Monday, September 22, 2014

The Quest episode 8: "The Dragon's Lair"

Previously on “The Quest”: everyone had to flee the castle as Verlox showed up to take over the place. The vizier gave the queen an amulet for “protection” and then promptly vanished for the rest of the episode. The paladins had to split into two teams to create a message out of signal flags, and the girls failed partially because two of them don’t know how many sides a pentagon has. The boys finished first, with Patrick taking the badge. The Fates’ challenge involved sitting in a tree and remembering details about an enemy patrol. Bonnie remembered the most, and then everyone voted for Lina, which is rude because Leticia was the one person who voted for Christian so no one would have to be abandoned. That bugs. Back at the camp everyone is interrupted by noises, and then they run up to a ridge to be super obvious, backlit targets and stare at something we haven’t seen yet. (click for more)

So it’s a dragon. The effects are pretty good, but I’m not sure if they somehow projected something or if they just asked everyone to pretend there’s a dragon. The Queen wants to go down there to the outpost, and after a small protest from Ansgar she mounts up and they all go down into the valley. They supposedly march all night, because they don’t get to the outpost until it’s light out. There are several piles of logs that were buildings, I guess, and some artful smoldering. The paladins help some villagers that are still there, who tell them Verlox released the dragon and all the other villagers ran into the woods. The Queen tells the paladins they must track the dragon. How are you going to track something that flies? Anyway, they walk for a while until they find “the dragon’s lair”. I thought it would be a cave or whatever, but it’s a round hole with a metal grate. You know what it is? It’s the hatch from “Lost”. Ansgar says it’ll be dark soon, and dragons sleep during the day, so they need to do something before it gets dark. What the hell kind of dragon is this, that sleeps in the day and lives in a sewer? You know what, I don’t really care that much. Anyway, there are sacks in the trees with stuff, and they have to build a thing to lock the dragon in. Ansgar explains and then has Crio take the Queen to safety.

This thing is seriously a low stone wall, a hole, and a metal grate with cloth draped on it and then some smoke. Generally the effects have been pretty good on this show and this particular challenge is stretching things, is all. Wait…there is a hole and a grate for everyone? Yeah we’re stretching things. So there’s a mechanism with gears and stuff that you have to assemble. Lots of wingnuts and things, but no instructions. Lina says you can feel the earth shaking. Screwing gears onto a plate is not particularly exciting. Shondo is chanting to ignore everyone else. Lina is really trying hard to finish. Patrick gets his stuff assembled but he hasn’t put the chain on it, so he has to take one thing back off the plate. Andrew seems to have things together, but the chain is moving really slowly. He hopes everyone else’s is slow, which it seems to be. Shondo is still talking to himself. Hee. Andrew finishes about 10 seconds before Shondo, and they howl which is dumb but whatever. Ansgar reappears to tell Shondo and Andrew to help the others, keeping with the storyline. It turns out Lina didn’t have both bags. She left one by the tree! Jeez. Bonnie has her stuff built, it looks like, so the guys pull on the chain to make it go faster. They do the same thing to Lina’s, although she doesn’t have everything bolted down maybe so they have to be more careful. Andrew yells at Patrick about helping but no one seems to care. As they run back to camp Shondo yells for a piece check which is cute.

They get back to camp and Ansgar says they have to camouflage the camp. First they give Andrew another badge for closing his hatch first. The paladins drape branches on the tents while Lina yells about how mad she is that she missed a bag. Lina knows Shondo and Andrew do well in challenges, but there’s more than challenges. Patrick says his gears didn’t line up, but for some reason Andrew doesn’t believe him. Patrick is determined not to lose. Shondo reassures Bonnie, because she’s won two Fates’ challenges.

After dark, the paladins talk about being ready to run at a moment’s notice in case something happens. They talk more about how the vizier is evil, like, we get it. They didn’t even bother to name him. Crio and Ansgar return, and they immediately ask what the deal with the vizier is. Patrick explains about how suspicious he is, which makes me laugh for some reason. They are really into it, to argue about an actor to some other actors. Hee. The Queen appears and says there are dragon eggs. Crio says the Fates will know what to do.

The Queen asks Crio how he knew how to find the temple, and Crio says the Fates always seem to know how to find him. So is that how they’re explaining that? That they’ve supposedly fled the palace and are far away, but the Fates’ temple is still right there? Or was that supposed to be a general question of “how did you find this abandoned temple with mysterious women in it?” Ansgar and the Queen join them in the temple. Today’s Fates’ challenge is to “stop evil before it grows”. You knew when the Queen mentioned dragon eggs that they would be involved.

The Queen and Ansgar both follow Patrick, Lina, and Bonnie out into the woods. There are deep pits, possibly some of the stone wells from earlier. Each hole has an egg, which will “burn” them so they can’t touch it. They have to get it out of the hole and into a net in a bucket. So each hole has an egg, and a wooden plank, and then a metal cage that extends from the floor to the top of the wall. The cage has cross-bars, so you can climb up it like a ladder if you wanted. Oh also there’s mucky water and it stinks. The eggs are huge, like the size of someone’s torso. So you have to take one plank, set it inside the cage like a floor, and then use the other plank to lift up the egg, level by level. Lina and Patrick are both right near the top, when Lina’s egg falls off and back down to the bottom. Oh no! Patrick quickly finishes. Lina and Bonnie keep going, to try and finish it out. Bonnie only gets halfway before her egg falls. Patrick helps Bonnie, because she’s further behind. Lina finishes by herself, and says at least she’s finished on her own. Ansgar and the Queen go back to camp. Ansgar exchanges hand clasps with everyone (you know, where you grab forearms because that is more like warriors or whatever). Bonnie goes to shake his hand and he chides her for not doing it right. Hee.

Patrick tells Andrew and Shondo about the challenge. Well…not really. He tries to spin it that Bonnie did better, because he knows Shondo will vote for whoever did better. Bonnie and Lina both think the other one deserves to be here. Patrick is telling the other two that Bonnie’s fell but she got pretty far. He’s carefully not saying how Lina got almost to the top before hers fell. I don’t think Andrew buys it, but Shondo is just like “we’ll just do our thing”. I think Bonnie should stay too, but I don’t like trying to fudge it. Patrick is also a poor liar so just listening to him, you can tell he’s carefully leaving some things out. I wonder if Andrew and Shondo figured that out.

They all know Andrew is voting for Lina, and Patrick for Bonnie. Shondo ends up voting for Lina. Aww. It’s not that I dislike Lina, but Bonnie was so into it that she lasted a really long time just based on that. Much further than she would have on another show. Shondo interviews that Bonnie is awesome and loyal and has heart, but she just doesn’t have what it takes to defeat Verlox. Bonnie tells Patrick to win for her. Aww. I don’t think she has what it takes either but I love Bonnie. Everyone interviews about how great Bonnie is, which is nice. See, everyone loves Bonnie. I didn’t need to hear any more of her songs though. Bye Bonnie. I think everyone will miss you.

Back at camp everyone hangs out, and the Queen gives her cape to Lina because she’s cold, and she says she will miss Bonnie. I bet she might really. The Queen asks if they remember the song about Ansgar, but they say it wouldn’t be the same. True. Everyone goes to sleep, Crio taking first watch. Why is Crio taking a watch? He’s not a soldier. The paladins offer to help, which is hilarious because Shondo says “Give a holler” and he has to explain what a “holler” is. Hee. Inside the Queen’s tent her amulet starts glowing, because of course it’s evil. Then there are some night-vision shots of Crio from the bushes. Crio falls asleep, because of course he does. Someone/something is wandering the camp, but then the episode ends.

Next time: hopefully someone will wake up and figure out what’s going on.

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