Welcome back to the Amazing Race! It’s season number thirty, and the gimmick this season involves competitors! So, like, people who like to compete, which explains the overage of all male teams this season. (Toyouke: “I guess as gimmicks and stunt casting go, "competitors" isn't the worst they've done. I mean, the Internet people ended up being a decent season.“) Oh, and I brought Toyouke along for the snark. Aren’t you lucky? Since the teams of two were predetermined (unlike last season), we’ll be able to do this the way it should be, as in without watching the first episode. The eleven teams for TAR30 are (click for more):
Alex and Conor, The Race Car Drivers, #TeamIndyCar. Alex and Conor are friends and competitors from Indianapolis, Indiana. They are race car drivers. So at least we know they can drive a stick. (Toyouke: “They're just so...generic. They're not super hot and they're boring. If the Race this season is set up to favor physical Alpha Male teams and not smart teams, they'll be around forever. But they don't seem that intelligent.”) They remind me of the hockey brothers, so I expect them to be middling. Prediction: Fifth Place.
April and Sarah, The Southwest Moms, #TeamGoatYoga. April and Sarah are moms from Arizona who run Arizona Goat Yoga, which is yoga with goats: https://goatyoga.com/ (Toyouke: “They're like a weird hippie/farmer amalgam. Physically, maybe fine. Certainly ambitious and not quitters.”) I really think they are going to be quirky, but a I fear a Debbie/Bianca style elimination where they drive to a different country before they realize they are in the wrong place. Prediction: Seventh Place.
Cedric and Shawn, Team Globetrotters Redux, #TeamSlamDunk. They are both retired NBA players and friends. I feel like this is TAR’s attempt to have another Globetrotter team. (Toyouke: “Trying to have Globetrotters v. 2.0. I see you, Amazing Race.”) I feel like because Flight Time and Big Easy have competed three times and not done as well as everyone expected, they wanted to get another basketball team on the show. (Toyouke: “I find it interesting that in the video they specifically state that their fellow players want them to prove they can do more than play basketball. Does that mean the basketball player community is embarrassed about how the Globetrotters never won anything? Sadly I don't sense the same level of bombastic nonsense we got from the Globetrotters. I also kind of feel bad that EVERYONE will compare them to Flight Time and Big Easy just because it's two black men who play pro basketball, even though that's exactly what I just did.”) Prediction: Sixth Place.
Cody and Jessica, Team Reality Show YDC, #TeamBigBrother. The team the show waited for in order to start filming this race. They met on the latest season of Big Brother. And you should know by now how we feel about Big Brother Teams. (Toyouke: “This is the Big Brother team so that's all you need to know about that. Both of them list their occupation as "unemployed". Not even "social media influencer"! Yeah, they bug me just as much as every other Big Brother team.”) They can not go away fast enough. Prediction: Ninth Place.
Dessie and Kayla, The Prerequisite Model Team, #TheRingGirls. Models. Why do there always have to be models? (Toyouke: “Are models really "competitors"? I mean, at the level of all these other teams? Obviously I hate them already. They're every pair of female models ever.”) Yeah. Prediction: Eleventh Place.
Eric and Daniel, The Wondertwins, #TheFirefighters. OMG Firefighter twins. And not just brothers, but they are southern boys from Louisiana. (Toyouke: “I mean they're firefighter twins. I already like them even though they're almost as generic as Alex and Conor.”) I think they will be strong. I mean, Southern Firefighter Twins. (Toyouke: “But they are "Play the game with honor" people. They'll be all offended at the U-Turn and I don't like those kinds of players.”) Prediction: Fourth Place.
Henry and Evan, Beauty and the Geek Take 2. #TeamYale. So, remember Vanck and Ashton from last season? Yeah, they remind me of them, as if that failed experiment wasn’t enough. Henry and Evan are a YDC from LA and are both 22, fresh out of Yale. (Toyouke: “Very book smart and they appear to be fit but they don't really show if they're street smart. They might be too sheltered.”) I’m concerned that they have the intelligence but not the street smarts to not accidentally spend all their money in one place. Prediction: Eighth Place.
Joey and Tim, Team Bring On The Food Challenge, #TeamChomp. If you have ever watched the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Competition on Independence Day, you know Joey Chestnut. Joey and Tim are friends and competitive eaters. (Toyouke: “Freaking Joey Chestnut. Why. I instantly hate them because of the sparkly green outfits a la Rachel.”) So, I guess that there will be an eating challenge this season? I hope it’s a switchback of either the South American meat platter or the ostrich egg. (Toyouke: “Either your competitive eating skills are worthless, or the eating challenges are back, which, screw you Amazing Race for doing that.”) Either way, I think they’ll do fine. Prediction: Third Place.
Kristi and Jen, The Freestyle Skiers, #TeamExtreme. Kristi and Jen are friends and professional skiers. I get a good vibe from them. (Toyouke: “I like them better than Instagram models, but they still don't make any kind of impact on me. But they seem competent.”) They are like a Female Team Who, like they are going to surprise us by being really good. Prediction: Second Place.
Lucas and Brittany, Team Baywatch, #TeamOceanRescue. They are an engaged couple from Miami Springs, Florida where they are both rescue lifeguards. (Toyouke: “Lifeguards need to be in good shape, so that's something.”) I am concerned about the engagement, since it sounds like they haven’t spent much time together outside of work. Prediction: Tenth Place.
Trevor and Chris, Team Classical Rainbow, #TeamWellStrung. The boys are musicians from New York. They are two of the four members of a string quartet of boys known as Well Strung. Check out their YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/WellStrungNYC I do on a regular basis. (Toyouke: “these dorks. I mean...these dorks. They're hot, you don't care.”) I do not. I like them. A lot. Prediction: Winners, TAR 30.
And there it is. Another crazy batch of contestants. Hopefully you were able to tune in on Wednesday, January 3 at 7:00 pm CDT for the hour premiere, but if not, the next episode is at that same time next week. See you with the first recap soon!
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