Project Runway 9/15/11--"What Women Want" summary

Previously on Project Runway: the producers decided they were more interested in drama then actual design and made a good challenge, the “create your own textile” challenge, into yet another team challenge. It just allows loud drama queens to take over and irritate everyone. Even when they apologize. I’m sorry Josh couldn’t visit his mother when she was sick, and I’m sorry he is still affected by that, but he is being an ass and that is not an excuse. Also you can’t put in every interview, sound bite, and clip of his being an ass and then throw in “I couldn’t say goodbye to my mom when she died” and expect everyone to suddenly like the guy. Anyway, in the end, Anya won, even though all the textiles were black and white and her dress was cute but not earth-shattering. Becky went home, and seemed to be OK with it. Because when it comes down to the loud drama queen who insisted on designing horrid prints that ruined most of the looks on his team, versus the woman who designs boring clothes but sews them very well, then obviously you get rid of the boring person. (click for more)

Bryce says he’s the only one left who hasn’t won. He wants to prove everyone wrong. Josh has exhausted himself emotionally, but he says he’s in a better place today. I’m sure Bert will be glad to hear it. Anya thinks they’re all friends now. Bert writes on their chalkboard that it’s raining men. I wish.

Today they have “not their usual models”. A bunch of men walk in, and everyone flips out because of course no one does menswear. Josh brags that he does menswear, but then CLAIMS that he is worried about the size of the men, because a larger person takes up more fabric, and that costs more money. PLEASE. You don’t want to design for fat people. Just say it, everyone else does. But don’t try out this BS about money. Anya has immunity, and she is so relieved. Everyone picks out the man they want. Anya of course picks the hottest one. The skinnier ones go first, as always happens. Olivier says that all that’s left is “old fat people. And that is fine, but not when I’m making clothes.” Sigh. You know what, though? I am willing to bet no one will care. If it had been women up there, everyone would jump all over it and how dare he say that and everyone is beautiful and what an ass and whatever. Say men are old and fat and your response is a shrug and a “Yeah…guess they are.” That’s BS too. Heidi sends them to Tim.

Tim tells them that “while it’s true they are your clients…(Bert: “Uh oh.”) you are not creating a menswear look for them.” They’re making a look for the significant others. Everyone cheers. The men will give directions to the designers. Laura prays for a golddigger. Tim promises them that they have asked the women themselves for sizes and measurements, since the boys can’t be expected to remember that kind of thing. True, it is confusing. The women will walk the runway. Also, a two day challenge!

30 minutes to consult. Lots of shots of men who have no idea about anything the designers ask them. Well, at least Bert’s guy knows he wants her boobs displayed. Oh, Josh’s guy wants simple and tasteful. Ha! Bryce is asked for “cutesy? But elegant? But girly? If you could like, mash all those together”. And that she wears pink. Anthony Ryan’s guy has a dress in mind, which was her favorite dress and he apparently lost the dress at some point. Aww. Olivier doesn’t like women having boobs. Because they get in the way. His model has curves and he is irritated.

Shopping. The guys come shopping too. Awesome. Some guys are helpful but not all. Olivier asks Tim what he knows about DD boobs. Hee. He doesn’t know what cup sizes mean. Tim says it’s a bra size but he doesn’t have any personal experience with boobs. Love it.

The women are coming in later for a fitting. The guys are staying? Are they going to help? Huh? Everyone puts tape on the dummies. Bert’s guy says the mannequin doesn’t a have a big enough chest. Then he demonstrates how he motorboats his wife sometimes. OK, that was funny. Olivier continues to freak out. Josh tells his guy to get his wife drunk before she shows up. Someone jokes about the fabric cutter. The women show up. Laura dresses Barbie-type women, are you surprised? But that consult goes well. Anya has given herself a challenge again. Viktor’s girl comes in wearing pretty much what he’s designing. Josh for some reason has metal squares, which no one likes, so he has to put them away. “When Josh said ‘simple’, I didn’t realize it was like, SIMPLE”. He doesn’t know how to design simple. The other consult that isn’t going that well is Olivier’s, because she doesn’t like the fabric he picked out. Also his girl is the one client with ideas who is telling her designer what to do. Olivier is sticking to his guns.

Bryce misses his boyfriend, and it’s hard for him to work with this couple that really loves each other. Anthony Ryan says everyone feels bad for Bryce, who feels down, but he can’t make mistakes anymore. Also they were much nicer about it than when they were saying stuff about Becky.

Day two. Are Anya and Laura sharing a bed? Bryce has hot pink, and wonders aloud if he should make the whole dress out of pink. Who knows? The couples show up again, for some reason. Bryce asks if he can maybe not use all hot pink in the dress. Permission granted! Olivier is still arguing with his client, who sort of is listening.

Tim time! Viktor is pretty much done, and it is very cute. Tim loves it. Anya has one shoulder and arm, and she cut something wrong, and Tim is slightly concerned but doesn’t say so. Tim asks Bert’s client if she’s OK with how deep the dress cuts in front. He turns to the husband and says, “I won’t ask you, you know.” and then he rolls his eyes. Hee! She says she’s OK though. Olivier’s colors are deemed “crayon-y”. Tim tells Laura’s client she’s gone Barbie with her shoe, but this makes her excited instead of concerned. He just stands there and stares at Kimberly’s outfit. Anthony Ryan is doing a good job. Josh has a simple dress for once, and Tim is so impressed, he tells the clients that Josh usually is just shy of a float in a parade. Hee. Josh shares how he talked her out of wearing a bra, and how she doesn‘t need one, and Tim agrees. Tim says “It, it would be different…if you weren’t…firm.” Ha! Bryce’s pink looks good on the girl but it’s very neon.

Bryce scraps his dress with the gray side panels and plans a completely pink dress. Olivier continues to freak out. Day of challenge, there is still a ton of flailing going on. Olivier’s client says the pants are riding up. You can’t see it, but she can feel it I guess. He doesn’t like all this talking back. He explains to his client that he would love to make something she’d love, but it’s a competition first. Hot makeup guy is all over the place. Not like, flailing, just that he gets to talk a lot today. Olivier forgets to take his client to hair and makeup and Tim has to come get him. Laura has been talking smack about pretty much everyone, but none of it is interesting or funny. Tim tells everyone that all the women are going to get free jewelry from Piperlime. Olivier has to find his client to put the outfit on her. OK, that is justified. You can’t go off to the lounge and hide this close to time. Tim collects everyone and says, “Today, I am playing the role of a large and stinging mallet.” I mean…that makes absolutely no sense but I’m pretty sure that’s what he said. Tim collects everyone, and puts them in the hallway. He has to tell Kimberly and Olivier they must stop sewing.

A commercial for “Project Accessory”. How are you going to compare, say, a necklace to a pair of shoes? Because you can’t really ask jewelry designers to make purses.

Guest judge is Malin Akerman, actress. Laura: long green dress with a sweetheart neckline and a swag of fabric across one arm. And a weird handkerchief hem. Anthony Ryan: red skirt with a white belt, and a black v-neck with red trim. It’s very simple and cute. Bert: simple dress with a deep V. it’s in a black and gray print, and the skirt fits weirdly. It’s short and too tight, I think. Josh: black dress with a full skirt and a high neckline. And a plunging back, and bright blue shoes. Bryce: hot pink sheath dress with low pockets. There is no back, just some straps. It looks really wrinkled, though. Kimberly: short black skirt, and a raspberry one-shouldered top with lots of ruffles. It’s not bad. Although, girl has a booty and the skirt is tight. Olivier: black pants and a one-shouldered top in beige. It is well tailored but the pants are pretty boring. Anya: long dress in a mottled black and white print. It’s supposed to be a “kimono wrap dress”, but really it’s one shoulder and sleeve, and the other arm bare, then a wide belt, then the opposite side of the skirt is long. The whole thing is trimmed in a sheer fabric. Viktor: full skirt in gray with a wide mustard stripe, and a navy blue short-sleeved top. The top has a sweetheart neckline and then is sheer.

Kimberly, Olivier, and Laura are safe. Anya, Josh, and Victor are the top. For some reason they’re doing this in two stages, so everyone else has to leave. Anya thinks this woman could wear this outfit to an opening or something. It’s memorable, and unique. Heidi likes the weird mullet hem. Nina hates the sleeve. And Malin says she would wear it, and keep the sleeve. Josh explains how he was so good at restraining himself. Heidi tells him to remember this. They love how simple it is, and elegant. Kors loves the bright shoes. Viktor’s outfit is fantastic. There’s a big colorful necklace, though, and I wish it wasn’t obscuring the top. This really is a cute outfit. Viktor also listened when his client suggested short sleeves. Kors makes noise about listening to your customer, and I call shenanigans, because every other time they say “don’t listen to your clients, you are the designer”.

Olivier claims to not have been freaking out. Bert says his client picked out her sketch out of his page of sketches. His client likes the dress. Heidi complements her boobs, and the dress is made wonderfully, but it’s too boring. Kors says it’s safe, but you could buy it anywhere. Nina says it’s tight, short, and shiny. “Just a couple inches longer!” “….no” Then Heidi pipes up “I have that problem too”. Oh honey, we know. Bryce wanted pink, or was told pink. Nina says there are too many details: pockets, open back with straps, belt, weird band at the hem of the skirt. The pockets are huge. Malin likes the pockets but it doesn’t fit perfectly. Kors says something about buffets? And the seams are all wonky. Anthony Ryan starts talking retro and vintage. They talk about how it’s her favorite dress. Heidi says it’s either very little girl, or very old lady. No it doesn’t. It’s retro, but it’s not that horrible. Nina doesn’t like the wide belt, and Anthony Ryan says it’s hiding a print he didn’t like. Kors says “ice skating superhero”. Whatever. He likes quirky, but he though Anthony Ryan should have gone for it then. Heidi accuses him of being safe and boring, although he argues that point briefly.

Bert’s client looked great, but they are bored with him. Really bored. Bryce sort of saved his dress with the color, but the dress didn’t fit properly and the pockets were huge. Many descriptions are thrown around for Anthony Ryan’s dress. None of them are pleasant. Josh did a good job editing himself. Yeah, but are we comparing him to himself? No, he must be compared to everyone else. In general they really love the dress. Anya’s dress didn’t need the sleeve, but it was the most Fashion. Viktor’s color combination was wonderful. But she was a little over accessorized.

Heidi says they had a hard time picking a winner. Anya is in. Josh wins. Eh. He makes everyone feel him up to see how hard his heart is pounding. Viktor is in. Bert is in, but not before he gets yelled at to step it up. Bryce is out. Huh. Well we should have seen it coming, with all the time they spent on how everyone was worried about him and so forth. Tim demands a hug before he leaves. He thought he was ready, and he still thinks he can do it. “I’m going to lock myself in my room, and listen to as much Lady Gaga as I can, and I’m going to just sketch and sketch and sketch until I have a genius collection.”

Next week: MORE TEAMS. Some random band. Menswear. And I think I just saw Adam Lambert. That might make up for having teams again.