Friday, September 19, 2014

The Quest episode 6: "A Traitor in Sanctum"

Previously on “The Quest”: everyone fails at making that giant crossbow weapon while Ansgar fights an ogre single handed and looks hot. Christian decided to scheme and throw the challenge (which was to barricade and then break down doors). Asshat. So of course his team lost, because he picked a lame team, but then he lost the Fates’ challenge (run through the woods wearing a cage). No one wanted to support him after he was a jerk. Woo! Weirdly I am fully behind everyone on this show playing with “honor” and “integrity” and all the things I hate on Survivor. Patrick gave himself a black eye and then sprinted out to “save” Bonnie when she fell even though she ended up being fine. That’s what I want to see. Lina won the challenge, by the way, because Shondo said she’s the smallest and she kept up so she deserves to win. After some chores (and another of Bonnie’s songs) everyone freaks out because there’s a “spy orb” flying around. Spying on them, I guess. (click for more)

I know I spelled Saenctum differently before but “Sanctum” is what Hulu says. I’m sure it’s nothing but that kind of thing bugs me.

Even the announcer says the team challenge was “marred” by a “selfish decision”. No one liked Christian. So only Leticia voted for Christian, because she thought everyone deserved one person to vote for them. Shondo voted for Bonnie, as did Patrick, because they respect her heart. It’s sweet.

The spy orb is clearly projected on the wall, but it does look cool. Ansgar takes Adria, Leticia, and Andrew to look for things. Crio takes everyone else to look somewhere else. Someone finally sounds the alarm. Of course no one finds anything or anyone, until the vizier starts shouting. When they catch the guy, he’s SUPER suspicious. Like, just this guy in two or three cloaks with a hood. He doesn’t blend in at all. Some of the guys hold him, which seems like something they would discourage (not knowing if the paladins are TOO into it). Ansgar takes an egg-shaped glowing thing out of the guy’s hand. It’s a short glowing cylinder and rounded spiky ends. He says it’s a “fire orb” and like a bomb, I guess. “Disarming” it means twisting the end, seems like. When Ansgar is doing it, Shondo’s face is perfect. He’s really bug-eyed like it might really explode. Ansgar says the guy’s belt is missing seven orbs. They take off his hood and of course the guy is super pale and looks creepy and non-human. Ansgar calls him by name (Herra possibly?) because Ansgar knows him. They take the guy to the dungeon and he sends the paladins to search their rooms and the common areas. Of course they find nothing. They quickly figure out there are seven of them left, and seven orbs. Plus how does Ansgar know that guy? Bonnie doesn’t think she can sleep. Hee.

In the morning, none of the paladins has found anything. Ansgar tells them some random NPC guards found three of them, so there are four left. Everyone interviews about how Verlox is getting bolder and is about to get them or whatever. Out in the courtyard is a guy with a falcon. Nice. Ansgar points out a row of…bird masks, I guess. You know those pictures of bird masks from the Black Death? That the doctors would wear because they could fill the beaks with incense and they thought they could fool Death into leaving them alone? Like that. He says if they put those masks on they can see what the falcon sees. There’s footage of a drone, I guess, that they flew around the castle. When they find the orbs they should bring them to Ansgar. Only four orbs, so that allows them to have three losers.

The bird flies off, like they are going to get real-time footage or something. The flying footage is really great though. Andrew quickly recognizes the Battle Dome and runs off, with Lina right after him. Neither of them saw an actual orb, but as we’ll see, you could watch that all day and not see exactly where the orb is. Shondo and Patrick run down to the moat. Leticia follows them down but she takes off somewhere else. Bonnie gets distracted by watching the footage. Adria is last, so she waits for the furthest location, assuming everyone is going to the closer places. Good thought. Lots of rummaging around places. Andrew hears Lina and freaks out. Adria knows she has to be smart. Andrew I guess ran by a door, and then he sees Lina go in. He realizes his mistake when she finds it before him. Go Lina! Leticia and Bonnie make a deal to tell the other person if they find anything, I guess so they don’t waste any more time looking in that same spot. Lina thinks Leticia will be next. Leticia completely misses it, just like Andrew did. Bonnie finds it instead. She is so proud of herself. Adria is still standing around, but she’s not near where Bonnie and Leticia were. She assumes someone’s beaten her to it, and so she leaves. There is an ominous shot of a pile of barrels and burlap sacks, and I watch enough “Amazing Race” to know there’s an orb in there. So I didn’t need the actual shot of the actual orb she’s missed. Thanks though.

Everyone is back at the masks to find a new location. Leticia finds footage of their tower so now everyone is over in the common room and stuff. Shondo finds that one, under a bench. Please tell me they just put it there, because that one is super obvious and come on. Andrew beats himself up because he thinks he didn’t wait long enough to figure things out. Maybe? But I don’t think the footage shows that like, the orb is under this particular bench. Maybe he ran by it again. Patrick is outside by that pile of barrels and stuff where Adria was. He finds the last orb. I think the footage is on loop, because Adria and Leticia are in the Battle Dome, looking for things. Andrew says if this was a mission he would have gotten everyone killed. Adria is so angry she was right where Patrick found the last orb. Lina gets a badge for being the first person to finish. She and Leticia have visible makeup on and I’m really impressed they still look good and not sweaty. Maybe they took a break.

Ansgar takes all of them down to the dungeon to ask the traitor stuff. Shondo looks super mad like he’s going to break some skulls. This guy…this guy is so clearly evil. He’s pale with dark veins and everything. Ansgar asks if this is payback for saving his life (?) and Herra is all “You don’t understand anything” and “He’ll be here soon” and other creepy things. He does say there’s more than one traitor, since he isn’t the one who poisoned the queen. Ansgar and Herra look intense and stare at each other. Ansgar tells Patrick to look in Herra’s cape, and they find map pieces. Everyone interviews about how this guy is “feral” and whatever. Then they all leave so I guess no medieval torture devices today.

The paladins try to assemble their map, while Bonnie hollers about edges and Adria tries to figure out what it’s for. However Adria also says the map is “torn up” to protect it, while it is clearly cut neatly into rectangles. The paladins fail at making this map. They think it’s incomplete, or that it’s two maps, but I think it’s more likely they suck at puzzles. Crio says the Fates asked for the pieces, so he takes them all and bails. Adria is upset about having to face the Fates’ Challenge. Bonnie and Patrick promise to support Adria. Shondo howls and says he votes however he damn well pleases, which is based on who has performed. Andrew feels lonely, because “I proved I don’t have what it takes to be the hero, the real hero’s not impulsive”. Aww, his reasoning is in-universe!

Everyone is ready to prove themselves. The Fates successfully assembled their map. They have a row of swords with circles on the hilts. They have to sort them so they can shine a green laser light through all the circles to hit the map. This will show them where Verlox is coming from. Why would the Fates ask for this performance if they already know this information? Because they would have to know it to design the swords…ah, no one cares. Leticia tries to get her laser to work, but I guess it doesn’t turn on until you’re ready. In addition to the swords being different lengths, the holes in the ground are different depths. Andrew is rushing of course, and he thinks he’s finished. Nothing happens though. Adria does the same thing, stopping to wait for something to happen, but she’s wrong too. I mean really wrong, from the side it’s pretty obvious. She hasn’t been putting the swords all the way in the bottom of the holes. Andrew has slowed down some. Andrew actually finishes first, and his laser turns on. Stupidly there’s a big glowing crystal and a lens, but the light does not involve either of these props. It’s coming out of a box that the crystal is sitting on. Come on you guys.

Bonnie tells everyone Adria has her back and shows loyalty. Lina respects Leticia. She’s nervous because she doesn’t know who Andrew and Shondo will choose. She thinks Shondo will get rid of Leticia for being a threat. I don’t think Shondo operates that way. Bonnie doesn’t like to compare different skill sets, which is difficult.

Bonnie and Patrick vote for Adria, while Shondo and Lina vote for Leticia. Andrew is the tiebreaker again, and he votes for Leticia. She’s pretty relieved. Adria hugs Bonnie and Patrick goodbye. The Fates tell everyone it’s going to get harder, and that Verlox approaches from the west. Leticia says goodbye too. This was a hard one because I like both of them. Adria wanted to win, but she knows she made mistakes and is really disappointed. But she knows someone will do a great job.

Back in the castle, Andrew interviews that he had to break up the Adria-Bonnie-Patrick triad. Sigh. I like you Andrew, don’t ruin it. Shondo reminds us he votes on performance. Everyone hangs out in one room and talks about Verlox and learning to be ready and are much nicer to each other than the top six of any other show. Leticia points out there are three guys and three girls, which is actually pretty great. Ansgar brings all of them drinks in the common room and then drinks with them. He warns them not to get tipsy. Hee. He asks about people’s lives back home and flirts. They ask about him, and he says he had a wife “once”. She died in childbirth. Aww. I wonder if this is official Ansgar backstory or if the actor made it up on the spot. He says his sword and the Queen are good enough. Leticia asks him about Herra, and he says they were in battle together, and saved each other’s lives. Then Herra stole some money, so Ansgar kicked him out. Andrew asks what their next move is, and Ansgar is like, get drunk, dummy. Suddenly there’s a big noise and everyone runs outside. They have to grab “supply packs” which seem to be in the common area or something, and then the Queen runs out, and then they’re like “who is that” and it’s Verlox. But we don’t see him yet.

Next time: Verlox is here and probably will say some super cheesy villain dialogue before breaking something. That’s how it goes.

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