"The Joe Schmo Show" 2025 -- episode 2 "The Golden Goat"

 

Previously on “Joe Schmo”: we rebooted the franchise, but somehow it just wasn't the same. Did they not go far enough? Can you bring back a fake reality show after nearly 25 years of “real” reality shows? Are my standards too high? Ben is just a blue collar guy from Baltimore who hunts and fishes and is single. He's on “The Goat USA”, a “spin-off” of a supposedly Korean game show that everyone pretends they have heard of. It's got just enough “Squid Game” for you to notice but not enough to sue. The elimination ceremony is called “The Sacrifice” but I feel it is not dumb enough for my satisfaction. Jonathan Lipnicki (yes that one) is playing a douchebag child star and is the first one voted out. Don't forget Barbara, though, who randomly hit a button and was the actual first person out. Which promptly caused Ben to declare her “100%” an actor. (click for more)

Clicky clicky

"The Joe Schmo Show" 2025 -- episode 1

So “Joe Schmo” is back on television. The articles about this premiere made it sound like this is a new idea, as if this isn't the fourth season of this show. But I guess part of how the show works is you need to wait between seasons so everyone forgets this show is a thing, or else people are too suspicious. (click for more)

Clicky clicky

Jingle Bell Run

 

Hello! Welcome to...whatever this is going to be. We have a long time to wait for more shows. Amazing Race is coming out in March, and Top Chef is coming...next year sometime. They've announced they're going to Canada. But Toyouke, there's already a Top Chef: Canada. That is true. Who knows. And Project Runway is actually coming back next year! It will be on Freeform, which used to be ABC Family, so I think it will also be on Disney+. Supposedly there will be “new judges and mentors” which is too bad. I'm leery of this move because of how wretched the Lifetime seasons were. But we'll see.

Anyway we are here today for a Hallmark Christmas Movie. I know! But Miss Alli posted about it and here we are. If you are old enough to remember Television Without Pity you probably remember Miss Alli. This is a Hallmark Christmas movie that centers around a “race” with teams and “challenges” and “Phil”. Let's go. (click for more)

Clicky clicky

Top Chef 6/19/24--"Cruising to a Win" summary

 

Previously on “Top Chef”: the final four arrived in Curacao and had to do a Quickfire combining lionfish and gouda. Basically everyone except for Danny made a crudo with crispy cheese. Dan still managed to win somehow. The Elimination challenge asked the contestants to make an eight course tasting menu of fish, each course with a different technique. No one did very well. In fact, there were major issues with at least one of everyone's two dishes. In the end, Danny had the best dish, with Dan a close second. Savannah just messed up less than Laura, so Laura was eliminated. (click for more)

Clicky clicky

Top Chef 6/12/24--"Set Sail" summary

 

Previously on “Top Chef”: we had the blind taste test. They had 26 ingredients in alphabetical order but no one caught on. Manny somehow won but then made a boring dish so he did not win all of the money. Savannah made the best dish. Then the Elimination challenge was the standard “it's the last week here so everyone make a dish that shows how you've grown” only this time they had to have a story about the dish/how they have grown. Savannah made potato pave and said that potatoes have everything they need to be pave, they just need heat and pressure. Just like Savannah needed heat and pressure to become a better chef. So she won handily. Laura made a good dish so she also moves on to the finals. Danny did OK in the Quickfire, so it's between Dan's oversmoked fish and Manny's raw fish. Finally Manny was sent home. Not only was it raw but his story was “I make this dish all the time”? So the judges knew there was no excuse for it to be bad. (click for more)

Clicky clicky

Top Chef 6/5/24--"Goodbye Wisconsin" summary

 

Previously on “Top Chef”: Laura returned from LCK and promptly got into the Quickfire, which was to guess what Tom had made based on yes/no questions and the look and smell of the empty plate. People did not pay attention and tried to ask the same question more than once. In the end, Savannah won, partially by noticing the kitchen had woks in it for the first time and knowing that must be important. The Elimination challenge was to serve a dish directly on the table. I don't know. Laura won, because her dessert was impressive but also because it makes her narrative work better. Even though Manny screwed up the cooking on all of his elements, Michelle was boring I guess so Michelle was sent home. (click for more)

Clicky clicky

Top Chef 5/29/24--"Leave It All on the Table" summary

 

Previously on “Top Chef”: We said “meat raffle” was a thing, which just means for the Quickfire it was random draw for first dibs on proteins. Savannah made corned beef salad and was the winner. Remember that for later. Then we had to do a fish boil, which is where you boil fish on the beach and then throw kerosene on the fire for no reason other than people are drunk on the beach. Danny won, because he took care to make sure the fish cooked in something other than just salted water. Savannah cut herself, and ended up in the bottom, but “we will consider the Quickfire performance” is translating to “doing well in the Quickfire is basically immunity” because no one wanted to send Savannah home. Instead, Soo was sent home for being too disjointed. (click for more)

Clicky clicky