, although there is a weird critique that she went too far? But not really, as far as I can tell.

Anthony made a distressed look, but it didn't look dirty and it was balanced. Ari made a pretty dress, and did a lot of work, but that might be it. They love Merline's simple but interesting dress. I guess? I don't know, you guys, I'm not getting it. But I guess it wouldn't be the first time I didn't get it. Char's dress looked dirty and cheap, but Isaac still can't get over pants with a train. Kelly made her own textile, but it wasn't a great outfit. I think everyone thinks it's cheap. Stanley didn't go far enough, and the underlying dress design is dated.

Ari is in. Anthony is the winner! He shrieks because he's cute. When he gets back into the Scrap Bin, everyone tells him they heard him. Merline is in. Char is in. Kelly is out. Dammit. Stanley is in. I love Kelly. You should have gotten rid of Stanley for being boring. Kelly has consistently had a solid and clear point of view. She's ready for the next thing, and she says maybe this show isn't the thing. True.

Next time: fine dining, partners (I fucking KNEW Alyssa was lying last week when she said that would be the last teams), drama, I'm sure.