Project Runway 8/29/13--"Shoes First!" summary

Previously on Project Runway: everyone had to go outside and pretend to like it. Then they had to make “high fashion” looks inspired by the outdoors but not looks you can actually wear outside. Jeremy tried to manipulate the judges with a letter to his husband, although I did like his dress better than what actually won, which was Alexandria’s dropped crotch capri pants. Whatever. Justin tried to make plastic lace out of hot glue and put too much of it on his dress. He was eliminated but Tim used his save and saved him. I saw several comments on the emotional manipulation of this move, and that this was all set up because Justin is deaf and it’s heartwarming to save the nice deaf guy or whatever because deaf people can do anything. I hate to say that I wouldn’t put it past them. I mean, I thought for sure they would let Jeremy win when his husband’s grandmother died. So I’m sure this is part of their story. Everyone can save their anger for when someone good is eliminated and Tim can’t save them. (click for more)

Justin is grateful for his second chance. Duh. The rest of the morning conversation is that same sentiment stated in a million different ways, interspersed with people who want to win.

Heidi has some gladiator sandals on to distract you so you don’t notice her dress is the exact same color as her skin. Justin says he’s glad to be back, and if he seems like he’s still choked up about it, remember they film this part in the afternoon right after the elimination so all that stuff from the Scrap Bin just happened like, less than an hour ago. Heidi makes a bad pun and sends them to Marie Claire. Dom claims she guessed the theme at this point.

The Marie Claire closet has a giant wall of shoes. A lot of them are ugly. Tim welcomes them and introduces the editor-in-chief. I really want them to pull out like, a purse from behind a rack and ignore all the shoes. Just because. But no, they will be inspired by shoes. Because women love shoes, you know. They pick out their shoes first before their clothes. Whatever. Dom thinks this is pretty straight forward but wait, there are buzzers on the floor. Quiz time! Ha! Ken is nervous because he’s self-taught. Good. Not all the shoes are up for grabs, only the ones they have in multiple sizes. Alexandria doesn’t have to take the quiz, because she won last week. Nice. She picks out some knee-high gladiator sandal boots.

Of course Ken gets the first question right, and immediately snots that it’s embarrassing all these educated people don’t know anything. Shut up, Ken. He takes some gladiator sandals, but short ones. Jeremy goes for knee high black boots. Karen takes some heels with thick elastic straps. Helen has had her eye on some black boots with studded toes. Kate wants weird orange plastic swirly deals. Alexander takes boring beige wedges. Justin has some print platform heels but his answer was “Kinky Boots” which is funny. Of course he knows Broadway. We are down to Miranda, Dom, and Bradon. Bradon takes flat gold smoking slippers. Dom gets some platform brogues in bright colors. Those are ugly. Miranda wisely avoids the metallic blue hi-top sneakers and takes some red smoking slippers. They have 20 minutes to sketch. Kate’s shoes are like, orange plastic spirals without soles. Like, they just spin around your foot, and there’s a heel but part of the bottom of your foot is exposed. A lot of people seem to be repeating whatever the shoes are like. Gold shoes means gold fabric. You get the picture. Miranda is going for plaid as is Alexander.

Time for working. Alexander realizes Miranda is also making pants with her plaid, like he was planning to, and he freaks out. He knows if he makes pants too, the judges will compare them and one of them will lose. Alexandria is realizing her boots/straps go up almost to her model’s crotch. Ken says something about proving himself. Bradon hand ruches his fabric so it looks wavy and “bubbling”.

Tim Time! Alexandria is trying to make her boots cute. It seems to be a black dress. Well, but those boots are crazy, if you make a crazy dress, then that’s too much look. Justin thanks Tim for saving him, who says “You need to be here”. Uh huh. His colors are too matchy with his shoes. Miranda has a jacket that is similar to her houndstooth jacket and that crop top she got in trouble for. Her blouse fabric looks cheap. Tim pretends to Alexander that no one will compare his plaid pants to Miranda’s plaid pants. Ken says something about a coatdress maybe? It is dated. I can’t handle his interviews. He bugs me. Bradon’s wavy fabric looks interesting but in the end, it looks wrinkled and it’s making me want to smooth it out. He decides to make just a top and not a whole dress. Kate gives Tim a sketch because she doesn’t have a lot done. Jeremy doesn’t either, apparently. You guys better get on it. I think Jeremy’s idea is a chiffon sweater and miniskirt with knee-high black suede boots. OK. Dom is told the judges will either love it or hate it, but Tim likes that she will walk that line. Karen has matched the colors in her shoes exactly. Not good. Helen is making something simple but more tailored, because she’s gotten in trouble for her tailoring. Tim nixes some fringe or something.

Model fitting. Nothing really exciting happens, which is too bad. Ken asks Miranda about her plaid, and as she talks about lining up the lines and it’s probably close enough and whatever, Ken rolls his eyes at Helen. Then DON’T ASK HER ABOUT HER PANTS. Jackass. Stop trying to act like you’re a nice person if you’re just going to be an ass when people answer your questions. Jeremy and Alexander have some kind of weird fight and I have no idea why. Ken interviews about it but he doesn’t make any sense either, just acts better than everyone. Bradon calls his boyfriend and cries.

Runway day. Miranda only has to put in a zipper. Alexander thinks he can beat her. Bradon has to hem a circle skirt and he wants to do it by hand. Alexander’s model can’t get in the pants because the ankles are too tight so he has to cut them. Hot makeup guy Scott. Frantic working.

Heidi is dressed in her usual tight, short, and shiny. Guest judges are the editor-in-chief of Marie Claire, Anne Fulenwider, and also Kelly Cuoco. Ken: very short black skirt and a black top with a peplum. The top has cap sleeves and is made of leather? Something pebbly? I guess it goes with the shoes. The skirt hem looks bad. Alexander: skinny pants in red plaid, and an asymmetric white top, sleeveless with a crew neck. The front has some origami-type folds that continue down to the bottom of the top. It’s interesting, and the pants seem to fit well. Miranda: because OF COURSE the two plaid pants are together. Miranda’s top seems to be a shell and jacket combo in brighter white than Alexander’s. Her pants look OK, but I think they’re pleated? Somehow they look fuller at the pelvis. And these are also high-waisted, but the top and jacket are cropped so it’s obvious. I think I like Alexander’s better. Dom: short sheath dress with short sleeves, in the exact colors of the shoes. The shoes which are platform wingtips. In teal, orange, and purple. It is terrible. The colors don’t quite go, and the colorblocking is weird, and it’s quilted, and those shoes were ugly to begin with. Justin: he had the printed platform heels. His whole outfit is black, with tight pants and a corset and a leather shrug. I could describe it more, but when it came out Tom and Lorenzo tweeted “Tell me about it, stud.” I don’t think I can improve on that. I lied, there is something weird going on at her hips and it looks bulky.

Alexandria: first of all, either the model has leggings or the boots have kneepads, and one is significantly lower than the other. It’s a short black sleeveless dress with some lace detail at the neck. The sides of the dress are longer than the front. Yeah, those shoes look dumb but I don’t know if that’s on purpose. Karen: sheath dress in black and neon yellow on top. The skirt is just a pencil skirt, but the top is like, a V of yellow and that’s it. I think the sides are open. You can’t tell, because there is a simple jacket and the model doesn’t take it all the way off. Bradon: well, his shoes are flat gold loafer-type shoes. And the outfit is a full skirt in brown satin, and the top with the wrinkles or waves or whatever, in beige. The top makes her look wide. The whole thing looks old. In the top among the wrinkles are some gold bits. Kate: black mullet skirt, or possibly pants with a giant slit up the front of each leg. Which is why it looks like a mullet skirt. And a long sleeved white top with a collar buttoned up to her neck and some terrible buttons. This top looks terrible. The seaming is like, diagonal across her chest, and looks uneven, and the buttons don’t look right, and the two sides of the collar look like different sizes. Ugh. Jeremy: black miniskirt, or maybe a simple black dress. Over the top is a chiffon “sweater”, that looks like a thick cable-knit sweater would look only sheer. Actually it turned out better than I thought it would. The top has a sheen to it, and the outfit looks good with the tall boots. Very 80s. Helen: knee length black dress that is pretty simple, but over the top of it she has a cape? A sweater? It looks like it comes down to her elbows and hits further down in back, but there aren’t armholes. It changes the shape to something more interesting.

Kate, Karen, Dom, Justin, and Alexander are safe. So Dom’s ugly dress and shoes are safe, and Kate’s horrendous shirt. Of course. Is Dom ever going to not be in the middle? Alexandria made a simple dress because her shoes were so crazy. Heidi loves the shoes, and she thinks the dress is “whimsical and feminine” to counter the hard shoes. I do think in real life, you would wear something really simple with those shoes, but this is not real life and I’m bored. Nina says it’s editorial. Zac is not wowed because he doesn’t like those shoes. Jeremy’s top is actually gold sequins, under the chiffon. The cable knit is supposed to match the gold chain on the boots. Heidi doesn’t think it’s modern. Too much going on. Nina wishes he did something “rocker”. Zac is questioning who he is as a designer, which is usually such a dumb complaint. Helen didn’t want to overwhelm her shoes so everything is tailored. Nina wants it, which is how you know it’s great. It’s very classic and refined. Everyone loves it. Miranda’s jacket is white leather and she says “rock and roll” which is weird. Heidi actually asks if she knew Alexander’s print was similar to hers. OF COURSE she knew. She’s not a cool girl, which means Heidi doesn’t like it but Zac does. He says if she’s not going to do “the cool girl”, that’s fine but she didn’t go far enough. Nina says it’s not retro enough either, and the red shoes and red plaid says “Christmas”. Ken wanted edgy, and Heidi liked it so she was surprised when she found out Ken made it. Ha! They all like it but no one will talk about how short it is or how I think the hem is not so great. Bradon tries to argue his satin outfit is for day. It’s very retro. Nina loves the shoes but she wishes Bradon had made something simple, maybe brocade, but it’s so overworked. Everyone really hates it.

They seem to be giving Alexandria extra points because she has crazy shoes? It could have gone wrong so easily? I’m not sure. Ken is mostly coasting on his fabric. Helen’s dress is very simple but they do agree it is well fitted and tailored. Bradon’s top is way too complicated. Miranda’s outfit is not cropped in back. I mean, in the front the top and jacket are the same length, but in the back the jacket is shorter and the top is down to her butt. Jeremy is struggling.

Helen is the winner! She’s got her confidence back. Ken is in. Of course he feels he should have won. Alexandria is in. Jeremy is in. Oh, they love Bradon. So of course he’s in. Miranda is out and she’s pretty upset about losing on an outfit she actually liked. She tells everyone how great they all are and whatever before she leaves. Tim is proud of her. He is really going on and on about how great she is, which is weird and maybe he regrets not being able to save her? Stand by your convictions! Be yourself! That was weird.

Next week: Tim is dressed like a referee which is sad. Wheelbarrow races and an obstacle course, Heidi seems to be in the workroom so I guess we’re designing for her active line again? Ken and Helen have a fight and Tim has to talk to Ken about being a jackass. I hope that’s what it’s about. Kors is here so he and Zac can combine forces.