Previously on Project Runway: Dom won! And there
were a bunch of people who maybe shouldn’t have cleared the psych evaluation
that they supposedly do before casting! So let’s see how crazy this gets.
(click for more)
Tim gets to host. Everyone fakes like they’re
happy to be there. Helen admits it’s nerve-wracking and Tim is like “Big Daddy
is here to protect you!” Hee. Dom is still on a high. Tim claims this was one
of the toughest decisions ever. Alexandria claims to be OK with it (although of
course they all want to win, she admits). Tim says her body language says
something else. Does it? I guess. She says something about not being able to
change the judges’ minds as Helen smirks in the front row. Oh we’re getting to you,
missy. Justin is just glad to get this far. Bradon loved his collection and he
stands behind his broad strokes. Plus everyone wants him to make them clothes.
Angela and Kahindo! You were the first ones out, do you feel bad? I barely
remember them. They’re fine. Dom thinks this season is “the most impressive
season”. Maybe. Tim agrees, which I read somewhere irritates previous
contestants. When they’re like “this season is the best season ever!” Alexander
liked “glamping”. Kate liked all the field trips.
Sandro time. Also a clip of his and Ken’s and
Helen’s fight, which actually is cast in another light after seeing how Helen
and Ken turned out. Sandro says he was upset because…something about “the
person who I always fight for” and “disappointed” and who knows. Tim has no
idea what is going on. Sandro was upset with Helen. She does admit she was out
of line to yell at him, whereas I think it was out of line for her to react to
his weirdness by saying “Everyone remember how I got dumped on and feel bad for
me”. But sure, I see what she’s saying. I think he’s saying he expected her to
agree with him, so when she told him he shouldn’t act like that he was upset.
And then Helen says something about interviews. That’s not what anyone was
talking about. Tim stands up for her (sigh) because she had a good question:
why talk back to the judges when you’re safe? Sandro says he wanted feedback,
all these women like his work, and he only has an issue with one person and Tim
knows who it is. Tim has to force him to say it’s Zac. Yeah, Zac laid into him.
Sandro thinks Zac hated him so much because Zac is jealous when someone younger
and more talented and more attractive than him is the only person the crew can
talk about. Wow. There are a lot of people making faces now. He is so crazy.
Tim asks if everyone agrees and everyone laughs. You need a thick skin. Sandro
tries to say he’s a cool bitch but there is smashing a camera and being a cool
bitch. “That’s just how I am”. Motto of asshats everywhere.
Tim says, lots of fights. Montage of stupid
fights during the team challenges. Actually it seems to be mostly Ken being a
bitch from when he was on the team with Alexandria and Sue. They did not
communicate and also did not have fun. Ken claims he had good intentions and he
tried. Then he apologizes and it seems sincere so there’s that. Ken also claims
he says whatever and he doesn’t hold onto it because life is too short.
Alexandria talks about negative energy. Every time she talks Helen makes faces.
Way to seem mature.
Now is time for Timothy and Miranda. Where she
was a bitch and then she felt bad and apologized and Timothy was a total jerk
about it. Timothy says they made up and she nods. She was really embarrassed. I
feel like this is probably not how she usually is because how often do you hear
jerks talking about how embarrassed they are? Ken’s not embarrassed. Sandro’s
not embarrassed.
OK, Ken vs. Alexander. And I guess Bradon
technically. Tim asks Ken what he feels when he watches that. I still think
Alexander didn’t take all the blame he should have. Ken says he “expresses”
himself “differently”. Yeah, is that what you’re calling it? Everyone was
frustrated and tired. That seems to be the excuse. Justin thinks it just was a
“perfect storm” of things. So maybe Ken and Alexander aren’t normally like
that? Ken is though. But he says if he could do it over he would move. Oh,
alright, heh. Then he admits if he had moved in the first place, none of that
would have happened. Good.
Miranda tells everyone she made a ton of friends.
Jeremy didn’t expect to make a single friend. Hee. Helen admits she didn’t
expect to be friends with Kate. Montage of Helen talking about Kate, including
the clip from the first episode where she called Kate a bitch. Tim says Helen
drove him to despair because of her “process” of having a complete breakdown
all the time. Montage of Helen having a breakdown every challenge. Helen laughs
at herself except for every time someone has an interview about her she looks
pissed. Then she says she “doesn’t take criticism well” which certainly is
true. She tries to claim to Tim she doesn’t get herself worked up. Uh huh. She
blames it on being on her period, which probably sets feminism back several
decades, and then complains that there were several meltdowns this season and
why focus on her? Have you been paying attention? That is ALL we have been
doing. Tim makes her stop and says she sounds defensive, but she insists that
she “never” had meltdowns like this EVER and people won’t hire her and
whatever. Arguing that you’re not a drama queen doesn’t work when you failed at
social media so thoroughly. Then everyone is like “it’s so hard to be on this
show” which, what the fuck EVER. You’re on TV. If you don’t like it, then don’t
be on TV. It is season 12. You know what you are getting into.
Tim is tired of everyone. I do not feel bad for
how everyone is stressed and tired and working hard. Not one bit. Everyone is
blaming how hard they were working and I am really done with all the whining
about how little time they have, usually we have more than 8 hours, blah blah.
If you can’t figure out by now that you will not have time to do anything
properly, then you’re not paying attention. I just noticed they put quotes on
the walls. Dumb. There weren’t that many great quotes. Dom says she went into
every challenge excited about how much fun she was going to have. That’s why
she won, I bet.
Tim says he doesn’t see any of the confessional
footage until the show airs. Montage of trash talking from confessional.
Generally I don’t really pay attention to the little inset box where people are
talking about the clip, but the first clip is of Alexandria saying Kate should
go home, and Helen being like “Oh, wow” like she didn’t call Kate a bitch IN
THE SAME EPISODE. OK, if I get mad at Helen all the time I’ll never get this
done. There is some trash talking about dresses and some about people’s
personalities, which is always a tricky thing. Mostly I think people laughed at
it.
Helen and Ken both have regrets. Ken says he
wishes he had been more professional. He’s either grown up or someone told him
how to do damage control. Either way it’s a nice foil to Sandro and whatever
the hell he’s been talking about. Helen thought she could “put all drama aside”
but it didn’t happen. Yeah…that’s true. Then she says she doesn’t understand
why Alexandria hates her. Is that why she’s been such a bitch on Twitter about
Alexandria? Way to put all drama aside. Oh, wait, I see, this is her excuse for
being a bitch. “I don’t know what is so disgusting about me”. Tim is like,
she’s sitting behind you, ask her. Alexandria is confused, because apparently
she didn’t think she harbored any animosity towards anyone. Really? I mean,
Helen’s no saint but Alexandria tended to go after people’s personalities and
not designs. Also you have no idea that’s what people thought? You can’t even
muster up “I know it looked that way but I didn’t mean it”? It’s so weird. She
does point out that she’s not the only one who said anything nasty, which is
certainly true. So Helen’s like, so I’m pulling this out of thin air, and
Alexandria says, yeah pretty much. Wow. I’m somehow perversely impressed with
Alexandria and how stone cold that was.
Kate says she was super nice and it hurt to hear
how nice Alexandria was. Well, she was like, stealthy about it. That’s why it
was weird on the runway when she threw everyone under the bus. Helen asks if
she should apologize, and Alexandria is like, I don’t know what you’re talking
about so no? Helen responds that she said plenty of nasty things about Alexandria,
but totally justified so it’s OK when Helen does it. But whatever. Alexandria
has nothing to say. No one will stick up for either of them, until eventually
Ken says Alexandria does talk about people behind their backs. Helen keeps
talking but OMG you are not going to get an apology. She doesn’t feel bad. Stop
creating drama and drop it. Alexandria says she fast forwards through some of
the show and Helen’s like “oh, I fast forward through you too.” THEN HOW DO YOU
KNOW SHE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT YOU? Helen, you just look like a bitch. Finally
Alexandria says it’s draining when Helen freaks out, and Helen has no response
but to say that Alexandria freaks out too and that’s uncomfortable too, except
she doesn’t freak out as much as you, so shut up. Oh, and then Helen pulls out
the “And you’re a teacher?!” line like she’s SO concerned about America’s
youth, and Helen you can fuck right off. Finally Sandro, of all people,
basically tells her to shut up because she looks bad. I don’t think Helen won
that. Alexandria didn’t get upset, you didn’t hurt her, and you didn’t get your
apology so what it looked like was someone beating up on a person who does not
care. And the person who does not care always wins.
Fine, let’s talk about the Tim Gunn save.
Everyone loves Justin. Justin didn’t want to disappoint anyone with his second
chance. Yeah, I could see that. Ken says he thinks Justin has a bigger calling
than this (dumb) show, so he doesn’t think anyone is mad at Tim that he saved
Justin and not them.
Tim has some tweets about the show. Helen looks
slightly worried. She should be. Jeremy tweeted “Tomorrow’s fucking episode is
all about Bradon’s phony marriage proposal”. Damn, really? And then Ken
responded, “Child I know! I hope he gets his damn Oscar nomination.” Bradon
doesn’t look very amused. Helen looks scandalized, like, bitch I saw some of
the things you said. Jeremy thought the proposal was “scene-stealing”. But
Jeremy is already married! He won’t budge from his opinion that Bradon was
trying to hog the spotlight or whatever. Bradon is like, I was in the moment
and I would hope you would have some happiness for me because it’s what you
have already. See, that’s how you do it. Bradon also claims someone messaged
him that he was able to change their mind about gay marriage. Sure. Ken tweeted
about the judges having their pets on leashes. The judges have favorites. Yes.
Tim pretends to not understand, but we all know it’s true. The judges play
favorites. Alexander gets bitchy because I guess Tim “twisted” his words about
the judges having favorites and implied Alexander didn’t think Dom should have
won. Tim claims that’s not what he said and that’s not what Alexander said and
whatever. Tim has a whole pile of bitter tweets from Alexander, because his
tweets are about how the show is rigged and everyone has to fit whatever
stereotype, because I guess Alexander doesn’t watch reality shows. He has a
point though. Tim gets offended and says he has too much integrity to be part
of a production that would plan out the whole season. Tim, come on. We all know
they do it. The producers have gotten really sloppy about it. Tim says bullshit
but Tim, I’m sorry, but I don’t buy it. Sandro thinks the judges go on Google
to look them up and Tim is like, false, loser, they don’t give a shit about
you. Tim then claims if the show was rigged, Mondo would have won season 8. Oh,
Tim. Why do you think they invented All-Stars in the first place? So Mondo
could win.
Kate claims she doesn’t have a favorite season,
but this season she didn’t have to be on stupid teams so this season was good.
Dom is close to everyone. Alexandria thought it was cool to be pushed in
challenges. Who has had fan encounters? Ken says people come up to him and say
he’s not as crazy as they thought. Hee. Timothy says he has the opposite,
everyone says he really is that crazy. Many pre-teen girl fans. Helen claims
she got a lot of emails from married men. Bitch please. Justin has a new
family.
The end! Finally! All-Stars next!
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