Project Runway 7/25/13--"Million Dollar Runway" summary

Previously on Project Runway: We met a new crop of designers (and Kate from last season) and briefly teased everyone like they might jump out of planes. Sadly no, but they did have to make outfits out of parachutes. It actually was not as bad as I thought, so that’s good. Timothy is a crazy hippie that talks about unicorns and Sandro is from Russia and is obnoxious. So there is some drama. Bradon won, because he was the only one to use the parachute to make a train and a dress with some movement. Even though Timothy made an ugly dress, and Sandro had to have his model’s crotch blurred out (SERIOUSLY), Angela was just boring so she was sent home. Crotch. Blurred. Out. (click for more)

A big armored truck pulls up outside and a bunch of guys all dressed up to look like SWAT are walking around with briefcases. Every guy I’ve ever seen associated with an armored truck looks like a rent-a-cop. Please. Everyone freaks out like they’re all criminals or something. Heidi appears with the velvet bag and everyone forgets the SWAT guys. The models all come out, all wearing very expensive jewelry. Lots of diamonds. Also I am glad to notice the models are not barefoot. There is over $30 million on that runway. Everyone freaks out. The challenge is to create al look that is glamorous enough to go with the jewels. I have to admit, since I figured out what the challenge was, I have been waiting to see if Timothy says something about blood diamonds. Oh no, he heaves a giant put-upon sigh and says he’s not inspired by money, and he’ll have to pick out the “prettiest” diamonds and that is “superficial”. Are you fucking kidding me? The fashion designer is complaining about how something is superficial.

Bradon, as the winner, gets to pick first, and then the velvet bag. It’s not exciting but Dom says she’s not used to eveningwear, and Timothy is last so he doesn’t have to choose so shut it, unicorn boy.

In the workroom, Tim says everyone’s computer has a photo of their jewelry. They have 30 minutes to sketch, and then Mood. There’s some app on the phone so they can track things. They have $4000 for the whole season. Interesting. So if you thought you were going home you could go all out, but it might screw you later. I wonder if there will be begging or borrowing later. One day challenge. Sandro starts yelling about brown diamonds. Timothy says something about trash to treasure. He’s being inspired by the blue velvet box the jewelry is in. When they get to Mood, it turns out they have a suggested budget of $300. That’s cool, suggestions. Timothy heads for the remnants. Tim points out they have organic fabrics too. They also have 45 minutes to shop which seems like more than usual.

Kate has planned to do something very dramatic and borderline costume. Sandro is in the sewing room yelling about how someone jacked up his sewing machine. I guess someone else has been using it and it’s messed up, but Ken is laughing at him and saying it’s not his problem, so Sandro responds by asking him to shut up for five minutes. As they yell about nothing, Justin quietly takes his implant out so they don’t distract him. He says he doesn’t want to put the needle in his finger. Heh. I’m not sure why Sandro is yelling at Ken, other than that Ken doesn’t seem to care about Sandro’s problems, but the argument ends with Ken saying “Speak fucking correct English, how about that?” and then interviewing that Sandro is on his period, which is unfortunate. Kahindo has silk charmeuse, which she has never worked with before. Yikes. Justin thinks the print looks too much like camouflage.

Tim Time! Dom has a green and white print because she wanted to mimic the emeralds. Tim doesn’t want the dress too “poolside” because unless the girl is a “gold-digging floozy” she’s not going to walk around with jewels and a maxi beach dress. Hee. Floozy. Alexandria has black and white checked trim that might be too much. Justin has a lot of layers and tiers and Tim thinks he should eliminate some because of time. But Justin is aiming big so he’s ignoring Tim. Bradon’s fabric looks more expensive than it actually was. Also curtain fabric? Well, he’s immune so he figured to go for it. Kahindo has a keyhole in the back of her bodice, and it’s puckered because silk charmeuse, and Tim is concerned. He suggests she put some overlay on top of things I guess to hide the puckering? Or the print? I’m not sure. Kate has some boning and a corset top. Sandro is going for 50s. Like, the 1950s. Tim just tells him to “hone your critical eye”. Helen has a bunch of rouching, and Tim asks if she has time, but she’s very confident. She starts to say something about blowing Tim’s mind but stops in the middle because she says it’s dirty sounding. Alexander has piles and piles of chiffon. Tim says “granny” and Alex clutches his pearls about it. Timothy has put a sheer white fabric on the top, with a blue velvet rectangle over her boobs like a censor bar. And a blue velvet full skirt. Tim tries to tell him it looks dumb, but he knows Timothy is just smiling and nodding at this point and everyone knows it. It’s a hot mess and Tim basically tells him he’s going home unless he fixes it and puts some design in.

Timothy suddenly is wondering if he should just quit now and people give him some suggestions, which is more than I would do. A lot of people are telling him to drape, I guess. Whatever. Helen is apparently also wandering around dispensing advice. Kahindo is taking Tim’s suggestions. Model fitting. Timothy promises his model he can sew really fast. Are you going to promise to let her wear shoes? Helen is adding a fishtail to her skirt with like, an hour left, and she seems lost. She is not confident. Sue puts the wrong thread on her garment? Someone used the machine she had been using, and changed the thread color, and she’s the one who can’t work the machines. She claims she was totally working, and she just left, but even if you know what you’re doing it takes a bit of time to change out the thread and then sew things so she must have been gone for a while. The sewing room is treated to her passive-aggressive complaining about how pressed for time she is and how SOMEONE changed the thread and she doesn’t have time to learn how to change it back because she has so much to do and blah blah. Dom offers to help her, and it looks like she tried but Sue’s still complaining so Dom goes to do her own stuff.

Day of the runway. Kahindo’s hair is FAB. Sandro thinks Timothy is going home, and he calls him “Amish” which is a pretty good nickname. Bradon tries to stand up for him but Sandro refuses to give Timothy any credit. In the workroom Sandro asks if anyone has a regular pin because “I need to sew my hookers”. Hee. Tim appears to tell them he’s sending the models in. Helen reveals she’s never done a bodice with bust cups. She’s sewing the darts in the wrong direction and it’s not looking that great. Timothy is bragging he finished a dress in three hours. Hot makeup guy Scott greets Timothy by telling him L’Oreal is wonderful in sustainability. HA! I love you, Scott. At 10 minutes left, there is still sewing happening. Sandro tries to set up the steamer, but he has no idea what he’s doing, and no one will stop and help him. So he curses up a blue streak and goes off to some back hallway. He finds a random crew member, like, physically grabs him and tries to make him work the steamer. Luckily the guy escapes. Now Sandro is sitting in the sewing room about to cry and sulking. Drama.

Guest judge is Eric Daman, who is a costume designer. Dom: the print is mostly white with green dots in an abstract kind of pattern. The skirt is long, but gathered in the front and trimmed in sheer green so it doesn’t look so beachy. The top is just a simple V neck with skinny straps. There is a loop off one shoulder. The necklace is a Y shape with diamonds and emeralds and it looks great with the green in the dress. The back is mostly open with the loops, and then she has a headband? Not sure about the headband. Long train. Justin: long black dress, with a strapless sweetheart neckline. It looks like chiffon all in the skirt, so it moves well, and ,making it all black means your eye is instantly drawn to her big necklace and all the sparkle. Ken: a dark teal strapless dress with a peplum. The peplum continues as a ruffle down one side, and the skirt is long and slim. The necklace is just diamonds, no color, but it looks good. Kind of 80’s. Kahindo: short dress, sleeveless, with a round neckline, in that print that now looks like stripes of different colors. She’s got a sheer brown over all of the print so it just looks duller than it did. The skirt hits below the knee. Alexandria: long purple dress, with a cowl neckline. Its’ a very dark purple, or maybe navy. It sits weird, or is a weird length or something. I think it’s about 4 or 5 inches off the ground in the front but hits the floor in the back? I know everyone has different jewelry, but mostly people have been pretty good about making things that look expensive enough for diamonds. Miranda: two pieces, in blue, a crop top and skirt so her midriff is exposed in a strip. The top is a sweetheart neckline with thick straps. Actually, I think it looks cheap and also exposed midriff, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t see this design at all before this moment so she’s probably safe. Alexander: well, it’s hard to see, because the editors keep cutting back and forth, so THANKS FOR NOTHING. But it looks like a long dress in black or dark brown, with a fitted bodice and a miniskirt. And then chiffon everywhere over that skirt, so it moves a lot, and big puffy sleeves lined in yellow so you get a flash of yellow as she walks. Maybe they’re not sleeves but big lengths of fabric attached at the shoulder and wrist.

Kate: long dramatic gown in light gray. You can see the boning in the bodice, and the fabric is draped over and around that, and then the skirt is full but gathered on one hip so it’s not even around the bottom. Also a band around one arm for no reason. I am not a fan of that. The back is almost bustled. Timothy: Oh, Timothy. Long blue velvet dress, with a weird high collar neckline. Like, if the gown was supposed to be a high collared gown but you put cutouts at the shoulders. There are two white sheer pieces over the shoulders, positioned like straps or a vest but I think sewn in, and then a white sheer panel on one side of the skirt. The jewelry sits on top of the high neck. The bottom of the skirt is like a handkerchief hem, and there’s a train. Sigh. Karen: light blue dress, long, with a drop waist and a top like a camisole. There’s some pleating at the waist, but a drop waist always makes me think of flappers. And it makes most people look thick. But like Miranda, I haven’t seen this dress before now. Or remembered there was a person named Karen. Jeremy: long dress in black silk, with spaghetti straps and a slim cut. Right at her knees are piles and piles of tulle in gray and white. So the silhouette is of a mermaid gown. Sandro: the top is cropped, so there is skin showing. It’s mostly beige with some darker brown strips radiating from the bottom hem of the bodice. The top part is folded pieces of fabric so it’s angular. The skirt is a very tight beige pencil skirt that hits below the knee and has dark brown piping and side panels. The model is walking very slowly so I wonder if the skirt is too tight.

Helen: well, from what I can see of the dress, it doesn’t look that great. But Helen is literally shaking, she’s so upset, so Heidi tells Tim to go talk to her. And the model leaves so that’s all we can see for now. Helen is very upset about her construction and embarrassed, I guess. Tim is awesome and tells her that he knows it’s not how she usually does things but also that she can’t do anything about it now. We continue, and now we can see her dress is mostly brown, with a lighter putty bodice. The skirt is long, but the putty starts on her hips which makes her hips look wider for some reason. The top is terrible. It looks like it’s supposed to fit like a corset, and have molded cups for her boobs, but they just look flat and the stitching is not right. She looks like she has no chest. Sue: long black dress. That’s about it. The top looks like she took a deep V and tied a big horizontal piece of fabric around her torso. And the straps are too fat or too close together because the necklace is sitting on top of them. Bradon: long silver shiny dress, and some weird sheer shrug with a big diamond of the shiny fabric on the back. I think it might be too much shiny? Also the shrug thing is weird. There’s a pointed cutout on one side at her hip.

Heidi calls Dom, Sandro, Timothy, Kahindo, Helen, and Kate as the top and bottom. Dom liked the print because she thought it looked like more jewels. Nina loves that it looks young, but the hem trim is a little too dark. They hate on the headband a bit but all the judges like the movement. Timothy is talking about blue velvet boxes but all the judges look skeptical. Heidi is glad to see some makeup but not hair stuff. Then he admits he went through remnants, and then Zac says he thinks the velvet came from his studio because he didn’t use it. I can’t tell if Zac is serious or not. He says it looks backwards, and they keep saying it’s a “razorback” but it is a RACERBACK. The velvet is sucking the color out of the stones. Nina wants a tuxedo jacket. Kate starts talking about Marie Antoinette and a sheet and a corset and…something. Heidi knew this was Kate’s because of the corset. It’s very pretty and light. The necklace pops and the fabric is a great color also. Zac tells Kate this is her strongest look ever. Sandro was the only one with burgundy gems which is why this outfit is brown. Heidi says he piled a bunch of stuff on again, but then she likes it. What? Sigh. Everyone says it’s great he chose an “unpredictable” fabric, and Nina actually ignores that it’s wrinkled. Zac doesn’t, though, and tells Sandro he should have steamed it. Heh. The side panels are actually sheer so Zac says it’s trashy but then the exposed midriff makes it LESS trashy? WTF? Kahindo liked the print, but Heidi is too bored and it’s not impressive enough. The colors work for her model but they don’t do anything for the jewelry. She should have done more. Helen admits she’s never done bust cups, and Heidi is always shocked people attempt things they’ve never done before. Then Helen says eveningwear is her forte. How have you never done bust cups then? The model turns around and the seam over her butt is really jacked up. Just poor choices all around, it sounds like, wrong fabric and then there are too many mistakes. Nina tells Helen she is having a hard time believing Helen’s an eveningwear designer, and she gets upset and says she wants to do couture and she’s going to keep doing it until she gets it. Sandro is upset for some reason, and when Heidi asks him about it, he says she tried to do her best so don’t judge her too much. Interesting.

In the Scrap Bin, Timothy is talking about how maybe after being on the bottom twice he might not get another chance. Sandro tells him that the problem is he is always talking, so if Timothy just shut up they wouldn’t have as much ammunition to attack him with. Timothy says he felt he was having a conversation with the judges. I think that’s true, but there’s some truth in what Sandro is saying as well. Of course, Sandro is being an ass about it, but that’s Sandro. The up close judging is not terribly exciting, except for the part where Heidi thinks Helen’s dress is much, much worse up close. Also Tim admits he told Kahindo to put the tulle over the print, but then he shows them what the print looks like without the overlayer and they thank him profusely. Heidi lines up the bottom three and says two have bad construction and one is boring. So I guess Kahindo is doomed.

Sandro is in. Kate is the winner and has immunity. The other designers were complaining about how she has been copying other, more famous designers, so we’ll see how much they complain. Dom is in. Helen is in. Timothy is in. See, I told you. Aww. She thinks it was good enough to sell to people so she’s feeling it was kind of harsh. Tim is not using the save, but he’s super nice to her. Kahindo’s not ready to go, but she has to, so she’s going to be gracious about it.

Next week: Heidi wakes everyone up, Coney Island, whatever prizes you win are the materials for another unconventional materials challenge, Sandro and Timothy piss people off.