"The Joe Schmo Show"--episode 4

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: Ashleigh got Matt to end his crush on her by admitting her crush on Ralph, and then being a bitch to Molly at every opportunity because she felt Molly was throwing herself at Ralph. There was a talent show that Hutch won. Matt tried to get everyone to vote for Ashleigh, but Earl was eliminated instead. This sent everyone into a downward spiral, especially Matt, and everyone questioned if they would continue the show. (click for more)

Morning production meeting. The producers make the decision to keep going. They don't say so, but I did read that it was at this point that they changed the show a little bit so Matt wasn't the butt of all the jokes. You know, like wearing Kip's underwear, and Dr. Pat having him make noise during his “breathing exercises” just for fun. They want to move a little faster with the storylines. But they're going to keep going. Matt meanwhile interviews about how Earl's speech was touching because that's what's important in life. He really just thought about winning money and being on TV when he signed up, not about what if I like people and don't want to vote them out?

Hutch rolls into lunch with Dr. Pat's therapy dolls. He interviews that the producers and everyone have decided to rearrange the game, so they decided Dr. Pat and Hutch slept together. Why? Where did this happen because no one has their own room? Why would she sleep with the asshole? No one asks these important questions, although everyone does roll their eyes and say they don't believe him. Hutch keeps saying dumb offensive shit. It's disgusting and Kip even tells him not to talk about her that way. I think Matt is like physically disgusted that this might have happened. Everyone is really uncomfortable. Ugh. When Dr. Pat comes in, she doesn't deny anything but sort of limply says it's private and maybe he could not make comments.

OK new game! With those giant sumo suits you put on and just waddle around running into people. Molly says her suit hurts. Then she has a panic attack which I think is real? So she pulls herself out of the game and “helps” Ralph. OK so they all look stupid, and Ralph is there in a kimono and short sword and a gong. Only minorly offensive. Two groups of three, then the winner of each round makes the finals. You either get your opponent on their back or out of the ring. Winner gets a trip to a spa in Utah for a week. Nice. They have to pick fortune cookies to get into the groups of three. Matt gets intimidating and says “You better hope it's not group one!” Brian is worried.

First group is Brian, Matt, and Dr. Pat. When the gong goes off, Matt goes straight for Dr. Pat and just lays her out. Like, she practically goes flying and lands hard on her back. Then he goes for Brian, who easily lets Matt shove him out of the ring. As they show on the replay a million times, Brian was reacting to the fact that Dr. Pat's head slammed on the ground when she fell and she looked stunned. Molly runs over because she's crying and freaking out. She's moving, which is good, but it's scary. Matt looks like he might cry, he looks so upset. Then he actually cries which is not good. He really apologizes as Dr. Pat heads to the hospital. Kip worries that he has to beat Hutch because if the final round is Hutch vs. Matt, Hutch might die. Kip does manage to win. Kip was worried about the final round, but Matt seems to be holding back a little bit. He still wins. Kip interviews about how he would have totally kicked Matt's ass if it had been real. Everyone dogpiles on Matt to be dumb.

Dr. Pat is fine. For some reason at dinner they decide to talk about Brian's masturbation habits. Briefly they ask if Molly is upset, and she says it's fine, and then Matt asks if she's ever done that, and Molly pauses too long. Ashleigh is still pissy because she feels Molly faked her panic attack to hang on Ralph during the game. Also she claims Molly knows about her crush. Every time Ashleigh talks to Matt about this you can tell how uncomfortable he is. Plus Molly interviewed about how her panic attack came out of nowhere, instead of how weird it was to fake a panic attack to flirt with Ralph. Maybe it was a real panic attack and Ashleigh just went with it.

Next game! But first Dr. Pat is back from the hospital. Matt apologizes a bunch of times. He is really sorry, and he says don't say no, he wants to give her his trip he won. Aww. So great. OK today's game is called “Master Debater”. Heh. Matt is supposed to win this game. Each person will argue their point, but their partner can distract then in any way, as long as they don't cover their mouth or make noise. Whoever lasts the longest wins. Matt vs. Kip. Matt is stonefaced, although Kip is just kind of waving his hands around. Eventually he starts grinding on Matt but he doesn't even react. He goes on for almost two minutes. Matt tickles Kip and he's out in three seconds. Dr. Pat has to defend “One night stands are not OK.” Brian pulls out his shirt through his fly and she can't even start. Brian wins handily.

Ashleigh vs. Molly. Molly only makes it 9 seconds in because Ashleigh goes to lift up her skirt. Molly spends her debate time calling Molly out on getting too much attention from Ralph and faking her panic attack at the sumo game. Everyone just stares at her for a minute. Heh. Brian vs. Hutch. Sadly they know Hutch has to step it up, and he does such a good job Brian laughs after like, 10 seconds. But Brian is supposed to win. So in order to get Hutch to laugh right away he's going to have to step it up too. He's got his back to Hutch before he starts, and everyone on the couches is already laughing at him. This is because he pulled a testicle out of his pants. Hee. Ashleigh vs. Matt. He immediately looks up her skirt to win. OK time for Matt vs. Brian. Brian kind of is worried because he's already partially exposed himself, so where can he go from here? Matt goes for sucking on Brian's boob. Hee. Brian, since he has to go for it, completely pulls down pants and boxers and jumps on Matt's back. Nuts to shoulders. Matt is stonefaced. Nice. So Matt wins, and he's glad because it means he gets to relax.

Eviction ceremony. You can see from the shots of the table that the pile of ashes that is supposedly Gina's plate is not the same pile of ashes they put out there last time. Whatever. Ralph wants to ask if anyone feels vulnerable, which Hutch says he does. Weirdly he asks Ashleigh how the situation with her roommate is, and she says it's fine, thank you for asking. Brian likes that he didn't have to look at his own ass. Fake votes tonight include people talking about Brian's penis and balls. Matt spells Ashleigh's name wrong. Ralph collects the votes, but he says before they read them, there is some unfinished business. Matt originally won the sumo game, and gave his prize to Dr. Pat. However, there was another part to the prize: along with the trip is a one-time offer to take $25,000 to leave the game right now. Wow. They did this on “The Mole” and it screwed me mentally because the woman who left was my top suspect for being the mole. Dr. Pat talks about how this is a lot of money, but money is not the most important thing, she's made some life-long friends, but she's going to take it. Heh. So she's leaving. Of course, because this is how this works, Ralph reads the votes anyway so they can all know Hutch would have gone home. Dr. Pat is happy that by leaving they can all stay and have fun. Also Ralph says she can keep her plate. Hee. Matt interviews that he doesn't regret giving Dr. Pat his prize at all.

Next time: completely ridiculous costumes, and drama.