Sunday, October 25, 2015

TAR 27 Recap Leg 5, 10-23-15

Welcome to Leg 5! Last time, on Zambia and Zimbabwe Really Are Two Different Countries, 8 teams raced from Argentina to Zambia and then on to Zimbabwe. Texas comes up with a U-Turn plan, and promises the Express Pass to the Reporters if they U-Turn Justin and Diana. Actually, everyone seems to be ready to U-turn Justin and Diana, and in anticipation, Texas uses their Express Pass on the Roadblock in order to give them a head start on the Detour. Which would have been great, except teams are forced to stay overnight at a lodge and take departure times, of which the first teams to leave are Tanner and Josh and Justin and Diana. So, it’s a mad race through the Detour to the U-Turn, and Justin and Diana get there first and U-Turn. . . no one. LAME. But then they get no prize at the mat, donate all their money to an orphanage, and are told to KEEP RACING. Tanner and Josh arrive, and we leave the episode with their decision of who to give the Express Pass to. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Justin and Diana, Team Race Proposal, #TheGreenTeam
2nd – Tanner and Josh, Team Prerequisite Hot Boys, #TeamTexas
3rd – Denise and James Earl, Team Token MomGaySon, #TeamAlabama
4th – Kelsey and Joey, Team Newscast, #TheReporters
5th – Cindy and Rick, Team Asian Doctor, #ChacAttack
6th – Logan and Chris, Team Photobomb, #ThePaparazzi
7th – Jazmine and Danielle, Team Running Buddies, #TheTrackStars
8th – Tiffany and Krista, Team Jet Pack, #TheCheerleaders

So, because the editors feel like it’s a good idea to leave us hanging, here’s how Leg 4 actually ended. Tanner and Josh needed to give Phil their Express Pass so they could hand it off to the next team, and logically they chose Denise and James Earl. Wait, hear them out. They decided that they are a weaker team and they could beat them if they could. Fair enough. (Toyouke: “Not surprised Texas gave their Express pass to a weak team, just that it wasn't a weak team full of cute girls.”) So, Denise and James Earl check in within earshot of Kelsey and Joey (who should have gotten the Pass based on the earlier agreements) and get the Express Pass. Teams continue donating all of their money to the orphanage until Logan and Chris try to give “a lot of money” which equates to twenty dollars, even though they have about $150. So, Phil guilts them into donating all of their money like the other teams. (Toyouke: “If they wanted everyone to donate ALL their money, they should have told them "Donate ALL your money".”) Then, at the end of the pack, Tiffany and Krista inexplicably use their U-Turn against Justin/Diana, even though they are clearly last. (Toyouke: “WHY would you assume Justin was behind you? Why. That was stupid.”) But they are saved by the “Non-Elimination” of the next leg starting immediately, and we can now officially start Leg 5.

Rose of Charity Orphanage, Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe

Justin/Diana (1st)
Clue: Make your way to The Lookout Café and search for your next clue.

Tanner/Josh (2nd) – who respect Justin for not U-Turning them. OK. . .
Denise/James Earl (3rd)
Kelsey/Joey (4th)
Cindy/Rick (5th)
Logan/Chris (6th) – who interview that they second guess each other a lot. Is that where this leg is going?
Jazmine/Danielle (7th)
Tiffany/Krista (8th)

So teams make their way to the Lookout Café. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Justin/Diana
2- Tanner/Josh
3- Kelsey/Joey
4- Denise/James Earl
5- Cindy/Rick – who also leave the Roadblock in order to find it. *facepalm* (Toyouke: “Where are they going? "I don't understand"...? He said they were the same place. What don't you understand?”)
6- Logan/Chris – who then decide that ChacAttack know what they are doing and follow them. (Toyouke: “Did you just figure out you were at the Roadblock the whole time? I hope you ARE done.  Although if you knew it was a dumb idea you could have said something to your husband instead of riding in circles in the cab LOGAN.”)
7- Jazmine/Danielle
8- Tiffany/Krista

And teams get the envelope with the fourth roadblock clue.

Who wants to gorge themselves?
In this roadblock, one team member must strap on a harness and freefall 70 meters to swing for 95 meters across the Zambezi River. Then the roadblocker climbs back to the top to get the clue. Sound familiar? That’s because this is a Switchback, a task previously performed on the race in the same location. This one is from TAR1, the very first task in the first ever racearoundtheworld.

(Toyouke: “"SWING YOU FAT BASTARD SWING" is one of the greatest Amazing Race quotes of all time yes I know this makes you irrationally compelled to make a list of the other 9 but I don't care.”)

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Justin
2- Josh
"You gotta slap my face. A little harder." (Toyouke: “Yeah that's not homoerotic at all.”)
3- Kelsey
4- James Earl
5- Danielle
6- Krista
7- Cindy
8- Chris

After much swinging over the Zambezi River, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Justin/Diana
2- Tanner/Josh
3- Kelsey/Joey
4- Denise/James Earl
5- Jazmine/Danielle
6- Tiffany/Krista
7- Cindy/Rick
8- Logan/Chris

And we get the Detour Clue.

Crocs OR Canoes
*Crocs: Teams must travel to Crocodile Cage Diving at Elephants Walk Shopping and Artist Village. Once there, teams change into wetsuits and feed three local crocodiles in a diving cage. Once the crocodiles are fed, teams get their next clue. There is only one diving cage available.
*Canoes: Teams must travel to a Zambezi River Lodge and paddle themselves in a canoe across the river. Once there, teams follow a marked path to a tree with a vultures next, where one team members hoists the other up to get the clue. Once the clue has been retrieved, teams canoe back across the river to continue racing.

1- Justin/Diana choose Canoes
2- Tanner/Josh choose Canoes
3- Kelsey/Joey choose Crocs
4- Denise/James Earl choose Crocs – and once they arrive, use the Express Pass to complete the Detour. (Toyouke: “Excellent Express Pass usage.”)
5- Jazmine/Danielle choose Crocs
6- Tiffany/Krista choose Crocs
7- Cindy/Rick choose Crocs
8- Logan/Chris choose Crocs – and then get into a ridiculous argument about whether or not to Bald Snark. Let’s see, wait in line and continue to be last, or possibly succeed faster at the other detour. But they keep going back and forth, and eventually decide to stay. Really? (Toyouke: “NO you should Bald Snark! You KNOW you're in last and there is no way for you to change that on a task like this. This is the dumbest argument. Seriously. Either you want to leave or you don't want to leave. Pick a side.”)

Much canoe rowing and crocodile feeding occurs. Team complete their tasks and get their clues in the following order:

1- Justin/Diana
2- Tanner/Josh
3- Denise/James Earl
4- Kelsey/Joey
5- Jazmine/Danielle
6- Tiffany/Krista
7- Cindy/Rick
8- Logan/Chris

Teams are now instructed to make their way to the Lion Encounter at Masuwe Safari Lodge to get their next clue. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Justin/Diana
2- Denise/James Earl
3- Kelsey/Joey
4- Tanner/Josh
5- Tiffany/Krista
6- Jazmine/Danielle – who instead turn to the Masuwe Lodge and see Phil. Luckily, they realize this is incorrect and head back to the Lion Encounter.
7- Cindy/Rick
8- Logan/Chris

Teams are now instructed to use one of the two guide groups available to walk with the lions and search the plains for their next clue inside an animal skull. Teams complete the task in the following order:

1- Justin/Diana
2- Denise/James Earl
3- Kelsey/Joey
4- Tanner/Josh
5- Tiffany/Krista
6- Cindy/Rick
7- Logan/Chris
8- Jazmine/Danielle – who misread the clue and end up having to walk again, having not found the clue the first time.

Teams find now that they must travel on foot to the Masuwe Private Game Reserve, the PIT STOP of the fifth leg of this racearoundtheworld. Once there, teams are instructed to carry a basket of fruit on their heads to the mat. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Denise/James Earl – who win a trip for 2 to Slovakia.
2- Justin/Diana – who sulk. (Toyouke: “Are you crying for being second? Shut up Justin.”)
3- Tanner/Josh
4- Kelsey/Joey
5- Tiffany/Krista
6- Logan/Chris – (Toyouke: “Yeah when both team members are like "Please don't talk to me" you know it's only a matter of time.”)
7- Cindy/Rick
8- Jazmine/Danielle

And Jazmine and Danielle are eliminated. Good, too many missteps for me for them to still be around. But they had wonderful experiences!

1st – Denise/James Earl
2nd – Justin/Diana
3rd – Tanner/Josh
4th – Kelsey/Joey
5th – Tiffany/Krista
6th – Logan/Chris
7th – Cindy/Rick

Next week: Bungee Jumping, Rapping, Plane Flying and more in France. And Logan completely loses it. Until next time!

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