Previously
on “Top Chef”: the Quickfire involved cooking a dessert in the
hotel that inspired “The Shining”. Also it was supposed to be
about a fear of theirs. Or a nightmare they have. Something like
that. Bruce claimed to be afraid of seeds. Chris won for making
mountains and a little man impaled on trees. For the Elimination
challenge, since it's the last episode before the finals everyone had
to do the “show us what you've learned this season” thing.
Hipster Joe won, by making pasta, actually. Bruce decided not to
make pasta, or polenta, but barley risotto, which he then
undercooked. So Bruce was eliminated. (click for more)
On
Last Chance Kitchen, there were two parts. The first part was where
Bruce reunited with the Bear Den (poor Tyler) and all three of them
had to make porridge. I'll admit, that was funny. Anyway, Bruce was
the loser that time, because Joseph was just a little better. Brother
Luck is on fire. The second part was having to make whatever they
want, but also feed the peanut gallery. The peanut gallery gets a
vote for who goes back into the finale. We of course don't know who
won that one.
Chris
tells us he applied to this show five times and he's very close.
Carrie is cutely excited to show everyone Telluride.
Telluride
is gorgeous. Was there a pause? Any time off? Or did we go straight
to the finale? Carrie tells us she had to get used to the idea that
she deserved to stand with these big names. The final four head for
their nice hotel suite and try to enjoy the view. Chris says his
mental game is the strongest.
The
Cowboy Saloon. Don't know if that's capitalized but whatever. Padma
is there with Tom and Wylie Dufresne. She starts talking about
saloons and gambling or whatever. Make a “gastropub” dish with
sarsaparilla. Sure. They draw knives to pick items off the table:
sweeteners, fruit, protein, vegetables. They go around in circles and
pick things. Chris has ribeye, molasses, potatoes, berries. Carrie:
pork, onions, honey, lemons. Hipster Joe: fish, carrots, limes, maple
syrup. Adrienne: chicken, brown sugar, tomatoes, garlic. Winner gets
$10,000. Tom explains to them all about Last Chance Kitchen, mainly
that everyone has been killing it. Then Joseph rolls in which I
wasn't expecting. I thought Brother Luck would be here. They have 30
minutes, but first Joseph has to steal one ingredient from each
person. He takes pork, carrots, berries, and brown sugar. Now
everyone else only has three items.
30
minutes. They all run outside, where there are stations set up and a
random crowd. Also they were supposed to use sarsaparilla, in case
you forgot. It's similar to root beer. Carrie doesn't have time for
French onion soup, so she's just making the top, bread and cheese and
onions. Chris puts sarsaparilla in his gravy for chicken fried steak.
Hipster Joe is making cold soup because who knows. At least he knows
that his soup better be ice cold or else. Adrienne is worried about
her time and getting her chicken done. Carrie makes her bread really
crunchy, so that once she puts the sauce on it won't get soggy.
Chris:
potato crusted chicken fried steak with sarsaparilla gravy and fennel
salad. Hipster Joe: halibut crudo with sarsaparilla fennel soup.
Joseph: pork porterhouse with sarsaparilla pickled carrots and
sarsaparilla berry sauce. Carrie: “The best part of French onion
soup”: with sarsaparilla deglazed onions and beef stock. The Joes
whisper about how she's made fancy toast again. Adrienne:
sarsaparilla glazed chicken with crispy sarsaparilla chicken skin and
garlic tomato compote.
Adrienne's
chicken was juicy but didn't taste much like sarsaparilla, and
neither did Joseph's dish. Chris's gravy was nicely flavored, Hipster
Joe kept his soup cold, and Carrie succeeded with her dish. The
winner is Carrie, of course because the Joes were whining about it.
Padma
makes a joke about feeling high. For the Elimination challenge, they
must make a “high concept”, high-end dish to serve in the highest
restaurant in North America. I have no idea what “high concept”
means, except that I'm sure it's like saying “avant garde” on
“Project Runway”. Which is to say, everyone says it but no one
actually explains it and then they don't actually do it. Anyway, this
restaurant is at 12,000 feet so it is time for some high altitude
cooking weirdness. You must have a baked element on your plate. She
releases them to go home and experiment. That's cool, actually. Let
them figure some things out.
In
the car everyone tries to brainstorm, but mostly the Joes and
Adrienne worry that Chris and Carrie will win easily because they do
baking already. The hotel is at 8,750 feet. Carrie does have some
tricks because she lives here already and has baked at altitude.
Hipster Joe wants to make gougeres, which are savory cream puffs. He
has maybe never made them before. Chris plans cornbread, which
doesn't rise as much so maybe that's a good idea? Adrienne plans some
champagne and lobster and some kind of bread she's testing out.
Tom
Time! And guest judge Paul Liebrandt, and Wylie. Paul has cooked at
18,000 feet, so maybe he has some tips. Hipster Joe tells them about
his gougeres, and the judges ask him leading questions about what
he's changing with the recipe. At first he just says he changed the
baking time, but they're like, “...and...?” so he adds
temperature, and then gives up. Paul says to put more egg whites in
the recipe than he would normally, because that'll add structure.
Adrienne has some of her bread ready, and they tell her it should be
fine, but don't forget when you arrive for the challenge itself
you'll be another 3,000 feet up. The bread will dry out as it sits.
Joseph used to work for Art Smith, and I guess his job was to make
the biscuits. He admits he got his ass kicked and it's kind of
endearing to hear a chef on the show say “yeah, I used to suck at
this”. They joke with him about cornbread, then head over to Chris
who feeds them cornbread. He's frying his quail, which will also take
longer to cook up there. Carrie for some reason wants to make beef
Wellington. But open? I'm not sure what she's trying to describe, but
it sounds like the guest judge tells her to go for it. But if it
doesn't work she's making cornbread. They keep cutting to Chris
looking exasperated. Carrie's little tart shells or whatever she's
trying to do aren't cooking. Was it deconstructed beef Wellington?
She worries about going home.
The
next day, everyone crams into a gondola and rides up the mountain.
Carrie has realized her foolishness so she's going to make cornbread
towers or something. We'll see when everyone gets up there. I do see
some running happening, which makes me nervous. I'm not really
interested in watching people pass out. Joseph makes little quinelles
of biscuit dough, then puts them in the oven and crosses himself.
Hee. Mostly everyone talks about how they hope this works, and
temperatures. Chris and Adrienne talk about elevating Southern
cuisine, and how it's the only “true” American cuisine. I guess?
But people respect Southern food, don't they? Or is it just that I
live close enough to the South that I get hipster fried chicken and
Southern food? Hipster Joe appears to be cooking duck breast in a pan
on a hot plate. Chris's cornbread isn't baking, and I'm not sure if
he just assumed it would take the same amount of time as it did at
the hotel, or if he added extra time and it wasn't enough. Of course
after commercial it's perfect and there are no problems.
The
judges are eating outside on the balcony. I can't imagine it's warm,
because at that altitude even in the sun it can't be warm. But here's
Gail in a one shouldered sleeveless dress. Poor Gail. Joseph hasn't
made Southern food in a while, but he seems pleased with himself. He
interviews that he thinks Art would be proud of this dish. “But
he'd probably still yell at me.” Hee. Joseph: buttermilk braised
pork loin with pea sorrel puree, pepper jam and goat cheese
buttermilk drop biscuit. The biscuits are crumbled over everything, I
guess? But they actually like the flavors and the fact that he had a
lot of textures going on. Good balance of flavors too.
Carrie
rambles about how she's not fine dining, but they do chef's tasting
menus, so it's kind of fine dining, but not stuffy fine dining.
Carrie: wagyu ribeye with foie gras, spring vegetables and honey
cornbread. She kisses up to Paul about not making beef Wellington for
“the most famous English chef ever”. OK that is patently not a
true statement. Come on, Carrie. The cornbread doesn't go with the
rest of the dish, but the other stuff is cooked well. It's just not a
cohesive whole.
Hipster
Joe adds kombucha to his dish because he is living up to the nickname
I gave him. I knew it. Hipster Joe: roasted duck with spring peas,
cherry jam and kombucha cherry puffs. He's not calling them
“gougeres” or “profiteroles” because he's not sure exactly
what those definitions are. I feel like the editing wants me to roll
my eyes and condemn him for plotting, or for not knowing things he
should know, or something. I get the feeling I'm supposed to hear
that and be irritated. But you know what? How many times have we seen
someone on this show label their dish with a name and then get in
trouble because the judges have secret requirements and they didn't
do it? Like “coq au vin” has to have red wine flavor or whatever.
So calling them “puffs” avoids that whole problem. Sadly, though,
they didn't turn out that well. The duck is perfect though.
Adrienne
makes vinegar caviar pearls. She's made a whole loaf of bread that
looks pretty good. Adrienne: butter poached lobster with mountain
bread, champagne beurre blanc and caviar. The bread is close to
challah. They really like the balance and that she adapted the bread
to make it work. Tom kind of rolls his eyes about how it's not
exciting, but he admits it's a fine dining dish.
Chris
is frying his quail for maybe two minutes per piece. He mentions how
they told him frying things will take longer, so it's not clear if
this is actually longer. But I know squab is supposed to be medium
rare? I'm not sure how it works for quail. Chris: crispy black pepper
quail with corn pudding, butternut squash, maple and bacon cornbread.
When they ask if it came out like he wanted, Chris replies that he
stands behind it 100%, which is not exactly an answer to that
particular question, if you see what I mean. The dish itself is
amazing, but the quail is overcooked. It sounds like it's the cooking
method that is to blame and not Chris's skills.
Back
in the kitchen (which I guess is now the makeshift Stew Room) Joseph
jokes about not wanting this to be a one night stand. They giggle
about how Paul was there in a black suit with a skinny tie and
sunglasses like some Matrix shit. When they get to Judges' Table
it'll just be him, and he'll lay into them for five hours and then
declare himself Top Chef and kick everyone out. Hee.
Judges'
Table. Tom says it's the best food they've had all season. The top
three are Joseph, Hipster Joe, and Adrienne. Joseph was focused, and
the crumbled biscuit (the “deconstructed” biscuit) was great. I
don't think crumbling things is the same as deconstructing, Gail, but
sure. Hipster Joe cooked his duck perfectly. His puff wasn't perfect,
but the flavors were nice. Adrienne had classic flavors, but they
were comforting. Gail admits the bread was a little dry, but it was
also soaked in butter with lobster on top. The winner is Hipster Joe.
Really? I thought they disliked his puffs too much.
Loser
Gong. Chris says today's dish was his favorite. The corn pudding was
delicious, and the maple bacon cornbread was great, but Gail says
something about refinement. The delicate pieces are lost. What does
that mean, Gail? Are you saying Southern food isn't delicate? Are you
saying frying quail keeps it from being delicate? I don't know.
Carrie rambles about how she had the ribeye, and some foie gras, and
wanted to do spring vegetables. Everything was cooked well and
seasoned well, but it was just a bunch of stuff on a plate. There
wasn't any cohesion or concept for the dish.
This
is high praise for the bottom two dishes, and now they're really
nitpicking. Wylie says for him it comes down to one chef who tried
for fine dining and missed (Chris), vs. one chef who didn't take a
risk at all (Carrie). That said the things Carrie actually did were
well executed. Chris's dish was clunky, but he did try to take a risk
and his dish as a whole made sense.
Tom
talks about challenging yourself but then Chris is eliminated. Why
though. So are we saying execution is more important than creativity?
I mean I guess but eh. I like Carrie but I thought she should go home
for not having a cohesive dish. Being on the show was one of Chris's
goals, and he's proud of making the final five.
Next
week: it is FINALLY time for Rocky Mountain oysters, some kind of
surprise and I'm betting family members, Hipster Joe cries.
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