Project Runway 11/12/15--"Reunion" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: Ashley won, and I discovered just how cynical I am about this whole enterprise. (Answer: very.) ALSO Tim Gunn gave an interview where he said he hated this season because no one “wanted it” enough and surely this is all because he didn't go to auditions. Had he only gone to auditions, he's so awesome that only people that really want it and aren't duds would have been cast. Please. You cast a bunch of boring people and when they didn't have enough drama you were a dick to everyone during the “real woman” challenge and then everyone was like “oh these designers are terrible! Tim had to yell at them!” Plus the first three or four designers took your advice and that advice directly caused their eliminations! Also when pressed for who didn't “want it” enough Tim could only name Swapnil. Who got a lot of support because Tim was a total unprofessional jerk to him. Anyway this reunion should be a shitshow. I don't know when it was taped but you know it will be. (click for more)

So the final six get extra screen time, while everyone else has to sit in the green room and watch on a monitor. Tim sincerely congratulates Ashley and asks her about her ups and downs. She says she has a thicker skin now. He also asks if she thinks the fact that she has a plus-size collection was a factor in her win. Oh you mean like there are a bunch of people like me who think she only won because she was making a plus-size collection? Ashley sort of says maybe but I'm glad it's me doing the representation. Tim asks everyone else (I guess in the hopes someone will say yes, that's the only reason she won) and the other five will not play along. Tim then asks Kelly about Nina being kind of harsh to her. She's glad, though, because Nina was honest. She has no regrets and wouldn't change any of her collection. Now there is a montage of Kelly and Nina. Nina hated her but then I guess liked her? Although that includes praising cropped faux leather overalls. Edmond finally got on the show this year. How are you going to argue he didn't want it enough, Tim? Ugh. A montage about Edmond refusing to tell anyone what he is doing so they can't copy him. I did not notice this. Because everyone is boring. Candice starts talking about her experience (she grew as a person, etc.) and they cut to the green room, where Lindsey makes a face and then she and Amanda get up and leave, I guess to get more booze or something. Jake calls them out, and then Blake leaves too. Seriously everyone is up getting drinks, and Jake is laughing, and then someone (Lindsey?) says whatever Candice is saying is total bullshit. Like how Candice is saying that even though everyone said all Ashley did was cry it showed her how women have insecurities or something. Yeah, bullshit. Merline talks a mile a minute about how great this was. Montage of Merline singing and being annoying and the stupid hashtags. She wakes up like this. Kelly loves her because she's so positive.

Guys I'm not watching Project Runway Junior. I can't I'm too mad about this dumbass show.

OK time to talk to Swapnil and Tim is like “oh we had our ups and downs.” So Tim does that disappointed parent thing of “You aren't doing your best! I was so frustrated and disappointed! That's why I was an asshole.” Swapnil says when Tim was a jerk it broke him. Tim hated his work ethic, but he knows he's so talented. Whatever. Oh now we have to talk about his “strategy” of making safe pieces and putting in 60%. OK that was a stupid strategy. Tim was still a jerk though. Also let's not all pretend that were were concerned about other competitors like we're not all secretly gloating that's one less person to worry about. They do show Tim's outburst, and no one calls him on it. Just Candice backing Tim up and being disappointed in Swapnil. He questions if he should be a designer and everyone gets mad about that as if they never could imagine that cursing at him and yelling about how he's a fuck-up might make him wonder if he's cut out for this profession. OH let's not tell Tim it's OK because he was just so concerned. That's shit abusers say to justify being assholes.

Now everyone gets to be out on stage. Lindsey says watching the show is awkward. Joseph says editing makes everything different, like how when they had a team challenge it looked like he was trying to control Merline and that totally wasn't the case, right? Merline's like, “...this is the reunion?” What? Tim says it is really random pairing for team challenges which is hilarious. No one believes that, Tim. Then we cut to footage where Joseph is really bossing Merline around and putting her on lockdown. Merline says she was just trying to avoid conflict. Oh I was wrong, this isn't everyone. There's still four people in the green room. Laurie feels that no one was edited falsely. Everything was true and there's probably more footage to back up whatever we saw. Candice brings up my favorite point about editing, which is that when you say someone's name and then say shit about them, no one is cutting your sentences together. You really said that. Yeah out of all the things to bitch about on this show editing is not that big. Now we talk to Blake about how he told Swapnil he doesn't speak Indian. Oh yeah that shit. Blake pretends that he's just sarcastic. Swapnil talked to him later and I guess figured out he's just stupid. You know with the failing to tell time and not knowing where a woman's vagina is. Supposedly his stupidity is endearing. No it's just stupid.

Jeez, now we have to talk about the stupid paintball challenge and how no one wanted Ashley. Listen, I think they left her out too, but I also think the judges brought it up every chance they got in the hopes it would cause more drama. Like they'd say so and Ashley would cause drama and the other girls would hate her for having the judges stick up for her. Was it bad? Yes. Was it as bad as the judges acted like it was? No, I don't think so. Kelly says she's not a mean girl and she doesn't appreciate that, especially when the boys could have picked her and didn't. Good point. Joseph claims the boys all had a prior agreement to pick each other. Ashley thought there were cliques and no one got to know her except Laurie and the guys. Lindsey is super offended, but Ashley shouts her down and says there were conversations at night, but only them and not her, I guess. Tim asks Laurie about how she told Ashley that everyone was going to throw her under the bus, and how the cameras didn't catch this piece of information, so when did this happen? And Laurie says it didn't technically happen, she just felt they were going to do it. I mean, she was totally right, but I wonder if she's doing this now so no one calls her a liar. It just feels like she's hedging, sitting here. Anyway, she does say people were sitting around bitching about Ashley (Kelly and Amanda try to interrupt her but she's like “I'm talking!” and talks over them) so she figured out they were going to throw her under the bus and she was right. Kelly said she was the first one to throw out Ashley's name, and that's because when they first started working (and they were all shouting at each other and being useless), Ashley walked off to do her own thing. Laurie says that's because no one was working together and no one wanted to be a team. Amanda claims that no one wanted to be mean to Ashley. That's debatable. Candice wants to blame her emotions. Whatever. Ashley says she asked everyone if they liked her look and her pleating, and they said they did, so then to now say they hated it is fake.

Jake stops everyone to point out that Blake is the one who called them all out on ganging up on Ashley. Blake agrees that this is how he saw it. Also he seems to say it was all Candice's fault. Like he says that Kelly isn't a mean girl and Amanda isn't a mean girl, but he saw Candice attacking Ashley. Candice calls him on what he just did, and he kind of pretends that he didn't just say her damn name like come on, Blake. Tim thinks no one intended to be mean on purpose, as if anyone is going to argue with him about that. Come on, Tim. Ashley says she's sorry the other girls have to go through this (?) because she just wanted to work with them. Lindsey claims they were friends and she wouldn't let anyone say anything false but Ashley let Blake say she was a mean person. Whatever, Lindsey. Did you not just five minutes ago say you were not listening to Candice talk because you knew she was full of shit? Let's not pretend you're an angel who never talks shit about anyone. This is devolving into all the other girls claiming they weren't mean and they were just talking about that one time and Lindsey trying to be the victim because Blake said she was mean. And Ashley asking if Lindsey (and everyone) is butthurt because she didn't defend them to Blake. Oh like that was going to happen. To be honest I forgot about Blake, who totally could have been doing all of that to stir the pot, but who seemed sincere at the time. All these girls are claiming that if they had been in Ashley's place, having listened to the whole team say she should go home, and someone says they're mean girls, they TOTALLY would have stood up for whatever bitches just tried to get them eliminated. Laurie shouts everyone down that maybe they should consider that Ashley was sitting there upset because she thinks she's going home because all these people just tried to send her home. Why would she defend them? Tim ends the conversation by making everyone admit their team sucked. Like...who is going to listen to someone say they should be eliminated and then five minutes later say “No, don't say bad things about them”?

Now there are these four people, the first four out, who I barely remember except for Hanmiao. Oh yeah. They were super dysfunctional. And Edmond made a whole swimsuit without talking to her and then she hid in the bathroom to fit the model so he couldn't interfere. Edmond says his making the second swimsuit was because he didn't know how far along she was and was letting her do her own thing. Hanmiao apologizes for telling him to shut up and talks about how she needs to think about things. She says they're the only ones who weren't a team and she deserved to go home. Montage of people crying. Everyone cries all the time, Tim. It's not new. Tim asks what's up with Blake and Hanmiao and he says they're trying to get drunk. Hee.

People talk about their favorite looks. Whatever, it's not exciting. Wait, they claim they liked Duncan's look for the first challenge, where he made a heavy draped pink satin column and went home.

Tim has a surprise! Mary Kay wants to give a prize to the designer who won the most challenges. $25,000 for Kelly! That's sweet. And random. Candice has to pipe up and say she deserves it the most. Shut up Candice. No one asked you.

Sum up the season in a sentence! These sentences are stupid! Blake is still drinking! Finally it's over!