Thursday, September 8, 2011

Project Runway 9/7/11--"Can't We All Just Get Along?" summary

Previously on Project Runway: the designers got to work alone, for once, to make “avant-garde” clothes. These outfits were based on student artwork, which was actually a cool touch. As always happens on this show, there is disagreement about what is “avant-garde” and what is just weird. Anthony Ryan won, which is nice for him, even if his dress was kind of literal and not perfectly made. Josh C., instead of using his werewolf painting to make a wolf costume, went too far the other way and was boring. He went home, for the second time. Also, do you know when the finale collections are being presented? TOMORROW. That’s right, this is the last episode before the Fashion Week show. I would gladly deal with Andy Cohen, and you all know how much I hate him, if it meant that the producers could go back to planning properly so that you don’t have a million decoys. It’s not hard. (click for more)

Anthony Ryan has immunity, but he still wants to win. Anya points out that she’s never been in the bottom, but hasn’t won either. Josh is still pissy that he didn’t win last week for making a painted rubber skirt and a fluffy top. Whatever. Button your shirt. You know his behavior is heinous when I tell a cute boy to button his shirt.

Heidi says they’ll be working in two teams of five. I am SO SICK of team challenges. She also pretends there will not be team leaders, but then Anthony Ryan gets to pick out his first teammate. He picks Anya. Heidi randomly picks Josh from the velvet bag, and he immediately asks if that means he gets to be the leader. Listen to the teacher when she is talking. Kimberly interviews that Josh has been bullying people he thinks he can bully. He picks out Laura. So then the second people (Anya and Laura) get to pick out the next members of the team, and so on. The first team is Anthony Ryan, Anya, Viktor, Olivier, and Bryce. Second team is Josh, Laura, Kimberly (who sighs in confessional that she doesn’t want to deal with “attitudes”), Becky (oh, Kimberly, that was mean), and Bert. Oh, of course, Josh and Bert have to deal with each other. Anthony Ryan is thrilled with his team. No one on Josh’s team will admit to being happy.

Tim makes everyone gather ‘round to tell them that this is the textile challenge. You know, where you make your own print. Why does this involve teams? Each team has to make a 5 piece collection, and a “fashion show” which apparently means they have to have a video to play in the background and also music. They get two days. Tim says something weird: “At least three looks must contain the textile designs, and they must be prominent.” Wouldn’t everyone get their own print? And use their own print in their outfit? Then randomly Betsy Johnson is there to “help” them use the computer program. She says a bunch of stuff about her inspirations, and then they watch a video of her latest show, and then she tries to impress on them that they have to work together, but we know it’s not happening.

OK, I have to pause for a rant here. I love the “make your own textile” challenge. There’s usually something fun, and there’s always something crazy ugly. Remember Mondo’s print and how it was awesome and perfectly Mondo? Making it a team challenge is bullshit. There is absolutely no reason for it, except that apparently the producers’ new motto is “drama at all costs”. They’ve put in as many team and pair challenges as they could, just to make sure people fight and are assholes. We’re not going to get the same prints out of people, because now they all have to agree on prints that go together so they can make a collection. So you’re limited on what you can do. You are limiting people’s creativity in the interest of creating drama. If I just wanted to watch drama I’d be watching “Big Brother”.

OK, so anyway, 30 minutes to “discuss” as a group. Josh just suggested “5 female versions of the Village People”. Are you serious? Laura complains that her team has two people (Becky and Bert) who are not creative, and Josh who can “snap in a minute”. Becky is depressed they can’t come up with anything. Of course the other team is getting along. Becky tries to get a vote going, and Josh votes for clocks? Who knows. Laura argues for black and white, and Becky asks about a splash of color. Josh says they all have to make a print, so “put all the goddamn color you want on it.” Oh, so you can’t be in charge so your panties are in a wad? Why are you voting for clocks? He interviews that in a couple of weeks he’s going to make his own collection and if he was leading, it would be his vision. Duh.

People design their prints. Anthony Ryan’s team has called themselves Team Chaos, while Team Dysfunction’s official name is Team Nuts and Bolts. Becky and Bert are going literal, with gears and clocks. Bryce feels that the rest of his team is micromanaging him because he’s the only one who hasn’t won yet. It looks like everyone on Team N&B made a bunch of prints, then they lined them all up and now they’re voting on which prints end up in the collection. See what I mean? Someone’s getting shafted into not having their own print made, which is cool even for people who make something crazy and are doomed. Bert can’t get his to print, so his team just picks things without him. He curses about it, and Josh says people with dirty mouths aren’t intelligent. This is said while he is wearing a shirt that is completely open down the front, and also after he’s already been bleeped once in this episode himself. Josh then decides he needs to “deal” with Bert by asking if this is the attitude everyone is talking about it and saying “I WILL. Not have it”. He then refuses to let Bert explain and tells him to back up. Oh, like Bert is going to kick your ass. Bert explains himself, and then Josh is like “Put a clock in it! I want a yard of clocks!” Everyone rolls their eyes, except Becky is like “good, it’s not me this time”. Bert, trying to be nice like he said he was going to do last time, says he likes what they have, but Josh says to put Bert’s print in because he won’t listen to Bert complaining for two days. I mean…I guess Bert has that history of acting like that. But Josh isn’t team leader. Whatever, I’m tired of this. Josh pretends he’s going to quit because he doesn’t like Bert’s attitude. Please. Josh pretends to be upset with himself for being upset, and Becky blames the stress of his mom’s death. The teams talk video, because some people are going to shoot the video and some are going to Mood.

Bryce and Viktor go off together, to shoot video of Times Square and that chaos. Josh and Laura are shooting the video, which I think Laura thought was a fantastic idea. But their video is about a girl who wears great shoes? Aren’t all their prints about clocks and time? And not shoes? I don’t know. Josh puts on some of the shoes for some reason. Laura finally tells him they need some clocks.

Back in the workroom, the teams edit their videos. Anya has a great idea to take their footage and mirror it to make it more abstract. They work for a while, but it’s not terribly exciting because they don’t have the prints yet, and then Josh demands everyone’s attention, “especially Bert”. He says he wants to apologize for his “insanity” this morning. He says in confessional that it wasn’t fair “to the others in the competition” and that there was a black cloud “over my team. [beat] OUR team.” Specifically he apologizes to the other members of his team, and Bert, so there’s that. Bert knows what’s up, though, because he knows Josh could have come to him personally, without making a grandstanding announcement to everyone. But at the same time, he did apologize.

In the morning everyone gets their fabric. No one has any color. Seriously. All the prints are black and white. WTF is that? Kimberly says her team is really Nuts and Bolts: Josh and Bert are Nuts, Becky is a borderline Nut, and Kimberly and Laura are the Bolts that keep it together. Heh. Team Chaos is working outside the box, with people making things they don’t always make. Anthony Ryan seems to be making ink blot patterns with paint? He knows it might turn out like a cow. Kimberly is not using any of the prints in her outfit because she doesn’t like any of them, and she doesn’t have to. Laura asks Anya to come eat with her, so she can gossip about how Becky sucks. Becky actually comes in to where they’re eating, and Laura says, “Hey Becky, I think such a plain skirt with numbers reads ‘math teacher’”. Laura, have the balls to look her in the eye when you tell her she sucks. Anya tries to make a suggestion, but Becky knows Laura is already trying to throw her under the bus, or she wouldn’t be talking about it to Anya instead of coming to Becky. Becky stands up for herself and says that Josh blew the team up so they have to put it back together now. Anya quickly leaves.

Tim time! Team Chaos seems to have it together. It’s cohesive and Tim can tell they all get along. Laura has a jumpsuit? In royal blue. Tim is troubled, and Laura pretty much blames it on the rest of the team’s storyline. Tim is troubled by everything. But I will say that Tim doesn’t like the scale of the number print, and I believe that is all Laura. Seriously, we spend at least twice as much time on Team Dysfunction. Josh has designed a jacket and failed to come up with anything to put under the jacket. Tim asks them where their client is going, and Josh has the balls to say “I really don’t like this idea that things have to be going somewhere.” That is Josh for “I have no idea”. Tim informs them they need to let their egos go, because this is not a collection and they are failing. He makes them join hands in a circle and promise to communicate and be honest with each other. That is hilarious.

Josh’s bad critique has upset him so much, all he can do is sit there and be upset. It actually puts him in tears in confessional. Also it makes him freak out about missing his family and how he hopes one day it will be worth it. He calls his dad, which is cute. I’m sorry but you can’t edit him to be a giant asshole and then throw in that he couldn’t go home to see his dying mother one last time. You have to pick one. Because I still view him as an asshole but now I feel bad because I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. You can’t make him the villain and then be so heavy handed about trying to redeem him.

Model fitting. Josh claims to not be that person who is an asshat to people. He praises Bert’s outfit. Fitting seems to go well, and everyone finishes working. Becky says they’re all working together, and things should continue to go well if Josh can control himself. Olivier is taking a long time to finish things, which frustrates Anthony Ryan. Back at the apartments after the day is over, Laura says that Tim’s holding-hands moment was really awesome and now they’re all together. Kimberly and Becky do not look convinced.

In the morning, Laura thinks they’re all supporting each other. Olivier is still not done. Tim gives them 2 hours to finish. Hot makeup guy gets to talk and give suggestions. The crimping iron is used.

Guest judge is…actually there are two. Why are there two guest judges, plus Kors, Nina, and Heidi? Who knows. Rachel Roy and Rose Bryne. Team Nuts and Bolts is up first. Josh: pants in his “graffiti print” which is just a bunch of words written down, a royal blue tank, and a jacket. The jacket is cool, it’s half white and half black, and the two sides meet in kind of a geometric zig zag. The back doesn’t seem sewn up though. Becky: short skirt in the graffiti print, a chartreuse top, and a cropped bolero jacket. The jacket has slits at the elbows. Bert: one shouldered dress that hits below the knee. It looks pretty good, although I’m not sold on the booties. The top has a thin keyhole made by a zipper. Kimberly: a very short skirt with weird jodhpur poofyness at the hips and a chartreuse top with an open back and some thin chains. Laura: royal blue jumpsuit with the graffiti print in a belt. I just don’t like jumpsuits, although this one is OK I guess. It does look like it could be one collection.

Team Chaos. Anya: a short dress with cap sleeves and a boat neck top. The cap sleeves are black, and the print is pretty abstract. It’s almost like snakeskin, and when you get close up, there is more than one print there. The back has a narrow opening to her waist. Bryce: red T-shirt with a low-cut back and shorts in one of the prints. All their prints look very, very similar. They’re all black and white abstract designs. Anthony Ryan: full bell-shaped skirt in white with black squares on one corner, and a sleeveless button down top with a red bow at the neck. Olivier: a fitted jacket with leather lapels and no shirt underneath, and a peplum. It’s awesome. The pants are mostly OK, but cropped for some reason. My guess is no one is looking at the pants. Viktor: long skirt with high slits, in black, and a white bodice with that illusion netting covering her back and along her collarbone. The white has an inkblot design on it.
Heidi tells Team Chaos they have won. Like anyone thought they would lose. Team N&B has to leave, where they all sit around until Laura feels the need to make everyone talk about their feelings on their team. Kimberly pokes Josh, like, don’t do that. Becky says she thinks he wants her and Bert to go home so he can have fun with everyone else. This is true, of course, so Josh has to get bitchy and say this isn’t about “fun”, this is about “creating a product that people want”. He then says he knows what he wants to deliver to someone, and she doesn’t, so that’s why she should not be there. Well that was rude, but why didn’t you just let him sulk? Seriously.

Team Chaos talks about chaos but also that they didn’t want anything to look overdone. Heidi loves everything. Olivier’s jacket is fantastic. Kors says it’s one of the best tailored pieces they’ve ever seen. Viktor’s gown is chic, but Bryce’s shorts and shirt don’t go. Rose would wear everything. They like the little pops of color. Nina’s only criticism is that she wants more polished makeup and hair. Heidi asks who should win, but no one wants to say “Me, I should win” and no one wants to give the win to someone else. Heidi makes all of them say who should win, and as Olivier is brave enough to say “me, I should win” they all do the same. Except Bryce, who says Anya. Well his outfit seemed to be the only one to get criticism, so he must know he’s not winning.

Team Nuts and Bolts. Heidi says the collection is too busy. Kors complains that the prints are too literal. No one is wearing a clock, Kors. Rachel gets superior and says they should have thought of memories and their children, instead of writing “cancelled” and “delayed” and whatever. Plus the stupid “let’s make a video of a girl with fun shoes” does not go over well. Kors does say that overall, they have a more cohesive look to their models. Nina says there are missed opportunities here. She asks if everyone was happy, and Becky volunteers that they had a third print, the numbers print, but no one liked it. Kors calls Laura out on avoiding the prints, and she says she made the belt, and Kors says “So you didn’t have to have a belt that’s ugly”. Ouch. He also thinks Kimberly’s lack of any print is her way to save herself. She denies it, but we know that’s what she was thinking. “Not a lot of women want to have “cancelled” on their crotch”. Heh. Becky laughs, embarrassed, because it’s her skirt, and that is funny, but Josh is stonefaced. Sadly without the print her outfit is boring. They love that Bert’s dress is well-cut, but the length is bad. Heidi asks how they worked together, and Bert says they had a fight but Josh did apologize. Heidi calls Josh out on being an asshat, and fighting with Becky last time. Josh tries to pretend he has no idea what happened. Who should go home? Becky throws Josh under the bus. Nina points out that Josh wasn’t the leader, so they should all have spoken up. Bert says when that happened Josh left the room, and when he came back they just said whatever and moved on. Josh defends himself by saying that he has three pieces that are impeccable and that he “basically led the detailing” and that if the show is about design, then he did his part. Nina just says that all the prints are horrible. Bert agrees that Josh should go home, Laura says Bert because of some comments, I don’t understand what she says. Josh throws Becky under the bus because he doesn’t see any design in the outfit. Becky speaks up and says she made the skirt three times, and the top twice, and people just said it “didn’t look right” and wouldn’t give her feedback. Josh says she has no foundation and could have pushed her design. Kimberly says Becky has a simpler style but that is just a difference in aesthetics maybe.

Kors loved Olivier’s jacket, as did Rachel. Viktor’s dress was interesting but wearable. Anya has a great eye for prints. And everyone got along. Kors is bored by Becky, and Nina says there is no design there. Josh’s outfit had a lot going on, and Heidi mentions taste level. Nina gets indignant and says that it’s a print challenge, and his print was the most horrible. Kors knows he’s a bully. Bert also has an attitude problem, but his dress would probably be OK if it wasn’t in that print.

Anya wins. Huh? She beat out Olivier’s jacket? Stupid. I’m pretty much done. Laura is in. Kimberly is in. Bert is in. Oh, like they’d get rid of Josh before Becky. That means that little asshat has a collection to show tomorrow. Dammit. Becky doesn’t think she should go home, and thinks maybe she’s too commercial. She knows that there will always be someone better than her. She wishes everyone the best. Aww. She says she needs a vacation. Hee.

Next time: you will design for women using the suggestions of the husband/boyfriend of said woman. Interesting. Tim and Olivier have no personal experience with bra sizes. Obviously.

No comments: