Project Runway 9/29/11--"Sew 70's" summary

Previously on Project Runway: everyone must make clothes for a rock band. Horrors! They’re men--so most of the designers freak out. Olivier continues his freak-out from last week, that people who don’t fit the dress form are terrible and he wants nothing to do with them. The band is pretty good, and they have a classic rock sort of feel, so for some reason all the designers decide on super retro 60’s fringe and bell bottoms. Viktor won, because his clothes fit well and the fringe was at least tolerable. Olivier put the lead singer in toile with swans on it and khaki pants. Ewan, who is 6’3” and not a stick, also had to deal with Olivier calling him “big” during Tim Time, and I only mention that because Ewan is hot, I think. Anyway, Olivier lost and went home, I guess to find some models that look like mannequins. (click for more)

Anya is disturbed to be in the bottom. Josh fake-congratulates Viktor on his win and then tells the rest of his apartment that “clothing is clothing” so he doesn’t understand how people could freak out at menswear. Shut up, Josh. He might be sincere to Viktor, I just don’t trust anything that he says. Viktor is worried about people being nasty.

Heidi asks everyone if they’re surprised to still be in the competition. Everyone says no, but eventually Bert admits that he’s a little surprised. See, that’s the Bert that we all loved that first episode. Heidi says they must “look to the past to find inspiration”.

Tim is waiting in the workroom with Heather Archibald, who is a buyer for Piperlime. Winning design will be sold online. Woo. I mean, it’s cool and everything, but they already had a challenge where the winning design was sold to the public, and they changed it a lot and then overcharged for it. The girl says Piperlime customers are obsessed with trends, which they probably are, and then she says they are obsessed with the “sophisticated 70’s”. God. I just saw this last week. She actually brings up flared pants. We saw that too. Everyone gets a dossier to study. Tim says they are required to make “sophisticated 70’s inspired looks, not vintage, not retro.” Then he says the last challenge was too literal so don’t do that again. Bert asks a specific question about prints and the size of prints. Larger is better. 30 minutes to sketch. Bert is all over it. Josh knows nothing about the 70s because of course he’s only 25 years old. Kimberly is doing “sexy secretary”. Laura claims to be a 70s glam kind of girl. Anya is thinking resort. Tim walks in and no one raises their heads or acknowledges him. I think he’s hurt.

30 minutes and $100 at Mood. That’s all? I guess polyester is cheap. Everyone is buying prints. Josh claims plaids are not really prints. Anya has shoved her envelope of money in her bra, basically. She’s got a sleeveless maxi dress on, and it’s under one of the straps in the front. Somewhere in Mood, it falls out. She can’t find it anywhere. I kept expecting a cut to a commercial right here, as everyone is looking for the money, and then when we got back someone would have found it. I watch too much “Amazing Race”. Tim finally calls her over and says that she can ask others for money, or use only muslin, but those are her only options. They actually put a commercial here, but on the “Coming Up” section they showed her begging for money and crying. She manages to get $11, so she gets a zebra-like print, a zipper, and buttons. Tim twists the knife and brings up how generous she was last challenge, when she gave away fabric. You only gave them $100. They don’t have change.

When they get back to Parsons, people start offering her random pieces of fabric. It seems too early to know for certain you’re not using everything. Viktor says it’s a competition and he can’t help her. Exactly. Tim comes to praise everyone for being nice, and to remind them not to make anything vintage but “inspired by”. At the same time it has to be something people can mass produce.

Anya doesn’t know what she’s going to do with muslin, which is a crappy fabric. Viktor asks Bert if something is “70s inspired” and he jokes that he must be the History Channel. He knows his experience, in addition to his age, are giving him a leg up on everyone else. He has also chosen rose gold sequins. It’s eye catching, anyway. Anthony wants something easy but modern. Josh of course is only familiar with “glam disco 70s” which I’m sure surprises no one. He is trying to keep it in check. Laura starts talking about how she loves vintage and she’s wearing vintage right now. Except for the part where they were told not to make a vintage outfit. Josh seems to be bored and comes over to rummage through Viktor’s fabric. I’m not sure why he’s doing that. Viktor assumes he’s copying again like he did last week. Look, Viktor, I don’t like him either, but pretty much every single person put fringe on their outfit last week so I don’t think accusing Josh of copying you is really going to fly here. Anya is dyeing things with random techniques. Lots of working and trash talking other people. Seriously, everyone just talks shit about how everyone else’s fabric is ugly. For some reason, Laura declares Kimberly’s print is “JCPenny” and she and Anya claim they made a pact that the three girls would tell each other if they were making poor choices. Anya talks her out of it. Seriously, you’re going to tell Kimberly now, when she can’t do anything, that her print sucks. That’s not useful. Bert is making hot pants. He and Laura talk about Studio 54, and Laura asks if that’s where he got his Halston job. “No. *long pause* I got it on a balcony. Third row.” Is…that dirty? “Could be.” Kick ass. Laura is disturbed, but honey you asked for it. There are some weird shots of Josh feeling up the jacket Viktor is making, and creepy music, and then Kimberly tells Viktor that the inverted pleat on the back of his jacket “has become popular”. Kimberly and Anya agree that Viktor draped first. The more he thinks about it, the more he thinks his stuff looks better than Josh’s anyway.

Tim shows up and says that there is a twist: one additional look that is one piece. Apparently the original looks were supposed to be separates. I missed that. $50 and 15 minutes at Mood. Thanks, Lifetime, for making me briefly excited that I could handle seven looks no problem. Everyone seems to have a problem with this budget. Lots of mental math and careful planning.

Tim time! Anthony Ryan concerns Tim. He thinks it’s too old. Anthony Ryan also says he’s planning a maxi dress, and Tim doesn’t think anyone else is making one, so he tells him it’s a good idea. Oh, don’t cut in a shot of Josh looking up at that, producers, I know full well that’s probably random B-footage. Anya’s waistline looks terrible. She’s also got a jumpsuit which gets more praise. Bert has a very disco dress, and Laura says she doesn’t understand him, AGAIN, like he does it on purpose just to screw with her. I think Tim’s just kind of leaving him alone. Kimberly has a jumper too, maybe, and the other look has a bare midriff. Tim cautions against a bare midriff plus a miniskirt on the same model. Viktor needs more safari elements for his jacket. Josh’s top…ugh. It’s a weird raspberry and black. Mostly red with black piping down the sleeves and a black bib piece. It makes me think of Star Trek. Laura has a jumpsuit with some fabric that Tim thinks needs a different design. Then he tells Laura that Nina hates her taste level. Oh, he’s nicer about it, because he’s Tim Gunn, but that’s essentially the message.

Laura immediately assumes that Nina kept her from winning the last challenge. Uh huh. She’s in the sewing room telling everyone that her style is too refined, so there should be no taste problems because obviously she has the opposite problem. The models come in, but there’s not a lot that happens there. Lots of frantic working after that, though. Bert shows Josh how to do…something…thread a drawstring, I think. He basically says “Do it like you’re putting on a you-know-what.” Oh, say “condom” Bert. Josh laughs, and Bert is like “A sock! Pantyhose!” That was funny. Anthony Ryan asks Anya’s opinion because she is his target client. Anya’s wide-legged pants are way too wide. Josh is now making a maxi dress because he knows he can make it with the time he has left.

Day of the show. Tim gives them 2 hours, and reminds them this is the Piperlime challenge so use the stupid wall. Anya starts cursing up a storm because she’s sewing the pants to themselves, I guess, instead of finishing them. Hot makeup guy wears glasses to actually apply the makeup. Somehow this makes him hotter. Kimberly has to recut a waistband. In the end she has to sew the girl into the outfit. Anya runs to the sewing room with one minute left. Really?

Guest judge is Olivia Palermo, Piperlime guest editor. Kimberly: a circle top, which is too short so you can see the model’s stomach. It’s just a big top with a turquoise and black print. This is paired with a black pencil skirt and red shoes. I don’t know that it’s 70s either. The other look is a wide legged gray jumpsuit. I think it’s just a vest and pants sewn together. The vest is just OK, the pants are pretty good. Anthony Ryan: dress in a red and gray and brown print, which looks vaguely Native American. There is a tan belt, and a sleeveless long vest over it in a black and white zig zag. He starts talking about the pieces, and apparently it’s a red miniskirt with a print sleeveless top. The second look is a maxi dress in a stripy print with the same color scheme. There are wide sleeves and a bare back. Bert: black hot pants with a sheer skirt and blousy top. Both the skirt and top are in gold tones. It’s very retro and not so much modern. The other dress is a short shift dress with an A-line skirt. Seriously, it is a very simple dress that is gray in the front and beige in the back and probably took him an hour to make. There is no sign of the gold sequined top he had been making, unless it‘s under that chiffon.

Laura: black and white chevron top and a maxi skirt in a weird yellow and blue mottled print. Also a jumpsuit with black chiffon pants and a gray silk spaghetti strap top. Josh: Jesus Christ. High waisted tight pants in a black and white plaid, and that pink and black top with the black bib that looks like a Star Trek uniform. It’s ridiculous. The top is weirdly loose, and the pants make her ass look huge, and it has leopard print booties. Also a maxi dress with a black bodice and a sweetheart neckline, and the print is yellow and purple mostly. Anya: high waisted wide pants and a simple tank top out of muslin. The pants are kind of short. It’s not the greatest. The other look seems to be a maxi dress, but it’s pants. The print is brown and white and it looks like Anya fished it out of her closet. Viktor: light pants with a flare, and an awesome jacket with a belt and pockets. There is a black and white top too. I don’t know how safari the jacket is, but it looks good. Also a black dress with an asymmetric hem and a v-neck top in a snakeskin print.

Kimberly gets called forward as being exactly in the middle and safe. Laura wanted an easy knit and something that would read well online. They like the jumpsuit but the chevron top and maxi skirt don’t go together. However, the jumpsuit won’t be interesting online. Kors says they aren’t fashion. Laura totally would wear these outfits, she says. Viktor had a safari jacket when he was younger. Both Kors and Heidi wish the T-shirt was not there, apparently because they need more sex. It’s fine. They do love the jacket, but when she takes off the jacket, the top and pants are fine on their own. Viktor just happened to have snakeskin shorts to match. Hee. It all is great and looks expensive. Josh thinks his first look is masculine and something about masculine and feminine and freedom. Kors hates the pants. Hates. Them. It’s not easy and also is “1870’s in France.” Oh, he had to work for that one. Josh is like, oh, ha ha, I got the wrong 70s! Heidi declares this one of the worst outfits she’s seen in a while. How do you put so many things together? Josh says that’s who he is, and that scares Heidi. He gets defensive and basically says they don’t give them enough time to make quality clothing, but even so he puts “heart and soul” into all his pieces. Heidi tells him he can’t live in a bubble, his clothes have to appeal to other people. Olivia tells him how he could fix his outfits, and Nina just comes out and says his fabric is terrible, but at least he takes risks.

Anya explains how she lost her money, and how she loves jumpers. Of course everyone loves her outfit. Don’t act surprised, you knew she was going to do well. I’m not that surprised. It’s 70s looking without being a costume, and she did a good job picking out prints. Anthony Ryan likes the weed smoking of the 70s. No, really. His separates needed sleeves, and the two prints don’t go together. His maxi dress doesn’t work either. Kors says he likes that it’s an early 70s look, and then he asks to see the back of the skirt, and the hem is crooked and did he tie-dye the skirt? The girls look boring and like they’re in a cult. They might look boring but “cult” I think is a little too far. Bert talks about his inspirations, and Heidi of course has no problem with the hot pants. Nina says she would buy the metallic top. They do like the simple dress too, but I would bet partially because they know they can sell it easily.

Josh complains that he needed more time to do research, and why didn’t you do research before you came here? I would be reading up on all kinds of things. No one else lived through the 70s either except for Bert, I don’t think. Viktor basically tells him that. Josh of course gets defensive, accuses Viktor of being aggressive, and says that he didn’t grow up like Viktor so he can’t make assumptions. Kimberly says he’s not the only one who didn’t live through the 70s, and it’s part of being a fashion designer to know these things. Josh actually gets up and walks away.

Josh wasn’t thinking, and can’t edit. And those pants! Plus leopard! Olivia says he has to learn to take criticism. Anthony Ryan just didn’t make anything interesting, and it wouldn’t photograph well at all. Heidi brings up Laura, and both Kors and Nina make faces and gagging noises. The prints were terrible together, and the jumpsuit was very boring. True, I could go out right now and get pants like that. Anya has beautiful prints and her jumpsuit was so wonderful that both Nina and Heidi would wear it. Kors didn’t like the color of the top, but they seem to be grading on a curve, knowing it’s muslin. The metallic top of Bert’s outfit is great, even though the bottom maybe not so much. Both his looks would photograph very well. Viktor has been sneaking into the top. Kors loves that every one of his pieces was great.

Heidi claims the decision today was hard. Anya is the winner. OK, I know she did well and everything, but the winner? Really? It makes no sense at all. It’s very suspicious, how well she does. She only learned to sew 4 months ago but you never find any issues with her execution? She does things she’s never done before but every single time it turns into gold? Whatever. I like her but seriously, people. They then tell Bert his simple dress is going to be produced on Piperlime too, along with Anya’s jumpsuit. Viktor is in. Laura is in. Josh is in, of course. Can’t get rid of stupid drama boy. He hugs Viktor and says he’s sorry. You aren’t sorry. Heidi tells Kors and the camera that Anthony Ryan was cute. He’s glad to have been here, and he knows his voice was heard. Tim comes in and says he’s proud and you can hear him getting choked up. Compare that with the half-assed hug and goodbye Olivier got last week.

Next week: birds. And Collier Strong, who we have not seen one single time all season, so why can’t hot makeup guy get some screen time, and possibly a NAME, and do the consultations? Competing head-to-head. So that will be drama-filled.