Monday, July 2, 2012

Hell's Kitchen 7/2/12--"11 Chefs Compete" summary

Previously on “Hell’s Kitchen”: the women went to a spa, while the men had to clean the dorms. That’s about how much drama there was with that. The women all still hate each other, but unlike the men, they are able to ignore that to finish dinner service. The men try to get rid of Clemenza and Brian, but Ramsey sees right through all of that nonsense and nominates Roshni for screwing up meat, and Patrick for generally not being a leader. Roshni tries to repeat Clemenza’s passionate defense of himself, which worked for Clemenza but does not work for Roshni, who is sent home. (click for more)
Christina gets briefly called back for some praise about her dish yesterday. Right, because we’re down to a small enough number that Ramsey is starting to praise people. Kimmie brags about how great the women are. Clemenza is still pissed off about being nominated, but in the end, he didn’t get eliminated so whatever. Patrick bitches at Royce for nominating him, and also for picking him when everyone else said Roshni should go home. Empty threats are spoken.
   
In the morning, apparently…Kimmie is a rapper. It lessens your effect when you have to read your words off a piece of paper. Also your rhythm is terrible.
   
Ramsey has a giant rectangle covered in a gold sheet. He asks them if they are feeling lucky. Hmm. Vegas-related commentary about luck. Dana says she doesn’t get it. I don’t exactly get it because haven’t we already had more than one “pick random ingredients and make something” challenge? I mean, that’s usually what this is, some spinner or craps table or whatever. Ah…a slot machine. Eh…I’ve seen it before. There will be one cut of steak, and four “complementary” ingredients. Royce yells about beef and I want to smack him. Shut up, Royce. Only five dishes will be tasted, so the women have to pick one person to not be at the slot machine. Oo, they don’t even get to cook anything? Usually they let them cook and then Ramsey tastes their dish and says it’s the best one. No one wants to sit out, because it’s steak and Ramsey is opening a steakhouse, but eventually Kimmie volunteers. She basically just gives up trying to argue and is like “fine, whatever”. Everyone spins and yells out the slot machine results. It’s not exciting except that Royce and Christina will be competing again, and she kicked his ass last time, and he says “I won’t stop ‘till she’s crying”. Nice. Also, suspiciously, no one gets the same cut of steak or even the same side ingredients. Now for the twist: Kimmie will still be cooking. She has to pick one of her teammates to go up against, so she can basically pick what she wants. She picks Robyn, which of course pisses off Robyn, and then her team will taste both dishes and pick one to go up against Clemenza.
   
30 minutes. Some flailing, and more fucking annoying confessional footage from Royce. He was just stupid before, but now I actively want him to fail. Kimmie is frying things, as she says that is “the Southern way”. People talk about how they are going to win. Patrick mentions seasoning everything. It’s implied Clemenza runs out of time. Yeah, it’s not very exciting. Ramsey gives the women one minute to decide if Kimmie or Robyn is going to serve. Kimmie tries to describe her dish, but the women just talk over her, asking if they can taste things. In the end they go with Robyn’s dish, which makes Kimmie cry, but she tells Ramsey she’s fine. Robyn says with disgust that she’s working with a child. Like you’re so great yourself.
   
Tiffany and Justin: filet, beets, carrots, zucchini, and chorizo. Justin seems to have a chorizo pancake and cream sauce, “ truffle smashed” beets, glazed carrots. Ramsey says it’s delicious. Tiffany has stuffed the filet with zucchini and chorizo. Apparently that is a waste of filet. Ramsey likes the taste, but since it’s been stuffed, it’s overcooked. One point for the men. Royce and Christina: hanger steak, eggplant, asparagus, yams, and crab. Christina marinated her steak, and then pan-fried the eggplant and wrapped it around the asparagus. But the yams are dull. Everything else is great, though. Royce made a crab cake and grilled the vegetables. Well, most of the vegetables, because the eggplant is not cooked enough. Christina wins, so ha on Royce. Dana and Patrick: flatiron steak, potatoes, mushrooms, spinach, and blue cheese. Dana’s dish looks kind of gross and has a lot of sauce. And then her steak is overcooked. Dana did some classic steakhouse sides, but Patrick made mushroom and potato hash and blue cheese cream sauce. Of course since Patrick made a big deal about seasoning, he’s oversalted everything. No points for anyone. Barbie and Brian: NY strip, celery root, tomatoes, cauliflower, and shrimp. Brian promises to “slam [his] head into the first hard, blunt object [he] can find” if he loses. Barbie’s steak is delicious and the shrimp are cooked properly. Brian talks a bunch, and his steak is great too. Barbie wins, but then so does Brian, so a point for everyone. So of course the score is tied, and the last dish is Robyn and Clemenza: rib eye, parsnip, broccoli, corn, and bacon. So I’m going to call it now: the men will win, and Ramsey will taste Kimmie’s dish and claim it would have beaten Clemenza. Clemenza’s steak is slightly undercooked, but it tastes great. In contrast, Robyn’s steak is overcooked and the rub is soggy. See? I told you.
   
Kimmie is crying, I guess because she’s tired of losing. Even though she hasn’t said anything to Robyn, Robyn takes it personally and says it’s not her fault because the whole team made the decision and Kimmie needs to get over it. So now of course Kimmie’s dish is brought up to be tasted, and is delicious. Robyn says she knew he would say that, but she’s still the one who needs to get over it. Robyn reluctantly admits it tastes good, but comes back with the fact that it looks terrible. Kimmie gloats in confessional. Men are going to Sur La Table, which is awesome. Also fancy lunch. Red team has to prep for “Steak Night”, which means Ramsey has ordered a whole side of beef that they’ll need to drag inside and prep.
   
When the beef comes, Kimmie is shocked at how big it is. Haven’t you ever seen a live cow? “Me and Clemenza could lie down next to each other and that thing would STILL be bigger!” OK, that was funny. The sound editors helpfully add in a moo. Somehow the women manage to make it inside. As the men shop, they are thrilled. That is a cool store. Christina feels this is Robyn’s fault, and she tells Kimmie (in front of everyone, of course) that Kimmie should have sold her dish more. Robyn bitches about everyone and the lack of a team, because of course she hasn’t been badmouthing everyone else all day. The men are leering at their waitress, and seriously I would refuse to serve them. I liked it when they were pretending to be gentlemen for Roshni. Robyn announces that Barbie took her knife kit, and then everyone basically tells her to shut up and stop being such a bitch. Kimmie tries to claim it’s because Robyn speaks with “aggression”, but Robyn just says no one is going to change how anyone else here speaks. I think Robyn has a point, but no one is going to take her side. She declares she is not going to talk to anyone. Robyn says everyone is giving dirty looks, and Kimmie says that means Robyn is doing it too. What? Kimmie shuts down and says she’s not in the mood, but then KEEPS TALKING about how annoyed she is. If you’re going to claim you don’t want to deal with it today, then you have to shut up. Kimmie then claims in confessional that she is done with childish games and she is letting it go.
   
Back in the dorms, Robyn says she is also over it and needs to sleep. Of course, Kimmie snores, and it keeps Robyn awake so she has to go sleep on the couch or whatever. I can’t imagine this is the first night Kimmie has snored that loudly. If you snore, you snore all the time. Oh, I was wrong. Robyn snuck into the other bedroom, so then when those people wake up, they freak out. Somehow that is too creepy. I agree. Robyn is super butthurt and shocked that the other girls want her to sleep on the sofa next time. Dude, you don’t sneak into a bedroom at 5am and crash out on the spare bed. Now she doesn’t trust anyone and she’s pissed. Robyn finds a sympathetic ear in Tiffany, which, how does Tiffany sleep through the snoring? Patrick prays to a picture of his kids and gets emotional.
   
Everyone gets ready for service, especially Justin, who seems to be taking the leadership bossy role from Patrick. Tiffany declares she doesn’t care if the onions are sliced or what, and Barbie interviews that Tiffany doesn’t care about standards. But she says it in a really obnoxious superior “I’m concerned and disappointed” teacher tone. Barbie tattles to Chef Andi and then smirks about it, because she refuses to let Tiffany bring the team down. Tiffany and Robyn complain that Barbie should have just redone the onions, which I’m sure would never have resulted in Tiffany bitching that Barbie is up in her business. Christina and Kimmie both say there is not time for this nonsense. Tiffany has to get in that Barbie can’t work on the line, and maybe she should learn before she passes judgment on Tiffany. Dana has also jumped on the “shut up during service” train with Kimmie and Christina.
   
Ramsey promises to be studying every detail, and also Justin’s dish is on the menu. So that’s why he’s been so bossy. Also there’s a children’s menu. Patrick and Kimmie are on meat, for Steak Night, so the pressure is on. All of a sudden Kimmie burns her hand. I’m not sure what happened, if she splashed oil on it or what, because it didn’t look like she touched the pan. The announcer confirms they’re grease burns, and the medic tells her she’s not going back into the kitchen. It’s hard to see, but you can tell that Kimmie is shaking pretty badly. The medic keeps telling her to breathe. What will happen?
   
Next time: supposedly we find out if Kimmie is going to quit the show, but then again, there’s a clip of her and Robyn getting in each other’s faces in the dorms. If she quit, I doubt that would have happened. Patrick gets kicked out of the kitchen. Christina is literally holding onto Kimmie. Man, we haven’t had a good fight on a reality show for a while.

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