Welcome
to Leg 8! Last time, on The
French Totally Call Amsterdam Rotterdam and Pronounce the Number Nine
as One,
7 teams left the mat in Paris immediately to start traipsing through
the Netherlands. Inexplicably, the Cheerleaders take the lead at one
point, but other than that, it’s the usual Justin and Diana
bickering and Paparazzi making ridiculous decisions. Justin and
Diana win their fourth leg, and Chac Attack make one too many
mistakes, landing them in last place and eliminated. Who will be
eliminated. . . next? (click for more)
Arrival
at the pit stop last episode:
1st
– Justin and Diana, Team Race Proposal, #TheGreenTeam
2nd
– Kelsey and Joey, Team Newscast, #TheReporters
3rd
– Tiffany and Krista, Team Jet Pack, #TheCheerleaders
4th
– Tanner and Josh, Team Prerequisite Hot Boys, #TeamTexas
5th
– Logan and Chris, Team Photobomb, #ThePaparazzi
6th
– Denise and James Earl, Team Token MomGaySon, #TeamAlabama
Justin
and Diana explain that they worked out their differences last leg.
Whatever. We don’t care. (Toyouke: “I
get that Diana is upset because Justin is being a jerk. Let's not
pretend he's really an awesome person.”)
Peace
Palace, The Hauge, The Netherlands
10:10
PM Justin/Diana (1st)
Clue:
Fly to Kraków, Poland! Book your flight from Amsterdam to Kraków
using the Travelocity Mobile App. Once there, make your way to Plaza
Kraków and dive in the pool in the floating barge to get your next
clue.
(Toyouke:
“SHUT
UP PRODUCT PLACEMENT”)
10:23
PM Kelsey/Joey (2nd)
10:24
PM Tiffany/Krista (3rd)
11:34
PM Tanner/Josh (4th)
12:11
AM Logan/Chris (5th)
12:36
AM Denise/James Earl (6th)
So
teams load up the Travelocity App and book their flights in the
following order:
Flight
1, arrives 11:20 AM
1)
Justin/Diana –
(Toyouke: “Seriously,
shut up. I want to see them race to the airport and fuck up getting
on the first flight. Watching people use a smartphone is so boring.”)
Flight
2, arrives 12:40 PM
1)
Kelsey/Joey
2)
Tiffany/Krista
3)
Tanner/Josh
4)
Logan/Chris –
who can’t decide if they will still be in Europe or not.
5)
Denise/James Earl
Teams
now travel from The Hague and arrive at Schiphol International
Airport in the following order:
1-
Justin/Diana
2-
Tiffany/Krista
3-
Tanner/Josh
4-
Denise/James Earl
5-
Kelsey/Joey
6-
Logan/Chris
We
follow the Amazing Blue and Orange Lines from Amsterdam to Kraków
and arrive in the following order:
1-
Justin/Diana
2-
Tanner/Josh –Tanner:
“Pompoms and miniskirts are our weakness.” (Kmanpat: “And I
had such hopes for you.”)
3-
Tiffany/Krista
4-
Denise/James Earl
5-
Logan/Chris
6-
Kelsey/Joey
Teams
make their way to Plaza Kraków and dive for clues on the barge in
the pool o n the beach in the following order:
1-
Justin/Diana
2-
Logan/Chris
3-
Tanner/Josh
4-
Denise/James Earl
5-
Kelsey/Joey
6-
Tiffany/Krista
And
we get the Detour Clue.
DETOUR:
Mine
OR Music
*Mine:
Teams must travel to the town of Wieliczka and find the salt mine.
Once there, teams must put on the appropriate gear and go 1000 feet
below ground to complete three tasks: carry a timber support beam
down a shaft, fill a mining car full of salt, and then push a full
salt car back up the shaft. Once complete, the supervisor will give
them their next clue.
*Music:
Teams must travel to the main square of Kraków and find a musician
near the pianos. They must both learn how to play a simple piano
piece and then roll the piano to a performance area to play music
with the violinist and earn 100 zloty in tips. Once complete, the
violinist would give teams their next clue.
(Toyouke:
“OK
seriously, this Detour. They just wanted everyone to go to the mines.
There is no way you can learn to play the piano fast enough unless
you already know how and there is no guarantee anyone does.”)
1-
Justin/Diana choose Mine
2-
Kelsey/Joey choose Music
– (Toyouke: “I
dislike the reporters and their fake news report but is this the
first time they did it? If so good on them for not doing it all the
damn time.”)
3-
Tiffany/Krista choose Music
– (Toyouke: “Why
are the cheerleaders having so much trouble collecting money when
Joey and James Earl didn't? Is this some sexist thing in Krakow?”)
4-
Denise/James Earl choose Music
5-
Logan/Chris choose Mine – (Toyouke:
“OK
"what happens if it collapses?" "we're paralyzed for
life" made me laugh.”)
6-
Tanner/Josh choose Mine
– who can’t find a taxi to Wieliczka, and instead try to find one
instead of Bald Snarking and going to the detour choice that is a
fifteen minute walk from Plaza Kraków.
Much
mining and music playing ensues.
Team
complete their tasks and get their clues in the following order:
1-
Justin/Diana
2-
Kelsey/Joey
3-
Denise/James Earl
4-
Logan/Chris
5-
Tiffany/Krista
6-
Tanner/Josh
Teams
are now instructed to make their way to the Oskar Schindler Factory.
They arrive in the following order:
1-
Justin/Diana
2-
Kelsey/Joey
3-
Denise/James Earl
4-
Tiffany/Krista
5-
Logan/Chris
6-
Tanner/Josh
Teams
take a tour of the museum and talk about how awesome it is. Tears.
Reflection. RACE. (Toyouke: “I
don't like this "Moment of Reflection". Everyone is in a
hurry and it feels like pandering. Not like when All-Stars went to
Auschwitz.”) Moving
on, teams get their clues at the museum in the following order:
1-
Justin/Diana
2-
Kelsey/Joey
3-
Denise/James Earl
4-
Tiffany/Krista
5-
Logan/Chris
6-
Tanner/Josh
Teams
are now instructed to travel to Kazimierz, the Jewish Quarter of
Kraków, to get their next clue. Teams arrive in the following
order:
1-
Justin/Diana
2-
Kelsey/Joey
3-
Denise/James Earl
4-
Tiffany/Krista
5-
Logan/Chris
6-
Tanner/Josh
And
teams get the envelope with the eighth roadblock clue.
ROADBLOCK:
Who
can handle a big order?
In
this roadblock, one team member must load up a tray with Jewish
delicacies based on an order form and provide the correct number and
type of items to the maitre d at Klezmer-Hois to get their next clue.
The
following teammates take the Roadblock:
1-
Justin
– (Toyouke: “An
interesting strategy. I guess if it doesn't say you can't ask locals
then you should. Wait, is this the first Fern of the season? A couple
of seasons?”)
2- Kelsey
3- James Earl – who thought it was an eating challenge.
2- Kelsey
3- James Earl – who thought it was an eating challenge.
4-
Tiffany
5-
Chris –
who wins the argument with Logan.
6-
Josh
After
much serving of Jewish food and comments about Jewish grandmothers,
teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:
1-
Justin/Diana
2-
Kelsey/Joey
3-
Denise/James Earl
4-
Logan/Chris
5-
Tiffany/Krista
6-
Tanner/Josh
Teams
find now that they must walk inside Klezmer-Hois to find the mat, the
PIT STOP of the eighth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team
to arrive MAY be eliminated!
1-
Justin/Diana –
who win a trip for two to Shanghai, China.
2-
Kelsey/Joey
3-
Denise/James Earl
4-
Logan/Chris
5-
Tifanny/Krista
6-
Tanner/Josh –
who let the girls go first since they arrived first. (Toyouke: “OK
first of all, those cheerleaders have been bragging all season about
how hard their training is and how great they are and she is the only
one bitching about the heavy tray, so whatever. Secondly, "the
right thing to do" is "not cheat", not "let the
woman ahead of me when I'm in last place." “)
And
Tanner and Josh are. . . NOT ELIMINATED! GAH! But there will be a
Speed Bump for them on the next leg. Finally. Oh, and U-Turn on the
next leg. (Toyouke: “They
should have been eliminated for their stupid insistence on being
honorable. Now they're going to think they've been "rewarded"
for being chivalrous, a.k.a., "we think women are weaker so
we'll just let them go first". Also, Phil stop telling everyone about upcoming U-Turns!”)
ORDER
NOW:
1st
– Justin/Diana
2nd
– Kelsey/Joey
3rd
– Denise/James Earl
4th
– Logan/Chris
5th
– Tiffany/Krista
6th
– Tanner/Josh
Next
week: India! U-Turn! I hope there’s a train. (Toyouke: “I
choose to focus on the fact that there are tuk-tuks and not dumbass
Justin's laughing.”) Until
next time!
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