Thursday, September 18, 2014

Project Runway 9/18/14--"The History of the American Girl" summary

Previously on Project Runway: for some reason the producers thought they should have their product placement TVs sponsor a runway with rain. Rain. And electronics. Terrible. Anyway this is also the “avant-garde” challenge which means dumb gimmicks. And it will rain, did you hear? Sean and Kini won, because Sean’s dress had dye in it so it would color the dress, and Kini had an upside-down umbrella thing that everyone else compared to Alexander McQueen but apparently that was OK. But Emily’s dress is also McQueen and that is NOT OK. Who knows. Fade didn’t know what to do with himself, so he was eliminated, because when someone has good drama you can consider all their past work. But when someone who does not have drama does something terrible suddenly the judging is only about this week. This stupid show. (click for more)

Also there is going to be ANOTHER season of All-Stars full of people that actively annoy me and have probably learned nothing from the last time. I will root for Chris March until he is eliminated and then I will probably half-ass the recaps even more than I would normally. I am in a bad mood tonight so it’s not going to be pretty.

Sean and Kini are glad to have won, because when you don’t have to give out immunity you can have as many winners as you want. They make fun of Sandhya’s look. Emily really misses her family, but she’s trying not to show any emotion.

Field trip! They end up at American Girl Place, a place I can confirm is creepy. Listen, the Barbie challenge way back when was awesome, and I still have my limited edition Nick Verreos Barbie that I bought. I feel like American Girl is a step down. But that store! The dolls are bigger than Barbies and so they’re creepier, and every display has clothes and accessories for your doll and then a whole rack of child-sized clothing so you can have matching outfits. Not even Barbie has that many matching outfits. Also everything is pink. Not the clothes but the walls and floor and display cases. For sure not anywhere near getting Mattel to be associated with you. I feel like they repeat challenges a lot, in the hopes that they’ll be as awesome and memorable as the first time they happened, and they never are. They should stop doing that probably.

Anyway, American Girl dolls all are from a specific historical period and have storybooks so you can pretend to be educating your children by spending hundreds of dollars on things. Way more expensive than Barbie too. Everyone pretends to be excited. Tim introduces them to Heather Northrop, senior design manager. She talks about the dolls and how you are supposed to learn from history and somehow now they are “freshening” the line. So now it’s “Be Forever” and then a parade of tweens come out. Each doll has a signature look so they are supposed to update that look? Be inspired? Make it modern and wearable? I’m not sure because I’m busy being offended that the American Indian doll has a matching outfit with fringe and a diamond-patterned jacket. Also the non-white girls have non-white dolls, which I guess is cool. So they have to make a “modern, fashionable” look for their models (who look to be about 10 or 11 probably) that is inspired by their doll’s story and signature outfit. So they must have gotten tired of how genre savvy everyone is during the Real Woman challenge. It’s been several seasons since anyone was mean to the fat women, so now they’re bringing in children to see if they can get a tantrum. Wow, I am really cynical today. But I think I have a point. Emily is very confident since she has a children’s line. They’ll get fabric from here and some info, but they don’t have to use this fabric.

Everyone is “randomly” assigned. They give Korina the girl who looks like her which is supremely creepy. Char has never made children’s clothes. Sean discovers he has 1970’s San Francisco. Nice. The girls know all about their dolls which is cool to see. Korina says again (like she did when they assigned models) that she has no idea/experience with children. Char has the American Indian doll and describes her as “a little horse-riding diva”. Hee. She’s making a party dress and a fringed vest. I guess you have to make fringe. Amanda makes it about herself and her pioneer ancestors. And quilts, because of course. At Mood Emily buys sweater material and stuff for a full twirly skirt. Korina is getting her stuff and Sandhya asks the worker how much something is and asks for a yard or whatever. On the one hand, no one was talking right then so it looks like Korina is done, but on the other hand, when Korina is like “I’m still being helped” Sandhya replies “I know” and then reiterates her order. Probably should have backed off, Sandhya. Sandhya interviews that it will take a lot more to break her, which is rich coming from someone that told Tim her group was disrespectful bullies because they wouldn’t listen to her.

When everyone gets back to the workroom each designer has their doll on their workbench. Yeah, that’s not creepy or anything. Kini looks lost. Amanda tries to tell a story about how her mom made her a Cabbage Patch Kid, and how she only played with whatever her older siblings gave her, but I don’t care because it’s Amanda. Also, until your mother decides to make you a Cabbage Patch Kid out of old pantyhose but she can only get the head done in time for your birthday so she gives you A HEAD IN A BOX? You can shut it. Kini played with those troll dolls. Of course. Emily thinks this is hers to win, which it might be because she’s the only one with a decent amount of experience. It’s certainly hers to lose. Char’s excited because she thinks kids need sassy clothes too. Korina has stopped complaining and is making her own print. Kini has a houndstooth coat. Fancy. No dress yet though. Sandhya has her usual crazy shit happening. Currently it’s a pink bodice with cut-out anchors and a big pink peplum.

Tim Time! Sean has a jumpsuit and a denim jacket. He wants fringe on the back of the jacket, but that might be too retro. Tim says no fringe. He loves Emily’s knit for her sweater. She has to make sure the skirt is proportional. Kini’s tweed coat is really nice but underneath he has a white dress that is too mature. Amanda talks about quilts because that is Amanda. She bought some fugly black fabric with brightly colored shapes. Whatever, Amanda. Alexander might be too boring. Char talks about her fringe and Tim looks concerned. Cheap and tawdry. Ouch. Tim knows she doesn’t agree but he leaves good-naturedly. Korina has some weird skirt treatment that looks like rows of luggage tags. I don’t know. Sandhya is actually making a jumpsuit. With a peplum. Tim doesn’t like the crisp tailoring and then a peplum. Sandhya won’t listen, so then he’s just like I don’t get your color combinations and proportions but the judges love you. If you’re confident then whatever.

Kini has some red plaid that he doesn’t like a lot, but that’s all he has. Model fittings. Korina suddenly thinks her model is so cute and she loves her. Sean has to adjust a lot. Kini’s jacket is cute. Char says “cute” a million times. Kini tells Char she’s quiet today, and that he likes the break. Hee. She laughs. Amanda and Sean joke around, and then Sandhya is like “I thought I would make friends but no one likes me.” Actually she says she knows a few of them don’t like her. Honey, who cares if Amanda and Korina don’t like you? Forget them. Kini is bored with his dress so he makes a really stiff ruffled skirt. Korina is behind. Emily has a lot of handwork. This show is half over (…sob) and everyone is feeling the pressure.

Back at the apartments everyone flops down on beds and complains about how much work they have to do. Sandhya is apparently really upset and she hides in her bed under the comforter. Emily is the only one who seems to be near her, as the boys are mocking her appliques. Sandhya insists they’re all there to “be who we are” and that she respects everyone and she doesn’t see why they can’t respect her. Probably because you told them last challenge that they shouldn’t copy any other designers and they should be like you. No one is going to take that well. The boys are mostly wondering why she’s always in the top, which I wonder also. Emily says people are frustrated with the judges, as are the viewers, but Sandhya is taking this personally because they’re all artists. Well…I can see that. But still. I think people are not aiming their shit at the judges where it belongs.

Runway day. Sandhya claims to be ready to go today. Whatever. Too much work left to do. They only seem to have one hour. Amanda loves Char’s look, which should tell you something. Hot makeup guy Scott is really cute with the kids. Korina works up until the last possible second.

Guest judge is Elisabeth Moss. Oh and Heather from American Girl. Korina: red sleeveless turtleneck top and a short skirt. The skirt has tabs of red and white sewn in rows, to make layers of rectangular scales. It’s very mod 60’s. There is still a noticeable hole in the back where she didn’t put a tab. Sean: jumpsuit in a gray blue color. It may be a small floral print. Then a sleeveless denim vest with a big peace sign in the jumpsuit fabric on the back. Ehhhh…jumpsuits. Plus the legs look like different lengths. Amanda: pink dress and a coat. I realize I haven’t seen any of this outfit yet. The coat is in a fugly print but whatever. It’s pretty blah. Alexander: pedal pushers in a red fabric with small white polka dots, and a sleeveless loose top in a floral print. It’s cute but there’s something wonky going on with the waistband of the pants. Like it’s way too wide or something. Plus there is a HUGE dark visible seam up her butt, that is not OK.

Char: red and blue dress in a cool fabric. The red starts on top and then there are little squares of each fabric, and blue on the bottom. The vest has long fringe that is trimmed so it’s longer on the sides, and it’s really short in the back. It’s fun. Sandhya: pink jumpsuit. It’s kind of shiny, and then there’s the peplum, which is really short and ruffly, and the pants look like they’re too big or they don’t fit close enough to the leg. Then the sleeves are puffy. You know what it looks like? Someone in a pink wetsuit with arm floaties and an inner tube. Oh I was wrong. It’s possibly a spaghetti strap top and a shrug thing with sleeves. Plus she has a big visible zipper up the back of her pants too! Kini: red plaid dress, or top and skirt, and a black and white houndstooth tweed coat which is awesome. The skirt has a big ruffle, like a long peplum, but it’s fun. I really like it. Emily: a cardigan with a shawl collar, elbow length sleeves and one button, and then a peplum. The sleeves are tight until the elbow and then there’s a bell. The skirt is pretty full, a gray silk, with several tulle petticoats in pink and purple. Plus it’s a mullet hem. The silk is anyway, the tulle is longer so you can see all the layers. It’s almost like the tulle is a normal length with a silk mullet hem on top.

Amanda and Alexander are safe. The models bring out their dolls so you can see the inspiration, I guess. Sean says his doll’s mom owns a thrift store, so that’s where the retro stuff came from. It’s not funky enough. Plus the peace sign is cliché and he did it wrong. It is like an upside down Y, so it’s missing the center piece. His model likes it. He should have done more with his 70’s inspiration, instead of making something safe that looks homesewn. Korina’s girl is from the 1800’s, so I’m not sure why her clothing looks so 60’s. But they love it, because whatever. The underside of the tabs is yellow. The tiered skirt is why there are tabs. Listen, I think it’s a cute outfit, but I don’t see what it has to do with New Mexico in the 1800’s. Korina pretends she never said anything about not getting kids. Sandhya’s model likes her jumpsuit, but it’s so young and the exposed zipper up the back makes it look even more like a onesie. Sandhya argues with the judges, which is generally the kiss of death. It’s cute for a baby. She says thanks for the feedback but she still likes it. Kini says his doll is rich, so what would a rich girl buy now? Nice. Heidi says Chanel, and then Zac says Westwood, but you know Kini won’t get in trouble. I still like it. Actually I would like an adult sized version for me. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t “inspired” by various people, and if you’re going to nail others for “being inspired” then you have to nail him too. Char’s model loves the fringe. All children love fringe, says Nina. Plus it’s age-appropriate. That’s true, a 10 year old could wear a vest with long fringe and it’s better than a grown person. Emily’s skirt up close looks strange with the different lengths of tulle. Heidi is torn because of the colors. They don’t like the silhouette, which is true because the skirt is very full and she doesn’t have a waist. The colors are dark. Zac claims to have a favorite American Girl character. Then I finally notice Emily wrapped some netting over her model’s face. What?

Char’s dress is age-appropriate and really cute. Plus they like the fringe. Tim does not tell the judges he hates the fringe. Korina gets more praise because whatever. I still want Kini’s outfit. Sean’s outfit is boring and they could find it out there right now. Somehow the judges claim they would have liked the jumpsuit in bright pink. Emily’s is too grown up and Heidi hates the skirt, but Zac says at least the sweater stripes line up. Sandhya’s model admits she hates the peplum. Nina says something about how at least the color is more “kid like”, because apparently they might send home the boring but wearable outfit and keep the really ugly unwearable outfit. Sigh. NO KID IS GOING TO WEAR A PINK JUMPSUIT WITH A PEPLUM. Whatever.

Kini is the winner! Nice. He did get “inspired” but whatever. Korina and Char are safe. Sean is in. Sure, OK. Emily is in. Wow, they got rid of Sandhya. I wasn’t expecting that. She’s glad that at least she went home on something she was proud of. Back in the Scrap Bin people pretend to be sad. Not everyone is pretending, but you know Korina is. Tim reminds everyone that everyone here is very talented so being eliminated doesn’t mean you aren’t talented. Sure.

Next week: you have to find random people in the park to be your model/muse. Weird. Tim says something is really hideous. Char flips out and Korina is bitchy about Tim helping her.

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