Previously on “Top Chef”: the Quickfire involved mussels, which wasn't that bad actually, but it was time for Tom and Gail to appear and start tasting Quickfires and “factor” the Quickfires into Elimination performance. Which just means that if you do well at the Quickfire you have immunity. Case in point, the Elimination challenge. There was a very dumb tie-in to the new Mission: Impossible movie, and some stunts, and making a dish with “a stunt”. It ended up just like the “chaos” challenge where the challenge is so poorly defined that no one follows it. Massimo won because he made salmon en croute and you can't look at it before you serve it? But a risk is not a stunt? Whatever, then Cesar went home for weird flavors. But Lana won the Quickfire and she was in the bottom, but immediately safe. And Vinny froze his tartare into a solid block, which no one could eat, but he was in the top for the Quickfire so he survived. (click for more)
In Last Chance Kitchen, Katianna and Cesar had three battles to see who would return, and they didn't even bother to be dramatic about it when Cesar won two out of three: “make one of the peanut gallery cook for you” and “cook something good”. What did Katianna win? “Blind tasting”. I see you Tom.
Vinny interviews that he's trying to not be “the Nomad guy” but it's hard. He's figuring it out but it's taking a minute. Tristen encourages him to keep on cooking with a narrative, as he does. He has to have a story. Massimo says he never has a story, he just thinks about what is the best thing I can make with what's in front of me and how do I want to eat it. Tristen says they all do that but there must be more than that. In confessional Tristen thinks Massimo is his biggest motivator, and also his antithesis. “He represents everything I'm cooking against.” Both Tristen and Lana insist that Massimo must have a narrative. Tristen wants to beat him very badly. Vinny encourages everyone to woo and apparently Shuai is “the woo girl”.
In the morning, when they come into the kitchen there is...a bodega. I can't figure out immediately how they did it, but there's a convenience store in the kitchen, complete with newspaper vending machines out front. The big sign says “Depanneur” and it's even half dark like one of the lights is out. I think maybe they built it over the pantry. Inside there's like, an ATM and refrigerated case and stuff. Tom jokes they rearranged the furniture. Kristen says they won't be the top six for very long, because I think she enjoys fucking with them. Anyway, Cesar is back. This dramatic slo-mo perp walk is pointless since I knew from last week. Everyone's happy to see him though. That is officially the end of Last Chance Kitchen. After today is the semi-finals, because they are finally leaving Toronto to go to Calgary. I mean you might as well have called it Top Chef: Toronto.
The guest judge for today is Punkie Johnson, who is a comedian. Oh, she's a fan. They talk about bodegas, because this is a “dep” which is like a bodega. Since this is a Montreal thing, everything is in French. Oh except the Saratoga Spring Water. Cue a montage of people talking about how they don't know any French, except for Massimo. Listen I don't know French either, but surely you know enough words for food that you can get by. Right? Also because Punkie likes to cook on tours and she only has like, plastic cutlery and an air fryer, no real knives and no grill. Just air fryers and instapots. Lana says she can tear things like a raccoon. Winner gets $10,000.
30 minutes to both shop and cook. Shuai is ready to have fun. There's mostly junk food and meats, but not a lot of vegetables. Lana is reduced to tasting things to figure out what she grabbed. Oh but she got a bag of milk and the waffle maker. Lots of plastic knives, which means opening plastic packaging is hard. Vinny is punching out circles of bread with a lid so he can make pate en croute. Like an Uncrustable. Bailey is trying to cut legit sourdough bread with a plastic knife. She's worried about how this will be aired on national television, and the producers put up a chyron about how this show airs in over 140 countries. Cesar says he used to eat a lot of popcorn when he was broke. Shuai grates Parmesan with a fork. Massimo melts cheese curds in hot water from an electric kettle to make mozzarella. OK that's impressive. This challenge feels like the spiritual sequel to the gas station challenge, or the infamous vending machine challenge. Tristen calls his soup a “hot garbage plate”. Massimo mixes “all the American baseball hot dog condiments”. I don't know. Bailey is flailing.
Cesar: cheddar and goat cheese popcorn grits with apple, bacon, and celery leaf condiment. Tristen: bacon roasted hot dogs in yaka mein broth with celery, sauerkraut, peanuts, and croissant croutons. Yaka mein is a beef noodle soup with Cajun seasonings. Lana: savory ham and cheese waffle with harissa syrup and celery salad. This “celery salad” is four or five celery leaves sitting on top of the waffle. Massimo: hybrid of mozzarella in carrozza and saucisson brioche with all dressed sauce. The first part is like, a fried cheese sandwich, and the saucisson is a type of sausage. All-dressed potato chips are a Canadian thing and are apparently BBQ, sour cream and onion, salt and vinegar, and ketchup, all mixed together. So I think that was whatever sauce he was making with all the hot dog condiments. Shuai: croque monsieur with ham, cheese, and curds. Vinny: pate en croute crustless sandwich with ham, goat cheese, and pickles. It looks like an Uncrustable. Bailey: raisin prune mostarda toastie with foie pate, apple, crushed candied peanuts, and celery leaf. Mostarda is candied fruits in mustard syrup.
Gail says there was a lot of creativity today. Massimo basically made pigs in a blanket but called it a bunch of French words. Heh. But it was good. Cesar made grits out of popcorn and Tom is impressed. Shuai made a solid croque monsieur. The winner is Cesar. Everyone else is in the bottom. Bailey overtoasted her dish and it was very dense. Vinny had a weird texture in his sandwich. Lana had dry waffles and no one tasted ham or cheese. Tristen really needed a blender to make it work.
Kristen brings out some more Montreal chefs that Massimo knows already. There are a lot of urban farms on rooftops in Montreal. For the Elimination challenge, the chefs will make a dish using ingredients from those rooftop gardens. Also because this is about sustainability, you can only use things that are “left over” in the pantry. I'm not sure how they are defining “left over”. Already opened? Whatever you find in there that I'm sure someone has carefully curated? Kristen says since this is their last challenge in Toronto, after today they're donating everything left in the pantry. That's cool actually. Oh and also you must “transport” all of us into “one of Montreal's four seasons.” One of the guest judges says “Best season in Montreal is the one where you go to Florida.” Ha! Cesar gets to pick first, and then no one else can pick that season. He takes summer, because duh, and he's got his own rooftop garden back home. Everyone else gets “random” draw with the knife block. Massimo and Shuai get winter, Lana and Bailey get fall, and Vinny and Tristen get spring. Two hours to cook tomorrow. Vinny is worried because he knows he was saved last challenge because he did well in the Quickfire. And he did poorly today.
Back at the apartments Vinny makes an Uncrustable for some reason. Lana and Bailey sit outside and talk about how cool it would be if they were in the finale. Bailey says they should make sure they watch each other's backs, which I think is maybe too far. You have to let other people fail, you know? No, I know no one on this show ever thinks that way. Shuai opens a greeting card that his wife hid in his luggage. You just found that? Come on. She writes about opening their food truck and a leap of faith. He says he's been overthinking it and he needs to take his head out of his ass.
It looks like there is plenty of stuff in the pantry. I guess it just meant “We're not going to Whole Foods.” Lana loves fall vibes, while Vinny is still confused. He's making dried morels. Shuai is making hot pot, that's what he ate in winter a lot when he was little. With plenty of winter root vegetables and mushrooms. Massimo is doing chicken cooked in broth with chicken mousse under the skin. Tristen puts some cabbage on the flattop to sear and makes potatoes and some flaked fish to roll into the cabbage. Vinny has a bunch of Asian flavors because he went to China in the spring when he was 20. Sure. Cesar makes gazpacho for summer, which fits pretty well. Corn and lobster. Lana roasts a bunch of squash to make spaetzle. Bailey also has squash but she's making agrodolce and polenta. Just like Vinny, she's worried about doing poorly in the Quickfire. Now Massimo also has a salt crust? He's never done one before, and he made a rule for himself that he would never try to do something he's never done before, while he's on Top Chef. He's done a salt crust but with vegetables, never with a protein. Tristen and Vinny shuck peas and joke that they should have people for this. Shuai cuts circles out of collard greens, blanches them, then puts mashed sweet potatoes and tries to tie them shut with I think blanched green onions.
The judges come in and sit in the middle of the kitchen. Vinny is putting lamb in dumplings and then the rest of the scraps into the broth. Cesar gets out the smoke machine. Massimo takes out his salt crust, crosses himself, and then opens it to find the chicken is perfect. Of course. He takes the cabbage out of the chicken to put it on the grill. Shuai has made a vegetarian dish. I'm not sure why but I wonder if the hot pot he ate as a kid didn't have meat because they couldn't afford it. Massimo has the shakes.
Massimo: salt crust chicken with chicken farce and cream sauce. He calls it some French name but that's what the chyron says. Shuai: “Last Bowl of Hot Pot” with squash, sweet potato dumplings, fried enoki mushrooms, and mushroom dashi. Shuai's broth is delicious and the squash is both crunchy and soft. There is a lot going on but it all worked. Massimo was also successful. But of course since we put in that conversation he had with Tristen at the top of the episode, one of the judges thinks Massimo's dish, while technically fine, is lacking something to make it “comforting”. Because he said he doesn't have narratives.
Vinny is rushing because some of his dumplings have stuck to the paper in the steamer. When the timer goes off, he hasn't garnished every plate. So then they go back to the table, and while the table had been decorated in white with fur throws on the chairs, now there is a big bouquet of flowers and different place settings. OK calm down. Also calm down with playing Vivaldi's Four Seasons, because I'm not going back to check if you played the “Winter” section last round. Tristen: roasted and charred caraflex cabbage with spring potatoes, smoked lake fish, and roasted cabbage puree. Vinny: lamb dumplings with morel mushroom consomme, enoki mushrooms, and English peas. Someone asks Tristen if he knew the smoked fish was a salted smoked fish, and Tristen says he tried not to put too much in. Once he leaves, the judges discuss how Tristen's sauce is very salty but the potatoes don't have salt. I feel like Tristen specifically said he didn't salt the potatoes to preserve flavor or something. Punkie says she did what probably all of us would do, which is just to make sure to put sauce on the potatoes. Vinny's dish was pretty but of course not everyone got all the garnish. The consomme is “aggressive” and Gail thinks it was too much. It takes until now for some of the judges to realize not everyone got radishes on Vinny's plate.
Bailey wants her agrodolce to be very strong. Cesar has lots of bright colors. We've changed the table again and I'm pretty this music is some generic Bravo commercial bumper music. Cesar: corn gazpacho, smoked cherry tomatoes filled with pistachio cream, and poached lobster. Gail says the corn should be sweeter, and I do remember him saying the corn was sweet and he didn't add anything to it. Kristen says the smoked tomatoes save the dish because they taste like something. It's a good dish, but Tom is bored and pissy about it.
Bailey claims she's getting more clear-headed the longer she is here. She and Lana say “cute” a bunch of times. Bailey: squash agrodolce, crispy polenta, smoked labneh, and Brussels sprouts. Lana: butternut squash spaetzle, sauteed kielbasa, and sauerkraut juice compressed apples. Bailey's agrodolce is indeed very strong, but Tom of course likes it because Tom. I guess. To be fair, it is strong but the labneh calms it down and the spices counter the richness of the squash. Kristen does point out that it feels like a condiment and not a complete dish. Lana did get fall, and it's heavy, but the flavors are good. She made her spaetzle small and so everything was kind of the same size. She had said she was going to treat it like a risotto but that seems to have backfired. Monotonous. One of the guest judges asks “are we eliminating someone today?” and then when Gail is like “duh” he goes “Oh shit”. Heh.
In the Stew Room everyone sits around and overthinks what they did. Except Shuai, he says he's confident because of the note from his wife.
Judges' Table. Massimo, Shuai, and Bailey are the top three. Massimo cooked his chicken perfectly and balanced all of the components. Shuai was motivated, and Tom says it felt like he was finally having fun. Shuai said he finally felt like himself. One of the guest judges said he'd remember the squash for the rest of his life. Wow. Bailey is like “I had fun today”, like “Teacher I also did my homework”. The squash was intense but the labneh cooled things off, and the polenta wasn't greasy. You will notice that when Bailey gets praise that instead of saying “Thank you” she says “Cool”. The winner is Shuai. You could tell because no one had anything negative to say. He says it's his first solo win in an Elimination challenge. He gets an advantage for the next Elimination challenge.
All four of the bottom chefs have to come forward. No middle ground today. Tristen wanted more vegetables than fish. The potatoes were bland and the sauce was too salty. Tristen said he tasted it together so he didn't notice. There was too much going on, too many sauces and an oil. Lana tells the judges she did cut the garnishes to the same size as the spaetzle on purpose, so they could get a bite of everything. Because they were all the same size then you couldn't tell anything apart. Tom says it's a fall dish, but the spaetzle were too soft and they were supposed to be the centerpiece. Vinny admits he fucked up the timing and left radishes off plates. The consomme was very strong and overtook the other flavors. Tom says he still doesn't know who Vinny is as a chef, because anyone could make this dish. Oof. Cesar claims the corn was sweet when he tasted it. Then they ask him about the peppers, and then suddenly they're asking about why there was pistachio in the tomatoes. It feels very jumpy. None of the summer ingredients shone at all. Then Kristen says that because he won the Quickfire, and he didn't have a bad dish (although they've been shitting on it for five minutes), that Cesar is safe.
Tom says that while people didn't match the seasons they were given, that's maybe because they had execution problems. Lana's dish was one note, even though there was a bunch of stuff in there. But it made the most sense for her season, and Kristen says that to her, Lana is fine. Gail would eat it again. Vinny's wasn't very springtime, mostly because the consomme was too heavy and overpowering. Tristen had seasoning issues and the sauce was rich. Both Tristen and Vinny screwed up the Quickfire.
Tom says this is the point in the competition where you get exhausted and someone didn't make it. Vinny is out, which tracks. Do you think they would get rid of Tristen? No, even though they like to claim they only take this episode into consideration, you know they are thinking about the great food they've gotten from Tristen and the mid food from Vinny. Tom even said, I don't know who Vinny is as a chef. Vinny knows he showed people who he was, but not the food he makes. But he knows his dish wasn't good enough to stay.
Next week: Calgary, wagons, breakfast, big cuts of beef.
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