Project Runway All Stars 2/11/16--"What Makes an All Star?" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: some nonsense, and then some more nonsense, and then everyone tried to have the show with Tim Gunn but without Heidi but that didn't last. But apparently it is important enough that you can be on that show and still be an All Star? “What Makes an All Star?” is a person who has the time and feels like being on TV again, as far as I can tell. No one from the last season of this show. Filming conflicts? Or no one was good enough? Who knows.(click for more)

So that five minute thing right before this episode is all about Kini and all his best looks from his season. So feel free to skip it.

I did like Kini though. He says he needs to win. So does everyone probably. Emily (from Kini's season) says she wasn't competitive enough. I think I remember her? Not that much though. I do remember Fade, because I think he was interesting. The three of them have a nice reunion. Mitchell shows up to be a super diva. I think I remember him doing that? Like, I thought he was bitchy but not funny and then he went out super early and I was shocked because I was sure they'd keep him around for drama. Sam shows up. Sam was on “Under the Gunn” which is why you may not recognize him. I barely do and I watched that show. Also how is he on “Project Runway All Stars” without being on “Project Runway”? And if so does that mean next time we have All Stars we'll see “Project Runway Jr” kids on there too? Whatever. He's cute. Asha is here too from that show, and all I remember of her is that she was tacky. Alexander. Oh, and Ken. Uuuuuggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Oh now we have to remember their stupid drama. Fuck you, producers, for bringing back someone who showed an unstable personality, and also the person who provoked them and then said they were afraid for their safety, I'm sure in the hopes they'll have another stupid fight we all have to watch. I can't tell you anything about their designing because you made sure that wasn't the point of their casting. Ken claims to be calmer, which means either he'll control himself so much he's boring, or he's exactly the same. Oh, and Layana too. I remember her as being really whiny and I was glad to see her eliminated. There are too many people here right now who I remember as tedious and I was glad to see the end of them.

Oo, not Stella though. The one with all the leather. Stella can stay. Also! Daniel Franco! Admit it, you remember Daniel Franco and thought he was weird but are not opposed to his casting. Valerie...did I like Valerie? I feel like she wasn't that bad? Dom is the only winner this season. She's excited to see Ken for some reason. All the designers finally meet up. Mitchell claims Sam is an “undercover bitch” because he blogged about season 13. “Mitchell makes for decent television and horrible dresses.” He's not wrong. Also hee.

Alyssa shows up in some terrible knee-length wide leg high-waisted denim pants. Zanna is the mentor again, and Isaac and Georgina are back as judges. Their first challenge is to remember the moment in their life when they realized they were “destined” to be a designer. That is supposed to serve as their inspiration. $200 and one day. No other restrictions? Hmm.

They're all sketching in Mood for no reason, although if they don't sew there it should be fine. Layana sketches armor. Mitchell says his parents were addicts (did that ever come up his season?) so he played a lot of video games and that's his inspiration. OK so neither of those things has anything to do with the moment you decided to be a designer. Ken's mom had a friend who did fashion illustrations and he took one home one day to trace. See, THAT'S what the challenge was about, I think. Asha is also making armor, or leather or something, she references warriors. Daniel Franco got really into jackets and then started to make them. He flails at shopping, probably because he's forgotten in the past 10 years how that works. So far I've heard a lot of people describe designs but only Ken and Daniel Franco have described a moment when they realized they were destined to be a designer. But I'm sure it won't come up and no one will care because that's how this show works.

The workroom is the usual, although it looks more branded than usual. The “accessory wall” seems to have two sponsors: BaubleBar and Chinese Laundry. Chinese Laundry? Are you serious? Sigh. Anyway, as they all get to work, Daniel Franco almost immediately cuts off the tip of his finger and bleeds everywhere. Good job, Daniel Franco. Sorry but I have to use his full name. You know how it is. Sam calls him a drama queen, because apparently injuring your hand during a sewing competition is causing drama. People are thinking Dom is their competition. Also anyone who is fast, meaning Kini and I think Layana who has a lot done already.

Zanna shows up in a weird top with the elbows cut out of the sleeves. Asha's top has two strips of fabric criss-crossing over the boobs. She calls this “tribal rhythm” but Kini says it's been done before which is true. Stella has a specific moment too, involving Vogue. Her look is not rock-and-roll enough. Mitchell has a dark top and lots of tulle. Zanna actually asks him if he has anything else, which is not a good sign. Fade talks about escaping East Germany and graffiti to represent the Berlin Wall. Daniel Franco has decided to work with lame, which he's never worked with before. Zanna tells him this challenge is about what you know, which I guess is true but also sounds very close to “don't be innovative” so we'll see. So in Mood, Asha and Mitchell both talked about their looks but didn't have a specific moment. They don't show Zanna challenging them on that. However Emily describes a moment pulling a flyer out of a trash can, and Zanna then asks her how that inspires her look. “I like to do streetwear with a luxury twist, so I like to use really nice, fine fabrics.” How is that related to pulling a flyer for a runway show out of the trash? Sam claims that when you're gay you can't play sports because people look at you weird in the locker room. OK they probably do? But I am sure there are plenty of gay men who play sports anyway? He makes it sound like he was banned from the locker room and I hope his school wasn't backwards enough to actually do that. Also Sam is a baby because his inspiration to become a designer? Watching Project Runway. Ken has a nice black brocade fabric. Alexander has to be careful of being too old. Layana actually made a jumpsuit, but her top is so sparse she may have a wardrobe malfunction. Valerie might make a jacket. She wants to but might not have time. Dom made a cocoon to be fashion forward. Zanna's parting words are that she does not see a lot of the inspiration in these designs. THANK YOU. Oh, there are also new hair and makeup people, and I haven't heard of them, which is a slight improvement over Mary Kay.

Model fitting. Daniel Franco realizes he doesn't have time to finish his thing. Mitchell loves his design so he doesn't care that Zanna hated it. Layana is going to pipe all the edges of her top to make it sturdier. I'm not sure what Daniel Franco is doing because the scraps of his jacket are still sitting on the dress form.

Runway Day. Valerie did attempt a jacket after all. Dom thinks she has to be on top of her game because she's won already, as if no one else has to be on top of their game. Daniel Franco pretty much has to make his entire jacket. Mitchell and Sam throw shade at each other, but in confessional so they can pretend to be nice in person. HOT MAKEUP GUY SCOTT!!!! You guys, I just flapped my hands and shrieked about this. I was so annoyed last season of regular Project Runway that he was gone! And here he is! I hope he flirts with people. This is where I find my joy in this show. The makeup artist. Daniel Franco is flailing, and it may partially be because he was on the show back when they regularly had two days for things. When time is called Daniel Franco has unfinished armholes and it's not good.

Guest judge is Dmitry. Also they're doing the “blind runway” thing, where they don't know who did what until after they grade everything. Alyssa says this means their “signature style” is more important than ever. She also did a weird emphasis on this as if the challenge was to show the judges their style, instead of being inspired by a specific moment. But whatever. Ken: black top and pencil skirt in black brocade. The skirt hits below the knee but most of it is lace, and the top has a high crew neck and short sleeves, and a peplum. It's OK, although the peplum is kind of wide. Emily: big oversized jacket with black sleeves and a huge hood, with the front and back panels of white with black and blue stripes. The stripes make an inverted V and kind of make the jacket look really wide. There are also some nondescript black pants and shoes so nude I thought she was barefoot at first. But it does seem like what she made on her season. Fade: the top is mostly pink, with elbow length sleeves. The skirt is black and white and almost looks like it's tiny checks. Actually the top has some orange in it, and black lines like hash marks. The waist of the skirt has an asymmetrical hem. Asha: black leather short full skirt and two strips of black leather over her boobs. It's not very exciting but is exactly how I remember Asha from when she was on. Daniel Franco: sleeveless dress in baby blue lame, or what looks like raw silk anyway. Actually in closeups it looks thick and almost quilted. It's a wrap style, where the front seam starts at one shoulder and travels to her crotch, where the slit is. She's almost flashing people. Also kind of wrinkled.

Sam: the top is a black mesh, lined in white, with trim that is blue and white ribbons. And then two strips of black from her shoulders to her waist. But the top is so poorly fitted! It's so huge and I am sure that from the side you can see her entire torso. The whole thing is a jumpsuit with pants in that black mesh looking fabric. The pants seem to fit well but that top just doesn't look right. Kini: short dress with a really full skirt with a thick hemline, like he used to do. The top is sleeveless with a a tall shirt collar. All black with a white collar and white trim around the armholes. When they show a closeup it's actually denim (also very Kini) and the skirt has a weird bulge over one hip, and it's backless. Dom: huge oversized jacket, with big bell sleeves that end just past the elbow and a print that is white with black stripes of different sizes. The front is open to her navel, but it's cut so the lapels frame the opening and there's about a handspan of space. Underneath is a tight dress that is so close to the skin color of the model it looks like she's naked. Valerie: short dress or maybe a romper? The very bottom is black, and then about at her hips is white, and the shoulders are coral. Around the bodice are geometric shapes, in the color with white outlines. It reminds me of those dresses Dmitry used to do, with the shapes floating on illusion netting so it looked abstract? Over this is a short black shrug. It certainly looks interesting.

Stella: black top and pencil skirt. The skirt hits below the knee but is cut into tabs from the knee down. The top has big grommets and laces up to just under the boobs, and then is open a narrow space, with a small peplum. Mitchell: the top is two fabrics, one a purple floral on black, and one a maroon. But there is an asymmetric neckline and the floral covers more of the bodice so it's lopsided. She has a titscrepancy going on. The skirt is a floor length column of white tulle. Plus the maroon side of the top barely covers her boob. Layana: super wide pants with pleats, that look like a full skirt. The top is one length of fabric around her torso, and then two more crossed over her boobs, but not as obvious as Asha's was. The neckline looks more deliberate and the back has a cool pattern. Alexander: short black cocktail dress with tight elbow length sleeves and a V neck with a stand-up collar. The fabric is sparkly but other than that I don't see what is so special about it. I could probably buy a dress like that.

Dom, Sam, Stella, Kini, Alexander, Emily, and Fade are safe. Layana finally has a specific moment, about watching her mom get dressed. As they show a good closeup of her look, the top looks like a bra with a really wide sash sewn to it. Or snapped to it, because there are what look like metal snaps. Georgina likes the look but maybe not the print. Everyone likes the pants, which are cool. Ken's story is now about powerful women who ran the household? I liked his first story better. It's not particularly original, but it looks very expensive and young. Isaac claims he's the one to beat. OK Isaac. Asha's look is not fresh and new. Isaac calls it off-the-rack which is not great. It's also pleather so it's cheap. Daniel Franco started designing to impress his future wife so she'd go out with him. He then tells everyone he cut himself and he knows that was a problem because the quality is poor. Alyssa is like, you haven't heard our critique yet! What if we loved it? “Just kidding.” No she really says “just kidding”. Ouch. His moment was cute but they don't see it in the look. The fabric is wrong and Isaac thinks it's a big nothing. Valerie was inspired by a gift of a sewing machine and she was making shapes with it one day when she was inspired. It's beautiful and well made. Isaac doesn't like the jacket but it's not terrible. Mitchell talks about video games. Georgina says there's an idea here but this specific dress is not very good. Alyssa describes the titscrepancy and Dmitry starts his comment with “Well I'm trying to find something positive about it” and he ends it with “I don't think it's fashion.” Ouch.

Valerie's design was new and they easily saw her story in the design. Layana was fresh but Georgina thought the top was cheap. Ken's outfit was really well made and had a strong sense of identity. Asha made a fine dress that had nothing wrong with it technically but also was super boring. Mitchell had an idea but the end result was bad. They do seem to be taking the stance of “at least he had an idea and maybe later he'll have a better one.” Daniel Franco made a confusing dress in the wrong fabric and no one seemed to really like it.

Layana is in. Valerie is the winner! Ken is in. Valerie is really excited to win. Asha is in. Mitchell's dress had too many ideas that didn't come together. Daniel Franco's story was too complicated and his dress was terrible. Then Alyssa is like “We feel we still don't know either of you” which is some bullshit since this is ALL STARS. These people have been on TV before. Anyway, they're BOTH in which is the part that is bullshit. Your job is to eliminate people. Do your damn jobs. “But you have to promise to raise your game!” Shut up. You guys I gave up alcohol for Lent and I am not looking forward to almost this whole stupid season sober. Sam backs me up and says they both fucked up and should both go home.

This season: dancing, Medieval times, a wind machine, a gang of naked people. “For the first time we're having a naked runway!” Please explain to me how you're going to judge people's designs when the models are NOT WEARING CLOTHING. The usual drama. Oh, and then Ken calls Sam a liar and gets pissed and quits. Yeah, that's exactly what I want to see.