Project Runway 10/27/16--"Welcome to the Urban Jungle" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the designers had to make cocktail dresses. That's pretty much it. I mean there was a sponsor or whatever, but no one cared or designed their look around the sponsor so, good job. Money well spent. Erin decided she invented sewing beaded appliques on things and got pissed that Jenni dared to sew beaded appliques on her dress. Jenni won, which was too bad because Laurence should have won, but at least Erin was thwarted. Tasha made a boring black denim dress and was eliminated. (click for more)

So we open with everyone already at Universal Orlando Resort, riding a roller coaster and carrying on. Then it says “Eight Hours Earlier” and if you read my blog you know I hate this bullshit with the fire of 10,000 suns. Why. I already know they're going to a theme park. Just open with the announcement and do it normally because if anyone is surprised by how they're in Orlando then they're not paying attention. Anyway, so we rewind to the runway and Heidi making fun of everyone for being tired. She says she warned them this season would have surprises so now it's time for a trip. You can tell everyone thinks they're going to Europe like previous seasons. Mah-Jing knows something's up, though, because of how last episode they said there would be a party and then it was a challenge.

They all meet Tim and some guy from Universal who plugs their new ride “Skull Island: Reign of Kong”. Sigh. Tim gives them a tortured segue about the urban jungle and then says it's a streetwear challenge. They just got rid of their streetwear designer, so I smell shenanigans. I mean, I always suspect judging shenanigans, but this is too much. So the ride is dumb from our perspective, because it seems like it's Pirates of the Caribbean but with 3D glasses. But I don't have 3D glasses so when they show shots of the ride it's just random shit on a screen. Also a dumb ride with dinosaurs and King Kong has nothing to do with streetwear, except there's a female protagonist that is dressed like Indiana Jones so I'm sure everyone will copy her outfit. Back outside Tim and the Universal guy plug whatever new thing they're working on. They can sketch now by the pool and then they're headed back to New York tonight. One day to work. Dexter is going to stand out with cargo shorts and a jacket with puffy shoulders. Erin says something about a green texture. She also eats a banana and I choose to believe it's on purpose to fit the theme and get more screen time. Nathalia sketches a dolman sleeve jacket (that's those sleeves where the sleeve is very wide and attaches at the waist, so it's like wings). Laurence is doing dropped crotch pants. Sigh. At Mood Brik finds the weirdest print. Nathalia...buys fur. Come on, Nathalia. Laurence doesn't think she's a leather designer, but she just can't stay away from the leather. Cornelius gets yellow leather. Someone spends $199.51 out of their $200. Nice.

Brik is making pants, which he hasn't done because he got yelled at for making crappy pants at the beginning of the season. Laurence says Jenni and Dexter are like her little TV. That never turns off. Heh. Nathalia talks about how she loves streetwear and became a designer when she took a “history of costume” class. Cornelius says he likes her now, I guess. Erin is doing embroidery. Literally she has an embroidery hoop. How is that streetwear? Laurence has a jacket with fancy sleeves again. Dexter talks to himself. Jenni makes a whole khaki look. Everyone is making pants because as Laurence says, no one wears skirts in the hood. Only “the hoochie ones”.

Tim Time! Cornelius has denim dropped crotch pants? Tim warns him against “a Broadway version of 'street'”. He also says the judges love yellow and to channel Heidi. Boo. Heidi is not the most fashionable, but I guess she's a judge so whatever. Dexter has a great idea with the cargo pants, but Tim points out it might be too costumey. But if you go home you should go home for something you love. Brik I think bought vinyl, in a print of big stripes and diamonds. He wants to do some cutouts that go with the stripes. It has potential. Roberi has a lizard print. Not edgy enough. Jenni talks about her customers and crop tops. Rik shortens his jacket. Erin is still embroidering. For some reason Tim loves it. Embroidery is not street, plus she has spent all her time on this thing and has no actual clothing. Nathalia's jacket is very heavy, even before she lines it with fur. That is way too literal. Tim just stares at it and then says, “And streetwear's what you do. As a designer.” Damn, Tim, that was cold. It's not streetwear and is stuck in the 19^th century. No more fur and crop the jacket. Mah-Jing has some brown netting and denim. Laurence's jacket looks like if you took Michael Jackson's jacket from “Thriller” and put puffy parka sleeves on it. With less hardware, although she promises Tim she's going to put more details on it.

Laurence is working and not getting sucked into everyone else's dumb nonsense. Brik has a ton of work to do, with cutting up his print. His pants are black and white wavy stripes, and the top is big brown straight stripes with thin white stripes. Erin is still embroidering. Model fitting. Laurence's jacket has the same lined vertical keyhole in the back as her first jumpsuit had. After reading recaps I will never not see that as a vagina. Erin is making her model try on muslin because that's how far behind she is. Brik's pants are dizzying because of the print but they seem to fit fine. Mah-Jing says he's looking around and Laurence is the only one with her shit together. Brik's top has a chevron pattern now, but it clashes with the wavy pants.

Runway Day. Brik now loves his clashing prints. There is the usual frantic working. Not hot makeup guy Scott. Erin's shorts look lumpy. The embroidery is just lumpy. The pants Laurence made are weird, in that they're a little dropped crotch but the fabric is stiff so it's not great.

Jenni has immunity, and that's the last immunity of the season. Guest judges are Rebecca Minkoff (she's on that new Lifetime fashion show) and actress Carly Chaikin. Brik: tight pants with wavy black and white stripes. The top is sleeveless with a high neck and has a chevron pattern, in bronze and black. I like the top a lot, but it doesn't go with the bottom print at all. When they show a close up of the top, it does look kind of sloppy. Rik: black pants and a sleeveless V-neck top. That's about it. I guess there is some seaming? Patches? I seriously cannot tell what is happening with this outfit, but I'm unconcerned because I think he's said all of three sentences today. Nathalia: baggy beige pants and a white crop top. Over this is a coat with dolman sleeves and rounded patch pockets. I'm not sure the coat is street because it looks like brown wool and is very polished. Although the back is so big it looks like a cape. I can't tell if the pants are sloppy looking because they're baggy or because they're sloppy. Laurence: red leather jacket with black cuffs and puffy sleeves. The pants are bad. They are really tight at the ankle and hit the model in a weird spot, like above the ankle, and then instead of looking like a dropped crotch it looks like she's got a diaper on. The top looks like a plain black V-neck. Oh and the vagina on the back of the jacket. Roberi: wide orange shorts that are knee length, with a loose white tank top with an asymmetrical hem. Over all of this is a long fitted vest with a high collar and some weird tabs happening at the hem. The pants are drawstring and I think they would be fine if they were full-length pants and not shorts.

Mah-Jing: fitted dress in gold (with stripes? Ribbed?) that hits far below the knee and has a sweetheart neckline. Over this is a shapeless dark denim jacket. The dress could fit better. Erin: shorts and a top in gray, with black sleeves. The top is a high-necked sleeveless top with black sleeves attached only at the tops of the shoulders. The shorts have the dumb embroidery, which is yellow. The embroidery has lots of loose ends, which I don't know if that's on purpose but it looks unfinished. Dexter: tight shorts and a jacket with huge mutton sleeves, in olive green. There is also a black crop top. It looks very Fashion, you know? The shorts are high waisted and have big cargo pockets where normal pockets would be, not down on the sides where cargo pockets would be. The jacket sleeves are silly but at least they aren't boring. But the shoulders do look like they're another fabric so like he sewed big circles on the shoulders. Cornelius: baggy jeans and a yellow leather crop top. The jeans...are weird. They're baggy, but also ripped, but the rips are lined with darker denim? I'm not sure. Plus the halter top doesn't look like it fits right. It looks too big in the bust. Jenni: crop top with a high crew neck and short sleeves, with matching pants. The pants are high waisted and both these pieces are dark blue with an orange print of thin lines. The neckline and waistband are the same orange. The back of the top looks like she just pinned it to make it fit.

Roberi, Rik, Mah-Jing, and Jenni are safe. Erin talks about combining jungles or whatever. Zac says it looks like she got sick on the ride. They also know she half-assed the whole construction. They ask her what she would have done if she had time, which is dumb because who cares? She didn't do it. Heidi is shocked she spent all day making the stupid embroidery. Bad all around. Dexter wanted a color to bring in the jungle. Nina says it's very strong and she loves all of it. Zac doesn't like it because it's too referential, and Heidi says it's not her taste. Whatever, Heidi. No one likes your taste. It's unique, but it's an avant garde attempt that didn't quite make it. Nina implies that everyone else is stupid for hating it. Nathalia explains her bat inspiration. Heidi loves it for some reason. They pan down and the pant hem looks like she just rolled it under. The pants are drawstring, or at least elastic. I don't know. The jacket is just not street to me.

Brik wanted a 3D look, which I guess is why those pants are dizzying. Nothing goes together and she looks like she got dressed in the dark. They ask his model if she feels beautiful in that, which is rude. Don't ask the models anything unless they're also the clients. Even then you don't ever care about their answer so shut it. The top doesn't fit right in the back. It's clearly a lot of work, but he didn't do any planning and it shows. Laurence talks about her inspiration, and Nina says the jacket is different and has her “signature slice” in the back. Is that what we're calling it? Fine. Nina also claims to be obsessed with the pants. Nina. Come on. Zac does agree the pants have an insane crotch, but then the back is poopy and Zac says it's not poopy! Zac! She has a full diaper on! Heidi is like, pull the pants down some because it looks like she has a penis. Heh. Cornelius's pants are like, baggy jeans with darker patches sewn on. Heidi says it's a school project and he clearly can't work a sewing machine. The top doesn't fit at all. The pants are supposed to be dropped crotch, but for some reason they hate them but not Laurence's. I mean baggy jeans are not great. Nina nails it that the idea of the pants is fine but the execution is not.

Everyone loves Laurence's jacket and they still are praising those damn pants. Sigh. Nathalia somehow did “street style” which I feel like is not the same as “streetwear”. Dexter pushed it but the jacket is borderline silly. Erin is using her embroidery as a crutch, so the rest of the look is unfinished. Heidi tries to convince everyone she's fine. Brik didn't think about his look and it makes no sense. Cornelius made a horrible top and the pants aren't great. Heidi declares the top two Laurence and Nathalia. Sigh, fine. Nathalia has been in the bottom so this is great for her, and they of course worship Laurence. Erin choked, and Heidi asks if maybe the stuff they saw from her at the beginning was the anomaly and this is how she really is. Brik did a lot of work, but had no plan. Cornelius just did a terrible job.

Laurence is the winner. Those pants are bullshit. Nathalia and Dexter are in. Erin is in, because of course she is. They love Erin even though she had no concept of this challenge. Cornelius is in, because drama. Brik is out. “Womp womp.” Heh. He says he didn't think it would end like this but that's life. AND MY DAMN RECORDING CUT OUT. Lifetime, I have my DVR set to record 3 extra minutes and your shit show is still going long. Get your shit together.

Next week: who knows. Something dumb I'm sure.