Monday, June 11, 2012

Hell's Kitchen 6/11/12--"16 Chefs Compete" summary

Previously on “Hell’s Kitchen”: it was the second episode, so everyone had to wake up super early and humiliate themselves. This time, everyone had to dig through ice and find scallops in the shell. Royce got hit in the face, but it looked like an accident. Contrary to the preview. Then the women cooked scallops properly to win a reward, a skill that lasted…until dinner service. Royce and Guy fight, and Barbie and Tiffany fight, and Barbie and Robyn fight. The women managed to make it to entrees, but Barbie continued to screw up so no entrees ever made it out of the kitchen. Chris couldn’t cook scallops either so both teams got kicked out of the kitchen. Tiffany’s kind of scary when she’s pissed off. The women were so desperate to get rid of Barbie that they put her up against Roshni, who didn’t do anything wrong. The men put up Chris and Royce. Chris ends up being sent home. (click for more)

Everyone goes back to the dorms and the women yell at Barbie. They also yell at each other, sort of, and talk around her like she’s not there. Robyn points out that one person (Barbie) made their whole team of eight people fail. Barbie smugly interviews that the cream rises to the top and Robyn is starting to crack. 

For some reason Barbie gets up at 5:45am and loads the dishwasher while stomping her feet. Seriously? Is that the level we’re at right now? She’s just throwing things and stomping her feet in place. When the rest of the women come out to yell at her, Barbie says she just wants everyone to know “where they are and what we‘re here to do“, and she was just washing dishes. And she says it all quiet, which is really obnoxious. Tiffany loses it and starts yelling at her about stomping her feet and says she’s about to choke her out. Barbie says that’s not about to happen, which means Tiffany goes for her and people have to hold her back. Of course. The best part is it’s Robyn who holds her back. Barbie mocks them in interview, which really, would probably make people want to smack her more. Robyn threatens her too, before leaving with Tiffany. Ramsey calls and says everyone needs to go downstairs. Kimmie knows they need be a team.

Ramsey shushes them and makes them go into the kitchen, where…someone has filled the dining room with patriotic bunting and people singing “America the Beautiful.” WTF. Some random guy (a judge, I guess) congratulates everyone on becoming US citizens. I don’t think citizenship ceremonies involve singing, or long wait times for poorly-cooked food, but we’ll go with it. Guy reveals he had to apply twice for his citizenship. Gordon announces “an all-American meal”. First team to serve their side of the dining room wins. That’s 60 people.

The menu is Cobb salad for appetizer, and an entrée (Nebraska beef sliders, New York style pizza, or ‘Wisconsin’ grilled cheese sandwich). I guess no dessert. Salads have to go out first, so the men are waiting for Royce. He seems to be keeping it together today. Meanwhile Barbie is plating pizzas for no reason, even though the salad isn’t done. She gets a deer-in-headlights look and apologizes. Kimmie says something about how she’s making pizza…so is Barbie just garnishing? I don’t know. Anyway, Barbie got yelled at. Robyn yells at everyone that they have to put out the salads first, and Ramsey thanks her. The women move on, but Royce is still making salads. He’s still talking about himself in the third person, which is pretty annoying, but he’s put mushrooms on the Cobb salad. Clemenza points out that all the ingredients are chopped already. Royce gets pissy that people are helping him, but since he already screwed up, he really has nothing to say. The men are finally moving on. 

So everyone makes it to entrees. The women bring up some sliders, but now they are waiting on pizza. Now the labor is made clear: Kimmie is actually manning the oven, while Barbie is supposed to garnish. For some reason Barbie is futzing with the oven, so there is no pizza ready. Then of course when she brings one up, it’s burnt. Briana says about the nicest thing anyone’s said about Barbie today, which is that she can’t tell if Barbie is sabotaging them on purpose or if she is really trying to help and just failing. Ramsey kicks Barbie off pizzas. Clemenza claims that since he is from New York and his dad owns a pizzeria or whatever, then he is all over this. Of course this is the cue for him to undercook it. To be fair to the men, they are telling him to “bounce back” instead of cursing him out, as the women are doing to Barbie. Clemenza recovers well, but Brian fails at the burgers. They go to commercial like Brian won’t admit it’s his fault, but it’s all editing. Patrick takes over and complains that these guys should be able to cook a slider. Even with this failure, somehow the men are only two tables behind. Doesn’t matter though, because the women finish first. Ramsey tells them to go help the men, who immediately get defensive and tell the women to stay off their stations and so forth. 

The prize is to go to San Diego on “safari”. Also they get a private jet, which makes the women all squeal and run off. Ramsey ask who is the leader, and begs someone to take over. Patrick raises his hand and says he’ll take over. Interesting. Royce thinks Patrick is in over his head, which is hilarious coming from Royce. The punishment is to go to some wetlands and do hard labor. I think Kimmie says “we’re going to rock out with our cock out” which is not only grammatically incorrect, it makes no sense. The men have to cut down a tree. Heh. Dana gets licked by a giraffe, which is quite funny. They sit down for lunch, and Ramsey makes them all swear to complete service. Barbie then announces that she apologizes, in front of “Chef”, for waking them up. Bullshit. She’s not sorry, she’s just doing that so she can look good in front of Ramsey. Judging from the looks the other contestants are giving her, they don’t buy it either. She also claims it won’t happen again. Patrick tells people what to do, and Guy complains that he should lead by example. But they finished, so that’s what’s important. 

Everyone gets ready for service, and the women seem to be a team, right now. Patrick micromanages everyone, which pisses people off. Royce gets cocky, which is annoying but slightly justified. Then he says something about bandanas in confessional, as he is wearing a bandana. Ramsey says James (JP’s far inferior replacement) is tired of apologizing to people, so one person from each team has to be a waiter. I never like this. Being a waiter is a different skill set. Tiffany and Don get stuck doing it. Ramsey gets on a cell phone (with a Union Jack cover, excellent job, producers) to call Royce’s boss. You will remember Royce works for a former contestant. Ralph tells him to step up, sadly without any profanity. 

Royce claims to have his A++ game. The risotto is good, so now he’s really cocky. Dana brings up soupy pasta. She works hard to fix it, because she doesn’t want to bring the whole team down. Don can’t spell anything. Like “Appetizers”. He gets tootling bumbling music. The men are actually doing well so far, but that only lasts until Clemenza says it will be 20 minutes for entrees. Somehow he cuts that down, then brings up lamb that is perfect. It’s weird. Dana redeems herself. Ramsey says the next table is firefighters so don’t fuck it up. Barbie loses it a little and says her scallops are so great Ramsey will say she’s a sexy bitch, or something. But they are raw and unsexy. The men get a table of Marines. Clemenza says he’s ready, but the Wellington is raw. At least he doesn’t bring it up. Christina jumps in to make scallops because I guess Barbie and whoever were taking too long. Surprisingly no one complains. Clemenza asks Patrick how long his dishes will be, then gives the same response of three minutes when Ramsey asks him how long he’ll take. Then he starts cutting up Wellingtons right away instead of three minutes from now. Scott catches him, so he has to throw those out. He’s down to two Wellingtons. 

Kimmie and Briana are finally up, because they’ve made it to entrees. Somehow Briana burns the fish. Then for some reason she only brings up whatever is left, and says she didn’t realize it would shrink down that much. Now they have to start over. Clemenza overcooks some Wellingtons, except that was all he had left and they‘re only halfway through service. Ramsey yells about how it’s Marines a bunch of times. Clemenza has to go apologize and offer steaks instead. The Marines stare him down, which is kind of funny. Eventually they say steak is fine. Briana gets her fish cooked finally, and Roshni gets her moment to actually do something. She promptly forgets to cook dumplings for the cod. The men are moving well, but Roshni hasn’t cooked the dumplings properly. Try number four results in poorly cooked Wellingtons and burnt fish. Ramsey kicks all the women out of the kitchen. The men, by some miracle, serve all their entrees. We don’t see desserts, so either they were fine or the producers figured they make them so rarely they shouldn’t bother to serve them.

Ramsey praises Royce and Christina. Women lose, obviously, and we learn they didn’t serve any entrees at all. Briana offers to be nominated, and she doesn’t want to go home, but she understands she screwed up. Dana slips and asks if they all agree to vote for Barbie. Heh. Roshni is glad no one is mentioning her name. of course then people put up Barbie, because they all hate her. Barbie votes for Dana, but it looks like she’s outnumbered.

Briana is nominated for the cod. Second nominee is Barbie. Both for raw scallops. Ramsey says that both of them are good enough choices, but there’s one more person who should be nominated: Roshni. She looks confused. Ramsey thinks she’s in over her head, but she works hard and cooks with her heart. Briana is a team player and knows she can fix her mistakes and fight. Ramsey compares Barbie to an appendix because her whole team wants her out. She claims she’s done everything her team has asked her to do. Briana is out. Not enough of a fighter. Ramsey wants a leader, but some of them are disappearing. The next challenge will test them “like never before”. Barbie thinks everyone is intimidated by her, instead of just hating her guts, and then she promises to stay until Ramsey tells her to go. Which…is different from normal how?

Next time: the women yell at each other, someone cuts their hand.

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