Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Hell's Kitchen 6/19/12--"13 Chefs Compete" summary

Previously on “Hell’s Kitchen”: Mexican night, the women all hate each other, most people get kicked out of the kitchen, and then for some reason we had to wait until now to see who gets eliminated. Guess we needed those extra few minutes to watch Tiffany get so drunk she mistook Royce for one of her own teammates. (click for more)
Patrick! Back in line! Oo, I was wrong. I thought because the previews for today said that Royce was trying to “lead”, that Patrick was gone. Danielle! She actually is eliminated. Christina is horrified. Danielle says that Kimmie and Barbie are horrible people and she hopes Dana wins. Dana cries and says she’s upset, but Ramsey tells her he’s more upset. Then he makes them yell that they’re ready to fight back and gives them a “fuck off” back to the dorms.
Patrick claims to be “amped” and ready to win. Dana and Christina are seriously in tears upset about Danielle. Christina specifically says she doesn’t want it to get personal. Dana, however, claims there is no more “playing nice”. Tiffany and Kimmie have zero sympathy. Royce smokes and declares Patrick the problem with their team. He then tells everyone that since obviously Patrick’s leadership sucks ass, he is more than willing to be the leader instead. Seriously? If they take Royce over Patrick--let’s face it, if they take Royce over anyone--they are all morons. Brian thinks Patrick is about to snap. He does kind of have that look in his eye. He just yells at Royce, though, instead of kicking his ass. Clemenza is shockingly the voice of reason. Who knew, right? He’s saying they should win, and everyone has screwed up and they need to get over it and be a team.
In the morning, Royce for some reason has decided to flirt with Kimmie. I have no idea. Like, zero. Barbie thinks they can be a team, while Clemenza wants Royce to focus. Ramsey starts talking about France, and how when he was starting out, he thought that French food would never change, but it does change, like fashion. He mentions “trends”, such as creepy Jell-O salad, TV dinners, fondue, Asian fusion. Patrick especially hates fondue. The dishes are brought out by models in period-appropriate costumes. The men seem starved for attention, as they are commenting on how hot the models are. Ramsey declares it “Fashion Night”. Create a tasting menu for three fashion designers: David Meister, Amanda Che, and Ina Soltani. I have never heard of these people. One appetizer, one seafood entrée, and one poultry entrée. David wants swordfish, healthy food, and spicy. Ina says Mediterranean, Amanda says it must be healthy.
30 minutes. Winning dishes will be served at this “Fashion Night”. The guys talk about what they’re doing and seem mostly competent. Dana nitpicks what Christina is doing and they complain to the camera about it. Clemenza is making puttanesca more exciting by putting a ton of crap in his dish. Then he praises Royce for having a good idea. Robyn for some reason doesn’t want to make swordfish, even though the guy said he liked it. Tiffany wants to fry eggplant, and Barbie doesn’t want to set her off again so she doesn’t remind her that two out of three designers wanted healthy food. Robyn is now insisting she wants only salt and pepper on her fish. Guy insists he’ll be done in time and his potatoes will be cooked. I think Guy at least serves his potatoes.
Brian insists his and Justin’s dish of bean salad, lobster, and vanilla and fennel foam is “damn sexy”. However, the foam is gross looking and so the whole dish does not look good. Justin is flabbergasted, but foam is stupid, dude. The foam is sweet and it’s bland. Everyone is bored, and Brian’s faces are hilarious. Dana serves chilled mango broth and crab meat. Visually clumsy and the color is bad, but the taste is pretty good, so the women get the point.
Patrick serves “Moroccan spice-influenced” squab. Then he says it has vinegar which “helps thin the mucus”. What? Hee. It is declared “interesting but no kick”. tiffany: pan roasted squab with eggplant puree and fried eggplant. She gets nailed for the fried eggplant. Everyone knows that was bad. This also doesn’t look modern, which is what they said about Patrick’s dish, but they do admit it is delicious. Point for the men this time.
Guy: swordfish puttanesca with chili, paprika, and saffron. Ina flirts with him. The sauce on the bottom isn’t so great, but they seem to like the flavors mostly. Robyn has seared sea bass with braised kraut? Grape? I think? And micro-basil. The presentation is OK. Too boring and not enough spice. Robyn gets offended and insults the designer, only in confessional of course. Naturally the first two are tied, but in the end the men actually win something. Kimmie is pissed because she told Robyn to put spice in. When Robyn gets back to line, Kimmie tells her she’s pissed, but when Robyn is like “Talk to me”, Kimmie responds that she’s too pissed and don’t talk to her. Well then why did you even say anything to her in the first place? You just wanted to let her know you were pissed, as if no one can tell with your bitchface? Come on. Robyn, in a particularly mind-boggling interview, says Kimmie should have spoken up more. Men (and Roshni) get to go shopping (hee) and wine tasting. Ramsey tells Kimmie she should have been more insistent, which only applies if Kimmie is right. If Kimmie had bullied Robyn into doing what she wanted and then Kimmie was wrong, then Ramsey would be yelling at her to be a team player. Kimmie starts to cry, and this will not help her “I am from the hood” image she likes to have. Women have to redecorate the restaurant, build a runway, make centerpieces, etc. Also there is a “top fashion producer” coming to help them, and if anyone has access to previous seasons, please check to see if this guy is the “wedding planner” and “party planner” and “super stereotypical gay man” they like to have on this show. I think they just cast the same guy every time.
I have to say, some of these guys in their sunglasses and popped collars look like douchebags. Brian lusts after the personal shopper, who looks too much like Sarah Jessica Parker for me to think she’s cute. Shut up Brian. The guys look stupid, but Roshni finds a cute outfit and great shoes. Awww…the “fashion producer” is a woman. The runway pieces are really heavy. Dana compares it to “carrying Clemenza up the stairs”. Hee. Robyn volunteers herself to stay behind and screw pieces together. At first Kimmie stays but eventually she goes out to lift things. Even though Robyn has volunteered herself, she can’t even screw pieces together which is stupid. I can’t belittle her too much for staying behind because if that were me, I would do whatever I could to get out of lifting things. You could try not to be so obvious about it, I guess. Christina thinks she’s working the hardest of everyone, so she’s irritated and irritating. All of a sudden she just walks off. Then the women start a fashion show and walk the runway, I guess so they don’t kill each other. The men have lunch and taste wine. Patrick spouts a bunch of stuff to sound smart. Everyone else is just drinking and getting plastered. Tiffany seems to be farting and burping and giggling like a 12 year old boy. The men (and Roshni) return and hoot and model. This reminds Kimmie that she is mad at Robyn. She goes off to smoke by herself, while Robyn tells the rest of the women that she didn’t say no to everything the way Kimmie said. Yes you did. Dana bonds with Robyn, because she hates Kimmie anyway. Suddenly everyone hates Kimmie. OK. Tiffany is just glad everyone’s forgotten about her fried eggplant.
Everyone goes to sleep, but then Clemenza wakes everyone up at like 5am? What? He’s seriously turning on lights and shouting. What is going on? They prep and the models prep and Clemenza is freaking out for some reason. How come we have 9 minutes left and service hasn’t started yet? Robyn is still insisting Kimmie talk to her about the earlier challenge, but Kimmie has no interest in discussing it. I can’t tell if that’s because she just wants to be pissed about it, or if she still is so mad she knows she can’t discuss it calmly, or what. I do think that unlike yesterday, Robyn is the one bringing it up. Robyn claims that Kimmie’s refusal makes her wonder about her character. Robyn then gets all upset about sabotage, and Kimmie says she never said sabotage (quite calmly, actually), and Robyn keeps talking when she should really shut up because she feels that Kimmie is weak for not admitting it was her fault. “Weak” isn’t the word I would use, but whatever. Kimmie goes to the dorms to punch the punching bag. She comes back and finally Robyn has shut up.
Ramsey comes in and tells Robyn not to screw up anymore, like today when she cost them the challenge. Kimmie ruins any goodwill she might have earned today by grinning and laughing at her. Seriously, pointing and laughing. Ramsey tells everyone there will be one catwalk, then appetizers, then another catwalk, then entrees. No desserts are mentioned, so I guess they no longer serve dessert. One person from each team will help plate: Kimmie and Royce. Royce? What? OK then. The women are ready to go, but Clemenza has three pans of scallops already cooking. Even though they aren’t even open. Ramsey tells him to piss off, and it’s kind of implied he’s going to be eliminated, but they end the show so probably not.

Next time: the men can’t concentrate with a fashion show going on, and the women steal steaks from the men? Nice. But they get in trouble for it, but then no one can cook, apparently. What else is new.

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